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Love makes the world go round. And friendships make life more bearable and fun. Research shows that stable, healthy friendships are beneficial to our well-being and can even help us to live longer, healthier lives. Many of us would love for our friendships to last forever. But unfortunately, that's not always possible.
Best friends part for many reasons. Sometimes they drift apart, other times they cut ties after an argument, or one does something totally unforgivable. If you've ever lost a bestie, you might know the heartbreak can be similar to that of losing a lover. When someone went online and asked "how did you lose your best friend?", they were inundated with answers. From "blurred lines", to infidelity, to disability, Bored Panda has gathered the most raw and honest responses.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
It was October 16, 2015. I was working from home that day when I saw a call from him at around 9:15am. I had to ignore the call because I was in an online meeting.
At 2pm my Dad calls my phone, which is unusual since he knows I'm working. I answer it.
He is speaking quietly and very calmly. He says, "Son, I love you very much. I have some terrible news. Jared passed away this morning." Jared's wife was calling me from his phone to say she found him dead.
I couldn't process what he was saying. I said, "That's not funny. Jared, his wife and me and my wife were supposed to meet up next weekend for dinner."
Jared had sleep apnea surgery that same week. He had taken a painkiller and benadryl together. It stopped his heart.
He died 2 days before his 40th birthday.
We were friends since grade school. We did everything together, he was my brother. He was the best man at my wedding earlier that year. I had just shared my son's heartbeat with him via a text message 2 days before. Jared was so excited to be his crazy uncle.
I miss him every single day.
KnightOwl 1 year ago
I was lucky enough to fall in love with my best friend, we were friends for 8yrs and then a couple for 14. He was staying at his mum's house for a few weeks to help her recover from surgery in August 23. One night his mum phoned me at 11pm and told me he was dead. He'd came in after work, checked on his mum and went to the guest room to play xbox, 20 minutes later his mum went in to ask if he was hungry and he was slumped over dead in his gaming chair. He died of a heart attack at 35 due to an undiagnosed heart condition. We just had his first anniversary and it's completely destroyed me, it still doesn't feel real. I know I'll miss him every day for the rest of my life.
Jane Jayne Jain Jeign Jein 1 year ago (edited)
You can call me heartless but this story does not fit this thread. He may feel like his life fell apart when his friend died, but their friendship didn't fall apart.
Angela C 1 year ago
Maybe they changed the title but right now it's asking "how did you lose your best friend" and op did in fact lose his best friend
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Sara Frazer 1 year ago
Oh, my heart 😞 RIP Jared. Idk if I can read this list since I already have tears in my eyes
Cronecast AtTheRisingMoon 1 year ago
Oh, man, I'm so glad he didn't answer the initial call though because it's a completely normal reaction for people to not believe someone is telling the truth (he told his dad "that's not funny") and I am so, so glad that Jared's wife did not have to go through explaining that it was real. Not blaming the OP here AT ALL. It's a very common reaction to something that traumatic -- complete disbelief -- it was much better that the news came from a secondary source so that he could process that shock without it compounding anything for Jared's wife. Poor everybody here, how heartbreaking.
Collins Lawler 1 year ago
I'm so sorry you have had to go through this. I lost 3 of my best friends in a span of 3 years. They were so close to me that they were like my brothers. We basically lived together in our teenage years and early 20s. I think about them every single day, and miss then more than I can describe. A motorcycle wreck, pancreatic issues, and liver transplant rejection. It is a pain that is unique, and I'm so sorry you had to experience it. I won't say the pain goes away, because it hasn't, but I will say that you learn how to carry it better as time goes on. My deepest sympathy for your loss, but at least you have a child to love and cherish now!
RELATED:
#2
He ascended to beagle heaven.
Rayne OfSalt 1 year ago
y'know, it's weird, but on some nights, especially ones after a hard day, I swear I can feel my dearly departed big ol' fat lump of a cat flop himself against my side when I lay down in bed. It's an unmistakable feeling, one with weight behind it, so surely it can't just be a psychosomatic reaction from my nervous system can it?
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John Mosley 1 year ago
I really hope that upon our deaths all of our pets will be happily waiting to greet us.
Mike F 1 year ago
We had one when I was a teenager, he would sleep in the chair next to the front door when my brother and I were out. We'd sneak in (trying not to wake the household) and he'd wake up and his tail would beat on our legs as we walked by in the dark.
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Brittany Grawe 1 year ago
I dunno what I expected when I clicked on this thread, but I've had a long day and this hit toooooo hard.
#3
Depression. I pulled away from everyone because I didn't want to inflict myself on them.
ETA: Holy c**p, I'm so sorry so many of us are in the same boat. ☹
Here's to hoping there's a light at the end of this tunnel.
John Mosley 1 year ago
I lost nearly all of my friends this way. The depression lasted several years so I understand. I'm doing better now and I really appreciate the two guys who checked in on me while I was going through it. It seemed like when I was in it deeply and feeling worthless and like no one loved me one or the other would call. Life savers!
Manel Ibáñez 1 year ago
I did the same and lost most of my friends. Now I think they were not deep friends anyway but it’s something that still makes me sad today
Jane Jayne Jain Jeign Jein 1 year ago
I totally feel the "not wanting to inflict myself" on others - makes building friendships tricky. My smother always called us bollocking animals and regularly reminded us that we were a millstone round her neck. I do not feel at all bad that I no longer inflict myself on her! Hope she's happy now with one less millstone.
Beak Hookage 1 year ago (edited)
Good thing I'd already lost all my friends *before* I became depressed. Gosh, I wonder if there could be a connection. (For the record they didn't turn on me; they just moved away. Or in one case died).
Angela C 1 year ago
My sister's friend tried to do this but my sister just kept calling and texting and coming around. When she was doing better she told my sister she was the one friend she couldn't get rid of and they've been super close ever since
Mari 1 year ago
I m sorry to hear that. It must have been hell to you. I hope you are ok.
Load More Replies...Regardless of the reason, losing a best friend can be devastating. That person was likely part of your life for a while. Someone you shared your innermost thoughts, fears and secrets with. You might have laughed and cried together. And suddenly, they're gone.
