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The Lights Are On But No One Is Home: 45 People Who Realized Their SO Is Kinda Stupid
Interview With Expert
No one is immune to embarrassing moments. Some days, your brain just doesn’t seem to be working at full capacity, and you might accidentally say something stupid that you immediately regret. No worries, everybody makes mistakes! But if your significant other is around to hear it, you probably won’t ever be able to live it down.
Redditors have been recalling the most idiotic things they’ve ever caught their partners saying or doing, so we’ve gathered their funniest replies down below. Enjoy scrolling through these facepalm worthy moments, and be sure to upvote the ones that make you feel like Einstein in comparison. And keep reading to find a conversation with Master Certified Relationship Coach, Amie Leadingham!
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
When he straight up thought baby ducks were called quacklings. But to be honest, I actually prefer his version.
RELATED:
#2
Never took a shower, always a bath. I'd ask why and "she just hates showers" Finally our grown children pressured her into an answer.
"I just hate that first cold blast of water when it starts"
Kids and I look at each other for a while, I finally say "I hate it too, that's why I am usually OUTSIDE the shower when it happens"
Long awkward silence. She has been showering ever since..
Pieter LeGrande 1 month ago
It is amazing how small a fat guy can become when cowering in the corner of a shower cubicle.
#3
Oh god. My SO has his PHD and is, on paper, super smart. However, when we had a rare sunny day (I'm in Scotland) he got one of those disposable BBQs that are basically just a tray with the charcoal in it. He set it up on a wooden chair because apparently "it won't burn this". Cue one very charcoal chair.
Bonus story: he decided he didn't need to shut the electricity off to change a socket. Looked at me like I was an idiot for suggesting this and then proceeded to get an electric shock almost immediately.
Edit: sooo many people assume his PhD is in the arts. It's not - he has a masters in Engineering and a PhD in Neuroscience.
Scott Rackley 1 month ago
I've been bit by 110V (common voltage in the US) and I d**n sure don't want any 230V
To find out more about this topic, we got in touch with Master Certified Relationship Coach, Amie Leadingham. She was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda and discuss whether or not it's important to date someone who's on the same level as you intellectually.
"I think this really depends on whether intellectual compatibility is a non-negotiable for you personally," Amie shared. "For some people, having deep conversations and being intellectually challenged by their partner is essential to feeling fulfilled in a relationship. For others, different qualities like emotional connection, shared values, or complementary lifestyles matter more."
#4
He forgets the names of things, and so will often make up a new name in the middle of a sentence without breaking stride. My personal favorite was when he forgot what a sandwich was called, so he asked me to make him a "meat bread". Throughout the years I've become fluent in husband, but at first it would take me awhile to figure out what he was talking about.
He also does this thing where if he forgets someone's name, he renames them Terry in his mind. He called our neighbor Terry for over a year, to the man's face, until one day neighbor's wife finally corrected him and told him that neighbor's name was Neil.
My husband is an absolute idiot, but he's my idiot and I love the hell out of him!
Original Kinkster 1 month ago
Everyone should have their personal idiot. A personal idiot makes your life so much more fun and that's the reason why I'll marry her next week.
#5
I bought him a new watch and it was water resistant.
I told him I wanted to see him wearing it at the pool when we go do laps. He did two laps, got out, took off his watch and came back to the pool.
I asked him why he took it off. I thought maybe it was uncomfortable.
He told me it was water resistant “up to 100 meters” so he took it off after two 50 meter laps.
#6
My wife spent two hours installing a wireless printer because she didn't plug it in. "But it's **wireless**!"
She also cashed a check and when they asked if she wanted big or small bills she said regular size.
Both stories are absolutely true, and I'm so goddamned happy I married a living dad joke. (She's definitely no idiot though).
The dating expert also pointed out that intelligence isn't really one-dimensional. "Someone might not be well-read in literature but could be brilliant at understanding people's emotions or solving practical problems," Amie noted.
"I think what matters more than raw intelligence is mutual respect and appreciation. Happy relationships can absolutely exist between people of different intellectual levels if they value what the other person brings to the table," she continued.
#7
When she told me, quite seriously, that wind is made by trees.
You know, because they sway around which pushes the air around and thus makes wind.
She was not kidding.
#8
We were putting away the groceries when I see her take a new jar of salsa, open it, and put it in the fridge. I asked her why she did that and she said:
"It says right on the jar to refrigerate after opening."
I swear, she's smart as a whip most of the time.
Uncle Panda 1 month ago (edited)
Classic joke - "I don't like this recipe. It says put the roast in the oven and turn for two hours but after the first hour, I was dizzy as a goat."
