“AITAH For Ending An 8-Year Friendship After My Cameras Recorded Her In My Home?”

It’s hard to say how long a friendship lasts. In some cases, a person may feel like your best friend after just one week and remain your BFF for life. Other times, a 15-year friendship might end in one day.

One woman decided to call it quits with her friend after eight years, but she had a pretty good reason. She found out that the so-called friend used to come sneaking into her house while she was out of town. Not able to get past that kind of betrayal, the woman cut off the ‘friend’ out of her life but faced backlash.

More info: Reddit

Upon checking her security camera footage, a woman got an icky surprise: her friend of eight years was sneaking into her house uninvited

Home security cameras in a modern living room setting.

Image credits: toonsteb (not the actual image)

She decided to end the friendship but later wondered if that was the right decision

Text discussing woman breaking into a friend's house while out of town, raising friendship concerns.

Text about friendship struggles and personal crises, emphasizing the exhaustion from constant relationship issues.

Text from a person explaining they went out of town after installing a new security system at home.

Text exchange about teaching daughter to watch home cameras with pets.

A woman views a home security video on a tablet, showing a living room, emphasizing home intrusion and surveillance.

Image credits: freepik (not the actual image)

Text about nighttime security camera footage in a friend's house.

Text on a screen describing a woman using a phone flashlight to inspect a friend’s house while she is away.

Text exchange about a woman entering a friend's house uninvited, mentioning searching the garage for a container.

Person holding a red flashlight in the dark, symbolizing breaking into a friend's house.

Image credits: New Africa (not the actual image)

Text conversation about security cameras capturing a friend's unexpected indoor presence.

Friend admits entering house for art supplies, causing a cat to escape.

Text exchange discussing a woman sneaking around a friend's house with a flashlight, causing discomfort.

Woman on phone, upset, discussing a friend breaking into her house while she's away.

Image credits: Drazen Zigic (not the actual image)

Text image discussing boundary issues between friends.

Text message about relationship advice after friend broke into a house, feeling upset.

Text reveals a conversation about ending a toxic friendship after a woman laughed off breaking into a friend's house.

Front porch of a house with two chairs and a black cat, related to breaking into a friend's home story.

Image credits: Brett Sayles (not the actual image)

Text discussing forgiving a friend for breaking into a house and giving another chance.

Text expressing frustration and questioning if breaking into a friend's house was wrong.

Text message revealing a woman breaking into a house without a key.

Text update about boundaries and repeated incidents between friends.

Text about friendship, forgiveness, decision, and security in relationships.

Image credits: lovemystellabella

Image credits: yakobchuk (not the actual image)

Some of our friends might be emotional vampires and exhaust us with their friendship

The author mentions how she felt that the friendship had been exhausting her for quite a while now. “She was draining me emotionally, and I was trying to pull away,” she admitted in one comment.

We all like to vent to our friends about our problems without expecting them to offer solutions. But some friends or family members might overwhelm us with their negativity and constant drama. Or, as the author of this story put it, “constant personal relationship crises.”

The unofficial term for these kinds of people is “emotional vampires.” Suzy Reading, a psychologist and chartered member of the British Psychological Society, says that these kinds of people need constant validation and attention and often have a victim mentality.

“A lot of times, they don’t actually want solutions or advice – they just want to offload,” Reading told The Guardian. She emphasizes that women often get stuck in these kinds of friendships, as they’ve been brought up to prioritize the needs of others and keep the peace. According to her, even long friendships can end because one friend might find it too hard to keep the friendship up.

Dr. Carla Marie Manly says that we should prioritize ourselves. “If it’s not good for you if you always feel awful after leaving your encounter with another person, it’s okay to let that person know in the gentlest, kindest, and most respectful way possible, ‘I’m not going to be communicating anymore with you. I have things that I need to tend to in my own life, and I wish you well.'”

Image credits: Wavebreak Media (not the actual image)

Researchers observe that most people have up to five close friends on average

Although every friendship is different, researchers have attempted to find out how long a friendship lasts. One survey asked 2,000 people about their friendship dynamics, and it appears that we tend to lose touch with 50% of the friends that we make.

According to the survey, an average friendship lasts 17 years. Female friendships, on average, have a lifespan of 16 years. Interestingly, that’s eight years longer than an average romantic relationship.

A 2023 Pew survey set out to discover how many friends people have on average. The majority (53%) of American adults said they have from one to four close friends, and 38% claimed they have five or more.

Anthropologist Robin Dunbar has proposed an interesting idea that a person can only maintain 150 social contacts in their life. Any more and we would simply find it overwhelming, and the network wouldn’t last long.

Dunbar’s theory goes on in deeper layers: the 150 are meaningful contacts, and then 50 of those are “friends.” The 15 inside those are your good friends, and the five inside that circle are your main support group.

Overall, friendships are essential to people because we’re social beings. Loneliness, as the U.S. Surgeon General reported, can be as damaging to our health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. But that doesn’t mean we have to maintain friendships with those who exhaust us. The point of friendships is to empower and nurture us.

“She did not have a key to my house, but my back garage door is often unlocked. No more!” the author wrote in the comments

Reddit comments discussing a woman breaking into a friend's house while out of town, warning of theft.

Social media comments discussing a woman breaking into a friend's house, emphasizing boundary respect.

Text exchange discussing a woman breaking into a friend's house, highlighted by user reactions.

Reddit comments discussing breaking into a friend's house, mentioning BPD, NPD, and narcissism.

Discussion comment about boundary issues, with responses on a friend breaking into a house and not taking security seriously.

Commenters pointed out that the ‘friend’ might have been doing weird stuff during her ‘visits’ and perhaps even stole something

Text exchange about a woman breaking into a friend's house and lack of friendships.

Woman criticized for breaking into friend's house, comments suggest changing locks.

Text conversation discussing a woman who broke into her friend's house while she was out of town.

Discussion on recovery from addiction and setting boundaries in a comment exchange.

Online comment discussing a woman's inappropriate entry into a friend's house while she was out of town.

Reddit comment discussing personal relationships, with one user responding thoughtfully to another.

People urged the OP to change her locks and cut ties with the friend to avoid any future drama

Comment exchange about friend breaking into house while out of town, justifying actions against criticism.

Comment criticizing friend for breaking into house, emphasizing lack of permission when the owner is out of town.

Comment discussing concerns about breaking into a friend's house, suggesting changing locks.

Text exchange discussing taking away keys after an unannounced entry; advice on controlling house access.

Reddit comment criticizing a friend's inappropriate behavior while out of town.

Comment advising change of locks after a friend breaks into an unattended house.

Comment criticizing a woman's boundary-crossing behavior, emphasizing the need for privacy and prioritizing personal peace.

Others said it’s the author’s fault for not keeping her house secure enough

Text showing a comment urging forgiveness in a dispute over breaking into a friend's house.

Text comment criticizing a woman for breaking into a friend's house, mentioning friendship destruction.

Comment criticizing woman for breaking into friend's house.

Comment criticizing a woman for entering a friend's house without permission while she's away.

Text comment criticizing a woman for breaking into a friend's house and not facing consequences.

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