Nobody’s an island—we need other people not only to survive but also to thrive. On top of that, loneliness and isolation have thoroughly negative impacts on our health. So it makes sense that we want and need active social lives and the respect of our peers. That’s why many people copy what others do in order to conform with the crowd and create relationships with others.
However, just because everyone’s doing something doesn’t mean that it’s right for you or even the ethically right thing to do. Reddit user u/avaspark started up an interesting conversation when they asked everyone to share the things that society normalizes, but that they absolutely refuse to do. Scroll down to see what these internet users had to say.
We reached out to the author of the thread, redditor u/avaspark, and they were kind enough to share their thoughts on the topic. You'll find Bored Panda's interview with them below.
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Influencers. I have a hard time articulating the depth of their collective uselesness.
According to the author of the thread, what made them ask the question on Reddit was how out of place they felt in society as a whole. "The thing that inspired me to create the thread was due to how much I feel left out from the society," they told Bored Panda.
The redditor explained their position that even though society has created a "way of living" that's commonly accepted by most people, there will always be some aspects of it that individuals refuse.
"So I began to think if there would be anybody who felt as much left out as I did," they said.
Going to work while sick. If I’m sick with something contagious I’m staying home period.
In the author's opinion, it's precisely because there are some individuals who don't conform to social norms that they're pressured to do so. The more they don't conform, the greater this pressure will probably be.
Meanwhile, Bored Panda was curious to get the OP's thoughts on marriage, something that they mentioned in their post they refuse to accept, even though it's normalized in society.
"From my perspective, some people frown on others who don't want to get married because of the differences in personal opinion and preferences. Some people might think marriage is beneficial, some might not," they said.
Going into debt for a wedding. I do like marriage even if the benefits are next to nothing these days but the normalization of a $20-$30k wedding in America is ridiculous. We just went to the court house and had a small party afterwards. No need to spend all that cash just to start your life together in debt
Hustle 26 hours a day, grind to be successful, etc.
I just wanna do my job I enjoy, come home for dinner, play with my dogs, listen to music and sleep.
YOU can be the billionaire. I'm good where I am brah.
"The numbers of opinion also play a part in this. The opinion with the majority of votes will influence what it is that the society defines as a norm/acceptable. Meanwhile, opinions with a minority of votes will be defined otherwise by society," u/avaspark said that it's this contradiction in opinions that will cause friction and judgment of people's choices.
"In addition, not every norm is acceptable and not everything acceptable is a norm. If anyone out there feel like they are missing out or being left out or not belong to the society, at least they know it's not a must," they said.
Social disconnection is as bad for your health as smoking 15 cigarettes per day, and many are now worried that there is an epidemic of loneliness in the United States. However, it’s not just people’s physical and mental health that suffers—this social isolation has economic impacts, too.
Worshipping people, I don't really get the concept of looking up at actors, politicians religious figures or "influencers", just feels wrong, and 99.9% of the times, this "figures" end up being s**t
What I don't get is why people like Andrew Tate are always in the trending. Like, he's a bad guy, let's not pay him attention, let's move on.
Filming and photographing everything I do or experience and putting it online for attention from family and strangers.
For example, Forbes points out that disconnection costs businesses $154 billion per year due to productivity loss. So there are both humanitarian and utilitarian reasons to encourage people to connect with others and develop deep, meaningful relationships.
However, it’s important to find balance in your connections with others. If you simply copy everything that your social circle does—from values and attitudes to style, body language, and life choices—you might feel like you’re losing your sense of self.
Religion/teaching my kids to be religious. I live in the Bible Belt so when I tell people I'm not religious nor plan to teach my children to be religious they always look at me like I told them I beat my kids with a metal bar.
Meanwhile, they probably beat their own kids just the same. Indoctrination just leads to mental health problems later in life, and anyway, kids naturally develop an aversion to anything pushed upon them against their will. If they will be religious, let it happen naturally. It is a personal choice, and your kids should not have to think and live exactly like you do. Leave them be.
