Woman Who Has Been Raising Two Daughters Goes Viral After Sharing A Set Of 7 Rules They Have To Follow
While welcoming tiny bundles of joy into this world is incredibly rewarding, raising them is far from an easy task. Loving moms and dads bend over backward to mold bright, kind, and decent human beings. But every now and then, they inevitably start to feel overwhelmed and even confused if they are doing right by their kids.
So to keep their marbles intact, they have to create a clear set of household rules. Luckily for us, an Australian TikTok star and a mother of two, Kat Zoe Clark, knows how to do it right. She has been raising and mentoring her 18-year-old and 11-year-old daughters and apparently has been doing a pretty good job. So a month ago, Kat created a TikTok video that amassed over 2.9 million views on the platform and quickly resonated with many fellow parents.
In her clip, Kat stressed how important it is to bring some order into the house so children can know what’s allowed and what’s simply off-limits. From having their location on to being completely honest with other family members, she shared her own list of reasonable guidelines she expects her daughters to follow. Continue scrolling to read about her experience, and let us know what you think about it in the comments!
An Australian TikTok star went viral for sharing a set of rules she expects her kids to abide by in her house
Image credits: katclark86
You can watch the full video, which got over 2.9 million views, right over here
@katclark86 Rules for my kids #mumanddaughter #mumlife #rules #relationships ♬ original sound – Kat Clark
To learn more about setting household rules and maintaining a healthy balance when raising children, we reached out to Dr. Sarah Mundy, Consultant Clinical Psychologist and author of Parenting Through Stories. According to her, one of the main jobs parents have is to guide their kids. They must keep them safe and healthy and support them to engage in life. To do this, they also have to teach them to lead their own fulfilling lives, and setting boundaries is one way of achieving that.
“It’s important that boundaries and rules are delivered with warmth and empathy,” Dr. Mundy told Bored Panda. “We are helping our children understand what they have been developed — not as a punishment but as a way of helping our children learn. After all, discipline means to teach, not punish.”
Once the little ones become older, moms and dads can start to involve them in creating rules themselves. Dr. Mundy explained that more authoritative parents often allow autonomy and encourage independence whilst also setting clear limits on their kids’ behavior. “Children with authoritative parents tend to be more confident, have better emotional regulation and find life easier than those who have parents who are overly authoritarian (‘It’s my way or the high way’) or permissive (‘Just do whatever you want’).”
Yet, we’re well aware that some kids and teenagers have a rebellious side and often push the limits by misbehaving. However, they are much more likely to respect household rules if they understand their purpose and know they were set with good intentions, the psychologist argued. “Have a positive relationship with them,” she said. “The more playfulness you have in your relationship with your child, the more you listen to and support them, the more likely they are to follow your boundaries (with a bit of push and pull, of course!).”
But sticking to the rules is not always easy, not even for the parents themselves. “As a parent, I sometimes set unobtainable boundaries (normally when I’m stressed and my children aren’t listening to me) only to have to renege on them,” Dr. Mundy recounted. She said it’s best to avoid going “in gung-ho” when something isn’t going your way and you’re not as emotionally stable as you want to be. “Such emotional states aren’t conducive to thinking straight!”
“Set boundaries that are realistic and achievable and don’t overdo it. You all need to learn and remember what they are and have time to put them into place. Try to help children learn that what is being asked is fun — and teach them how to do them or do them together in the first instance,” Dr. Mundy suggested. But if you feel like lacking the energy to create rules in the first place, don’t beat yourself up. “Reflect upon whether you are asking too much of yourself or your child and whether you need to look after yourself a bit more.”
Many TikTokers found her rules to be reasonable, here’s what they had to say
However, some believed that making her daughter pay rent was a bit over the top
Of course, navigating the parenting minefield can sometimes feel overwhelming. Luckily for us, Dr. Mundy was ready to offer some advice on setting healthy rules and finding balance within the family. First, she noted to think about what is important to you as a parent. “What do you hope to teach your child and how will you do this in a way? Don’t go overboard with too many rules — start early with small expectations of tasks that you can do together.” Then, make sure to consider what is meaningful to your child. “What are they able to manage? We often expect more of children than they are actually able to do,” the psychologist explained.
