Most countries in the world celebrate Mother’s Day on the second Sunday of May. Traditionally, the day is spent with family doing fun activities together and children showing appreciation to their moms for always being there for them.
But does anyone ask what the mom wants? How does she want to celebrate her day? It probably happens rarely, as we could guess after reading the comments talking about a story posted by Reddit user BadMomsChristmas. She was planning to spend the day alone and people mainly expressed their envy, but the mom posed the question of whether she’s being a jerk in the first place as she heard other reactions in real life.
More info: Reddit
A mom gets an opportunity to spend the Mother’s Day weekend alone, but starts to feel guilty for not spending time with her children after hearing people’s reactions
Image credits: Ewen Roberts (not the actual image)
The Original Poster (OP) is a mother in her 40s who has kids going to elementary school. It goes without saying that she loves her kids regardless of if they misbehave or are the sweetest angels at times.
She also has a loving husband who is greatly involved in raising the children together, he actually does a significant chunk of housework, and this dynamic works out fine with their work schedules.
Even though they are a happy family that could go on a postcard, being a parent, a spouse and an employee sucks the energy out of you no matter how happy you are. Especially when the children are little and they require a lot of attention.
The OP confesses that she feels tired. Her days start with her dropping off her children at school and that just means chaos every morning because there is always something going on with the kids.
The mom has a good relationship with both her children and her husband who is equally involved in parenting and house chores
Image credits: u/BadMomsChristmas
After a hectic start to the day, the OP goes to work and her job involves talking to people most of the time, which she describes as ‘semi-demanding.’ We can only assume that the evenings are quite busy too and even though the weekends are more chill, the mom gets only a couple of hours to relax if the kids have something to do.
A survey conducted by the food delivery service Munchery found that moms get only 32 minutes a day of me time. Another survey commissioned by Campbell’s Well Yes! Sipping Soups showed that 53 percent of mothers would sacrifice sleep to be able to fully execute their parental duties and 47 percent of them would give up date nights, hobbies and nights with friends. They would also eat more on the go and less nutritional food just to save time, at the same time making sure their kids are eating properly.
But having kids of elementary school age is exhausting and on top of that, the mom works a reasonably demanding job full-time
Image credits: u/BadMomsChristmas
So for Mother’s Day, her husband suggested to take the kids to his dad’s house, which the OP thought was a great idea
Image credits: u/BadMomsChristmas
Working hard is admirable, but everyone not only deserves but needs a break. So OP’s husband decided to take the children to his dad’s house for the Mother’s Day weekend. According to the mom, the kids love being with their grandad so not only will she enjoy a weekend alone, the kids will have fun as well.
In her mind, everything seemed fine, but the reactions she got from the people she knew were quite unpleasant as they accused her of not loving her children because she wouldn’t wake up to their hug on Sunday. Not only was her love for her children questioned, but people called the dad a jerk for taking the kids to his family.
Image credits: Nenad Stojkovic (not the actual image)
Image credits: u/BadMomsChristmas
But what shows that she is a good mother is her children’s behavior. In one of the responses to the comments, the OP said that when her kids found out they would be leaving for the weekend, they hugged her and said ‘Happy Mother’s Day!’ in advance because there isn’t a bad day to show appreciation to your parents.
Also, what this told the OP was that her children realize this day isn’t about them, but about their mother and her wishes.
The OP still wants to have that time to herself and she will, but she doesn’t know if she should feel bad for having it because of the things that were said to her and because she could choose any other weekend other than the one when moms are celebrated.
The response in the comments was really positive as they wished someone would allow them to have a weekend off just for themselves. They believe that the holiday is dedicated to moms so it’s their decision how they want to celebrate it.
But after being called a horrible person and accused of not loving her children, the mom wondered if she was the only one who thought this was a good idea
Image credits: u/BadMomsChristmas
Image credits: Quinn Dombrowski (not the actual image)
A lot of people also wanted to praise the dad for being so thoughtful and taking the kids out of the house as in many cases, they do want the moms to have time for themselves, but they offer to look after the kids at home, which means the moms have to think of something to do and can’t just lay in bed watching Netflix, which might be the only thing that she wants.
