Parents Ignore Teen’s Request To Not Invite 5 Y.O. Nephew To B-Day Party, It Ends In Disaster
Interview With Expert
I think there are many people who like kids just as long as they don’t scream, don’t throw tantrums and don’t ruin the time that you planned to spend calmly. Probably most of us know how it feels to share a plane with a screaming kid or have somebody running around and screaming when you are trying to have lunch.
Or when you are having a birthday party – one Reddit user asked his parents not to invite his 5-year-old nephew to his birthday due to knowing it was going to bring trouble. Well, spoiler alert – they insisted that everybody participate, which caused quite a bit of chaos, to say the least.
More info: Reddit
At birthday parties, you would think that people come to meet the celebrant, but, well, not always
Image credits: Eduardo Barrientos (not the actual photo)
Teen shares that he had his birthday party where everything was going great until the arrival of his 5 Y.O. nephew, whom he didn’t want there in the first place
Image credits: Thanh Tran (not the actual photo)
He added that his nephew is not well behaved, but his parents insisted that their grandkid be there and if something went wrong, they would take responsibility for it
Image credits: Pixabay (not the actual photo)
Well, his nephew threw the birthday cake on the floor because he didn’t get to blow out the candles and the teen’s brother compensated his parents for it
Image credits: u/Awkward_Bag_1250
A few days later, after his parents scolded him for turning down dinner with his brother, he flatly told them that they are responsible for ruining his birthday and not his brother
A couple of days ago, one Reddit user shared his story online asking community members if he was being a jerk for telling his parents that it’s their fault his nephew came to his birthday party against his wishes, threw a tantrum and ruined his party. The post received a lot of netizens’ attention and collected almost 10K upvotes and 700 comments.
The original poster (OP) starts his story by sharing that he had his birthday party recently, where everything was going well until his 5-year-old nephew came, who, as the teen pointed out, is spoiled and not well behaved. However, despite the teen’s protests that his nephew shouldn’t be at his party, his parents insisted that he shouldn’t feel excluded and if something did happen, they would take responsibility for it.
Well, the nephew got upset that he didn’t get to blow out the candles and threw the birthday cake on the floor. OP shared that he was disappointed, but not surprised, and his brother compensated his parents for the birthday cake. Now, a few days later, the teen’s brother gave him a call inviting him for an apology birthday dinner, but OP assured him that it was no big deal and he had plans anyway, so he couldn’t attend.
However, when his parents found out that he declined the invitation and scolded the teen for making his brother feel even worse, he bluntly told them that it was their fault and he doesn’t blame his brother for the ruined birthday party.
Community members backed up the teen and gave him the ‘Not the A-hole’ badge. “NTA. Your parents clearly knew what they were doing and invited your nephew despite your warnings to not do so,” one user wrote. “They care more about seeing their grandchild than about you, your happiness and comfort. NTA,” another added.
Image credits: Migs Reyes (not the actual photo)
“I think the parent/carer knows their child best and should assess each invite to determine whether it might be suitable or not or to act accordingly,” shared Vicki Broadbent, Bored Panda’s parenting expert. “For example, if your toddler is shouting through a wedding ceremony, do move out of that space somewhere your child can calm down so you’re not ruining the day for others.”
Vicki added that often it takes a change of scenery or a distraction to help a young child calm down. “There will be invites that you deem inappropriate for your child, perhaps an evening gathering or an event which might disrupt their routine so you should use your judgement on whether attending makes sense for your child or not. And if not, make arrangements for babysitters or family to care so you can still attend if you so wish.”
Now, speaking about how parents can balance the desire to include all family members in social gatherings while also ensuring the event remains enjoyable for everyone involved, Vicki emphasized that if those hosting the party inform everyone invited that their policy is no young children, for example, that is fair. “As long as they stick to that, no one should feel offended.”
She pointed out that notifying others in advance is fair and polite and then it’s up to those invitees whether they want to accept or not. “Also, arranging an alternative gathering that is suitable for all family members and friends might prove a useful compromise – such as meeting in an outside space such as a park for a picnic or in a safe space for children who might feel frustrated by loud noises and large gatherings.”
Finally, it’s quite common that a toddler’s behavior becomes challenging during a party, thus Vicki shared that parents have a duty of care towards their child, to keep them safe. “Taking them out of the room and helping them calm down is the best start,” she emphasized. “If they are overstimulated, consider taking them home. Our children, their needs and their behavior constantly evolve, so we must be responsive to that and make sound judgments when it comes to accepting invites.”
The parenting expert added that parents should always be prepared with snacks, toys, books and games too. “Society as a whole should be more accepting and understanding of children.”
“Tantrums are a completely normal part of young children’s development,” Vicki noted. “I often feel like saying to those clearly judging parents with crying babies and toddlers to try and remember that they too were young once.” But what do you guys think about this story? Share your thoughts below!
Redditors shamed the parents for making a promise and not keeping it
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NTA Tbh the 15 year old was more mature than anyone else there! He made it clear he did not want his nephew there and his reluctance was justified.