If you’re ready to start implementing new ground rules, come up with some simple ones to share with your child. “If they are older you can develop these together. Make sure you are also happy to follow the rules (when appropriate) and explain why these are important,” Dr. Mundy said, adding that you should try to stick to the boundaries so they would become habitual in your household.
“If you come up with struggles in setting these boundaries, don’t panic. Think about why this might be, whether you are being too rigid or too permissive, whether you need more time connecting with your child, etc. Always try to take responsibility for what you did wrong and repair your relationship with your child,” Dr. Mundy concluded.
Apparently, it’s not the first time Kat has been called out for charging her daughter rent. She explained her reasoning behind this controversial rule in another viral video
@katclark86 Reply to @mooooshhhhhhhhhh me. I’m the type of mum that does that. #parentsoftiktok #teenmum #adayinmylife ♬ original sound – Kat Clark
You put yourself out as a perfect parent. People criticize you over the rent issue. "waaah, shut up I don't want to hear all those negative comments! You are all so meaaaan!' Um, if you don't want to be criticized for your parenting choices, maybe keep them to yourself? Also, understand that in most of the world the notion of charging your children rent is seen as ludicrous and, shocker, the internet is available to a global audience, so yeah, you are going to have to deal with plenty of criticism when it comes to that one.
Yeah putting yourself in a public forum means it's public. Anyone and everyone is allowed to comment on it and everyone has varying opinions on it. The only way to not have that happen is to not share in the first place.
Load More Replies...
One aspect of American culture I will never understand is parents making their kids pay rent. You chose to have kids, they didn't choose to be born and live with you. If you're gonna act like they're not your responsibility once they turn 18 you shouldn't be a parent. In my country most parents will pay for their kid's basic living expenses until they finish university, if they can afford it, because they want to make sure their child gets a proper education. Of course most students also work part-time to gain some experience, but their money is their own.
In Germany it's common that adult children pay a small rent if they still live at home and have finished school (thus earning money regularly through vocational training or because they are already working full-time). I think that's okay. But it is absolutely uncommon (and illegal) to force your children to work so they can pay rent. And parents are actually obligated to support their children financially until the end of the first "after-school education".
Load More Replies...
Parents who blast their parenting strategies on the internet are setting themselves up for scrutiny. I had questions at first but she addressed them at the end. Seems like she's a solid mom raising accountable, responsible kids the best she can. It's not my style. Sounds strict but not as strict as my dad and his wife were with my half brothers, who were pushed into 4H club, sports, part time jobs and making the honor roll, while helping with chores on the farm. It was a wonder they had any spare time.
One of my colleagues is a strict parent (such as maintaining good marks), but she's also very open to dialogue - including loud ones. I grew up with strict parents, but I was scared to speak up about most things. It took years (including therapy) to learn to speak for myself.
Load More Replies...
Very misleading saying you're charging rent when you're only charging fifty dollars a week, and you're putting that money into an investment fund for your daughter. I am against charging your kids rent, but this sounds ok.
My mother was in-between: "You study or you work." Small rent if we worked. My sister doesn't charge rent because her son, who works, is putting away money to eventually move out.
Load More Replies...
"... point one, shut up, literally, shut up. I have had so many negative comments about me charging Teesha rent or board, and I don't want to hear it." You know, I was ok with just about everything up to that point. She posted her rules online. She obviously wants attention. There's no rule on the internet that says everyone has to agree with you. She only wants to hear from people who agree with her and praise her. She gets angry with everyone else. She sounds like Donald Trump.
The last is interesting, how do they pay if they don't have a job? Are they on Unemployment Benefit or Austudy/Youth Allowance? Does she declare the rent on her income tax return?
She explains in the follow-up that the 'rent' goes into an investment fund for her daughter. Depending on how these things are set-up they can be tax free or she might even just have it already in her daughter's name. At 18, the daughter probably has at least a part-time job and as she is only paying 50$ per week, that would more than cover that. Saying that she charges rent is really a bit misleading in this post because she really is not. She's is asking the daughter to contribute a token amount that she is then saving to give to the daughter later
Load More Replies...