There were also a few comments that didn’t agree with the mom because they have lost their children and would have given everything to be hugged by them early in the morning or they just thought that this day should be spent with the family and the OP could have chosen any other weekend to rest.
We would like to know what your take on this is. Do you agree with the majority of redditors who thought that this was the best gift that someone could give to a mom on Mother’s Day? Or do you reckon that while a mom deserves peace and quiet, it should be organized on some other day? Let us know your thoughts!
Turns out that people online disagreed with the reaction the OP got in real life and considered a weekend without kids on Mother’s Day the best gift
Absolutely NTA! I celebrate mother's day twice. Once is the "kids mother's day" where the kids make me a horrible breakfast, and give me something handmade and 'special' and express how much they love me- but honestly we do this because its how THEY want to spend mothers day. Honestly it's not my favorite day. For mothers day my husband always gives me a hotel voucher so I can celebrate my mothers day. That is..... away. somewhere else. alone. just.... not being a mother. I take a spa, go for a swim, order room service, read a book, enjoy the silence, sleep in. I've been called selfish and a horrible mother for wanting to spend mother's day alone but honestly..... it is supposed to be the ONE day a year where we get to do what we want instead of what everyone else wants, except that when we dont choose to do what everyone else wants because are supposed to be self sacrificing we get crucified for it.
NTA, mothers day IS meant to be about appreciating mums and one way to show that appreciation is to let her have a day break for self care. Everyday is about the kids when your a parent so why can't we use mothers day as a reason to take care of ourselves. Don't let anyone make you feel guilty, you are important too.
I'll be honest didn't read the whole thing because if you are a parent, doing right by your kids and need a break you deserve it. I purposely chose not to have kids because I didn't want to commit to that kind of responsibility. So to all the Mums and Dads out there, who work their butts off looking after their kids please don't ever feel getting for taking quiet time for yourself.
NTA. Am I missing something? I thought Mother's Day and Father's Day are about the parent, not the kids! If mom or dad want some quiet time on their ONE special day out of the year that is what they should get.
Poster isn't an ah cause every parent deserves a break, but as a mother who has the luxury of "taking a break" from parenting on Mothers Day, I would have happily given half of the remaining years of my life just to spend an hour with my kid on MD. It doesn't feel like it while you're living it, but one day they'll be grown up and you'll realize it went by faster than you expected or wanted.
Eh. It's called Mother's Day. It's kids day every day. If you have a partner to take care of the kids what's the problem? Being a parent is all about giving and expect nothing in return and that's how it's supposed to be, but everyone needs to recharge to be able to handle that in a good way. You don't have to feel guilty for not feeling recharged by being with your kids and that does not mean you love them any less.
If that's what you want for mother's day, that's fine. Mine are grown and we usually have to watch our grandson on the weekends cause they work. I love my grandson, but I'm 56, disabled and he's 8 months old and weighs 27 pounds, learning to crawl and wants constant attention. I asked for mother's day off. 2nd kid watched their nephew that day, I just needed a break. I'll have him today and I'm actually looking forward to it
This is what Mother's Day should be! Call the holiday people and tell them we changed the rules.
I'm a stay-at-home parent. My request for both my birthday and Mother's Day is to get the kids as far away as possible. Which is only about a half hour because they usually just go to my mom's, who prefers to celebrate with her grandkids, so win-win!
I'm a member of a pandemic mamas facebook group. There was a poll taken and the significant majority of answers showed that most of us wanted alone time for a least half of the day. The vast majority being roughly 85%. NTA and definitely not alone in wanting to be alone on Mother's Day.
As someone who has babysat some really difficult children I can imagine wanting a day to yourself and mothers day is moms day to be alone and enjoy herself. If you make a day before for your kids to celebrate with you that is just bonus points. A mothers day for the kids and the actual day for the mom :)
how is this even a question? every one needs a break. Mother's day seems like a perfect time.
