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Man Reaches His Limit And Wants Pregnant Wife To Move Out After She Tries To Test His Loyalty
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Man Reaches His Limit And Wants Pregnant Wife To Move Out After She Tries To Test His Loyalty

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Toxic relationships are never good for anyone involved. However, these red flags are not always noticed on time, and even when they are, there is a decent chance they might also get ignored, which eventually creates some tricky situations.

One Redditor recently shared about one of these situations. His wife, who was pregnant with their daughter at the time, was very irritable, insecure, and easily angered. But for all her terrible treatment, the overworked husband was still pulling through, up until she decided to test his loyalty, too. Scroll down to read the full story!

More info: Reddit

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Carrying a child might be a very challenging task, but even this doesn’t excuse being verbally and emotionally abusive to your spouse

Image credits: SHVETS production (not the actual photo)

A man spent most of his time to provide for his pregnant wife and their future daughter, but the woman rarely found anything positive in this

Image credits: Amina Filkins (not the actual photo)

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The man kept enduring his wife’s constant anger and insults, but he lost it when she decided to ‘test’ his loyalty by sending a friend to hit on him at the gym

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Image credits: stupidtest

When the husband came home and was told about the ‘test,’ he got mad and started to consider asking his wife to move out despite her hugs and apologies

The OP began by sharing that when he and his wife found out they were expecting a child, they were very happy and excited about it. However, it didn’t take long for things to start rolling downhill.

The woman often got angry and irritated over the smallest things and never hesitated to insult her husband. For example, she would often ask for certain meals, eat everything, and then tell her husband that it tasted absolutely horrible.

This repeated behavior continued for quite a while, but the man avoided arguing about it, as he was often exhausted from working over 80 hours a week. However, when his wife’s best friend convinced her to test his loyalty by sending another friend to hit on him at the gym, the man lost it.

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When he returned home after rejecting that friend, the pregnant woman came over with hugs and apologies, telling him that he had passed the test. But the OP was mad, and he started to consider asking her to move out.

The commenters had mixed feelings about the matter. While most agreed that the poster’s situation was terrible and he was right to want to get out of it, many felt that making a pregnant woman move out just like that would be kind of a jerk move. However, some were also quick to write down the wife’s behavior due to pregnancy hormones and attempted to justify her actions.

Image credits: Ketut Subiyanto (not the actual photo)

Among the advice given to the OP by the commenters, there were many suggestions to try therapy. While we have no idea if the couple attempted this type of method themselves, we decided to take that advice in our own way, so Bored Panda reached out to therapeutic life coach Nick Hatter, who was glad to consult us about this situation.

We began by asking the expert just how much of the OP’s wife’s behavior can be excused as a hormonal imbalance caused by pregnancy. To this, Nick replied by saying that while these hormonal changes affect emotions and mood, verbal and emotional abuse goes way beyond the line of what’s normal in such a situation.

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“She sounds resentful, unappreciative, and potentially narcissistic. And if he thinks she is bad now, wait until she is also sleep-deprived from waking up in the night because of the baby,” continued the therapeutic life coach, adding that the wife’s behavior is likely to only get worse, and since abused husbands are rarely taken seriously, as per an experiment published by BBC, it may be wise to end things sooner rather than later, as it may be a better option for both the OP and his child.

Nick went further, questioning whether the author had been treated this way from the start, saying that in cases of low self-esteem, people often ignore or even are unaware of the red flags because they are desperate for love and affection. “‘Being tested’ like that is, in itself, a massive breach of trust… She sounds very insecure, and it makes me wonder whether she has cheated or had an affair herself; is she projecting her own thoughts and behaviors onto him?”

Image credits: Vlada Karpovich (not the actual photo)

But before making any harsh decisions, the expert suggested that the man vocalize his feelings to his wife and ask himself, “Is this relationship in a hospice or hospital?”

“If it’s the former, then a swift and clean divorce should take place with as little collateral damage as possible. If it’s the latter, then couples counseling or coaching might be worth a shot. Sadly, as a professional coach myself, I am doubtful that much can be done for their relationship.”

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The expert proposed that if the OP chose to go for divorce, he should start by lawyering up, as the wife might not let go of the relationship so easily. And for when he’s ready to get back out there, Nick left an open invitation to his free live training sessions on dating and overcoming anxiety surrounding it, which might just help the author or anyone else in need find a great partner and avoid falling into a similar situation.

