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Couple Conflicted As Man Demands Wife Give Her Daughter’s Savings To His Son, She Flat Out Refuses
No matter which relation it is, the topic of money is quite sensitive. Especially within families, money can either break or make ties, so it’s always better to set financial boundaries in order to protect what rightfully belongs to you or the person you intend it for.
Just look at the original poster (OP), who has saved an education fund for her daughter along with her ex. The trouble is, her husband is demanding half of it for his son as he doesn’t have any savings, but drama erupted when she refused!
More info: Reddit
RELATED:
It’s important to set up financial boundaries in any relationship, or things could take a bad turn
Image credits: Mikhail Nilov / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The poster set up an education fund for her 15-year-old daughter, along with her ex-husband, and they still put money in it
Image credits: anonymous
Image credits: user4455122 / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Her current husband and his ex-wife didn’t save anything, so their 18-year-old son has to take out loans for college
Image credits: anonymous
Image credits: Timur Weber / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Her husband demanded that she give half of her daughter’s fund to her stepson and threw a fit when she refused
Image credits: anonymous
He kept pestering her about it and got angry as she kept refusing, as it’s only for her daughter and nobody else is entitled to it
In today’s story, we will dive into a family drama that centered around the education fund OP set up for her 15-year-old daughter. She and her ex-husband have been putting money into it for a long time and have $73,000 saved for her college. On the contrary, her current husband has an 18-year-old son who has to take out loans for college as his parents did not save anything for him.
Now, folks, this is where the problem starts, as one day, her husband mentioned that she should give half of that education fund to his son as he needs it now, while the woman’s daughter still has a few years. Of course, our poster refused and clarified that she had been saving the money longer than they had even been together, and her daughter is aware that the money is for her and nobody else is entitled to it.
Well, the man laughed it off as a joke but later broached the topic again and acted more demanding this time, stressing that his son has debt. He even claimed that the poster had an obligation to help him, but when she pointed out that she never signed up for it, he said that she didn’t love him.
In a huff, he drove off, but when he did return, he apologized to his wife. She probably thought that was the end of it, but unfortunately, he again brought up the topic. This time as well, the poster refused, and again, he got angry with her. The poster might have been tired of it all, so she vented online and sought advice from netizens.
Image credits: jcomp / Freepik (not the actual photo)
It has been observed that 30% of all U.S. adults have taken out a student loan at some point in their lives, and 40% of adults who pursued postsecondary education have been in student loan debt. Managing studies and paying off loans is not an easy feat, so it’s no wonder that OP and her ex planned ahead and saved for their daughter’s college education.
Folks online pointed out that it was very unfair of her husband to bombard her with this demand. They said that he should have been more responsible and saved up in advance rather than fight with his wife because of his lack of planning. Many even applauded the poster for standing her ground and refusing to share the money with him, while some even said that she should have drawn financial boundaries sooner.
Research suggests, “Financial boundaries should be viewed as a positive step towards protecting your financial and mental health, as well as your relationships with those closest to you. Without implementing financial boundaries and learning to say no gracefully, you might find yourself being stretched too thin both emotionally and financially.”
It looks like saying no to her husband was a healthy step that the poster took for herself. Many people couldn’t hold back from calling out her husband, who had the audacity to be angry with her. They said that he was just trying to intimidate the poster with his anger, and they expressed that his son is not her responsibility.
What did you make of the story? Would you have done the same thing if you were in the poster’s shoes? Let us know in the comments below!
Folks felt that the husband was trying to manipulate her with his anger, and they applauded her for standing her ground
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What do you think ?
🇺🇦 🇵🇸 TribbleThinking 1 year ago
Tell him that he's "too serious" about going after a literal child's money and he's guilty of "not loving his son" enough to even save a dollar over 18 years.
🇺🇦 🇵🇸 TribbleThinking 1 year ago
If there's any property or assets involved, I'd get her will updated pretty sharpish as any wills written before the marriage are nullified by the marriage and this is not a man who is going to help her daughter or leave anything to her. Get certificated copies made and leave them with trusted people.
