Woman Confronts Son’s BFF’s Mother After She Learns That Her Boy Was Cut Off From Their Shared Lunch To Save Money
One of the best perks of being a kid is having no worries. Kids don’t have to stress about how they will pay rent, making sure they do their taxes on time, taking care of children or where their next meal will come from. Well, they shouldn’t have to worry about any of those things. But unfortunately, there are some kids who grow up in environments where they don’t have the luxury of coming home to a refrigerator full of food or parents who will pack them lunch every morning. In fact, there are many kids in that situation, as according to No Kid Hungry, as many as 9 million children in the United States currently live in “food insecure” households.
One parent on Reddit recently shared that their son’s best friend is one of those children. They noted that, in the past, they had been ensuring that the boy always got lunch, but recently, things have changed. The parent is now wondering if they were in the wrong for prohibiting their son for sharing food with his friend, and many passionate readers have weighed in. Below, you can read the parent’s full explanation, as well as some of the replies it has received, and an interview we were lucky enough to receive from Executive Director of Brown Bagging for Calgary’s Kids, Bethany Ross.
Then let us know in the comments how you feel about all of this. Have you ever helped a child who you knew might go hungry if you didn’t? Or do you know what it feels like to be the child left without lunch?
More info: Reddit
After deciding not to pack lunches for their son’s best friend anymore, this parent is wondering if they handled the situation poorly
Image credits: Hillshire Farm (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Taylor Flowe (not the actual photo)
While it is not this parent’s fault that their son’s best friend does not have enough money or food at home for lunch, once they became aware of the situation, it became their responsibility. As an adult, they understand that no child should go without lunch, and they should have taken steps to ensure this boy would never go without a meal. Most schools have programs that will provide free meals to kids in need, if their parents cannot afford to pay for lunch, but these programs are of no use if no one reaches out for help. It should not be this young boy’s responsibility to notify the school that he does not have food at home, but this parent can be his advocate and speak up to make sure he is well-fed and taken care of.
To gain more insight into this topic, we reached out to Bethany Ross, Executive Director of Brown Bagging for Calgary’s Kids, a Canadian organization that seeks to ensure no kid is ever without lunch. First, we asked Bethany how common it is for children to be going hungry at home or in school. “Every day, we see more and more kids and families facing food insecurity,” she told Bored Panda. “Alberta had the highest rate of food insecurity in 2021 at 20.3%. 1 in 5 children under the age of 18 lives in a household that experienced some level of food insecurity. There are studies that show that a kid experiencing food insecurity loses 132 minutes of learning each day if they are hungry at school … It is a pretty common issue. We are close to providing lunch for 6,000 kids every school day.”
We also asked Bethany what adults should do when they become aware of a child who is going hungry. “If they’re in Calgary, they can talk to their school and ask about the Brown Bagging for Calgary’s Kids (BB4CK) program. Our program is on over 225 schools in Calgary. If our program is not in a school, please reach out to our family connector Jasmine at jasmine@bb4ck.org. She will happily help families find food resources in our city. We are a barrier-free program, which means if a kid needs lunch we will give them lunch. No questions asked.”
“For folks outside of Calgary, we’d encourage them to reach out to their school or to find local resources that can help. Many cities have the option to call 211 to learn about community support,” Bethany says. And for pandas who aren’t living in Canada, you may need to do a bit of research about the programs available in your own countries, but if you’re living in the US, you can contact No Kid Hungry, and if you’re living in the UK, you can reach out to The Food Foundation.
Helping food insecure children can make a huge difference in many people’s lives. Bethany shared with Bored Panda that, “Over 400 volunteers get together in over 30 BB4CK kitchens to make sure close to 6,000 kids receive a sandwich, fruit, veggies and snacks every school day. We reach as many kids as we can and provide them with a nutritious lunch that fills their bellies and minds. People can help in many different ways, they can volunteer in one of our kitchens, donate, host a snack drive, host a fundraiser event and follow us on social media, helping us raise awareness. Talking about food insecurity for kids, and how this is an issue that impacts nearly everyone in a community, is also a valuable way to help make changes, so all kids have the food they need.”
“We are here to help,” Bethany added. “We know with high food prices, more and more families are stretching their dollars to make ends meet. We can help by providing a nutritious lunch every school day. Please don’t hesitate to reach out.” If you live in Calgary and want to learn more about BB4CK, you can find their website right here.
As many readers pointed out, in this particular child’s household, there may be more issues at hand than just a lack of food. Sadly, the bizarre and neglectful behavior of the parents might constitute a call to Child Protective Services. And as someone who has been made aware about this situation, it would be wrong for this parent to ignore a child in need. Even if there is nothing illegal happening in that home, starving a child should never go unpunished or unnoticed. It is much better for this parent to get involved and have someone doing welfare checks on this child than to allow more time, and more trauma, to take place.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this upsetting topic in the comments down below. If you’ve ever had to intervene to help out a child in need, feel free to share how you went about it, and if you know of any more resources to contact in situations like this, you can share them with your fellow pandas as well. No person on this planet should ever be forced to skip meals, especially children who depend on adults to look out for them and care for them.
Many readers told the parent that they should have done more to help, including contacting the school and/or authorities
My policy is to always feed the hungry kid. I don’t care why they are hungry, I feed the hungry kid. Two pieces of bread with turkey or a yogurt and a banana won’t put you into financial crisis. Report to CPS if you think there is a neglectful situation, but feed the hungry kid in the meantime.
Yes! When I was in middle school (late 80s-early 90s), I had a group of friends. There were 5 of us, and two of the kids barely brought any food for lunchtime - sometimes just a baggie of chips or a juice box. The 5 of us always “pooled” our lunches and made sure everyone got equal amounts of food from the pool. We did this instinctively. Kids have to be taught to be a-holes.
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I don't understand why this mom didn't at the very least get the school involved and make sure he was getting a free lunch. What did she think this child did on days her son was out sick? Also a lot of schools provide a breakfast before school. And like some people have mentioned it seems pretty obvious the kid is being neglected and the patents need investigated. He needs serious help, not just a meal.
Because his parents have to fill out the paper work for free lunch. It’s a federal program that requires paperwork. Try turning someone into DCFS. They figure it out usually. That parent comes after you with a vengeance.
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Years ago, I was in Peter's situation. A friend would occasionally buy an extra sandwich, but then say he wasn't that hungry, and offer it to me. He was close enough to guess something was wrong at my house because I never had anyone over, but didn't know exactly what was going on. I had previously been in a church-run "children's home" that was worse than going hungry living with my mentally ill single parent. If someone had called CPS, I'd have worried about being sent back to institutional care and may have run away to live on the street. Situations can be complicated and reporting to CPS etc. can have unintended consequences (though I hope things are better now than when I was younger).
That was much the same as my thoughts with all the people jumping straight to cps. If you see injuries ya, but if you have vague suspicions based on the reports of a 12-13 year old, you should at least be investing a little first. Like maybe try being a human and connecting with your child's "best friends" parents. For all she knows the kid did get lunch daily but didn't like it and preferred the food her kid had. I don't know how many days I sent a lunch and my kids brought every single piece of it back home... But after a year the family definitely didn't keep sending unused lunches. A 1 week warning you are stopping the double lunch is both easy and not that expensive.
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WOW I can't believe how harsh people are with this lady. In a nutshell, she saw a hungry kid and fed him until she couldn't and now she's being judged and condemned for not following the Good Samaritan Manual? Seriously in what world do we live in, when someone who's just trying to be a good person to others on top of providing to her family is being lashed online for not doing it well enough?? Lady if you read me, don't take these attacks personally. You're a kind person and people who don't see that are just idiots.
Nobody is condemning her for feeding the child. People are mad she cut off the lunches with no warning to him and his parents. She also never contacted the school to see if he was being fed or in a dangerous situation at home. Every day we read news articles of children of all ages being neglected, starved, beaten and even killed by parents and step parents. Google the Turpin children. Some were adults and suffered permanent mental and physical damage from severe neglect.
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I have four much older brothers. Both my parents worked full-time, my dad also had a part-time job. By high school, I was already traumatized by life. I usually didn't get any breakfast, unless by some miracle, I had the kitchen to myself. I wouldn't say we were poor, but I was the smallest animal in the barnyard and getting anything was a struggle. They'd eat all the food, even taking mine. My best friend's father noticed that she was sharing her lunches with me, so he started packing two lunches. I'll never forget that. Her dad also would stuff me to bursting if I had dinner at their house. He was a fireman.
Did you ever bring this up with your brothers? I feel like they owe you an apology for how they treated you when you were growing up.
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No, she's being judged for not bringing anyone in to actually help the kid.
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I think the mom could have went about it in a better way. Yes, she should have informed someone about a kid going hungry. Yes, she should have let Pete know that they weren't able to feed him any longer, preferably with a grace period. But wow, the comments saying the mom is an AH for not sending food...the mom saw a hungry kid and fed him, and continued to for a year, out of kindness.But somewhere along the line, at least in the mind of Petes mom, it became an obligation. That's what grinds my gears. When you do something to help someone out kindness, and the helpee begins to see it as something the helper HAS to do instead of WANT to do. The helpee isn't entitled to the help. Instead of being thankful for the help they have already received, they get upset because now they have to take responsibility for what the helper was doing out of kindness and not obligation. And since she called to complain,Pete's mom knew that Greg's mom fed him.Thats why Pete's mom is the real AH here.
She's an AH for cutting off Peter without a word to him that she could no longer afford it.
Load More Replies... Locking themselves in the garage means drugs. Simply packing lunches for him was not enough in the first place.
That's the first thing I thought of, meth. But yeah, consuming not cooking, unless the meth business isn't as profitable as people think.
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NTA in my opinion, and kind for providing for her son's friend. Peter's mum is definitely neglectful, and so I think OP is only TA by not reporting Peter's parents to either the school or other services.