#9
When she answered the door in a s**y negligee...when I was bringing my parents over for dinner. She then swore, ran off, came back and apologised to my parents for swearing then ran off again.
We also asked Amie if she believes people are more likely to do or say stupid things in front of their partners than in front of others. "Absolutely," she says. "It's actually one of the beautiful things about intimate relationships... We tend to be more comfortable and ourselves around our partners than anyone else."
"When you're with someone who you trust deeply, all those social filters and the constant self-monitoring we do around others starts to fall away. You're not trying to impress them anymore or maintain some polished version of yourself," she explained. "There's a freedom that comes with knowing someone accepts you, quirks and all."
#10
She was at the store and I remembered I needed some whole chickens for the weekend, so I call her up and ask her to grab a few. Over the phone she says "the big kind or the little kind?" "I dunno, the largest you can find, it doesn't really matter". She shows up at the house with two 25 pound turkeys. Her entire life she believed turkeys were just larger chickens.
#11
My wife is an English major. I gave her my favorite book *Eyewitness to History* to read. It is a compilation of stories that are people who have seen historic events first hand. It starts with the death of Socrates and goes to the 20th century. She told me she was skeptical because so many stories were written by the same person. His name? Anon.
#12
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN ALASKA ISN'T NEXT TO HAWAII " Followed by, ALASKA is connected to Canada??
Doctor Strange 1 month ago
Back in highschool, one of the most popular girls, on the cheerleading squad, every guy fighting over her because she was 'hot', was dumb as a brick. We spent half an hour in a class arguing with her, because she claimed Canada was the 52nd state because, and I quote, "It's right there". But Alaska was NOT a state because, and again I quote, "Its way over there." We could not convince her otherwise. Never did find out what the 51st state was...
So how can we tell if these idiotic moments are signs that the relationship isn't going to last?
"I think we need to approach this with some nuance. We are all flawed, and acceptance of our partner is absolutely key to any healthy relationship," Amie shared. "Everyone has moments of being ridiculous or making silly mistakes. That's just part of being human."
#13
I'll speak for my wife.
Up until about 2 years ago (I'm 30) I honestly believed goats were the male version of sheep.
I still don't live that down.
#14
My boyfriend insisted that cooking certain things in the microwave was a hassle since you had to "stop them early" because the microwave only cooked in 30-second increments. I'm not sure what he thought all the numbers were for, but his life changed that day.
#15
When he gorilla glued his bathroom door shut to see if he could break it down. He couldn't.
"Most of the time, these 'idiotic moments' are actually endearing if we have the right perspective," Amie continued. "They're opportunities to laugh together, to see each other's vulnerabilities, and to practice that acceptance we all crave. I think we should not only look past these moments, but sometimes, even treasure them as part of what makes our partner uniquely them."
#16
I've posted this before, but it's my favorite story.
In the middle of a conversation that was referencing Washington DC, he angrily stated that what I was saying was impossible, because people don't live in Washington DC.
I stopped, wait what?
"No one lives in Washington DC, they aren't allowed."
Are you serious?
"Yeah, only the President and the secret service live there, in the White House."
He was 26.
ElfVibratorGlitter 1 month ago
Hahaha, tell that to the now over 700,000 people who live in DC
#17
When the ex wife accused me of making up the word hypocritical after telling her that her actions were just that. "You think because you're smart you can make up words to call me and I won't notice?" One of those moments where you open your eyes really wide and take a moment to process what you're hearing.
#18
My husband told me that he never slept in hotel sheets because they "never washed them". So instead, he would wrap himself up in the comforter and sleep in that. The big fluffy comforter...
However, Amie did add that there's a clear line between harmless quirks and behaviors that signal deeper issues. "If someone is consistently disrespectful, laughing at you (not with you), and looking down on you, that's not okay," she told Bored Panda. "There's a difference between loving someone with all their imperfections and accepting treatment that undermines your self-worth."
#19
At night. She sleep-talks. Throughout the day she is very articulate and intelligent, but at night, if I listen to her babbling in her sleep, she says the stupidest things. "No, not THAT penguin", "I have to put my feet in the orange juice", "Are you a hobbit?", and so on. I think her brain has to purge all the dumb stuff it builds up during the day.
ElfVibratorGlitter 1 month ago
At least it's coherent. My partner sounds like he's summoning demons.
#20
Very early into our relationship she said something to the effect of, "I miss living in the mountains. When I lived in North Carolina, we had this beautiful mountain range... I think they called it the Rocky Mountains? Anyway... I wish we could go back sometime."
