No, Arj Barker doesn’t have a problem with babies or breastfeeding in public. The American comedian took to his Instagram page earlier today (April 22) to address an incident that he has since dubbed “BabyGate,” with people accusing him of hushing a breastfeeding mom out of one of his shows.
Arj’s “let’s clear the air” Instagram post followed an incident that occurred during his show on Saturday (April 20) at the Melbourne Comedy Festival in Australia.
- Comedian Arj Barker faced criticism after he kicked out a mom and her baby from one of his shows.
- The incident, dubbed 'BabyGate,' took place at the Melbourne Comedy Festival.
- Barker defended his decision by emphasizing the need for an uninterrupted show for 700 attendees.
As per 3AW Breakfast, the comedian “sensationally kicked out a mother and her baby” at the Athenaeum Theatre where he was performing, prompting other members of the crowd to walk out in solidarity.
A spectator told the Australian Breakfast radio show today: “He stopped the show and said, ‘Can you take this baby outside?’, and the crowd wasn’t sure whether he was serious.
“It was unbelievably awkward.”
Comedian Arj Barker sparked outrage after telling a mother that her seven-month-old child couldn’t stay at one of his shows
Image credits: James D. Morgan/Getty Images
But it was a thread shared on X (formerly known as Twitter) that sparked worldwide outrage, with a certain Danielle Arbaci, who has since deactivated her account, sharing a rather disturbing account of what went down last weekend.
“Arj Barker demanded my seven-month-old cousin — who relies on her mum for milk (life), my mother, and my Aunty’s friend (also a mum) to leave his show, claiming the he/she was ‘ruining his train of thought’” Danielle wrote.
She continued: “Thanks to the countless women, and one grandfather, who left in protest. Atrocious.
“You’re in the city of Melbourne, at an International Comedy Festival. Have an ounce of respect.”
Arj emphasized the decision had been a “very rough call” that he made on behalf of the “other 700 or so audience members who deserved to see the show they had paid for, uninterrupted”
Image credits: stock.adobe.com
The outraged comedy-goer further alleged that Arj had “badgered” the mom of the seven-month-old and encouraged her group to leave and “get a refund.”
“With all of the hatred and violence women are faced with, among the countless atrocities happening within the world today, I ask you to simply take a long, hard look at yourself,” Danielle concluded.
With backlash growing online, the California native, whose real name is Arjan Singh Āulakh, clarified the situation from his own perspective, recalling: “I had just started my show last Sat night in Melbourne.
“The Atheneum was pretty full and everyone seemed in a great mood.
“Then I heard a baby – not crying but ‘talking’ as they do – a few rows from the stage.
“I made a few jokes about the baby not disrupting my show, and they were well received, then moved on. A few minutes later the baby called out again.
“Now I was quite concerned. In my experience of doing comedy for nearly 35 years, an audience focus is a delicate thing.
“If a noise or movement distracts people mid-joke, the payoff can be greatly diminished.”
According to X user @DJA2808, the comedian claimed the baby was “ruining his train of thought”
Image credits: daniellearbaci_
The 49-year-old went on to explain that with 50 minutes remaining of his show, he chose to make the “difficult” decision to “calmly” inform the woman holding the baby to leave.
“I felt bad doing so and stated this at the time as well as several times throughout the remainder of the show,” Arj wrote. “As she was leaving, I offered for her to get a refund, as a gesture of goodwill.”
The comedian emphasized the decision had been a “very rough call” that he made on behalf of the “other 700 or so audience members who deserved to see the show they had paid for, uninterrupted.”
The Californian also clarified that while some people had left as a result of his decision, “97% of the audience remained and the show was well received.”
Arj went on to refute allegations that he had dismissed the woman for breastfeeding, as he could not even see his audience well enough to notice such details.
“This was all to do with audio disruption of my show, nothing more,” the comedian added. “For the record, I support public breastfeeding, as it’s perfectly natural.”
He concluded: “I’ve nothing against babies, in fact, I was one once, for almost two years.”
Arj stated that the issue “was all to do with [the] audio disruption of [his] show, nothing more”
Image credits: arjbarker/joelozborn
The stand-up star’s statement ignited different reactions, as an Instagram user commented: “Who the hell takes a seven-month-old to a comedy night.”
Another person commented: “I was there, the row behind the baby.
“My partner and I saw her walk in and looked at each other.
“She was four rows from the front in the middle of the row, so definitely not close to the edge like she said.
“She WAS NOT breastfeeding feeding, and hushing the baby every time it made noise so she knew it shouldn’t be.
“I am a mother myself, a single mother at that for many years, I would never have brought my baby to a comedy show.