Therapists say the brain interprets loss as emotional trauma. There are physical symptoms that come with it. You might not want to eat. Your memory, sleep, and general brain function could be affected. The trauma could last months, or even years.
#4
They became my girlfriend.
Seadog 1 year ago (edited)
Until the age of 17 my best friend was my cousins wifes half sister (lived with her 1/2 sister). We did everything together. Everyone just assumed we'd someday marry. Then, like flipping a switch, one day she just up and moves to live with her mother and other sister (3 hours away). No explanation no warning just packed up and left. We probably havn't spoked a dozen times since and not at all since around 1989. To this day I have no idea wth happened.
Kangaroo 1 year ago (edited)
Your point? “They” can be used as a gender neutral term for a single person. Such as the sentence “if someone doesn’t have anything nice to say, they don’t have to comment it on BP.”
Load More Replies... #5
I started using a wheelchair.
I learned the hard way that most friends just can't deal with that. Almost all of my friends today never knew me as a walking person.
Beak Hookage 1 year ago
Get sick or go broke and you'll find out who your real friends are VERY fast.
Joelle Jansen 1 year ago
This is so wild to me. I have a few friends that are wheelchair users, and whenever they get their wheelchair approved we *cheer* for them. Because it means they finally get the mobility aid they need and get to be in less pain.
KnightOwl 1 year ago
I was 18 when I finally managed to escape from my abusive, toxic family, I ended up living in a homeless hostel. 2 weeks later I managed to see my best friends for the first time and both of them basically talked about themselves the entire time, never asked how I was or anything about my situation. I knew I was done when I started to tell them a little bit about the hostel and they both just said they didn't want to know because it was too depressing. They then literally told me that my life was sad and depressing and I was ruining their fun day by talking about my issues. They then defended their cruel comments by insisting that they were young and deserved to have fun and be carefree and not have to deal with my 'stuff' 12yrs of friendship was destroyed then and there. I never ever thought they could be so heartless and selfish, I'm glad I learned the truth when I did and didn't waste any more time on them.
doredde 1 year ago
You did not need them. "Thankfully" they showed themselves out.
Load More Replies... Colleen Glim 1 year ago
How do you not appreciate a friend because they’re now in a wheelchair? The chair doesn’t define them! They’re still the same person! Some people are so s**t
Schnitzel 1 year ago
Why would a wheel chair matter? It's not like the "friend" has to sit in it and I'm assuming that OP appearance didn't go full on Shrek (yes, some people are very superficial..). I don't get it.
Liz The Biz 1 year ago
My best friend in all the world was born with spina bifda and confined to a wheelchair for his entire life. I always saw the person and not the wheelchair. He had the most amazing personality and would simply light up the room. Unfortunately he passed away a few years back.
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Big Chungus 1 year ago
I can't imagine not being friends with someone just because they are in a wheelchair now, like if anything I would finally be the tallest person lol it boggles my mind
#6
Best friend/room mate and I were watching quantum leap (episode "So help me God") when he suddenly jumped up and yelled "OH F**K"! He promptly collapsed and hit the floor. I tried to catch him before he bounced off the coffee table but ended up going down with him. Realized when doing CPR he was dead. Hypertropic cardiomyopathy, a birth defect, his heart exploded basically. He had strep for a couple weeks and was struggling with it, this ultimately is what caused his heart to give. When he left the apartment that morning to goto class I remember thinking "Geez he looks horrible, he might die..." Drank for a year solid after that.
Edit: Just realized it has been 16 years to the exact day. No wonder why I'm not sleeping...
Display_Name 1 year ago
I was born with a heart defect as well. Any illness/infection is 3x as bad as someone without a heart defect. I've almost unalived from a kidney infection. I went to sleep feeling fine and woke up in the middle of the night with a high grade fever. Another time a brown recluse bit my lower leg. The infection ran straight through me and added a boil the size of a golf ball several feet from the the actual puncture wound. The nurse said if I waited one more day then there would be no use in them lancing it because I wouldn't be alive.
The Dusty Rhino 1 year ago
Almost 2 years ago I went through the very same thing. Except, we were watching a hockey game. It's traumatic.
There are various symptoms of grief that go with the loss of a bestie. You might experience confusion, anger, guilt, sadness, shock, denial and even physical pains before you find yourself accepting the situation. It's important to note that acceptance doesn't mean you no longer grieve the loss, or miss your friend. It means you've decided to move on with your life and cope.
#7
Not me but my son. Him and his high school sweetheart broke up after 4 years together and his best friend immediately swooped in on the girl. Kinda a gut punch after my son had leaned on the best friend in times of trouble with the girl. Turned out he was simply setting up his own hustle. Then to top it all off, the now former best friend and former girlfriend went to work on the rest of the friend group to ice out my son. Damn teens can be cruel as hell. He’s got a great attitude about the whole mess though, he says “those were high school friends, on to better things”.
JammaCoast2Coast 1 year ago
I feel this - Sophomore year of college, my high school BFF married my high school sweetheart and that shattered me for years. They're still married and have a Mormon bus load of kids now. In all honestly, I hope they're both happy, healthy, and have the life they want together.
#8
I noticed that he never came to my place to catch up. I stopped going over to his place to see how long until he noticed....
It's been 5 years now 🤷♂️.
AtMostAFabulist 1 year ago
Been there. I realized I would always make the plans to get together. We even went to the same community College for a while. I stopped making an effort and that was pretty much it. I got a letter from them like 5 + years later after i moved out of state, saying it would be a shame to end our long friendship. I steamed open the letter to read it, sealed it back up and wrote return to sender on the envelope.
Brittany Grawe 1 year ago
After a couple of years of no contact I got a text message saying "my mom misses you". We were maybe 21 years old at the time and I guess she was just too insecure to say she missed me herself and I was too immature to realize she was insecure.
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Gracie Mae 1 year ago
it's sad when you realize that your 'friends' (& sometimes family, too) only make time for you when you initiate it. I stopped doing that, too, and it was almost a yr before my sister realized she hadn't made the effort to visit me. It hasn't changed anything & it's heartbreaking, to me at least
Lynette Hannan (Lyn) 1 year ago
30 years ago for me. They wouldn't know I've been married for 25 years, better off without them.
