“The Entitlement Is Staggering”: Woman Shocked After Roommate Demands She Remake Soup For Her BF
Interview With Expert
The key factor that drives us to eat is, of course, hunger. But what we choose to consume is largely determined by our preferences.
For this redditor’s guest, the enemy was broccoli. Unfortunately for him, the host wasn’t going to cater to his aversion, causing a whole fight over a vegetable.
Scroll down to find the full story and a conversation with etiquette consultants Karen Thomas and Julia Esteve Boyd, who kindly agreed to tell us more about food preferences and guests.
What we choose to eat largely depends on our preferences. For this guy the enemy was broccoli
Image credit: Vadymvdrobot/Envato (not the actual photo)
However, the woman hosting him refused to accommodate his aversion, causing a fight over a vegetable
Image credit: Yurakrasil/Envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Big-Expression-7975
What we like to eat comes from a combination of genes and the environment
A food preference expert, Marcia Pelchat, explains that the reason we like what we like comes from a combination of genes and environment. Studies have found that people who dislike cilantro have a shared gene called OR6A2 that increases their sensitivity to the smell of aldehyde chemicals, which the herb and many other soaps contain.
Another way genes determine our response to food is through our noses. In fact, it’s our sense of smell that first makes us distinguish between different flavors. A yellow jelly bean may lead us to believe that it will be banana-flavored, while the scent indicates that it tastes of licorice.
Researchers suggest that unpleasant smells in the mouth could also be why many children dismiss vegetables such as broccoli and cabbage, debunking the idea that they are only fussy eaters. Scientists from Australia found enzymes in such greens that can produce a lingering scent when combined with bacteria in saliva. But while children refuse to consume them, adults learn to tolerate the odor over time.
Alternatively, others who study food preferences say that a person’s favorite meal is largely determined by exposure and memories. Whereas, a lack of familiarity with an ingredient can make an individual more hesitant to try it. For instance, some people may have never tried liver and don’t plan to do so anytime soon.
Guests should never place their food preferences on hosts
Bored Panda reached out to etiquette consultants Karen Thomas and Julia Esteve Boyd, who believe a guest shouldn’t place demands on a host concerning their food preferences. “Rather, the host can offer to order out to accommodate the unexpected guest,” Thomas explains.
Or the visitor can bring an alternative that they can consume. “One simply cannot expect to be overly accommodated with specific food options, especially if the host is not made aware,” she adds.
Boyd’s take on this is, “If a guest complains about the food, the host can try to accommodate, if possible, within the limits of what alternatives they can offer. The host can simply say, ‘It’s a shame you didn’t let me know earlier. I could have prepared an alternative for you. Let me see what I can rustle up for you.’ Not all dishes can be remade, especially at the last minute! I can think of many other responses—not so polite, but a good host will always try to be a good host!”
It’s another thing if the visiting person can’t eat certain things because of medical conditions. Thomas says, “A host should always attempt to accommodate the food allergies of a guest. The guest should tell about their situation at the RSVP stage of accepting the invite. For example: “I’m allergic to or I am a vegan, therefore I am unable to eat (list specifics). This will allow the host to make reasonable accommodations for them and share the menu with them to see if that guest is willing to partake.”
Thomas suggests that people with food allergies follow these easy steps to avoid conflict:
- RSVP immediately upon receiving the invitation and make food allergies/preferences known.
- Make arrangements with a host that are agreeable to both parties.
- If it’s a spontaneous event – the responsibility is on the guest to accommodate their own needs and remain polite to the host, who was uninformed.
While Boyd says, “Not every guest will love every food dish; it’s normal. A polite person will discreetly avoid eating what they don’t like. If a guest seems to be awkward, the host can do their best to offer alternatives when possible. Otherwise, my suggestion would be to make light of the situation, offer extra wine, and try to focus on the more important, less impolite guests so everyone can enjoy the meal. Don’t invite the rude guest again!”
People in the comments wonder why adults are behaving like children and refusing to eat broccoli
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I wish my old roommate made cheesy broccoli potato soup. He just peed in coke cans and hid them behind the sofa.
I have always been somewhat disgustingly amazed when I hear stories about people with penïses who pee into cans/bottles/other containers with small orifices. As someone with female equipment down there, I lack the urinary dexterity. Not that I’d WANT to pee into a Coke can, it’s just grotesquely impressive from a physical standpoint. That being said, I’m sorry you had to go through that XD
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Want to know the funniest thing about this whole craziness? When it comes to Cheesy Potato Soup with Broccoli, you usually can't even taste the broccoli anyways!