I went hungry at school lunch so many times because we were THAT strapped for cash. I didn't want to ask for lunch money and I didn't want to "waste" the food we had at home. And I never said anything to anyone because I didn't want to get my parents in trouble and I didn't want to burden anyone with my "petty" problems. I feel so bad for Peter. I agree that CPS probably should have gotten involved, but Peter's life would have turned completely upside down as a result. He may have ended up being worse off with no stability in his life whatsoever. Chances are he would have ended up in foster care and who actually wants that? I also feel bad for OP for being put in this situation in the first place. I know what it's like to have to savor every penny and be as thrifty as possible. To some "it's only a few more dollars", but to OP , it was either put gas in the car, or feed their family, or feed this other kid," no way are all of the above possible. This really is a tough situation.
You're right about foster care. Too often, the abuse and neglect is far worse than what the child endured with their parents (nine-year survivor here). Calling CPS would have been the best thing for OP to do. However, never having dealt with a situation like this, it's easy to be caught off-guard. OP is definitely not an AH. Besides, would any of YOU look any better in the same situation, having done the same thing?
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When my son was in HS, he was observed giving his lunch money to a young lady. One of his teachers was a lunch monitor and reported it to a guidance counselor, who happened to be his great-aunt. (which she made sure everyone knew 🙂) She called me and told me what was reported to her. When I got home from work, I asked him about it. At first, he was closed mouth about it; then he told me that she didn't have any money to buy lunch, so he gave her his money. All I said was- oh, okay. I was not going to discourage that and I informed my aunt that it was alright for him to do it. My son was a walker; he was always the first one home, and he knew he could fix anything he wanted to eat when he got there. He saw someone in need and took steps to do what was in his power, something about it.🤔
Your son has a kind, beautiful heart. No doubt because he was raised by kind, compassionate parents. The world needs more of this.
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How is this person the a*****e? Let me give somebody free food for an entire year and then stop cause you can't afford it? F**k you. You people remind me of the woman that posted a video,, bitching about how the chicken from the homeless shelter was dry.
You clearly lack reading comprehension skills. People are saying she is the AH because she never bothered to contact school administration or social services about a boy who was clearly being neglected or abused, then suddenly cutting off the free lunches to a boy who was in dire need of them without warning. Perhaps you would benefit from going back to school to learn how to read better?
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If this is in the US, the young man can get free lunches and possibly free breakfast, but his parents have to fill out the paperwork. Maybe offer that information to the parents and offer to help complete the papers. They may be illiterate and embarrassed, so it's a delicate situation. Illiteracy in this country is way higher than it should be.
Many parents won't fill out the paperwork because "they aren't poor" or don't need handouts. Schools need some latitude with programs, but I'm sure there's been abuse.
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Its interesting how many people quickly jump to "reporting to child services" because a child didnt have lunch money. First, most places such as child services are not a wholseome network of good folks.
Youre right, CPS isn't exactly the greatest entity to get involved. So many kids have been "lost in the system" and the places where kids are placed can be worse than where they are currently at. That, along with overworked, underpaid and overwhelmed social workers that can be emotionally wiped out and so numb that giving a crud is difficult at best...so yeah, not always a good thing. But ,serious questiom,what else is there to do? Who else is there to call on in a situation where contacting the parents of the neglected kid will be met with indifference at best, and I don't want to think about the worst. Maybe extend family of the kid, if you can find them and they aren't as bad. Who else is there to help?
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I feel divided. it could have been handled better but I also find it interesting, based on the little info we have is the hungry boys parents didn’t call ever until the lunch was cut off. Now, I think mom feeding the kids was expecting some thanks and that’s somewhat natural but she wasn’t getting it and obviously the hungry kids parents were fine with the non-arranged arrangement. I think they both have some assumptions about the other and their own responsibilities. cutting a hungry kid off of his lunch w/o warning is definitely wrong! Her kid probably felt awkward and confused as to why and imagine how he had to deal with his best friend expecting a full lunch and now he can’t have any lunch. Peter, probably wondered all day what he did wrong. The authorities definitely needed to be involved and if mom wanted thanks, she should have had a mature discussion with Peters mom. She is ATA for hurting her own and his BFF KIDS for her decisions. She made the kids the pawns!
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion but I don't know what to do some people's opinions are just wrong
Load More Replies... This whole situation needs reported to CPS....like a year ago. I understand wanting to feed a hungry child, because no child should ever go hungry, but for the other mom to call the kind mom and act like it was her *job* to feed a kid other than her own is outrageous. No good deed goes unpunished, I guess.
OP said themselves "It looks to me like a typical case of neglectful and unfit parents". So whilst NTA for cutting the child off (if you can't afford it any more you can't afford it), YTA for not reporting your concerns to the school/child services and not providing advance warning to Peter or his parents that Peter wasn't going to be getting lunch from you in future. Also, it seems OP is blaming Peter's parents but hasn't considered Peter's parents could themselves have been struggling due to financial difficulties (in which case, the school and/or a food bank might have helped them a year ago).
Given the way this ended, it kind of feels like her biggest priority in doing this was to feel good about herself as an altruistic angel, and as the child's sole savior. Otherwise, she would have looked into community resources - into helping find the child a safety net so he wouldn't have to rely only on her for being fed - into making sure he had a good transition to a different arrangement. But when all one wants is to pay themselves on the back and take all the credit, no way they're going to share the load. And the moment it no longer serves them, they'll coldly cut the person off that is no longer doing them any good. The most telling thing here is, her worry isn't whether that kid is going to be okay going forward. Her worry is how SHE'S going to be seen. 😕 Maybe she should take a few minutes out of her time using the internet for her own validation, and use them to contact some organizations that can be a safety net for that kid.
How she wants to be seen? It was a silent gesture. She packed lunch for his friend for a whole year without a peep or gossip to anybody else. At what point does it become an obligation to feed someone else's child and then became lynched by an angry mob when you simply "can't" anymore due to finances? I bet if you had to worry about affording your next meal, or car payments, or mortgages, you certainly wouldn't be sparing a year's worth of food for others. This is the real world we live in. Poverty in other places doesn't go away just because you aren't currently casting your gaze there. I'll be honest and say I don't donate to feed hungry kids in Sri Lanka or Chile, but then again neither of all of you are either. Entitled humans living in first world countries who think they know better. We all live the same. We all bleed the same. We all die the same. Get over yourself. The comment section is the real AH here.
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Chances are your son will continue to share whatever he has,( haven’t you ever had a best friend).. so you probably now have 2 half hungry kids!
My son always gave his drink away, because a boy would whine every day that he wanted his, cause it was better. So annoying. Son couldnt say no. He got cheaper stuff from his parents, because they spent money on themselves. They weren't even poor. I started to give 2 packages. Else my son got nothing. It was only one year luckily.
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Okay, you had me in a fantastic mood about this, right up until you pulled the rug out from under the kid, put your son in an awkward position with his friend, essentially throwing him under the bus. No, it's not your responsibility to feed the child but the fact is, based on your account, the child is hungry. You could have, at the very least, spoke with the child and explain that you're unable to keep it up. You should then speak with the mother about it and subsequently to some authority at school. When my children were in elementary school, I gave them extra lunch money, or, when I packed lunch for them I gave them extra or additional money for any of their friends who didn't have lunch. I found out later that it helped a child immensely. It wasn't neglect but his mom was a single parent like me but didn't have enough all the time. God is good. I was blessed and had no issues sharing it. A child is hungry that is the overwhelming factor here. His mother...rude and disrespectful.
What people aren't considering is why the SCHOOL never noticed the kid was going hungry? This had been going on before OP started making his lunch. Schools are mandated reporters~~by law, they MUST report all suspicions of neglect or abuse. Why is no one harping about the SCHOOL?
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YTA, I couldn't let a child go hungry. Even if you just pack him some fruit and milk and a couple of cookies or something, you should make sure he eats something! And telling your son that his lunch is only for him, puts him in a bad light as he probably wants to help his friend!
I agree with Reddit on this one. Absolutely the friend's mom should have been feeding her kid- or at least find some assistance- but OP should have given some warning. Maybe even offer to help find the free-lunch forms. I'm sad that there's such a lack of good people these days.
How does one go from caring mother to financial hard-azz so quickly? Details are being left out, or her fam has been hit by a big crisis. Also, I love those commenters who just can't seem to understand that some parents are complety effed up, + yes, to be a good human you do need to care if a child is starving, even if they're not your own.
Dollar tree loaf of bread 1.25. peanut butter. 1.25. Good Lord. Has a cell phone and internet but can't afford 2.50 a week to feed a child? Wanting attention by posting on internet but can't use Internet to find resources for a child she thinks is being neglected. What the world has become. And sorry but I would never put my child in a place where he was told not to share his food with a hungry child. We might not have had much but we had morals and compassion. Ugh. Shame on anyone who thinks it is ok to raise the next generation to not care about their fellow human beings. I myself would go without to feed a child. And yes some kids have parents that just suck that won't fill out a simple form. So maybe we as a society should make all schools give free lunches without paperwork just based on need. Hello, we feed prisoners three meals. Get off the internet pick up the phone and fix the problem your an adult. Ugh.
All I can say about this is it's very ungodly to not share especially with a child. I myself would go without to make this child a lunch with my child. All parents aren't the same. Just the thought of what if it was your child going through the back of your head you would want someone to do the same for your child. Be good to the innocent people regardless of the situation.
The only person being hurt here is Peter. No it's not OPs responsibility to feed Peter however they did take that responsibility on. To suddenly stop ( although I understand the reason) will hurt Peter not only physically but emotionally too (feeling let down). I've been in a similar situation to OP and didn't even consider stopping the extra food. Personally I couldn't let a child go hungry ( I've been the hungry child too and it sucks big time)
I didn't want you to be the AH, but YTA for a few reasons. Sorry. You had Gregory do your dirty work. YOU should have been telling Peter, "No more free lunches!" That wasn't Gregorgy's OR Peter's problem-that was YOUR PROBLEM. You needed to handle that one and you owe BOTH OF THEM A GENUINE APOLOGY for involving them like that! YOU should have made a call to Peter's mother stating you were unable to maintain two lunches instead of instructing Gregory on what to say to Peter. How many DAYS passed that you were complicit with Peter's mother that you had opportunity to report this ongoing neglect to either their school or CPS? YTA.