“It is not acceptable and it’s very selfish.
“Get your baby looked after like everyone else or stay home and put it to bed.
“It was way past its bedtime. And the baby doesn’t want to be there. It has no interest in a comedy show.”
The stand-up star refuted allegations that he had dismissed the woman for breastfeeding, as he could not even see his audience well enough to notice such details
Image credits: arjbarker
“Why does one person think that they are more important than everyone else, I worked hard to raise my child, on my own and would never have considered this.
“She was never thinking of getting up and leaving.
“There were at least 10 people on her way to the end of the row.”
Someone else penned: “Out of curiosity: Do you ask hecklers to leave your show?
“How about people with coughs? People with tics? Autistic people with verbal stims?
“Where do you draw the line at natural human noises during a show?”
An additional person wrote: “The audience paid their hard-earned money to hear you Arj, not the baby.”
A separate individual chimed in: “So most/all of these comments is [sic] pretty much saying that if you have a baby you can’t leave the house.”
Bored Panda has contacted Danielle for comment.
Most people agreed with Arj’s decision, arguing that comedy shows aren’t suitable places for a baby
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There are some places where it's expected that people have enough common sense to not bring young children. An adult comedy show is one of them. Unfortunately, people just think the world revolves around them these days and have no common courtesy. If reports of her being heckled and yelled at are true, I would say that is completely uncalled for. But I agree with asking them to leave if the baby was being disruptive. And to the commenter who mentioned 'do you ask people who cough to leave' --no. But I would hope they'd have enough sense to get up and maybe go to the bathroom or try and find a solution to the problem as to not disturb everyone else. An action that a baby can't choose for itself, which is why the parent needs to have the sense to not bring them to public events where they may cause a disruption.
The venue shouldn't have permitted a baby if there was an age limit. If I was at a comedy show where its often a smaller indoor venue than a concert and a baby was beside me, I'm sure I'd be fairly pissed every time it made a noise. Now if he only chucked them out solely because she was breastfeeding and not because its not a suitable place for a baby then that's a different story he, he sucks. But it sounds like that wasn't the case. Nobody is saying you don't get to have a life when you have a baby but some things are not suitable for kids and its unfair on everyone else who had paid for their ticket that one mom think the rules don't apply to her. There are plenty of family friendly events she could still attend or maybe hire a babysitter like half of the rest of the audience?
I am a performer AND a former breastfeeding mum. From both point of views: the performer is 100% right in calling her out and fight for the 698 other people in the audience to enjoy the show - and YES, the disruption of focus/train of thoughts is real and horrible. Every audience/stage /surrounding is different, we learned to "play" with disruptions (e.g. people arriving late/helicopter/dogs and sirens/crying kids)... . we artists basically choose to "ignore and power through" or "play with the fact" or "stop the show". If he wouldn't have put his foot down it would have gone on and on and on...literally saved his show. // As a mother I don't understand it, as well. Why bring a kid to a +18 show? (And, why was the kid permitted at all?) She asked for it.
I've been to evening movies where people brought babies (Not to a kids movie either) I wish people would not do that. Get a sitter. Not our problem if you cannot afford a sitter and a movie ticket.
Why would you bring a baby to the show? Get a babysitter or don't go. Not everywhere should have to cater to being baby/child friendly. adults deserve spaces and time away from children - especially when it's a paid venue. It's likely there were other parents there, glad to get away from their own kids for the night, only to be met with a baby ruining the atmosphere of the show.
Don't bring babies or children to events that aren't age appropriate. Infants aren't a fashion accessory, if you can't organize a babysitter and a bottlle (expressed milk can go in a bottle) stay at home. It's no different to bringing a toddler, inappropriate and you should stay home if you can't get someone else to watch and feed them
Lol @ clickbait title. Breastfeeding had absolutely nothing to do with it, but BP "author" knows that "Knuckle-dragging male victimizes innocent woman" generates clicks. 🙄
Completely agree with his decision. A BABY does not belong at a comedy show. People pay good money to watch a show without being interrupted by a baby. It's not the baby's fault. It's the inconsiderate actions of the mother. What would ever possess her to think a baby would want to be at a comedy show, late at night. No, the mother was being selfish. When you choose to bring a child into the world, you choose to put it first. So get a babysitter, or stay home with your child. Sacrifices for your baby. And the rest of the world. It doesn't revolve around your decisions.
I was best man at a wedding and on the front row about 13 seconds into the service this lady on the front row takes down the front of her dress and starts breastfeeding her kid. Completely oblivious to how this might disrupt a pretty special moment for the bride and groom. Not one person there (mothers and all) thought it was okay. There's a time and a place for everything.