HappySquirrel 1 year ago
I actually did this very same thing with several people that claimed to be friends. I realized I was the one that always called them - they never called me, unless they needed something. Usually it was help with a computer problem, since I'm the techy one. When I stopped making an effort, many of them just fell away and never contacted me at all, so I just wrote them off. Only one of them must have had a realization that our friendship was very one-sided, and they started making an effort to check in with me now and then, instead of waiting for me to call or message them first.
#9
Car accident in 1988. Still call her Mum on birthdays, Mothers Day etc.
She was 5 days younger than me. We always said we'd do a double 21st. She only made it to 19
Miss you, Tracey.
Sofia Murat 1 year ago
I think it was important for the author herself. They could both talk about Tracy and share memories. Its a good thing for both of them.
Load More Replies... Celtic Pirate Queen 1 year ago
My son's ex girlfriend is basically my other daughter. She was a part of our family for over 15 years. Just because my son's an a*s doesn't mean I am letting this darling girl out of my life. She turned 44 today, I sent her a card & a gift. I still speak with her at least 3 times a month.
Seadog 1 year ago
My brothers girlfriend when he died suddenly in 74. I'd go by her house and see her mom as she was off to college by then. As time goes on, I stopped going. When my mom died in 21 I found a letter from the girlfriends mom to my mom and she talked about how much she enjoyed my visits. I had no idea. Makes me sad even now that I stopped going. Havn't seen the girlfriend since the 70's. Mom did run into her once in the late 2000's. I've been in touch with some of their class members and no one knows where she is or how to get in touch with her.
“Prioritizing self-care, revisiting positive memories, and leaning on your support network can help you navigate this challenging period,” reads one therapy website. It's not unusual for friendships to end. Friends will come and go throughout our lives. But when a friend becomes like family, it's a different story altogether. So it goes without saying that some friendships will take longer to get over than others.
#10
I got tired of it being all about her all of the time. I couldn't tell her anything in my life good
or bad because she would make it about herself.
Lynn Donovan 1 year ago
The same happened to me. We spent all college years talking about anything but serious stuff. She was very childish and fixated on a lot of weird things but I indulged her, because she was younger than me. When I had a burnout, she made it all about herself somehow. The straw that broke the camel back: we were hanging out at my place and I received a call from my partner. His grandmother had just passed. I was distraught and told my friend. Her answer? "Oh my god, it's my fault !" She had this weird thing going where she thought somebody she knew would die every year during her birthday month. No, she never met my partner's grandmother but still, it was her fault and she made it all about her. I told her I was driving her home (she didn't drive) so I could be with my partner. I ghosted her after that. I keep thinking about her sometimes and realized that she may have been on the spectrum and I felt guilty but I never found the courage to reconnect.
Angela Jester 1 year ago
I'm going through this now. Cutting the tie after almost 30 years is *hard*
Huddo's sister 1 year ago
This happened with one of my uni friends. The whole group noticed she was doing this and we all cut contact. I might not have been as drastic, but the last time we caught up she made a particularly cutting remark in between talking about all her worries. She wouldn't even let the two of the group who are mothers talk about their kids without acting like they weren't important.
#11
Eh he stole my idea and took the credit. A*****e didn't even admit it to me. He got hit by a bus tho, and I lost my bus driving licence.
Jane Jayne Jain Jeign Jein 1 year ago
When I die I want to go peacefully in my sleep like my Grandpa, not screaming in terror like his passengers.
#12
He k*lled himself. i often go and meet up with his little brother and we play with his toy cars. i think it takes my mind off it as much as his.
"After losing a friend, allow yourself to grieve as you would for a family member," adds the site. "While some may not view the loss of friendship as equivalent to more accepted forms of grief, your experience is valid. Permitting yourself time and space to heal is essential.”
#13
I moved out of our apartment when I got tired of his boyfriend doing nothing but play League of Legends all day long. I was the one paying for the internet and transferred it to my new apartment, and decided not to share the login information so they could use the crappy xfinity open internet, and apparently that's all it took. From that moment on I was the enemy.
I learned my lesson in just how little I was valued in that friendship.
Nimitz 1 year ago
Omg, I had this exact thing happen with a roommate. Guy moved in with us, didn't work, played LOL, Fortnite, and Overwatch all day every day. After 4 months of him not paying bills I changed the wifi passwords and specifically identified his devices and banned their MAC addresses on the modem. He went from saying I was one of his best friends to claiming I tricked him into moving in with us and was a lying manipulative piece of s**t. He was my roommate's best friend and I never asked him to move in with us. When he finally had to move back in with his mom he cut the coax cable to the house to ruin our internet. Took me about 5 minutes to fix it
#14
Codependency. I became basically obsessed with her and it just became too toxic. I had to cut it off because it was eating me up inside and she didn’t deserve how I was treating her.
Eevi 1 year ago
Hundred times the same. It was around my wedding (she being the maid of honor) when I realized how toxic it was indeed got. She insisted we all would go to the town she lives about 200km away to plan my wedding, which was going to be in my city where also the other people of the wedding party lived. When I refused she acted so martyrious and mean I just told her that I think it would be best if she just came to the wedding as quest, if this was going to be so hard for her to arrange (I had offered everything, like Teams-meating or something, but she insisted we should go to her place). She threw a huge temper tantrum, basically saying I never meant anything to her and I'm being a tital b***h. She bever came to my wedding, even tho I tried to keep in contact prior to that. After the wedding, I just deleted her from every social media and didin't contact her again. She tried to call me about 2 months later, but I ignored the call and texted her that I wish her all to best, but I think our friendship is done. She replied "yeah that is why i was calling, so no hard feelings, yea." We were best friends my whole life since I was 4, and she was 6. I was the godmother of her firstborn and still think about her every day even tho me and my hubby just celebrated our 5 year old marriage. So sad. And it's so liberating to be out of that toxic relationship.