I get she was being taken advantage of by the lazy and uncaring parents but she could have handled it better for the child’s sake. Unless she apologizes to the boy, he will remember all his life how she cut him off, instead of remembering her kindness. She should have gone to the parents and had a talk with them before cutting him off, so to speak. And an extra sandwich isn’t going to break her bank in my mind - she was just feeling annoyed at not being appreciated and I get that, but she’s an adult. He’s a neglected boy. I still remember how my best friend’s parents got us separated into different home rooms when we went to high school and I found out that the reason was they thought we spent too much time together as kids (since grade 1). I was a lonely and neglected child after my mother committed suicide when I was 11, so having a close confidant helped me during that difficult time.
She has no reason to apologize to that child as she didn't do anything wrong. She is owed an apology from his parents for feeding their child for a year. His parents didn't step up because they were more than willing to let someone else take care of their child's needs. When you're living on a strict budget one extra sandwich each day for a year can break the bank. I was a single mother and there wouldn't have been any way I could feed an extra mouth for a year.
Load More Replies... I think it was very kind of her for feeding him but she should have let the school know that Peter wasn’t being fed properly. It sounds like his family isn’t very good people. Rather than thanking her for feeding their son, they get angry when she stops. That’s poor judgment and a bad attitude. Child services isn’t a good option. They can’t do much.
What about the possibility that the school knew but just didn't care? My last 3 years of high school, in a different district and state, they never gave a sh*t about the teachers and students. Unless those students were the football players 🙄.
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I can’t believe she didn’t notify the school! That’s step 1. Then you can feed the kid if you wish but most schools have programs in place for kids to have a lunch. Parents don’t always fill out the free and reduced lunch forms so there are safety nets but they have to be notified.
So, when my pa, my mom's dad, was a child, his parents had to turn him over to a group home/school because they couldn't afford to take care of him. Subsequently, when he discovered my mom was helping another little girl eat, during lunch at school, he just gave her more money. Fast forward to my childhood, when all my friends are on the assisted school lunch program, but my mom is packing me a full lunch, and giving me money "just in case I decide I'd rather have what their serving, and dessert, of course." I didn't know about my pa, or any of that back then, but I do now, and it gives me warm fuzzies.
Yeah OP handled it wrong. Obviously communication with the other mother would have been a better way to go, but I'm not sure I would have handled it better. That's an incredibly hard phone call to make. Telling a mother she isn't doing right by her son or calling the school on her. Obviously your job is to make you have enough for your own family and if feeding an extra child is putting a strain on you then you have to stop. In a perfect world you should have called the mother, let her know her son isn't getting enough, that you can no longer do it and recommend a food bank or a lunch program. Whether or not you heard the words the kid appreciated it!
Sorry, but I would have gave that other deadbeat mother an earfull and let her know that the school is aware and will be watching her. So quit being neglectful and a deadbeat to your son and stepup and start acting like a real mother. There are programs that, that worthless mother can sign up for. Can't stand parents like that!! Unacceptable!!
I believe the parent handled this very poorly from beginning to end. You feed the child yes, but you reach out to get the child services, that's where the mistake happened. And you adult and dont throw a tantrum cutting off the kids food because youre suddenly struggling yourself, I mean really, you're an adult, he's a kid. Now he's got more adults abusing him. I have fed hungry kids, my sister in laws kids. She had 5 and was too busy partying and getting her hair done to buy her kids any steady meals. They were family and I knew they were safe but Id often take them out for pizza or pick them up food to make sure they had. Their fridge was always empty despite food stamps. I think she sold them to get her hair done. She was heavy set too so clearly she ate a lot herself. The family as a whole made sure her kids ate. And we babysat when she went out partying. She wasnt a very good mom in my opinion but her kids love her even now. Im divorced. So glad not to be around them anymore.
She certainly needed to report those parents for the blatant neglect of their son. The fact that Peter's mother called OP to COMPLAIN about this tells how entitled and disgusting Peter's parents are. Cutting the kid off from the one guaranteed meal a day is an AH move~~did she think that after a year that household would pick up the slack w/o making the kid suffer? She *should* have called the school, DCS, and the Cops to check out the home~~a wellness check on Peter and family. Instead she put *her* kid in the bad situation of telling his friend he was SOL.
OMG...I WILL cut myself short of meals to feed a child and have done so.A packed lunch is not expensive. My son's would have continued splitting their food despite having been told not to do so. NOT that I ever would have done so. I purchase food for local homeless... cutting out food for home in order to do it. Kids come first, all kids. Contacting the school would be a easy choice for both boys.
Once again, I'm torn. Helping Peter out was the right thing to do, for a while. Once it got to be a habit, OP should have notified the school. Where did Peters mother think he was getting the food? She knew she wasn't making him a lunch herself. Every school system has a free lunch program for kids whose parents might not be able to pack a nutritious lunch. Most even have free breakfast programs too. All a parent needs to do is sign up. What's so difficult about that? Why wasn't Peter getting a free lunch? Frankly, I don't know how Peter's mom could live with herself, knowing somebody else was feeding her kid. OP is a great person for having sympathy for Peter's situation, but an AH for knowing something may be wrong with his home life. She chose silence until she didn't feel like giving him lunch any more. And Peter's mom? The biggest AH.
I would have never just ceased sending Peter’s lunch with my child. If I truly couldn’t afford it anymore I would have been seeking help for this young boy. He probably wonders what did he do wrong for you to just cut him off like that. I have 3 children and at times my daughter shared her lunch with a friend that might have forgotten their lunch or they are to embarrassed to ask for food. Or they don’t want to speak up and tell a adult “I have no lunch to eat!” I’ve always sent extra food in my kids lunches for them to share with their friends.
Not only was she the ahole for suddenly stopping the lunch and notifying anyone but the position she put her poor son in.For him to know his friend was hungry , had him a lunch everyday and then sit down to lunch and say I can not give you anything , would be totally heartbreaking.
Mom, did nothing wrong, I was in this situation, the kids (13yr) mom was jerk so talking to her would have been pointless, the kid did get free lunches, and ate it when something decent was served, I would always throw extra drinks or two salads or sandwiches, one day I just didn't anymore, the comments on her sad, like should of called the school or CPS, that one's gotta be a joke, unless the kid had her skeleton showing through, they aren't worried if a kid is eating a lunch. Mom is not this kids mother, she under no obligation to explain anything to this kid, I'm sure her son is perfectly capable of saying sorry to his friend my family can't anymore, and kids being kids (well my kids), would share thier lunch regardless of what I instructed them to do, some days they wouldn't even eat, and say they gave their lunch away lunch away, I wouldn't be over thinking if I was AH or not, it is what it is. Your dealing with 13yr not a small child
Still a child at 13... So you're telling me.. You did the same and don't care to talk with the school about it? What?
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I help now and again with some of my neighbours to a new family that has just moved in, but one day one boy who we thought was a good lad beat him up because he asked for a sweet. One sweet which he had a bag full of, so unkind for the lad to do this he didn't know what he done wrong and was asking why. Not anyone said anything to him so we did, we told him that he didn't do anything wrong all he done was ask for something. His parents were livid and called the police on the boy but all the police done was tell them, there was no need to hit him all he had to do was say no or yes. He is now very shy and knocks around with the boys at the back of our house, they have a trampoline and other things there with swings, a round a bout, slides for the small and the big kids even a bouncy castle. He doesn't speak to the boy now who beat him up and not once has he said sorry to him, everyone was saying across the road that they heard him yelling at his mum because his dinner was cold.
Call CPS immediately. For all the ppl who say the C**p mom will figure it out, so what? Good mom can always say everyone at school including teachers witnessed Peter's hunger. Bet c**p mom is eating just fine in the "garage" lol. Report her now! Bet my soul there is something worse coming down the pike for this kid if somebody doesn't.
It really isn't alot to make a kid's lunch. An extra pb and j on white bread ( not the best but not the worst) and an apple ( which in my neck of the woods are pretty inexpensive) or a banana. I know juice boxes can get pricey but look for sales. I would definitely recommend reaching out to school social worker AND continue to feed this kid. Store brand cookies can be an extra treat for not alot of money too. A hungry kid breaks my heart
Not sure she would have been able to come out of this without someone judging her. If she sent word through the child, he might have been embarrassed and not spoken to his parents or if he did they could have gotten their panties in a bunch saying it's not her business or as she did why cut him off. If she had called the parents same and possibly ruined the friendship. If she told the school or CPS then who knows how bad the kid's life would be. Maybe pbj and carrots and a note to parents.
This woman is NTA and its rude to think otherwise. If she was the a-hole, she never would've helped the BFF in the first place. She's already explained her financial situation, and while I feel for the BFF, her primary responsibility is too care for the child/children who live with her. She did something exceptional for the BFF and it appears more to me that BFF's family was taking advantage of the situation judging by the way they responded. They never even thanked her, they just expected her to keep doing their duty for them. I agree that they should be reported, but given the OP's financial situation, I can't blame her for the difficult decision. And before you jump down my throat on this, know that I have been in the BFF's position myself and would never blame someone with money issues for not feeding anyone else's kids.
It's like people who casually feed the neighborhood stray cats or dogs, thinking it's fun and cute, but then suddenly moving away with no plans for anyone else to be feeding them and the animals don't know how to get food for themselves
The OP is TAH for how she handled just cutting of the lunches. She took it apon herself to start extra lunches. As an adult it should been her responsibility to sit Peter down and tell him that she was going to stop the extra lunches. She should have sat Peter down and expaind things have changed, that it's not his fault and not make her son be an AH to his BFF!
Friends parents probably do drugs,locking themselves in garage for hours,not getting child fed,stinky house,self centered.greg mom had good intention,could not relate to bad parents.when u r afraid for another's kid is when 2 report.this is why drugs should not b legalized.this situation could b in every neighborhood.
