“Am I A [Jerk] For Bringing 6 People With Me To My Niece’s Wedding?”

Planning a wedding is hard work. Some couples hire wedding planners to help with everything and to be sure that on their special day, they get to actually enjoy it and not worry about anything, but others do everything by themselves. Well, obviously, sometimes mistakes are made, but if everything turns out fine, no worries, right?

Unfortunately, not for everybody. This Reddit user shared his story online after due to his niece’s error, he thought his entire family was invited to her wedding. While the bride had no issues with that, her mom kept criticizing him for being ‘inconvenient’.

More info: Reddit

If there is an invite for your family, you would probably assume the entire family is welcome

Image credits: Thomas William (not the actual photo)

This man shared that his family got an invitation to his niece’s wedding, thus he took his 5 children and his wife

Image credits: Leonardo Miranda (not the actual photo)

He added that the wedding was not big, just for family and close friends and everything went great

Image credits: Samantha Gades (not the actual photo)

However, after the wedding, the man’s sister sent him a message scolding him for being inconvenient and arguing that he should have double-checked with the couple before taking all of his kids

Image credits: TAonlyAITA

He then contacted his niece to clarify and she said that it was a planning error of hers, but in the end, she was glad that everyone came

A Reddit user posted his story to one of the most judgemental communities asking folks online if he was being a jerk for bringing 6 people along with him to his niece’s wedding. The post received quite a lot of attention and got over 2.5K upvotes and 638 comments.

The original poster (OP) started his story by sharing that he has 5 kids, ranging in age from 9 to 17. Now, his niece recently got married and he received an invitation that said ‘OP’s Family’ on it. To his understanding, family means everybody, so in addition to himself, he took his 5 kids and wife. The wedding was not big, just for family and close friends.

Everything was great and everybody had a good time, until OP received a text message from his sister, who is the bride’s mom, the following day. It said that he had been inconvenient and should have asked the couple about it.

Despite his explanation that the invitation stated ‘family’, she still kept saying that when you have a big family, you need to confirm. For clarification, OP contacted his niece, who admitted that it was her planning error, but in the end, she was happy that everybody came. But you know who still had a problem with the whole situation? OP’s sister, who still kept criticizing him.

Community members also backed up the author and discussed that he was not being a jerk in this situation. “NTA. When the invitation says ‘and family’ and your relative knows exactly how big your family is, it’s natural to assume that you are all invited,” one user wrote. “NTA, your sister is wrong. It’s common sense, if an invite is sent to ‘family’ it means the family is invited,” another added.

Image credits: Thomas William (not the actual photo)

“Wedding invitation etiquette can be really tricky and confusing, a little bit like trying to learn a new dance without any steps,” shared Jhona Yellin, an editor in chief at Bespoke Bride, with Bored Panda. “When an invitation says ‘OP’s family,’ it usually means only the closest relatives, like the stars of the show. But when it comes to kids or no kids, that’s a whole different dance.”

Jhona adds that for OP, the mistake of thinking “OP’s family” meant all five of his kids was like a dance gone wrong. “To avoid such problems, couples should be clear and honest from the start.” Also, there is a whole guide on wedding invitation wording just for this purpose. “Communication is the key to a smooth dance, and it makes sure everyone is on the same page, making the wedding a happy and beautiful dance of love.”

When it comes to weddings with a limited guest count, Jhona notes that planning one can definitely be a challenging task. “Wanting a small party and keeping the family happy is like walking on a thin wire, where one mistake can ruin the sweet music of the big day,” she emphasizes. 

I think it’s not hard to guess that family expectations don’t make the wedding planning process easier or smoother. “To make family expectations work, couples have to be diplomats, talking to everyone and making sure they all feel part of the big show,” Jhona shares. “While it is your wedding and you have the final say, you should also respect and empathize with your family’s feelings and opinions.”

She also adds that you should always try to seek compromise and consensus. “While you don’t have to agree with everything your family says or wants, you should also try to find some common ground and compromise where possible.”

And finally, be firm and consistent. Jhona points out that while you should be respectful and diplomatic, you should also be firm and consistent with your boundaries and decisions. “You should not let your family pressure or manipulate you into doing something you don’t want to do, or change your mind every time they disagree with you.”

So, guys, while as it turned out, the whole situation was a miscommunication, as it can be seen, one small mistake can cause quite a bit of family drama! Also – if you’re planning a wedding yourself, check out this wedding guest list guide which gives some useful tips and ideas for the fine art of creating your guest list and ensuring a happy celebration without upsetting anyone!

Redditors stood by the author and assured him that he did as was written on the invitation – brought his family

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