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We all make mistakes in life. Nobody’s perfect. What matters is how we react to our failures, whether we let them take root and turn into shame or regret, or learn from them and do better in the future. But not everyone learns at the same pace. In some cases, it takes a long while for the lesson to sink in.
The r/AskOldPeople online community on Reddit opened up about the mistakes they’d made past the age of 30, after being asked to share their regrets by user u/otherworldly_mirror. Read on to see what pitfalls to avoid in adult life.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Staying with my company over 15 years and being told I won’t be getting any raises going forward bc I’m at the top end of the range. It’s my biggest regret bc I thought (foolishly) loyalty meant something.
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 2 years ago
12 years at one job and never even came close to topping out. Topping out there was $50,000 per year. 12 years and I left at 18.50/hr.
Nicola Roberts 2 years ago
It's a global phenomenon. My brother in law has been with a company 18 years and receives minimum wage. He's a senior member of the team in a skilled job. The people making the decisions on pay have no conscience, and he should have had the confidence to go else where.
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Robert T 2 years ago
9 years in my current job. No pay rises in that time. My boss can be a real a-hole. The joys of being self-employed. ;-)
StrangeOne 2 years ago
I have a similar regret but managed to eventually get out of. I stayed with a company for just over a decade thinking no one would hire me, seeing the company's name on my resume, knowing everyone hates call centres and the people who work at them. For years I tried to convince myself that it wasn't that bad, how I'm lucky to have a job and a paycheque. When I actually started seriously looking for a new job, with the help of a job search organization, I finally landed a new one. I don't get paid any better, but at least I can sleep and live a bit easier, and feel a bit better about where I work so I'm not lying to everyone who asks.
Chickie 2 years ago
32 years on the job and one of my functions as the Public Relations Specialist/In House Trainer was planning retirement dinners and all company functions. I loved my job until a change in management. I put in for my retirement. Guess what? No retirement dinner. My husband said the following... "You either have integrity or you don't. Your management has none." That company is in my rear-view mirror and I don't look back.
Ima Manimal 2 years ago
In today’s world, company loyalty only benefits the company. Don’t set yourself on fire to keep the company warm.
Melissa Sawicki 2 years ago
Been there before. Was with the same company for approximately 15yrs. Have the company my blood, sweat, and tears. Worked my Butt off and was as loyal as they come. First time I left I was making $24.00 an hour back in 2004. Came back a few years later and stayed until September of 22 and left making $15.00 per hour and that was only because minimum wage was changing to 15 per hour. No one Thought I would move out of state and was forced out one I put my notice in after my surgery. Was only Part’s personal that did not make commission. They owned 7 dealers. That hurt me. I'm better off now
RELATED:
#2
Throwing myself into work and not being more present for my family. You can't ever get that time back.
Serial pacifist 2 years ago
True. Still struggling with it. You want and try to get some time for the things of real value, but capitalism just yanks you back into the grind.
Papa 2 years ago
I'm curious. I agree that capitalism needs some regulation, but what do you propose as an alternative?
Load More Replies... Papa 2 years ago
You have to find some balance between spending time with your family and spending time away from them to make money to take care of them. It's not always easy to do.
Chez2202 2 years ago
You could not have said this better. I have always worked full time even when my child was a baby because I had a good family who helped with childcare so that I could bring in the money to have a comfortable life. I don’t regret it but I never did overtime because that was my time with my family.
Load More Replies... StrangeOne 2 years ago
Health, happiness and family first, always. Companies don't care about your health, family and happiness. They will toss you out with yesterday's trash if they want to.
James016 2 years ago
The only people who will care or remember that you worked all those hours are your loved ones.
Papa 2 years ago
Sometimes they care and remember that you worked all those hours to provide for them.
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similarly 2 years ago
Unfortunately, the sad reality is that not everyone has the luxury of "work less and enjoy more time with your family". Especially when I was young, and my job not-so-secure, those long hours were necessary, not only to keep a roof over our heads and food on the table and put away for the future, but to ensure I had a job next year. As an old man with a secure job though, I tell younger people "Yeah! Take off from work! Go spend time with your family. Once your kids are grown up and gone, they're gone. Enjoy it while it lasts."
InfiniteZeek 2 years ago
This is why I work my wage. I do not do sub-par work, I do my work to the best standards it can possibly be, I just don't have loyalty to any company. You are paying x amount of money for x amount of my time, that is exactly what you will get; nothing less and certainly nothing more.
#3
Ignoring childhood trauma and pretending everything is okay instead of dealing with it. It just ends up controlling you and eats you up eventually.
Cecilia Herrera 2 years ago
When you can believe that, "It's okay to get counselling," then you can begin to heal with your counselor's help and support.
PolymathNecromancer 2 years ago
And this stuff can be buried or controlled enough that we can be totally unreceptive to the fact that it's actually running the show behind the scenes.
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 2 years ago
The only way I'll ever "deal" with my childhood abusers is reading their obituaries in the paper. There's one teacher and one principal I'm specifically thinking about.
StrangeOne 2 years ago
When those with unresolved childhood traumas have children, they'll mirror the same abusive treatment onto their kid. Maybe they'll control a bit of the physical abuse, but anything none physical will be their tool.
PolymathNecromancer 2 years ago
Unless somebody interrupts the chain by sifting through stuff, it will continue to be passed on. Especially emotional trauma, it actually rides along in heredity, and it's physically invisible, often silent, able to be suppressed until it isn't, and goddamn insidious. It's been studied in multiple small creatures. I used to call it 'emotional heredity' but it's a real scientific thing - epigenetics
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Vasana Phong 2 years ago
Met my husband 20 years ago, happy go lucky guy, every negative thrown at him he brushed it off and kept moving, now his childhood memories (bad ones) all crept up, lots of neglect from family members, his mom and her side, now he’s feeling it as an adult , I guess as you reflect on your life when you get older and your mind is more mature, it’s full blown and I do not think he knows how to handle it
PolymathNecromancer 2 years ago
I have learned that emotions are in their behavior exactly like currency. When you put them in the bank, especially unwanted ones, they earn interest. After decades, one has an 'emotional mortgage' that's underwater and willpower ceases to be effective. The only thing I have seen be effective most often is for us afflicted by emotional constipation to reverse habits and be in environments where folks lay everything out; talk about feelings, emotions, thoughts, events. The suppression seems to start innocently enough with not wanting to be a wet blanket, but eventually can morph into being completely inescapable. I encourage you to find and cultivate environments where you both can have nothing hidden in order to move the now-in-charge-of-everything shame/guilt/hurts/unresolved-issues into the light of day <3
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KatSaidWhat 2 years ago
A PTSD destroyed me for a while. My therapist said "weeds break through concrete" - and that has been the most enlightened thing about this whole process. I also throw that at people I know are being stoic.
Living a life with no regrets whatsoever is next to impossible. Feeling regret is a very human emotion. It means that we still probably haven’t learned the lessons we were meant to.
