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How often do men cry? Do they actually like late-night chats? Does height really matter to them? And what about something as simple as hugs or compliments?
Conversations around masculinity in the past few years have often skewed toward the problematic side of the story. There’s the manosphere and incel communities, and we frequently see headlines about boys retreating into misogynistic corners of the internet.
So, when there’s a thread where men are talking about what actually makes them feel loved, or what they secretly appreciate in relationships… it stands out like a splash of color in a grayscale timeline.
Women online asked men a whole lot of questions they’d always wanted the answers to but were “too embarrassed” to ask, and the replies are too darn wholesome.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Is it true that men can’t be 'just friends' with women?
DryBicycle:
Don't trust any man that says that. It means he isn't your friend or just playing some bizarre 'nice guy' game. Men and women can definitely be friends with no underlying conditions or attraction.
StrangeOne 55 minutes ago
It is true. I've had friends have guy friends who weren't romantically attracted to each other at all. They viewed each other like siblings. Untouchable. Trust no guy who says anything along the lines "All men are the same. We just say what you want to hear to get into your pants."
RELATED:
#2
Are you as judgmental over our bodies as we are?
NormalAdultMale:
Not even remotely close. Women are brutal about that stuff.
StrangeOne 58 minutes ago
I never ask another woman if something looks good on me. I like what I wear. I know my own body. I can see in the mirror how it looks on me. I used to have a t-shirt I loved to wear. It formed my body nicely. The neckline, though mid, was straight-ish, then the shoulders of the sleeves came down and over the side corners of the front. A now ex-friend saw it on me and reacted weird about it, but vague. I hate those kinds of reactions. Just "Uh... okay? You're wearing that?" Me: "Yeah, I like it. Doesn't it look cool?" Her: "Um....It actually looks odd...." Me: "Why?" Her: " Well..........." Like, spit it out already. If you got something to say, say it. Otherwise, shut your trap and keep it to yourself.
Hiding behind a screen gives people a certain sense of anonymity, which removes much of the social pressure. That’s why people in this thread didn’t feel like they had to hold back at all.
Studies show that when someone answers personal or awkward questions online, they are statistically more likely to be honest and open than in a face-to-face situation. It’s a phenomenon called the online disinhibition effect.
There’s no awkward eye contact and no fear of being judged in the moment.
It’s why someone might casually admit online how often they cry without overthinking how it sounds, or confess that they love late-night chats and random hugs.
Basically, the same conditions that create trolls and toxicity online can also create honesty.
#3
How often do men want to be hugged?
Does it feels clingy, if a girl offers it every now and then?
Crionso:
I don’t know how many guys I speak for but for me being hugged by a girl you’re dating or are close with is like getting permission to relax and be happy.
Michael P (Perthaussieguy) 38 minutes ago
I love hugs!!! Invading my personal space is not as much of a big deal as it is for women.
#4
What do you think of fatherhood? Do you think the treatment of fatherhood is fair compared to motherhood?
anonymous:
I hate that when I am solo parenting it's considered "baby sitting." "oH, you'RE letTTInG dAD wAtCH hER?!"
For men, anonymity isn’t only about free speech, though. It bypasses masculinity norms.
Men often find it challenging to open up offline because society has conditioned them to believe that vulnerability is a sign of weakness.
In a recent survey, around 42% of men said fear of embarrassment stops them from opening up about their feelings. And 39% said they feel uncomfortable talking about emotions.
About 19% of them said they find it easier to reveal their emotions written down than they do in person.
#5
How much does height matter to you in terms of attraction?
ThrowAwayTheBS122132:
Preferences are there, of course. However, as far as height is concerned, it’s so, so down below on the list. So much so that it’s practically impossible that I’d turn down a potential partner I’m otherwise very compatible with solely based on her height.
#6
Is it true you really get random b*ners?
Soangry75:
Yes. Distressingly often as a teen, but even later on it happens.
#7
Is your org*sm better with oral or vaginal s*x?
guygeneric:
The quality of org*sm essentially has nothing to do with the medium of acquisition and everything to do with the physical and mental state I'm in.
Michael P (Perthaussieguy) 30 minutes ago
Yup. I've had some better orgasms through m**********n than physically with a woman who is not in tune with the moment.
Research shows that traditional masculinity socializes men to believe they should solve problems on their own and stay emotionally strong.
Being aggressive, physically strong, and emotionally closed-off tends to get more points than being loving or compassionate.
