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63
MIL Breaks One Simple Rule About Food, Then Wonders Why The Kids Stop Coming Over
Interview With ExpertWe all try to make healthier food choices, but when it comes to kids’ diets, the stakes feel even higher. Most parents do their best to provide their children with the most beneficial diet they can so they grow up healthy and happy. However, with so many temptations around, maintaining kids’ healthy eating habits can get quite challenging.
For this family, the source of temptation was the grandma, who, against the parents’ wishes, fed her grandchildren all types of junk food. After finding out what she did, they nicely asked her to stop, but she didn’t, and she had to face the consequences.
Scroll down to find the full story and conversation with certified registered dietitian nutritionist Maura Fowler, pediatric registered dietitian Danielle Zold, and pediatric dietitian Arielle Dani Lebovitz, who kindly agreed to talk with us more about feeding kids fast food.
RELATED:
With so many temptations around, it can be a challenge to maintain healthy children’s diet
Image credits: Getty Images / unsplash (not the actual photo)
For this family, the temptation was the grandma who fed the kids junk food against parents’ wishes and caused quite the drama
Image credits: Geonhee Lee / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Brock Wegner / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Khanh Nguyen / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: hronologos
Regular consumption of takeout or junk food can negatively impact children’s health
Image credits: Fellipe Ditadi / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Popping a frozen pizza for a quick dinner or having McDonald’s to celebrate an occasion once in a while won’t hurt anyone. However, it shouldn’t become an everyday thing.
“Nutrition plays a foundational role in a child’s growth, brain development, and motor skills. Occasional fast food is perfectly fine when balanced with an overall nutritious diet. In fact, allowing kids to enjoy these foods in moderation can help reduce the “forbidden fruit” effect that may drive overconsumption later. A healthy relationship with food includes flexibility and accessibility (not perfection),” explains registered dietitian Danielle Zold.
Sadly, the reality is that convenient and highly processed meals dominate the diets of American kids and teens. That’s because most adults around them aren’t concerned enough about their eating habits, doing them a huge disservice to their health and future. Since junk and fast food are full of fat and additives like sugar, salt, coloring, flavorings, and emulsifiers and lack beneficial nutrients, they can have quite a negative effect on children’s health.
“Working in a children’s hospital, I unfortunately see the onset of new diabetes cases often. If it’s not related to genetics, it’s often due to the diet they have. It can be tricky for parents when their child is picky to navigate, ensuring their child has a well-rounded diet, but it’s important that parents take steps to offer food therapy or continue offering foods that their children are against,” says certified registered dietitian nutritionist Maura Fowler.
“It’s also important to note that it may take up to 15 times for a child to accept a new food. If not, it could possibly lead their children to poor health outcomes in their future, such as diabetes, obesity, or heart disease.”
Grandparents are famously known to overindulge children
Image credits: Getty Images / unsplash (not the actual photo)
All of this isn’t to scare, but to say that children’s nutrition should be taken more seriously.
“Nutrition matters—but not in the rigid, all-or-nothing way many of us grew up with. What kids eat consistently over time matters more than any single food or meal. Fast food isn’t the villain. It’s the overall pattern of eating that shapes long-term health, not the occasional burger and fries,” explains pediatric dietitian Arielle Dani Lebovitz.
It’s clear that parents are the ones mainly responsible for their children’s nutrition, but they can’t always be there to ensure they eat healthily, especially when others are taking care of them. Grandparents, in particular, are famously known to overindulge children, which can be worrisome to some parents. And when grandparents disregard parental feeding practices, tension or conflict can arise.
In cases where this doesn’t happen too often, there’s really nothing to worry about. But if kids spend an extended amount of time with their grandparents, it can develop into a problem, one that is becoming more frequent as the caregiving role of grandparents is increasing.
“A treat here and there is ok, but if this child spends a lot of time with their grandparents, then a conversation would be ideal,” agrees Fowler.
Experts advise on how to approach the junk food talk with grandparents
Image credits: Annie Spratt / unsplash (not the actual photo)
“It’s really common for grandparents to show love through food—but when it’s done in secret, it can unintentionally undermine trust,” says Lebovitz. “I always encourage parents to lead with connection, not conflict. Start a conversation from shared values:
‘I know you love the kids so much and you want to make your time with them special. Can we keep food choices and communication open so the kids don’t feel the need to sneak or feel guilty? If you want to offer candy or take them to get fast food, let’s plan for it.'”
According to Lebovitz, approaching the tricky conversation this way keeps everyone on the same team. “Kids still get to enjoy, grandparents stay part of the fun, and parents can uphold their family food values while making sure kids’ nutrition needs are met—all while building body trust and keeping guilt off the plate.”
Other quick tips experts provide that can help set boundaries with overindulging grandparents include:
- Frame the conversation around shared care, not control.
- Use inclusive language like “Can we…” or “Let’s…” to avoid defensiveness.
- Focus on food positivity—the issue isn’t the dessert, it’s the secrecy.
- Offer some healthier types of treats to provide.
