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Mom Writes An Honest Poem At 4 A.M. About Her Husband Who Sleeps Instead Of Helping With The Baby
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Parenting3 years ago

Mom Writes An Honest Poem At 4 A.M. About Her Husband Who Sleeps Instead Of Helping With The Baby

You can read every child-rearing book on the shelf and interview all the parents you know, but you can never be fully prepared for all of the life changes that come with your first baby. New mom Caroline Olling Andersen, however, found a brilliant way to deal with them. Writing poetry. (Facebook cover image: Monkey Business Images)

Image credits: Caroline Olling Andersen

“My husband is a fantastic dad,” Caroline told Bored Panda. “He is an amazing primary school teacher, and he has always brought a lot of fun and humor to our relationship, which he now also brings to daddyhood.”

Image credits: Caroline Olling Andersen

My latest 4 a.m. poem titled, “Daddy’s Asleep:”

I love your daddy, I really do,
After all, without daddy, I wouldn’t have you.
But from midnight till sunrise, it’s just you and I.
And as each hour passes, I’m not gonna lie:
Mommy’s love slowly fades, becomes angry and weak,
Because no matter what, your dad is f*cking asleep!

It all starts out lovely. We kiss each other goodnight.

We look lovingly down at you dear, such a beautiful sight.
An hour later, mommy wakes with a start.
You’re twisting and turning, you’re starting to fart.
You’re gesturing for food. Mommy is there
with a bottle or breast
Daddy is snoring away, the way he knows best.

Mommy burps you, and holds you and rocks you with care.

You spew foul smelling yogurt on mommy’s freshly washed hair.
As mommy changes her shirt, and mops vomit off the floor.
Your daddy farts, rolls over, and continues to snore.

Mommy’s maternal alarm goes off, it’s not even three!
You’re stirring again, you’re hungry and staring at me!
“I think she is hungry” your daddy offers, pulls duvet over his head,
Mommy sends him a death stare and rolls out of bed.
Mommy comes back, tired and drained and what is this I see?

Your daddy has taken over my side, doesn’t give a f*ck about me!

Mommy kicks him and pushes him angrily away.

“What’s up love?” He moans in a lovingly way.
Your daddy has no clue he is under attack.
He wraps his arms around me and kisses my back.
And just as my love for daddy is back on the rise,
You start to coo in your crib and open your eyes.
And daddy gently nudges me to attend to your need.
I give him the finger as I prepare for a feed.

But as the sun starts rising, the slate is wiped clear.

I’m back to full love for your daddy and for you my dear.
I forget that daddy sleeps while you cry and you poo.
It’s back to kissing and hugging and doting on you.

Soon you’ll grow up and be daddy’s little girl.
You’ll not remember me cleaning up sh*t and vomit hurl.
Whilst you sit on his lap and he sings you a song,
You’ll love him and think daddy could do nothing wrong.
But my sweet love, here is a poem for you to keep,
So you know that all those long nights, dad was f*cking asleep.

The poem quickly started making headlines on the internet and attracted all sorts of attention. “After the poem went viral, I’ve read a lot of comments which have shamed him for not being more active at night and me for complaining about his inactivity,” Caroline, who also finds the time to manage a parenting blog called The Mommy Poet, added. “Truth is, we made a deal during my pregnancy that I’d take the night shift, because I’ve been blessed with long maternity leave. [This way,] he gets to sleep so he can be ready for his 10-12 hour day teaching 10-year-olds. That said, tiredness will still cause you a lot of passive aggressive feelings in the early hours at night – hence my poem, which was written at 4 am on a particularly tiring night (everything I wrote in that poem happened on that one night).”

At first, however, the sleepy dad wasn’t amused by the poem. “When I read the poem out loud to him the next morning, he didn’t find it particularly funny – though he was simultaneously trying to soothe our fuzzy daughter, so I might have chosen the wrong time to read him a mockery poem. It was only later that day, over ice cream and a sleeping daughter, that he read it out loud and laughed and said it was brilliant. He since suggested that we get a laptop for me so I have an appropriate platform to write during my early morning waves of creativity.”

“Parenthood is tough and rough and can really strain a relationship. We make a solid attempt to place our relationship very high on our list of priorities. My parents (happily married for 29 years)- have taught me that a marriage should be prioritized above the children. As my mother said – “Happy parents results in happy children”. As per the airplane instructions – “attend to yourself before helping your child.” So that means making sure we have date nights and take time each day to put the baby down and kiss and hug each other. A lot of people have misunderstood the tone of my poem as anger towards my husband. It’s meant to be read with humor and love for both him and my daughter.”

People had a lot to say about the poem

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Hans
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Another of these pseudo-lovely public shaming of a pouse. If you really believe publicly criticising your loved-one is a good thing to do, spare us the photos that show the alleged love. If you cannot solve this issue between the two of you, or maybe with the help of close friends or family, you have a major issue anyway. Being told to the whole world how shitty you are on Twitter will surely not get you into the mood to change something for good. And besides, what you are going through has been faced by any parent in the history of mankind. Talking to each other and actively searching for solutions is the way out. And it might be as easy as having the man sleep next to the crib instead of the mother. (Of course, it can be much harder, too.)

A B C
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Exactly my thoughts. Absolutely unnecessary shaming after agreeing on a deal stating he can sleep and she'll care for the child at night.

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Donna Martin
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Childfree and I don't regret it.

Samhhain Cat
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Childfree and single. Fuck wasting my time on stupid shit like this. Relationships take too much work and human beings aren't worth it. Especially I.

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Mike
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

so the Mom has a long maternity leave, the Dad has to go to work in the mornings and they also had a deal that she would be the one getting up, but sure lets blame all the dads

Erin Ivy
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It was done jokingly and loveingly not meant serious if you read the whole article

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Hans
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Another of these pseudo-lovely public shaming of a pouse. If you really believe publicly criticising your loved-one is a good thing to do, spare us the photos that show the alleged love. If you cannot solve this issue between the two of you, or maybe with the help of close friends or family, you have a major issue anyway. Being told to the whole world how shitty you are on Twitter will surely not get you into the mood to change something for good. And besides, what you are going through has been faced by any parent in the history of mankind. Talking to each other and actively searching for solutions is the way out. And it might be as easy as having the man sleep next to the crib instead of the mother. (Of course, it can be much harder, too.)

A B C
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Exactly my thoughts. Absolutely unnecessary shaming after agreeing on a deal stating he can sleep and she'll care for the child at night.

Load More Replies...
Donna Martin
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Childfree and I don't regret it.

Samhhain Cat
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Childfree and single. Fuck wasting my time on stupid shit like this. Relationships take too much work and human beings aren't worth it. Especially I.

Load More Replies...
Mike
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

so the Mom has a long maternity leave, the Dad has to go to work in the mornings and they also had a deal that she would be the one getting up, but sure lets blame all the dads

Erin Ivy
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It was done jokingly and loveingly not meant serious if you read the whole article

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