Exactly. That’s how my family is. My mom wasn’t raised religious, and now can’t imagine her life without it. I was, and didn’t really accept it until a few years ago and now can’t imagine my life without it. My brother is too little to really know yet, and my dad was raised religious and isn’t anymore
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A lot of religion these days is all about the physical book and it being an excuse to be s****y. It's rare to find a religious person who thinks about the stories as metaphors, let alone about the spiritual tool they are supposed to be.
This. Ppl take it as historical facts 🤦♀️ when asked for proof they go "the bible" 🤦♀️
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This depends a lot on where you live but religion is never a simple matter. In the US bible belt, they may see atheists as ignorant people who are too stupid to accept big Jeepers as their Lord and saviour. In Northern Europe, we see religious people as fools who believe in fairy tales. I pity the fools.
@Adam Silvernail, Santa and God are different. Children do believe in fairytales, however they eventually gain the knowledge (hopefully) to be able to discern from stories and reality
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Did you know that I was raised in a cult? It`s called the catholic church
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They are the worst of all humans it's disgusting how evil hypocrites they are. Churches get away with so much pedophilia and the fuking idiots who go e them $$$$$$ and these cults don't pay property taxes!!!!! Pro birthers trash!!
There is a big case here in Poland right now involving a priest who was hosting orgies. He claims it's not a big deal, and media is blowing this out of proportion because he's a priest. It's kind of sad to see he doesn't see how and why he's in the wrong...
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I’m mildly religious at best, but attend church regularly because I love the community. It’s a chance to get an hour of peace every week and see people I wouldn’t see otherwise. I’ve told my daughters that I’ll never force them to go (and never have) and I want them to make up their own minds about what they believe, if anything.
If you wouldn't see them otherwise, that kinda says something about the people you go to see.
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Gods were never representations of the best of humanity. It's actually a fairly new concept. Just take a look at zeus and Apollo . Did I mention Poseidon had sex with horse or sheep ( can't remember) and somehow made a child with them?
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Use to have a really religious person live near by. When my daughter was born she asked if when we were getting her baptized. Me and my wife are not religious and said we were not. She was shocked and said "But how will God know her name." She looked even more shocked when I replied "If God is so powerful he should already know her name."
My parents forced their religion upon me, which made me believe in it even less... I'm only 13 so I cannot give the best parenting advice, but I'd say being open about both religion and atheism and letting your child choose which one suits them is the best way to go.
I just give them verses from the dark bible website and ask them which verse they agree with. I like this one: Deuteronomy 21:18-21 -problem child? just stone him to death.
This confident atheist is about sick and tired of the US being a theocratic oligarchy LYING about being a democracy. I'm finding it impossible to even find an atheist therapist. If I start having an imaginary friend I want my doctor to be able to deal with it.
Any religion that prevents kids from attending public school and thereby forcing them to home-school. Aside from being indoctrinated in some type of faith, these kids will not be properly socialized.
Religions go so over the top nowadays. Like being religious shouldn't automatically mean that you whole world revolves around it. And if you believe in something, that doesn't give you the right to shove it down other people's throats unprompted.
Unfortunately the hypocrites keep forcing everyone especially women against their will. They love more unwanted children dying and abuse etc... how much evil these Christians get away with , this country is disgusting for give so much power these maggots have
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All I can say, when "used" correctly, religion can be a wonderful thing. My Grandmother's belief in God got her thru the Great Depression, my Grandfather going to war in WW2 and all the stuff he put her thru afterwards.