No, that was only during the pandemic (in 2022-2023) it ended for all students to have free lunch regardless of income. In order to get "free lunch" the parents must file paperwork via government asking for aide, giving their personal info and such for it. Most people are prideful, resulting in the loss for the kids involved- much like Peter.
Load More Replies... I feel like this situation could’ve been handled a lot differently!! this woman knew that her son’s best friend was going hungry and then she told her son don’t share food with him anymore; what about food he didn’t eat? He couldn’t share leftovers with him? but Most importantly she should’ve spoke to the kid before cutting him off so he knew not to except a shared lunch anymore; I understand it’s not her responsibility to feed another child but at least make sure that child is getting fed somehow! Turning a blind eye to the situation is the worst thing that someone can do !! She could’ve talked to the school explaining how she’s been making 2 lunches to feed her son and his best friend but she can no longer afford to do so and the kid still needs to eat; many schools have programs to help children so they don’t go hungry or various youth organizations they have scholarships for needy families so they have somewhere safe to be at and receive whatever help they need.
How does she not think that was an a****** thing to do to a kid. I can understand not wanting to support another child when times are tight, but to just unilaterally decide to stop without the human decency of warning the boy he would have to make other arrangements, is mind boggling. This woman would most likely be livid if someone treated her son that way. This is another human being, not some stray animal you just decided to stop feeding on your porch. Hell most people wouldn't even do that to stray animals. So sad and heartbreaking. Something Needed to be said to Someone before just stopping. Also took setting a good example for her son and turned it into a crappy example of how to treat/help others in need. Handled so poorly and sadly.
I understand why you can't feed him and it does take a lot of money to feed another kid lunch and I understand how other people might think that maybe going to the school might be the best option but it's really not because that's probably just going to cause him to get taken away and that's not good for anyone he'll just be another kid in the foster care system. I think you handled it the best you could and you did a lot better than a lot of people would
YTA Peter did nothing wrong except trust you to make sure he at least had one meal a day and you simply just stopped. I have been hungry and there was a time when the free school lunch was my only meal. And we woukd not have had that if someone hadn't known we were hungry and stepped in and made sure we were approved for it. Your finances may be tight but it seems Peter's may be nonexistent. I can only hope you are never hungry
Hungry, dressed in whatever, all day long, nobody cared about us as kids, ever. We all have health problems as a result. Bravo that you fed him! Your critics, bless their ignorant about how things really work hearts. Yes the school should know and let them handle it from there. They're pretty good at keeping the reporting anonymous . His home life sounds very sketchy at best. In a perfect world it wouldn't happen.... but really?
She couldn't call you and say Thank you for feeding Peter but called to fuss at you because you stopped feeding Peter it seems something is taking their money and they are enjoying it in the garage.What makes her think you are rich and can afford a extra mouth to feed it's her child not your's to feed.But I am sure Peter enjoyed the brown bag lunch check with the school and see if your son and Peter can get free lunch vouchers.
NTA. If Peter's house 'smelled really bad' and the parents were 'locking themselves in the garage for hours', I would bet they are drug addicts. You did what you thought was right until it affected your families finances, then quit. Peter's mother acted exactly like a drug addict would, blame the wrong parent. If they weren't so drug addicted, they would have packed their son a lunch from the jump.
Yes my dear, unfortunately YATA. Turn it around and think how you'd feel if it was your child going hungry. I taught in the projects for 23 years and some people have NO CONCEPT of how a hungry tummy affects every aspect of a child's life. I've helped lots of kids over the years, and I'd always try to find out the situation if possible. Whatever the reason, it's definitely not the child's fault. Did you think of discussing it with the child? Having your child talk to his friend? They seem to have been friends a long time, could you not visit with the parent? Not from a condeming place, but from one of caring to see if you could help the situation. One of my parents couldn't read, and was too ashamed to ask for help, so they were unable to fill out the paperwork for foodstamps. I took her and we got it all filled out and she was definitely deserving. It made all the difference to her and her children. We were also able to sign her up for additional services too. Feed the child...
I have had some professional experience w/ CPS. They can overreact—but not always. Peter may be being neglected/abused in other ways; sexually/physically(?). Are there local or non-local saner relatives who might take him in? CPS will investigate. Despite your finances, have you considered taking him in as a foster child? He sounds like a nice kid. Do it through the system, though, b/c otherwise you could be liable for many things. You could be saving his emotional/physical life. They will pay you to cover his expenses. If you can, the angels will love you. that mother knew that BFF’s mother not only knew that her child was fed lunch but that she had come to expect it which is a sign of entitlements that bodes that Peter is being neglected in other ways. He might be physically and/or sexually abused by one or both parents. What are they doing in the garage all day? Doing drugs, I would imagine. Have you and your husband discussed the possibil
Stop reading after “the angels will love you.” The rest is deleted material. I’m not sure how it ended up there. NTA, but uninformed.
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Part of the original story appears to be missing. You are getting sloppy, BP.
Some schools in the UK use a type of 'credit card' that the kids top up monthly or weekly. They use these to 'pay' for their School Dinners daily as it saves time for the Dinner Ladies working with cash. It wasn't until the end of term a few years back that my son came home with a letter informing me that I owed the School £35.00 for school dinners and could I pay it back before the end of term. Confused I phoned the school in case my son had been given the letter in error and was told that he did owe it, despite my giving him his dinner money in advance. I finally got out of my son that he had been using his 'card' to pay for one of his friends' School Dinners as he never had any money nor brought a packed lunch to school and he didn't want him to go hungry . I paid the money to the School and my son took a packed lunch instead the next term. I did put extra in though for his friend just in case, it turned out that he had always had a packed lunch of his own but preferred School Meals
You didn’t really want to deal with the situation so you found the easiest way possible (at the time) to deal with it, you threw money at it. Until that way wasn’t easy anymore. You clearly felt resentful for even doing that because you say you weren’t thanked. Fair enough, we all have issues in our own lives without taking on outside issues. But you admit knowing it was a case of neglect (did you think they were locked in the garage making pottery for hours on end) and didn’t report it or at least tell the school that you had been making lunches, giving them a chance to help. Then without notice you cold turkey cut off a food source for a child that had come to depend on it, causing more psychological harm (to your child as well btw for making him enforce your new rule) and no doubt damaging the boys’ relationship. You’re not an a*****e, an a*****e would have let the boy go hungry, but this situation was unfortunately handled wrong.
Wow. I'm absolutely blown away by the sense of entitlement that mother has blaming YOU for HER child not being fed!!????? And the a******s commenting she's an a h bcz she cut off food???? YUP REALLY SAD FOR PETER, BUT THATS HIS PARENTS PROBLEM. Lady did her best but it's not up to her to follow up, ffs, Peter's mum can call and blow her up for nt feeding her kid, PUT THE SAME EFFORT INTO HELPING UR DAMN KID THN. OMFG.
everyone is missing the point this is not her kid and was doing something out of the kindness of her heart but like it always goes people forget this was a good deed no an obligation NTA
Deeeefinitely NTA, but handled rather indelicately with regards to the abused child. What an amazing woman for taking on the responsibilities of other parents without request, credit, or thanks. As for the abusive parents, they need to be sterilised and their child remanded to the state.
NTA, it's not your child and everyone seems to think that because they have kids they can't afford that it automatically becomes other people's responsibility. Heck, one person said "Children going hungry is everyones business." No its not, its social services business. Your responsibility is to your child that you birthed and only that child, everyone needs to stop trying to force their kids down other people's throats. Also, it's not OP's responsibility to make sure the kid's fed, if they need help with lunches then the mom of Peter can reach out to the school and other places and ask for help, idk why everyone is making it OPs problem and responsibility to tell someone when it's Peter's mom who should take all responsibility. OP was nice enough to feed him for a little while and yall 💩 on her, this is why no one's nice to others anymore, cause it's never enough.🙄
I don’t understand why everyone is coming for this woman who was doing something for somebody else’s child without even a dang thank you!! Peter is 13 and doesn’t know who to acknowledge that someone is taking care of him better than his own parents but as soon as it stops he can go tell his mom that someone else’s mom isn’t feeding him??? Make it make sense!! This lady did NOTHING wrong. She went above and beyond for this child for NOTHING in return. Everyone saying it’s her responsibility is WRONG! Her responsibilities are to HER household first. She said she couldn’t do it bc of financial responsibilities. Why would she make her family suffer for someone else’s child. Call CPS. That’s not her child or responsibility and she’s a God send for even doing what she did. Most of these people criticizing her wouldn’t even do the same thing she did so shut up!! A whole year of feeding someone else’s child for free and y’all have the audacity to say it’s her responsibility? Nope
Wow everyone saying she you in the wrong but I disagree because you did a lot a year is a lot of money for a kid not yours. It's your choice to call CPS because sometimes jump to quick to call them or make up lies or just parent different. Yes they have free lunch and he probably been getting it since he started school. The school should have new what was going on. The boy could have also had a lunch he didn't like and his best friend mom packed better food or snacks kids like more. Stop being mean to this lady she can't afford it anymore. The boy is old enough to tell his mom or teacher that he is hungry.
Did people miss the part where she sat her son down and explained why she was stopping? Obviously he would have passed that info on to his friend. The only thing I think she did wrong was not reporting this to the school and/or cps who could have made sure he had a lunch everyday and looked into his situation at home. Im at a loss for words when it comes to the kids mother calling and acting outraged that she wasn't feeding her child daily when its her responsibility to feed her child. She clearly has no shame over the fact she isn't being a parent in the most basic and important ways. The word entitlement gets used to much these days but this is an example of next level entitlement.
No your not in the wrong,peters mother rings you when you stopped providing his lunch she didn't ring to say thankyou or anything ungrateful,just keep sending your son with his own lunch if peters mother has a problem may its her that needs to ask for help ,I don't agree with most of these comments it's not your problem you tried to help and peters mother just took advantage if your kindness and was rude she hung up what a cheek to ring you in the first place.im on your side .
