What makes some people go forward in life is the constant wish to do something exciting and putting check marks on their bucket list. And while no one should stop you from making your dreams come true, it’s always nice to have like-minded people who would go with you and provide you with support when needed or be there to celebrate another important milestone achieved. However, the road to one’s dream can sometimes get quite rocky, especially if you have to fight with someone who is there to uplift your spirits. One Reddit user decided to share the situation they got themselves into and ask others if what they did or expected was right when they went along with their girlfriend to fulfill one of her dreams by going on a hike with her and then backed out at the last minute, thinking that she would do the same. The story that received almost 12k upvotes soon became interesting to many readers who had their verdict on whether or not the person was a jerk to their girlfriend.
More Info: Reddit
Being able to achieve your dreams is one of the greatest things that can happen to a person
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Image credits: Grand Canyon NPS (not the actual image)
The author of the post started their story by sharing that their girlfriend is very much into hiking, and because of this reason, they planned a trip to the Grand Canyon where she wanted to complete her “dream hike” and her partner would accompany her. While that sounds like a very exciting plan, it didn’t go as thought. The day before the main hike, they went for another hike, after which the original poster realized that they were not as well prepared and fit as their girlfriend. Because of this reason, they thought it would be best if they would skip it.
Reddit user wanted to know if they were wrong to get in the way of their girlfriend’s dream by wanting to cancel the hike
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OP also shared that the hike that their girlfriend was planning isn’t meant to be done in one day and that a park ranger advised her against it. However, the woman was pretty confident in herself and her abilities, so she decided to go alone. This didn’t sit well with her partner who asked her whether they could do it the next day after they recovered, but the woman had already made up her mind, saying that she didn’t want to risk having bad weather the next day, so she would go on the day she planned to do it originally. She even said that she could repeat the hike one more time if her partner wanted to do it after they recovered.
The person shared that their girlfriend is an experienced hiker who wanted to complete her “dream hike”, so they decided to accompany her
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Image credits: Paul Fundenburg (not the actual image)
The plan that the girlfriend proposed didn’t sit well with the author of the post. They got upset because they felt abandoned at the campsite. OP then revealed that their girlfriend did finish her hike in one day, but they were hurt that she chose to do it without them, even though they tried their best to do something that she loved. This whole situation made the author of the post think about whether they were right to ask their partner to cancel her big plans for them. A lot of Reddit users couldn’t understand why the author of the post decided to even go with their girlfriend if they knew that they aren’t fit enough for this. In this situation, the commentators chose the girlfriend’s side, saying that in no way should she have sacrificed her chance to do something she always wanted to do. What is your take on this situation? Don’t forget to leave your thoughts in the comments down below!
However, the author of the post changed their mind after one of their hikes, seeing that they weren’t fit enough just one day after starting the trip
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Their doubts didn’t stop the girlfriend from achieving her dream, so she went alone and completed the hike
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For those who love spending time outdoors or want to start doing so, here are a few tips and tricks that would help to make this experience as nice as possible. According to CleverHiker, it’s important to train yourself before going on a super long or difficult journey. Remember why you want to go outdoors: do you enjoy the peace and silence, nature? Perhaps you like to read or just be alone in the beautiful surroundings of nature? Hiking isn’t only about being able to start and finish it, but enjoying it and finding things that make you feel rested.
This whole situation made the Reddit user upset as they were left alone despite trying to do something their partner loved
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Image credits: Yuya Sekiguchi ( not the actual image)
Training before long distance is also beneficial as it helps you to avoid injuries and blisters, especially in cases of putting on new footwear or a backpack. Going on preparational hikes helps you to toughen up and see what are the things that need to be improved or changed. Of course, an important part is keeping up with the routine and making sure that you’re training regularly, and reaching your particular goals that help you to become more resilient.
A lot of users online did not support the author of the story, implying that they should’ve prepared better
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Some even though that the original poster was selfish and wrong for not supporting their girlfriend’s dream
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I would have been super concerned about her going alone - maybe try and find a group hike of people for her to join, but be whiney v and butthurt she hold his limp hand and stroke his fragile ego? LOL, no, what an AH.
Is there a YTP option on Reddit? Your The P*ssy. Not worrying about her safety or helping her prep, just sad and unsupportive.
