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Men Share 30 Things They Believe Women Will Never Understand About Being A Man
Depending on one’s life experience, it can be easy to overlook all the little and not-so-little things one goes through on a daily basis. This can range from the logistics of standing versus sitting when going to the bathroom, all the way to how societal pressures manifest and how different people deal with it.
A netizen asked men to share struggles and difficulties that they believe women could simply never understand. From comical to deeply personal, men across the internet shared their thoughts and emotions. So be sure to upvote your favorites and comment your thoughts below.
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#1
I was the victim of domestic violence, and was laughed out of the police station when I attempted to report it.
Con O Cuinn 2 years ago
It's worse if you try report it while it's happening. Good chance you'll be the one who gets arrested
RELATED:
#2
If you don't open up about your feelings you're a toxic man. If you do, you're either being rude or being a pu**y. We're only supposed to have the CORRECT feelings, at the correct time, at everyone else's convenience.
️Crystal️ 2 years ago
Thank you for sharing this frustration. The women who put you down for being emotionally vulnerable are contributing to toxic masculinity and you're better off without them. Being comfortable talking about your feelings is a healthy HUMAN trait - be healthy, and go find healthy😘
#3
Talking/interacting with a child and instantly getting seen as a [predator]. Once headed out with my 3 year old niece to a playground . . . half an hour later the police were involved. Needed my sister to clear things up.
The factors that have led to men and women having often quite different life experiences, particularly through history, are pretty varied. While those forces in many cases still exist, there are a myriad of smaller, day-to-day things one gender might not even think about until a member from the other points it out.
For example, while its effects are basically omnipresent in many parts of the world, many women have not considered the abject terror brought on by male-pattern baldness. Roughly 30-50% of US men will encounter some amount of hair loss by the time they are fifty, creating a booming industry in toupees and hair transplants, as perhaps too much importance is placed on this objectively smallish tuft of hair.
#4
Older single guy here. We're on our own. Nobody wants to touch us. No platonic affection. Nobody wants to help us. We need to figure it out for ourselves. Nobody will be there for you. You have to accept that. Crippling loneliness is a given. I know I will die alone. I just want to know, why the hell is it taking so long?
️Crystal️ 2 years ago
I am so, so sorry you're experiencing this 😥 I am a 35 year old lesbian who is disabled and women immediately ghost me as soon as they find out I am disabled. I've been single for over a decade, and my frustration has had me recently thinking of how much harder it must be for men who are in a similar boat of not meeting the shallow ideals so many women have. This might seem like a weird suggestion, but I've found groups that do platonic cuddle meets - strict boundaries, absolutely nothing sexual - and it helps with that need for closeness, if nothing else. You deserve healthy connection as much as anyone 💜
#5
Not being believed when it comes to sexual harassment
I was sexually harassed by a girl in my class a really long time ago and when I told it to the school they didn’t do anything
Both of my parents got involved and they still refused to do anything to the girl who was harassing me
#6
The level of depresion men face while basically having no support system and forever being told to just be tough and push on..
JK 2 years ago
On the flip side, i have begged my husband to look in to therapy to help him deal with his traumas, but he won't go because he's been convinced to think it's "unmanly" or "weak" or "waste of time". I asked him if I was weak or wasting my time by seeking therapy myself, he basically told me that it was fine for *me* to go, just "wasnt for him". Men - therapy is NOT bad/weak/girly. Good mental health is incredibly important, please do not feel like it's not for you just because you're a man.
This fear leads to a large number of myths and alternative “remedies” for hair loss that, for the most part, have little to no bearing on reality. Because testosterone levels play some part in how hair works, some have speculated that weight training might lead to male-pattern baldness, despite the fact that most cases are just hereditary. While there does seem to be a connection between excess testosterone and hair loss, many balding men also report low testosterone levels.
#7
my brother got physically abused by his ex and somehow a ton of people still assume he did something to deserve it?... Imagine if the reverse happened! Like a woman talks about how her ex boyfriend punched her because he is an abusive piece of s**t and i would go "yea but what did you do to deserve such a reaction?". if i did that everyone would agree that i am the a*****e but for some reason multiple people have said this to my brother and no one bats an eye.
#8
Expected to be the protector at all times. I mean I’ll do my best but damn, can we call the cops first.