NTA. You are not, a food bank, a charity, a soup kitchen. You feed this kid when it’s his Parents responsibility to do so, they’re smoking up a Dooby in their garage instead of feeding their kids. Call CPS. Peter is being neglected. You cannot afford to keep feeding this kid & you don’t owe Anyone an explanation. Send the parents a Bill for all the food you provided. $10 a week for 40 weeks.
YTA for how you handled it. Peter is not responsible for feeding himself- he is a CHILD. You needed to pay a visit in person to his parents and let them know you can't afford to support their son any longer, and if they don't start feeding their own child, you will turn them in to Child Protective Services. Take it to the parents, not the kid. The next stop is reporting them to the school. Perhaps Peter can be included in a subsidized lunch program through the school.
Please. Im Gen X. I grew up poor, in the country. And my Mom disappeared when I was 5. I didn't get Breakfast or lunch, and it wasn't other kids responsibility to feed me. Guess what. Me, and 2 other kids had a secret garden at school, and... we ate all the time. In fact, when our garden got discovered after 2 years, we were given permission to expand it, were given help to build a greenhouse and got science credit for it too. The school called my Dad, to tell him about our garden, thinking it was something to be proud of. Too bad my Dad beat me unconscious for "embarrassing the family". Gotta love Boomer logic.
I'm so sorry for what you went through. You did not deserve any of it. I sure hope you have a good life now. That wasn't Boomer logic though. Your dad is an abusive a-hole.
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YTA for not sitting the hungry kid down and talking to him! Your son gave a clue as to what's going on at his friend's house (bad smells, parents locking themselves in the garage); a brief conversation with the boy would've filled in the blanks somewhat. You also could've contacted the school regarding the boy's situation, as well as CPS to check on the boy's home life. This is a case of neglect, especially if there's a possibility of drug use involved.
Anytime you start feeding anyone, yes animals included, you become responsible.
What a great way to discourage anyone from helping anyone, ever. If you help, you're obligated for life? Hard no.
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This lady did nothing wrong. Shame on those of you blaming her in all this.
Guess what, no one is under any obligation to feed someone else's kid, and no one is obligated to explain to that kid or his parents why they're no longer going to help. You all are crazy. Do you explain to the homeless guy why you're not going to give him spare change today? If you don't explain it to him, are you a bad person? B******t.
Ahe is not right..she is a half mother...its not your fault or responsibility...dont feel bad.. your family comes first...
My policy is to always feed the hungry kid. I don’t care why they are hungry, I feed the hungry kid. Two pieces of bread with turkey or a yogurt and a banana won’t put you into financial crisis. Report to CPS if you think there is a neglectful situation, but feed the hungry kid in the meantime.
Yes! When I was in middle school (late 80s-early 90s), I had a group of friends. There were 5 of us, and two of the kids barely brought any food for lunchtime - sometimes just a baggie of chips or a juice box. The 5 of us always “pooled” our lunches and made sure everyone got equal amounts of food from the pool. We did this instinctively. Kids have to be taught to be a-holes.
Load More Replies... I don't understand why this mom didn't at the very least get the school involved and make sure he was getting a free lunch. What did she think this child did on days her son was out sick? Also a lot of schools provide a breakfast before school. And like some people have mentioned it seems pretty obvious the kid is being neglected and the patents need investigated. He needs serious help, not just a meal.
Because his parents have to fill out the paper work for free lunch. It’s a federal program that requires paperwork. Try turning someone into DCFS. They figure it out usually. That parent comes after you with a vengeance.
Load More Replies... Years ago, I was in Peter's situation. A friend would occasionally buy an extra sandwich, but then say he wasn't that hungry, and offer it to me. He was close enough to guess something was wrong at my house because I never had anyone over, but didn't know exactly what was going on. I had previously been in a church-run "children's home" that was worse than going hungry living with my mentally ill single parent. If someone had called CPS, I'd have worried about being sent back to institutional care and may have run away to live on the street. Situations can be complicated and reporting to CPS etc. can have unintended consequences (though I hope things are better now than when I was younger).
That was much the same as my thoughts with all the people jumping straight to cps. If you see injuries ya, but if you have vague suspicions based on the reports of a 12-13 year old, you should at least be investing a little first. Like maybe try being a human and connecting with your child's "best friends" parents. For all she knows the kid did get lunch daily but didn't like it and preferred the food her kid had. I don't know how many days I sent a lunch and my kids brought every single piece of it back home... But after a year the family definitely didn't keep sending unused lunches. A 1 week warning you are stopping the double lunch is both easy and not that expensive.
Load More Replies... WOW I can't believe how harsh people are with this lady. In a nutshell, she saw a hungry kid and fed him until she couldn't and now she's being judged and condemned for not following the Good Samaritan Manual? Seriously in what world do we live in, when someone who's just trying to be a good person to others on top of providing to her family is being lashed online for not doing it well enough?? Lady if you read me, don't take these attacks personally. You're a kind person and people who don't see that are just idiots.
Nobody is condemning her for feeding the child. People are mad she cut off the lunches with no warning to him and his parents. She also never contacted the school to see if he was being fed or in a dangerous situation at home. Every day we read news articles of children of all ages being neglected, starved, beaten and even killed by parents and step parents. Google the Turpin children. Some were adults and suffered permanent mental and physical damage from severe neglect.
Load More Replies... I have four much older brothers. Both my parents worked full-time, my dad also had a part-time job. By high school, I was already traumatized by life. I usually didn't get any breakfast, unless by some miracle, I had the kitchen to myself. I wouldn't say we were poor, but I was the smallest animal in the barnyard and getting anything was a struggle. They'd eat all the food, even taking mine. My best friend's father noticed that she was sharing her lunches with me, so he started packing two lunches. I'll never forget that. Her dad also would stuff me to bursting if I had dinner at their house. He was a fireman.
Did you ever bring this up with your brothers? I feel like they owe you an apology for how they treated you when you were growing up.
Load More Replies... No, she's being judged for not bringing anyone in to actually help the kid.
Load More Replies... I think the mom could have went about it in a better way. Yes, she should have informed someone about a kid going hungry. Yes, she should have let Pete know that they weren't able to feed him any longer, preferably with a grace period. But wow, the comments saying the mom is an AH for not sending food...the mom saw a hungry kid and fed him, and continued to for a year, out of kindness.But somewhere along the line, at least in the mind of Petes mom, it became an obligation. That's what grinds my gears. When you do something to help someone out kindness, and the helpee begins to see it as something the helper HAS to do instead of WANT to do. The helpee isn't entitled to the help. Instead of being thankful for the help they have already received, they get upset because now they have to take responsibility for what the helper was doing out of kindness and not obligation. And since she called to complain,Pete's mom knew that Greg's mom fed him.Thats why Pete's mom is the real AH here.
She's an AH for cutting off Peter without a word to him that she could no longer afford it.
Load More Replies... Locking themselves in the garage means drugs. Simply packing lunches for him was not enough in the first place.
That's the first thing I thought of, meth. But yeah, consuming not cooking, unless the meth business isn't as profitable as people think.
Load More Replies... NTA in my opinion, and kind for providing for her son's friend. Peter's mum is definitely neglectful, and so I think OP is only TA by not reporting Peter's parents to either the school or other services.
I went hungry at school lunch so many times because we were THAT strapped for cash. I didn't want to ask for lunch money and I didn't want to "waste" the food we had at home. And I never said anything to anyone because I didn't want to get my parents in trouble and I didn't want to burden anyone with my "petty" problems. I feel so bad for Peter. I agree that CPS probably should have gotten involved, but Peter's life would have turned completely upside down as a result. He may have ended up being worse off with no stability in his life whatsoever. Chances are he would have ended up in foster care and who actually wants that? I also feel bad for OP for being put in this situation in the first place. I know what it's like to have to savor every penny and be as thrifty as possible. To some "it's only a few more dollars", but to OP , it was either put gas in the car, or feed their family, or feed this other kid," no way are all of the above possible. This really is a tough situation.
You're right about foster care. Too often, the abuse and neglect is far worse than what the child endured with their parents (nine-year survivor here). Calling CPS would have been the best thing for OP to do. However, never having dealt with a situation like this, it's easy to be caught off-guard. OP is definitely not an AH. Besides, would any of YOU look any better in the same situation, having done the same thing?
Load More Replies... When my son was in HS, he was observed giving his lunch money to a young lady. One of his teachers was a lunch monitor and reported it to a guidance counselor, who happened to be his great-aunt. (which she made sure everyone knew 🙂) She called me and told me what was reported to her. When I got home from work, I asked him about it. At first, he was closed mouth about it; then he told me that she didn't have any money to buy lunch, so he gave her his money. All I said was- oh, okay. I was not going to discourage that and I informed my aunt that it was alright for him to do it. My son was a walker; he was always the first one home, and he knew he could fix anything he wanted to eat when he got there. He saw someone in need and took steps to do what was in his power, something about it.🤔
Your son has a kind, beautiful heart. No doubt because he was raised by kind, compassionate parents. The world needs more of this.
Load More Replies... How is this person the a*****e? Let me give somebody free food for an entire year and then stop cause you can't afford it? F**k you. You people remind me of the woman that posted a video,, bitching about how the chicken from the homeless shelter was dry.
You clearly lack reading comprehension skills. People are saying she is the AH because she never bothered to contact school administration or social services about a boy who was clearly being neglected or abused, then suddenly cutting off the free lunches to a boy who was in dire need of them without warning. Perhaps you would benefit from going back to school to learn how to read better?
Load More Replies... If this is in the US, the young man can get free lunches and possibly free breakfast, but his parents have to fill out the paperwork. Maybe offer that information to the parents and offer to help complete the papers. They may be illiterate and embarrassed, so it's a delicate situation. Illiteracy in this country is way higher than it should be.
Many parents won't fill out the paperwork because "they aren't poor" or don't need handouts. Schools need some latitude with programs, but I'm sure there's been abuse.