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I agree about with the comment about how they were camping in Cali but the hike is in the Grand Canyon. That aside, if this person can't be on their own for one day they have bigger issues.
As a lifelong resident of Southern California (who went on many trips to the Colorado River with family when I was a kid, it's hours of driving) that was the first thing that caught MY eye, too! I checked OP's post on Reddit, and they state "It was a road trip, we went to Cali (San Fran and Yosemite), Grand Canyon and Las Vegas too". Still, they worded it poorly.
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He could read a book at the campsite. That’s what I would have done.
Honestly, I might have liked a day to myself in the midst of a road trip.
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"Abandoning" lol. You are a grown man and you can't be on your own for a day?
Wow. "I'm not fit enough, despite knowing that we were planning this trip, but you should cancel your dream hike, and risk never getting to do it." GF was willing to repeat the hike with him, so they could do it together, if the weather was good and he had recovered enough. Why waste a day of your hiking holiday sitting around in camp? He could have found something low key to do by himself, but no, he just wants to be resentful and give her the silent treatment and guilt her into not hiking. AH.
"If you love me, you'll give up your dream..." HA! Stick it, whiny boy!
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This girl is dating the wrong person. She deserves someone who would support her in achieving her dream and goal, especially when it is well within her reach and she is confident in achieving it! I hope OP didn't ruin her bucket list hike and that she had a wonderful time crushing the hike by herself!
I love walking and hiking but my mate has a cranky knee. He is willing to risk some pain for hikes, but also lets me go on my own or with a mate if he can't handle it so he doesn't make me miss out. OP should've acknowledged their limits and rose to the occasion or accept that the bucket list would be done regardless.
Maybe you 2 aren't meant for each other? If you can't handle the fact she's an intense hiker, then find someone else that is more your speed. She will leave you before you know it. Best thing is to call it quits and move on.
Yep, the way I read this is she preferred to finish alone disregarding him and the ranger, so he's not a priority. We don't know the reason he's not a priority, but that is a clue for both him and her to know that it's just not working out. There's definitely more stuff in their history that we don't know.
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I'm reading a lot of whining about someone being left alone for one day even though they agreed to this dream trip for their partner. That's like the"nice guy" syndrome...I went out of my way for you so placate me. YTA. If you were truly supportive of your partner, then be joyful that they can fulfill that dream as you wait patiently for them. If it's a concern on them being alone, GPS trackers work great, even in the grand canyon.. especially on popular trails. Time for OP to do a little soul searching and find the root of all this fear
Can't believe you're asking for validation for being a complete AH. Two words define the trip: "BUCKET LIST" - and you already knew that was the goal. Did you physically prepare? Did you mention before planning what will you do if I'm not capable of going with you? Did you really expect her to give up her dream because you were incapable? Maybe you should rethink a relationship where "your wants" are more important than those of your significant other on a trip Planned for her to do accomplish that goal!
If he is this whiney about a bucket list item for her, imagine his attitude on other things that are important to her. Hope she dumps this guy. He's the AH.
Big a*****e here. She had been wanting to do this for a while and she's an adult so he could have stayed home
Pouting is super unattractive. Pouting because your partner didn't ditch their dream to sit with your sniveling self for a whole day is ground for dumping dead weight.
OP sounds very codependent and selfish. The GF was being perfectly reasonable, and made her intentions clear. OP took it personal when it wasn't and behaved immaturely by not talking to her that evening. Furthermore, I applaud her for sticking to her guns and not engaging with their immature behavior. She sounds remarkably healthy to be with someone who is so immature and selfish. I wonder why she's still with them.
YTA. It's HER dream, not yours. You knew you weren't as fit as her and you knew you would be tired out after the hike the day before
Why, yes. Yes, you are. An asshοle with some noticeable issues and a lot of therapy in front of you, to be precise.
A big smelly bag of fragile ego YTA on this one. 1. OP didn't prepare for an activity I'm sure the gf told would be physically demanding. 2. OP over exerted and probably held gf back on the first hike. 3. OP thought a day's rest would magically make them capable of an even harder activity. 4. OP expected gf to allow them to ruin a dream of hers by waiting that day just to carry extra baggage - OP. 5. When she didn't let OP ruin her hike, they went to plan B by pouting about it. Way to go OP - turn gf's life's dream into a nightmare. I hope she took a permanent hike when they got back from the road trip.