I became anti religious back in 1978 because of this song... RELIGION II by PIL Stained glass windows keep the cold outside While the hypocrites hide inside With the lies of statues in their minds Where the Christian religion made them blind Where they hide And prey to the God of a b***h spelled backwards is dog Not for one race, one creed, one world But for money Effective Absurd Do you pray to the Holy Ghost when you suck your host Do you read who's dead in the Irish Post Do you give away the cash you can't afford On bended knees and pray to lord Fat pig priest Sanctimonious smiles He takes the money You take the lies This is religion and Jesus Christ This is religion cheaply priced This is bibles full of libel This is sin in eternal hymn This is what they've done This is your religion The apostles were eleven Now there's a sod in Heaven This is religion There's a liar on the altar The sermon never falter This is religion Your religion Catholic mother Protestant father..always argue
Proverbs 23:13 “Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish them with the rod, they will not die.” If they thought you were beating your child with a rod, they’d think that at least you’re on the right track. Good old Bible wisdom! 🥴
just a reminder that not all christians are bad, some are, I know, but a lot of christians I’ve n met are great people.
Like everywhere, there's good people and there's shítty people. Too bad it's the bad ones being louder than the good ones (call me naive, but I think there's more of the good ones, it's just they tend to stay in the shadows) and fsck it up for everyone.
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Thankfully more people are starting to realise that religion is nothing more than fiction based on fantasy.
Just the bible huh? Not the Torah, the Quran, or any other religious book? No, you hate Christians specifically.
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I have faith and I explain to my kids what I believe in, but I fully understand they will have their own faith/path/believes. I don't teach them to be religious, I teach them to be decent, honest, loyal, nice, kind. Basically what Jesus was teaching, not what people are preaching these days.
This. When we moved to the Deep South, the first question people asked was what church we went to.
As a Christian, I don't fully agree with this but completely understand and will support. I was raised in a Christian household, always went to Church and went to a Christian school. Children need to be taught critical thought first and physical truths - on more than one occasion I had to debate basic science with my teachers, like the existence of dinosaurs! Everyone should be taught about all faiths from a young age, but it shouldn't be pushed, and they should be allowed to believe whatever they want.
I absolutely hate how people always forget not all religions are Christian evangelicalism. And for the record, it’s not cool to evangelize for vaguely Christian atheism either, which a lot of people in these comments don’t seem to realize. Yes, American Christian fundamentalists are awful, but don’t blindly turn against religious minorities that are also targeted by them.
Religion is a cult that got too tied up in the military cult and the political cult. I have faith but am choosing something better to live and die for.
I used to have that exact same type of Bible! I'm an atheist I just thought it was cool and it had dead people's signatures (some were born in the late 1800s) but then I lost it and I'm honestly really sad
I wouldn't ever try and teach your kids to be religious but I have every right to practice my faith with my kids.
Feel free to lead yourself away from sin. Leave me alone.
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I think we're all pretty clear that the *most* hate-filled folks are the Westboro Baptist Church. I don't see any atheists out picketting soldiers' funerals with signs reading "The absence of god hates f*gs".
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That's not so much an unpopular opinion as it is a failure of vocabulary.
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Using punctuation and proper spelling on text messages or chat applications. I don't care if you don't do it, I will still write my text properly.
Edit: I meant to say, it is now normalized to NOT using punctuation and proper spelling.
I’m petty enough to refuse to answer people if they don’t use reasonable grammar and punctuation. I can understand trying to use abbreviations like lol and stuff, but the amount of run-on sentences and misspellings (their, they’re, there) drives me mad.
Sketched on eyebrows and bee sting lips... ugh.
I only hear half of what women with airbrushed eyebrows say. To me those things are even more distracting than spinach between teeth.
Being an individual with your own particular set of values, opinions, dreams, and ambitions is nothing to sneer at. It’s pleasant to be part of a collective and we strive for this. But at the same time, every human being is more than just the community they belong to.
You should live with the courage to stand up for what you truly believe in, instead of fearing that you might become an outcast if you go against the grain. You shouldn’t find yourself in a position where you shut off your critical thinking just because it’s easier to follow everyone else’s expectations.
Getting extremely long eyelashes or nails
Not against personal taste, but what I wanna know is how my long-nailed sisters text, wipe their bums and pick their nose. 😂 Seems impossible. Ouch.
