This Mother-Of-Four Had Enough With Men Not Helping Around The House, And Her Rant Has Now Gone Viral
Raising a family is tough, it takes a lot of hard work and commitment from both partners and communication and the spirit of teamwork is vital. So you can quite easily imagine the resentment that quickly sets in when one partner begins to take their foot off the gas! The other has to pick up the burden, and that doesn’t bode well for the relationship. Or, as Australian blogger and mum of 4 Constance Hall puts it in a Facebook post that has gone viral, “All you’re left with is silent resentment. And that my friends is relationship cancer…”
Cue an outpouring of comments from, almost exclusively, women who are frustrated with their men and their lack of consideration. While societal attitudes towards women are changing, with the fight against things like sexual harassment and unequal pay bringing some positive results, it seems that domestically there is still some work to do. Obviously that’s not to say that all men are slacking off, there are also many women who are happy and grateful that their man has been raised with a sense of responsibility!
Scroll down below to see Constance’s post, and let us know what you think in the comments. Do you agree with her? If you have a partner, do you make a good team? We look forward to hearing your opinion!
Blogger and mum of 4 Constance Hall had enough with the daily chores that she’s left alone with every day…
So she took it to Facebook to explain just how frustrating it gets
“These nutcases are my world”
Most commenters were women who could definitely relate to Constance’s rant
Some tried to find an explanation for the problem
While others were happy with their relationships
stop making this about men vs women, this is about individual jerks. I am a man and I cook most of the meals in my house, I do the dishes at least half the week, I do the laundry and any of the other house chores that need to be done. My wife does them too, we don't wait for the other to do them, when we see they need to be done we just do them. I know plenty of guys like me, we don't think we are special, or the exceptions, we are just people being adults and doing what we all need to do to have a happy home. So please for the love of god stop acting like this a gender issue, it is just an issue with some people that are lazy and inconsiderate, some of those people happen to be men, some of them happen to be women, it doesn't make stop indicting an entire gender because of the worst people who happen to have that gender
Nobody said the entire male gender is guilty of this. However, as a woman who has lived with a few men... this person isn't wrong that many men are this way. I can't tell you how irritating it can be to remind a grown adult of their household responsibilities. Constantly going behind someone to pick up their mess, close a cupboard, remind them that yes, the house needs vacuuming. Women are still considered "homemakers" in many households, even when both people work full time, and still take on the brunt of the housework in many households. There are statistics and studies out there for you to check out. Look at all the women commenting on having to deal with the very same thing. Don't discount their experiences because you don't want anyone to say anything bad about men. We all know all men aren't this way.
I am not in anyway discounting these people's experiences. They are real and they are not fair in the least. But they have a problem with their husbands in particular, not men. And to be totally fair I have no problem with this lady's rant, Constance Hall is never once in her rant complaining about men, she is complaining about her husband. My complaint is with the headline to the article, "This Mother-Of-Four Had Enough With Men Not Helping Around The House, And Her Rant Has Now Gone Viral". That title is divisive and sexist and not at all accurate or productive.
Luke Oakridge: How about talking to your partner and asking "I am going to be close to the supermarket, shall I buy XXX?" or "Does XYZ has to be done?". But to be fair, which chores other than the supermarket one would you do twice because it is NOT clear that it has been done? Usually I can see if washing, etc. is done or not. And if not, as I said: try talking to your partner.
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but isn't this what you wanted? you wanted to work, not mans fault that you made an illogical choice to be both, men never agreed to become homemakers when women were granted their rights,those rights literally gave you half of mans salaries work that you stole form a man, you were given the rights to work,that's it. Back in the day it was easy for one man to support the whole family but women bought the whole equality nonsense and made everything way worse, now you can't even have a normal family/relationship,just look at womans happiness dropping through decades. And all for serving the corporations and making women working cattle rather than giving them the time for their own mental health, women literally traded the choice of building the next generation for cattle work, no man would trade that, that's why no man will become a homemaker either, they are not that dumb to take up another responsibility that they can't hold up.
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But if you look at the statistics, men still work more outside the house than women, so it makes sense that women would do more chores. Also, having a husband (or wife) not doing a chore after you've talked with them and discussed it with them many times is a problem, but the women in the article seems to want the husband to do his share without any communication from her whatsoever. That is doomed to fail since people have differing expectations for when chores needed to be done (when I lived alone, I almost never vaccuumed and it didn't bother me. You couldn't even see any dirt because of the grey carpet). Also you could end up doing chores twice, like each person bringing home groceries on the same day and not having room in the fridge. The idea that the women in the article want of "do any chore you see" isn't realistic because there is no organization and it will always end up with people doing unequal work and things being done twice.