#15
I realized that I’m always the first one reaching out.. I stopped messaging them to see if they’d notice or try to reach out to me.. well it’s been two years.
Upstaged75 1 year ago
This is literally the exact same thing that happened to me. We were best friends since 5th grade. I was a bridesmaid in her wedding. She lives far away but I know she visits her family for the holidays - in the same town where I live. One year she just didn't reach out when she was here. So I decided to see how long it would take if I didn't contact her first. It's been over 2 years now. I've stopped caring. There are other people in my life who actually want to be there.
Susan Ciochetto 1 year ago
Happened to me too. Just figured we weren't as good of friends as I thought.
Trish Christoffersen 1 year ago
Yeah...that happens to a lot of us. Some "friends for life" turn into Facebook friends when they move...and then you never hear from them again.
Sven Horlemann 1 year ago
100% my wifes and my experiences, with our "friends" from our past. Just disappointing.
Sometimes you might think you've healed and moved on, only to be triggered by something that breaks your heart all over again. Birthdays, holidays, or even places could cause sadness. You should try plan ahead for those circumstances if you can. So that you're better able to manage your emotions.
If you ever feel like you can't cope, it's best to seek professional help from a therapist. Have you ever gone through a bad break-up with a bestie? What did you do to help you cope? Let us know in the comments.
#16
His wife tried to sleep with me. I didn’t let it happen and I told him about it. They reconciled and had more kids, then it got weird whenever I was around so we drifted apart.
Cooking Panda 1 year ago
Having kids doesn't fix your relationship. If anything, they add to the burden
Saphyre Fyre 1 year ago
You need a license to drive, but anyone can create innocent new human beings that will be raised with severely flawed thinking parents. SMH!
Zoe 1 year ago
Where I live, you need to have a fishing license. And for many other secondary things in life. I wonder if it will ever, anywhere in the world, be necessary to solve a carefully composed psycho test, of course by experts.
Load More Replies... #17
Best friend is gay. Known him for about 35 years. Marries a woman who is a total religious psycho. She even lied to him for years about her age before they married. Always tells him what to do and he’s the type who can’t say no. She finds gay porn on his phone and makes him delete all social media, cut off ties to everyone he knows (outside of family), get STD tested, confess to their preacher and his parents, makes him get a new phone and puts tracking software on it.
I haven’t seen or heard from him in nearly a year and have no idea how to contact him. He should have never kept secrets from her, but he should have never married her in the first place. I wish there was something I could do.
Wendy McMaster 1 year ago
No one forced him to marry a woman , his life ,his choices … He is a grown man ,living his life …You don’t have ti like it or agree …
Zoe 1 year ago
In this post,the problem is called "I miss my best friend,but I don't know how to reach him." It's weird, but the fact is that OP's biggest problem is that his friend has allowed to his wife to cut him off from the rest of the world. He allowed it, but it won't last forever. One day, this man will have too much of all the things he suffered because of his own cowardice. I think that at some point the OP will be able to decide whether he even wants such a friend who is not able to say NO. Everyone is unhappy here.
Load More Replies... #18
He stayed up all night putting finishing touches on a senior term paper in high school. The deadline for the paper was unforgiving and at least one person missed the deadline every year. Paper was worth 50% of the term grade. He was a smart guy, top 5 in a class of 500.
Anyway, he didn’t show up at school the next day. Around mid day they announced his death due to a traffic accident on his way to school.
I’m not sure he was my best friend though he was a very good friend, but I’m pretty sure I was his best friend. Good guy, lousy ending. RIP RC.
#19
Best friends since we were 12.
Best Man at my wedding when we were 28.
Day after the wedding he never spoke to me again.
No explanation. Calls and texts went unanswered.
He would avoid being at any social event I would be at, which was a few because we had the same circle of friends.
Tried for two years to keep that friendship alive.
Sue User 1 year ago
My thoughts were spouse hit on him and he couldnt face OP.
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S P1 1 year ago
This more or less happened to me. His partner didn't like me and I'm pretty sure she gave him an ultimatum. We came back from a 6 hour drive due to the snow. We had plans to go to the pub that night but he said he just needed to pop home quickly. Never saw him or heard from him ever again. Best friends all through secondary school and 8 years afterwards. Finished just like that with no explanation.
Donna Peluda 1 year ago (edited)
I had a childhood friend, as we got into are early 20s we didn't see mucho of eachother working in different cities. I still considered him a good friend. Went for a one day to catch up. He told me he was going to break it of with his GF of 6 years because she was dragging him down and a bore. I bumped into his brother a week later and he said see you at the wedding, What wedding I asked? My Brother's, aren't you invited?
Jane Doe 1 year ago
whoa. Cliffhanger. Did they get married? Was he ever strong enough to say how he felt?
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Jacob B. 1 year ago
Friend of mine who got married way before the rest of our social group once said to me "All of you just disappeared on me, I was willing to still hang out". I said "The hell you were, we were going to clubs for one night stands, getting drunk off our rear ends, hitting strip clubs and so on, you think after you got married we were going to bring you to something like that?".
ENSJ 1 year ago
To be fair, being willing to hang out does not have to mean hitting strip clubs, getting drunk etc. You can find other activities you enjoy doing with the married friend and still do the other stuff in your own time.
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Dawnieangel76 1 year ago
My childhood best friend went off to college, forgot how to use a phone or snail mail. My teenage/early 20's best friend got married, moved out of state, also forgot how to use a phone, OR a computer. Third & last best friend, out of the blue after 15+ years of friendship, emailed to say she "wasn't interested in being friends anymore". No explanation, no follow up. Been alone for almost 16 years now, and it's better than anticipating the next abandonment.
#20
I’m a Leo. My freind saw a STUPID A*S ZODIAC TIKTOKER saying that Leo’s are the most dangerous to be freinds with. Bam. Gone. M.i.a.
Binky Melnik 1 year ago
No, it’s an idiot. How maddening to discover you’ve loved an absolute moron. 🤬
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Elio 1 year ago
For real. Everyone shares a birthday with MILLIONS of other people, including people born on February 29. And western zodiac signs cover a one month period, so that's even more people. No way those "predictions" apply to that many people. If someone wants to know my birthday and I am not close to them, I always ask, "astrology nuttet or person who is trying to commit identity theft?"
