Family Drama Ensues Over Dad Refusing To Order Pizza For Socially Anxious Daughter Staying At Home
Whenever my wife needs to call on some official matter, we have already developed a tradition – I dial the number, start a conversation, and when it comes to details, I hand the phone to her. Most likely, this is a kind of manifestation of social anxiety, but for me it’s not a problem to do this on a regular basis.
But for the hero of our story today, the user u/Then_Cupcake_4847, a similar request from his 15-year-old daughter became a problem that subsequently led to much family drama. At the same time, the man himself was sincerely confident that he hadn’t done anything wrong – and even took it online to vent about it.
More info: Reddit
The author of the post has a 15-year-old daughter who has social anxiety
Image credits: Karolina Grabowska (not the actual photo)
Sometimes the girl stays home alone and her parents just leave her some money to order food
Image credits: Then_Cupcake_4847
One day the girl wanted to order pizza while alone but the local service didn’t take online orders
Image credits: Faizan Saeed (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Then_Cupcake_4847
So the girl texted her dad asking him to call for pizza instead of her, but the man refused, considering it just a whim
So, the Original Poster (OP) lives with his wife and 15-year-old daughter, and the girl stays home alone from time to time. The parents leave money for their daughter for this occasion, so that she can order food for herself at any time. Or buy groceries to make herself dinner.
The whole problem is that the girl has social anxiety and, although the doctors say that she does not need meds now, making a regular phone call is a real problem for her. However, online ordering for delivery rules as usual.
And so, one fine evening, when her parents were going about their business, the girl wanted to order herself a pizza, but, as luck would have it, the delivery service didn’t accept online orders – only by phone. The teen texted her dad asking him to call for pizza but he refused. According to the man, his daughter could easily make herself a sandwich from scrap ingredients in the refrigerator, or look for another delivery service.
The next day, the daughter attacked her father with reproaches and, which upset the man even more, his wife joined in these reproaches, claiming that it cost him nothing to make just one call. Well, the author of the post seemed to consider it just his daughter’s whim, nothing more.
Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)
Social anxiety disorder, or social phobia, as it is often called, has become a significant problem for many people these days. Thus, according to statistics provided by Anxiety & Depression Association of America (ADAA), social anxiety disorder (SAD) affects 15 million adults or 7.1% of the U.S. population.
Moreover, SAD is equally common among men and women and typically begins around age 13. And one of the obvious manifestations of this problem among adolescents and young adults is phone anxiety. On the one hand, this is due to the fact that in the 21st century, instant messengers and texting are becoming increasingly widespread, and on the other hand, a phone conversation initially carries a not very healthy mental charge.
“All we have is the voice,” The Cut quotes Alison Papadakis, a clinical psychology professor at Johns Hopkins University who studies stress. “So that can be a bit nerve-racking for people. <…> You can kind of correct yourself and take things back, but not in the same way, because it’s already out there.” In other words, this is, in any case, not a substitute for full-fledged communication.
However, most commenters on the original post are almost sure that trying to find another delivery service or calling herself anyway wouldn’t be so difficult. “No therapist worth their pay will tell someone with social anxieties to push any required interactions off to their partner or parent,” someone wrote in the comments. “This was a teachable moment, and a chance to face her fears. It will only get worse if she continues to avoid it.”
Be that as it may, even people who also have phone anxiety noted in the comments that constantly asking others to do something is also wrong. “I won’t call to order pizza due to phone anxiety and I’m 48. But I don’t ask anyone else to call either, I just find places where I can order online,” another commenter added. And now we’d definitely like to know your opinion – who is right and who is wrong in this particular situation?
People in the comments, however, mainly claimed that it’s actually not that difficult to find another delivery service or maybe just make a sandwich
Image credits: Karolina Grabowska (not the actual photo)
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NTA. My mother did the same thing in the 80s/90s. If I wanted pizza, she would pay but I had to order it. Your wife is enabling your daughter instead of helping her.
If she's too afraid to use the phone, she shouldn't be left alone. What is she going to do if someone is breaking in or the house is on fire? Text her parents and hope they see it in time?
I think in such a situation it will be very different. I'm personally terrified of using the phone, but in an emergency I wouldn't hesitate to call. Although of course I don't know her so idk how she would react.
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I have anxiety and I used to struggle with similar things eg going up to the counter with ordering food. My parents are lovely and my dad is like this dad, he would make me do it and sometimes my mum would let me off if she saw it was really stressing me. But my dad was right. You need to know how to do these basic interactions. Nobody is judging you, nobody really even cares! Lol it's customer service you really think the thing they're going to remember is someone who was a bit nervous to call/order when they have THAT many Karen's to deal with?
I feel you on the ordering at a restaurant counter thing. My husband sometimes forgets that I cannot effectively order any menu items that I cannot physically read off a menu at the restaurant. I end up having to call him and put him on speaker so he can explain exactly what he wants because I will not even know what is supposed to be on/with his order because it's not there for me to point at on the menu. When he can't/doesn't answer the call I almost always come home with the wrong thing. He has to be reminded that unless I know every single ingredient in the order and all the questions I might be asked about it, I'm going to get it wrong because I am going to get nervous about holding up the line of people behind me.
Load More Replies... NTA. My mother did the same thing in the 80s/90s. If I wanted pizza, she would pay but I had to order it. Your wife is enabling your daughter instead of helping her.
If she's too afraid to use the phone, she shouldn't be left alone. What is she going to do if someone is breaking in or the house is on fire? Text her parents and hope they see it in time?
I think in such a situation it will be very different. I'm personally terrified of using the phone, but in an emergency I wouldn't hesitate to call. Although of course I don't know her so idk how she would react.
Load More Replies... I have anxiety and I used to struggle with similar things eg going up to the counter with ordering food. My parents are lovely and my dad is like this dad, he would make me do it and sometimes my mum would let me off if she saw it was really stressing me. But my dad was right. You need to know how to do these basic interactions. Nobody is judging you, nobody really even cares! Lol it's customer service you really think the thing they're going to remember is someone who was a bit nervous to call/order when they have THAT many Karen's to deal with?
I feel you on the ordering at a restaurant counter thing. My husband sometimes forgets that I cannot effectively order any menu items that I cannot physically read off a menu at the restaurant. I end up having to call him and put him on speaker so he can explain exactly what he wants because I will not even know what is supposed to be on/with his order because it's not there for me to point at on the menu. When he can't/doesn't answer the call I almost always come home with the wrong thing. He has to be reminded that unless I know every single ingredient in the order and all the questions I might be asked about it, I'm going to get it wrong because I am going to get nervous about holding up the line of people behind me.
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