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Obese Woman Turns To Friend Asking To Switch B&B Rooms, Ends Up Sobbing Instead
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Obese Woman Turns To Friend Asking To Switch B&B Rooms, Ends Up Sobbing Instead

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Going on a girls trip is one of the best ways women can bond with their friends. This might include spending a weekend at the beach gossiping and catching up or a couple of days at the spa to relax and unwind. These little getaways can create lifelong memories and allow friends to step away from the hustle and bustle of their busy lives for a few days.

But one woman’s upcoming trip with friends started going downhill before it even began, after a friend requested that they swap beds to accommodate her body. Below, you’ll find the full story that was posted on Reddit, as well as a conversation with the woman who shared this story and some of the replies readers left.    

This woman goes on an annual trip with her closest friends each year

Image credits: setofotografias/ Envato elements (not the actual photo)

But this vacation was off to a rocky start after her plus-sized friend requested that they swap beds to accommodate her body

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Image credits: RachidBendhiba/ Envato elements (not the actual photo)

Later, the woman responded to readers and clarified a few more details about the situation

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Image credits: TooEmbarrassed7

Going on a girls trip is a great way to bond with friends

As we get older, it can become harder and harder to find time to spend with friends. You might not live in the same city as your bestie anymore, and the two of you might have demanding jobs that allow for very little vacation time. If your best friend is married, it might seem like they only spend time with their spouse now, and if you have young children, you can kiss your social life goodbye for the first few years. Since when did we have to schedule coffee dates a month in advance?

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But no matter how difficult it can become, making time to go on a trip with close friends will certainly be worth the hassle. According to Tripoto, taking a girls trip can be a great way to recharge your batteries and spend time doing things that your partner might not necessarily be interested in on vacation. If your spouse wouldn’t be down for a spa day, you can enjoy one with your girlfriends! Plus, traveling with close friends is safer and often more fun than going alone.

Time away together allows you to be fully present with your friends, rather than wondering if your baby is okay in the next room or worrying about picking up your kids from soccer practice in an hour. And it’s a wonderful way to sustain those close relationships that you built before life was so busy.     

To learn more about this specific situation, we reached out to the woman who shared this story online, Reddit user TooEmbarrassed7, who was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda. First, she noted that she “had no idea this post would blow up the way it did,” adding that it’s “definitely changed [her] perspective on a lot of things.”

“I’ve learned that it’s more important that everyone is comfortable”

The OP also shared that her group of friends has been going on these trips for several years, and the random selection tool has never been an issue. “Nobody has ever complained about it until now, but I have learned one very important tip from the Redditors: ask my friends ahead of the selection if any accommodations need to be made, and then factor that into the selection,” she noted.

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“I’ve learned that it’s more important that everyone is comfortable! I also like the suggestion that, instead of 100% randomizing choices every year, the two people who got last choice the prior trip can have first choice on the next trip,” she added.

We were also curious if Marie had been stuck with the worst bed on a recent trip. “We go to different places every year, so it’s not always the case that there’s a twin bed situation, but Marie has never gotten one before that I can recall,” TooEmbarrassed7 said. “She has definitely never shared a room before. I got a twin bed one time when I was larger and had no problem with it.”

The OP also noted that, depending on where the woman are traveling to, they can sometimes find reasonably priced 5-bedroom houses. “This year, we are going to an area where the rentals are too expensive for it, which is why we decided to go with a 4-bedroom house,” she explained. “I see that being the case in the future, so we just have to be more aware of everyone’s limitations.”

We also asked TooEmbarrassed7 what she thought of the replies her post received. “After posting my question, MOST people said I wasn’t the AH, and quite a few of those people ripped into Marie as if she was some kind of monster,” she told Bored Panda. “She is not. She’s a lovely person and the matriarch of our friend group. I honestly believe her tears were genuine and not an attempt at manipulation.”

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“In the end, it is more about getting together and having a good time with friends, rather than a small indignation that could ruin the whole trip”

“A smaller subset of people pointed out that, though I was still technically right for refusing to switch, I wouldn’t have been a good friend if I refused,” the OP continued. “Some people suggested that she might have been more worried about sharing her room, rather than the size of the bed. This makes SO MUCH more sense, because as a former plus size person whose snoring could be heard ‘round the world, I know how embarrassing it is to share a room, knowing your roommate would have to listen to you snoring.”