Agreed... The parents were warned.....
Load More Replies...
Best birth control on earth... misbehavior of children, and the shítty adults that allow it.
Best birth control on earth is Walmart on a Saturday afternoon. (It's the Walmart version of the same pill.)
Load More Replies...
Its every f*cking aggregator website. They all do it. These days, picture and story aggregator blogs are just copied reddit content and amazon ads. The internet sucks these days. Bring back Rotten.com
Load More Replies...
The parents are getting mad because the brother paying and taking him out for a meal, more money didn't fix the problem. I'm sensing a pattern here. So they all just throw money at the problem. OP just needs to be calm and collected and do their own thing tbh.
More like the parents will throw someone else’s money at a problem caused by what I suspect is their first grandchild—-who is usually also the most spoiled grandchild.
Load More Replies...
If I was the parent of the 5 year old i would discuss a lot with him beforehand and be alert all the time in order to avoid anything like that. I mostly blame the parent and then the grandparents.
OP says he doesn't blame his brother, but his brother is responsible due to his bad parenting. Obviously OP's parents are also part of the bigger problem. I'm so sick of the "I don't want them to feel bad" attitude. Kids need to learn their actions have consequences, and the sooner the better.
His parents are as childish as his Nephew. And his brother sounds like a straight up bad parent.
Parents who give the silent treatment to their children? Very immature.
It's also very painful for the person who is being ignored. I grew up with this. It's loathsome, pitiless, and disgusting. It makes you feel worthless.
Load More Replies...
Both of my parents would have torn my a*s to pieces with spankings if I had done this.
I have a niece like this and unfortunately she's almost an adult now and still can't tolerate hearing "no." No one thinks it's cute anymore, even the people defending it when she was little (led by doting and overbearing grandparents). The worst part is, they don't realize what a disservice they've done to the kid by making her think she's the center of the world and have no resilience or coping mechanisms for inevitably learning she's not.
Both sets of parents are to blame here. I get the brother wasn't planning in bringing the kid until pressed, but be real here, he raised him. That's 100% on him for not curbing that sort of behavior. And I don't care how much you want to visit with your grandchild, if this sort of behavior is common, letting your underage son's event is grossly inappropriate. And their behavior in being called out is teaching a horrible lesson too.
They disrespected and ignored his prescient warnings, now they want to buy his "forgiveness" instead of taking responsbility for their actions. He rightfully called them out, and should continue to do so.
My family have 3 kids who love to blow candles on a cake. The birthday person will blow the candles first, then the candles will be reignited for a few times, giving each kid chance to blow them out. Or cut the cake and put a candle of that piece of cake for every kid to blow. It just that they love to blow the candles.
That's how you end up with a coating of spit on your cake. 1 cake. 1 birthday person. If your kids love to blow out candles, make them seperate cupcakes, at home, not on the birthday.
Load More Replies...
My family always had a family party and a friends only party once me, my brother, and my cousins got to a certain age. The family party was seen as a celebration for the birthday kid yes, but a family event first. If the littlest kid wanted to blow out the candles, we (my generation of the cousins) always let them because the event was more about being together as a family and having fun. OP is still NTA, this feels like a history of the nephew receiving priority over themselves, when OP is still themselves a child in the care of their parents. OP's brother needs to do a better job raising his son or he's going to be in for hell once they're a teenager.
So BP Parenting expert says something about tantrums being a normal part of toddler behavior...5 is no longer a toddler. I agree the parents are responsible and should do something to make things right, and it seems they plan to. Though brother is actually paying for it. Reading the story, the 15 yo sounds more mature than the parents!
On the bright side, this young man’s brother and parents have a bestseller in the making: How to Enable and Abet the Creation of a Narcissistic Lunatic…”
Wait 'til this kid gets into 1st grade. He's either going to be a huge bully, or he's going to get his butt handed to him by other kids. They better do something about their lazy attitudes, and his behavioral problems pretty quick, or he's going to be one unhappy kid. Edit for spelling.
NTA the the kid five if he wouldn’t have been invited he wouldn’t probably wouldn’t remember when he was older anyway, or if you don’t won’t him to feel left out just don’t tell him about it.
NTA. Both the brother and grandparents are 100% responsible for the birthday fiasco. The grandparents knew that they had no intention of keeping their word to OP about not inviting that Tasmanian devil. The brother knew that his son was going to ruin OP's party somehow. Neither did anything to stop it. No doubt that Dear Brother is in the habit of opening his wallet each time his kid wrecks something (i.e. tossing a bone). It's not only inadequate, it's insulting. OP would be wise to make other arrangements for any future celebrations, in order to avoid repeat performances of this kind of mayhem. Let Mom, Pop, and Brother get as agitated and offended as they choose; OP deserves to have a fun time without a spoiled brat ruining the festivities.
Obviously a male oriented culture where the oldest son and his oldest son are the most important children. In my culture, a 15 year old would want the party to be with his friends, not family.
