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46YO Mom Falls Pregnant After Fling, Forced To Face Reality That Kids Won’t Be 24/7 Babysitters
Adulting is hard, but there are some things that are non-negotiable. Pay your taxes on time, try to visit the dentist every six months, and always use protection if you don’t want any sudden surprises, for example. You know, just try and be moderately responsible.
One woman turned to an online community to vent about her mom who, at 46, fooled around and got pregnant. Now the baby’s daddy has vanished, and the mom expects all her adult kids to drop their lives and help out. She was in for a reality check, though.
More info: Reddit
RELATED:
Adulting comes with its challenges, but this woman’s mom accidentally made it even harder
Image credits: Vlada Karpovich / Pexels (not the actual photo)
She fooled around and fell pregnant at 46, then the baby’s daddy upped and ghosted her
Image credits: Amina Filkins / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Now she’s demanded her adult kids, none of whom live at home, be available to help out once the new baby arrives
Image credits: Danik Prihodko / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The woman’s kids have their own lives to deal with, and let her know that they won’t be dropping everything to help out all the time
Image credits: EngineeringFew1409
Now the woman’s oldest kid has turned to an online community to ask if being brutally honest with her mom was a jerk move
At 46, one mom has shocked her family with some big news: she’s pregnant again. OP, her eldest child, now 30, shared the story online, revealing how she and her siblings (aged 27, 24, and 20) are all still trying to process the idea of welcoming a brand-new sibling into the family.
To make things trickier, the baby’s father, who had been casually involved with OP’s mom for a few months, has already ghosted. Despite the circumstances, she’s decided to keep the baby. What’s making things complicated, though, is her belief that her adult kids should step up to raise the child because “she’s older now” and will find it harder.
The siblings’ lives, however, are already packed. OP is a mother of three, the 27-year-old has two kids, the 24-year-old lives in another state, and the youngest is a busy university student just trying to make his grades. None of them live with their mom, and they’re not exactly in a position to drop everything for diaper duty round two.
Still, OP and her siblings aren’t abandoning her. They’ve made it clear that while they’ll treat the new baby as part of the family, she has to accept responsibility for her actions. It’s a raw but honest reaction to an unexpected later-in-life surprise that really could have been avoided.
Image credits: cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)
OP and her siblings have been firm and set clear expectations for their entitled mother, so they’ve clearly got no issues putting down boundaries. Of course, they’re not getting off scot-free, but at least they’re willing to offer some kind of help. Is having a kid when you’re over 40 that big of a deal, though? We went looking for answers.
In her article for Parents, Wendy Wisner writes that, just a couple of decades ago, the idea of having kids in your 40s was virtually unheard of. These days, though, having kids post-40 is fairly standard.
New data from the National Center for Health Statistics (NCHS) demonstrates just how much this trend has climbed over the past few years. Research shows that more parents than ever are starting families well into their 40s. The more interesting part of the data is that, for the first time, the number of parents giving birth who are aged 40 and over has surpassed the number of teenagers giving birth.
In her article for Time, Jamie Ducharme writes that, in some ways, delayed parenthood is a sign of progress. Waiting to have kids is a kind of empowerment for some women, giving them room to finish their education, find a fulfilling job, become financially stable, choose the right partner, and mature as a person before settling down to start a family.
There’s no getting around it, OP and her siblings are going to be taking on some more childcare than they bargained for, but hey, their mom raised them, so perhaps it’s time to give a little back anyway. And maybe hunt down the baby’s flaky father.
What would you do if you found yourself in OP’s shoes? Do you think her mother is right to rope her adult kids into babysitting, or is she asking too much of them? Share your opinion in the comments!
In the comments, readers agreed that the woman was not the jerk in the situation and that the only person who owes her mom anything is the guy who got her pregnant
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What do you think ?
The Other Guest 2 months ago
OP says mom "seems to have it in her head that we're all going to chip in..." but gives no examples of what makes her (OP) think this, nor Mom's reaction to hearing that she's not getting the help she allegedly expects. I'd like to hear Mom's side of this story before passing judgement.
Ffion Jones 2 months ago
My mum had my brother at 44. I already had a two year old. My mum looked after my daughter when I went back to work when she was 4 months old. I was still living at home and working part time, we shared babysitting and nursery/school pick ups and drop offs. Even after I left home I’d still pick him up and watch him, took him on holiday with us and he’s grown up now. We are very close and I would not have done it any other way. That was MY choice and it was easier for us. OP should NOT be forced to look after another child that isn’t hers. Tell your mum to grow up
arthbach 2 months ago
In the comments above someone mentioned, "She is going to hit the menopause soon. She is going to be miserable." The two women I know who had babies at this age went from pregnancy to breastfeeding, and that was it. There was no perimenopause, no hot flushes, none of the other signs of the body saying, "Let's wind down this baby production stuff." It certainly made their lives a huge deal easier.
Binky Melnik 2 months ago (edited)
You’ve gotta be kidding me! In my life, oftentimes when I visited a doctor with a problem, I was told “Having a baby will fix it.” That wasnt helpful, as I never planned to have kids and in fact never had one. It was just a hoary old wives’ tale that giving birth fixes migraines, cramps, and a host of other problems. And yet there apparently IS something it fixes? And of all things, it’s MENOPAUSE? How bizarrely wonderful! I hope that’s true for all old mothers! Whatta benefit!
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The Other Guest 2 months ago
OP says mom "seems to have it in her head that we're all going to chip in..." but gives no examples of what makes her (OP) think this, nor Mom's reaction to hearing that she's not getting the help she allegedly expects. I'd like to hear Mom's side of this story before passing judgement.
Ffion Jones 2 months ago
My mum had my brother at 44. I already had a two year old. My mum looked after my daughter when I went back to work when she was 4 months old. I was still living at home and working part time, we shared babysitting and nursery/school pick ups and drop offs. Even after I left home I’d still pick him up and watch him, took him on holiday with us and he’s grown up now. We are very close and I would not have done it any other way. That was MY choice and it was easier for us. OP should NOT be forced to look after another child that isn’t hers. Tell your mum to grow up
arthbach 2 months ago
In the comments above someone mentioned, "She is going to hit the menopause soon. She is going to be miserable." The two women I know who had babies at this age went from pregnancy to breastfeeding, and that was it. There was no perimenopause, no hot flushes, none of the other signs of the body saying, "Let's wind down this baby production stuff." It certainly made their lives a huge deal easier.
Binky Melnik 2 months ago (edited)
You’ve gotta be kidding me! In my life, oftentimes when I visited a doctor with a problem, I was told “Having a baby will fix it.” That wasnt helpful, as I never planned to have kids and in fact never had one. It was just a hoary old wives’ tale that giving birth fixes migraines, cramps, and a host of other problems. And yet there apparently IS something it fixes? And of all things, it’s MENOPAUSE? How bizarrely wonderful! I hope that’s true for all old mothers! Whatta benefit!
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