However, as consultant Tchiki Davis, Ph.D., writes on Psychology Today, research is quite clear on one thing. Broadly speaking, people most often regret not doing something rather than doing something. Taking that to heart, making a mistake and learning from it is far better than never having had the courage to try.
In some cases, however, it’s better to be prudent instead of rushing headlong into something risky. Whatever the case might be, ask yourself whether you’ll regret (not) doing something before you make a decision.
#4
Financed a new luxury model vehicle late in life that caused me to extend how long I worked before retirement. The $ would have been much better utilized in retirement savings. Idiot.
François Bouzigues 2 years ago
This should be much higher. A very nice and wealthy gentleman (think governor of the central bank of a first world country) whose garden party i crashed through a serie of coincidences explained me kindly, but very seriously : i am not rich enough to spent over 10 000€ in something that will loose value over time. I never owned a new car. If you are really a car enthousiast, my best adviced would be to save as much as you can, invest in bonds, shares, real estate... And use only the interests of your investments to finance your car. I never bought a new car. Never had a leasing. Never bought a car under 1500 000km. Never spent above 4000€ on a car. If things go nicely, i might have a nice car in the next decade.
Rostit. . 2 years ago
Considering that a decent car hasn't been made since about 2015, I don't expect to ever own a new car nor do I want to. Tesla are junk, new Toyotas are overpriced, Mercedes is moving to a subscription model etc. Give me a 2010 tundra any day of the week
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dan martyr 2 years ago (edited)
This is my theory on why drivers behave like such bastards around cyclists. If I was paying £500 per month on a car just to sit in traffic and get over taken by a guy on a bike, I’d be angry too.
Jared Robinson 2 years ago
jesus christ how much was this f*****g car. Car culture is evil and here is some proof right here, the cost of a vehicle caused you to damage your health that's f*****g stupid.
Savannah greenleaf 2 years ago
It could be better (or worse on individual viewpoint,) get a DUI lose your driver's license and not have to worry about such things like I did. At least I have no car payment to add to the expenses.
Froyn Laven 2 years ago
Just sounds like you bought the wrong car. At 56 I got a 67 Mercedes 280se Cabrio. Worked 2 jobs for 3.5 years to pay it off. No regrets.
#5
Believing I could get a guy to change if only I was "good enough" for him. Oof.
Vivid-Gur0822:
Ooh yes! THIS! This is probably the mistake in my life that caused the chain reaction of mistakes I made all through my 20s, possibly early 30s as well lol (I'm 39).
AnnaRachelle 2 years ago
I made that mistake in my teen years then in my 20's. Took me until my late 30's to realise what I was doing.
LargeMarge 2 years ago
I learned this in my 20s. I learned that if he wanted to be with me, he would. If he wanted to be better, he would.
Toothless Feline 2 years ago
This is one that we can blame our toxic relationship culture for. Lots of rom-coms promote the idea that love will fix any and all problems, and it's patently false. It's way past time we started educating children on how to have healthy relationships.
Carman Davis 2 years ago
I've never understood how women have thought this.........when we get married he'll change or when I get pregnant or have a baby it will change......that's the way that person is there is NO changing anything! I've never understood how women could think this way. I've seen it time after time. SMH
InfiniteZeek 2 years ago
If you want to change something about someone, then you never really liked them. You liked the idea of them in the version that YOU want. It is never worth it, just move on.
#6
I'm 63F now. When I was 32, I met and married my late husband. He was a genius (literally,) but ultimately a covert narcissist who abused me and our children for decades - while making it look like HE was the long-suffering victim. OP mentioned being able to afford one's mistakes. I worked to put my late husband through college. He took his BA with honors in Philosophy, Summa Cum Laude. He was recognized at the Honors Convocation as having overcome drug addiction and homelessness to achieve great academic heights. Then, he went on to law school, moving our little family 3000 miles from home. Five weeks later, he quit. Not because it was difficult, but because he just didn't want to do it, he said. Looking back, I can see that as a covert narc, he must have realized that he could not become a successful lawyer while still playing victim. He had to shoot himself in the foot, so to speak. Well, he refused to work, Woe was him! But he became a master of the household budget and he pushed me to work as much overtime as possible. pported our family of 5 on my income alone. I paid off his student loan for law school in 12 years. I learned there is such a thing as financial abuse and he exerted that over our family. He convinced us that were were one stick of gum away from homelessness. Why did I not divorce him? Two reasons: 1) God hates divorce. 2) In our home state (to which we had returned,) I'd have had to pay him alimony to keep him in the lifestyle to which he was accustomed. Instead, I focused on the ways he actually served us well. He was an astounding chef and pitmaster. We ate so well, and still on a budget. He actually squirreled aside some $15K from all those "sticks of gum" he kept me from buying over the years. That money came in real handy when he died in the pandemic. My big regret in all of this is that the true love of my life had gotten a divorce the same year that I married this clown. I wish I'd been able to spend an extra 28 years with my Mr. Right. The moment my true love discovered I'd been widowed, he and I got married without a date, without a proposal, without a doubt.
Tiny Dancer 2 years ago
This deserves a 10-episode limited series on Netflix, dang! So glad it worked out in the end, I hope you both have nothing but happiness from now on.
Rayne OfSalt 2 years ago
God doesn't give a damn about divorce. Only the priests, who still believe that women are lesser than and property of men, care about divorce.
PunnyPanda 2 years ago
Covert Narcissism is possibly the hardest of the B cluster personality disorders to deal with as a spouse. The tactics can be so subtle you are constantly doubting your own sanity and it's nearly impossible to explain to others. I deeply emphasize.
According to Davis, it’s through accepting negative emotions like regret that we deal with them and then move on. Regret is what motivates us to correct our behavior so we don’t feel the same emotions again.
In the United States, the most common regrets among adults include missed educational and romantic opportunities, unwise romantic adventures, not spending enough time with loved ones, rushing into something too soon, and failing to “seize the moment.”
#7
Regaining 60 pounds that I took off in my late 40s. Fortunately, I took the weight off again about six years later and have kept it off since.
StrangeOne 2 years ago
Weight loss and gain is a constant rollercoaster. I don't see it as a failure if I gain weight. My goal is to just make sure it doesn't break any records of any of my previous higher weights. Which is still under 200. I don't want to be as thin as I was when I was a teen, as I was more underweight and less tolerant to the cold. I would like to keep some insulation lol.
#8
Continuing doing extreme sports even after the 5th orthopedic surgery. I'm in chronic pain now.
Ima Manimal 2 years ago
Our bodies use pain to tell us when to stop. Listen to your body people.
Alex Kennedy 2 years ago (edited)
Many people have pain disorders which cause them pain that means nothing at all. I have nerve damage in my legs that causes pain sometimes that is not a signal to stop. I’m not saying you’re wrong, just that it’s more nuanced than that.
