Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
then open in external browser
and click "Open in External Browser" 
Some people need to learn to mind their own business instead of putting their noses into other people’s affairs all the time. That’s what Jaclene Paolucci, aka Twitter user Diamond_Jax, suggested in a thoroughly witty thread where she shared how she shut down someone giving unsolicited pregnancy advice with a sassy comeback.
Other women pitched in with their own examples of great comebacks that were bound to make anyone listening in say to themselves, ‘That had to hurt!’ Have a read through some of the funniest quips below, upvote the ones that made you chuckle, and if you’ve ever been in a similar situation, tell us all about your sassiness in the comment section.
"I've discovered that if you want unsolicited advice, then you should get pregnant," Jaclene told the BBC. "It feels like the moment you do get pregnant, then you lose your body's autonomy. People start touching you and everybody has an opinion on how you should act, what you should wear—everything. The only people who should be able to do that should be you and your doctor."
There's hardly anyone better to talk to about witty comebacks than British comedy writer Ariane Sherine. I had a chat with her about how to react to unsolicited pregnancy comebacks and why people believe that they can hand out advice left, right, and center the moment they spot someone who is pregnant. Scroll down for Bored Panda's interview with the comedy genius.
This post may include affiliate links.
RELATED:
Comedy writer Ariane, who has a daughter herself, told me that she completely agrees that it feels like a woman's body autonomy flies out the window the moment she gets pregnant. "It’s almost as though when a woman’s pregnant, she becomes everyone else’s property. Maybe all these pregnancy experts have emerged because everyone’s known a pregnant woman, however tenuously?" the told Bored Panda.
"Added to which, most of the advice is rubbish. I was told ‘you’ll have to eat for two now,’ took it too literally and put on five stone (the baby doesn’t actually need any extra calories until the third trimester!)," the comedy expert pointed out that rubbish advice can have serious effects on your body if you follow them blindly. Remember, Pandas, always, always, always double and triple-check facts. Especially from random strangers and the internet.
According to Ariane, humor is a wonderful tool when it comes to defusing tension and anger. "Humor’s always great as it can defuse the situation, plus it has the advantage that you’re less likely to get angry. It’s hard enough being pregnant without feeling defensive and upset too," she said.
However, I was also interested to hear Ariane's take on what someone who's pregnant should do if it's not just random strangers but loved ones who keep giving unsolicited advice. It's far more difficult to create boundaries with family, friends, and coworkers than it is with people on the street.
"Witty comebacks are fab if you can think of one, but if not, a simple and heartfelt statement like, ‘Look, I know you mean well and want the best for me, and I appreciate that, but my doctor has a different opinion to you and I’m following their advice’ should work," the comedy expert told Bored Panda that simple honesty is best in such cases.
A simple fact of life is that there will always be plenty of people who think they know what’s better for you than, well, you. Or a medical professional that these moms were bound to have spoken to about their own dietary needs. These random people might even have good intentions, but without knowing more context about the mom they’re speaking to, they can come across as pushy and even arrogant.
Each woman’s body is unique and different, so you should speak to your doctor about what foods and drinks you should avoid while carrying your baby. However, there are some general guidelines on what to avoid.
For instance, the NHS points out that you can still have caffeine but you should limit yourself to no more than 200 mg per day. For reference, there’s about 100 mg of caffeine in a cup of instant coffee and 40 mg in a can of soda.
#10
Marianne Luginbuhl 4 years ago
When I was pregnant, Tylenol and caffeine were my go to for migraine
#11
cybermerlin2000 4 years ago
I would have made her buy me a new one. No idea what she might have
#12
Vicky Z 4 years ago
True story: I go to work everyday with a very large bottle were i have a big portion of coffee! I had a nosy colleague that thought it was her business to tell me i drink too much coffee (please for your own safety don't say these things to people that didn't have their coffee yet first thing in the morning). I told her it was just vodka so i can handle the idiots and she shut up!
Another question that gets debated a lot is whether or not (and how much) pregnant women can drink alcohol while pregnant. The NHS unequivocally suggests that “the safest approach is to not drink alcohol at all,” meanwhile, the CDC says that “there is no known safe amount of alcohol use during pregnancy.”
However, Harvard Health Publishing notes that small amounts of alcohol during the first trimester may not cause any issues down the line. Still, the health of you and your baby is a very serious, complicated question, so it’s always best to have a chat with your doctor and ask for their take on what you should do.
#16
Joe Reaves 4 years ago
Or when you are their doctor and it is relevant to the medical procedure you are about to perform/drugs you are prescribing. Which coincidentally is also the only time it's any of your damn business.