This push for self-reliance often fuels the whole ‘silent, stoic man’ stereotype.
“We tell boys that ‘boys don't cry.’ We condition boys from a very young age to not express emotion, because to express emotion is to be ‘weak,’” says Colman O’Driscoll, former executive director of operations and development at Lifeline, an Australian charity.
It can ultimately lead to higher stress and poorer overall mental health because some men may end up repressing feelings like sadness, or even love.
Studies show that men are also more likely to use maladaptive coping (like shutting down or self‑medicating) instead of talking things through.
Research from the World Health Organization and other groups shows that many men see asking for help, even from a friend, as threatening to their autonomy and masculinity. It’s like admitting they’re struggling might suddenly make them less of a man in their own head.
And the more a man endorses such traditional masculine ideals, the less likely he is to even think about getting mental health support.
#8
Do men like it when females (friend/girlfriend) tell you they feel safe around you?
FTW_Studios:
Very much so. If you want to make a man’s heart melt you tell him that.
#9
What are the big signs that a man is dangerous to be around, in your opinion? Like, the signs women might miss (either because we aren’t around when men in our lives display them, or for other reasons)?
OkieTaco:
If they're too clingy or a bit too controlling. Clingy can also be a sign of an awkward guy, so that’s a little harder. But if they try to control your every little move, that’s a big red flag.
DrBronxx 25 minutes ago
One sign is the jokes /comments they make when women aren't around. Some people don't censor themselves at all (for better or worse, you know what you're getting with those people). Others won't say what they consider to be rude language/topics in front of women in the name of good manners (good intentions, but potentially misguided). Then there are those who come out with the misogynist, racist and other ~ist comments. Those guys are very s****y people. Sadly, for women to be able to identify these men, they already need to know and trust men to find out for them.
#10
Do you feel like it's hard to cry or show emotion?
Keiretsu_Inc:
It's not hard to do, but it's easy to suppress, and I hate other people knowing about it — it's none of their business, and nothing feels worse than pity!
This is where online anonymity hands men a little emotional parachute. It removes fear of judgment and the pressure to appear “strong.”
People who feel self-conscious may also feel less vulnerable online.
Threads that start as casual Q&As about awkward things — favorite quirks or thoughts on relationships — quickly turn into something strangely wholesome. The anonymity lets the conversation breathe in ways offline life rarely does.
#11
What do women unintentionally do or say that hurts your feelings?
Bonn2:
Downplaying our emotions. If a guy mentions their emotions to you, it's usually a sign of trust.
#12
What does and er*ction feel like?
OkSir4079:
That depends on which type. Morning wood is a way different type than, say, a b*ner induced by the s*xual partner. Some are super ridged and feel hot, while others feel wide and heavy. I guess some are kinda 'meh' OK then, I suppose. It has multiple personalities, I guess you could say.
#13
Is it true that guys generally hesitate or avoid going up to and talking women that are super attractive? I mean like a 9 or a 10/10? Is attractiveness/appearance something that makes you stall when “shooting your shot”?
xedralya:
I haven't seen any other responses that mention this, so I'll throw it out there - I've had more than one attractive friend bemoan her lack of male attention when she goes out, but she also keeps herself surrounded by a pack of five or six friends at all times. Sometimes it's less about your beauty being intimidating and more about "Do I have to walk up to this whole group and have eight people judge me instead of just one?"
In conversations like these, the gendered dynamics of the platform matter too.
Men often post more assertively and women often comment more supportively, studies show. Also, women’s posts tend to get more positive engagement even when they’re less frequent.
For example, in this thread, women’s supportive and positive responses helped keep the discussion calm and encouraging, rather than chaotic or performative.
It created a feedback loop: men felt safe sharing vulnerability, women felt validated for asking their questions, and the end result was a wholesome conversation.
#14
Do you ever worry about what your friends think of the attractiveness of your girlfriend/wife? Like are you ever worried that people you know don’t find her good looking or judge you for being with her?
(This question is obviously coming straight from my insecurities lol.).
saddestclaps:
I actually did have this fear with my last girlfriend. She was a bigger girl and I wasn't really concerned about what they thought, but just didn't want anyone being judgmental toward her. It's hard to explain, I wasn't ashamed of her or anything, just hate the thought of people judging her by her appearance.