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Ace 2 years ago
I'd more regret _not_ doing enough if the things I love. I'm in constant pain too but do not in the slightest regret the years of motorcycling and skiing that have caused it. Gave up the former after one huge near-fatal crash, will continue to ski as long as I'm physically capable of moving.
#9
That is so easy for me. I left my husband and 3 young children for a douche bag. It’s a good 30 years ago and our kids are all adults.
I will never forgive myself for abandoning my family.
StrangeOne 2 years ago
My grandma did this. Caused most of her kids to never talk to her until they were all middled aged. A couple of them schemed her for most of her money. She ended up dying from cancer with no funeral.
Id row 2 years ago
No sympathy on this one. Amazing how many people will set their family on fire just to play with another person for a bit.
Chez2202 2 years ago
I was thinking that I have no sympathy when I read the part about leaving 3 young children and her husband. I would like to know more though. Did she realise she left them for a douchebag straight away and move on to someone else? Did she stay with the guy for the full 30 years even though he was a loser? Did she only realise he was useless after 30 years? Whichever it is, she abandoned her children. No.
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Ace 2 years ago
Yes, a horrible thing to say and completely at odds with what these posts are about. Perhaps you misunderstand the word 'regret'?
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Skp2MyLou 2 years ago
A parental relationship shouldn't be about money. It should be about the emotional and psychological benefits. If you feel it should be about money, I'm sorry you were damaged by your parents.
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As we’ve recently covered on Bored Panda, as we grow older and our bodies change, it becomes more challenging for us to learn new information and skills. This is because our brain’s ability to form new neural connections, known as neuroplasticity, slows down. On top of that, the hippocampus (which we need to form memories) shrinks, cognitive functions are reduced as the blood flow to the brain decreases, and neurotransmitter systems can decline.
However, this doesn’t make learning impossible. Our bodies and brains adapt. And the more we take care of both of them, the better off we’ll be. Our brains are akin to muscles in that the more we practice learning, the better at it we’ll be.
#10
Trusting one diagnosis and not getting second opinions. Getting misdiagnosed for 7 years and used like a guinea pig for pharmaceutical testing almost killed me.
Libstak 2 years ago (edited)
When I had unusual bleeding during menopause, I went in for a pap smear. Doctor also booked me for an internal ultrasound. I get a call from hospital to see a specialists, more tests and one operation to remove polyps in my uterus later..I have uterus cancer. Then I get a call from my doctor to give me the good news that my pap smear can back all clear....umm doc, thanks a bunch but thanks even more for the internal ultrasound and the testing facilities immediate referral of my results to the nearest hospital cos that false pap smear result on its own would have cost me my life. All good everybody, I had a hysterectomy and am cancer free.
Temporary Dork 2 years ago
Was it a false result though? Pap smears detect cervical cancer, not uterine.
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Himory TheDreamer 2 years ago (edited)
I'm 23, have been to doctors for bad legs since I was 11 (but had parents ask docs about my crooked legs when I was still a toddler). They always would give the same tests that came back negative, they'd always blame my weight instead of realizing I was fat because I couldn't move, not that I couldn't move because I was fat. I'm 23 now, not yet diagnosed with something specific but results are coming back seeming like I have a degenerative congenital condition. My back is all f****d up, my feet are visibly crooked. I can barely stand to shower. Took more than 10 years and me getting to the point of needing to sit to shower. If they'd done something when I was a kid maybe I wouldn't be in this state today. The psychological part is also awful, I feel like c**p having to depend on others and having to bother people to help me because I can't move or walk properly. Last one year or so my mobility had declined quicker than ever and I'm so afraid of losing it completely.
Sky Render 2 years ago
Even a second opinion isn't enough for intersex sometimes. The healthcare industry doesn't understand conditions like XX/XY mosaicism at all. It took accidentally forgetting to take my estrogen injections for a month for me to learn that my natural estrogen production is entirely sufficient on its own. I even had one doctor ask me why my being intersex might be an issue for HRT prior to that. You know, intersex being almost always related to hormonal differences in some fashion?
StrangeOne 2 years ago
This is why I'm now VERY careful what I divulge to nurses and doctors at the hospital and taking control of the treatments of my chronic, long term medical conditions. If I'm at the hospital I'll state my allergies, but to hell of ever mentioning unrelated health issues, no matter how mundane or "helpful" it may seems. There's no reason a bad flu with chest infection requires blood tests every hour.
Carman Davis 2 years ago
Same here. Knee doctor. First doctor strung me along for over 4 years until I decided to get a second opinion, had surgery within 2 months now living pain free. It did get to the point I could not walk. I will NEVER make that mistake again!
#11
Getting married.
I'm happily divorced now, fourteen years. I'll never make that mistake again.
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 2 years ago
43yo here and never married. Almost everyone I know who got married in their 20s divorced within 10 years. I watched the whole thing from the outside and said "nope not for me".
Id row 2 years ago
You're discounting the 60% of marriages that succeed. I've been with my husband for almost 33 years. My parents were married 59 years.
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Ima Manimal 2 years ago
Don’t fall for that trap. It’s entirely possible to have a loving adult relationship without being legally tied to someone and their mistakes.
BoredPossum 2 years ago
Come on, getting married is not stupid in itself. Marrying the wrong person is.
M Calad 2 years ago
Happily divorced and single here! Marrying is a choice. So good if you want, good if you don't want. Now, for those who want(ed) to marry, the problem is that some of us get(got) married not knowing what type of partner we want in life, what we expect and want from marriage, what are our terms &c conditions, not having fixed our traumas or issues, etc. Now I know better. It would be nice if one day I find the right person that I feel motivated to get married with. But if it doesn't happen, I'll be pretty happy alone as well.
#12
Not taking the time to learn about myself and spending some time alone understanding who I am before getting married.
This was a mistake in my 20s, but I did the same thing on my 2nd (in my 30s) and 3rd husbands (in my 40s). I am still married to my 3rd, but I really appreciate my alone time.
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 2 years ago
Nothing wrong with being alone. I've been single for five years now. Two of those years were because of a stalker and the other three were because of COVID. About halfway through 2023 I finally started to feel social again.
Andy Cran 2 years ago
big difference between being alone and lonely....I'm very comfortable with my own company (have been for years) but sometimes it does get lonely as I have no family
Load More Replies... StrangeOne 2 years ago
Was never married, but I did get into a serious relationship and had a kid a bit too young, and that relationship lasted a decade. During that decade I wanted nothing more than a room to myself with books, media and my art supplies and just do what I did before I got into that relationship. Most of all, I missed my innocence.
Papa 2 years ago
There's nothing wrong with appreciating your alone time while married. I've been married for 35 years, and wouldn't change a thing, but I still look forward to having the house to myself when she's gone for a few days. Of course when she's gone I also look forward to her coming home.
DrBronxx 2 years ago
Just because you're married doesn't mean you shouldn't (or can't) have your alone time. Before our baby came along, my wife and I encouraged each other to do the things we wanted to do. For me, when she could see stress building up, she would suggest I go play golf. When she seemed stressed, I suggested she go to the cinema or a museum. It's much harder to do now with a small child, but we're definitely working on it.