Load More Replies... Its interesting how many people quickly jump to "reporting to child services" because a child didnt have lunch money. First, most places such as child services are not a wholseome network of good folks.
Youre right, CPS isn't exactly the greatest entity to get involved. So many kids have been "lost in the system" and the places where kids are placed can be worse than where they are currently at. That, along with overworked, underpaid and overwhelmed social workers that can be emotionally wiped out and so numb that giving a crud is difficult at best...so yeah, not always a good thing. But ,serious questiom,what else is there to do? Who else is there to call on in a situation where contacting the parents of the neglected kid will be met with indifference at best, and I don't want to think about the worst. Maybe extend family of the kid, if you can find them and they aren't as bad. Who else is there to help?
Load More Replies... I feel divided. it could have been handled better but I also find it interesting, based on the little info we have is the hungry boys parents didn’t call ever until the lunch was cut off. Now, I think mom feeding the kids was expecting some thanks and that’s somewhat natural but she wasn’t getting it and obviously the hungry kids parents were fine with the non-arranged arrangement. I think they both have some assumptions about the other and their own responsibilities. cutting a hungry kid off of his lunch w/o warning is definitely wrong! Her kid probably felt awkward and confused as to why and imagine how he had to deal with his best friend expecting a full lunch and now he can’t have any lunch. Peter, probably wondered all day what he did wrong. The authorities definitely needed to be involved and if mom wanted thanks, she should have had a mature discussion with Peters mom. She is ATA for hurting her own and his BFF KIDS for her decisions. She made the kids the pawns!
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion but I don't know what to do some people's opinions are just wrong
Load More Replies... This whole situation needs reported to CPS....like a year ago. I understand wanting to feed a hungry child, because no child should ever go hungry, but for the other mom to call the kind mom and act like it was her *job* to feed a kid other than her own is outrageous. No good deed goes unpunished, I guess.
OP said themselves "It looks to me like a typical case of neglectful and unfit parents". So whilst NTA for cutting the child off (if you can't afford it any more you can't afford it), YTA for not reporting your concerns to the school/child services and not providing advance warning to Peter or his parents that Peter wasn't going to be getting lunch from you in future. Also, it seems OP is blaming Peter's parents but hasn't considered Peter's parents could themselves have been struggling due to financial difficulties (in which case, the school and/or a food bank might have helped them a year ago).
Given the way this ended, it kind of feels like her biggest priority in doing this was to feel good about herself as an altruistic angel, and as the child's sole savior. Otherwise, she would have looked into community resources - into helping find the child a safety net so he wouldn't have to rely only on her for being fed - into making sure he had a good transition to a different arrangement. But when all one wants is to pay themselves on the back and take all the credit, no way they're going to share the load. And the moment it no longer serves them, they'll coldly cut the person off that is no longer doing them any good. The most telling thing here is, her worry isn't whether that kid is going to be okay going forward. Her worry is how SHE'S going to be seen. 😕 Maybe she should take a few minutes out of her time using the internet for her own validation, and use them to contact some organizations that can be a safety net for that kid.
How she wants to be seen? It was a silent gesture. She packed lunch for his friend for a whole year without a peep or gossip to anybody else. At what point does it become an obligation to feed someone else's child and then became lynched by an angry mob when you simply "can't" anymore due to finances? I bet if you had to worry about affording your next meal, or car payments, or mortgages, you certainly wouldn't be sparing a year's worth of food for others. This is the real world we live in. Poverty in other places doesn't go away just because you aren't currently casting your gaze there. I'll be honest and say I don't donate to feed hungry kids in Sri Lanka or Chile, but then again neither of all of you are either. Entitled humans living in first world countries who think they know better. We all live the same. We all bleed the same. We all die the same. Get over yourself. The comment section is the real AH here.
Load More Replies... Chances are your son will continue to share whatever he has,( haven’t you ever had a best friend).. so you probably now have 2 half hungry kids!
My son always gave his drink away, because a boy would whine every day that he wanted his, cause it was better. So annoying. Son couldnt say no. He got cheaper stuff from his parents, because they spent money on themselves. They weren't even poor. I started to give 2 packages. Else my son got nothing. It was only one year luckily.
Load More Replies... Okay, you had me in a fantastic mood about this, right up until you pulled the rug out from under the kid, put your son in an awkward position with his friend, essentially throwing him under the bus. No, it's not your responsibility to feed the child but the fact is, based on your account, the child is hungry. You could have, at the very least, spoke with the child and explain that you're unable to keep it up. You should then speak with the mother about it and subsequently to some authority at school. When my children were in elementary school, I gave them extra lunch money, or, when I packed lunch for them I gave them extra or additional money for any of their friends who didn't have lunch. I found out later that it helped a child immensely. It wasn't neglect but his mom was a single parent like me but didn't have enough all the time. God is good. I was blessed and had no issues sharing it. A child is hungry that is the overwhelming factor here. His mother...rude and disrespectful.
What people aren't considering is why the SCHOOL never noticed the kid was going hungry? This had been going on before OP started making his lunch. Schools are mandated reporters~~by law, they MUST report all suspicions of neglect or abuse. Why is no one harping about the SCHOOL?
Load More Replies... YTA, I couldn't let a child go hungry. Even if you just pack him some fruit and milk and a couple of cookies or something, you should make sure he eats something! And telling your son that his lunch is only for him, puts him in a bad light as he probably wants to help his friend!
I agree with Reddit on this one. Absolutely the friend's mom should have been feeding her kid- or at least find some assistance- but OP should have given some warning. Maybe even offer to help find the free-lunch forms. I'm sad that there's such a lack of good people these days.
How does one go from caring mother to financial hard-azz so quickly? Details are being left out, or her fam has been hit by a big crisis. Also, I love those commenters who just can't seem to understand that some parents are complety effed up, + yes, to be a good human you do need to care if a child is starving, even if they're not your own.
Dollar tree loaf of bread 1.25. peanut butter. 1.25. Good Lord. Has a cell phone and internet but can't afford 2.50 a week to feed a child? Wanting attention by posting on internet but can't use Internet to find resources for a child she thinks is being neglected. What the world has become. And sorry but I would never put my child in a place where he was told not to share his food with a hungry child. We might not have had much but we had morals and compassion. Ugh. Shame on anyone who thinks it is ok to raise the next generation to not care about their fellow human beings. I myself would go without to feed a child. And yes some kids have parents that just suck that won't fill out a simple form. So maybe we as a society should make all schools give free lunches without paperwork just based on need. Hello, we feed prisoners three meals. Get off the internet pick up the phone and fix the problem your an adult. Ugh.
All I can say about this is it's very ungodly to not share especially with a child. I myself would go without to make this child a lunch with my child. All parents aren't the same. Just the thought of what if it was your child going through the back of your head you would want someone to do the same for your child. Be good to the innocent people regardless of the situation.
The only person being hurt here is Peter. No it's not OPs responsibility to feed Peter however they did take that responsibility on. To suddenly stop ( although I understand the reason) will hurt Peter not only physically but emotionally too (feeling let down). I've been in a similar situation to OP and didn't even consider stopping the extra food. Personally I couldn't let a child go hungry ( I've been the hungry child too and it sucks big time)
I didn't want you to be the AH, but YTA for a few reasons. Sorry. You had Gregory do your dirty work. YOU should have been telling Peter, "No more free lunches!" That wasn't Gregorgy's OR Peter's problem-that was YOUR PROBLEM. You needed to handle that one and you owe BOTH OF THEM A GENUINE APOLOGY for involving them like that! YOU should have made a call to Peter's mother stating you were unable to maintain two lunches instead of instructing Gregory on what to say to Peter. How many DAYS passed that you were complicit with Peter's mother that you had opportunity to report this ongoing neglect to either their school or CPS? YTA.
I get she was being taken advantage of by the lazy and uncaring parents but she could have handled it better for the child’s sake. Unless she apologizes to the boy, he will remember all his life how she cut him off, instead of remembering her kindness. She should have gone to the parents and had a talk with them before cutting him off, so to speak. And an extra sandwich isn’t going to break her bank in my mind - she was just feeling annoyed at not being appreciated and I get that, but she’s an adult. He’s a neglected boy. I still remember how my best friend’s parents got us separated into different home rooms when we went to high school and I found out that the reason was they thought we spent too much time together as kids (since grade 1). I was a lonely and neglected child after my mother committed suicide when I was 11, so having a close confidant helped me during that difficult time.
She has no reason to apologize to that child as she didn't do anything wrong. She is owed an apology from his parents for feeding their child for a year. His parents didn't step up because they were more than willing to let someone else take care of their child's needs. When you're living on a strict budget one extra sandwich each day for a year can break the bank. I was a single mother and there wouldn't have been any way I could feed an extra mouth for a year.
Load More Replies... I think it was very kind of her for feeding him but she should have let the school know that Peter wasn’t being fed properly. It sounds like his family isn’t very good people. Rather than thanking her for feeding their son, they get angry when she stops. That’s poor judgment and a bad attitude. Child services isn’t a good option. They can’t do much.
What about the possibility that the school knew but just didn't care? My last 3 years of high school, in a different district and state, they never gave a sh*t about the teachers and students. Unless those students were the football players 🙄.
Load More Replies... I can’t believe she didn’t notify the school! That’s step 1. Then you can feed the kid if you wish but most schools have programs in place for kids to have a lunch. Parents don’t always fill out the free and reduced lunch forms so there are safety nets but they have to be notified.
So, when my pa, my mom's dad, was a child, his parents had to turn him over to a group home/school because they couldn't afford to take care of him. Subsequently, when he discovered my mom was helping another little girl eat, during lunch at school, he just gave her more money. Fast forward to my childhood, when all my friends are on the assisted school lunch program, but my mom is packing me a full lunch, and giving me money "just in case I decide I'd rather have what their serving, and dessert, of course." I didn't know about my pa, or any of that back then, but I do now, and it gives me warm fuzzies.
