New Homeowners Refuse To Get Rid Of The Pool Their Neighbor’s Kid Drowned In, Ask If They’re Being Insensitive
Losing a child is one of the worst things that can happen to anyone in their lives. The grieving process may take years and, in the end, you might never move on from the trauma. However, the harsh reality is that the world does not stop turning for anyone. Not for you. Not for us. Not for anyone. Life… moves on. And not everyone will be willing to accommodate your grief.
Redditor u/thepoolwhere turned to the AITA online community with a sensitive question. They and their family bought a new house with a pool. It turned out that one of the neighbor’s kids had, sadly, lost their life in that very same pool. You’ll find the full story below. Be aware that the topic ahead is a very sensitive one and some of you might feel uncomfortable reading it.
The loss of a loved one is a traumatic experience that will affect every aspect of your life
Image credits: luisviegas (not the actual photo)
A family moved into a new home, but their neighbors were against their kids swimming in the pool because of what happened in the past
Image credits: arturoeg (not the actual photo)
The author of the post shared some more information
Image credits: thepoolwhere
Pools are incredibly dangerous if kids are left unsupervised
In the United States, there are over 4,000 fatal unintentional drownings, including boating-related drowning, as well as 8,000 non-fatal drownings, according to the CDC. More children ages 1 through 4 die from drowning than any other cause of death. Meanwhile, for children ages 5 to 14, drowning is the second leading cause of unintentional injury or death, after car accidents. Non-fatal drowning can lead to brain damage and long-term disability. Most small children who drown lose their lives in swimming pools.
The CDC states that 80% of the people who die from drowning are male due to “increased exposure to water, risk-taking behaviors, and alcohol use.” What’s more, people who can’t swim or are weak swimmers have an increased chance of injury or death in bodies of water. One way to counter this is by attending formal swimming lessons.
Another factor that contributes to death by drowning is the lack of effective fences around pools and bodies of water. Better fences help protect the neighborhood’s kids. Something else that helps prevent drowning is better supervision from adults.
The family was thinking about practicality when looking at buying the house, first and foremost
Image credits: luisviegas (not the actual photo)
Unfortunately, the redditor’s account got suspended, so Bored Panda was unable to reach out to them and speak about what happened with the pool and the neighbors. The situation that they described on the AITA subreddit is one without any clear-cut answers: everything’s incredibly emotionally charged, and whatever you decide to do (use the pool or pay to have it filled in), someone will end up getting the short end of the stick.
The neighbor who lost his child at a pool party felt that it was insensitive of the family who had just moved there to use the very same pool for having fun. Some of the other people living in the local area thought the same thing. From their side, the situation is clear: the pool shouldn’t be used because of the traumatic incident.
On the other side of the fence, you have the family who was very practical about buying the house with the pool. “Normally it would have been out of our price range, but this one was a great deal. The reason why was because one of the neighbor’s children had drowned in the pool last summer,” the OP wrote.
“I know it’s really morbid, but my husband and I discussed it and we decided we could look past it. I mean we could never otherwise afford anything like it. It was big enough that all our kids could finally have their own bedrooms,” they explained their reasoning. They were focused on their financial matters, not the emotionally charged situation in the neighborhood.
For them, using the pool meant using the full extent of their property, which they had purchased with their hard-earned money. They weren’t being flippant about the child drowning in the pool. However, they weren’t planning on sacrificing their family’s welfare just to tiptoe around their new neighbors.
How someone grieves will depend on who they are as a person
Image credits: Karolina Grabowska (not the actual photo)
Everyone grieves differently. For some, it might mean crying a lot. For others, the tears simply won’t come. It would be wrong to assume that everyone has the same process of dealing with the loss of a loved one.
There isn’t a limit to how long a person grieves. Usually, the grief diminishes over time, however, not everyone fully ‘recovers’ from the loss of a relative or a child. These people may simply learn to live with their sadness and grief.
Supporting someone who is going through such a tragedy is vital. Ask them how they are, allow them to speak, but don’t assume that you know what they need. Everyone needs different things and what might work for someone might be wrong for others. Some might need a kind word, a casserole, and a hug, others might need space, silence, and distractions. Reaching out to a therapist can help move forward.
The author also answered a few questions that some of the readers had
Most internet users thought that the family that just moved in did nothing wrong
Meanwhile, some others thought that nobody was to blame. It was a horrible situation for everyone
However traumatic it is for the neighbours, they bought the house with a pool and the children enjoy swimming. Every parent's (and aunties) nightmare is losing a child and I feel sorry for the neighbours but they can't expect the new owners to get rid of the pool. The neighbours need therapy and healing. That's not up to the new owners tho.
Yeah, I mean - if a house is older than fifty years or so, chances are that someone has died in it at some point. People have died everywhere, we have burial grounds specifically because the living world can’t come to a screeching halt because of it. Neighbours are being very, very self-centred here I’d have to say; understandable, potentially, but not really defendable and certainly not reasonable.
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I don‘t know if this is something related to the current times or just something US related (no judgement, I just only ever see such stories from the US). Anyway, it baffels me how many of these stories go like „am I wrong to just mind my own business and not change my life to sccomodate the fragile ego/ feelings of others totally unconnected to me“. I‘ve lost a child too but I would never go around banning others from having children or whatever just to spare MY feelings. It‘s MY responsibility to not burden others with my grief, NOT the other way around! Those neighbours could have asked nicely if the new house owners can maybe try to not be too loud or if possible wait just one year, as the loss is still so fresh or something. The key is politeness.
I'm so sorry to hear you lost a child. Sincerely, you really do have my sympathy.
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Why is everyone overlooking the fact that the previous owners had the pool removed, with financial assistance from all the neighbours who are now sticking their noses in? Oh that’s right. Because it never happened.
they only got rid of the neighbors lol tbh the parents that lost their kid should be the ones moving somewhere else
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However traumatic it is for the neighbours, they bought the house with a pool and the children enjoy swimming. Every parent's (and aunties) nightmare is losing a child and I feel sorry for the neighbours but they can't expect the new owners to get rid of the pool. The neighbours need therapy and healing. That's not up to the new owners tho.
Yeah, I mean - if a house is older than fifty years or so, chances are that someone has died in it at some point. People have died everywhere, we have burial grounds specifically because the living world can’t come to a screeching halt because of it. Neighbours are being very, very self-centred here I’d have to say; understandable, potentially, but not really defendable and certainly not reasonable.
Load More Replies... I don‘t know if this is something related to the current times or just something US related (no judgement, I just only ever see such stories from the US). Anyway, it baffels me how many of these stories go like „am I wrong to just mind my own business and not change my life to sccomodate the fragile ego/ feelings of others totally unconnected to me“. I‘ve lost a child too but I would never go around banning others from having children or whatever just to spare MY feelings. It‘s MY responsibility to not burden others with my grief, NOT the other way around! Those neighbours could have asked nicely if the new house owners can maybe try to not be too loud or if possible wait just one year, as the loss is still so fresh or something. The key is politeness.
I'm so sorry to hear you lost a child. Sincerely, you really do have my sympathy.
Load More Replies... Why is everyone overlooking the fact that the previous owners had the pool removed, with financial assistance from all the neighbours who are now sticking their noses in? Oh that’s right. Because it never happened.
they only got rid of the neighbors lol tbh the parents that lost their kid should be the ones moving somewhere else
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