Blue Bunny of Happiness 2 years ago
Definitely! I want a partner who is still in one piece please!
#9
Trying to ask out women with little to no signals to go on. Having to approach and initiate every romantic interaction without coming on too strong and not seem like a creep.
Some studies indicate that women have a stronger sense of smell than men, which is both a blessing and a curse, as many a young man learns a bit too late that if he can smell himself, everyone around him can as well. While there was no doubt a time when ancient humans needed every sense to be as sharp as possible, these days most aggressive aromas, from hot garbage to people who apply perfume with a hose, are more annoying than anything.
#10
Being accused of kidnapping my kids while taking them to the playground. That was fun.
Women going out of their way to avoid me when walking on a street (crossing the street). I get it, but wow does it hurt.
Feeling crushing anxiety and not being able to show it to basically anyone. My wife interprets it as me being unstable/unable to be the provider, even my therapist assumed I was just not wanting to face my demons and that I need to get over it. Gotta keep it in.
Being really sick and told it’s manflu.
Having me sense of self worth basically pinned to my ability to earn money
Very specific, but illustrates the point: I once was at a conference and I saw two ladies walking ahead of me. One was carrying a purse by its handle and it was hanging down. The purse was unzipped and stuff was starting to fall out as she was walking. I ran up and interrupted and pointed out the purse was open and stuff was about to fall out. They both looked at me and asked why I would be looking at her purse and called me a creep and walked away.
️Crystal️ 2 years ago
I am so sorry you've experienced these things. As a woman who has had a lot of uncomfortable encounters with men, it can be easy to become paranoid but I am trying so hard to give every man the benefit of the doubt or just politely excuse myself from an interaction rather than be cold & make assumptions. You do not deserve to be called a creep for being a gentleman, or arrested for being an involved father, ugh!! Kidnappers & thieves are quite often women, not just men. I hope you can keep going to therapy - with a better therapist - because men bravely embracing their emotions is the only way things will change 💜
#11
Middle age loneliness, particularly for married guys with kids. If you're not a middle age bro douche, you probably have no friends. None. Maybe you're amiable with work colleagues, maybe you have a game night with some neighbors, but they're barely more than acquaintances. Your last friend was 10, maybe 20 years ago in the before times. Seems like It's almost a societal expectation at this point.
️Crystal️ 2 years ago
Yes, our society does not embrace healthy connection and I hate that. I struggle to make friends as a woman so I can imagine it's so much worse for men. Thank you for sharing this💜
María Hermida 2 years ago (edited)
I was going to say exactly the same. I think most of us have shallow relationships, not real friends. I get on well with people in general if I have to, but I'm fed up with hypocrisy, small talk and pretending to be who I am not, so it is difficult to find connection. Most people around me are only worried about clothes, money, going to fancy restaurants, money, appearance, money...
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Daniel Gómez 2 years ago
This is my case, not because of lack of friends per se but because I'm an expat and all my good friends, including my bestie, live back in my country, or halfway around the world. And it's difficult to make friends where I live because I'm going through certain personal processes that have reassured me of the fact that I do not want to deal with toxic masculinity, "alpha" male BS, and the sort. I couldn't stand it when I was not aware of my relative toxicity as a man some years ago, can't even stand it now that I've gained a lot more awareness. I'm grateful, however, to the women of my life (wife and stepdaughter) for all they have taught me, maybe I don't have friends here but I'm definitely a better human being because of them, couldn't ask for a better family.
Daniel Gómez 2 years ago
I should clarify, that macho attitude that I mentioned is common where I live, I do not think in any way that I'm above others or think of myself as being superior. And I still have a long way to go.
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dean tirmizi 2 years ago
I'm 33 and this is 100% me right now, I see one "friend" prob once a month, and he's just an old work colleague really, but I wouldn't say that I'm lonely, or maybe iv just conditioned myself to enjoy my own company. and in my 20's I wouldn't go to the corner shop with out having my friends with me
Raphapablap 2 years ago (edited)
I'm 38 and i have two friends that I share rubbish with on WhatsApp, and play PC games with 2 family members but no actual social circle. If we go out with people it's all my partner's friends and acquaintances
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Richard Michael 2 years ago
"Middle age bro douche". That sentence is why you have no male friends. You are just bitter and name-calling someone who has something you don't, but want.