We live in the Appalachian Mountains... Just a little north of where she grew up... It's quite literally the same mountain range she saw as a kid...
ElfVibratorGlitter 1 month ago
Well to be fair the Appalachian mountains aren't nearly as big or impressive as the Rockies.
#21
He told me there was a giant tsunami rolling in. We live in Arizona.
Edit: This story is about an ex. He was dead serious when he said tsunami. I googled the definition of tsunami and told him what it was and he proceeded to call me an arrogant b***h.
Brian Droste 1 month ago (edited)
No wonder you got divorced. I know this isn't the only reason Op got a divorce. If he acted like this in this one incident, there more than likely many many more and other reasons they got a divorce.
#22
When she tried to convince me of her strongly held belief that the Blair Witch Project was real.
She wouldn't budge even after I showed her the actors names in the credits and *the actors taking part in an interview to promote the f*****g movie.*
* Edit: This was a high school girlfriend. My wife isn't an idiot as far as I can tell, but she did marry me, sooo.....
ElfVibratorGlitter 1 month ago
My friends and I in high school went to the Black Hills Forest just outside of Burkittsville, Maryland. So the forest is real....
#23
There was a trick going around that said something like, "there are two brothers. One is eight. One is half his age. When the oldest brother turns 50, how old is the younger brother?"
I had to explain to my husband a couple of times that the younger brother is not 25, but 46.
ElfVibratorGlitter 1 month ago
I mean maybe the younger brother díed in a car crash at 25....you don't know/s
#25
We sat on the porch of her rented house during university, smoking. It was nighttime, the stars were out. I saw Venus, asked her why she thought that star was *extra* bright (hoping to drop my planetary knowledge.)
She said maybe it's closer to us than the moon.
I said "What does that mean?"
"Like it's between us and the moon."
She then explained that she thought the stars float around and change their positions, and that they were small.
I ran into her house, told all her housemates, and we informed her about stars.
She's a PhD scientist.
Edit: Biology. Cigarettes.
As for it being rude of me to run in and tell her roommates, it was. But she didn't beleive me, thought I was messing with her. Told her the sun is a star and she laughed and was like 'now I KNOW you're kidding.." Went inside to confirm this with her roommates (also good friends of mine) and we all had a good laugh.
I'm no genius, can't point out countries on a map. We all have our faults, I just thought this one was particularly funny especially given that she is a brilliant scientist now (this was in 2nd year).
#26
My crazy ex girlfriend told me a story once about her very special car. See, she thought buying gas was for other people and that her car didn't need it. Evidently she didn't realize this wasn't the case till one day, she had run out of gas on the side of the road. Her ex boyfriend had been filling and keeping her tank full, so she just assumed her car ran off the battery.
This was nearly 15 years ago, where the notion of an electric car was futurology.
Doug Moyer 1 month ago
Umm. The first commercially produced electric cars were introduced in the late 1800s...
#27
When I asked him to grab the "crushed red pepper" for my pizza, and he got offended. He asked me why i didn't just say "the red flakes", and that I was just trying to sound smarter than him.
#28
My (now ex) and I had a phone conversation that ended up with us arguing over whether lead (as in the element) was heavy. I was impressed with something she did and told her "You are smooth like lead is heavy, baby!" and she got mad at me and thought I was making fun of her.
To make it worse, she is a nurse in a burn unit.. she's helped with x-rays. She's worn a lead lined vest.
Her logic "Pencils aren't heavy and they have lead in them!".
#29
When he insisted that kiwis (animals) were the same as kiwis (fruits). He found this photo and just wouldn't believe that it wasn't real. Just wow.
I ((un)fortunately) can say that this story is 100% true, and that as far as I could tell, he was NOT faking it. It's been a few years but I remember clearly the fervor with which he INSISTED that these kiwis were one and the same. There were many other things he did throughout the course of our relationship that made me realize he was an idiot, but needless to say, this took the cake. I think this was the point of no return, and we broke up a few months later. So, sadly, I can't troll him about Kiwis and kiwi polish -- I wish I'd had the presence of mind to do that then!
Caffeinated Ape 1 month ago
As someone from NZ I can't help but find this picture somewhat unsettling.
#30
Someone I dated in high school feared that the legalization of gay marriage would cause too many people in the world to turn gay and then there would be "no more babies."
He was quite serious, and when I tried to make more sense of it he insisted we change the subject. I continued to date him for several months after that. 15 year olds should not be allowed to be in relationships...
#31
When he saw the moon during the day, "It's not the moon. It's a reflection of the moon."