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R Sravanthi 1 year ago
Well, even for a person who believes in astrology, they should know that according to the zodiac, Leos are one of the most loyal friends.
HangryHangryHippo 1 year ago
My BFF is a Leo. Friends since 92' and still going strong even living 10000 kilometers away. Love her to bits!
Fight Hypocrites 1 year ago
We are the most dangerous to be friends with because when you say/do stupid s**t like that, we smite you with a mighty paw. Then we stop being friends with you.
#21
He slapped my girlfriend.
John Mosley 1 year ago
They didn't check for a pulse, too busy digging the hole.
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Hassel Davidhoff 1 year ago
Yep, then dig a pretty deep hole. Been meaning to build a new deck out the back anyway.
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#22
My ex wife. Even after we split we stayed close, co-parenting, helping each other out. She died 3.5 years ago. I could have made peace I think but after her death and our daughter was living with me full time I found out about how abusive my ex had been to her when I was around and it felt like losing her all over. Like I thought I knew who she was in the 13 years we'd had both together and separated, but it turns out I knew nothing. Now I'm just angry about it, like how dare you get to do this s**t and then leave me to clean up your mess. How dare you have peace when my daughter has nothing but struggles and therapy. I fele like we were robbed of the good person, the good mother I thought she was.
Ciaran McK 1 year ago
As hard as it seems its best to let that stuff go and concentrate fully on your daughter which it seems you are doing anyway. Best of luck to you both going forward
Rayne OfSalt 1 year ago
"let it go" <-- fantastic advice, Elsa. He should probably "cheer up" too, right?
Load More Replies... #23
He married a girl who was a psychology major and she used that major to manipulate and control him. When they had a kid she was threatening him daily to take their daughter and leave forever if he so much as texted his friends. Its been about four years now and I miss the guy, but the poor sap made his decisions and I constantly wonder how miserable he is.
meeeeeeeeeeee 1 year ago
You don't need a pyschology degree to work out how to threaten people
Auntriarch 1 year ago (edited)
You absolutely don't, but where is comes in useful is when you are persuading third parties that your victim is the problem. Ask my poor brother
Load More Replies... Dread Pirate Roberts 1 year ago (edited)
He sure married one evil skank. I'm worried most for their daughter
#24
I was six months pregnant at the time and all I could think was "do I really have the bandwidth to take care of two babies?" I haven't spoken to her since
Ziggle 1 year ago
My interpretation is I'm guessing maybe the friend was a big needy baby and now that she had a real baby on the way, she had to let the grown baby go because she couldn't handle both.
Load More Replies... #25
Honestly, they just expected more out of me than I was capable of giving. Just blurred lines and unrealistic expectations.
Orwell 1 year ago
As someone on the receiving end, this sucks. After 30 years of sharing, and several of giving every bit of emotional and financial support I could, when I had a complete breakdown, she was too busy 'cleaning her house' to even respond to my calls and messages. It's wrong to bail on people when things get hard.
Jan Moore 1 year ago
I had a breakdown at work and ended up on the psych ward for a week with severe depression. I considered one of my co-workers my best friend. She never called me or even asked my husband about me, we worked in the same hospital, I did run into her It's funny, she had to take a stress leave several years prior to that and she said hi in a very awkward manner, nothing more than how are you and left quickly, you'd think she would understand better.
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#26
I met him on Fortnite, then we found out we only lived an hour away from each other's houses. He was my best friend for 2 years, then sadly he died from a car accident involving a moose.
HARRY KOPPERS 1 year ago
moose are tall enough that a car will just knock their legs out and you'll have 1200 pounds of animal come through the windshield.
#27
I finally realised she'd been treating me like s**t for years and I deserved better.
#28
She passed away aged 26.
Cancer's a b***h.
Edit: thanks everyone. My friend was the best person in the world. Was lucky to have her in my life even if that time was cut short. Sorry to anyone else who's had to deal with the loss of someone to cancer. Here's hoping that one day there will be a cure.
Also thanks for the silver. No idea what that actually means but appreciate it nevertheless (:.
DuckDuckGooseberry 1 year ago
It wasn't cancer, but I lost a very close friend suddenly a couple of years ago. It feels like the sparkle left my life then, it hasn't come back yet. The world feels a bit more grey... I'm not sad all the time or anything, but there's a definite difference looking at "me before" and "me now"
#29
No idea. He slowly stopped answering calls, texts, emails.... his wife, even more so. I'd occasionally stop by to see them and everything appeared to be OK. They never stopped to see us, even though his mother lived just a few miles away. I just quit trying.
The Cute Cat 1 year ago
A friend in need is a friend indeed. It is hard to keep up friendship when we have no similar thing to do..
#30
F*ck that b!!!
She stopped talking to me because I confronted her about the ways she was abusing my friendship.
I let her move in with me because she said she was in dire straits with her husband, even though my house was already crowded. She moved in, and would just party every weekend.
She would try to win over my friends, by embarrassing me in front of them.
I could go on and on, I’m so happy she’s out of my life!!
#31
No jokes.This guy was always naive as hell and I accepted it.But one day he asked me to talk with him without phones on street.Warning,dumbest part starts,he said that his grandma told him that he is Stalin grandson.Then he said he wants ro start a revolution against Putin and he wants me to participate in that.I refused,and he stoped being my friend.(Sorry for my bad english,as you could understand,Im from Russia)
P.S about the phones part.He thout goverment can listen to us through them and get rid of him if they hear the revolution part.
Agat 1 year ago (edited)
If only more people were like this dude. A revolution against Putin is long overdue, and they aren't doing anything.
Tara Moov 1 year ago
To date, Russia's full-scale invasion of Ukraine has resulted in 33,000 civilian casualties, including many thousands of children. He's a monster who keeps handing himself and his oligarch cronies power to the detriment of the Russian people he lies to and jails for questioning propaganda. Anyone downvoting you, Agat, or defending Putin is probably a Russian bot. Here's hoping good will prevail over evil.