Yeah OP handled it wrong. Obviously communication with the other mother would have been a better way to go, but I'm not sure I would have handled it better. That's an incredibly hard phone call to make. Telling a mother she isn't doing right by her son or calling the school on her. Obviously your job is to make you have enough for your own family and if feeding an extra child is putting a strain on you then you have to stop. In a perfect world you should have called the mother, let her know her son isn't getting enough, that you can no longer do it and recommend a food bank or a lunch program. Whether or not you heard the words the kid appreciated it!
Sorry, but I would have gave that other deadbeat mother an earfull and let her know that the school is aware and will be watching her. So quit being neglectful and a deadbeat to your son and stepup and start acting like a real mother. There are programs that, that worthless mother can sign up for. Can't stand parents like that!! Unacceptable!!
I believe the parent handled this very poorly from beginning to end. You feed the child yes, but you reach out to get the child services, that's where the mistake happened. And you adult and dont throw a tantrum cutting off the kids food because youre suddenly struggling yourself, I mean really, you're an adult, he's a kid. Now he's got more adults abusing him. I have fed hungry kids, my sister in laws kids. She had 5 and was too busy partying and getting her hair done to buy her kids any steady meals. They were family and I knew they were safe but Id often take them out for pizza or pick them up food to make sure they had. Their fridge was always empty despite food stamps. I think she sold them to get her hair done. She was heavy set too so clearly she ate a lot herself. The family as a whole made sure her kids ate. And we babysat when she went out partying. She wasnt a very good mom in my opinion but her kids love her even now. Im divorced. So glad not to be around them anymore.
She certainly needed to report those parents for the blatant neglect of their son. The fact that Peter's mother called OP to COMPLAIN about this tells how entitled and disgusting Peter's parents are. Cutting the kid off from the one guaranteed meal a day is an AH move~~did she think that after a year that household would pick up the slack w/o making the kid suffer? She *should* have called the school, DCS, and the Cops to check out the home~~a wellness check on Peter and family. Instead she put *her* kid in the bad situation of telling his friend he was SOL.
OMG...I WILL cut myself short of meals to feed a child and have done so.A packed lunch is not expensive. My son's would have continued splitting their food despite having been told not to do so. NOT that I ever would have done so. I purchase food for local homeless... cutting out food for home in order to do it. Kids come first, all kids. Contacting the school would be a easy choice for both boys.
Once again, I'm torn. Helping Peter out was the right thing to do, for a while. Once it got to be a habit, OP should have notified the school. Where did Peters mother think he was getting the food? She knew she wasn't making him a lunch herself. Every school system has a free lunch program for kids whose parents might not be able to pack a nutritious lunch. Most even have free breakfast programs too. All a parent needs to do is sign up. What's so difficult about that? Why wasn't Peter getting a free lunch? Frankly, I don't know how Peter's mom could live with herself, knowing somebody else was feeding her kid. OP is a great person for having sympathy for Peter's situation, but an AH for knowing something may be wrong with his home life. She chose silence until she didn't feel like giving him lunch any more. And Peter's mom? The biggest AH.
I would have never just ceased sending Peter’s lunch with my child. If I truly couldn’t afford it anymore I would have been seeking help for this young boy. He probably wonders what did he do wrong for you to just cut him off like that. I have 3 children and at times my daughter shared her lunch with a friend that might have forgotten their lunch or they are to embarrassed to ask for food. Or they don’t want to speak up and tell a adult “I have no lunch to eat!” I’ve always sent extra food in my kids lunches for them to share with their friends.
Not only was she the ahole for suddenly stopping the lunch and notifying anyone but the position she put her poor son in.For him to know his friend was hungry , had him a lunch everyday and then sit down to lunch and say I can not give you anything , would be totally heartbreaking.
Mom, did nothing wrong, I was in this situation, the kids (13yr) mom was jerk so talking to her would have been pointless, the kid did get free lunches, and ate it when something decent was served, I would always throw extra drinks or two salads or sandwiches, one day I just didn't anymore, the comments on her sad, like should of called the school or CPS, that one's gotta be a joke, unless the kid had her skeleton showing through, they aren't worried if a kid is eating a lunch. Mom is not this kids mother, she under no obligation to explain anything to this kid, I'm sure her son is perfectly capable of saying sorry to his friend my family can't anymore, and kids being kids (well my kids), would share thier lunch regardless of what I instructed them to do, some days they wouldn't even eat, and say they gave their lunch away lunch away, I wouldn't be over thinking if I was AH or not, it is what it is. Your dealing with 13yr not a small child
Still a child at 13... So you're telling me.. You did the same and don't care to talk with the school about it? What?
Load More Replies... I help now and again with some of my neighbours to a new family that has just moved in, but one day one boy who we thought was a good lad beat him up because he asked for a sweet. One sweet which he had a bag full of, so unkind for the lad to do this he didn't know what he done wrong and was asking why. Not anyone said anything to him so we did, we told him that he didn't do anything wrong all he done was ask for something. His parents were livid and called the police on the boy but all the police done was tell them, there was no need to hit him all he had to do was say no or yes. He is now very shy and knocks around with the boys at the back of our house, they have a trampoline and other things there with swings, a round a bout, slides for the small and the big kids even a bouncy castle. He doesn't speak to the boy now who beat him up and not once has he said sorry to him, everyone was saying across the road that they heard him yelling at his mum because his dinner was cold.
Call CPS immediately. For all the ppl who say the C**p mom will figure it out, so what? Good mom can always say everyone at school including teachers witnessed Peter's hunger. Bet c**p mom is eating just fine in the "garage" lol. Report her now! Bet my soul there is something worse coming down the pike for this kid if somebody doesn't.
It really isn't alot to make a kid's lunch. An extra pb and j on white bread ( not the best but not the worst) and an apple ( which in my neck of the woods are pretty inexpensive) or a banana. I know juice boxes can get pricey but look for sales. I would definitely recommend reaching out to school social worker AND continue to feed this kid. Store brand cookies can be an extra treat for not alot of money too. A hungry kid breaks my heart
Not sure she would have been able to come out of this without someone judging her. If she sent word through the child, he might have been embarrassed and not spoken to his parents or if he did they could have gotten their panties in a bunch saying it's not her business or as she did why cut him off. If she had called the parents same and possibly ruined the friendship. If she told the school or CPS then who knows how bad the kid's life would be. Maybe pbj and carrots and a note to parents.
This woman is NTA and its rude to think otherwise. If she was the a-hole, she never would've helped the BFF in the first place. She's already explained her financial situation, and while I feel for the BFF, her primary responsibility is too care for the child/children who live with her. She did something exceptional for the BFF and it appears more to me that BFF's family was taking advantage of the situation judging by the way they responded. They never even thanked her, they just expected her to keep doing their duty for them. I agree that they should be reported, but given the OP's financial situation, I can't blame her for the difficult decision. And before you jump down my throat on this, know that I have been in the BFF's position myself and would never blame someone with money issues for not feeding anyone else's kids.
It's like people who casually feed the neighborhood stray cats or dogs, thinking it's fun and cute, but then suddenly moving away with no plans for anyone else to be feeding them and the animals don't know how to get food for themselves
The OP is TAH for how she handled just cutting of the lunches. She took it apon herself to start extra lunches. As an adult it should been her responsibility to sit Peter down and tell him that she was going to stop the extra lunches. She should have sat Peter down and expaind things have changed, that it's not his fault and not make her son be an AH to his BFF!
Friends parents probably do drugs,locking themselves in garage for hours,not getting child fed,stinky house,self centered.greg mom had good intention,could not relate to bad parents.when u r afraid for another's kid is when 2 report.this is why drugs should not b legalized.this situation could b in every neighborhood.
No, that was only during the pandemic (in 2022-2023) it ended for all students to have free lunch regardless of income. In order to get "free lunch" the parents must file paperwork via government asking for aide, giving their personal info and such for it. Most people are prideful, resulting in the loss for the kids involved- much like Peter.
Load More Replies... I feel like this situation could’ve been handled a lot differently!! this woman knew that her son’s best friend was going hungry and then she told her son don’t share food with him anymore; what about food he didn’t eat? He couldn’t share leftovers with him? but Most importantly she should’ve spoke to the kid before cutting him off so he knew not to except a shared lunch anymore; I understand it’s not her responsibility to feed another child but at least make sure that child is getting fed somehow! Turning a blind eye to the situation is the worst thing that someone can do !! She could’ve talked to the school explaining how she’s been making 2 lunches to feed her son and his best friend but she can no longer afford to do so and the kid still needs to eat; many schools have programs to help children so they don’t go hungry or various youth organizations they have scholarships for needy families so they have somewhere safe to be at and receive whatever help they need.
How does she not think that was an a****** thing to do to a kid. I can understand not wanting to support another child when times are tight, but to just unilaterally decide to stop without the human decency of warning the boy he would have to make other arrangements, is mind boggling. This woman would most likely be livid if someone treated her son that way. This is another human being, not some stray animal you just decided to stop feeding on your porch. Hell most people wouldn't even do that to stray animals. So sad and heartbreaking. Something Needed to be said to Someone before just stopping. Also took setting a good example for her son and turned it into a crappy example of how to treat/help others in need. Handled so poorly and sadly.
I understand why you can't feed him and it does take a lot of money to feed another kid lunch and I understand how other people might think that maybe going to the school might be the best option but it's really not because that's probably just going to cause him to get taken away and that's not good for anyone he'll just be another kid in the foster care system. I think you handled it the best you could and you did a lot better than a lot of people would
YTA Peter did nothing wrong except trust you to make sure he at least had one meal a day and you simply just stopped. I have been hungry and there was a time when the free school lunch was my only meal. And we woukd not have had that if someone hadn't known we were hungry and stepped in and made sure we were approved for it. Your finances may be tight but it seems Peter's may be nonexistent. I can only hope you are never hungry
Hungry, dressed in whatever, all day long, nobody cared about us as kids, ever. We all have health problems as a result. Bravo that you fed him! Your critics, bless their ignorant about how things really work hearts. Yes the school should know and let them handle it from there. They're pretty good at keeping the reporting anonymous . His home life sounds very sketchy at best. In a perfect world it wouldn't happen.... but really?