My VERY intelligent husband said this 7 years ago. I do believe he somehow misunderstood the sun's light reflecting off the moon and never questioned it. He understands space very well now. Yes, everything we see is because light is reflecting off it, but that's not what he meant at the time. I finally told him about this post when it ended up on college humor. He doesn't think it's as funny as I do 😬
#32
I'm half Arab.
She asked me where this country "Arab" is located... I told her there is no such country so she asked me if I'm coming from the country "Muslim" (I'm not even Muslim).
Since my father is Muslim she asked me " Why your father hate us?", because she was thinking that Muslim and ISIS was the same thing.
An ex thought that Guatemala and guacamole are the same thing.
Europe is a country.
I told a girl that I'm circumcised she asked me "How do you have s*x then?"
The Mediterranean Fruit 1 month ago
Reminds me of when someone I know called salsa "tomato guacamole."
#33
When she asked if it was still called an eclipse when the sun passes between earth and the moon.
#34
Prefacing by saying my husband is really a very, very intelligent guy. Who has his moments.
We woke up one day and had a flat tire. I sigh, but no big deal. Let's put in the spare, and take it to the shop.
He is adamant that his car does not have a spare. In fact, he would know if it had a spare, but it's a new car, and it doesn't.
I'm incredulous, and say I'm going to double check, just to make sure. He is standing by me with a smug face, ready for his "I told you so" moment.
Of course I lift the lid in the trunk, and what do we find, but a perfectly good spare tire?
Another time, I texted him that I was grounding the wires in our house, he called panicking because that sounded dangerous. I then got to explain what a ground wire does, and how electricity works, and that's perfectly safe to do it if you know what you are doing.
And then there was the time he tried to convince me that the sky is blue because it reflects the ocean. Somehow.
Edit: forgot the told in I told you so. Guess I'm a dummy too :)
Edit2: one more. He was helping me cook, and I poured a cup of sugar in a pan, and told him to start stirring when the sugar melted. He laughs and says that the recipe must be wrong, because sugar does not melt. Imagine the collective surprise when the sugar did, indeed, melt and became delicious lava caramel.
Edit3: so, apparently a lot of newer cars actually don't have spare tires, so I was risking looking really stupid too. And a lot of people were taught in school that the sky is blue because it reflects the ocean.
I asked him if he thinks maybe I'm the dumber one in the relationship and he said "you did lock yourself outside of the house in the rain last week", so he has a point.
ElfVibratorGlitter 1 month ago (edited)
The ocean is blue because it reflects the sky, Kidding! The sky is blue because of Rayleigh scattering, where shorter wavelengths of light (blue) are scattered more than longer wavelengths (red) by the molecules in the atmosphere.
#35
"Women five months pregnant can totally go skiing!"
"We can totally leave a 2 week old newborn with your parents and go on a week long trip, just the two of us!"
We don't have children, but boy oh boy is he in for a rude awakening if I ever get pregnant.
Edit: I have to clarify, I HAVE NEVER WENT SKIING IN MY LIFE.
#36
My partner and I were walking around a zoo kinda lost. She pulled out the little map/brochure they gave us when we came in and said, How come it doesn't say you are here on it?? Thats because its a piece of paper and we could be anywhere was my response haha.
#37
My husband thought New York City was in California and I still can't track the logic there.
#38
Cooked me a cup of noodles with no water.
#39
I dated a guy for a few months in high school who was... incredibly attractive. We'll say his name was Dave. Dave played for the football team, and I was a super nerd, so the fact that he wanted to go out with me blinded me to his faults. One of my friends told me constantly what an idiot Dave was, and I refused to see it. One day, my friend and I were sitting in the cafeteria, and he started to laugh at something stupid Dave had done. I got mad, but we dropped the subject, because here came Dave. Instead of hanging out, my friend left. He came back several minutes later with a textbook, opened a random page, and pointed to a shape. "Dave, what shape is that?" Dave stuttered around the word triangle for a minute, then flew into a rage (like, got actually violent) because he thought my friend was trying to trick him or something.
Long story short, I wound up breaking things off with him a few days later partially because of how scary he got when he was angry, but mostly because of that f*****g circle.
Bill Swallow 1 month ago
Wait, I'm confused. Are you saying that Dave was trying to stammer out the word 'Triangle' - for a CIRCLE? Is that what I'm hearing here?
#40
When he changed the light bulb over our kitchen sink 4 times and kept throwing away the bulbs thinking they were all bad. I finally walked over and flipped the correct light switch for that light- the one next to the garbage disposal on the opposite wall from all the other switches.
We had been living in this house for over ten years at that point. He had used that light countless times. I love the guy but he definitely has his moments (I'm sure I do too).