I mean... I can't agree with that, but Kyle's opinion is still invalid unless he's going to grow up and cook for himself.
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I don't understand why BP bothered to include comments from etiquette consultants about food and guests. Kyle wasn't OP's guest, he was the roommate's guest.
And the roommate wasn't even a "guest". Just happen to catch the OP while she was making some food for HERSELF and made an offer as any decent roommate would do.
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How on earth is this worthy of scraping from reddit to repost here? Did you guys grab all the half decent aita threads? A thread over soup? Sigh
Threads are like food, some people like it and some people don't. For some folks who don't like it, this might just be their "broccoli".
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My mom hates my hubs cooking. Although if I say I made it she will eat it. She can't have hard foods as she doesn't have bottom teeth. She's 84 and pick af. So I always tell him it has to be soft. Mashed potato's. Boiled carrots. Burgers rare. lol. The foods I want to eat on my days off I sacrifice so I can feed her. Or I'll make something on the side for her. I take care of her on Sundays so that's my job. My sis has her all week as they share a house. My brother doesn't do anything even though he's a few streets over. So I cook Sundays. Do my laundry. Clean my house. Feed and keep her company. Listen to her complain. Alzheimer's an dementia are early stages so she repeats a lot of stuff all day. Last week I ordered lobster rolls from a nice place. She was happy as hell. But also complaining she hates hubs food. I said I would just order her food from now on an then she can't b***h anymore. Ugh. It's hard but I try to make her happy.
Don't forget to take care of yourself, too.
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Next time, OP just ought to make her own soup portion and point Prissy Kris-sy and K(r)yle-baby to the kitchen and tell them to make what they want on their own. Perhaps in future, also separate their groceries for the duration of them staying together in case because K(r)yle-baby sounds like the type that might pilfer people's foodstuff without hesitation. OP would do well to get out of that place if she can because I doubt Prissy Kris-sy will get any easier to live with given how entitled she acts. SMH!!! P.s. On a side note, now I want some cheesy potato broccoli soup too. I normally have broccoli blanched with some light dip but never in soup before. If OP has a portion left, I'd be happy to take it off her and maybe throw in some blanched broccoli and cauliflower with Thousand Island Dressing or even Champ (Irish mashed potatoes) in return XP
I did cook for roommates and friends, but only when we had a system of everyone cooks another day with 4 or six and sometimes a guest. One cooked, the others did the dishes. You just made whatever, nobody whined and especially not the guests and everyone paid 3 guilders (1 euro 36, cheap times). One guy would often call a few hours before dinner and then sheepishly wait until you said: Do you want to join for dinner, because he just divorced and always had to cook his own food. He was really grateful. Later I was with a group where everyone cooked for themselves. The thought wouldn't cross my mind to cook for the boyfriend of a roommate.
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It's been cold and raining, and I want some cheesy potato with broccoli soup now. Op, you're NTA. your roommate and her BF are both adults, whom I could safely assume knows how to make their own meals.
NTA. Your soup sounds awesome! I want some, but I don't have any... Man-baby Kyle expecting everyone to cater to his preferences is TA. If roommate wants Kyle to get the food he wants, SHE can cook it for him, and THEY can pay for the ingredients. I'm a picky eater myself, but I would never get miffed if offered something that I'm not able to eat. I'd just say "Sorry, I'm not hungry", or "I'll just make myself a sandwich, if that's ok?". Unless you haven't RSVP-ed with food allergies or specific eating habits (like vegan or kosher/halal), you eat what you are offered, or politely (and quietly) decline. I doubt that Kyle and Kris RSVP-ed the soup-meal. :D
If you don't like the food... don't eat it! If you go over to someone else's house, unless you have medical reasons to, you eat what's there. If the host wants to accommodate, that's cool. But accommodation doesn't mean "I showed up & don't like the food, change it now."
I was with OP all the way to the penis comment. Why does being entitled have to be linked to having a penis? Are they no choosing beggar women out there? Linking him being choosy to him being a man is a low and unnecessary blow. He's still wrong, but OP is an a*****e.
This, I thought the story was gonna be about some "women should be in the kitchen" thing, but it's just someone complaining about food. Not once does it seem like he brought sex/gender into it, he was just being entitled
Load More Replies... I am an apathetic eater so eat when and what I want to. Once a month I will make a big slow cook and tell the housemates to help themselves. They tend to eat their own things though (usually fried or microwaved) and seem hesitant to eat something that doesn't have carbs in it unless I put baby potatoes in. So after 3 days in fridge, it goes into containers for freezing single portions. They know where to find it if they want it. Just bring me back or wash my containers...