BoredPossum 2 years ago
On the other hand, I got an education, travelled, figured out who I was and had a kid at way too old. I lost a lot of time procrastinating.
InfiniteZeek 2 years ago
My wife and I have daily "me time", I don't bother her during hers and she doesn't bother me during mine; well except for the occasional boop on the nose if we are passing by each other. Highly recommend.
Aside from getting the basics like sleep, nutrition, and exercise right, you can also keep your brain in tip-top shape by carving out time for learning and new experiences.
You could, for instance, sign up for online or in-person courses to learn a new skill or sharpen an old one. But education doesn’t have to be so formal. You can listen to podcasts, meet new people, travel somewhere you’ve never been… Even making a meal you’ve never attempted before can spark new life in your mind and your life.
#13
Started doing c*ke in my early 40’s. Lost everything (kids, house, dog, cars and a lot of money). I had to move away from my home state. I’ve been clean for about 16 years.
Panda Kicki 2 years ago
Took me a while to figure out the coke-thing. First thought coke as in coca cola, then thought it was something sexual, before it dawned on me. 16 years clean is really good!
DE Ray 2 years ago
I had a friend who used a wide variety of drugs recreationally and non-habitually. She said cocaine was the only drug she was really afraid of because she could not stop using it once she started.
Astro 2 years ago
I’m an alcoholic (in recovery), but I’ve tried cocaine a few times. I absolutely agree with her, one bump and I can’t stop. I already know I have an addictions problem so I stay far, far away from coke. It honestly terrifies ne.
Load More Replies... #14
I took out student loans to go to college after I got clean. I was able to get my degree but now I’m in my late 60’s and I still have 46k in student loans. I’m not willing to work until I die just to pay them off. I’m not even using my degree for my job. I don’t have anyone to blame but myself, but I’m still pissed that I didn’t know enough about money management until I hit my late 50’s.
Sel 2 years ago
My story exactly. All deferred for years, degree useless, no jobs in my field of study. A little over 50k, can't get loan forgiveness either.
Alicia M 2 years ago (edited)
My husband too. He's the most underemployed person I know because there are no jobs in his field of study. He is still paying on a student loan and doing a job that doesn't even require a college degree.
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wordsupfool 2 years ago
And, yet- financial literacy is not taught in schools. I only learned what NOT TO DO with money by watching my boomer parents borrow and squander money like tomorrow would never come.
Christine Kelley 2 years ago
Me too. 52K in debt. I'm a receptionist. I'll never be able to pay that back.
Robin Roper 2 years ago
So few fully understand student loan's are set up to rope people in. Laws have been passed to protect the loan giver and screw the student. It's a total con.
Papa 2 years ago
It is extraordinarily irresponsible to loan tens of thousands of dollars (or sometimes hundreds of thousands) to an 18-year-old, especially to get a degree that isn't likely to pay much more than a living wage. I remember listening to a radio show where people call in for help with financial problems, and the caller had co-signed for her son for $100,000.00 student loan for him to get a degree in Philosophy. How did she ever expect him to pay that back?
Lady Gypsy Rain 2 years ago
PSA for all who need to know, if you become disabled at any point in time after taking out student loans, you can request debt forgiveness based on you’ll never be able to earn a wage to pay them off. They WILL make it as difficult as possible, of that be sure. And you will have to fill out papers once a year for (I think it was) 5 years. But once they get the request, they stop collections, once they receive the last paper you complete and return, the debt will be forgiven. Make certain to keep copies/originals of all correspondence. They tend to lose these annually.
#15
After a heart wrenching divorce at 50, I started dating three years later. Though I vowed to be careful going forward, I got involved with a sociopath who further destroyed any self-esteem I had left. Whatever possessed me to hang around such a self-absorbed, cruel man still haunts me. I knew what he was three months into the relationship, yet I stayed. That was 15 years ago. I never dated again. Why would a woman who had spent 28 with a man who destroyed take up with a worse nightmare? I am grateful my adult children were kept in the dark about Mom's foolishness. You can make terrible mistakes at any age.
Dread Pirate Roberts 2 years ago
That's so sad :< sometimes loneliness makes you desperate to where you'll put up with behavior that you shouldn't.
Jane Terry 2 years ago
It isn’t always loneliness. Those of us who were raised in old-fashioned, super-religious homes were taught that a woman’s life purpose was to be married to a man and raise children. After two abusive marriages (abusive in all ways - sexual, physical, verbal, financial), incurring much debt from the financial abuse, and the shame of two divorces, I finally realized that maybe my belief system was defective. I’ve been thankfully single almost 20 years and it’s taken a long time to reform my beliefs/thinking - still working on that!
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Mary Kelly 2 years ago
you need to have honest friends and then heed their warnings....long story short, if you cannot trust yourself, find people to trust and heed their wisdom
#16
A couple years ago, I made the mistake of letting an ex-friend weasel her way back into my life. She came with all kinds of reasons/excuses for her bad behavior in the past, said she'd totally changed and gone through therapy, etc. So I figured I'd give her a 2nd chance. Within a year, she was doing exactly the same kind of things, even worse than before. After calling her out on a couple of bad acts, she went totally ballistic on me. So I dropped her again. My mistake. :-/
Andy Cran 2 years ago
everyone deserves a second chance because you never know.... some people work really hard on themselves
Nina 2 years ago
I would say they do, but you don't owe anyone who has hurt you bad a second chance. You can give it, but you don't owe it.
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StrangeOne 2 years ago
In a way, this doesn't have to be a regret. More like a definitive confirmation on how s****y that so-called friend was.
Danish Susanne 2 years ago (edited)
I don't think this was a mistake. Giving an old friend a second chance is good and kind, and dropping her if she doesn't take that chance is the only sensible thing to do.
Sel 2 years ago
Good for you, you have to cut them off and never let them back in. I grew up with someone who always played victim and had people convinced of that, she always wanted attention and everyone was always hurting her. She still has our circle of friends fooled to this day. I left that circle bc of her and her manipulative ways. Almost ten years ago she and another friend had the audacity to show up at my door wanting reentry into my life. Luckily no one was home, but they each left long dramatic notes at the door about how they wanted me back in their lives, included contact info. Ripped those papers up and flushed down the toilet, just like emotional leeches should be handled. My life is more peaceful without that garbage in it.
Camber Hollywood 2 years ago
I'd say your mistake wasn't letting her into your life, but rather expecting her to act differently. If you go in the lion cage once and get bit, maybe that's what you should expect when you go in again. Be with the lion, just not naively.
Alicia M 2 years ago (edited)
I did this. I took in a sick friend. She had very problematic behavior as a teenager but we were in our 40s and I thought she was different. She lied, stole from me (money, jewelry, expensive handbags, Christmas presents, anything she could get her hands on) and impersonated me all over the internet. I kicked her out and she ended up dying after using a few more people. Took me a while to get the mess she caused cleaned up and I really regret doing it. I will absolutely think harder before helping someone in the future.