April Pickett 2 years ago
I know it's not easy, but if you want friends, find a way. Churches, social clubs, library groups, and therapy groups supported by your city/town. Look for clubs that have the same interests that you do, bring your wife, ask her for suggestions, and talk to her and your kids. PTA, baseball, football, basketball volunteers, you name it it's out there. You just have tolook.
Mary Kelly 2 years ago
women (maybe intuitively) seek out support groups...really just groups and the support will come...please consider volunteering, joining a hobby, sports, church, VFW....please also consider getting a pet...the pet will love you and, if it is a dog, get you out into nature and amongst people...every day...if you feel comfortable with it, also consider seeing a thereapist or medication if the level of depression is very uncomfortable....good luck
Blondie23 2 years ago
This saddens me. My hubby is 56 and I am 46 and we have a ball!!! We have three kids and are very domesticated but he tells me all the time how happy he is and how comfortable he is. Anytime he wants to talk he calls me or finds me in the house. He has a few friends outside of us that he talks to but we enjoy the heck out of each other. I don't feel lonely and I have asked him and he said he isn't lonely either. I think if you are lonely in your relationship you should reevaluate things! I know I was lonely in my first marriage and after getting the heck out my life improved 1000%!
Lucy 2 years ago
This whole list is so sad, y’all need to start men’s groups or something that do different things to be more social. So far the gist is older men are lonely, can’t share feelings and are bored. Women are fighting to change society’s expectations of us, men should do the same. Start showing emotions, band together and make what you want acceptable. I know the women I hang around would like this type of man better. The a-holes that say things to put you down can hang out each other and be miserable.
Crescent 3 2 years ago
This is something that really hit home for me three years ago when my only brother died. I really had no friends to share that burden with. Most of that was my fault as I had not been very good about maintaining connections over the years. Fortunately, I'm a member of one of the Historically Black Fraternities. I had been inactive for awhile, but reactivating has reignited some old friendships and created some new ones. FYI for those who may not be familiar: One major difference between the Historically Black Fraternities and Sororities, (called the Divine 9, or D9), and what people typically picture when they think about fraternities and sororities, is that in our organizations involvement beyond college is the norm and is expected and encouraged. We have Alumni chapters in most major cities, and most of the business of the organization is conducted by and through the alumni members. Someone can even join as a new member through an alumni chapter.
Tim Douglass 2 years ago
And this is why men whose spouses die tend to re-marry/new relationship much more readily than women in the same circumstance. A romantic relationship is literally the only place middle-aged and older men can have any type of close friendship.
Ken Beattie 2 years ago
Really? All of my friends (and I) are middle aged. Four of us have been close friends since high school. Another I've known for 20+ years and I know he has good friends that's he's hung out with for decades. Another is a friend from the place I used to work and I've known him for 15+ years. And I know he regularly does social stuff with other friends of his that he went to school with. Maybe Aussie culture is different, or maybe we're all just really lucky. But this is not the case in my experience.
Yared Calkinnunen 2 years ago
Been thinking about this a lot over the past few years. My mother and father rarely maintained friendships outside their marriage, and when my mother died, my father was completely reliant on me. I feel like I'm headed down that same road. My son will be leaving home probably in the next couple of years, and then it will just be my wife and I. Almost my entire circle of friends disintegrated between politics and the pandemic, and I worry that, if my wife dies before me, I won't have anybody. Yeah, I have "friends" at work...friends insofar as we don't have to meet up outside of work.
Boop the Snoot. Pound the Paw. 2 years ago
Um, then do something about it? We have a whole pile of Pandas who feel the same. I can’t imagine those feeling are reserved for Pandas. For me, I wld love to have more non-superficial relationships… in theory, The reality is, I don’t want to spend the time or energy to get there. If I got there, there’s no telling what kind of secondary baggage I wld end up with. I don’t want to talk about other people’s kids or aging parents or being stuck in middle management. We have thrilling relationship and friendships at an age when our lives are thrilling. Middle age isn’t it. As the song says….. life goes on, long after the thrill of living is gone.
