“Is She Just Nuts?”: MIL Expects To Have Her 4-Month-Old Granddaughter For Sleepovers, Tells Daughter-In-Law To Cut Breastfeeding Short
When it comes to parenting, pretty much everyone feels like they’re an expert. Don’t get us wrong, it’s great that your family and friends care so much about the welfare of your baby. It’s just difficult to navigate the labyrinth of advice when it goes against what you want to do as a parent. Especially when it’s your in-laws who are the ones pressuring you!
A mother with a 4-month-old daughter turned to the well-known Mumsnet forum for advice after a delicate situation arose in her family. Her in-laws created a gorgeous room for the little girl and would love to have her stay over often. However, there are two issues. The baby’s still being breastfed. And she co-sleeps with her parents.
As such, the mom doesn’t feel like her daughter will be able to do regular sleepovers any time soon. Unfortunately, her mother-in-law has a different opinion, and she’s pressuring her not to breastfeed the baby “longer than necessary.” What the MIL thinks is right and what the science says are at odds with one another. Scroll down for the mom’s full story, as well as how the internet reacted to it. You can share your thoughts on the family drama in the comments.
A mom with a baby girl turned to the internet for some parenting-related advice
Image credits: Leah Kelley
Her mother-in-law is pressuring her to do regular sleepovers at their home, even though the baby is barely 4 months old
Image credits: Tamilles Esposito
Image credits: MollyPocket
Healthy boundaries are essential in any relationship, whether it’s professional or familial. But, let’s be honest, it’s far easier to enforce these boundaries at work than it is with someone you’re very close to. You’re family, after all! It’s can be tough to say ‘no,’ even diplomatically.
However, this can lead to a lot of uncomfortable situations down the road. Your loved ones need to have a clear understanding of what kind of behavior is and isn’t acceptable with regard to your children. And since nobody’s in-laws are mind-readers (even though they might seem like they are!), you need to regularly communicate with them as openly as you can.
Explain to them why you’re continuing to breastfeed your child without sounding defensive. Point out that sleepovers are a great idea and that the room the in-laws made is fantastic, but all of that will have to wait until their granddaughter grows up a bit more.
Nobody should be pressuring you into weaning your baby in the first place, of course. According to the World Health Organization, mothers should breastfeed their children for up to 2 years or even more. Meanwhile, the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends breastfeeding the child for at least the first 6 months. Then, the mother can breastfeed in addition to introducing solid foods into the diet.
In short, there’s a general consensus that babies should be breastfed exclusively for at least around half a year, and possibly for quite some time afterward. It all comes down to what kind of approach the mother feels is best for her child after the first half-year. It’s their decision to make. It’s certainly not up to their in-laws, no matter how much they want their grandchild to stay over as soon as possible.
Some parents who read the story were fully in support of the mom. Here’s what they said about the entire situation
MIL put together a nursery before even asking about sleepovers? Then try to make the mom feel bad because of all the work they put in. Yikes and creepy since you really don't need much other then a place for the kid to sleep. This is the equivalent of a MIL wearing white to the wedding. Firm boundaries now!
Yes. Plus, I don’t know if this was what the mother in law meant in the text, but it read to me like she thought OP was prolonging breastfeeding with the goal of preventing sleepovers. If that’s true then this lady is all kinds of nuts. She’s viewing her relationship with OP as a battle of wills, a tug-of-war over the child. She wants control. That would make me less likely to give her any unsupervised time with my child.
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OP, are you sure you want to leave your child with that crazy woman (grandmother) ever? Think about what lies she could be telling your kid when they are alone. If she thinks stopping breastfeeding so early is a good thing, there may be numerous dangerous things which she might like to try with your baby. Don't make your daughter a Guinea pig for her grandmother.
I was thinking the same thing. MIL's sense of entitlement + the pink princess decor makes me think that she won't ever view the little girl as a separate human being with a mind of her own, but as a little dolly for grandma to dress up and play with.
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MIL put together a nursery before even asking about sleepovers? Then try to make the mom feel bad because of all the work they put in. Yikes and creepy since you really don't need much other then a place for the kid to sleep. This is the equivalent of a MIL wearing white to the wedding. Firm boundaries now!
Yes. Plus, I don’t know if this was what the mother in law meant in the text, but it read to me like she thought OP was prolonging breastfeeding with the goal of preventing sleepovers. If that’s true then this lady is all kinds of nuts. She’s viewing her relationship with OP as a battle of wills, a tug-of-war over the child. She wants control. That would make me less likely to give her any unsupervised time with my child.
Load More Replies... OP, are you sure you want to leave your child with that crazy woman (grandmother) ever? Think about what lies she could be telling your kid when they are alone. If she thinks stopping breastfeeding so early is a good thing, there may be numerous dangerous things which she might like to try with your baby. Don't make your daughter a Guinea pig for her grandmother.
I was thinking the same thing. MIL's sense of entitlement + the pink princess decor makes me think that she won't ever view the little girl as a separate human being with a mind of her own, but as a little dolly for grandma to dress up and play with.
Load More Replies... 
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