Flip through any women’s magazine and you can find a multitude of articles on how to ‘spice up’ your relationship, ‘please your partner,’ or even get into a relationship – but what is less common is reading about how to get out of a relationship. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, “On average, nearly 20 people per minute are physically abused by an intimate partner in the United States. During one year, this equates to more than 10 million women and men.”
Abusive behavior can begin with signs such as name-calling, threats, possessiveness, or distrust and gradually grow into physical violence. These situations can be difficult and life-threatening to get out of, so one woman posted some advice online.
Image credits: iStock / SolStock (not the actual photo)
On Facebook, one user ‘Maddie’ shared a step-by-step guide for anyone who had questions on if and how they should leave their abusive partner. The safety plan was broken down into sections such as finances, possessions, housing, family and work. In the plan, it focused on how to go off the grid, as 60.8% of female stalking victims in the U.S reported being stalked by a current or former intimate partner.
A Facebook user by the name of ‘Maddie’ wrote step-by-step instructions on how to leave an abusive partner and start over with financial, work, and housing advice
Domestic abuse appears in many forms and abusers may try to convince the person they are abusing that their behavior is coming from a place of love. Before physical abuse occurs or during it is important to be aware of the signs. According to NCADV abusive tendencies can include the following:
Isolating the victim financially by taking their money or refusing to give them money for their expenses. Controlling how all of the money in the household is spent. Interferring in the victims work life by preventing them from going to work, harassing them at their workplace or keeping them up all night so they perform badly.
Another sign is negatively affecting their relationships with other people, including friends and family. They might discourage the victim from seeing their friends and family members, tell them they are a bad parent and threaten to take away or hurt their children. If they do allow the victim to spend time with other’s they might display signs of jealousy and dictate who and when you can see others.
Chiping away at self-esteem is another technique abusers use to control their victims. This can include shaming or embarassing them with put-downs, dictating their physical appearance, and telling them they can never do anything right.
Physical abuse can harm a person’s health in more than one way. Abusers may force their partner to have sex with others, sabotage their birth control or refuse to use protection, pressure them to use drugs or alcohol or forcing them to have sex with the abuser when they don’t want to. Almost half of female (46.7%) and male (44.9%) victims of rape in the United States were raped by an acquaintance. Of these, 45.4% of female rape victims and 29% of male rape victims were raped by an intimate partner.11