TotallyNOTAFox 2 hours ago
We guys are more judgemental about character and personality in that regard
#15
What do you want a woman to say to you if she likes you? In terms of confessing her feelings or expressing interest?
thylocene06:
I’m so damn oblivious and basically never even think a girl might be interested in me. Please be direct and just ask me if I’d like to go on a date.
Zsolt Hegedűs 2 hours ago
Even if they say they like me, I just assume this is a prank or some kind of trick. Sorry, I'm so awkward and insecure ;^;
#16
I've always wondered if they see our bodies as ugly squishy bread rolls the way we think we look while while having s*x.
blorbschploble:
Dude. While having s*x, many of us will be attracted enough to you to literally lick you all over. Calm down :)
There’s a reason threads like this feel so refreshing — especially right now, when the rest of the internet feels like a highlight reel of division and negativity.
Research shows only a small percentage of men actually fall into the most extreme “toxic masculinity” profiles. But the loudest voices online tend to be the angriest and the most negative, because that kind of content spreads fast.
So, when a guy admits he actually enjoys good‑morning texts or being the small spoon while cuddling, it feels genuinely human in a space that usually feels anything but.
#17
What are some of your thoughts on girls making the first move?
fortifier22:
If there's at least proof that the guy has a crush on you or at least has an interest in you, I think it's amazing that a woman would want to take charge and show how much they like someone.
#18
What makes you want to commit ( be exclusive, or get married) does it have anything to do with your partner or more of “ I have to be ready within myself first” ?
Langhof:
For me, it was needing to feel like I had personally matured enough to be committed. I didn’t want to commit to someone who was clearly ready to commit to me if I wasn’t ready and could somehow end up wasting their time.
#19
Did your friends actually invited me or are you just being nice to not make me feel left out?
aesoth:
It all depends on the relationship. If you are chill, don't make everything about you, or kick up a huge fuss then I am usually fine with you.
What gets you uninvited to the next gathering is if you make a big deal out of nothing (if something actually serious happened, it's fine to freak) or have to be the centre of attention.
One of my buddies brought this girl along to a movie and she talked on her phone the whole time. Uninvited. The next girl came out for supper with us and started crying and freaking out because her favourite Instagram model shut down their page. Uninvited. The next girl got a call that her brother was hit by a car. Totally justifiable freak out, we dropped everything and took her to the hospital.
It’s easy to think gender norms are permanent — like they’re carved into how we are or how we act. But research shows that’s absolutely not the case.
Over the past several decades, what counts as “masculine” or “feminine” has shifted big time in everyday life.
Experts talk about gender as something dynamic, something that can grow and evolve over a lifetime, not just a fixed box you’re born into.
Online spaces are literally where these new norms are being tested, talked about, challenged and reshaped.
And that is exactly why threads where people talk honestly about how they feel are so important. Whether it’s the men admitting they enjoy things they’d never say out loud, or women asking intimate questions they’re too shy to ask IRL, the conversation feels quietly powerful.
#20
To men who spam d**k pics at women, no judgment here, but I honestly want to know. What's the best outcome you've ever experienced from doing that? Like what's the end game there?
DarthDregan:
I always imagined the guys who do that are just hoping to skip the whole dating thing and just f**k.
I've sent literally one d**k pic in my life and it was requested. Just seems rude to me.
#21
If a woman was physically unappealing but really smart, funny, kind, basically ticked all the personality boxes, would you be attracted to her?
KaiWolf1898:
Personality goes a long way, but if I really couldn't get over her appearance and just did not find her good-looking at all, I wouldn't be attracted.
The upside is, every man's definition of what is "good-looking" is different, so there is someone for everyone.
DrBronxx 6 minutes ago
This is a hard question to answer, I think. People say looks aren't important, but physical attraction is important to a certain extent, at the very least in the beginning. It's the difference between a platonic friend and a romantic partner - the difference between wanting to just hang out and wanting to start a relationship.
#22
Can you feel our boobies when we hug?
theatrethreads:
Depends on the size, but yeah for the most part we can
We live in a society where most of us still struggle to talk honestly about how we feel, especially across the gender lines we’ve grown up with. But the more we see conversations where vulnerability isn’t mocked but welcomed, the more it allows us to be open and curious with one another.
For sure, there are trolls and angry corners of the web, but there are also spaces where people actually listen and share real experiences. And this matters because the way we communicate online eventually shapes how we communicate offline too.
#23
What happens to your balls when you run? Are they just banging around? Do they stick between your thighs? Do they end up tucked? Ive been dying to know, thanks.