#19
Ross Warren 4 years ago
I was picking up some formula from the store on my way home from work when the woman who was behind me in line made a comment about how much better breast milk is when I turned to her and said, "Thanks lady, but in case you didn't notice; I don't exactly have the right glands for the job".
#21
Amelia Bedelia 4 years ago
When I was 13, my 3 year old sister decided it was funny to call me Mama out in public. The looks I got were great.
#22
Francesca Annoni 4 years ago (edited)
Once a scolded an unknown Old lady..she grabbed an hand of my 6 m.o old baby.. and was trying to kiss the hand "but I'm not kissing him on the cheek!and I'm not sick.." "you know what Is the first thing a baby put in his mouth? His hand.."
#23
Marno Cameron 4 years ago
It's like the old joke where woman 1 says, "I got this 24pk of beer for my husband." and woman 2 smiles and says, "Good trade!"
#25
Katy McMouse 4 years ago
"Natural"? Really? Until they figure out how to make eggs and sperm in a laboratory, all babies are natural.
#26
Lisa Shelton 4 years ago
It's fine for a woman to have alcohol in moderation when pregnant. The reason doctors say not to have any is because there are those who don't know what moderation is and drink to excess with the excuse that the doctor said it was okay.
#30
Marno Cameron 4 years ago
Husband: "I also have a twin brother." Let the stranger sit on that wrinkle to their rudeness.
#33
Marno Cameron 4 years ago
I imagine that would prompt a lot of people to offer to let you go ahead of them in line.
#34
Add New Image
What do you think ?
K Witmer 4 years ago
When I was pregnant I was 30 men and only men made comments. Most were sexual in nature and a few were bc they thought I was a teenager. One was an employee at blockbuster said my parents must be disappointed being an unwed teenager then he saw my wedding ring and said oh it was a shotgun wedding in front of a store full of people. I made him read my birthdate on my license out loud 3xs. Asked if he could do the math bc obviously he was an idiot.
Grace 4 years ago
I was 6 months pregnant with my first child and when someone asked how far along I was, she said Wow you're too big for only 6 months. 🙄 I'm still annoyed by that comment.
Cynner 4 years ago
I'm hearing this all the gdmn time.. oh, you sure it's just one? Or when I tell them my due date, they look at my belly again and say.. ohh..! Yes, i have a big belly for 5 months, no nothing is wrong. Still, reading all the above, most is much worse. Glad no stranger touched my belly or said something awful.
Load More Replies...
Vicky Z 4 years ago
Let's just all of us stop acting like police against women in the most sensitive and difficult time of their lives! Pregnancy is NOT a woman's best period! It's a very very very difficult time and we don't need to make it more difficult! If you don't have anything helpful to say then don't say anything and mind your own business! And anyone who is worried what the mother- to -be drinks, eats, or does, maybe should go into science and help make more researches which believe it or not, aren't that many for feminine issues! Stop doing anything for the sake of the baby is not an advice! It's another form of oppression for a woman!
K Witmer 4 years ago
When I was pregnant I was 30 men and only men made comments. Most were sexual in nature and a few were bc they thought I was a teenager. One was an employee at blockbuster said my parents must be disappointed being an unwed teenager then he saw my wedding ring and said oh it was a shotgun wedding in front of a store full of people. I made him read my birthdate on my license out loud 3xs. Asked if he could do the math bc obviously he was an idiot.
Grace 4 years ago
I was 6 months pregnant with my first child and when someone asked how far along I was, she said Wow you're too big for only 6 months. 🙄 I'm still annoyed by that comment.
Cynner 4 years ago
I'm hearing this all the gdmn time.. oh, you sure it's just one? Or when I tell them my due date, they look at my belly again and say.. ohh..! Yes, i have a big belly for 5 months, no nothing is wrong. Still, reading all the above, most is much worse. Glad no stranger touched my belly or said something awful.
Load More Replies... Vicky Z 4 years ago
Let's just all of us stop acting like police against women in the most sensitive and difficult time of their lives! Pregnancy is NOT a woman's best period! It's a very very very difficult time and we don't need to make it more difficult! If you don't have anything helpful to say then don't say anything and mind your own business! And anyone who is worried what the mother- to -be drinks, eats, or does, maybe should go into science and help make more researches which believe it or not, aren't that many for feminine issues! Stop doing anything for the sake of the baby is not an advice! It's another form of oppression for a woman!
Related on Bored Panda