But if someone comes over & the house is a mess, it's the woman who gets blamed. A guy doing the same as a woman gets extra credit.
So is mowing the grass and trimming the hedges a man's job and people think less of them when the yard looks shabby? Does my wife get extra credit because she helps me do yard work? You see how silly your line of thinking is?
Your wife is very fortunate. She will live longer and be healthier and happier. Also, I believe that many divorces result from overburdened wives growing bitter and angry.
Yes agree.....Her husband sounds like a jerk or an immature child at best. It’s not a man problem, it’s a “you married the wrong person” problem.
Well said. In my house my father always cooks and cleans and such, and my mum can be a bit of a slob sometimes. There is no reason for making feminism a sort of competition, or that women are superior, it’s about equality. My mum is also the one who makes the most money for the household, so she contributes just as much.
Alia G., the fact that your mother makes more money shouldn't mean she should do fewer chores. If your father works as many hours as your mother than he should get the same credit for that as your mother. Your father shouldn't have to work more hours just because his job pays less. It's supposed to be a partnership.
I see your point, but honestly, it's hard not to make this a man/woman thing at least to an extent, because it's a society-wide problem with how men are generally raised differently than girls. I'm not trying to make sweeping generalizations, I know there are exceptions, but take a stroll down a toy aisle sometime. Look at the "girls" toys - play kitchens, pretend vacuums, baby dolls. The "boy" toys don't have any of that shit. They have Legos, action figures, trucks, and toy guns. Look at our country's history, how women have come from being literal property to being 1950s Stepford wives to finally venturing out into the workplace. That "women are the keepers of the home" attitude is still very ingrained in some people. It SHOULD be a matter of adults just being adults regardless of gender, but unfortunately, it doesn't play out that way a lot of the time. I know a LOT of women who complain about this issue, but very, very, very few men.
I agree with Brandon. This sounds like an unhealthy relationship. A well-rounded 'healthy' relationship, is when one party makes up what lacks is the other party, and vice versa. One party should NEVER 'feel' used. I strongly advise couples/marriage counseling .
You're the exception to the rule, buddy. Most of the men I've known aren't lazy or "clueless", they just don't prioritize the same way women do. My husband will do pretty much anything I ask him to, but he rarely does it on his own because it just doesn't occur to him.
Agreed. My doctor dad did the cooking, laundry and took bins out when needed and also looked after the three of us when Mum was on nights as a nurse at the hospital. My husband does the same now. All men are not like this - idiotic women choose these types of men, then rant about how useless they are and disparage all of the gender.
I work at home. I spend all my day doing R&D usually. The one thing I hate more than anything is doing dishes. Lo and behold: our apartment doesn't have a dishwasher. My girl works and does a great job, everyone loves her to death. When she gets home, she is the worst slob ever. She refuses to ever go in the kitchen and thinks cleaning the bathroom counter is all she needs to do. Basically because thats what is convenient for her. I've lived with her for about ten years. I've lived with three other girls for long stretches and they were all exactly like this. Didn't matter if I worked at home or not. My mom was a housewife. All she did all day was cook/clean/sew/garden. She liked it and had six kids. She was a tyrant though, constantly yelling at her kids. It really put up a barrier between most of her kids and her. This article to me screams that you have done everything for so long if as though it was your job. Then one day you threw a tantrum instead of being polite.
but you know, whatever. its fking dishes. grow up. be an adult and deal with it. Its not like she is a horrible person to me.
You can blame your Mother in Law for raising such lazy slobs. My Mother in Law raise my husband to run the sweeper, clean bathrooms and do dishes, she also taught him how to cook. I wish every woman had the husband I have. Ladies raise your sons to do better than your husbands.
You can blame whoever you want, or you can address the problem. None of this helps anything.
But Marcia just pointed out the problem. This is one of the biggest causes of people (cause nowadays there's a lot of women too) not helping around with chores: they didn't learn it at home. They never had the experience. Maybe they did bare minumum for survival when they stayed at a dorm or lived on their own, but after meeting their more organised partner, they automatically dropped the load. Teach your kids to help around the house (not only their room), so they won't have to be re-taught when they're grown ups.