- Try setting a family guideline like “one treat per day,” and let grandparents be the ones to give it.
The mom provided more information in the comments
The readers were truly divided, with some saying she’s in the wrong here
While others thought she was too controlling
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What do you think ?
arthbach 6 months ago
"My house, my rules" is trumped each and every time by "My kids, my rules".
KatSaidWhat 6 months ago
It's not so much what they ate so much as MIL breaking the rules and asking the kids to keep it secret, for me. That second chance will last two weeks at most.
Weltschmerz 6 months ago
My MIL used to say to my daughter "what mummy doesn't know won't hurt her". I had a good long chat with my daughter about healthy eating and about not keeping secrets unless they're good ones! I was livid with my MIL.
Load More Replies...
Mark Alexander 6 months ago
Hubby needs to tell mummy "Yes. You raised me on McDonald's and it totally sucked. Don't fark up my kids' diet like you did mine."
Vinnie 6 months ago (edited)
It was shocking to read that the grandmother minded their pitbull and it came back 7 lbs heavier. Sounds like she doesn't give a cr@p about health. Given her refusal to compromise, she might think that overfeeding or misfeeding others is a way to buy love. I don't blame the OP for kicking the village idiot out of the proverbial village.
Mark Childers 6 months ago (edited)
My mother would have done this if either my sister or I had kids. And I have a cousin who raised her kid on fast food. I don't think she's ever cooked a meal in her life, and forget about her deadbeat husband. They're all morbidly obese with multiple health issues. And they're the pickiest eaters I've ever met. I refuse to eat with them. It seems that these are good, caring parents who want the best for their kids. They'll be old enough to do what they want too soon.
Sparkle 6 months ago
The junk food is the problem for mom but the bigger problem is making the kids lie. I've never seen the appeal of fast food. But when you are watching a kid don't mess with their diets. You have no clue why they are the way they are for example my niece can only have one to two piece of candy more than that she gets a stomach ache.
Anna Drever 6 months ago
Because we lived in the sticks our kids only got fast foods once in a blue moon. No foods were off limits it was just not a priority to eat cräp when we had other choices. Being miles away from the nearest McDonalds or Burger King helped. Now they’re all adults and in a healthy weight range and no food issues I’m aware of.
Beak Hookage 6 months ago
YTAs missing the point, as usual. It's not the junk food that was the dealbreaker; it was the LYING and general betrayal of trust. Lying about what you've been doing with someone else's kids while trying to get the kids to lie too is one of the biggest Lines You Do No Cross ever drawn.
Beth Wheeler 6 months ago
Their kids, their rules. Grandma is just being lazy like she was with her son and not cooking. My oldest was picky for a while. When we went on vacation if a restaurant didn't have chicken strips or nuggets and fries he wasn't happy. He would order a salad if there wasn't anything else he wanted. My kids have always loved veggies, seafood and salads.
Tonyah Mcanelly 6 months ago
I think they should come up with a compromise . Mcdonalds every once in a while as a treat is not a bad thing . I understand to parents concern about healthy eating habits . Hoewever I think her asking the kids to keep a secret from is over stepping bounderies.
Agat 6 months ago
I guess I'll get downvoted into oblivion but in my opinion children shouldn't eat junk food. At all. Until they are teenagers. No way would I ever let a child eat that. There's no reason, it's unhealthy, but highly addictive. Same with sugary cereal. Nope, nope, nope.
Traci Cobler 6 months ago
When I was younger, and my parents had very little money, I would get popcorn for dinner. My mom made it into an adventure so I never knew we were lacking. I understand you’re coming from a place of caring but, it reads a little pompous. I actually think both the OP is being very reasonable and outside of encouraging the kids to lie, the MIL thinks she’s being a good grandmother 😬 we’re better educated on health now!
Load More Replies...
Tiffany 6 months ago (edited)
Usually when kids grow up they do the opposite. You can't watch TV as a kid so they leave the TV on constantly when they're an adult. You can't put stuff on your walls, and as an adult the walls are covered with stuff. You can't have pets and as an adult they have 20. One of mine is Christmas trees are the devil, so now I have 2 to 3 up year around as an adult. You should probably find a balance with fast food. It's in our everyday society. Maybe make it a celebration once or twice a year as a "treat." Once every sèason for fun. Remember anything too extreme is unhealthy. As far as your MIL goes? Don't let the kids go over. Why should they if she can't listen and be respectful. She may feed them too much fast food.. and you don't feed them enough fast food. Lol
Bryn 6 months ago
"Nutrionally speaking, fast food offers nothing" Yeah, no lol. It's all about what you get. There are plenty of perfectly good options at fast food! And they have quite a bit of good things in them too. This is your hatred of fast food sneaking out.
Judes 6 months ago
Maybe have a little think about what a 6 year old would choose from the MacDonald's menu.
Load More Replies... 
Sebedie 6 months ago
Tell everyone that you're an entitled grandparent without telling everyone that you're an entitled grandparent.
