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“I Had To Be In Therapy For Years Because Of Her”: Woman Gets Told Off By Family For Not Wanting Her Twin Sister To Be Her Bridesmaid
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Parenting, People1 week ago

“I Had To Be In Therapy For Years Because Of Her”: Woman Gets Told Off By Family For Not Wanting Her Twin Sister To Be Her Bridesmaid

We all know the stories about the extraordinary attachment of twins to each other, both in real life and in popular culture – from that very comedy with the Olsen sisters to those very books by JK Rowling. Moreover, as a proud father of two twin daughters, I can personally testify to the truth of many of these stories. But still, unfortunately, sometimes the opposite happens.

In fact, twins can have not only a strong bond, but also an equally strong rivalry, especially if parents lose sight of this moment in raising them. As a result, it turns out that one of the two is the clear leader, and it is good if they always support and protect their sister or brother. However, teen times sometimes do very strange things, even with twins.

A good example of this is this story that appeared in the AITA Reddit community a few days ago and clearly touched some strings in the readers’ hearts. At least right now, the original post can boast almost 9.9K upvotes and around 1.1K different comments. Quite enough to disassemble this tale in detail.

More info: Reddit

The author of the post has a twin sister with whom she was very close during their childhood

Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)

So the author of the original post is now 25 years old and getting married soon. And this story is connected with her upcoming wedding. And to be more precise – with the upcoming presence of her twin sister at that wedding. The bride-to-be’s parents suggested that the sister be her bridesmaid, and this seems to make perfect sense. However, not quite, given the history of the sisters’ relationship.

Image credits: AdAgitated1763

In high school, however, the sister started keeping away from the author

The original poster says that in childhood, she and her sister were very close, but then it was time for high school – and the situation changed radically. The OP’s sister was an outgoing bubbly cheerleader, while the author herself was “a shy nerdy bookworm”. Teenagers can be very cruel – and in the pursuit of popularity, the OP’s sister shunned and avoided her twin.

Image credits: AdAgitated1763

No, we are not talking about bullying or insults on her part at all – but when one of her classmates mocked the OP, the sister did nothing to stop it. At home and outside of school, the sister behaved with the OP as if nothing had happened – but as soon as one of her classmates approached, she simply did not want to see her around.

Image credits: AdAgitated1763

The sister even handed her $100 to say she was sick and miss their joint birthday party

It got to the point when the girls turned 16, the OP’s sister had a big bash, and the author herself didn’t have any friends, so she wasn’t going to throw a party. Moreover, when her parents insisted that the OP’s sister invite her, she secretly offered $100 to say she was sick. The OP recalls that she then took the money – she herself did not want to go when she’d at best be ignored, or worse, picked on.

Image credits: AdAgitated1763

Furthermore, the girls went to different colleges across the country from each other. The OP recalls that her sister tried to maintain a relationship with her, but she calmly refused, because the traumatic experience of losing her sister and best friend in one person was still fresh in her heart. In the OP’s own words, she tried to be polite in communication, but nothing more – she kept her sister at arm’s length.

Image credits: AdAgitated1763

Now the author is going to marry and doesn’t want the sister be her maid of honor

And now, as the OP is planning her wedding, she would like her bridesmaids to be her own friends from her sorority, and moreover, in one of the conversations with her parents, the bride-to-be once said that her sister should be glad she was even invited to the wedding as an ordinary guest. However, according to the author, it is better not to inflate the drama, so she invited her sister.

Image credits: Darya Sannikova (not the actual photo)

The sister fell into tears hearing this, though she had never brought apologies

On the other hand, the OP couldn’t resist the phrase “but what would other people think if she was seen with me?”, which she had heard from her twin many times before. The sister burst into tears – after all, she believes that her sister should let bygones be bygones, although she never brought apologies. After all, according to the OP’s sister, they were simply too young and immature, and no one should blame her for such behavior in her school days.

The parents agreed with the OP’s sister, but the author herself, recalling how she had to be in therapy for years because of her, still flatly refused to make her maid of honor. “Why should I have someone as a bridesmaid who thinks they’re better than me?” the woman inquires.