LemonWaluigi:
The nutsack isn't always floppy. It scrunches up or loosens. They don't flop when scrunched.
Also Underwear keeps it in place.
TotallyNOTAFox 2 hours ago (edited)
They are also not that loose that they flop around much like that anyways
#24
What does it feel like to run with no underwear on. Does it just flop around? Does it hurt? Does the bouncing get you going?
untakenname3:
It kinda flops around, it doesn’t hurt and the bouncing doesn’t get me going.
#25
What do you think about c section scars? I have one and I think it's ugly, it juts out and there's a shelf. I'm otherwise quite fit looking, I'm just self conscious about it.
JeffTheComposer:
I’ve always thought scars are bad*ss. They’re like tattoos except they’re earned instead of bought. Any cool character in a fantasy movie has some wild scar and that’s how you know that character kicks a*s.
My wife’s c section scar isn’t even big or anything, surgeons were on their game, but even if it was big, it just means she did all the work to make our son. She’s that bad*ss character in my movie.
#26
I know this isn't all men (obviously), why is a lot of men obsessed with redheads? I've had heard since I was in high school how amazing redheads are to date.
Stradoverius:
We don't know, dude. I like redheads too and I have no idea why. Pretty orange color make monkey brain go ding.
Zsolt Hegedűs 2 hours ago
Maybe because they're so rare? I mean there's much less of them around where I live than blondes or brunettes
#27
What do you consider a high quality woman? (Too afraid to ask because I do not believe I have ever been considered *the one*).
MGsubbie:
Someone who's mastered the form of interdependence. Someone who is capable, doesn't need my help, realizes that she doesn't need my help, but still accepts it regardless.
Kind and empathic, treats everybody with respect, but doesn't take sh*t from anyone (including myself) and stands up for herself.
Knows what she wants and isn't afraid to ask and communicate, but doesn't do it in a demanding way.
#28
How often do you really cry? What makes you cry?
anonymous:
Very rarely. Sometimes really NEED to cry but the tears just won't come.
TotallyNOTAFox 1 hour ago
I think the universal thing that makes everyone cry is a pet that needs to be put down
#29
I’m with someone who buys me flowers to make me smile - what would be something I could do similarly for him that is nons*xual that would brighten his day?
wamj:
Bringing me coffee, giving me a random hug, rubbing my back when we watch shows are ways my wife does it. I make her breakfast and get her coffee too. It's not an everyday thing just random acts of love and kindness. I'm not much of a gifter though so I think I fail in that department.
DrBronxx 1 minute ago
This really depends on the person. For me, it's when my wife gives me time to do what I want to do, especially when I'm tired and under a lot of stress. It usually means us hanging out together, because that's what I want to do, but other times it means going to play golf or something like taking the nap. Basically, my wife enabling my own self-care is the best thing she can do. Bonus - it costs her nothing but time.
#30
Do you guys wipe after you go pee? Or do you just shake it, assume it’s good, then put it back in your pants?? Doesn’t that leave a little bit of pee in the tip? Why would you do that instead of just taking a bit of toilet paper and dabbing your ween?
anon:
No matter how much you wiggle and dance, the very last drop goes down your pants.
Zsolt Hegedűs 2 hours ago
I use toilet paper and still can't get rid of the last drop. God, we'll have a talk after I'm dead
#31
From my significant other "what does my p*ssy feel like"
_KFBR392KFBR392_:
In the winter, stand around in your house naked, to the point where you are uncomfortably cold. Then, pull a HUGE pile of clothes fresh out of the dryer and climb inside the pile.
#32
What makes you really like a girl?
anon:
If she laughs at my jokes. A cute laugh/smile is a huge plus.
#33
Are all b**bies good b**bies?
bartbartholomew:
The best b**bs are b**bs I can touch. The second best b**bs are b**bs I can look at. In a distant third are how big they are. Personally, I love itty bitty t**ties. I know a lot of guys prefer huge b**bs.
But all of us prefer all b**bs we can touch over all b**bs we can't touch.
#34
Do y'all enjoy late night chats as much as girls do or it annoys y'all if it's very often?
MisterKillam:
Sometimes my wife asks me about something I'm really interested in or passionate about late at night and I have to point out that she is knocking on the door of a 2 hour PowerPoint presentation and she's got work in the morning.
Lost Panda 1 hour ago
Depends, were you silent all the way up until we decided to go to bed and then start having a full blown conversation, or was it a conversation that ran long? There's a difference.