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Kathrin Pukowsky 1 year ago
Sounds more like the onset of a mental illness, what with being Stalin's grandson. Not sure whom I'd call the naive one, though, seeing how much suffering Putin causes not only for others, but also for his own people. However, I also don't have the necessary level of idealism to start or join a revolution that will most likely result in my death along the way, so yeah. I get why OP wasn't interested in joining.
Major Harris 1 year ago
stalin's actual grand daughter lives here in portland, oregon. she is a buddhist who owns an antique store. yes, this is her! LOL! C__Data_Us...26bf2c.jpg 
Pferdchen 1 year ago
Well, he's not wrong about the government being able to listen part. It certainly seems that Russia can eliminate dissenters, too. Here in America, people that attempt to overthrow the government get to run for re-election :-(
Donna Peluda 1 year ago (edited)
I would be careful talking around any electronics if I was planning a military coup.
Mel Colley 1 year ago
Have you ever talked about a product i.e diapers, cars etc and suddenly you're getting ads via emails, internet? I don't think the man was wrong about people are listening to your conversation via mobile phone.
Ormond Otvos 1 year ago
see "1420" in youtube. real interviews. Russians are terrified of the gov.
Seadog 1 year ago
Government listen? Yes, they can if they know whose phone to listen to. Your phone is always listening. I've proven it countless times and I don't even use voice commands on my phone. I can be at work talking to a customer and mention a product and that evening at least 1/2 the pop up ads will be for any product by that name. My phone is in no way attached or associated with our work system and we don't use voice commands at work either. Ergo, the phone was listening.
#32
He got married, and she doesn't allow him to hang out with anyone without her.
Ralph Kretschmer 1 year ago
Had a very good friend, we met every two weeks although he lived in another town. Then he came together with this girl, who was part of my friends circle in university. He moved to Heidelberg, where I lived. But she controlled him, never let him meet me alone. So one day, on a picknick, I had a walk with him alone, talking about the situation. When we came back after maybe half an hour, the other friends told us she'd been furious, running through the park searching for us.... after a year or so, they separated, but our friendship never recovered.
Huddo's sister 1 year ago
My friend's ex-husband did that. Thank God she got out before they had kids. Her second husband saw the abuse and helped to get her out. Unfortunately he ended up cheating on her so he is now an ex too.
#33
Best friend/ love of my life. She took her own life and left me, month before we had a miscarriage and it took a toll on her mental and her demons just got the best of her. Can’t wait to see her and my unborn child after this.
WindySwede 1 year ago
User is deleted, and this was 3 years ago. Only one follow up comment, which makes your comment very valid!
Load More Replies... Binky Melnik 1 year ago
I’m hoping like crazy it’s something to do with religion and the afterlife. (Geez; this is a first, hoping that someone is religious!)
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#34
He stole from uh...everyone.
He took my money twice, once straight up taking the whole a*s wallet too. On another occasion he wanted to "borrow" my Gameboy Color and my extra copy of Pokemon Yellow. Important detail is the quotes around borrow. M**********r never brought it back, probably never played it.
Supposedly he did s**t like this for d***s. But on other occasions he has stolen things just for the f**k of it, so who knows.
I was not the only victim.
Bec 1 year ago
Guy I dated had a friend/ roommate like this. He lost more than one job where he was suspected of stealing, ended up screwing his friends over on rent, and stole some checks from one of them. Guess we were all pretty young and naive at first and believed his side about losing the jobs, eventually we got burned
Dread Pirate Roberts 1 year ago (edited)
Sounds like kleptomania on top of addiction. Pretty messed up...
#35
Sudden brain aneurysm at 42.
Steve Robert 1 year ago
I lost my soulmate exactly the same way. We had know each other since I was ten and she was eight. Last thing she said to me was " You know I've always loved you.". Went to bed and she never woke up. But every day I say those last words.
Upstaged75 1 year ago
That happened to a friend of mine too. She was 40 and had a 5 year old kid. :(
Rayne OfSalt 1 year ago
Happened to the best friend of an ex of mine. Age 26, walked into her mum's kitchen, said "hi mum" and dropped dead.
#36
She went through a terrible depression and processing severe trauma, and I didn't understand how to truly support her.
I hope to be in touch with her again so I can apologize. Completely lost contact.
Lyoness 1 year ago
I really hope they keep trying. I've been on the other side and being abandoned by your friends because they don't know what to say is horrific.
Gypsy Lee 1 year ago
It is horrific. Sorry you went through that - nobody deserves to be treated like that.
Load More Replies... Ariadne Toms 1 year ago
Keep trying. As someone who has had this done to me....if you say what u just said to her it would be amazing for her
#37
Her boyfriend hit on me quite aggressively and I told her and she didn't believe me until he did it to another one of her friends a few months later.
Wyndmere 1 year ago
Never is the woman's fault that a man chooses to hit her.
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Sofia Murat 1 year ago
This is not normal. It does not matter if a girl or boy did this, either way it's not okay and is a reason to end the relationship.
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#38
Got them a job at the place I worked for a long time. They made him a supervisor and it went to his head. Worst mistake I had made in a long time.
Zoe 1 year ago
Oh, that was never your friend. You can do much, much better than in those HS years. :)
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Mick Perger 1 year ago
I recommended my best friend for a job as a trainee. After a couple of months, he made a real d**k of himself by slacking off, not turning up for work and trying to do things he had no idea what he was doing. I ended up copping a lot of flak because I recommended him.
#39
I took her for granted. I figured that she would always be there. I wasn’t taking care of myself and I didn’t see how that was impacting her. She left because of it. We were in love but we were also each other’s best friend. I wish I didn’t lose her but it’s taught me so much about myself that I’m glad she did it. I’m doing really well now. I wish things could have been different but I wouldn’t have learned any other way. The hard road is s****y but it can be the best way to grow as a person.
#40
Caught him sleeping with my girlfriend of 4 years.
#41
He passed away in a car accident in 2019 right before his first college football game, the only best friend i truly had. i was about to travel to his school to see him play..then i got the call that he passed.