TooEmbarrassed7 said that she eventually decided to switch rooms. “I was so focused on things being ‘fair,’ that I forgot about being a good friend,” she admitted. “In the end, it is more about getting together and having a good time with friends, rather than a small indignation that could ruin the whole trip.”

Finally, she wanted to call out some of the cruel replies she read. “There were so many comments where Marie was being severely judged on her weight alone,” she pointed out. “It was never my intention to make this a debate about weight, but I was also attacked for being fatphobic and this couldn’t be further from the truth. Marie is truly a wonderful person, and for people to rip into her knowing almost nothing about her except that she’s plus sized is heartbreaking.”

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We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. Then, if you’re interested in reading another Bored Panda article discussing drama that came from traveling with friends, look no further than right here!

Many readers agreed that the woman had done nothing wrong

However, some thought that she could have been more compassionate

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cali-tabby-katz avatar
LakotaWolf (she/her)
Community Member
2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm a bit iffy about the "YTA" comment that said "YTA - She started crying and you still wouldn't do it?" Sooooooo........ regardless of my situation/weight/etc., I should just start crying if I don't like something and if everyone doesn't change everything IMMEDIATELY to accommodate me, they're the a-holes?

anne-karina avatar
Anne
Community Member
2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was going to comment the same. Crying does not do anything but manipulate IMHO.

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gohido9175 avatar
Bexxxx
Community Member
2 weeks ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OP actually sounds pretty mature in her edits. She knows she lacks empathy and is asking for help judging the situation. And is willing to consider that maybe she didn’t understand her friend’s motivations to switch beds.

fay_trezise avatar
Jeevesssssss
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah I agree. Reddit is quick to judge right vs wrong rather than look at nuances, but she went looking for them despite all the NTAs. It says she did swap beds - I think that was the right call, she certainly didn't have to but it showed consideration.

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shylabouche_1 avatar
Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My!
Community Member
2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As a morbidly obese person, I don't know if I could fit in a twin. I can fit in a hospital bed, but they're wider. This woman doesn't sound like she's morbidly obese, just overweight. The chances are that she could have fit. If not, she should have said so before the drawing. I daresay that if she just couldn't fit, the others probably would have "given" her one of the queens, had she explained that she just couldn't fit in a twin. She chose not to speak up, and to try to manipulate OP. OP is NTA.

stephyg1980 avatar
Ms.GB
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes I don't understand why she didn't say something in the beginning? Is it really that embarrassing to say "Hey guy I don't think I'm gonna be comfortable in a twin bed. I'm willing to pay extra to switch with someone if I don't get a queen."

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cali-tabby-katz avatar
LakotaWolf (she/her)
Community Member
2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm a bit iffy about the "YTA" comment that said "YTA - She started crying and you still wouldn't do it?" Sooooooo........ regardless of my situation/weight/etc., I should just start crying if I don't like something and if everyone doesn't change everything IMMEDIATELY to accommodate me, they're the a-holes?

anne-karina avatar
Anne
Community Member
2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was going to comment the same. Crying does not do anything but manipulate IMHO.

Load More Replies...
gohido9175 avatar
Bexxxx
Community Member
2 weeks ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OP actually sounds pretty mature in her edits. She knows she lacks empathy and is asking for help judging the situation. And is willing to consider that maybe she didn’t understand her friend’s motivations to switch beds.

fay_trezise avatar
Jeevesssssss
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah I agree. Reddit is quick to judge right vs wrong rather than look at nuances, but she went looking for them despite all the NTAs. It says she did swap beds - I think that was the right call, she certainly didn't have to but it showed consideration.

Load More Replies...
shylabouche_1 avatar
Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My!
Community Member
2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As a morbidly obese person, I don't know if I could fit in a twin. I can fit in a hospital bed, but they're wider. This woman doesn't sound like she's morbidly obese, just overweight. The chances are that she could have fit. If not, she should have said so before the drawing. I daresay that if she just couldn't fit, the others probably would have "given" her one of the queens, had she explained that she just couldn't fit in a twin. She chose not to speak up, and to try to manipulate OP. OP is NTA.

stephyg1980 avatar
Ms.GB
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes I don't understand why she didn't say something in the beginning? Is it really that embarrassing to say "Hey guy I don't think I'm gonna be comfortable in a twin bed. I'm willing to pay extra to switch with someone if I don't get a queen."

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