I don't care about the rent thing but forcing someone to do sports? I'm sorry but that's just not okay. I do understand about not wanting them on the phone all the time but I was one of those totally uncoordinated kids who hated sports of any kind. I was constantly ridiculed because I simply did not have the physical strength and endurance that most sports require and I've always been an introvert. What's wrong with sitting alone and reading a book if that's what makes your child happy? You can get them to move around and get some exercise by chores....cutting the grass, shoveling snow, vacuuming/scrubbing the floor, even taking out the garbage requires moving but forcing a kid into social situations they don't want to be in is never something I would do.
I think the idea of putting the kids "rent" into a fund for their own house us a good idea, but if you teach the kids the importance of budgeting that for themselves, that rule wont be necessary...idk, every kid should he taught to save for the future and bith methods get the job done
she should have said at the beginning the rent money goes to a fund for the child. in that case it is OK to ask for a rent if the child works since she is not taking anything, just saving. if the child does not work I would never ask them for a rent money. I say children should save as much as they can while they live with parents so they can buy their own apppartment when they need to. they should not be forced to pay rent just because "you are an adult and need to contribute". budgeting can be taught in other ways. Like I lived in a dormitory, my parents were paying for the rent and giving me some extra money. I had to budget for my food/transport/school supplies/fun. I had part-time jobs, too
I feel mom should have explained the rent thing better in the OP. $50/week isnt much and it's being placed in an investment fun for the daughter so she will have some money aside when she is ready to move out. That is a smart thing.
Everyone is talking about the rent one, but only one person is talking about the sports one. It's fine if you don't want them on the phone all the time. But forcing someone to play a sport when they don't want to is just wasting their time. They are going to hate it and hate you. There are many other educational events that the child could participate in instead.
Wow combo mom!! Helicopter AND greedy. I'd leave home and never speak to her again.
Is this about your kids or your new boob job? Kinda felt like you were “putting yourself out there” a little much.
My parents, basically my Dad, paid for my school and university education. When I started my job as a librarian, I was still living at home, so I was expected to pay for board, which I took for granted, after all, I was now earning a salary. Don't understand the criticism, if you live at home and are earning money, you pay your share.
Once our daughter graduated college and came back home she found a job within a few months in her profession. We agreed on a monthly amount (maybe $75?, I don’t remember). We kept track of that money and returned it to her when she got her first apartment after about 6 months. It was a great help for her. We have since helped both our adult kids when they’ve really needed it. I’m proud to say we have a 39 yo & a 27yo self supporting, loving, compassionate adults. Just last week our son traveled 4 hours to not only come see us but to “help out with some things around the house” and the proceeded to take us out for a very nice dinner he paid for. His sister (3 hours away) had been here for my birthday just 2 weeks earlier. Never be afraid to make your children be responsible.
My rule was college, trade school, or job and rent at 18. Fine they didn't ask to be born but they are now grown and living in my home. That means they need to be getting ready for the world and the world isn't going to let them eat Doritos and play Call Of Duty all day on the couch for the rest of their lives.
Wow, you people totally don’t listen. And you aren’t getting the gist. See you have the kids learn to adult by “paying rent”. In actuality, she is storing up the money to give to them later. See? Now she could have said, “It’s a good idea to save a portion of your check”, and you a-holes would have commended her. Give me a break.
My mom.was more strict than this mom. I got 3 months break after graduation from high school then given 3 choices. 1. College and I didn't have to pay rent. 2. Get a job and pay 300 dollars in rent or 3 Get the f**k outta her house asap. The other rules from age 5 to 18 was she had to meet the parents of whoever's house I was going to. I had to be home by 7. Parties had to be chaperoned by her. Boyfriends had to meet mom first and I still had to be home by 7 see them at school only until 18 then I had to tell her or risk getting kicked out. Yeah the mom in article is being awesome .
I think it is a wonderful thing to do! It also sets her up to understand that she needs to, and can save money, no matter how much she makes. Good job, great mom!!
I have zero problem with the rent rule, in some families it's needed to contribute to the family budget. Even if it's the money isn't critical to the family budget the lesson that you contribute something is a good one. In this case it's not even rent, it's a forced savings plan.