#42
This was back when we where 13 or so
She wanted me to drop stuff I liked to do because it was to nerdy. Being involved with the scouts, reading, drawing all not cool apparently
We went to different high schools and she was embarrassed of me with her new friends.
I did not do that and I haven't seen her in years. We spend pretty much our whole childhood together.
#43
Every conversation and activity was them-centric. When I had a bad day, they would turn it to a story about themself; they wouldn't want to go for a hike but would goad me into paying $40 to see a (s****y) play; they had a crush on every opp-sex friend of ours and got upset if I hung out with the friends solo.
I told them a very gentle version of that after having been best friends for about 7 years and their reply was "Nope, I don't do that.".
#44
Friend moved to the other side of the planet, with their spouse, to be nearer to both their families. I never understood what real friendship was before friend was in my life; and now they're alive, but not here.
Sue User 1 year ago
Whatsapp is good for friends far away. I have had movie night with someone 6000 miles away.
Kirsti-Tina Thompson 1 year ago
My bestie moved to the other side of the world too. I feel your pain.
#45
He became a conspiracy theorist. I called him out on the horse s**t and told me to "F**k off! I don't want to talk to you, I don't want to see you! I'M F****N' DONE WITH YOU!!".
#46
I’d say I’ve had three “best friends” I’ve lost over my lifetime.
First one: I was the a*****e.
Second one: He was the a*****e.
Third one: Just drifted apart as our lives went our separate ways.
#47
Slowly everybody just grew apart.
Ciaran McK 1 year ago
Thats a very common one id say. We all end up married/having kids etc and that takes over our whole life at that point. Sad in a way but nothing lasts forever i guess
Dread Pirate Roberts 1 year ago
Random sidenote: that photo is giving me Renaissance painting kinds of vibes for some reason.
#48
Our parents got married for 3 years and then they divorced and now i don't have a best friend 🥲.
Sofia Murat 1 year ago
Perhaps they are in high school and their parents don't let them? Or they grew up, but don't know where the other is. Its probably very complicated.
Load More Replies... #49
Well, we just stopped talking. I guess I was a toxic guy and took her for granted.
Honestly, she listened to everything I just said and I barely asked how she was. And the main problem was that it was covid times so no meeting. I mean even if it weren't covid, she lived in an entirely different city. But ya, she was an extroverted person and liked to talk. We just never talked on the phone cause I really felt uncomfortable calling anyone but my dad. But when she did call me, we would talk for hours like literally 1 or 2 hours. And I would just be a s**t guy and just never bother to ask how she is or if everything is fine I did but I would forget stuff. Once I learned from my mistakes, she just stopped talking to me.
She constantly tried to pull me out of my comfort zone and be the most therapeutic friend possible, Praising me for everything i did. And I am not gonna lie, the second part is more true than the first one.
I actually have a constant reminder of her on me so I will never forget her. I have this small fine scar on my right hand that, she accidentally scratched me with her long nail. I thought it would heal but I never thought it would leave a mark. It did. I guess in a way even she did.
#50
He was already passed out drunk himself so he likely didn't feel anything, but it was still such a terrible senseless way to go. That was 10 years ago last June. He was barely 21, the nicest guy you'd ever meet, and one hell of a bassist. Miss ya, Jake
IDK_Something 1 year ago
This one confused me so I followed the link and found this: "Similar story here. He was the passenger in a single-car accident. The driver was drunk, showing off, and drifting on an unfamiliar dirt road in California. They found the car at the bottom of a 70-foot cliff. Everyone in the car walked away except my friend, who died instantly. He was already passed out drunk himself so he likely didn’t feel anything, but it was still such a terrible senseless way to go. That was 10 years ago last June. He was barely 21, the nicest guy you’d ever meet, and one hell of a bassist. Miss ya, Jake."
What do you think ?
Keith Lancaster 1 year ago
I was nineteen and very depressed. I told what I thought was my best friend that I was Gay and asked him not to tell anybody. He told everybody we knew and suddenly I had no friends at all. He tried to contact me on FB a couple of years ago as though nothing had happened. Don't think so, mate.
DC 1 year ago
None of these were your friends, actually. Let me have a guess ... strictly religious environment, with all the bigotry and sweeping-under that just seems to come naturally with it...?
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J. Maxx 1 year ago
I was a newcomer to the friend group. Gregory was a charismatic, fantastic sweetie that everyone loved. Greg had HIV that turned into AIDS about a year into my being a part of the group. Everyone else had known each other for years. When Gregory was in the hospital the first time, he told his doctor, nurse me, and my best friend that should he get to the hospice stage, he wanted to die at my home. I was floored and a little overcome but so touched. I was living at home with my Mom, sister, and stepfather. All knew Greg, and all agreed that if he needed hospice, he was very welcome to come to our home. One of his oldest friends found out and called his estranged family. A family that Gregory had had no contact with (due to them throwing him out when he was barely a teen due to him being Gay) in many, many years. Gregory was furious, and the next thing I knew, I was shut out. Greg died alone in the hospital.
Kombatbunni 1 year ago
He had plenty of time for his gaming friends but no spare time to see me, for the last five years. This year I quit trying and said see ya later. Almost 20 years of friendship ended, right before my birthday :(
Pheolei 1 year ago
I walked away from religion and because of that she thought I had no morals? A different friend she was to toxic and was ruining my relationship with my husband and lastly I found out this "friend" was talking behind my back and hated the people I care about the most. I have a very bad habit of picking out friends who are similar to family members that has caused a lot of trauma growing up.