#17
Mine isn't as dramatic or serious as others, but I really hate when I've been an a*****e or s****y person. I really try hard not to be, but you know... human is human.
MyNameIsNotAPortent 2 years ago (edited)
Join the club. We’ve got human shaped jackets wrapped around lizard brains
stupidMonkey 2 years ago
Lol this may be my new favorite metaphor. Have an upvote
Load More Replies... Ima Manimal 2 years ago
We have to learn from our mistakes, forgive ourselves, and strive to do better
Lady Gypsy Rain 2 years ago
So many of us who beat ourselves up over past mistakes. While others abuse relationships over past mistakes - yours and theirs.
David Paterson 2 years ago
Sexual frustration will do that. And high stress too. Darn difficult to overcome.
Lavern Defazio 2 years ago
Thank you, David. I have to agree. Especially about the sexual frustration.
Load More Replies... #18
Got into massive debt for the third (F**K!) time in my life recently. Despite the fact that I had done so much reading about FIRE and other personal finance stuff. Just thought I was sooooo f****n' smart and yet I still went and did it anyway...
I didn't figure it out until I used one of those debt payoff calculators online that shows you pie charts of how long til payoff, how much interest, etc. where you can plugin different payoff times and/or monthly payments.
It took the visual of a pie chart and the rest to finally get it on a "gut level" and finally pull my head out of my a*s...
Roland Gosselin 2 years ago
I suffer from ADD and haven't ever been able to plan anything in my life. Nothing. Luckily I have zero debt, but I also have zero savings... Oh well. :)
Ruth 2 years ago
Great job on zero debt! Much easier to build your savings than to be paying off debt.
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ConstantlyJon 2 years ago
sometimes there's just nothing you can do. our basement flooded and we needed to drop $10k on french drains before it ruined our foundation. just bought the house, no chance at a home equity line of credit, though we tried. after exhausting all our other options for smaller loans, it had to go on credit, we had no other option at that moment. got it half paid off 3 years later.
Danish Susanne 2 years ago
Pie carts are really great. Did you all know they were invented by Florence Nightingale?
#19
Oh yea… getting involved with a co-worker. I was in my 40’s. NEVER again. Ever… and I can confidently say never.
odinskriver39:
Definitely the co-worker mistake. We were both separated and the story sharing date turned into fun for a while and then a bad marriage. Really glad I got out and listened to the friend who wanted me to meet her friend. Third time is the last and best.
Ima Manimal 2 years ago
Bro, rule number 42: never ever ever date people at work. It’s probably not going to work out, and then creates a lot of unnecessary drama at work.
Michael Largey 2 years ago
And it guts the suspense out of "Hi honey. How was work today?"
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MotherRobinson 2 years ago
Meanwhile I'm happily married to a guy I met at work. Going on 7 years now. We also left said job and formed our own small business which we work together in. I we might be the rare case of workplace romance that actually worked out.
Lavern Defazio 2 years ago (edited)
A no no. I learned this from experience...several times. Im a slow learner. They were all just flings anyway, but it did get awkward. Especially if it was with a " strait" dude.
MR 2 years ago
Just even being friends of the same sex. Seriously. Beware. Be Aware. How serious is the job? Don't get involved. After work: You ARE busy. Period. No. Always thought it was known that you DON'T date people you work with. You don't hang out. Don't mesh the professional with personal. DON'T.
#20
Marrying the wrong person for the wrong reason Met my ex at a church function. Hit if off 'okay'. Nothing great or friends whatnot. Just an odd 'attraction' that *somehow* turned to a brief dating before getting engaged 4 mos. later (huh? 🤔) Never once declaring any love. Just assuming we were. The relationship was compatible as Christians (it wasn't) Zero in common (didn't dawn on us) I wanted to wait another year, but he was impatient insisting we marry "now". Couldn't wait. Well, big mistake. Barely lasted 3-years with consistent arguing and disagreement because of our polar differences and delusion. Mercifully divorcing at 4, getting our lives back. To finally be ourselves. Lesson learned: ... Don't marry the wrong person for wrong reasons because "its time" or you're lonely.
FABULOUS1 2 years ago
Married my first wife at the time same sex marriage became legal in California, it seems that was the reason why we did it. Biggest regret of my life, things got worse after the I do's.
Lavern Defazio 2 years ago (edited)
Your first mistake was not moving in together after your first date. Seriously though, same thing here and it was 3 years of a bad marriage to make me realize i love being single.
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Sherri Harvey 2 years ago
I married at 30 because my internal clock for having children was going crazy. I saw the red flags and went full force ahead anyway. Hormones to have a child can be very strong and I was raised not to even consider having children without being married. Miserable marriage with an alcoholic abusive (in all the ways) jerk. Now divorced. My son was worth every bit of it, but those were some mighty dire days and I feel like I lost most of my 30's to being in an abusive marriage. We live and learn.
#21
Using people for sex. I specifically regret not being more gentle with their emotions and being more honest about mine.
I wasn't a womanizer but there were a couple occasions when I knew I would seriously break a really great girl's heart and I did it anyway. I'm ashamed of myself for doing that.
DeeDee M 2 years ago
I'm glad you regret it, because it shows you have a conscience, and that you've grown as a man. My husband expressed similar regret about his college years (he played football, was super hot, and those guys literally had groupies.) He said he didnt take sex "seriously" enough, and that as a married father of three, he was sorry for his behavior. I just glared at him on behalf of all those broken-hearted one-night stands, and said " you should be." However, I was secretly cheering that there can be reformed womanizers out there.
Sherri Harvey 2 years ago
Seems like he got a bit of karma in return. Sometimes it takes being treated poorly to show you how you've treated others poorly. Ugh.
Lexekon 2 years ago
You must have been attractive, back then, in order to have a meaningful number of women want to be with you, WITHOUT knowing you well enough to expect these results. Not shaming, just pointing out details average looking guys understand through experience. It happens, apparently.
Rostit. . 2 years ago
Or he went for very vulnerable women. He didn't have to be handsome. Just manipulative enough
Load More Replies... Astro 2 years ago
OP obviously has empathy if they’re feeling regret for causing pain to others.
Load More Replies... #22
I fell for all the finance manager’s tricks when I bought my car about 10 years ago. I ended up buying a bunch of dealer extended warranties that I didn’t want because he snuck an extra 6 months worth of payments. I thought the sales guy was the one to watch out for, but he was easy. I bought a new car for my wife recently and I want in to the finance managers office expecting another ambush, but it was fine. I just got a real dirt bag last time.
stupidMonkey 2 years ago
Trust no-one at a car dealership. They are just knots of concentrated greed in the space time continuum.
David Paterson 2 years ago
It used to be worse. Like when they would charge for a "reconditioned motor" and put in one that had been bought for scrap metal value.
