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Woman Accidentally Discovers Her Husband Has Been Living A Double Life For The Past 17 Years
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Woman Accidentally Discovers Her Husband Has Been Living A Double Life For The Past 17 Years

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Attitudes towards marriage and divorce are changing, but it seems like most people agree that the ideal is still to form an enduring, long-term relationship with someone built on love and trust. For one woman, however, all of that was taken away from her recently in a story of shocking betrayal by her husband of 25 years.

We can only hope that baring all to strangers online brings her some sort of emotional catharsis, as we can only imagine how painful such a betrayal must have been. It’s also worth reading the comments posted in response, which offer both emotional support and useful advice.

The longer we’ve known and loved someone before, the more completely their betrayal can knock us off our feet

Image credits: amenic181 (not the actual photo)

One woman’s story showed the raw pain that can be caused by a betrayal of a family built on a 25-year marriage


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Image credits: Wavebreakmedia (not the actual photo)

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Because of the support she received from her initial post, the woman shared some follow-up information as well

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Image credits: kitzstocker (not the actual photo)

In a later update, she claimed to have started divorce proceedings as well


Image source: Particular_Figure123

But how could this even happen?

Beyond the pain of betrayal, the betrayal of living a double life is also a confusing proposition. Why do they do it? How could they be so heartless? And, in a more practical sense, how did they even manage to pull it off at all?

First of all, infidelity of the shocking sort that we saw in this woman’s story isn’t the only type of double life that people like to live. As steptohealth.com correctly points out, double lives can also involve gambling, addiction, or other behaviors that are totally out of line with the individual’s public persona.

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Their article also helps answer the question of “why.” Many people have had moments of infidelity, but not everyone spirals into a double life. People with double lives have problems with executive emotional decision-making, and rather than making a tough but necessary choice, they feel unable to control what’s happening and wind up avoiding any difficult emotional choice by going to extraordinary lengths to cover up their duplicity. This eventually leads to a growing coldness and sense of disassociation from the emotional realities of their lives.

Commenters under her post were nearly all supportive, offering both emotional outreach and all sorts of advice

 

 

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emmabree avatar
EmBree
Community Member
10 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My friend used to visit her mother in her home country for a month each summer. One year she got sick and canceled the trip. Her husband got more and more stressed, nagging her to go even though she was too sick to travel. (She was diagnosed with cancer within weeks.) It turned out that his adult kids from a secret relationship were on their way to visit. The secret relationship had been going on all through their 25-year marriage. It broke my friend. She stayed with us for a while, then she joined a cult and stopped talking to friends and family. We don't know if she's still alive or not.

dinsdale-holly avatar
Mis Stake she/her 🇫🇮🇬🇧
Community Member
10 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When i was a kid our next door neighbor came to our door and fainted. she had just found out her husband of 10 years had an other family with kids and all. She found out as she received the other familys post in her postbox

starstruckbyacomet avatar
Busy Panda
Community Member
10 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

One of the commenters was on point. It seems the husband had been waiting until the youngest child graduated from high school, then he would divorce the wife. The other woman was his fiancee, with a ring and all. A marriage must have been planned to happen in the near future (usually within a year from the engagement). Thanks God his insidious plan was caught, just within months prior to execution. God still protects the wife and the children.

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emmabree avatar
EmBree
Community Member
10 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My friend used to visit her mother in her home country for a month each summer. One year she got sick and canceled the trip. Her husband got more and more stressed, nagging her to go even though she was too sick to travel. (She was diagnosed with cancer within weeks.) It turned out that his adult kids from a secret relationship were on their way to visit. The secret relationship had been going on all through their 25-year marriage. It broke my friend. She stayed with us for a while, then she joined a cult and stopped talking to friends and family. We don't know if she's still alive or not.

dinsdale-holly avatar
Mis Stake she/her 🇫🇮🇬🇧
Community Member
10 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When i was a kid our next door neighbor came to our door and fainted. she had just found out her husband of 10 years had an other family with kids and all. She found out as she received the other familys post in her postbox

starstruckbyacomet avatar
Busy Panda
Community Member
10 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

One of the commenters was on point. It seems the husband had been waiting until the youngest child graduated from high school, then he would divorce the wife. The other woman was his fiancee, with a ring and all. A marriage must have been planned to happen in the near future (usually within a year from the engagement). Thanks God his insidious plan was caught, just within months prior to execution. God still protects the wife and the children.

Load More Comments
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