I'm a firm believer topping costed incapable of following instructions to be quiet should not be at ceremonies where outbursts could be disruptive. Baby shouldn't have been there at all. Maybe the very back row, near a door so if there was a disruption they can get out really fast.
Load More Replies...
If there was an age limit, why was the baby allowed to enter in the first place? Did the mom hide the baby in a trench coat or something? Just enforce the age limit and this problem never arises.
The fact that she compared violence against women to getting kicked out of a comedy club is WILD. I think the comedian was in the right here.
I absolutely despise people who claim any criticism of parents is saying 'people with young children must stay in the house'. No, that's not what they're saying here. Babies don't belong everywhere. And yes, if you have a small child, you'll have to accept that you'll have to wait a xew years until you can bring them to some places. That doesn't mean that parents can't leave the house. But it does mean they can't bring their children to events where they negatively impact everyone else. And yes, the same goes for anyone else who is unable to be quiet. Including people with loud coughs or loud and disturbing stimming. It is sad that some people have problems that prevent them from fully enjoying some things. But still they don't have any right to demand that no one can enjoy them either. You can't go to a classical concert or a wedding ceremony with a chronic cough, you have to accept that this would be unfair unless you're the one getting married. That's life. Sometimes we miss out.
At 7 months breastmilk is important but not “life”. By 7 months the baby is also on baby food. So even if you have a baby that refuses a bottle they will survive without breastfeeding for a bit.
Yeah, that statement was ridiculous! The kid isn't going to die if they don't breastfeed for 2 hours.
Load More Replies...
Did she buy a ticket for her baby? If not the baby was not a paying customer and did not belong there legally.
This chick would be the one who would sit front row at a boxing match with her baby and then complain when boxer blood lands on said baby; sweetums, you brought your baby to an adult space and then got in your fee-fees when adult men shouted at you, an adult women. YOU are the one who put your infant in this situation, not the comedian!
Not the place for a baby....get a sitter an enjoy your night out. If you breastfeed...bottle your milk. He might not have wanted to have the audience yell at the woman, but c'mon, babies cry.....loudly.
So here's my unpopular opinion on this: Babies are not okay everywhere. Comedy/theatre/live performances are generally not the place (except for shows aimed at actual children) and while I 100% appreciate the "Mums deserve a night out too!" argument, it's up to those Mums to take their night out somewhere appropriate to take a baby. Life changes when you have a kid, you're going to miss out on stuff like comedy festivals and concerts for a while. That's how it is.
This whole thing sucks. She shouldn't have brought a baby to an adult venue, the hecklers shouldn't have been jerks to her, he shouldn't have further encouraged the hecklers, and the venue shouldn't have let a child in. These things usually have age limits, so I don't get how this even happened. It would be great if we could all just treat each other with dignity and respect, even when somebody makes an error in judgement. I don't fault him asking her to take the baby out of there, but it could have been handled much better.
There are some places where it's expected that people have enough common sense to not bring young children. An adult comedy show is one of them. Unfortunately, people just think the world revolves around them these days and have no common courtesy. If reports of her being heckled and yelled at are true, I would say that is completely uncalled for. But I agree with asking them to leave if the baby was being disruptive. And to the commenter who mentioned 'do you ask people who cough to leave' --no. But I would hope they'd have enough sense to get up and maybe go to the bathroom or try and find a solution to the problem as to not disturb everyone else. An action that a baby can't choose for itself, which is why the parent needs to have the sense to not bring them to public events where they may cause a disruption.
The venue shouldn't have permitted a baby if there was an age limit. If I was at a comedy show where its often a smaller indoor venue than a concert and a baby was beside me, I'm sure I'd be fairly pissed every time it made a noise. Now if he only chucked them out solely because she was breastfeeding and not because its not a suitable place for a baby then that's a different story he, he sucks. But it sounds like that wasn't the case. Nobody is saying you don't get to have a life when you have a baby but some things are not suitable for kids and its unfair on everyone else who had paid for their ticket that one mom think the rules don't apply to her. There are plenty of family friendly events she could still attend or maybe hire a babysitter like half of the rest of the audience?
I am a performer AND a former breastfeeding mum. From both point of views: the performer is 100% right in calling her out and fight for the 698 other people in the audience to enjoy the show - and YES, the disruption of focus/train of thoughts is real and horrible. Every audience/stage /surrounding is different, we learned to "play" with disruptions (e.g. people arriving late/helicopter/dogs and sirens/crying kids)... . we artists basically choose to "ignore and power through" or "play with the fact" or "stop the show". If he wouldn't have put his foot down it would have gone on and on and on...literally saved his show. // As a mother I don't understand it, as well. Why bring a kid to a +18 show? (And, why was the kid permitted at all?) She asked for it.