It's actually incredible how you've managed to still blame women for this. Not even a mention of the husband's father. Unbelievable.
Exactly. ALWAYS the woman, just happens to be the MIL this time. The person who shirks is the culprit. No-one else. Reminds me every time of 'explanations' for why the ultra-macho military freak Henry V's son was a total loser. Apparently, because his mother gave birth to him at a location Henry didn't approve of. Case closed.
This comment has been deleted.
I wish I had the husband you have. LOL
All parents should teach all of their kids the knowledge and skills they have learned, be it housework, paying bills and managing a budget, cleaning, car maintenance, yard work, woodworking, sewing, etc. Everyone can use all of these skills.
stop making this about men vs women, this is about individual jerks. I am a man and I cook most of the meals in my house, I do the dishes at least half the week, I do the laundry and any of the other house chores that need to be done. My wife does them too, we don't wait for the other to do them, when we see they need to be done we just do them. I know plenty of guys like me, we don't think we are special, or the exceptions, we are just people being adults and doing what we all need to do to have a happy home. So please for the love of god stop acting like this a gender issue, it is just an issue with some people that are lazy and inconsiderate, some of those people happen to be men, some of them happen to be women, it doesn't make stop indicting an entire gender because of the worst people who happen to have that gender
Nobody said the entire male gender is guilty of this. However, as a woman who has lived with a few men... this person isn't wrong that many men are this way. I can't tell you how irritating it can be to remind a grown adult of their household responsibilities. Constantly going behind someone to pick up their mess, close a cupboard, remind them that yes, the house needs vacuuming. Women are still considered "homemakers" in many households, even when both people work full time, and still take on the brunt of the housework in many households. There are statistics and studies out there for you to check out. Look at all the women commenting on having to deal with the very same thing. Don't discount their experiences because you don't want anyone to say anything bad about men. We all know all men aren't this way.
I am not in anyway discounting these people's experiences. They are real and they are not fair in the least. But they have a problem with their husbands in particular, not men. And to be totally fair I have no problem with this lady's rant, Constance Hall is never once in her rant complaining about men, she is complaining about her husband. My complaint is with the headline to the article, "This Mother-Of-Four Had Enough With Men Not Helping Around The House, And Her Rant Has Now Gone Viral". That title is divisive and sexist and not at all accurate or productive.
Luke Oakridge: How about talking to your partner and asking "I am going to be close to the supermarket, shall I buy XXX?" or "Does XYZ has to be done?". But to be fair, which chores other than the supermarket one would you do twice because it is NOT clear that it has been done? Usually I can see if washing, etc. is done or not. And if not, as I said: try talking to your partner.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
but isn't this what you wanted? you wanted to work, not mans fault that you made an illogical choice to be both, men never agreed to become homemakers when women were granted their rights,those rights literally gave you half of mans salaries work that you stole form a man, you were given the rights to work,that's it. Back in the day it was easy for one man to support the whole family but women bought the whole equality nonsense and made everything way worse, now you can't even have a normal family/relationship,just look at womans happiness dropping through decades. And all for serving the corporations and making women working cattle rather than giving them the time for their own mental health, women literally traded the choice of building the next generation for cattle work, no man would trade that, that's why no man will become a homemaker either, they are not that dumb to take up another responsibility that they can't hold up.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
But if you look at the statistics, men still work more outside the house than women, so it makes sense that women would do more chores. Also, having a husband (or wife) not doing a chore after you've talked with them and discussed it with them many times is a problem, but the women in the article seems to want the husband to do his share without any communication from her whatsoever. That is doomed to fail since people have differing expectations for when chores needed to be done (when I lived alone, I almost never vaccuumed and it didn't bother me. You couldn't even see any dirt because of the grey carpet). Also you could end up doing chores twice, like each person bringing home groceries on the same day and not having room in the fridge. The idea that the women in the article want of "do any chore you see" isn't realistic because there is no organization and it will always end up with people doing unequal work and things being done twice.
But if someone comes over & the house is a mess, it's the woman who gets blamed. A guy doing the same as a woman gets extra credit.
So is mowing the grass and trimming the hedges a man's job and people think less of them when the yard looks shabby? Does my wife get extra credit because she helps me do yard work? You see how silly your line of thinking is?
Your wife is very fortunate. She will live longer and be healthier and happier. Also, I believe that many divorces result from overburdened wives growing bitter and angry.
