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“My Wife, My Abuser” Documentary Shows Decades Of Abuse In Devastating Footage
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“My Wife, My Abuser” Documentary Shows Decades Of Abuse In Devastating Footage

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Trigger warning: domestic violence, physical abuse, emotional abuse.

Richard Spencer, a man from Bubwith, East Yorkshire, England, shared his devastating story of suffering abuse at the hands of his wife for 20 years in a new Channel 5 documentary.

Titled “My Wife My Abuser: The Secret Footage,” the program left viewers in tears when it aired on Monday (March 18).

Highlights
  • Richard Spencer opened up about being abused by his wife for 20 years in a new Channel 5 documentary.
  • Richard, who suffered physical and psychological violence at the hands of Sheree, felt "trapped" by the situation.
  • Video evidence of the assault eventually led to Sheree's imprisonment in March 2023.

During a series of interviews, the 47-year-old man got upset as he recalled the “most demoralizing thing” that happened to him while living with his ex-partner, Sheree.

“I was sitting on the bedroom floor because Sheree wouldn’t let me sit on the bed. 

“She got up to go to the toilet, and I was facing where the bathroom was; the next minute, I just realized that she defecated on my head.”

Image credits: Channel 5

Following the revelation, an audio clip from the incident played in which the victim could be heard saying, “I don’t deserve it.”

“You do deserve it. Go and scrub away you c*** and clean my s*** up,” Sheree replied, as per The Mirror.

The couple, who first met in a club in 2000, had installed a nanny cam in 2015 following the birth of their eldest daughter.

Hidden camera footage shows further distressing instances of abuse. In one video, viewers can see Sheree spitting at Richard and grabbing him by the throat.

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Richard also required stitches after an incident where she hit him on the back of the head with a wine glass, permanently disfiguring one of his ears.

“She used repeated acts of physical assault, threats, verbal abuse, and humiliation to punish and exercise control over me,” the victim said

Image credits: Channel 5

To document the abuse, he handed 43 photographs of injuries, 36 video clips, and 9 mobile recordings over to the police. A friend of his convinced him to do so after noting a bruise on Richard’s body.

Richard started secretly recording the abuse because he felt like it would serve as “insurance” in the future in case Sheree tried to prevent him from seeing their three children.

Throughout their marriage, she repeatedly threatened to tell the police that she was the one being abused, even screaming, “Stop it, stop it, Richard, you’re hurting me,” hoping their neighbors would believe her lies.

Whenever he tried to defend himself, Sheree would threaten to hurt herself so she could tell a friend or neighbor that Richard had caused the injury.

During a point in the interview, the father-of-three recalled Sheree telling him, “And once I’ve done that, I can get a restraining order against you, so you never see your baby.”

Richard required stitches after an incident where Sheree hit him on the back of the head with a wine glass

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Image credits: Channel 5

In March 2023, Sheree got a four-year prison sentence at Hull Crown Court after she admitted to controlling and coercive behavior and three assaults causing actual bodily harm, according to Express UK.

Judge Kate Rayfield reportedly told the court this was “the worst case of controlling and coercive behavior” she had ever seen.

“I felt so trapped for lots of reasons. If it had not been for my friend, I’m not sure what would have happened,” Richard told The Sun.

“I have become resigned to the fact that I will never fully recover from her abuse and that it will have a permanent damaging impact on mine and my family’s life,” he explained.

“Sheree’s abuse towards me evolved and escalated over time; she used repeated acts of physical assault, threats, verbal abuse, and humiliation to punish and exercise control over me.

“The abuse was hidden from the outside world, including friends and family.

“Sheree manipulated me into believing that I was a responsible and willing participant in the abuse.

“She remorselessly proclaimed that I deserved to be punished and that it was a justifiable consequence of me disappointing her in some way.”

Sheree was sentenced to four years in jail in March 2023

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Image credits: Channel 5

Channel 5 viewers reacted to the cruel footage, taking to social media to express their support for Richard.

“I hope that after this has aired on TV, any MAN who suffers any sort of domestic violence doesn’t feel ashamed or alone to speak out. I hope it helps others come forward,” someone wrote. “YOU matter, and how you are treated matters #Mywifemyabuser.”

“This poor, poor man. There must be many men out there suffering. I hope they come forward. #MyWifeMyAbuser,” another person said.

