Man Learns “In Sickness And In Health” Is A Lie When His Fiancée Prioritizes Coffee Over His Misery

The “in sickness” part of the vows is the real test of a relationship. It’s easy to be a good partner when everything is sunshine and roses. The true measure of a person’s character is how they react when you’re a disgusting, feverish, snot-producing mess who needs soup and sympathy.

Most partners rise to the occasion, becoming a Florence Nightingale of comfort and care. And then there are the ones who see your suffering as a minor inconvenience to their morning coffee routine. For one man, a bad case of the flu revealed a side of his fiancée he had never seen before, and it was not pretty.

More info: Reddit

The “in sickness” part of the vows is a test not every relationship is prepared to pass

Couple on the beach during sunset, man holding cooler, woman holding bottle, highlighting sickness and health themes.

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A man was violently ill after a trip and asked his fiancée for the small favor of going to get him some medicine

Man feeling neglected and sick while fiancée prioritizes coffee, challenging the idea of in sickness and in health.

Text excerpt showing a man experiencing sickness during a trip, highlighting challenges of in sickness and in health.

Man feeling sick at home while fiancée prioritizes coffee, revealing challenges in sickness and health commitment.

Man experiences misery as fiancée prioritizes coffee, challenging the meaning of in sickness and in health vows.

Man sitting on bed in pajamas holding his stomach in pain, depicting sickness and relationship struggles.

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She responded by questioning his urgency and then continued her leisurely morning routine for hours while he suffered

Screenshot of a text message where a man asks his fiancée to buy Imodium and drinks due to his dehydration.

Text excerpt about fiancée prioritizing coffee over man's misery, highlighting sickness and relationship challenges.

Man realizes in sickness and in health is a lie as fiancée chooses coffee over his misery and care.

Man upset as fiancée prioritizes coffee over his sickness, realizing in sickness and in health is a lie.

Man holds stomach in pain while fiancée looks upset, highlighting sickness and health challenges in relationships.

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Fed up and dehydrated, he signed up for DoorDash and had the medicine delivered himself

Man learns in sickness and in health is a lie as fiancée chooses coffee over his misery and care.

Text message conversation showing someone saying their girlfriend's mom asked what a delivered item was, highlighting relationship tension.

Text excerpt showing a man explaining he ordered medicine online due to illness, highlighting relationship struggle over priorities.

Text showing a man questioning his relationship as his fiancée prioritizes coffee over his misery and sickness.

Man learns in sickness and in health is a lie as fiancée prioritizes coffee over his misery and needs.

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Her blatant lack of empathy has him questioning her character and the future of their relationship

A man was in the throes of a truly biblical flu bug he had caught on an overseas trip. He was so sick he had passed out at the airport, and every sip of water was a one-way ticket to a 15-minute bathroom exile. No man-flu could compare to this full-blown, medically verified state of misery. His one, desperate plea to his fiancée the next morning was just to please, go get me some Imodium and Gatorade.

“Do I need to go now?” she asked, a question that is, in itself, a relationship crime. He, trying not to be “pushy,” told her she could get ready first. She then proceeded to have a leisurely coffee, a long chat with her visiting mother, and a full breakfast, all while her fiancé was in the other room, presumably turning into a human raisin from dehydration.

After hours of this blatant neglect, with her mother now in the shower, he tried again, only to be snapped at. “Let me say good by to my mom, why didn’t you buy those at the airport yesterday?” At this point, five hours after his initial plea, he clung to desperation, signed up for DoorDash, and had the medicine delivered in 30 minutes.

In a bizarre twist, his mother-in-law saw the delivery and called out her own daughter’s selfishness. “You didn’t need to order online,” she said, “I could have gone to the store quick and picked it up!” After his 5-hour pepto-wait, he’s questioning his entire engagement, wondering if this “fundamental failure of support” is a red flag too big to ignore.

Sick man in bed looking upset, illustrating man learns in sickness and in health is a lie concept.

Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)

Empathy? Never heard of her! It might be a cornerstone of any healthy relationship, but it seems to be a one-way act in this one. Couples counselor Nicola Beer is of the opinion that a lack of empathy is a major red flag. Her question, “Do I need to go now?” to a man who was clearly in distress was a verbal confirmation that his suffering was simply not her priority.

People in the know call this a “relationship stress test,” an unexpected crisis that reveals a couple’s true vibe. The Couples Expert, a serious illness (or even a flu) is a moment that tests a couple’s ability to function as a team, requiring communication, sacrifice, and mutual support. The fiancée’s behavior was a catastrophic failure of this test, revealing that she is not a reliable partner in a crisis.

Saying that he “should have bought it at the airport” is an icky gaslighting technique. As explained by First Things, this kind of blame-shifting is a common tactic for someone who is unwilling to take responsibility for their own lack of compassion. She is attempting to reframe her own neglect as his failure to plan, a manipulative move that only makes her initial inaction even worse.

Questioning their entire engagement is a completely rational response. He is discovering a huge character flaw in a very inconvenient way. A partner who cannot show compassion when you are at your most vulnerable is demonstrating that they are not a safe or reliable partner. The five-hour wait for Pepto might become a lifetime of waiting for compassion.

Do you think he is being unreasonable? Share your thoughts in the comments below!

Netizens warned that cold indifference is a deal-breaker, and he should absolutely re-evaluate their future together

Screenshot of a Reddit conversation where a man questions his fiancée’s behavior amid his vulnerability and misery.

Reddit user advises against marrying someone who prioritizes coffee over partner’s misery, highlighting broken trust in sickness and health.

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Comment text in a Reddit thread showing a man learning in sickness and in health is a lie when fiancée prioritizes coffee over his misery.

Reddit comment advising a man about true relationships and prioritizing a good girlfriend over suffering in sickness and health.

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Man learns in sickness and in health is a lie as fiancée prioritizes coffee over his suffering and misery.

Alt text: Man learns in sickness and in health is a lie as fiancée prioritizes coffee over his serious health struggles and misery.

Man frustrated as fiancée prioritizes coffee over his misery, revealing truth about sickness and health promises.

Comment text on social media discussing red flags in a relationship when fiancée prioritizes coffee over partner’s distress.

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Man discovering relationship truth as fiancée prioritizes coffee over his illness and misery.

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Screenshot of an online comment criticizing a fiancée for prioritizing coffee over her partner's misery in sickness and health.

Comment on Reddit expressing sympathy for a man whose fiancée prioritized coffee over his sickness and misery.

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Screenshot of a Reddit comment about a man’s sickness and someone prioritizing coffee over his misery, highlighting relationship struggles.

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Alt text: Screenshot of a Reddit comment criticizing a fiancée for prioritizing coffee over her fiancé's suffering, highlighting relationship issues.

Man frustrated as fiancée prioritizes coffee over his misery, challenging the notion of in sickness and in health.

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