I like the idea of charging "rent" if the kid decides to get a job (not forcing them to get a job), and then tucking it away as a moving out "gift." Essentially helping them save extra so maybe they can afford that nicer apartment or have a nice really reliable car.
I think making your kid pay a small rent is reasonable once they get a job. It teaches your kids that life costs money and when they do finally move out they are not blind sighted or overwhelmed by reality. They just take over doing what they have been already so the transition is easier then if they suddenly had to pay for everything all at once in a big shock. I started paying for stuff when I started working and I never thought much about it because I thought it was fair. If I wanted a cellphone I paid for it, if I wanted a car I paid for it. Seems reasonable.
All of those sound reasonable. When I was a kid, I didn't get an allowance because money was tight. When I was 10 years old, my dad "hired" my older brother and I to sweep the masonry yard where he worked (he was the manager and got permission from the owner and paid us cash under the table). Back then, I thought "this ssuuuuckkss!!!", but now, at 35, I understand. I understand the value of a dollar and also the fact that the world doesn't give you something for nothing; you have to work for what you want. I think this Mom is doing the right thing. She's teaching her children responsibility while still letting them be kids. That's a good, fair balance. Even the rent thing sounds fair to me. Plus, it's not like the rent money is going to her, she's putting it into savings for her children so they have a chance at life once they move out. My parents charged me $150/month and I never saw it again because, like I said, money was tight growing up. I see nothing wrong with her parenting.
I'm more bothered by the sports rule. Forcing a child to play a sport when they aren't interested in it is a waste of time and will make them resent her. There are plenty of other activities that they could be doing that aren't sports that they may be more interested in.
Load More Replies... I think as long as you are a mentally sound parent and your kids do not have any issues physically or mentally, this is reasonable. I however had these rules but my parents were abusive, didn't let me even talk about these rules, and refused to acknowledge my obvious spiral into depression and eating disorder until I tried to off myself at 16. They still didn't get that something was wrong after that but eventually when I was about 20 and had a serious talk with my dad. I was doing a required 40 hours of grueling maid work a week for rent in the smallest room in the house. I didn't get any earnings until I did 40 hours. I was barely eating and collapsing from exhaustion while working. They realized that they really messed the system up. Still doing therapy for it 22 years later. I suppose at least I learned about paying rent before I was out on my own. Just food for thought.
I don't have a problem with the rent thing, but in America don't be surprised if you find a court telling you, you can't do that. As soon as I left for college (they didn't pay for it), I left and never went back, due to my perceived mistreatment. Pops always asked why I never come home and was just too obtuse to see why. He never understood always telling me his house, his rules spurred me to leave.
You put yourself out as a perfect parent. People criticize you over the rent issue. "waaah, shut up I don't want to hear all those negative comments! You are all so meaaaan!' Um, if you don't want to be criticized for your parenting choices, maybe keep them to yourself? Also, understand that in most of the world the notion of charging your children rent is seen as ludicrous and, shocker, the internet is available to a global audience, so yeah, you are going to have to deal with plenty of criticism when it comes to that one.
Yeah putting yourself in a public forum means it's public. Anyone and everyone is allowed to comment on it and everyone has varying opinions on it. The only way to not have that happen is to not share in the first place.
Load More Replies... One aspect of American culture I will never understand is parents making their kids pay rent. You chose to have kids, they didn't choose to be born and live with you. If you're gonna act like they're not your responsibility once they turn 18 you shouldn't be a parent. In my country most parents will pay for their kid's basic living expenses until they finish university, if they can afford it, because they want to make sure their child gets a proper education. Of course most students also work part-time to gain some experience, but their money is their own.
In Germany it's common that adult children pay a small rent if they still live at home and have finished school (thus earning money regularly through vocational training or because they are already working full-time). I think that's okay. But it is absolutely uncommon (and illegal) to force your children to work so they can pay rent. And parents are actually obligated to support their children financially until the end of the first "after-school education".
Load More Replies... Parents who blast their parenting strategies on the internet are setting themselves up for scrutiny. I had questions at first but she addressed them at the end. Seems like she's a solid mom raising accountable, responsible kids the best she can. It's not my style. Sounds strict but not as strict as my dad and his wife were with my half brothers, who were pushed into 4H club, sports, part time jobs and making the honor roll, while helping with chores on the farm. It was a wonder they had any spare time.