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Janelle Collard 1 year ago
Dang, I hope so! OP doesn't need this a**h*** in her life.
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Michael MacKinnon 1 year ago
So, for the US readers (I assume): tell us -- can anyone **other** than the named beneficiary use the money from one of these (529?) funds? And since the fund in question is joint between the mom and her ex...could she even take money out for someone else's child?
Princess Possum 1 year ago
No, you can't. A 529 is set up specifically for the student, and when they apply to college and have to fill out financial forms, the student lists the 529 as income on their form. Parents aren't allowed to. So it would be illegal for her to take money from her daughter's 529 to give to someone else.
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Mark Childers 1 year ago
I wonder what he'd do if the roles were reversed.I doubt he would hand over half of his son's money for his stepdaughter.
Libstak 1 year ago (edited)
If he want's half then he wants everything she has contributed for her daughter, meaning her daughter gets nothing from her despite all the years of effort she made to contribute. He may even believe he has a right funds her father contributed if mum has paid less than half into that fund. He can go kick rocks, this is straight up a money grab of the daughters money that he has zero right to even look at.
General Anaesthesia 1 year ago
Not exactly, to quote OP: "He brought up the idea of splitting my daughter's college fund with his son ... so he thought I could take out half of what I put in to give to him." The rest of your comment is spot on.
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Schmebulock 1 year ago
There is no chance this is the first time in 6 years he has acted like this. He is garbage and she should never have married him, but now it's time for a divorce. The resentment that has now been built will only fester and grow.
BrownEyedPanda 1 year ago
OP should tell her husband, "The answer is NO, now and hereafter. Unless you've decided that our marriage is no more, do NOT bring it up again!" Then walk away. If he makes the mistake of sending his flying monkeys to abuse and guilt-trip her into changing her mind, serve him divorce papers. I don't think that the judge will look too kindly towards someone on a mission to take money from a child, especially one who isn't his own.
Shane Kane 1 year ago
NTA not even a little. Your ex and you separated amicably which is great i wish that would happen way more often. You both continue to be great parents looking after your daughters future and have a great start at it. Why is his poor planning even remotely your fault? Then acts like a petulant child when you say no to a ridiculous question. Tell him he has to ask your ex in person as he is contributing as well and see what he has to say about it. Perhaps after that fun chat perhaps he will stop asking.
JayWantsACat 1 year ago
I've never been married so can't really speak to how people should react to someone who says things like the husband said to her. But I don't think I'd put up with that s**t and let someone who is supposed to love and be committed to me disrespect me like that.
margaret carradus 10 months ago
Talk about entitlement! He may as well ask the next door neighbour. If you choose to contribute something from now on that is your choice, but as you only have a one third interest in your daughter's money anyway you could never offer up her money. How long has your husband been thinking about this? It makes you feel like a cash cow. Tell him straight off it won't be happening and if this is enough to end the marriage it wasn't much of a marriage in the first place.
Ruth Watry 1 year ago
Stand firm. If your ex put more than half in place, you are giving away your ex's money. If each of you put in half, you would be giving your step-son 100% of the money you put away for your daughter. Husband and his ex could have put money away, and they did not. It is 100% their fault that he needs to take out loans
Tom De Paul 1 year ago
Here's THE answer -- you to him: "the next word you say about this to me and it's over between us. Other than that, how was your day?" No is a complete sentence.
Betsy S 1 year ago
Blows me away all these people saying the parents have had 18 yrs to save for their son. The son has also had 5 yrs or more to start saving for college if he wanted to go. If he doesn't want to go badly enough to save for it, then don't go. Just go get a job. It's nice if the parents are wealthy enough to help out, but the lion's share should come from the student. They don't appreciate college and apply themselves fully unless they're paying for it through their own hard effort, not relying on mummy and daddy.
🇺🇦 🇵🇸 TribbleThinking 1 year ago
Tell him that he's "too serious" about going after a literal child's money and he's guilty of "not loving his son" enough to even save a dollar over 18 years.