A separate viewer wrote, “This is horrific viewing. 20 years of this man’s life down the drain at the hands of the vilest woman #mywifemyabuser.”

“It’s crazy to think if she actually said it was him and he hadn’t gotten his own evidence. She’d probably have gotten away with this. Breaking my heart #mywifemyabuser,” somebody else theorized.

Watch the trailer for the documentary below

“Heartbreaking. He is a survivor and stronger than he thinks. So glad he got away. I hope it makes more men speak out,” another social media user expressed.

“This was the saddest thing watching what you went through. She was pure evil, and you didn’t deserve what she did to you,” a separate person added.

Richard now helps the Mankind Initiative charity, which supports men who have survived domestic abuse.

His goal is that his documentary will inspire more victims to step forward with their stories and seek justice.

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“I truly hope he is able to heal and enjoy his life and children,” a viewer expressed

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davidh_1 avatar
David
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People forget 40% of Abuse victims in hetero relationships are men, and in many cases they are not beleived, or the abuser does what this woman threatened and claim to be the victim knowing society will believe a woman over a man on this. This is a positive in shedding light on an important issue

joannalikesyou avatar
J
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I couldn’t agree more. My mom was abusive and it took me a full decade of No Contact to understand that my stepdad was a victim too, as was my dad before that. The Amber Heard trial was triggering for me because she’s exactly like my mother. Abuse isn’t about gender, it’s about dynamics.

Load More Replies...
jameskramer avatar
James016
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Saw a tv show where a man was detailing the abuse his gf was dishing out. It got the point where he was going to jump off their balcony. Some of the audience started giggling. The presenter tore them a new one asking if they would be laughing if the victim was a woman.

silverskycloud avatar
SilverSkyCloud
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

jeremy kyle i think it was called, i was hoping the reaction was staged for shock purposes but considering the amount of times ive read women posting messages on articles like these saying that women cant abuse men i wouldnt be surprised if it was real

Load More Replies...
shan-ghassan avatar
Rostit.. .
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Been there. Finally when my ex drew bruises on her arms with makeup and then went to a party and tried to tell people I was beating her. They belived her until the bruises started running from her sweat. I literally left at 2am that night and flew out of that nightmare.

pugpug avatar
swarren07 avatar
ShellsBells
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There was a case jn the US where the husband was getting beaten daily by his wife, in front of their child. One day she started beating him with a baseball bat. He had a gun wedged into the seat of either a recliner or couch and shot her. He was arrested for murder. Thankfully, the entire house had security cameras, and all the beatings were recored. Unfortunately, they proceeded with his charges, saying he was the abuser. In the end, it was proven justified self defense, but he had a lengthy court battle. I guess some, even the law, have blinders to the fact than men can be abused as well.

ajeichmeyer08 avatar
mr-garyscott avatar
El Dee
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

For many years abuse on men was normalised. We'd ask what HE'S done to deserve it rather than blame HER for doing it. It's like we were blinkered (I was just as guilty) I've never been victim or aggressor in physical abuse but I know many who have done both. It's amazing that we even have to SAY that this is wrong, it should be obvious but sadly not. Very brave of him to allow this to go on TV. Brave coming forward too. I really hope this gets a message across to those who are victims and to those who are aggressors too. The sentence was VERY light though..

laurencaswell4 avatar
Lauren Caswell
Community Member
1 month ago

This comment has been deleted.

Load More Replies...
marneederider40 avatar
Marnie
Community Member
1 month ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had a friend long ago whose girlfriend was abusive. Finally she purposefully HIT HIM WITH HER CAR. She wasn't going very fast. It left two very large bruises (thankfully nothing broken), but he had quite dark brown skin, and when he asked the doctor about reporting it and taking photos, the doctor said that his skin was so dark, photos wouldn't capture it. He never reported it. It made me sick. I'm sure there is some kind of scan that would prove he had bruises. They need to train doctors to use whatever they can to help document abuse on people with dark skin.

denisemelek_toygar avatar
Denise Melek
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What makes me feel even worse about that is all the baby stuff around. Wonder, what she would have done to the kid..

silverskycloud avatar
SilverSkyCloud
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

same at least he had the capability of going to someone or just punch her lights out but how would a baby defend itself?