Mother's Day is for the Mother, not the children. I bet the majority of people who are judging her are people who don't have kids. Anyone with children would understand the value of alone time. It doesn't mean you're complaining about the kids, you just need some time to rejuvenate. I saw the original post and I saw a couple like that. I don't have children but I totally get it.
Like hell it is. It's about the kids every friggin day. Where did you come up with this c**p? It's her day to spend as she pleases. She didn't stop being a whole person just because she had kids.
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Absolutely NTA! I celebrate mother's day twice. Once is the "kids mother's day" where the kids make me a horrible breakfast, and give me something handmade and 'special' and express how much they love me- but honestly we do this because its how THEY want to spend mothers day. Honestly it's not my favorite day. For mothers day my husband always gives me a hotel voucher so I can celebrate my mothers day. That is..... away. somewhere else. alone. just.... not being a mother. I take a spa, go for a swim, order room service, read a book, enjoy the silence, sleep in. I've been called selfish and a horrible mother for wanting to spend mother's day alone but honestly..... it is supposed to be the ONE day a year where we get to do what we want instead of what everyone else wants, except that when we dont choose to do what everyone else wants because are supposed to be self sacrificing we get crucified for it.
NTA, mothers day IS meant to be about appreciating mums and one way to show that appreciation is to let her have a day break for self care. Everyday is about the kids when your a parent so why can't we use mothers day as a reason to take care of ourselves. Don't let anyone make you feel guilty, you are important too.
I'll be honest didn't read the whole thing because if you are a parent, doing right by your kids and need a break you deserve it. I purposely chose not to have kids because I didn't want to commit to that kind of responsibility. So to all the Mums and Dads out there, who work their butts off looking after their kids please don't ever feel getting for taking quiet time for yourself.
NTA. Am I missing something? I thought Mother's Day and Father's Day are about the parent, not the kids! If mom or dad want some quiet time on their ONE special day out of the year that is what they should get.
Poster isn't an ah cause every parent deserves a break, but as a mother who has the luxury of "taking a break" from parenting on Mothers Day, I would have happily given half of the remaining years of my life just to spend an hour with my kid on MD. It doesn't feel like it while you're living it, but one day they'll be grown up and you'll realize it went by faster than you expected or wanted.
Eh. It's called Mother's Day. It's kids day every day. If you have a partner to take care of the kids what's the problem? Being a parent is all about giving and expect nothing in return and that's how it's supposed to be, but everyone needs to recharge to be able to handle that in a good way. You don't have to feel guilty for not feeling recharged by being with your kids and that does not mean you love them any less.
If that's what you want for mother's day, that's fine. Mine are grown and we usually have to watch our grandson on the weekends cause they work. I love my grandson, but I'm 56, disabled and he's 8 months old and weighs 27 pounds, learning to crawl and wants constant attention. I asked for mother's day off. 2nd kid watched their nephew that day, I just needed a break. I'll have him today and I'm actually looking forward to it
This is what Mother's Day should be! Call the holiday people and tell them we changed the rules.
I'm a stay-at-home parent. My request for both my birthday and Mother's Day is to get the kids as far away as possible. Which is only about a half hour because they usually just go to my mom's, who prefers to celebrate with her grandkids, so win-win!
I'm a member of a pandemic mamas facebook group. There was a poll taken and the significant majority of answers showed that most of us wanted alone time for a least half of the day. The vast majority being roughly 85%. NTA and definitely not alone in wanting to be alone on Mother's Day.
As someone who has babysat some really difficult children I can imagine wanting a day to yourself and mothers day is moms day to be alone and enjoy herself. If you make a day before for your kids to celebrate with you that is just bonus points. A mothers day for the kids and the actual day for the mom :)
how is this even a question? every one needs a break. Mother's day seems like a perfect time.
Mother's Day is for the Mother, not the children. I bet the majority of people who are judging her are people who don't have kids. Anyone with children would understand the value of alone time. It doesn't mean you're complaining about the kids, you just need some time to rejuvenate. I saw the original post and I saw a couple like that. I don't have children but I totally get it.
Like hell it is. It's about the kids every friggin day. Where did you come up with this c**p? It's her day to spend as she pleases. She didn't stop being a whole person just because she had kids.
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