I am not a far of people going on solo hikes. Basic hill and mountain safety is to always have a friend to hike with. It's the easiest thing in the world to mis-place a foot go over on an ankle, and render yourself unable to walk. A person's survival chances are so much better when there is a companion. And I'm saying this as a person who lives in a place where the largest predators are stoats/weasels!
Well it doesnt sound like OP would have been much help in any situation lol
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Yes, you're wrong. Your partner is not you. I now travel alone so I can do what I want.
So many things going on in this post. First off, your gf has trained and prepped for this hike, a dream of hers. Hiking is a wonderful hobby, great for body, soul and mind. My concern is the hiking alone. However, this young lady seems very determined and will do as she sets her mind to. Next time, be more supportive and not a wet rag about things. It's ok to be concerned with her goingn alone. You could have definitely admitted you weren't up for it, and offered to have the campsite prepped with hydration, a good meal and congratulating her on this accomplishment. It's ok to realize limitations, but not ok to hold anyone back because of it.
FYI: You're never 'alone' on these trails... there are lots of people hiking in the Grand Canyon.
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Yes. He’s being a petty, jealous, controlling douche bag. However, she could spend a little time with him before she goes.
I think she did what she wanted, he did what he wanted and they should not be a couple.
If the tables were turned, would he have cancelled his bucket list hike if she hadn't been in shape? I'm guessing "no"...
It seems like everyone is the AH, but I have to go with the GF being the bigger AH. The GF was unwilling to wait a day to do this hike, she didn't seem to care about the safety of the OP being unfit to do a back to back hike, and pushed the dream hike in a day (despite the rangers' advice). It's also not a responsibility for the OP to be "fit for her hiking dream". Perhaps they should have trained, but, regardless, they should have done the hike in two days, like the ranger said. This type of scenario should have been about the safety and stability of the group, but the GF was unwilling to make any compromise, and instead, abandoned the OP, which makes it seem much more selfish to me. If the OP went with her for her safety, since the OP was unfit to do the hikes back to back (and in the GF's irresponsible way), the only protection the OP could provide is being the easy target in the event of an animal attack. Everyone was stupid, but the GF is the AH.
OP is YTA. There's a big red flag about him. I would run away if I were the gf.
When I saw the words "abandoned at her campsite" in the preview of this before reading it, I assumed this was kid, maybe a young teen who didn't feel feel comfortable being alone in a strange place, perhaps left behind by a family member. But this was a grown person? Ha! There's a lot of insecurity there.
Well...... Yes, the friend is being unreasonable. They are not going to become "ready" to hika something like Bright Angel" by resting a day. If that's the trail, which I am guessing, it takes very good condition/hiking experience. I am also guessing that the friend probably had not gone on serious hikes with her before going to Grand Cañon. They probably had a very different idea of "hiking". I don't think either did something wrong intentionally, but once their it's completely unreasonable to ask her to not go on the hike, and if indeed there was a 30% chance of rain the next day, that would not be a wise choice for either of them. There are pleanty of awesome sights to see staying up on the rim, and the friend could have still had a great day with them.
While I agree that partner shouldn't expect for the other partner to abandon their dreams, I not entirely agree with the idea of going hiking alone and living partner in the camp alone.
He mentions it is a road trip to Cali. They hit lots of stops on the way, including Las Vegas.
Load More Replies... If she cares more about getting her hike in more than doing it with the one she's dating, then he is clearly not a priority and this is the clue to get out of the relationship. She could have waited a day, but she didn't. There's obviously more(or nothing) going on in this relationship, that we don't know , but this is clearly a sign that it's not fitting for either of them. // I don't know who TA is. I know I did something similar, I would consider myself TA in that moment, but why I did it was because the other one was TA most of the time.... When I preferred drinking at a bar instead of going home, I knew it was time to end it. She left him to finish things that she wants without regard to him... It's time to end it.
How is the gender relevant in this case? Seems like you are also an AH
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hey, I didn't see anywhere that OP mentioned if they were a girl or a guy, so this could very much be a girl ❤️
Load More Replies... I would have been super concerned about her going alone - maybe try and find a group hike of people for her to join, but be whiney v and butthurt she hold his limp hand and stroke his fragile ego? LOL, no, what an AH.