She couldn't call you and say Thank you for feeding Peter but called to fuss at you because you stopped feeding Peter it seems something is taking their money and they are enjoying it in the garage.What makes her think you are rich and can afford a extra mouth to feed it's her child not your's to feed.But I am sure Peter enjoyed the brown bag lunch check with the school and see if your son and Peter can get free lunch vouchers.
NTA. If Peter's house 'smelled really bad' and the parents were 'locking themselves in the garage for hours', I would bet they are drug addicts. You did what you thought was right until it affected your families finances, then quit. Peter's mother acted exactly like a drug addict would, blame the wrong parent. If they weren't so drug addicted, they would have packed their son a lunch from the jump.
Yes my dear, unfortunately YATA. Turn it around and think how you'd feel if it was your child going hungry. I taught in the projects for 23 years and some people have NO CONCEPT of how a hungry tummy affects every aspect of a child's life. I've helped lots of kids over the years, and I'd always try to find out the situation if possible. Whatever the reason, it's definitely not the child's fault. Did you think of discussing it with the child? Having your child talk to his friend? They seem to have been friends a long time, could you not visit with the parent? Not from a condeming place, but from one of caring to see if you could help the situation. One of my parents couldn't read, and was too ashamed to ask for help, so they were unable to fill out the paperwork for foodstamps. I took her and we got it all filled out and she was definitely deserving. It made all the difference to her and her children. We were also able to sign her up for additional services too. Feed the child...
I have had some professional experience w/ CPS. They can overreact—but not always. Peter may be being neglected/abused in other ways; sexually/physically(?). Are there local or non-local saner relatives who might take him in? CPS will investigate. Despite your finances, have you considered taking him in as a foster child? He sounds like a nice kid. Do it through the system, though, b/c otherwise you could be liable for many things. You could be saving his emotional/physical life. They will pay you to cover his expenses. If you can, the angels will love you. that mother knew that BFF’s mother not only knew that her child was fed lunch but that she had come to expect it which is a sign of entitlements that bodes that Peter is being neglected in other ways. He might be physically and/or sexually abused by one or both parents. What are they doing in the garage all day? Doing drugs, I would imagine. Have you and your husband discussed the possibil
Stop reading after “the angels will love you.” The rest is deleted material. I’m not sure how it ended up there. NTA, but uninformed.
Load More Replies... Part of the original story appears to be missing. You are getting sloppy, BP.
Some schools in the UK use a type of 'credit card' that the kids top up monthly or weekly. They use these to 'pay' for their School Dinners daily as it saves time for the Dinner Ladies working with cash. It wasn't until the end of term a few years back that my son came home with a letter informing me that I owed the School £35.00 for school dinners and could I pay it back before the end of term. Confused I phoned the school in case my son had been given the letter in error and was told that he did owe it, despite my giving him his dinner money in advance. I finally got out of my son that he had been using his 'card' to pay for one of his friends' School Dinners as he never had any money nor brought a packed lunch to school and he didn't want him to go hungry . I paid the money to the School and my son took a packed lunch instead the next term. I did put extra in though for his friend just in case, it turned out that he had always had a packed lunch of his own but preferred School Meals
You didn’t really want to deal with the situation so you found the easiest way possible (at the time) to deal with it, you threw money at it. Until that way wasn’t easy anymore. You clearly felt resentful for even doing that because you say you weren’t thanked. Fair enough, we all have issues in our own lives without taking on outside issues. But you admit knowing it was a case of neglect (did you think they were locked in the garage making pottery for hours on end) and didn’t report it or at least tell the school that you had been making lunches, giving them a chance to help. Then without notice you cold turkey cut off a food source for a child that had come to depend on it, causing more psychological harm (to your child as well btw for making him enforce your new rule) and no doubt damaging the boys’ relationship. You’re not an a*****e, an a*****e would have let the boy go hungry, but this situation was unfortunately handled wrong.
Wow. I'm absolutely blown away by the sense of entitlement that mother has blaming YOU for HER child not being fed!!????? And the a******s commenting she's an a h bcz she cut off food???? YUP REALLY SAD FOR PETER, BUT THATS HIS PARENTS PROBLEM. Lady did her best but it's not up to her to follow up, ffs, Peter's mum can call and blow her up for nt feeding her kid, PUT THE SAME EFFORT INTO HELPING UR DAMN KID THN. OMFG.
everyone is missing the point this is not her kid and was doing something out of the kindness of her heart but like it always goes people forget this was a good deed no an obligation NTA
Deeeefinitely NTA, but handled rather indelicately with regards to the abused child. What an amazing woman for taking on the responsibilities of other parents without request, credit, or thanks. As for the abusive parents, they need to be sterilised and their child remanded to the state.
NTA, it's not your child and everyone seems to think that because they have kids they can't afford that it automatically becomes other people's responsibility. Heck, one person said "Children going hungry is everyones business." No its not, its social services business. Your responsibility is to your child that you birthed and only that child, everyone needs to stop trying to force their kids down other people's throats. Also, it's not OP's responsibility to make sure the kid's fed, if they need help with lunches then the mom of Peter can reach out to the school and other places and ask for help, idk why everyone is making it OPs problem and responsibility to tell someone when it's Peter's mom who should take all responsibility. OP was nice enough to feed him for a little while and yall 💩 on her, this is why no one's nice to others anymore, cause it's never enough.🙄
I don’t understand why everyone is coming for this woman who was doing something for somebody else’s child without even a dang thank you!! Peter is 13 and doesn’t know who to acknowledge that someone is taking care of him better than his own parents but as soon as it stops he can go tell his mom that someone else’s mom isn’t feeding him??? Make it make sense!! This lady did NOTHING wrong. She went above and beyond for this child for NOTHING in return. Everyone saying it’s her responsibility is WRONG! Her responsibilities are to HER household first. She said she couldn’t do it bc of financial responsibilities. Why would she make her family suffer for someone else’s child. Call CPS. That’s not her child or responsibility and she’s a God send for even doing what she did. Most of these people criticizing her wouldn’t even do the same thing she did so shut up!! A whole year of feeding someone else’s child for free and y’all have the audacity to say it’s her responsibility? Nope
Wow everyone saying she you in the wrong but I disagree because you did a lot a year is a lot of money for a kid not yours. It's your choice to call CPS because sometimes jump to quick to call them or make up lies or just parent different. Yes they have free lunch and he probably been getting it since he started school. The school should have new what was going on. The boy could have also had a lunch he didn't like and his best friend mom packed better food or snacks kids like more. Stop being mean to this lady she can't afford it anymore. The boy is old enough to tell his mom or teacher that he is hungry.
Did people miss the part where she sat her son down and explained why she was stopping? Obviously he would have passed that info on to his friend. The only thing I think she did wrong was not reporting this to the school and/or cps who could have made sure he had a lunch everyday and looked into his situation at home. Im at a loss for words when it comes to the kids mother calling and acting outraged that she wasn't feeding her child daily when its her responsibility to feed her child. She clearly has no shame over the fact she isn't being a parent in the most basic and important ways. The word entitlement gets used to much these days but this is an example of next level entitlement.
No your not in the wrong,peters mother rings you when you stopped providing his lunch she didn't ring to say thankyou or anything ungrateful,just keep sending your son with his own lunch if peters mother has a problem may its her that needs to ask for help ,I don't agree with most of these comments it's not your problem you tried to help and peters mother just took advantage if your kindness and was rude she hung up what a cheek to ring you in the first place.im on your side .
NTA. You are not, a food bank, a charity, a soup kitchen. You feed this kid when it’s his Parents responsibility to do so, they’re smoking up a Dooby in their garage instead of feeding their kids. Call CPS. Peter is being neglected. You cannot afford to keep feeding this kid & you don’t owe Anyone an explanation. Send the parents a Bill for all the food you provided. $10 a week for 40 weeks.
YTA for how you handled it. Peter is not responsible for feeding himself- he is a CHILD. You needed to pay a visit in person to his parents and let them know you can't afford to support their son any longer, and if they don't start feeding their own child, you will turn them in to Child Protective Services. Take it to the parents, not the kid. The next stop is reporting them to the school. Perhaps Peter can be included in a subsidized lunch program through the school.
Please. Im Gen X. I grew up poor, in the country. And my Mom disappeared when I was 5. I didn't get Breakfast or lunch, and it wasn't other kids responsibility to feed me. Guess what. Me, and 2 other kids had a secret garden at school, and... we ate all the time. In fact, when our garden got discovered after 2 years, we were given permission to expand it, were given help to build a greenhouse and got science credit for it too. The school called my Dad, to tell him about our garden, thinking it was something to be proud of. Too bad my Dad beat me unconscious for "embarrassing the family". Gotta love Boomer logic.
I'm so sorry for what you went through. You did not deserve any of it. I sure hope you have a good life now. That wasn't Boomer logic though. Your dad is an abusive a-hole.
Load More Replies... YTA for not sitting the hungry kid down and talking to him! Your son gave a clue as to what's going on at his friend's house (bad smells, parents locking themselves in the garage); a brief conversation with the boy would've filled in the blanks somewhat. You also could've contacted the school regarding the boy's situation, as well as CPS to check on the boy's home life. This is a case of neglect, especially if there's a possibility of drug use involved.
Anytime you start feeding anyone, yes animals included, you become responsible.
What a great way to discourage anyone from helping anyone, ever. If you help, you're obligated for life? Hard no.
Load More Replies... This lady did nothing wrong. Shame on those of you blaming her in all this.
Guess what, no one is under any obligation to feed someone else's kid, and no one is obligated to explain to that kid or his parents why they're no longer going to help. You all are crazy. Do you explain to the homeless guy why you're not going to give him spare change today? If you don't explain it to him, are you a bad person? B******t.
Ahe is not right..she is a half mother...its not your fault or responsibility...dont feel bad.. your family comes first...
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