Load More Replies...
t_d_z avatar
Tarik Dursun Zorgulen
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I bet after prison they will give the custody of the children to her as well. Also asking the poor guy to pay alimony and child support. I've lost my children to an abusive ex. Justice system usually don't even listen to men and assume they are the problem. If I call the police, they won't do anything. If a woman calls, they will arrest you on the spot, without even checking for facts.

bogdanchelariu avatar
BROmanicus85
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

4 years, for 20 years of a.buse and a lifetime of pain and trauma... Does that seem fair?!?!?! That poor man would never again be able to trust another woman and build the relationship and family he so much deserves...... And she got 4 years, will be out in 2 and a half, and back at it again with another person.................

arianahale avatar
AspieGirl88
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’ve seen the show & it’s truly heartbreaking, especially how his children acted like everything was normal, even whilst this woman was beating him around the head & screaming slurs at him. That’s not a healthy or safe environment for those little girls & the fact that he chose not to hit her back, all because he wanted to protect his sweet girls from that woman’s violence … it’s so unbelievably sad. In the end, when it went to trial, everyone was on his side & this foul manipulative creature had no one supporting her. I think she deserved more than 4 years, though, considering how she tortured him for 20 years & had him terrified to so much as look at her! 🫢💔

alphonse_l_constant avatar
Alphonse Louis
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I just read all those women writing kudos for his braveness and secretly thinking they would never date such a p*ssy of a man...

sarahjames avatar
Sarah James
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't want to minimise what this man and other men go through, but if domestic violence is only getting a light shone on it because men are going through it, I fricken give up. In my country, women are more likely to be killed at the hands of their partner than by anyone else. Indeed over 1 woman a week dies a the hand of a partner. We need to stop familial violence, period. But we also need to stop this rhetoric of "people only ever believe the women", and only noticing familial violence because women are the (minority) of the perpetrators. We've been crying out for decades for an end to domestic violence, but it only gets highlighted when men are the victims. Enough is enough. How many women have to die at the hands of their partners before people get outraged like this?

htodaizzle avatar
h to da izzle
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

just by saying "I don't want to minimise what this man and other men go through, but..." you are already minimizing and by pointing out that womens are more likely to be abused/killed by their male partners you are dilluting the issue. this post is not about women being abused/killed. its about this guy that got abused. its not about women in general. Its like i would say gay lives matter and you say all lives matter, its not about everybody its about gay people. Don't get me wrong, i think abuse is horrible no matter which gender is the abuser.

Load More Replies...
wmdkitty avatar
Shawna Burt
Community Member
1 month ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Wow. Biggest DARVO from an abusive man I've ever seen.

missal_warrior_0c avatar
davidh_1 avatar
David
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People forget 40% of Abuse victims in hetero relationships are men, and in many cases they are not beleived, or the abuser does what this woman threatened and claim to be the victim knowing society will believe a woman over a man on this. This is a positive in shedding light on an important issue

joannalikesyou avatar
J
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I couldn’t agree more. My mom was abusive and it took me a full decade of No Contact to understand that my stepdad was a victim too, as was my dad before that. The Amber Heard trial was triggering for me because she’s exactly like my mother. Abuse isn’t about gender, it’s about dynamics.

Load More Replies...
jameskramer avatar
James016
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Saw a tv show where a man was detailing the abuse his gf was dishing out. It got the point where he was going to jump off their balcony. Some of the audience started giggling. The presenter tore them a new one asking if they would be laughing if the victim was a woman.

silverskycloud avatar
SilverSkyCloud
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

jeremy kyle i think it was called, i was hoping the reaction was staged for shock purposes but considering the amount of times ive read women posting messages on articles like these saying that women cant abuse men i wouldnt be surprised if it was real

Load More Replies...
shan-ghassan avatar
Rostit.. .
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Been there. Finally when my ex drew bruises on her arms with makeup and then went to a party and tried to tell people I was beating her. They belived her until the bruises started running from her sweat. I literally left at 2am that night and flew out of that nightmare.

pugpug avatar
swarren07 avatar
ShellsBells
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There was a case jn the US where the husband was getting beaten daily by his wife, in front of their child. One day she started beating him with a baseball bat. He had a gun wedged into the seat of either a recliner or couch and shot her. He was arrested for murder. Thankfully, the entire house had security cameras, and all the beatings were recored. Unfortunately, they proceeded with his charges, saying he was the abuser. In the end, it was proven justified self defense, but he had a lengthy court battle. I guess some, even the law, have blinders to the fact than men can be abused as well.