I mean, this isn't even a host/guest situation. they didn't invite him over for a meal. he was visiting his boyfriend, and they, having cooked some for themselves, pretty much said, I've made this soup and if either of you want some, you can have some. they weren't cooking for THOSE TWO. they cooked for themselves and offered to share afterwards. I've been offered things I don't like at other peoples houses before, and I am able to say "no thank you, but thank you for offering"
When I have guests at home I cook what I know they like. But neither the roommate nor her boyfriend are OP's guests, so,there's no reason for her to make the slightest effort. She offered some food out of politeness, that's all. If they don't like what's in it, tough luck. Not her guests, not her problem.
She offered them some soup she'd cooked for herself, it wasn't like she specifically made something for them. You can't call her a 'host', because she wasn't one; she didn't invite this guy over. If she HAD been a host, and had invited him over, then it'd be a different story.
The only thing I'd ask is whether he contributes at all communally. eg: Does he sometimes pay for pizza for everyone or bring beer for everyone or whatever. If he's never contributing then the OP is dead right. If he's contributing in some other way, then maybe she should reconsider. I wonder if he is contributing, but only to his girlfriend. At which point *she* believes he's contributing so deserves a free meal, but she's not passing any benefit on to her roommate.
WTH? The entitlement is strong in both Kris and Kyle to think Op should only cook food how Kyle likes! I think those two have broccoli for brains.
Unless your roommate also cooks special dishes for you, stick to your guns and stop pampering her. Don't continue to escalate the argument over this issue., since it was getting increasingly personal.
You cook soup and a visitor declines to eat the leftovers. Ok. What was the question?
I just think of that Sandra Boynton bedtime book about all the animals in the ark going to bed. "Broccoli stew? Ew! That's for bunny, not for you."
Amazing how everyone is making this one about the guy when it's really about the two women.
How many times are you going to say this? I haven't finished reading all the comments, but me thinks I might find at least one more. A treasure hunt!
Load More Replies... I wish my old roommate made cheesy broccoli potato soup. He just peed in coke cans and hid them behind the sofa.
I have always been somewhat disgustingly amazed when I hear stories about people with penïses who pee into cans/bottles/other containers with small orifices. As someone with female equipment down there, I lack the urinary dexterity. Not that I’d WANT to pee into a Coke can, it’s just grotesquely impressive from a physical standpoint. That being said, I’m sorry you had to go through that XD
Load More Replies... Want to know the funniest thing about this whole craziness? When it comes to Cheesy Potato Soup with Broccoli, you usually can't even taste the broccoli anyways!
I mean... I can't agree with that, but Kyle's opinion is still invalid unless he's going to grow up and cook for himself.
Load More Replies... I don't understand why BP bothered to include comments from etiquette consultants about food and guests. Kyle wasn't OP's guest, he was the roommate's guest.
And the roommate wasn't even a "guest". Just happen to catch the OP while she was making some food for HERSELF and made an offer as any decent roommate would do.
Load More Replies... How on earth is this worthy of scraping from reddit to repost here? Did you guys grab all the half decent aita threads? A thread over soup? Sigh
Threads are like food, some people like it and some people don't. For some folks who don't like it, this might just be their "broccoli".
Load More Replies... My mom hates my hubs cooking. Although if I say I made it she will eat it. She can't have hard foods as she doesn't have bottom teeth. She's 84 and pick af. So I always tell him it has to be soft. Mashed potato's. Boiled carrots. Burgers rare. lol. The foods I want to eat on my days off I sacrifice so I can feed her. Or I'll make something on the side for her. I take care of her on Sundays so that's my job. My sis has her all week as they share a house. My brother doesn't do anything even though he's a few streets over. So I cook Sundays. Do my laundry. Clean my house. Feed and keep her company. Listen to her complain. Alzheimer's an dementia are early stages so she repeats a lot of stuff all day. Last week I ordered lobster rolls from a nice place. She was happy as hell. But also complaining she hates hubs food. I said I would just order her food from now on an then she can't b***h anymore. Ugh. It's hard but I try to make her happy.
Don't forget to take care of yourself, too.