One of my colleagues is a strict parent (such as maintaining good marks), but she's also very open to dialogue - including loud ones. I grew up with strict parents, but I was scared to speak up about most things. It took years (including therapy) to learn to speak for myself.
Load More Replies... Very misleading saying you're charging rent when you're only charging fifty dollars a week, and you're putting that money into an investment fund for your daughter. I am against charging your kids rent, but this sounds ok.
My mother was in-between: "You study or you work." Small rent if we worked. My sister doesn't charge rent because her son, who works, is putting away money to eventually move out.
Load More Replies... "... point one, shut up, literally, shut up. I have had so many negative comments about me charging Teesha rent or board, and I don't want to hear it." You know, I was ok with just about everything up to that point. She posted her rules online. She obviously wants attention. There's no rule on the internet that says everyone has to agree with you. She only wants to hear from people who agree with her and praise her. She gets angry with everyone else. She sounds like Donald Trump.
The last is interesting, how do they pay if they don't have a job? Are they on Unemployment Benefit or Austudy/Youth Allowance? Does she declare the rent on her income tax return?
She explains in the follow-up that the 'rent' goes into an investment fund for her daughter. Depending on how these things are set-up they can be tax free or she might even just have it already in her daughter's name. At 18, the daughter probably has at least a part-time job and as she is only paying 50$ per week, that would more than cover that. Saying that she charges rent is really a bit misleading in this post because she really is not. She's is asking the daughter to contribute a token amount that she is then saving to give to the daughter later
Load More Replies... I don't care about the rent thing but forcing someone to do sports? I'm sorry but that's just not okay. I do understand about not wanting them on the phone all the time but I was one of those totally uncoordinated kids who hated sports of any kind. I was constantly ridiculed because I simply did not have the physical strength and endurance that most sports require and I've always been an introvert. What's wrong with sitting alone and reading a book if that's what makes your child happy? You can get them to move around and get some exercise by chores....cutting the grass, shoveling snow, vacuuming/scrubbing the floor, even taking out the garbage requires moving but forcing a kid into social situations they don't want to be in is never something I would do.
I think the idea of putting the kids "rent" into a fund for their own house us a good idea, but if you teach the kids the importance of budgeting that for themselves, that rule wont be necessary...idk, every kid should he taught to save for the future and bith methods get the job done
she should have said at the beginning the rent money goes to a fund for the child. in that case it is OK to ask for a rent if the child works since she is not taking anything, just saving. if the child does not work I would never ask them for a rent money. I say children should save as much as they can while they live with parents so they can buy their own apppartment when they need to. they should not be forced to pay rent just because "you are an adult and need to contribute". budgeting can be taught in other ways. Like I lived in a dormitory, my parents were paying for the rent and giving me some extra money. I had to budget for my food/transport/school supplies/fun. I had part-time jobs, too
I feel mom should have explained the rent thing better in the OP. $50/week isnt much and it's being placed in an investment fun for the daughter so she will have some money aside when she is ready to move out. That is a smart thing.
Everyone is talking about the rent one, but only one person is talking about the sports one. It's fine if you don't want them on the phone all the time. But forcing someone to play a sport when they don't want to is just wasting their time. They are going to hate it and hate you. There are many other educational events that the child could participate in instead.
Wow combo mom!! Helicopter AND greedy. I'd leave home and never speak to her again.
Is this about your kids or your new boob job? Kinda felt like you were “putting yourself out there” a little much.
My parents, basically my Dad, paid for my school and university education. When I started my job as a librarian, I was still living at home, so I was expected to pay for board, which I took for granted, after all, I was now earning a salary. Don't understand the criticism, if you live at home and are earning money, you pay your share.
Once our daughter graduated college and came back home she found a job within a few months in her profession. We agreed on a monthly amount (maybe $75?, I don’t remember). We kept track of that money and returned it to her when she got her first apartment after about 6 months. It was a great help for her. We have since helped both our adult kids when they’ve really needed it. I’m proud to say we have a 39 yo & a 27yo self supporting, loving, compassionate adults. Just last week our son traveled 4 hours to not only come see us but to “help out with some things around the house” and the proceeded to take us out for a very nice dinner he paid for. His sister (3 hours away) had been here for my birthday just 2 weeks earlier. Never be afraid to make your children be responsible.