Is there a YTP option on Reddit? Your The P*ssy. Not worrying about her safety or helping her prep, just sad and unsupportive.
Load More Replies... I agree about with the comment about how they were camping in Cali but the hike is in the Grand Canyon. That aside, if this person can't be on their own for one day they have bigger issues.
As a lifelong resident of Southern California (who went on many trips to the Colorado River with family when I was a kid, it's hours of driving) that was the first thing that caught MY eye, too! I checked OP's post on Reddit, and they state "It was a road trip, we went to Cali (San Fran and Yosemite), Grand Canyon and Las Vegas too". Still, they worded it poorly.
Load More Replies... He could read a book at the campsite. That’s what I would have done.
Honestly, I might have liked a day to myself in the midst of a road trip.
Load More Replies... "Abandoning" lol. You are a grown man and you can't be on your own for a day?
Wow. "I'm not fit enough, despite knowing that we were planning this trip, but you should cancel your dream hike, and risk never getting to do it." GF was willing to repeat the hike with him, so they could do it together, if the weather was good and he had recovered enough. Why waste a day of your hiking holiday sitting around in camp? He could have found something low key to do by himself, but no, he just wants to be resentful and give her the silent treatment and guilt her into not hiking. AH.
"If you love me, you'll give up your dream..." HA! Stick it, whiny boy!
Load More Replies... This girl is dating the wrong person. She deserves someone who would support her in achieving her dream and goal, especially when it is well within her reach and she is confident in achieving it! I hope OP didn't ruin her bucket list hike and that she had a wonderful time crushing the hike by herself!
I love walking and hiking but my mate has a cranky knee. He is willing to risk some pain for hikes, but also lets me go on my own or with a mate if he can't handle it so he doesn't make me miss out. OP should've acknowledged their limits and rose to the occasion or accept that the bucket list would be done regardless.
Maybe you 2 aren't meant for each other? If you can't handle the fact she's an intense hiker, then find someone else that is more your speed. She will leave you before you know it. Best thing is to call it quits and move on.
Yep, the way I read this is she preferred to finish alone disregarding him and the ranger, so he's not a priority. We don't know the reason he's not a priority, but that is a clue for both him and her to know that it's just not working out. There's definitely more stuff in their history that we don't know.
Load More Replies... I'm reading a lot of whining about someone being left alone for one day even though they agreed to this dream trip for their partner. That's like the"nice guy" syndrome...I went out of my way for you so placate me. YTA. If you were truly supportive of your partner, then be joyful that they can fulfill that dream as you wait patiently for them. If it's a concern on them being alone, GPS trackers work great, even in the grand canyon.. especially on popular trails. Time for OP to do a little soul searching and find the root of all this fear
Can't believe you're asking for validation for being a complete AH. Two words define the trip: "BUCKET LIST" - and you already knew that was the goal. Did you physically prepare? Did you mention before planning what will you do if I'm not capable of going with you? Did you really expect her to give up her dream because you were incapable? Maybe you should rethink a relationship where "your wants" are more important than those of your significant other on a trip Planned for her to do accomplish that goal!
If he is this whiney about a bucket list item for her, imagine his attitude on other things that are important to her. Hope she dumps this guy. He's the AH.
Big a*****e here. She had been wanting to do this for a while and she's an adult so he could have stayed home
Pouting is super unattractive. Pouting because your partner didn't ditch their dream to sit with your sniveling self for a whole day is ground for dumping dead weight.
OP sounds very codependent and selfish. The GF was being perfectly reasonable, and made her intentions clear. OP took it personal when it wasn't and behaved immaturely by not talking to her that evening. Furthermore, I applaud her for sticking to her guns and not engaging with their immature behavior. She sounds remarkably healthy to be with someone who is so immature and selfish. I wonder why she's still with them.
YTA. It's HER dream, not yours. You knew you weren't as fit as her and you knew you would be tired out after the hike the day before
Why, yes. Yes, you are. An asshοle with some noticeable issues and a lot of therapy in front of you, to be precise.
A big smelly bag of fragile ego YTA on this one. 1. OP didn't prepare for an activity I'm sure the gf told would be physically demanding. 2. OP over exerted and probably held gf back on the first hike. 3. OP thought a day's rest would magically make them capable of an even harder activity. 4. OP expected gf to allow them to ruin a dream of hers by waiting that day just to carry extra baggage - OP. 5. When she didn't let OP ruin her hike, they went to plan B by pouting about it. Way to go OP - turn gf's life's dream into a nightmare. I hope she took a permanent hike when they got back from the road trip.