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Charles McChristy 2 years ago
I just tell them, "You can't get blood from a stone. I cannot afford anything beyond the price of the car." That shuts them up, usually.
Astro 2 years ago
Oh no it doesn’t, they’ll find a way. You’d be surprised the sneaky ways they come up with to convince you that you can afford things.
Load More Replies... Dread Pirate Roberts 2 years ago
It seems that with most car dealerships, there is no act too low for them if it means making a sale. That includes pretending to sympathize with a recently widowed woman (my mom) and trying to relate by telling their own B.S. sob story while cheating her out of money.
#23
Still make friends that I am not compatible with, who have used and abused me, force me into friendships. Most of my psychological harm has been caused in the last 6/7 years by narcissistic or dismissive people. They latch on to you and don’t let go. I need to stand up and just cut them immediately.
Rayne OfSalt 2 years ago
Unless you're pairing them with a hockey mask and overalls.
Load More Replies... PolymathNecromancer 2 years ago (edited)
I was in this position until I started undergoing a complete 'overhaul' to discover how I gave this kind of stuff a nice place to live. Very challenging process, but effective.
Settled for Infamy 2 years ago
I don't understand how I come across these people either. I figure it's because I'm in my 40s and single. Pretty sure my boundaries are healthier as I age too 🤷🏻♀️
Annabelle 2 years ago
Almost everyone will meet a narcissist once in a while. The only thing you can do about it is learn to set healthy boundaries and keep them out of your personal life when possible. And even when you’re within their reach, don’t blame yourself.
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JK 2 years ago
Can we stop calling selfish/entitled/AH people narcissists, it's the equivalent of calling an organised person being OCD. NPD is a genuine condition and we bandy the term around to use against anyone vaguely selfish, vain, or just downright sh*tty. I have a sibling with NPD, trust me when I say they're a *completely* different level to general AHs and there are not as many legit cases out there as everyone on the internet likes to say there is
Sherri Harvey 2 years ago
I think abusive people have an underground newsletter listing all the people who are easy to scam. I'm trying to unsubscribe to that particular newsletter. I have no explanations for why else these people find me.
Sherri Harvey 2 years ago
Oh and I've been in therapy off and on for a hundred years, you'd have thought I could have developed a "spidey sense" to see these abusive people, but they're so very creative and charming. Still in therapy, trying to get better at boundaries and how to spot abusive people. Fun fact, I unknowingly (until it was over) dated two sociopaths in a row after my marriage was over. I mean, really?! Like diagnosed sociopaths. I found out from their families after the fact. I am pretty good at recognizing a sociopath now, but sheesh, I want a redo, but only if I can keep my sons.
Load More Replies... #24
Not getting myself out of a long distance commute in my 50s, which probably caused me to retire sooner than I would have otherwise. Gripping the wheel for all that time also worsened the arthritis in my left hand to the point that I can’t work on cars.
Rinso the Red 2 years ago
Can relate. I have RA and used to commute 1 1/2 hours both ways. Luckily, I qualified for the American's with Disabilities Act, so work was forced to give me some time remote. Then we went fully remote during COVID and I've been relabeled at "Virtual" so I only have to go in now on very rare occasions.
#25
Dated someone else with bipolar again. I have bipolar so dating someone else with bipolar is a really bad idea. You would have thought I would have learned the first time around but apperently not. At least the second guy wasn't anywhere near as bad as the first one. Je is a halfway decent guy it's just when I date people with bipolar our mental health problems feed off each other. It's just not healthy for anyone in the situation.
#26
I didn't make the mistake but 2 people in my friend group did. There are 5 of us that grew up together and are still friends. Up to our late 20s none of us had real jobs or responsibilities. Every weekend was party time. I got married at 33, got a really good job and consider myself in a good place mentally and financially. But two of my friends are now nearly 50, have never had permanent employment and basically survive by help from friends and relatives. They still drink and smoke weed almost on a daily basis. As far as I know they have no mental or physical issues that would keep them in their current situation. I've just come to the conclusion that they are lazy. That could easily of been me. I credit my spouse and family 100% for helping me not make that mistake.
Ima Manimal 2 years ago
I have cousins who did that… And they resent me now for being successful and retired
Lucy Gotye 2 years ago
Wow, I wish I can be like that drinking and smoking and rnjoying life everyday
Danish Susanne 2 years ago
I understand you wish, but almost nobody who drinks and smokes everyday are enjoying their life.
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#27
People still drink and drive well past age 30. I doubt how much it will cost them (or whoever they kill) ever enters their mind. BTW if you live and breathe you will make mistakes, growing wiser means you take responsibility for them ( meaning you stop whining "It's not my faultttttt) and limit the fallout to others.
Verena 2 years ago (edited)
People below the age of 30 don't risk to kill others when drinking and driving? And they are too dumb to understand risks? Or is this a rule in OPs country, that one is allowed to drink, drive and kill people until the age of 30?
Cecilia Herrera 2 years ago
They risk this, but tend to think of themselves as invincible... until the day comes when they find out they are not.
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Amanda Hunter 2 years ago
A nephew in his 30s just died from driving while drunk, he had a young son.
AnkleByter 2 years ago
People who drink and drive period, regardless of age, should not have a license. I honestly wish the laws regarding this were more strict, so that the penalties could and would(hopefully) be more strict. You should not get a second chance, no matter what. One DUI or one DWI, license revoked, that's it. Oh, they'll struggle getting to their job, too bad, so sad, the choice you made has consequences. But, that will never happen, sadly. So, since it won't, I wish they would at least up it to first instance, jail time, fine, suspension for one year. Second time, jail, fines, 5 year suspension. Third instance, prison, fines, permanent revocation. But no, we have people on their 3rd, 5th, 15th DUI...(and not just in the US, but other countries have similar issues as well). Pisses me off to no end.
StarlightPanda! 2 years ago
Finally someone who stresses the seriousness of this!!!
Load More Replies... Nimitz 2 years ago
There are other versions of this. People who don't wear seatbelts (if God wants to take me, he'll take me) not considering how the other driver might be traumatized by a terrible memory. Or people ending their lives not considering that someone will have to clean it up (had to do it, it's worse than you think). It's rough
AnkleByter 2 years ago
Neither of those are even remotely on par with driving drunk. The seatbelt thing, if you're going to use it as a comparison, it's selfish and an asinine thing to do because an unbelted body is likely to become a projectile and could physically harm another person/driver. The whole "might give them a bad memory" isn't a good thing, but it is nowhere near as bad as the physical impact it can have. Taking of one's own life just doesn't belong as a comparison here-there is too much else involved. While it may seem, on the surface, to be a selfish thing to do, it's far more complex than that. Using "someone has to clean it up" is a bad reason, there are literal companies that do this for a living, it's not always "rough" to them, they're better suited for cleanup for things like that, even accidents. The effects it can have on others will vary widely, but it's nowhere near how selfish, asinine and actually ILLEGAL it is to drive drunk-and what that can cause.