🇺🇦 🇵🇸 TribbleThinking 1 year ago
If there's any property or assets involved, I'd get her will updated pretty sharpish as any wills written before the marriage are nullified by the marriage and this is not a man who is going to help her daughter or leave anything to her. Get certificated copies made and leave them with trusted people.
Load More Replies... Janelle Collard 1 year ago
Dang, I hope so! OP doesn't need this a**h*** in her life.
Load More Replies... Michael MacKinnon 1 year ago
So, for the US readers (I assume): tell us -- can anyone **other** than the named beneficiary use the money from one of these (529?) funds? And since the fund in question is joint between the mom and her ex...could she even take money out for someone else's child?
Princess Possum 1 year ago
No, you can't. A 529 is set up specifically for the student, and when they apply to college and have to fill out financial forms, the student lists the 529 as income on their form. Parents aren't allowed to. So it would be illegal for her to take money from her daughter's 529 to give to someone else.
Load More Replies... Mark Childers 1 year ago
I wonder what he'd do if the roles were reversed.I doubt he would hand over half of his son's money for his stepdaughter.
Libstak 1 year ago (edited)
If he want's half then he wants everything she has contributed for her daughter, meaning her daughter gets nothing from her despite all the years of effort she made to contribute. He may even believe he has a right funds her father contributed if mum has paid less than half into that fund. He can go kick rocks, this is straight up a money grab of the daughters money that he has zero right to even look at.
General Anaesthesia 1 year ago
Not exactly, to quote OP: "He brought up the idea of splitting my daughter's college fund with his son ... so he thought I could take out half of what I put in to give to him." The rest of your comment is spot on.
Load More Replies... Schmebulock 1 year ago
There is no chance this is the first time in 6 years he has acted like this. He is garbage and she should never have married him, but now it's time for a divorce. The resentment that has now been built will only fester and grow.
BrownEyedPanda 1 year ago
OP should tell her husband, "The answer is NO, now and hereafter. Unless you've decided that our marriage is no more, do NOT bring it up again!" Then walk away. If he makes the mistake of sending his flying monkeys to abuse and guilt-trip her into changing her mind, serve him divorce papers. I don't think that the judge will look too kindly towards someone on a mission to take money from a child, especially one who isn't his own.
Shane Kane 1 year ago
NTA not even a little. Your ex and you separated amicably which is great i wish that would happen way more often. You both continue to be great parents looking after your daughters future and have a great start at it. Why is his poor planning even remotely your fault? Then acts like a petulant child when you say no to a ridiculous question. Tell him he has to ask your ex in person as he is contributing as well and see what he has to say about it. Perhaps after that fun chat perhaps he will stop asking.
JayWantsACat 1 year ago
I've never been married so can't really speak to how people should react to someone who says things like the husband said to her. But I don't think I'd put up with that s**t and let someone who is supposed to love and be committed to me disrespect me like that.
margaret carradus 10 months ago
Talk about entitlement! He may as well ask the next door neighbour. If you choose to contribute something from now on that is your choice, but as you only have a one third interest in your daughter's money anyway you could never offer up her money. How long has your husband been thinking about this? It makes you feel like a cash cow. Tell him straight off it won't be happening and if this is enough to end the marriage it wasn't much of a marriage in the first place.
Ruth Watry 1 year ago
Stand firm. If your ex put more than half in place, you are giving away your ex's money. If each of you put in half, you would be giving your step-son 100% of the money you put away for your daughter. Husband and his ex could have put money away, and they did not. It is 100% their fault that he needs to take out loans
Tom De Paul 1 year ago
Here's THE answer -- you to him: "the next word you say about this to me and it's over between us. Other than that, how was your day?" No is a complete sentence.
Betsy S 1 year ago
Blows me away all these people saying the parents have had 18 yrs to save for their son. The son has also had 5 yrs or more to start saving for college if he wanted to go. If he doesn't want to go badly enough to save for it, then don't go. Just go get a job. It's nice if the parents are wealthy enough to help out, but the lion's share should come from the student. They don't appreciate college and apply themselves fully unless they're paying for it through their own hard effort, not relying on mummy and daddy.
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