Yes agree.....Her husband sounds like a jerk or an immature child at best. It’s not a man problem, it’s a “you married the wrong person” problem.
Well said. In my house my father always cooks and cleans and such, and my mum can be a bit of a slob sometimes. There is no reason for making feminism a sort of competition, or that women are superior, it’s about equality. My mum is also the one who makes the most money for the household, so she contributes just as much.
Alia G., the fact that your mother makes more money shouldn't mean she should do fewer chores. If your father works as many hours as your mother than he should get the same credit for that as your mother. Your father shouldn't have to work more hours just because his job pays less. It's supposed to be a partnership.
I see your point, but honestly, it's hard not to make this a man/woman thing at least to an extent, because it's a society-wide problem with how men are generally raised differently than girls. I'm not trying to make sweeping generalizations, I know there are exceptions, but take a stroll down a toy aisle sometime. Look at the "girls" toys - play kitchens, pretend vacuums, baby dolls. The "boy" toys don't have any of that shit. They have Legos, action figures, trucks, and toy guns. Look at our country's history, how women have come from being literal property to being 1950s Stepford wives to finally venturing out into the workplace. That "women are the keepers of the home" attitude is still very ingrained in some people. It SHOULD be a matter of adults just being adults regardless of gender, but unfortunately, it doesn't play out that way a lot of the time. I know a LOT of women who complain about this issue, but very, very, very few men.
I agree with Brandon. This sounds like an unhealthy relationship. A well-rounded 'healthy' relationship, is when one party makes up what lacks is the other party, and vice versa. One party should NEVER 'feel' used. I strongly advise couples/marriage counseling .
You're the exception to the rule, buddy. Most of the men I've known aren't lazy or "clueless", they just don't prioritize the same way women do. My husband will do pretty much anything I ask him to, but he rarely does it on his own because it just doesn't occur to him.
Agreed. My doctor dad did the cooking, laundry and took bins out when needed and also looked after the three of us when Mum was on nights as a nurse at the hospital. My husband does the same now. All men are not like this - idiotic women choose these types of men, then rant about how useless they are and disparage all of the gender.
I work at home. I spend all my day doing R&D usually. The one thing I hate more than anything is doing dishes. Lo and behold: our apartment doesn't have a dishwasher. My girl works and does a great job, everyone loves her to death. When she gets home, she is the worst slob ever. She refuses to ever go in the kitchen and thinks cleaning the bathroom counter is all she needs to do. Basically because thats what is convenient for her. I've lived with her for about ten years. I've lived with three other girls for long stretches and they were all exactly like this. Didn't matter if I worked at home or not. My mom was a housewife. All she did all day was cook/clean/sew/garden. She liked it and had six kids. She was a tyrant though, constantly yelling at her kids. It really put up a barrier between most of her kids and her. This article to me screams that you have done everything for so long if as though it was your job. Then one day you threw a tantrum instead of being polite.
but you know, whatever. its fking dishes. grow up. be an adult and deal with it. Its not like she is a horrible person to me.
You can blame your Mother in Law for raising such lazy slobs. My Mother in Law raise my husband to run the sweeper, clean bathrooms and do dishes, she also taught him how to cook. I wish every woman had the husband I have. Ladies raise your sons to do better than your husbands.
You can blame whoever you want, or you can address the problem. None of this helps anything.
But Marcia just pointed out the problem. This is one of the biggest causes of people (cause nowadays there's a lot of women too) not helping around with chores: they didn't learn it at home. They never had the experience. Maybe they did bare minumum for survival when they stayed at a dorm or lived on their own, but after meeting their more organised partner, they automatically dropped the load. Teach your kids to help around the house (not only their room), so they won't have to be re-taught when they're grown ups.
It's actually incredible how you've managed to still blame women for this. Not even a mention of the husband's father. Unbelievable.
Exactly. ALWAYS the woman, just happens to be the MIL this time. The person who shirks is the culprit. No-one else. Reminds me every time of 'explanations' for why the ultra-macho military freak Henry V's son was a total loser. Apparently, because his mother gave birth to him at a location Henry didn't approve of. Case closed.
This comment has been deleted.
I wish I had the husband you have. LOL
All parents should teach all of their kids the knowledge and skills they have learned, be it housework, paying bills and managing a budget, cleaning, car maintenance, yard work, woodworking, sewing, etc. Everyone can use all of these skills.