KillerKiwi 1 year ago
Yeah generally people who leave their religion eat orphans. But seriously, I hate it when people just assume that since you’re not religious/as religious as they are that it means you have no morals. My mom deals with this a lot where we live due to the large population of Mormons. She’s got a pixie cut and doesn’t dress like Mormon women, and they like to automatically assume they know her just based on her looks and that she isn’t a Mormon. Sorry this happened to you
Load More Replies... Captive 1 year ago
When I was studying I met this dude and we became best friends. After a year he changed so much. He got jealous of the female attention that I was getting instead of him since he was used to that before me. He became straight toxic. Gave him a chance and told him but eventually cut him off
Lyoness 1 year ago
My exbf & I bitterly parted ways last year. In the years prior to this she struggled with health issues, kid issues, daddy issues and infidelity (on her part). As much as she'd let me I was there for her, bringing over meals, listening, talking her husband down when he wanted to leave her. Then last year I struggled myself. I live with a mental illness and it was particularly bad, my father was diagnosed with cancer and I discovered my partner had been unfaithful. All I asked was for her to listen. She said I was "too negative" and that she didn't see the point in listening if I wasn't going to take her advice. Oh, and she claimed I was "giving in" to my disorder because I chose therapy, medication and a sabbatical instead of "just dealing with it" like she did (though she'd never been diagnosed with anything). And then she was surprised when I didn't want to see her when she said she was "entitled" to my time so she could explain why I was wrong to block her. Screw you Mel.
Courtney Christelle 1 year ago
The final nail in the coffin, when I realized our friendship was over, was when he got married and didn’t even tell me. I saw the pictures in Facebook. We had been friends literally our whole lives.
JC R. 1 year ago (edited)
After 18 years (we were practically sisters) and me being there (almost daily) to help raise her two kids after a bad break up with her abusive husband, she met a guy and forgot our friendship existed. She didn't want to introduce me to him. I initiated more than one discussion about when i would meet him...but nope. After 8 months of them dating, she decided to move to another city to be with him. This move forced a meeting and he said something inappropriate to me. When she and I spoke about it, she said it was my fault because I didn't do anything, like "invite him to a movie with her kids and I" to get to know him during those 8 months, so of course he was uncomfortable and was just trying to get to know me. She protected him and somehow made me the bad guy. Four weeks later she moved. Her kids are older so I still have a relationship with them. It's been 2 years and I wish I didn't miss her anymore, but she was family. I wish her all the best.
Keith Lancaster 1 year ago
I was nineteen and very depressed. I told what I thought was my best friend that I was Gay and asked him not to tell anybody. He told everybody we knew and suddenly I had no friends at all. He tried to contact me on FB a couple of years ago as though nothing had happened. Don't think so, mate.
DC 1 year ago
None of these were your friends, actually. Let me have a guess ... strictly religious environment, with all the bigotry and sweeping-under that just seems to come naturally with it...?
Load More Replies... J. Maxx 1 year ago
I was a newcomer to the friend group. Gregory was a charismatic, fantastic sweetie that everyone loved. Greg had HIV that turned into AIDS about a year into my being a part of the group. Everyone else had known each other for years. When Gregory was in the hospital the first time, he told his doctor, nurse me, and my best friend that should he get to the hospice stage, he wanted to die at my home. I was floored and a little overcome but so touched. I was living at home with my Mom, sister, and stepfather. All knew Greg, and all agreed that if he needed hospice, he was very welcome to come to our home. One of his oldest friends found out and called his estranged family. A family that Gregory had had no contact with (due to them throwing him out when he was barely a teen due to him being Gay) in many, many years. Gregory was furious, and the next thing I knew, I was shut out. Greg died alone in the hospital.
Kombatbunni 1 year ago
He had plenty of time for his gaming friends but no spare time to see me, for the last five years. This year I quit trying and said see ya later. Almost 20 years of friendship ended, right before my birthday :(
Pheolei 1 year ago
I walked away from religion and because of that she thought I had no morals? A different friend she was to toxic and was ruining my relationship with my husband and lastly I found out this "friend" was talking behind my back and hated the people I care about the most. I have a very bad habit of picking out friends who are similar to family members that has caused a lot of trauma growing up.
KillerKiwi 1 year ago
Yeah generally people who leave their religion eat orphans. But seriously, I hate it when people just assume that since you’re not religious/as religious as they are that it means you have no morals. My mom deals with this a lot where we live due to the large population of Mormons. She’s got a pixie cut and doesn’t dress like Mormon women, and they like to automatically assume they know her just based on her looks and that she isn’t a Mormon. Sorry this happened to you
Load More Replies... Captive 1 year ago
When I was studying I met this dude and we became best friends. After a year he changed so much. He got jealous of the female attention that I was getting instead of him since he was used to that before me. He became straight toxic. Gave him a chance and told him but eventually cut him off
Lyoness 1 year ago
My exbf & I bitterly parted ways last year. In the years prior to this she struggled with health issues, kid issues, daddy issues and infidelity (on her part). As much as she'd let me I was there for her, bringing over meals, listening, talking her husband down when he wanted to leave her. Then last year I struggled myself. I live with a mental illness and it was particularly bad, my father was diagnosed with cancer and I discovered my partner had been unfaithful. All I asked was for her to listen. She said I was "too negative" and that she didn't see the point in listening if I wasn't going to take her advice. Oh, and she claimed I was "giving in" to my disorder because I chose therapy, medication and a sabbatical instead of "just dealing with it" like she did (though she'd never been diagnosed with anything). And then she was surprised when I didn't want to see her when she said she was "entitled" to my time so she could explain why I was wrong to block her. Screw you Mel.
Courtney Christelle 1 year ago
The final nail in the coffin, when I realized our friendship was over, was when he got married and didn’t even tell me. I saw the pictures in Facebook. We had been friends literally our whole lives.
JC R. 1 year ago (edited)
After 18 years (we were practically sisters) and me being there (almost daily) to help raise her two kids after a bad break up with her abusive husband, she met a guy and forgot our friendship existed. She didn't want to introduce me to him. I initiated more than one discussion about when i would meet him...but nope. After 8 months of them dating, she decided to move to another city to be with him. This move forced a meeting and he said something inappropriate to me. When she and I spoke about it, she said it was my fault because I didn't do anything, like "invite him to a movie with her kids and I" to get to know him during those 8 months, so of course he was uncomfortable and was just trying to get to know me. She protected him and somehow made me the bad guy. Four weeks later she moved. Her kids are older so I still have a relationship with them. It's been 2 years and I wish I didn't miss her anymore, but she was family. I wish her all the best.
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