Endless consumption
cheating/infidelity while in a monogamous relationship. Also social media.
I will never understand cheaters, unless the partner is abusive. How can you betray the one you love, your best friend? Totally alien concept to me.
As Psychology Today explains, conformity can be seen as negative when it’s done out of fear, or concern for a person’s social standing, or has dangerous consequences.
On the flip side, conformity is also what can help communities thrive and succeed because everyone’s on the same page in terms of rules and norms.
Crypto
Still thinking about the guy who asked if he could pay for his purchase at Home Depot in Bitcoin. Lord, I wish I'd had the wit at the time to say we don't accept Monopoly money.
Hating on the person your partner is cheating on you with. I see so many girls hate "the other girl" when yk, your bf/husband should care more about your relationship/marriage than some random girl they decided to f**k. Make it make sense.
Well, if the person knew that a married person was having an affair with them and they still let it happen, that is kind of s****y.
Hook up culture
To each their own, I guess, but personally I highly appreciate the security and closeness of monogamy.
Amazon. Jeff does not need more money. I go straight to the company sites.
I don't buy from here mostly because of either crappy quality, crappy working conditions, lack of union, or just don't need to sponsor giant clocks in mountains nor huge space penis.
Working over 40+ hours in a week without getting paid for it. F**k that….
That's called wage theft and the Department of Labor is waiting for your call so you can get back OT wages in a lump sum check.
Wearing makeup to work, I used to because I felt like I had to. The transition got me comments that I look tired and/or sick, but now I throw on mascara only when I want to 😊 I'm not good at make up and am lazy so I'm glad that women aren't expected to as much anymore 👍
On one morning preparing for work, I remember thinking, "Oh, my under eyes are dark again. I look tired, I should use more concealer." And it hit me. I AM tired. I am working six days a week and I do not get enough sleep and I AM TIRED! Who am I hiding it from? My co-workers who are in the same condition? My boss who should know that we are not getting enough rest?! I started putting on less make up from then on, especially in the eye area. If I am tired and it shows, it shows! I don't have an obligation of pretending I am well and energetic and all chipper when I am not. Live with it.
The death of privacy
It depends. It is a lot safer if cameras are in public places like parking garages and used to catch criminals, rapists, et cetera. Obviously, there needs to be a balance.
Call the drinks at Starbucks anything other than small, medium, or large.
Monetize all my hobbies and produce "content" for social media.
I find a ot of sewing and craft Reels very helpful. We love to share, and the money probably just helps support hobbies.
Normalizing obesity
People are enormously cruel to overweight people and it's just unnecessary. The number of people I've talked to who think bullying overweight people is "good for them" because it'll motivate them to lose weight... JFC. I totally understand why there's a body positivity movement. I don't think it's normalizing obesity; I think it's saying people deserve love and respect regardless of their weight.
Replying all to work emails just to say congratulations to someone.
Vaping - it’s so disgusting 🤮
Cigarettes are more disgusting, vaping helped me stop. Now I need to stop vaping.
Social media. I'm on reddit, but I don't see that as social media, it's more an online forum.
I'm tired of so many people trying to normalize teens dressing like grown women
Going out in pyjamas.
This shouldn't really bother people. I used to be like, "oh, now they dress like slobs and in the 50s I would have put on my pearls just to serve my family dinner" but in the end, I realized it's their choice and they are not hurting anyone by going out in pajamas. We should leave them be.
Consumer debt. Don't care if it's electronics, vehicles, or anything else - if I don't have the money to buy it outright, I won't buy it.
Edit: to exclude a mortgage
Edit 2: the comments have been interesting to see the 2 different schools of thought on the matter.
1 hand is the people who take a similar approach and mention how much of a relief it is to not have debt and the freedom it awards.