According to the expert, the parents or school staff should have talked to the girls at school

“Probably, the parents at one time missed the moment when the sister began to move away from the original poster,” says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, who was asked by Bored Panda to comment on this situation. “The girl believed that communication with an overly modest sister would cast a shadow on her in the eyes of others, somehow humiliate her. Of course, this is not so, and parents or school staff should have noticed this, talked to the girls somehow.”

“Apparently, this did not happen, and the OP went into adulthood with a mental trauma, the consequences of which, as she herself admits, she had to fix for a long time. In any case, she is now an adult self-sufficient person, and does not need to impose someone else’s opinion. Yes, it would be worth letting go of old grievances – but not at the cost of repeating traumatic experiences from the past,” Irina Matveeva sums up.

Most of the commenters sided with the author and some of them even suggested that she offer her sister $100 to miss the wedding

People in the comments were also massively supportive of the original poster, noting that this is her own wedding and it’s up to her to decide who will stand by her side on the big day. “The people standing next to you on your special day should be the people you feel supported by,” some commenters simply wrote.

Image credits: RODNAE Productions (not the actual photo)

The commenters are also surprised that the parents are forcing their opinion and role on the OP for the twin, even though she sent her an invitation anyway. According to people, the sister is now simply trying to manipulate the opinions of both the author and their parents. “Family is a privilege, not a right,” the commenters note. Well, someone even suggested that the OP promise her twin a hundred dollars for not attending the wedding ceremony…

By the way, weddings are often the source of incredibly weird stories – like this one about the ‘guestzilla’ who ordered fast food straight to the reception. And you might also like this post of ours about a relative who began to weave intrigues behind the backs of the newlyweds, and then, as if nothing had happened, turned to the groom for help with his work. And, of course, we’re already looking forward to your comments on this particular tale.

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What do you think ?
Xenon
Community Member
1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

To the ones who told her to offer her $100 to pretend to be sick and not come, brilliant!!

Baleygr
Community Member
4 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah. Brilliant to think it's in any way or form cool to behave like a 15 years old about to turn 16 when you're an adult and about to marry.

Load More Replies...
Hphizzle
Community Member
1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My favorite was the end of the first comment: “Anyone that knows us won’t be surprised. Anyone who is surprised doesn’t know us well enough for us to care about their opinion.” This should be posted on every wedding planning site. Simple and to the point.

Paulo Freitas
Community Member
1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is the type os s**t that pisses me off, certain gestores, or words, " ohhh it was só long ago, you should let it go ", " oh i was in a bad mood só i took it out on you ", " you know Im a hot head, and i didn't mean it " lol, all i can say about these type of escuses is f**k you, i don't forget what people say to me, nor what they do to me, it doesn't matter if it was yesterday or f*****g 10 years ago, i may pretend i forgot and " eat the frog " because i have to, but sure as f**k didn't, and you can be sure that Im gonna remember you what you Said to me even if Im on my death bead but sure as f**k that i WILL remember you.

Jack S
Community Member
1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Exactly. People who say and do s**t like those quotes are perpetrators of emotional abuse. Whether they know it or not.

Load More Replies...
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Xenon
Community Member
1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

To the ones who told her to offer her $100 to pretend to be sick and not come, brilliant!!

Baleygr
Community Member
4 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah. Brilliant to think it's in any way or form cool to behave like a 15 years old about to turn 16 when you're an adult and about to marry.

Load More Replies...
Hphizzle
Community Member
1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My favorite was the end of the first comment: “Anyone that knows us won’t be surprised. Anyone who is surprised doesn’t know us well enough for us to care about their opinion.” This should be posted on every wedding planning site. Simple and to the point.

Paulo Freitas
Community Member
1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is the type os s**t that pisses me off, certain gestores, or words, " ohhh it was só long ago, you should let it go ", " oh i was in a bad mood só i took it out on you ", " you know Im a hot head, and i didn't mean it " lol, all i can say about these type of escuses is f**k you, i don't forget what people say to me, nor what they do to me, it doesn't matter if it was yesterday or f*****g 10 years ago, i may pretend i forgot and " eat the frog " because i have to, but sure as f**k didn't, and you can be sure that Im gonna remember you what you Said to me even if Im on my death bead but sure as f**k that i WILL remember you.

Jack S
Community Member
1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Exactly. People who say and do s**t like those quotes are perpetrators of emotional abuse. Whether they know it or not.

Load More Replies...
Load More Comments
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