“[Am I The Jerk] For Refusing To Support My Sister After Dad Told Her He Regrets Being Her Dad?”
A completely unconditional love might not be real, but it is possible to find something very, very close to it. However, that kind of thing is exceptionally rare to come across, and if you happen to have it, it is wise to hold on to it tight.
Yet, some people are very quick to throw it away when a more exciting opportunity presents itself. For example, one Redditor shared how her dad always loved and supported her sister despite knowing she was her mom’s affair child. But when he helped her find her biological dad, she didn’t hesitate to replace him completely and only came back looking for that same old love when things fell through. Scroll down to read the full story!
More info: Reddit
Taking people who really care about you for granted is a sure way to end up sad and alone
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Image credits: Any Lane (not the actual photo)
A woman had a brother and a half sister who was born out of mom’s affair, which came to light when the sister was 10
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Image credits: Jonathan Borba (not the actual photo)
Even though the dad was aware of the affair, he still loved all his children equally and supported his stepdaughter, offering to help her find her biological dad had she ever wanted to
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Image credits: Jonathan Nenemann (not the actual photo)
When the woman did eventually decide to meet her dad, she quickly replaced her stepdad with him, all the while continuing to use him financially
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Image credits: Ron Lach (not the actual photo)
She asked him to pay for her wedding but refused to let him walk her down the aisle, and when her baby was born, she told her stepdad that it was not his grandchild
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Image credits: CriticalPen7177
When things with her biological dad started to get worse, the woman quickly returned to her stepdad, asking him to take her back, but was rejected as she rejected him
The OP began by sharing that she grew up with two older siblings and their dad, as their mom left them after the revelation of her affair led to a divorce. And yet, despite the poster’s sister, who will be called Donna for this story, coming from that affair, their father loved and supported them all the same.
Some years later, when Donna turned 20, she asked her dad’s help to find her biological father, and he was glad to support her there, too, emphasizing that this did nothing to change their relationship. However, the woman chose not to stay in touch with her biological dad at the time.
They rekindled their relationship 3 years later, and from there on, Donna kept using the man who raised her, having him pay for her bio dad’s hotel and her wedding, but she didn’t want him walking her down the aisle and barely mentioned him in her toast. She even got mad at him for asking to take a picture with her without her other father.
A couple of years later, she also refused to participate in the man’s 60th birthday anniversary, and when she announced her pregnancy, she made it clear that he would not be the child’s grandfather, adding that her ‘real dad’ had adopted her, so she was no longer his kid anyway.
A little more time passed, and Donna’s so-called real dad let her down. Crying, she went back to her stepdad, wanting him to forget about everything that she did and take her right back in. But all he could tell her was that he wished he had left her to her real dad, as she clearly wanted nothing to do with him, and her sibling didn’t want any part of it either.
The commenters were all in agreeance when they pronounced the OP not the jerk of the story. Everyone was really sorry for how Donna broke the poster’s dad’s heart and didn’t hesitate to say that the woman got what she deserved.
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Image credits: Kristina Paukshtite (not the actual photo)
We can’t know for sure why Donna chose to reject the man who raised her like that when he gave her everything she could ask for. However, we can look at some other factors surrounding the situation and try to speculate.
As Joel Hawbaker of Stepdadding.com wrote, biological dads tend to feel threatened when they see stepdads being fully involved in their kids’ lives. It is caused by our territorial behaviors, which are natural reactions that are left over from the distant past when something like this was necessary for our survival.
So, when the biological dad feels like that stepdad might be trying to take his territory, referring to the children as his kids, this instinctively causes some kind of resistance. And while the story with the OP’s dad and sister is a little bit different as the man raised the girl from the start, there might be something more than meets the eye.
As the poster shared, Donna had already been talking to her stepdad for 2 years before telling anyone about it. Moreover, she spent a lot of time with him afterward, and there certainly are details we are not aware of.
So, while we have no way of confirming or denying it, there is likely a pretty good chance that as the bio dad got accustomed to having his daughter around, he started trying to push the stepdad out of the picture, as if reclaiming part of that theoretical territory. But after succeeding in doing so, he might not have seen any more reason to continue on that path, and so, he eventually let her down.
Of course, this theory could be completely wrong. The reality could prove to be something different altogether, and we might never find it out. However, in the end, the most important part of this story is to remember and cherish the people who are there for us because if we take them for granted, as the OP’s sister did with her dad, even they might reach their breaking point and leave you all alone.
What did you think about this story? Do you think the OP’s family was right to reject her sister like that? Tell us all about it in the comments below!