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#28
Yes, you are still capable of making bad mistakes past your 30's. But what does happen is that, *if you reflect on your mistakes and treat them as the learning opportunities that they are*, you make fewer mistakes and the consequences become less severe. For example, I used to say and do things during fights with my wife that really hurt her and brought us to the brink of divorce. I wasn't *trying* to. I just didn't have enough awareness of how I was hurting her. Now our fights are less common and less painful, even though I'm still not perfect. The same decrease in frequency and severity happens in your work life as well. It's why VP's and CEO's tend to be old. You don't want the people with the most power to sink your company to be people who haven't made enough mistakes in life to figure out how to reduce the frequency and severity of their mistakes.
AnkleByter 2 years ago
Maybe stop fighting with your wife in general. It doesn't matter how old you are. If you're "fighting:" this frequently, there is still something wrong, even if you're not as mean as you once were. Figure out the source of your issue that keeps making you fight. It could be you, it could be her, it could be both of you (most likely) but if you're fighting frequently at all, that's not a good marriage and something is going to break. Also, no, that is not a reason why older people are CEOs, what a stupid reason, lmao. As if older CEOs don't still, continuously, make mistake after mistake. Being aware of your mistakes and not doing anything to not repeat them, at any age, is not wisdom, nor does it come with less consequences. "I really effed up, but, man did I learn something" loses its meaning if you have to say it more than once (for the same thing), at any age. That goes back to, stop fighting with your wife, it's stupid, fix your issues.
#29
Cashing in stock options to pay bills; the employer who'd issued them has since become acquired X2. Lost just under $500K. So that's fun.
SM 2 years ago (edited)
One needs to ask themselves, could they have paid those bills (or avoided them in the first place) and if not then you did what you had to do. But there is something else to understand, looking back is always 20/20, but no one can do that. People will tell you that you should have bought Apple back in the day and held on to it until the price skyrocketed but forget to tell you they almost went bankrupt. When I was working, we got some stock instead of pay (pay reduction, instead of firing people) because of bad times, later things turned around and this co-worker sold them for 3x profit but was complaining because if he had held them a bit longer it would have made 4x profit. And to that I say, if you can predict the future like that you will be a trillionaire. But that isn't how the world works. If you made money on stock options, you did OK. By their nature they can be worthless just as easy as them going up in value.
StrangeOne 2 years ago
The stocks is another way to gamble, and some are gambling addicts. It's another "well, if I just try to hang in there a little longer, I may get more money" game.
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Vidas Zlioba 2 years ago
Ackshually, that's not a "loss," because the money was never in OP's pocket in the first place. And framing it this way leads to thinking it's a "mistake to regret."
Gypsy Lee 2 years ago (edited)
My husband's family "invested" our retirement into the family business that we were told for 20 years we would inherit. (Mistake #1. Investing in family) We worked our butts off. Long story short, about 6 months after taking our retirement they built a castle on the water and sold the company out from under us. We got to file for bankruptcy and lost our home, our jobs, and our respect for family. - Never trust family. Ever.
Rupp 2 years ago (edited)
Not keeping company stock is actually the recommended decision. The reason is if something bad happens at a company you end up losing your job and the company stock loses its value. You have all your eggs in one basket. (Think Enron) Obviously it doesn't always work that way, but it is still the correct decision.
David Paterson 2 years ago (edited)
That's unavoidable. Not your fault. The stock market is always at a minimum when people urgently need to withdraw money.
Zaphod 2 years ago
A great friend has always had an issue with gambling. He lives 4 hours from Las Vegas. He would cash his paychecks there and come home with nothing. After doing this 3 paychecks in a row, he quit gambling. SOOO, he decided to cash out his 401k and DAYTRADE instead. He lost it all, had to pay the early withdrawl penalties and has nothing left for retirement.
#30
Getting a better job a with a decent boost in salary when I was in my early 30s, then being complacent and not taking my career any further because (due to my low self-esteem) I assumed this was as good as it gets. So treaded water for 20 years until I was laid off (though did good work and was well-regarded by my employer). If I could turn back time I would have spent those 20 years networking, job hopping and aggressively doing everything I could to advance my career.
Donkeywheel 2 years ago
« aggressively doing everything I could to advance my career » And 20 years later regretting that stupid decision that consumed them in the hustle culture. Good life is about balance. Not about « aggressively » doing anything.
amy lee 2 years ago
People tend to overcorrect and not understand why they're not where they thought they'd be. Opposite direction isn't necessarily going to get you to your destination.
Load More Replies... Rupp 2 years ago
I didn't get a real job until almost middle-aged. Drifted around before then having fun. Got an entry level break in the IT world and loved the work. Put in a lot of extra hours at the end of the day and many weekends to keep up with the people that had more education and experience. (That they got while I lived and partied on the beach..) Retired early with more money than I'll ever need. Ready for the big down vote, but I laugh at people that don't want to put in the extra effort at work.
AnkleByter 2 years ago
The idea that putting in more work to help yourself advance in your career goals has to be stressful is so untrue. Can it be stressful, yes, if you take it too far, if you head into it too aggressively, if you overcompensate (for...whatever), it can be. It can also be stressful not doing enough, even if it's not stressful today. There is a huge difference between doing more to help yourself (and perhaps your employer in the process) and only doing more to help your employer. The latter is almost always stressful, the former doesn't have to be, and you have full control over whether or not it is. That is the main difference between the two, being able to control (mostly, not entirely, stress is what it is and sometimes inevitable) your stress levels based on what you intend or desire to accomplish...and for who.
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#31
I grew up with an alcoholic dad (he’s 25 years sober now and I’m so proud of him), and a manic depressed mother (who died in 2009 and I still miss her terribly). Neither of them were physically abusive, but they both left their mark on me. Almost all of my relationships (familial, plutonic, and romantic), were toxic. Making everyone else happy was my priority. There was always that little voice in my head that told me that I needed help, but I ignored it. I’m 47 and it wasn’t until a s*icide attempt 2 months ago that left me hospitalized for a week that I started getting the help I needed. Now I’m on medication and seeing a therapist every week and I’m actually starting to feel happy for the first time in years! I wish I had listened to that little voice sooner.
stupidMonkey 2 years ago
Good on you for getting the help you need. Depression is real, debilitating and sometimes even deadly. It can be hard to acknowledge because it isn't as physically obvious as a broken bone but it can have a much more detrimental effect on ones life than being in a cast for a few weeks. Keep up the good work and you will make it through this.
#32
I am a 55 y.o. and got into a physical altercation with a stranger at the dog park because they punched my dog in her face for no good reason. On the one hand, I don't regret it. In fact, I'm sure I'd do it again. On the other hand, it's embarrassing that it happened at all. I wish I had recognized the risk sooner and found a way to prevent him from being close to her.
stupidMonkey 2 years ago
Punch doggo and get dogged in the mouth. No regrets necessary here. Classic case of FAAFO. I just hope there were no legal repercussions for you.