#35
When you have to pee and p**p at the same time, do you pee standing and then sit or sit for both?
untakenname3:
Sit for both.
#36
Do guys really appreciate a woman that makes the move? Whether you are newly dating or married for years?
I want him to feel wanted by me and I want to convey that.
Or do guys feel it could threaten them a little bit? I know it sounds weird and maybe old school but I have always wondered what the answer is.
Thanks!
SlenderSpade:
Appreciate? most of us are desperate for that. Also, I am not sure about the accuracy of this statement but the relationships where the women made the first move according to stats 86% of them ended in marriages. Also, it feels great to be wanted by someone when all your life you have been doing for everyone else.
#37
Do you play with your balls like we play with our t**s? Like juggle ‘em and stuff. Or is that too painful? What is the action that actually hurts balls!? Is there anything you think it compares to in female anatomy? What does it feel like to get hit accidentally (not kicked purposefully but like - flicked, etc) in the balls??
NormalAdultMale:
What hurts the balls is sudden pressure.
For example, if I am running away from my neighbor Jim who just caught me s**tting in his lawn, my balls are gently slapping against my leg, which does not hurt. However, when Jim catches me and kicks me in the balls, that is a very sudden application of a very high amount of pressure - which hurts quite a lot.
What does it feel like to get hit accidentally (not kicked purposefully but like - flicked, etc) in the balls??
A sharp and intense pain that radiates into the lower abdomen. If I had to describe it, it'd be like a super intense and sharp stomache ache. On the balls themselves - you probably know already. Haven't you ever taken a hit to the ovaries or kidney? Its pain to an organ.
#38
Does a woman’s height matter? What about weight? Is using urinals when they’re all full but there’s one left, is it awkward? Do you mind a little hair down there (even if it’s nicely trimmed and short)?
ThisManDoesTheReddit:
As a tall guy a woman taller than me would be weird at first but not an issue. Honestly I think there is no difference between men and women when it comes to their partners weight, some people don't care at all but most people probably have a point where they don't find it particularly appealing. And the hair thing really doesn't matter, I prefer less but again it's not an issue.
Lost Panda 1 hour ago
1. Not really 2. Same as the guy above said, everyone is different 3. The skip every other urinal rule only applies in the situation where it can be done. If the only ones open will put you beside someone, it doesn't magically become non-existent. 4. Again personal preference, but most guys I know (myself included) do not care as long as you're hygenic.
#39
Does this subreddit make me look fat?
ThrowAwayTheBS122132:
No, sweetie, now please hurry up Steve said he has already fired up the BBQ.
#40
Are y’all ok? Emotionally? I know men sometimes have a hard time asking for help.
DoctorFandomMD:
I've been struggling, but it's because I've been alone for the past few months. Thanks for asking though!
#41
You like cuddling after s*x just as much as we do, don’t you? Don’t lie.
KingBenjamin97:
Yes and no. Yes I like it, no I don’t want it immediately. We’re both hot and sweaty and you’re literally trying to climb on me to cuddle can’t we cool off for a minute first?
#42
What struggles spring up for you because you are men, and what can be done to fix them, since it isn’t talked about enough?
Also, what is it like having a p***s? Does it get uncomfortable or annoying? Do you wish you didn’t have one or are you relatively proud of them?
iamdubious:
Guys don’t get touched enough. It seems you reach a certain age and we stop giving and getting platonic hugs. It can make us thirsty for physical attention, and can lead to reading too much into friendly contact.
#43
Does it bother you if a girl is smarter/prettier/stronger/makes more money than you?
Langhof:
I don’t think most men would really care in these scenarios. I think it would mostly just be related to insecurity or confidence issues. Men have had this old ideology smashed into our brains that we're supposed to be the strong ones, the providers, and that we die before the women, so get to work.
#44
Do y’all like making your d***s do that bouncing thing?
BigBicNic:
Slapping, spinning, bouncing, all of it. My wife pretends to think it’s funny at least.
Lost Panda 1 hour ago
Sometimes it just happens, but I think it is still controlled by our brain subconsciously
#45
Are you turned off by stubble (nether regions)?
Aliencj:
It depends on whether or not its abrasive during s*x.
#46
When you use the toilet, does your weenie just hang into the toilet? Do you rest it on the seat? Do you ever get p**p splash on your ween?
[deleted]:
Throw it over the left shoulder
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