To summarize this, a great quote by American author and screenwriter Stephen Chbosky comes to mind: “We accept the love we think we deserve.” Nowadays, most people have the freedom to choose who they want to spend their lives with. And if they find themselves in a toxic relationship like the one OP was in, you can either accept and live with it or make a choice to turn it all around. But whatever you do, it’s all in your hands.

What did you think about this story? Have you ever dealt with anything similar? Tell us all about it in the comments below!

The commenters had mixed opinions, with some supporting the husband and others defending the wife while writing off her behavior as pregnancy hormones

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Dominykas Zukas

Dominykas Zukas

Writer, BoredPanda staff

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Hey! I’m Dominykas, and I come from Lithuania. According to my diploma, I’m a UX Designer. However, when during my studies, I (re)discovered my passion for storytelling, I’ve been doing that ever since, mostly in writing. I have written a few short stories, some songs, and a good bunch of articles, and I plan to keep expanding on all these fronts. Aside from that, I’m also a film buff, traveler, casual basketball player, video game enthusiast, and nature lover who will rarely pass up on a little hike through the forest or a simple walk around a park.

Read less »
Dominykas Zukas

Dominykas Zukas

Writer, BoredPanda staff

Hey! I’m Dominykas, and I come from Lithuania. According to my diploma, I’m a UX Designer. However, when during my studies, I (re)discovered my passion for storytelling, I’ve been doing that ever since, mostly in writing. I have written a few short stories, some songs, and a good bunch of articles, and I plan to keep expanding on all these fronts. Aside from that, I’m also a film buff, traveler, casual basketball player, video game enthusiast, and nature lover who will rarely pass up on a little hike through the forest or a simple walk around a park.

Denis Krotovas

Denis Krotovas

Author, BoredPanda staff

Read more »

I am a Visual Editor at Bored Panda. While studying at Vilnius Tech University, I learned how to use Photoshop and decided to continue mastering it at Bored Panda. I am interested in learning UI/UX design and creating unique designs for apps, games and websites. On my spare time, I enjoy playing video and board games, watching TV shows and movies and reading funny posts on the internet.

Read less »

Denis Krotovas

Denis Krotovas

Author, BoredPanda staff

I am a Visual Editor at Bored Panda. While studying at Vilnius Tech University, I learned how to use Photoshop and decided to continue mastering it at Bored Panda. I am interested in learning UI/UX design and creating unique designs for apps, games and websites. On my spare time, I enjoy playing video and board games, watching TV shows and movies and reading funny posts on the internet.

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b5delenn avatar
Delenn
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She should go to a psychiatrist, pregnant woman can develop depression, anxiety, OCD and even psicosis.

libstak avatar
Libstak
Community Member
1 week ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes and she needs to lose that so called friend, unless that was her palming off the blame to look less guilty to him.

Load More Replies...
nikia_2 avatar
Niki A
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Low key, I began to behave like this after I had my baby and was on the mini pill. I was breastfeeding, taking care of two kids, and I was isolated. My mental health took a dive. I didn't do a loyalty test, but I did accuse him of everything under the sun. We did away with one of my anxiety meds, and when I improved, but I didn't seem to feel better, we checked my hormones. HOLY HALIBUT was I messed up. My hormones were INSANE. We dropped the mini pill and my hormones leveled out with no harm to my milk supply. Just saying, these are symptoms of something else, and her friend is an AH for not helping bring her back down. That being said, OP, this is NOT a free pass. Communication is KEY.

Load More Comments
b5delenn avatar
Delenn
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She should go to a psychiatrist, pregnant woman can develop depression, anxiety, OCD and even psicosis.

libstak avatar
Libstak
Community Member
1 week ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes and she needs to lose that so called friend, unless that was her palming off the blame to look less guilty to him.

Load More Replies...
nikia_2 avatar
Niki A
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Low key, I began to behave like this after I had my baby and was on the mini pill. I was breastfeeding, taking care of two kids, and I was isolated. My mental health took a dive. I didn't do a loyalty test, but I did accuse him of everything under the sun. We did away with one of my anxiety meds, and when I improved, but I didn't seem to feel better, we checked my hormones. HOLY HALIBUT was I messed up. My hormones were INSANE. We dropped the mini pill and my hormones leveled out with no harm to my milk supply. Just saying, these are symptoms of something else, and her friend is an AH for not helping bring her back down. That being said, OP, this is NOT a free pass. Communication is KEY.

Load More Comments
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