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Mom Praised By 65k People On Facebook For Encouraging Her Sons To See Past Menstruation Taboo
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Mom Praised By 65k People On Facebook For Encouraging Her Sons To See Past Menstruation Taboo

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Let’s face it: some topics are a little bit more embarrassing than others to discuss, but perhaps becoming slightly more compliant, being understanding and open-minded would make all the difference. But what if, as normal as it is, the topic is tight with stigmas and taboos all around the world? This mother has decided to give it a try and challenge the public so that her kids can develop healthy social habits as they grow.

And she did it in the most natural way: nonchalantly suggesting that perhaps it would be a good idea for her sons to carry tampons in their backpacks, and as any modern parent would—she shared it with the whole internet. Bored Panda got in touch with the debate igniting lady behind this story and had a chat about menstruation taboos and its public reception.

This is Micah and Elijah, and their mom taught them to carry period supplies on them

Image credits: Tara Ahrens

Blogger Tara Ahrens, a mother of 4, shared a picture on a private Facebook page, Pantsuit Nation, that has reached over 65k likes and counting. The photo of her sons in the shopping aisle for underwear tagging along to buy bras for her daughters at Target read “My teenage boys helped me shop today, which included buying their little sister’s first bras… because breasts happen.”

She also added that “Both boys carry a tampon and a pad in their backpacks in case one of their friends needs one. Just a mom out here, trying to erase gender taboo!!” and watched it do its job.

Mom Tara decided to erase the gender taboo of menstruation and started from her own family

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Image credits: Tara Ahrens

“I was and still am shocked that my post was so controversial. I shared it, not as virtue signaling, but as a parenting idea. I am always reading and looking for ideas on how to make my family better humans. I truly love reading all of the sweet stories of women and men who are completely comfortable offering assistance to others!” but Tara also admitted that she wasn’t prepared for the vitriol that would come along with the good.

Image credits: Tara Ahrens

She explained to her two sons Micah and Elijah how mortifying bleed-throughs are, that it can even be traumatizing, and how far kindness and understanding shown by others goes in that situation. With that, she also questioned why naturally occurring physical processes should be in any way embarrassing.

And the mother herself was inspired by a story about a man on the Appalachian trail who gave a tampon from his backpack to a woman who had a bleed-through. One day, while driving in their car, she decided to casually put it out there to her teenage boys that they should perhaps carry a tampon in their backpack in case any of their friends had an emergency. And as she learned later, at the end of the school year, one of her sons actually had a situation where one of his fellow students needed a sanitary pad rather than a tampon and since that day, he made sure that both he and his brother also had some pads.

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Image credits: Tara Ahrens

According to Tara’s son Micah, the girls at school at first seemed to be slightly embarrassed by him letting them know that he had emergency period supplies as advised by his mum, but ended up coming to terms with it. Her other son Elijah followed, doing the same—just this time, letting all of his friends know that. He also pointed out that a few boys were making fun of him, but eventually came to terms with it.

Tara also expressed her disappointment at public schools not having menstruation product dispensers available and also costing money if they happened to have one. “Many people clearly do not understand period poverty and how it affects girls. Studies show that many high school girls miss class time and even days at school because of a lack of supplies. While some girls have a guardian in their life who makes sure they have supplies, it would be cruel to assume everyone does. Public assistance does not cover period products and our schools no longer have supplies in the bathrooms, and when they do, they cost money.”

Despite a few other boys making fun of Elijah, he let all of his friends know that he has sanitary supplies

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Image credits: Tara Ahrens

A case of a parent discussing menstruation openly with their sons and sharing that publicly was already a not-so-common occurrence. In some ways, Tara’s post was a trailblazer, receiving a copious amount of support for breaking the taboo of menstruation. It also prompted women from other generations to share their experiences from their younger days when they would get their periods unexpectedly and would get embarrassed in public.

“I think it has always been taboo, historically speaking, as women didn’t have the right to vote, own property, or even keep their children until relatively recently, so we have come a long way. I understand toxic masculinity, but my question was, ‘How do I raise safe, considerate men?'” Tara believes that change has to start with the person themself when it comes to altering society. “I am often told how lucky I am to have my husband, and I truly am happy to share my life with him, but why should I be ‘lucky’? Why aren’t good men the norm?” Tara raised the question, presenting some serious food for thought.

The mom’s mission is to raise her boys as real men who see past any outdated stigmas

Image credits: Tara Ahrens

What she noticed throughout the comments was a trend of humiliation, shame, and helplessness regarding the topic of menstruation as well as various levels of praise from other mothers and fathers when it comes to parenting. She was surprised while reading certain comments admitting that husbands or fathers would in no way go to stores to get period supplies and that women should care for their own stack of pads.

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“I don’t have time to criticize how other women choose to address periods in their home because I am focused on researching the best ways to raise my own kids and we all know, the minute you think you’ve handled one situation with one child, the other three have their own,” Tara underlined that being a mother is hard, as any mother would. “We choose to use anatomically correct words and try to give honest, age-appropriate answers to tough questions and some parents were very open to my ideas and made it clear it’s not for them.” In her opinion, parenting today is a lot of gathering ideas and discarding/modifying them to meet your specific family’s needs.

Image credits: Tara Ahrens

Below, you can check out a few heartwarming comments in response to Tara’s post. Let us know what do you think about boys helping their friends when they’re experiencing period difficulties, how we as society are doing in breaking through taboos, and speaking out about challenging topics as well as modern parenting. You can find the comments section at the end of the article.

And here are a few responses to Tara’s post

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Image credits: Tara Ahrens

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sleazyweaver avatar
Sleazy Weaver
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm a trans guy on testosterone so I no longer get periods &, despite the fear of being misgendered, I still keep period supplies on me for those that need them. It feels great being able to help people, so hats off to this mom for raising kids who make a positive difference in their community! It's a big benefit for everyone involved!

casataylor avatar
Amy Taylor
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had to have a hysterectomy a few years ago, and I'm going to follow your lead on that :)

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viviane_katz avatar
Viviane
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I know two men (a married couple) raising a girl. A male relative asked me "But how will they talk to her about periods?" I dunno, use semaphore and coded messages tied to a pigeon's leg??

243102 avatar
Little Dino
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is amazing! Unfortunately, I can't even talk with my dad about it, my mom whispers if she needs to tell me something too, because of "taboo" (they're immigrants and it's even more taboo over there). I wish more people were like this :)

kha_duong_1 avatar
K.
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hahaha. My dad is outnumbered by girls. He had to get over it.

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sleazyweaver avatar
Sleazy Weaver
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm a trans guy on testosterone so I no longer get periods &, despite the fear of being misgendered, I still keep period supplies on me for those that need them. It feels great being able to help people, so hats off to this mom for raising kids who make a positive difference in their community! It's a big benefit for everyone involved!

casataylor avatar
Amy Taylor
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had to have a hysterectomy a few years ago, and I'm going to follow your lead on that :)

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viviane_katz avatar
Viviane
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I know two men (a married couple) raising a girl. A male relative asked me "But how will they talk to her about periods?" I dunno, use semaphore and coded messages tied to a pigeon's leg??

243102 avatar
Little Dino
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is amazing! Unfortunately, I can't even talk with my dad about it, my mom whispers if she needs to tell me something too, because of "taboo" (they're immigrants and it's even more taboo over there). I wish more people were like this :)

kha_duong_1 avatar
K.
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hahaha. My dad is outnumbered by girls. He had to get over it.

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