ajeichmeyer08 avatar
mr-garyscott avatar
El Dee
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

For many years abuse on men was normalised. We'd ask what HE'S done to deserve it rather than blame HER for doing it. It's like we were blinkered (I was just as guilty) I've never been victim or aggressor in physical abuse but I know many who have done both. It's amazing that we even have to SAY that this is wrong, it should be obvious but sadly not. Very brave of him to allow this to go on TV. Brave coming forward too. I really hope this gets a message across to those who are victims and to those who are aggressors too. The sentence was VERY light though..

laurencaswell4 avatar
Lauren Caswell
Community Member
1 month ago

This comment has been deleted.

Load More Replies...
marneederider40 avatar
Marnie
Community Member
1 month ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had a friend long ago whose girlfriend was abusive. Finally she purposefully HIT HIM WITH HER CAR. She wasn't going very fast. It left two very large bruises (thankfully nothing broken), but he had quite dark brown skin, and when he asked the doctor about reporting it and taking photos, the doctor said that his skin was so dark, photos wouldn't capture it. He never reported it. It made me sick. I'm sure there is some kind of scan that would prove he had bruises. They need to train doctors to use whatever they can to help document abuse on people with dark skin.

denisemelek_toygar avatar
Denise Melek
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What makes me feel even worse about that is all the baby stuff around. Wonder, what she would have done to the kid..

silverskycloud avatar
SilverSkyCloud
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

same at least he had the capability of going to someone or just punch her lights out but how would a baby defend itself?

Load More Replies...
t_d_z avatar
Tarik Dursun Zorgulen
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I bet after prison they will give the custody of the children to her as well. Also asking the poor guy to pay alimony and child support. I've lost my children to an abusive ex. Justice system usually don't even listen to men and assume they are the problem. If I call the police, they won't do anything. If a woman calls, they will arrest you on the spot, without even checking for facts.

bogdanchelariu avatar
BROmanicus85
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

4 years, for 20 years of a.buse and a lifetime of pain and trauma... Does that seem fair?!?!?! That poor man would never again be able to trust another woman and build the relationship and family he so much deserves...... And she got 4 years, will be out in 2 and a half, and back at it again with another person.................

arianahale avatar
AspieGirl88
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’ve seen the show & it’s truly heartbreaking, especially how his children acted like everything was normal, even whilst this woman was beating him around the head & screaming slurs at him. That’s not a healthy or safe environment for those little girls & the fact that he chose not to hit her back, all because he wanted to protect his sweet girls from that woman’s violence … it’s so unbelievably sad. In the end, when it went to trial, everyone was on his side & this foul manipulative creature had no one supporting her. I think she deserved more than 4 years, though, considering how she tortured him for 20 years & had him terrified to so much as look at her! 🫢💔

alphonse_l_constant avatar
Alphonse Louis
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I just read all those women writing kudos for his braveness and secretly thinking they would never date such a p*ssy of a man...

sarahjames avatar
Sarah James
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't want to minimise what this man and other men go through, but if domestic violence is only getting a light shone on it because men are going through it, I fricken give up. In my country, women are more likely to be killed at the hands of their partner than by anyone else. Indeed over 1 woman a week dies a the hand of a partner. We need to stop familial violence, period. But we also need to stop this rhetoric of "people only ever believe the women", and only noticing familial violence because women are the (minority) of the perpetrators. We've been crying out for decades for an end to domestic violence, but it only gets highlighted when men are the victims. Enough is enough. How many women have to die at the hands of their partners before people get outraged like this?

htodaizzle avatar
h to da izzle
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

just by saying "I don't want to minimise what this man and other men go through, but..." you are already minimizing and by pointing out that womens are more likely to be abused/killed by their male partners you are dilluting the issue. this post is not about women being abused/killed. its about this guy that got abused. its not about women in general. Its like i would say gay lives matter and you say all lives matter, its not about everybody its about gay people. Don't get me wrong, i think abuse is horrible no matter which gender is the abuser.

Load More Replies...
wmdkitty avatar
Shawna Burt
Community Member
1 month ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Wow. Biggest DARVO from an abusive man I've ever seen.

missal_warrior_0c avatar
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