“Am I The [Jerk] For Not Inviting My Friend’s Husband To Dinner Because He Eats Too Much”
At times, as much as one wishes to hold a big gathering, there may be certain limitations on time, space, or resources, forcing them to either minimize the number of guests in a certain way or find an alternative solution.
So happened to this Redditor who thought she could only invite her friends without their partners for dinner due to her financial situation, yet got called a jerk for it with no offer to share the cost.
More info: Reddit
A woman invited her friends over for dinner, but not their partners, due to her financial situation and was called a jerk
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The woman normally hosts dinners every couple of months and was planning one for the holidays
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This time, the money had gotten tight and the woman felt she couldn’t invite her friend’s husband, which would require her to double the food
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Image credits: Antoni Shkraba (not the actual photo)
The woman only invited her friends for girls’ night and shared the reason for it with her married friend when asked
A woman brought her story to the Reddit AITA community online after being honest with her friend about why she only invited her friends and not their partners for dinner and got called a “jag off”.
The woman explained that she usually hosts dinners every couple of months. However, due to the holidays, money has gotten tight and she felt she couldn’t afford to double the food, which she normally does when her friend’s husband comes as well.
The woman told her friends she was doing the girls’ night and received a call from her friend. The woman was asked why she was doing a girls’ night and told the truth: that it was due to her financial situation and not being able to afford double recipes.
The married friend insulted the woman and other friends were split about the situation, yet no one offered help with the food bill. Eventually, the woman made an update about canceling the dinner.
A friend called the hostess a jerk, while others had split opinions about the situation
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Image credits: Lee Myungseong (not the actual photo)
Yet, as no one suggested splitting the cost, the dinner eventually got cancelled
Miriam Kirmayer discussed honesty among crucial components in close friendships, as holding back isn’t always helpful, and recognizing the thoughts that keep us from connecting with friends and challenging them with compassion and flexibility from both people involved often becomes a catalyst for problem-solving and closer, more balanced friendships.
Naturally, being honest may sometimes spark a disagreement and Verywell Mind listed mistakes to avoid for effective communication and healthy conflict resolution.
The common mistakes included avoiding conflict altogether rather than discussing one’s frustrations in a calm and respectful manner, refusing to address a friend’s complaints, or not trying to understand their point of view.
Finally, they noted that it may be tempting to overgeneralize or play the blame game by blowing things out of proportion, which may stand in the way of actually addressing and solving the issue.
What’s your take on the situation? Please share your thoughts in the comment section below!
Redditors shared their takes on the situation
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OP, I'd drop that girl as a friend. She doesn't get to dictate YOUR "Girls Only" dinners. If she wants dear hubby at dinners - SHE can have them.
Also, maybe someone should mention all this to hubby. If he regularly eats 3+ plates very quickly at a host’s dinner party and was the direct and only cause of some guests only being able to have one plate, and having to order takeout to have enough food for themselves, he should have either been socially aware enough to realize he might have f****d up, or someone could have mentioned that that’s not an acceptable amount of food to eat when others haven’t gotten a chance to even have seconds or fill their bellies. Some people really lack social awareness but someone needs to call him out, that’s selfish and uncool. If he really needs that many calories, he can be responsible for the extra.
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I had a few friends over for dinner and made grilled, marinated sirloin on skewers on the grill. I put some of them aside for my next week's meals, wrapped them up tightly, and served everyone 2 skewers. On guy with an enormous appetite walked himself into the kitchen, unwrapped them, and served himself FIVE more skewers. Said I must have forgotten them! I was so shocked I couldn't think of what to say. No extra dinners! And he inhaled them so quickly his 7 skewers were gone before most people had finished their 2! I still think about that with frustration.
What a jerk! I’d be so grateful if someone served me even a bite of a steak skewer. Some people are entitled walking cringe-fests and I’m just so glad I’m not like that!
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OP, I'd drop that girl as a friend. She doesn't get to dictate YOUR "Girls Only" dinners. If she wants dear hubby at dinners - SHE can have them.
Also, maybe someone should mention all this to hubby. If he regularly eats 3+ plates very quickly at a host’s dinner party and was the direct and only cause of some guests only being able to have one plate, and having to order takeout to have enough food for themselves, he should have either been socially aware enough to realize he might have f****d up, or someone could have mentioned that that’s not an acceptable amount of food to eat when others haven’t gotten a chance to even have seconds or fill their bellies. Some people really lack social awareness but someone needs to call him out, that’s selfish and uncool. If he really needs that many calories, he can be responsible for the extra.
Load More Replies... I had a few friends over for dinner and made grilled, marinated sirloin on skewers on the grill. I put some of them aside for my next week's meals, wrapped them up tightly, and served everyone 2 skewers. On guy with an enormous appetite walked himself into the kitchen, unwrapped them, and served himself FIVE more skewers. Said I must have forgotten them! I was so shocked I couldn't think of what to say. No extra dinners! And he inhaled them so quickly his 7 skewers were gone before most people had finished their 2! I still think about that with frustration.
What a jerk! I’d be so grateful if someone served me even a bite of a steak skewer. Some people are entitled walking cringe-fests and I’m just so glad I’m not like that!
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