NTA Tbh the 15 year old was more mature than anyone else there! He made it clear he did not want his nephew there and his reluctance was justified.
Agreed... The parents were warned.....
Load More Replies... Best birth control on earth... misbehavior of children, and the shítty adults that allow it.
Best birth control on earth is Walmart on a Saturday afternoon. (It's the Walmart version of the same pill.)
Load More Replies... Its every f*cking aggregator website. They all do it. These days, picture and story aggregator blogs are just copied reddit content and amazon ads. The internet sucks these days. Bring back Rotten.com
Load More Replies... The parents are getting mad because the brother paying and taking him out for a meal, more money didn't fix the problem. I'm sensing a pattern here. So they all just throw money at the problem. OP just needs to be calm and collected and do their own thing tbh.
More like the parents will throw someone else’s money at a problem caused by what I suspect is their first grandchild—-who is usually also the most spoiled grandchild.
Load More Replies... If I was the parent of the 5 year old i would discuss a lot with him beforehand and be alert all the time in order to avoid anything like that. I mostly blame the parent and then the grandparents.
OP says he doesn't blame his brother, but his brother is responsible due to his bad parenting. Obviously OP's parents are also part of the bigger problem. I'm so sick of the "I don't want them to feel bad" attitude. Kids need to learn their actions have consequences, and the sooner the better.
His parents are as childish as his Nephew. And his brother sounds like a straight up bad parent.
Parents who give the silent treatment to their children? Very immature.
It's also very painful for the person who is being ignored. I grew up with this. It's loathsome, pitiless, and disgusting. It makes you feel worthless.
Load More Replies... Both of my parents would have torn my a*s to pieces with spankings if I had done this.
I have a niece like this and unfortunately she's almost an adult now and still can't tolerate hearing "no." No one thinks it's cute anymore, even the people defending it when she was little (led by doting and overbearing grandparents). The worst part is, they don't realize what a disservice they've done to the kid by making her think she's the center of the world and have no resilience or coping mechanisms for inevitably learning she's not.
Both sets of parents are to blame here. I get the brother wasn't planning in bringing the kid until pressed, but be real here, he raised him. That's 100% on him for not curbing that sort of behavior. And I don't care how much you want to visit with your grandchild, if this sort of behavior is common, letting your underage son's event is grossly inappropriate. And their behavior in being called out is teaching a horrible lesson too.
They disrespected and ignored his prescient warnings, now they want to buy his "forgiveness" instead of taking responsbility for their actions. He rightfully called them out, and should continue to do so.
My family have 3 kids who love to blow candles on a cake. The birthday person will blow the candles first, then the candles will be reignited for a few times, giving each kid chance to blow them out. Or cut the cake and put a candle of that piece of cake for every kid to blow. It just that they love to blow the candles.
That's how you end up with a coating of spit on your cake. 1 cake. 1 birthday person. If your kids love to blow out candles, make them seperate cupcakes, at home, not on the birthday.
Load More Replies... My family always had a family party and a friends only party once me, my brother, and my cousins got to a certain age. The family party was seen as a celebration for the birthday kid yes, but a family event first. If the littlest kid wanted to blow out the candles, we (my generation of the cousins) always let them because the event was more about being together as a family and having fun. OP is still NTA, this feels like a history of the nephew receiving priority over themselves, when OP is still themselves a child in the care of their parents. OP's brother needs to do a better job raising his son or he's going to be in for hell once they're a teenager.
So BP Parenting expert says something about tantrums being a normal part of toddler behavior...5 is no longer a toddler. I agree the parents are responsible and should do something to make things right, and it seems they plan to. Though brother is actually paying for it. Reading the story, the 15 yo sounds more mature than the parents!
On the bright side, this young man’s brother and parents have a bestseller in the making: How to Enable and Abet the Creation of a Narcissistic Lunatic…”
Wait 'til this kid gets into 1st grade. He's either going to be a huge bully, or he's going to get his butt handed to him by other kids. They better do something about their lazy attitudes, and his behavioral problems pretty quick, or he's going to be one unhappy kid. Edit for spelling.
NTA the the kid five if he wouldn’t have been invited he wouldn’t probably wouldn’t remember when he was older anyway, or if you don’t won’t him to feel left out just don’t tell him about it.
NTA. Both the brother and grandparents are 100% responsible for the birthday fiasco. The grandparents knew that they had no intention of keeping their word to OP about not inviting that Tasmanian devil. The brother knew that his son was going to ruin OP's party somehow. Neither did anything to stop it. No doubt that Dear Brother is in the habit of opening his wallet each time his kid wrecks something (i.e. tossing a bone). It's not only inadequate, it's insulting. OP would be wise to make other arrangements for any future celebrations, in order to avoid repeat performances of this kind of mayhem. Let Mom, Pop, and Brother get as agitated and offended as they choose; OP deserves to have a fun time without a spoiled brat ruining the festivities.
Obviously a male oriented culture where the oldest son and his oldest son are the most important children. In my culture, a 15 year old would want the party to be with his friends, not family.
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