The commenters felt sorry for the woman’s dad and bashed her sister, saying that she got what she deserved
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A Similar situation happened with my sister. Her Bio dad is a complete and total loser and a scumbag, total opposite of our father who is a rock solid man and a good human being. She has a pretty serious disability but our father didn't think twice about taking that on and has been a rock star as far as taking care of her, my mom and me when I was younger and my sister was laid up in the hospital. She decided to try and build a relationship with her Bio dad a few years ago when she was in her late twenties. It only took about 6 months before he was hitting her up for money, a place to sleep, a connect for weed and rides places. When she explained she is on a fixed income (social security) and usually stuck in bed because of an injury or chronic pain he flipped out and screamed at her, insulted her and burned what little bit of a bridge they had built. She was devastated but thankfully didn't disrespect our father like OP.
There is a lesson here. More often then not, if your Bio parent hasn't made an effort to be part of your life when you were growing up then they're probably not worth chasing when you're an adult.
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Donna: “You’re not my real dad and want nothing to do with you anymore. Oh wait, now my real dad sucks. Please take me back”. Dad: “Nope.” Donna: -surprised Pikachu face-
Damn. Given that her biological father lost interest and basically dropped her like a hot potato, I'm guessing the apple didn't fall too far from the tree in Donna's case. She sounds like a miserable excuse for a human being. Cut her out of your lives. She played stupid games and now gets to win stupid prizes.
How can you be so heartless as to break all connections to the man who raised you and has been nothing but a father to you your whole life? She could've kept her bio dad in her life as well, no problem, but there is no reason to just shun her real dad. Yes, the one who raised her is her real dad. She must be a psychopath, no empathy.
More likely a sociopathic narcissist I think…
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I don't understand Donna. Why couldn't she have a relationship with her bio dad without disrespecting the man who was her father for so many years? Donna is a very stupid idiot. Don't be like Donna.
She Donna (done) messed-up and is now finding out that actions have REAL consequences... -_-"
Okay, it is time for me to express some sympathy for Donna here. She grew up believing that one man was her father and then found out that he wasn't. How messed up is that? She deserves a lot of compassion, that she's not getting from her family or from people here.
I try to empathize and see the other persons point of view, but going to be honest here, she is just a b***h..
Hope the Dad reads these comments so he will know how much we all think he is a great guy. Hope Donna reads this so she knows everyone thinks she is the scum of the Earth (though she'd never admit she cares we all think she's scum).
OP is no the AH. Donna is much worse than the AH; Donna, much like her mother, is a b!tch who uses OP's dad whenever it's convenient for her and runs to another man to have her fun.
A Similar situation happened with my sister. Her Bio dad is a complete and total loser and a scumbag, total opposite of our father who is a rock solid man and a good human being. She has a pretty serious disability but our father didn't think twice about taking that on and has been a rock star as far as taking care of her, my mom and me when I was younger and my sister was laid up in the hospital. She decided to try and build a relationship with her Bio dad a few years ago when she was in her late twenties. It only took about 6 months before he was hitting her up for money, a place to sleep, a connect for weed and rides places. When she explained she is on a fixed income (social security) and usually stuck in bed because of an injury or chronic pain he flipped out and screamed at her, insulted her and burned what little bit of a bridge they had built. She was devastated but thankfully didn't disrespect our father like OP.
There is a lesson here. More often then not, if your Bio parent hasn't made an effort to be part of your life when you were growing up then they're probably not worth chasing when you're an adult.
Load More Replies... Donna: “You’re not my real dad and want nothing to do with you anymore. Oh wait, now my real dad sucks. Please take me back”. Dad: “Nope.” Donna: -surprised Pikachu face-
Damn. Given that her biological father lost interest and basically dropped her like a hot potato, I'm guessing the apple didn't fall too far from the tree in Donna's case. She sounds like a miserable excuse for a human being. Cut her out of your lives. She played stupid games and now gets to win stupid prizes.
How can you be so heartless as to break all connections to the man who raised you and has been nothing but a father to you your whole life? She could've kept her bio dad in her life as well, no problem, but there is no reason to just shun her real dad. Yes, the one who raised her is her real dad. She must be a psychopath, no empathy.
More likely a sociopathic narcissist I think…
Load More Replies... I don't understand Donna. Why couldn't she have a relationship with her bio dad without disrespecting the man who was her father for so many years? Donna is a very stupid idiot. Don't be like Donna.
She Donna (done) messed-up and is now finding out that actions have REAL consequences... -_-"
Okay, it is time for me to express some sympathy for Donna here. She grew up believing that one man was her father and then found out that he wasn't. How messed up is that? She deserves a lot of compassion, that she's not getting from her family or from people here.
I try to empathize and see the other persons point of view, but going to be honest here, she is just a b***h..
Hope the Dad reads these comments so he will know how much we all think he is a great guy. Hope Donna reads this so she knows everyone thinks she is the scum of the Earth (though she'd never admit she cares we all think she's scum).
OP is no the AH. Donna is much worse than the AH; Donna, much like her mother, is a b!tch who uses OP's dad whenever it's convenient for her and runs to another man to have her fun.
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