I am not a far of people going on solo hikes. Basic hill and mountain safety is to always have a friend to hike with. It's the easiest thing in the world to mis-place a foot go over on an ankle, and render yourself unable to walk. A person's survival chances are so much better when there is a companion. And I'm saying this as a person who lives in a place where the largest predators are stoats/weasels!
Well it doesnt sound like OP would have been much help in any situation lol
Load More Replies... Yes, you're wrong. Your partner is not you. I now travel alone so I can do what I want.
So many things going on in this post. First off, your gf has trained and prepped for this hike, a dream of hers. Hiking is a wonderful hobby, great for body, soul and mind. My concern is the hiking alone. However, this young lady seems very determined and will do as she sets her mind to. Next time, be more supportive and not a wet rag about things. It's ok to be concerned with her goingn alone. You could have definitely admitted you weren't up for it, and offered to have the campsite prepped with hydration, a good meal and congratulating her on this accomplishment. It's ok to realize limitations, but not ok to hold anyone back because of it.
FYI: You're never 'alone' on these trails... there are lots of people hiking in the Grand Canyon.
Load More Replies... Yes. He’s being a petty, jealous, controlling douche bag. However, she could spend a little time with him before she goes.
I think she did what she wanted, he did what he wanted and they should not be a couple.
If the tables were turned, would he have cancelled his bucket list hike if she hadn't been in shape? I'm guessing "no"...
It seems like everyone is the AH, but I have to go with the GF being the bigger AH. The GF was unwilling to wait a day to do this hike, she didn't seem to care about the safety of the OP being unfit to do a back to back hike, and pushed the dream hike in a day (despite the rangers' advice). It's also not a responsibility for the OP to be "fit for her hiking dream". Perhaps they should have trained, but, regardless, they should have done the hike in two days, like the ranger said. This type of scenario should have been about the safety and stability of the group, but the GF was unwilling to make any compromise, and instead, abandoned the OP, which makes it seem much more selfish to me. If the OP went with her for her safety, since the OP was unfit to do the hikes back to back (and in the GF's irresponsible way), the only protection the OP could provide is being the easy target in the event of an animal attack. Everyone was stupid, but the GF is the AH.
OP is YTA. There's a big red flag about him. I would run away if I were the gf.
When I saw the words "abandoned at her campsite" in the preview of this before reading it, I assumed this was kid, maybe a young teen who didn't feel feel comfortable being alone in a strange place, perhaps left behind by a family member. But this was a grown person? Ha! There's a lot of insecurity there.
Well...... Yes, the friend is being unreasonable. They are not going to become "ready" to hika something like Bright Angel" by resting a day. If that's the trail, which I am guessing, it takes very good condition/hiking experience. I am also guessing that the friend probably had not gone on serious hikes with her before going to Grand Cañon. They probably had a very different idea of "hiking". I don't think either did something wrong intentionally, but once their it's completely unreasonable to ask her to not go on the hike, and if indeed there was a 30% chance of rain the next day, that would not be a wise choice for either of them. There are pleanty of awesome sights to see staying up on the rim, and the friend could have still had a great day with them.
While I agree that partner shouldn't expect for the other partner to abandon their dreams, I not entirely agree with the idea of going hiking alone and living partner in the camp alone.
He mentions it is a road trip to Cali. They hit lots of stops on the way, including Las Vegas.
Load More Replies... If she cares more about getting her hike in more than doing it with the one she's dating, then he is clearly not a priority and this is the clue to get out of the relationship. She could have waited a day, but she didn't. There's obviously more(or nothing) going on in this relationship, that we don't know , but this is clearly a sign that it's not fitting for either of them. // I don't know who TA is. I know I did something similar, I would consider myself TA in that moment, but why I did it was because the other one was TA most of the time.... When I preferred drinking at a bar instead of going home, I knew it was time to end it. She left him to finish things that she wants without regard to him... It's time to end it.
How is the gender relevant in this case? Seems like you are also an AH
Load More Replies... hey, I didn't see anywhere that OP mentioned if they were a girl or a guy, so this could very much be a girl ❤️
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