Load More Replies... Emilu 6 months ago
I fully admit I am addícted to vodka and have problem there, but on cereal… ewwww.
Load More Replies... arthbach 6 months ago
"My house, my rules" is trumped each and every time by "My kids, my rules".
KatSaidWhat 6 months ago
It's not so much what they ate so much as MIL breaking the rules and asking the kids to keep it secret, for me. That second chance will last two weeks at most.
Weltschmerz 6 months ago
My MIL used to say to my daughter "what mummy doesn't know won't hurt her". I had a good long chat with my daughter about healthy eating and about not keeping secrets unless they're good ones! I was livid with my MIL.
Load More Replies... Mark Alexander 6 months ago
Hubby needs to tell mummy "Yes. You raised me on McDonald's and it totally sucked. Don't fark up my kids' diet like you did mine."
Vinnie 6 months ago (edited)
It was shocking to read that the grandmother minded their pitbull and it came back 7 lbs heavier. Sounds like she doesn't give a cr@p about health. Given her refusal to compromise, she might think that overfeeding or misfeeding others is a way to buy love. I don't blame the OP for kicking the village idiot out of the proverbial village.
Mark Childers 6 months ago (edited)
My mother would have done this if either my sister or I had kids. And I have a cousin who raised her kid on fast food. I don't think she's ever cooked a meal in her life, and forget about her deadbeat husband. They're all morbidly obese with multiple health issues. And they're the pickiest eaters I've ever met. I refuse to eat with them. It seems that these are good, caring parents who want the best for their kids. They'll be old enough to do what they want too soon.
Sparkle 6 months ago
The junk food is the problem for mom but the bigger problem is making the kids lie. I've never seen the appeal of fast food. But when you are watching a kid don't mess with their diets. You have no clue why they are the way they are for example my niece can only have one to two piece of candy more than that she gets a stomach ache.
Anna Drever 6 months ago
Because we lived in the sticks our kids only got fast foods once in a blue moon. No foods were off limits it was just not a priority to eat cräp when we had other choices. Being miles away from the nearest McDonalds or Burger King helped. Now they’re all adults and in a healthy weight range and no food issues I’m aware of.
Beak Hookage 6 months ago
YTAs missing the point, as usual. It's not the junk food that was the dealbreaker; it was the LYING and general betrayal of trust. Lying about what you've been doing with someone else's kids while trying to get the kids to lie too is one of the biggest Lines You Do No Cross ever drawn.
Beth Wheeler 6 months ago
Their kids, their rules. Grandma is just being lazy like she was with her son and not cooking. My oldest was picky for a while. When we went on vacation if a restaurant didn't have chicken strips or nuggets and fries he wasn't happy. He would order a salad if there wasn't anything else he wanted. My kids have always loved veggies, seafood and salads.
Tonyah Mcanelly 6 months ago
I think they should come up with a compromise . Mcdonalds every once in a while as a treat is not a bad thing . I understand to parents concern about healthy eating habits . Hoewever I think her asking the kids to keep a secret from is over stepping bounderies.
Agat 6 months ago
I guess I'll get downvoted into oblivion but in my opinion children shouldn't eat junk food. At all. Until they are teenagers. No way would I ever let a child eat that. There's no reason, it's unhealthy, but highly addictive. Same with sugary cereal. Nope, nope, nope.
Traci Cobler 6 months ago
When I was younger, and my parents had very little money, I would get popcorn for dinner. My mom made it into an adventure so I never knew we were lacking. I understand you’re coming from a place of caring but, it reads a little pompous. I actually think both the OP is being very reasonable and outside of encouraging the kids to lie, the MIL thinks she’s being a good grandmother 😬 we’re better educated on health now!
Load More Replies... Tiffany 6 months ago (edited)
Usually when kids grow up they do the opposite. You can't watch TV as a kid so they leave the TV on constantly when they're an adult. You can't put stuff on your walls, and as an adult the walls are covered with stuff. You can't have pets and as an adult they have 20. One of mine is Christmas trees are the devil, so now I have 2 to 3 up year around as an adult. You should probably find a balance with fast food. It's in our everyday society. Maybe make it a celebration once or twice a year as a "treat." Once every sèason for fun. Remember anything too extreme is unhealthy. As far as your MIL goes? Don't let the kids go over. Why should they if she can't listen and be respectful. She may feed them too much fast food.. and you don't feed them enough fast food. Lol
Bryn 6 months ago
"Nutrionally speaking, fast food offers nothing" Yeah, no lol. It's all about what you get. There are plenty of perfectly good options at fast food! And they have quite a bit of good things in them too. This is your hatred of fast food sneaking out.
Judes 6 months ago
Maybe have a little think about what a 6 year old would choose from the MacDonald's menu.
Load More Replies... Sebedie 6 months ago
Tell everyone that you're an entitled grandparent without telling everyone that you're an entitled grandparent.
Load More Replies... Emilu 6 months ago
I fully admit I am addícted to vodka and have problem there, but on cereal… ewwww.
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