On the other is people telling me how I'm missing out, foolish, "good luck getting a loan" (which is funny because that's the whole point is to *not* get one), or how I must be privileged because I don't have debt (even though I have a very modest income, I just choose to approach purchases differently and delay them so i can and pay myself the interest over several years to pay cash at the time of purchase vs getting that item now and paying someone else later).
It definitely takes a different mindset than society pushes and a lot of financial discipline to maintain that lifestyle, but to me it's worth it. I don't have to stress over small hiccups life throws at me because I'm not burdened by monthly payments.
Again, you do you. But no loan for car? I can get electronics and unessesary luxury items. But to have a car is often a means to get to work?
Ghosting
Sometimes needed? Say a women experiences many red flags from "nice guy" and realised ge will not stop the nagging or worse. Block and go on with something healthy.
Using AI
For practical things, I get it. But my sisters and I have a rollicking good time putting in complicated prompts and getting the wildest pictures. AI can be a very fun toy.
Food delivery services. Unless im too wasted to drive ill pick it up myself thanks
Working 5x8h. Do I remotely earn enough? I really don’t. Would I be happier with more work + money? No way in hell!
Definitely. I would rather be poorer and still be able to relax and enjoy life. What is the point of money when you can't even stop to appreciate what it buys for you?
Not being forthcoming on the prenup part of Marriage.
If I ever get married I am going to be honest and straightforward with doing a prenup way early before any marriage proposals will be made.
Even if I am much more poorer than my SO.
Note: this post originally had 44 images. It’s been shortened to the top 40 images based on user votes.
This whole article isn't about societal "norms". It's maybe about several problems that exist in society, but I've seen a lot of things that are far from the norm. Child pageants anyone?
The Christian hypocrite pedophiles won't allow that they need their child pageants the disgusting old Christian men to enjoy. And the dumb bitches allow their husbands to list after little girls. Stupid rednecks trash
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Is this sarcasm by any chance, cause you do a good job at it if it is sarcasm :)
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I think praying may give spiritual easiness to some people BUT praying instead of doing something about your problems, nope.
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Normal? Seem to me to be a bunch of first world problems.... But what would I know, I'm an antisocial freak.... So very few of these have any relevance to me....
"Live and let live" should be #1 on the list by a long shot. So many people upset by total strangers they'll never meet doing or being things without their express permission...
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I mean the site is called Bored Panda...what are you looking for?
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I couldn't finish this list so much of it doesn't effect anything so y care
kids being expected to care for their parents in old age. you do not owe your parents your home or money for their retirement. they wanted you, they had you, they raised you. the end. their reward is seeing you become a fully functioning adult, not being their live in caregiver
So you actively provide financial support for people and causes you don't agree with. How noble.
Load More Replies... This whole article isn't about societal "norms". It's maybe about several problems that exist in society, but I've seen a lot of things that are far from the norm. Child pageants anyone?
The Christian hypocrite pedophiles won't allow that they need their child pageants the disgusting old Christian men to enjoy. And the dumb bitches allow their husbands to list after little girls. Stupid rednecks trash
Load More Replies... Is this sarcasm by any chance, cause you do a good job at it if it is sarcasm :)
Load More Replies... I think praying may give spiritual easiness to some people BUT praying instead of doing something about your problems, nope.
Load More Replies... Normal? Seem to me to be a bunch of first world problems.... But what would I know, I'm an antisocial freak.... So very few of these have any relevance to me....
"Live and let live" should be #1 on the list by a long shot. So many people upset by total strangers they'll never meet doing or being things without their express permission...
Load More Replies... I mean the site is called Bored Panda...what are you looking for?
Load More Replies... I couldn't finish this list so much of it doesn't effect anything so y care
kids being expected to care for their parents in old age. you do not owe your parents your home or money for their retirement. they wanted you, they had you, they raised you. the end. their reward is seeing you become a fully functioning adult, not being their live in caregiver
So you actively provide financial support for people and causes you don't agree with. How noble.
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