Load More Replies... Next time, OP just ought to make her own soup portion and point Prissy Kris-sy and K(r)yle-baby to the kitchen and tell them to make what they want on their own. Perhaps in future, also separate their groceries for the duration of them staying together in case because K(r)yle-baby sounds like the type that might pilfer people's foodstuff without hesitation. OP would do well to get out of that place if she can because I doubt Prissy Kris-sy will get any easier to live with given how entitled she acts. SMH!!! P.s. On a side note, now I want some cheesy potato broccoli soup too. I normally have broccoli blanched with some light dip but never in soup before. If OP has a portion left, I'd be happy to take it off her and maybe throw in some blanched broccoli and cauliflower with Thousand Island Dressing or even Champ (Irish mashed potatoes) in return XP
I did cook for roommates and friends, but only when we had a system of everyone cooks another day with 4 or six and sometimes a guest. One cooked, the others did the dishes. You just made whatever, nobody whined and especially not the guests and everyone paid 3 guilders (1 euro 36, cheap times). One guy would often call a few hours before dinner and then sheepishly wait until you said: Do you want to join for dinner, because he just divorced and always had to cook his own food. He was really grateful. Later I was with a group where everyone cooked for themselves. The thought wouldn't cross my mind to cook for the boyfriend of a roommate.
Load More Replies... It's been cold and raining, and I want some cheesy potato with broccoli soup now. Op, you're NTA. your roommate and her BF are both adults, whom I could safely assume knows how to make their own meals.
NTA. Your soup sounds awesome! I want some, but I don't have any... Man-baby Kyle expecting everyone to cater to his preferences is TA. If roommate wants Kyle to get the food he wants, SHE can cook it for him, and THEY can pay for the ingredients. I'm a picky eater myself, but I would never get miffed if offered something that I'm not able to eat. I'd just say "Sorry, I'm not hungry", or "I'll just make myself a sandwich, if that's ok?". Unless you haven't RSVP-ed with food allergies or specific eating habits (like vegan or kosher/halal), you eat what you are offered, or politely (and quietly) decline. I doubt that Kyle and Kris RSVP-ed the soup-meal. :D
If you don't like the food... don't eat it! If you go over to someone else's house, unless you have medical reasons to, you eat what's there. If the host wants to accommodate, that's cool. But accommodation doesn't mean "I showed up & don't like the food, change it now."
I was with OP all the way to the penis comment. Why does being entitled have to be linked to having a penis? Are they no choosing beggar women out there? Linking him being choosy to him being a man is a low and unnecessary blow. He's still wrong, but OP is an a*****e.
This, I thought the story was gonna be about some "women should be in the kitchen" thing, but it's just someone complaining about food. Not once does it seem like he brought sex/gender into it, he was just being entitled
Load More Replies... I am an apathetic eater so eat when and what I want to. Once a month I will make a big slow cook and tell the housemates to help themselves. They tend to eat their own things though (usually fried or microwaved) and seem hesitant to eat something that doesn't have carbs in it unless I put baby potatoes in. So after 3 days in fridge, it goes into containers for freezing single portions. They know where to find it if they want it. Just bring me back or wash my containers...
I mean, this isn't even a host/guest situation. they didn't invite him over for a meal. he was visiting his boyfriend, and they, having cooked some for themselves, pretty much said, I've made this soup and if either of you want some, you can have some. they weren't cooking for THOSE TWO. they cooked for themselves and offered to share afterwards. I've been offered things I don't like at other peoples houses before, and I am able to say "no thank you, but thank you for offering"
When I have guests at home I cook what I know they like. But neither the roommate nor her boyfriend are OP's guests, so,there's no reason for her to make the slightest effort. She offered some food out of politeness, that's all. If they don't like what's in it, tough luck. Not her guests, not her problem.
She offered them some soup she'd cooked for herself, it wasn't like she specifically made something for them. You can't call her a 'host', because she wasn't one; she didn't invite this guy over. If she HAD been a host, and had invited him over, then it'd be a different story.
The only thing I'd ask is whether he contributes at all communally. eg: Does he sometimes pay for pizza for everyone or bring beer for everyone or whatever. If he's never contributing then the OP is dead right. If he's contributing in some other way, then maybe she should reconsider. I wonder if he is contributing, but only to his girlfriend. At which point *she* believes he's contributing so deserves a free meal, but she's not passing any benefit on to her roommate.
WTH? The entitlement is strong in both Kris and Kyle to think Op should only cook food how Kyle likes! I think those two have broccoli for brains.
Unless your roommate also cooks special dishes for you, stick to your guns and stop pampering her. Don't continue to escalate the argument over this issue., since it was getting increasingly personal.
You cook soup and a visitor declines to eat the leftovers. Ok. What was the question?
I just think of that Sandra Boynton bedtime book about all the animals in the ark going to bed. "Broccoli stew? Ew! That's for bunny, not for you."
Amazing how everyone is making this one about the guy when it's really about the two women.
How many times are you going to say this? I haven't finished reading all the comments, but me thinks I might find at least one more. A treasure hunt!
Load More Replies...
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