Edit: I feel kind of bad that my top rated comment is about my husband being an idiot! At least he has a good sense of humor about himself.
Jennifer Drake 1 month ago (edited)
This is actually quite adorable. I was once so frazzled I put my laundry detergent in the fridge and my milk in the laundry room. 😩 No judgment here.
#41
The second time I found a sock in the fridge.
Space Invader 1 month ago
Afterwards, the marriage was called off, because one of them got cold feet.
#42
My husband has movie amnesia. He has no idea what he has or hasn't seen, and oh lord just forget asking him the title of anything, he's clueless. Most recently he recognized an actress from "Saving Sarah Silverman" and was so proud. Until I told him the movie is called Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Edit: I know there's a movie called Saving Silverman, an actress named Sara Silverman, a movie called Saving Private Ryan, etc but my husband does not claim to know any of them, yet somehow mushed them together in his mind to create his own film.
Edit 2: he's actually incredibly intelligent, which makes this one flaw so funny to me. He also cannot recall names of actors or recognize them from other films, nor can he explain a plot line to save his life. If he was being held at gunpoint and you told him to describe a movie he'd JUST watched, he'd prob be shot.
Doug Moyer 1 month ago
I can't recognize the characters that were in the movie fifteen minutes earlier. Drives my wife crazy because I'm constantly asking "who is that?". I don't enjoy watching movies...
#43
I told a joke and my girlfriend did the playful hit thing. When I asked why she hit me she replied with she was upset I was making fun of her. I was not. She just didn't get the joke. I then inquired as to how often I said things and she didn't get, but laughed because everyone else did. She said "About 50% of the time.".
#44
We were on a road trip and he pointed out "a furry armadillo." He was pointing to an opossum.
The man has a nuclear engineering degree and MBA.
Brian Droste 1 month ago
On another BP post recently I made a comment that does anyone else see that armadillos are just opossums with armor?
#45
When it took him a year of dating and a year of marriage before he figured out that I'm left handed.
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Carney 1 month ago
We have a small farm where we raise organic produce and keep loads of animals. Last year a new family moved into the house bordering out property and close to where our chickens have their pen. The new neighbors kids love coming over to see the animals and to play, which we support since they are always well-mannered. A couple of weeks after they moved in, we let the kids pick out a dozen eggs from our chickens. Later that afternoon, the mother came over to see me. She was (is) very lovely, but clearly a city person. She thanked me for allowing her kids to take the eggs but she had thrown them away. Curious, I asked why. Because they cannot be eaten, right? You have to buy eggs at a grocery store because "wild" eggs are not edible. WHAT?! "Yes, wild eggs aren't real eggs, they are just for show." I couldn't stop laughing, As I said, they are great neighbors and intelligent, but very much city people who are still learning how to live in the country.
Nina 1 month ago
Intellect doesn't equal common sense or smarts. Had a class mate like this as well, really intelligent, but they could really not 'get' everyday things sometimes.
Roxy222uk 1 month ago
Plus everyone has stuff they've been fascinated by since birth, and have a good background knowledge on, while others just haven't been that interested because they've always been fascinated elsewhere. When I was at school my best friend thought it was shocking I couldn't name any of the players in the England football team and I was stunned when she looked at my sister's pet and asked if rabbits could climb trees.
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Carney 1 month ago
We have a small farm where we raise organic produce and keep loads of animals. Last year a new family moved into the house bordering out property and close to where our chickens have their pen. The new neighbors kids love coming over to see the animals and to play, which we support since they are always well-mannered. A couple of weeks after they moved in, we let the kids pick out a dozen eggs from our chickens. Later that afternoon, the mother came over to see me. She was (is) very lovely, but clearly a city person. She thanked me for allowing her kids to take the eggs but she had thrown them away. Curious, I asked why. Because they cannot be eaten, right? You have to buy eggs at a grocery store because "wild" eggs are not edible. WHAT?! "Yes, wild eggs aren't real eggs, they are just for show." I couldn't stop laughing, As I said, they are great neighbors and intelligent, but very much city people who are still learning how to live in the country.
Nina 1 month ago
Intellect doesn't equal common sense or smarts. Had a class mate like this as well, really intelligent, but they could really not 'get' everyday things sometimes.
Roxy222uk 1 month ago
Plus everyone has stuff they've been fascinated by since birth, and have a good background knowledge on, while others just haven't been that interested because they've always been fascinated elsewhere. When I was at school my best friend thought it was shocking I couldn't name any of the players in the England football team and I was stunned when she looked at my sister's pet and asked if rabbits could climb trees.
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