I've been to evening movies where people brought babies (Not to a kids movie either) I wish people would not do that. Get a sitter. Not our problem if you cannot afford a sitter and a movie ticket.
Why would you bring a baby to the show? Get a babysitter or don't go. Not everywhere should have to cater to being baby/child friendly. adults deserve spaces and time away from children - especially when it's a paid venue. It's likely there were other parents there, glad to get away from their own kids for the night, only to be met with a baby ruining the atmosphere of the show.
Don't bring babies or children to events that aren't age appropriate. Infants aren't a fashion accessory, if you can't organize a babysitter and a bottlle (expressed milk can go in a bottle) stay at home. It's no different to bringing a toddler, inappropriate and you should stay home if you can't get someone else to watch and feed them
Lol @ clickbait title. Breastfeeding had absolutely nothing to do with it, but BP "author" knows that "Knuckle-dragging male victimizes innocent woman" generates clicks. 🙄
Completely agree with his decision. A BABY does not belong at a comedy show. People pay good money to watch a show without being interrupted by a baby. It's not the baby's fault. It's the inconsiderate actions of the mother. What would ever possess her to think a baby would want to be at a comedy show, late at night. No, the mother was being selfish. When you choose to bring a child into the world, you choose to put it first. So get a babysitter, or stay home with your child. Sacrifices for your baby. And the rest of the world. It doesn't revolve around your decisions.
I was best man at a wedding and on the front row about 13 seconds into the service this lady on the front row takes down the front of her dress and starts breastfeeding her kid. Completely oblivious to how this might disrupt a pretty special moment for the bride and groom. Not one person there (mothers and all) thought it was okay. There's a time and a place for everything.
I'm a firm believer topping costed incapable of following instructions to be quiet should not be at ceremonies where outbursts could be disruptive. Baby shouldn't have been there at all. Maybe the very back row, near a door so if there was a disruption they can get out really fast.
Load More Replies... If there was an age limit, why was the baby allowed to enter in the first place? Did the mom hide the baby in a trench coat or something? Just enforce the age limit and this problem never arises.
The fact that she compared violence against women to getting kicked out of a comedy club is WILD. I think the comedian was in the right here.
I absolutely despise people who claim any criticism of parents is saying 'people with young children must stay in the house'. No, that's not what they're saying here. Babies don't belong everywhere. And yes, if you have a small child, you'll have to accept that you'll have to wait a xew years until you can bring them to some places. That doesn't mean that parents can't leave the house. But it does mean they can't bring their children to events where they negatively impact everyone else. And yes, the same goes for anyone else who is unable to be quiet. Including people with loud coughs or loud and disturbing stimming. It is sad that some people have problems that prevent them from fully enjoying some things. But still they don't have any right to demand that no one can enjoy them either. You can't go to a classical concert or a wedding ceremony with a chronic cough, you have to accept that this would be unfair unless you're the one getting married. That's life. Sometimes we miss out.
At 7 months breastmilk is important but not “life”. By 7 months the baby is also on baby food. So even if you have a baby that refuses a bottle they will survive without breastfeeding for a bit.
Yeah, that statement was ridiculous! The kid isn't going to die if they don't breastfeed for 2 hours.
Load More Replies... Did she buy a ticket for her baby? If not the baby was not a paying customer and did not belong there legally.
This chick would be the one who would sit front row at a boxing match with her baby and then complain when boxer blood lands on said baby; sweetums, you brought your baby to an adult space and then got in your fee-fees when adult men shouted at you, an adult women. YOU are the one who put your infant in this situation, not the comedian!
Not the place for a baby....get a sitter an enjoy your night out. If you breastfeed...bottle your milk. He might not have wanted to have the audience yell at the woman, but c'mon, babies cry.....loudly.
So here's my unpopular opinion on this: Babies are not okay everywhere. Comedy/theatre/live performances are generally not the place (except for shows aimed at actual children) and while I 100% appreciate the "Mums deserve a night out too!" argument, it's up to those Mums to take their night out somewhere appropriate to take a baby. Life changes when you have a kid, you're going to miss out on stuff like comedy festivals and concerts for a while. That's how it is.
This whole thing sucks. She shouldn't have brought a baby to an adult venue, the hecklers shouldn't have been jerks to her, he shouldn't have further encouraged the hecklers, and the venue shouldn't have let a child in. These things usually have age limits, so I don't get how this even happened. It would be great if we could all just treat each other with dignity and respect, even when somebody makes an error in judgement. I don't fault him asking her to take the baby out of there, but it could have been handled much better.
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