My rule was college, trade school, or job and rent at 18. Fine they didn't ask to be born but they are now grown and living in my home. That means they need to be getting ready for the world and the world isn't going to let them eat Doritos and play Call Of Duty all day on the couch for the rest of their lives.
Wow, you people totally don’t listen. And you aren’t getting the gist. See you have the kids learn to adult by “paying rent”. In actuality, she is storing up the money to give to them later. See? Now she could have said, “It’s a good idea to save a portion of your check”, and you a-holes would have commended her. Give me a break.
My mom.was more strict than this mom. I got 3 months break after graduation from high school then given 3 choices. 1. College and I didn't have to pay rent. 2. Get a job and pay 300 dollars in rent or 3 Get the f**k outta her house asap. The other rules from age 5 to 18 was she had to meet the parents of whoever's house I was going to. I had to be home by 7. Parties had to be chaperoned by her. Boyfriends had to meet mom first and I still had to be home by 7 see them at school only until 18 then I had to tell her or risk getting kicked out. Yeah the mom in article is being awesome .
I think it is a wonderful thing to do! It also sets her up to understand that she needs to, and can save money, no matter how much she makes. Good job, great mom!!
I have zero problem with the rent rule, in some families it's needed to contribute to the family budget. Even if it's the money isn't critical to the family budget the lesson that you contribute something is a good one. In this case it's not even rent, it's a forced savings plan.
I like the idea of charging "rent" if the kid decides to get a job (not forcing them to get a job), and then tucking it away as a moving out "gift." Essentially helping them save extra so maybe they can afford that nicer apartment or have a nice really reliable car.
I think making your kid pay a small rent is reasonable once they get a job. It teaches your kids that life costs money and when they do finally move out they are not blind sighted or overwhelmed by reality. They just take over doing what they have been already so the transition is easier then if they suddenly had to pay for everything all at once in a big shock. I started paying for stuff when I started working and I never thought much about it because I thought it was fair. If I wanted a cellphone I paid for it, if I wanted a car I paid for it. Seems reasonable.
All of those sound reasonable. When I was a kid, I didn't get an allowance because money was tight. When I was 10 years old, my dad "hired" my older brother and I to sweep the masonry yard where he worked (he was the manager and got permission from the owner and paid us cash under the table). Back then, I thought "this ssuuuuckkss!!!", but now, at 35, I understand. I understand the value of a dollar and also the fact that the world doesn't give you something for nothing; you have to work for what you want. I think this Mom is doing the right thing. She's teaching her children responsibility while still letting them be kids. That's a good, fair balance. Even the rent thing sounds fair to me. Plus, it's not like the rent money is going to her, she's putting it into savings for her children so they have a chance at life once they move out. My parents charged me $150/month and I never saw it again because, like I said, money was tight growing up. I see nothing wrong with her parenting.
I'm more bothered by the sports rule. Forcing a child to play a sport when they aren't interested in it is a waste of time and will make them resent her. There are plenty of other activities that they could be doing that aren't sports that they may be more interested in.
Load More Replies... I think as long as you are a mentally sound parent and your kids do not have any issues physically or mentally, this is reasonable. I however had these rules but my parents were abusive, didn't let me even talk about these rules, and refused to acknowledge my obvious spiral into depression and eating disorder until I tried to off myself at 16. They still didn't get that something was wrong after that but eventually when I was about 20 and had a serious talk with my dad. I was doing a required 40 hours of grueling maid work a week for rent in the smallest room in the house. I didn't get any earnings until I did 40 hours. I was barely eating and collapsing from exhaustion while working. They realized that they really messed the system up. Still doing therapy for it 22 years later. I suppose at least I learned about paying rent before I was out on my own. Just food for thought.
I don't have a problem with the rent thing, but in America don't be surprised if you find a court telling you, you can't do that. As soon as I left for college (they didn't pay for it), I left and never went back, due to my perceived mistreatment. Pops always asked why I never come home and was just too obtuse to see why. He never understood always telling me his house, his rules spurred me to leave.
62
58