#33
Ghosting a potential romantic partner (I was 39, so close enough 40). Just went on a couple dates. I should have said I wasn't interested but I just let it lapse due to sheer laziness and fear. The guilt I felt was overwhelming, I'd never do that ever again. I still feel bad.
Kim Shannon 2 years ago
So contact the person you did this to and apologize sincerely. Let them know it wasn't anything they did
#34
Getting married for the THIRD TIME and, yes, here I am getting ready for my THIRD divorce. Just shack up people. Just live in sin LOL! Who even cares. I will be 61 soon. Way too old for this c**p. Thanks for asking though. Have a blessed day.
Josephine Blogs 2 years ago
The OP is a woman, you can click through to her comments an profile in Reddit.
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#35
No ones is going to like this answer… but I took my chance to have children for granted. By my mid 30s I was almost out of eggs and spent almost $100k to have a baby. I am now 40 with a toddler, and it’s exhausting but zero regrets.
Bear Hall 2 years ago (edited)
I wish it would be explained in high school: there's a serious time limit for women to give life to healthy babies. It's not fair, I know, more the reason to understand: sometimes successful career and children are not compatible, especially later in life. Take it from me, it can be a really hard and sad road to go.
Nicola Roberts 2 years ago
I agree there should be factual no frills information about fertility. Whether it's a lifestyle choice or not, it's called a geriatric pregnancy for the over 35s for a reason. If your first pregnancy is later then you won't know if there are fertility issues or complications. I've seen the heartbreak this can cause.
Load More Replies... #36
Not getting a college degree in something useful and lucrative. I actually managed to do ok with my English degree but I like money so I regret not putting in the effort to enhance my money-making capabilities.
Bec 2 years ago
You'll do even better if you go to a trade school and/or get certifications. 'College' is not just liberal arts degrees.
Load More Replies... Rinso the Red 2 years ago
An MBA isn't the money maker it used to be because of a glut in the market.
#37
Made the mistake of trying to save a divorced woman and her family by getting emotionally and physically involved. Seven years of my life I wish I could get back. Let's just say that she knew how to use the cookie.
Ima Manimal 2 years ago
That’s why they call it baggage. She’s not looking for a relationship, she’s looking for a sponsor.
#38
One of the biggest mistakes I made and have always regretted was selling my old Chevy El Camino.
Thomas Wortmann 2 years ago
If you use the money for an apartment/furniture or retirement provision, you're doing everything right. I've had a beautiful '69 Mustang for 20 years. It was a lot of fun. But now the car is being sold and a new phase is coming. You can't live in a car.
David Paterson 2 years ago
Accept that you did the right thing. Your nostalgia is giving you rose-coloured glasses. Let's see, 150 miles per tank of gas. And you could watch it rust in real time.
#39
my pickup died and i need a truck fast... i regret buying a ford ranger....my first and only ford..and i knew better but .....worst ever...stupid s**t broke all the time....pulling out on the highway, accelerator cable snapped, under the hood....tailgate release snapped in half... e break always stuck... cable for the heater snapped, no fan... i was so glad when that POS died...
Dread Pirate Roberts 2 years ago
Just pictured that scene in Little Rascals where Butch and Woim try to make a go cart and it starts falling apart while they're test driving it >v<
stupidMonkey 2 years ago
I've owned the same Ford Ranger for almost 25 years. Sounds like a previous owner may have let it sit and rust unless it is a new model of course. TBF I do all the maintenance/repairs myself so when things go wrong (inevitable on a 25yo vehicle) I know how to fix it and don't have to hope I luck out with a mechanic that knows what they are doing and actually cares about doing it right.
#40
Due to the stress and social isolation of the pandemic, I made some mistakes in my 40s that I never would have thought myself capable of. I was mortified when I realized what I’d done. I hope I’ll never do anything like that again - both because I hope I learned from the experience and because I hope I’d never be that desperate again.
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DB 2 years ago
Early 40's I went back to playing in a small rock band to make a few extra bucks. Best two guitarists I had ever played with and the worst drummer. It started out as fun but turned into aggravation. The handful of gigs we played went well but the money wasn't that great. Drummer had a habit of booking us low paying jobs for the "exposure". One by one the guitar players quit. The drummer and his girlfriend who was also our percussionist wanted to rebuild the band from scratch. I told them "no way" and called it quits. Don't regret my decision.
Toothless Feline 2 years ago
I spent twenty years devoting most of my spare time to a fan-run science fiction convention that was controlled by a person who never trusted me and became convinced that I was trying to "destroy" the convention. I came to realize that she didn't trust me, but I took her at her word that she was going to retire from conrunning after running the con's 50th year. She didn't. Then she managed to convince another person with the con, who had been my friend, that I was up to no good, and he ultimately made me so unwelcome that I publicly repudiated the entire convention. Three years later, the convention went bankrupt because they were trying to do things the same way as had been done since before the commercial internet existed. This was one of the things I had been trying to fix.
Josephine Blogs 2 years ago
Lots of people in here replying on each post with things like "Oh I'm sorry this happened to you" and "so what did you do?". While these are lovely comments and I love seeing how kind us Pandas are, the OP will most likely never see your comments because this article was taking from Reddit and you're not directly replying to them. You can however just click through to the post in Reddit and comment directly to the OP there. :)
Rostit. . 2 years ago
They know. It's just a knee jerk reaction in the event the op ever happens upon the responses
Load More Replies... DB 2 years ago
Early 40's I went back to playing in a small rock band to make a few extra bucks. Best two guitarists I had ever played with and the worst drummer. It started out as fun but turned into aggravation. The handful of gigs we played went well but the money wasn't that great. Drummer had a habit of booking us low paying jobs for the "exposure". One by one the guitar players quit. The drummer and his girlfriend who was also our percussionist wanted to rebuild the band from scratch. I told them "no way" and called it quits. Don't regret my decision.
Toothless Feline 2 years ago
I spent twenty years devoting most of my spare time to a fan-run science fiction convention that was controlled by a person who never trusted me and became convinced that I was trying to "destroy" the convention. I came to realize that she didn't trust me, but I took her at her word that she was going to retire from conrunning after running the con's 50th year. She didn't. Then she managed to convince another person with the con, who had been my friend, that I was up to no good, and he ultimately made me so unwelcome that I publicly repudiated the entire convention. Three years later, the convention went bankrupt because they were trying to do things the same way as had been done since before the commercial internet existed. This was one of the things I had been trying to fix.
Josephine Blogs 2 years ago
Lots of people in here replying on each post with things like "Oh I'm sorry this happened to you" and "so what did you do?". While these are lovely comments and I love seeing how kind us Pandas are, the OP will most likely never see your comments because this article was taking from Reddit and you're not directly replying to them. You can however just click through to the post in Reddit and comment directly to the OP there. :)
Rostit. . 2 years ago
They know. It's just a knee jerk reaction in the event the op ever happens upon the responses
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