Elvira 2 years ago
That one goes for women too. I’m 43, I made one friend last year finally, a guy I knew in childhood. Immediately declared a cheater, women can’t be friends with men unless it’s sexual, had to give him up. Guy lives 1800 miles away.
GV Martinez-Williams 2 years ago
That's bad. My best friend of over 30 years is a man (I'm a woman). We don't see each other often because of life bs but when we do (when we chat on the phone) is like we still hanging out in college talking bs. Before meeting my SO and still dating, I would make it clear that my best friend was male and our friendship had to be accepted as part of my package or no deal. I've never made friends easily so this friendship is precious to me.
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Little My 2 years ago (edited)
This can be the same for women, it’s a shame but if you can’t lunch or hang out at parks/ do mum things with other women because you’re always working , go on nights out because you can’t afford it, or nights away with girlfriends because you can’t afford it, and equally you want to be with your kids in the precious time you’re not working. Friendships seem to die out. It can be lonely being middle aged for both sexes. I always feel like I can never really join in with my friends who work less or have more money and I know my husband feels the same way. Parents in a similar situation to us who would understand more are fighting the same battles so hanging out with them is also not possible. Feel for you hardworking men who are experiencing this.
CHRIS DOMRES 2 years ago
And then you and your wife drift apart, the kids grow up and move out, and you are alone together. Might as well accept it as the majority of people in the world are unpleasant humans anyways, at least in America in the current political climate.
Gabriela Cink 2 years ago
I don't get it. I understand situation, when you have to move to different city and find new group as middle aged person ... but if it is not case, what happend? I don't really know any man with this kind of issue. More like they have less time with little kids, but it is better as they grow a little.
Brian Irby 2 years ago
I'm going through this now at age 50. It really sucks and it's hard to explain to my wife.
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
nah I have about 10-20 friends I see every couple of months (peripheral), about 150 that are more acquaintances, and 2-3 that are close that I speak to every day. You just have to make the effort and turn off the TV.
Edison Lima 2 years ago
And here we have the douche bro type he mentioned.
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I have a terrible issue with crying, even when I'm at my worst and feel a constant urge to cry for weeks straight, I won't and can't. Sometimes I think I can't cry without permission. I am well aware that I don't need permission, but my body doesn't care.
Socially, men are in many ways more at risk of loneliness. Male friendships, as opposed to female friendships, are more often based on shared activities than personal connections. This can endanger friendships if the activity has to end and also limits the “scope” of the relationship. Emotional disclosure can be harder if your friend is more of a tennis buddy than a true confidant.
#13
Being expected to be able to step up in scary situations when you are scared sh**less yourself and don't want to either.
#14
You can shake it, you can thump it, you can beat it on the wall, but until you zip the zipper, the last drop will never fall.
Michael P (Perthaussieguy) 2 years ago
That's why I pee in a cubicle and use toilet paper to soak up that 'last drop'
#15
Just how f*****g lonely it is. You are expected at all times to be a simultaneous combination of guardian, emotional caregiver, leader, and provider, on TOP of being relatively successful and 100% independent.
And you have to ALWAYS be these things, 100% of the time. It's emotionally exhausting.
I know that readers may see this and list any number of the various advantages our unfair society affords men, and I won't argue that they aren't there. But I will state that I feel, and probably many other men would agree with this, that society doesn't really care about the emotional, mental, or social health of men.
Chris Rock famously said that only women, children, and dogs are loved unconditionally; men are loved under the condition of what they can provide. I agree with that statement. It's incredibly dehumanizing and dispiriting to constantly be told what society expects from you and wants you to be, as if all you are is a paycheck to support a family or a fearless leader who exudes strength and never falters.
In the 21st century, given that most of us no longer work jobs where peak physique is required, some of the “evolutionary” advantages of the male body fall away. However, the image, or at least personal belief in that image of masculinity is still around, creating a psychological gap that many men don’t know how to overcome. Even worse, many men don’t even know how to ask for help.
#16
Trying to figure out if I should pay:
I should pay on the date to be polite but I also should also have us split because we're equal but there's a gender pay gap so I should pay because I'm a man but gender roles are meant to be cast aside? I...I....I AHHH
#17
Being looked at as a pervert or weirdo for taking your kids to the park or store or anywhere. Any age too! Newborn all the way to teenager!
Michael P (Perthaussieguy) 2 years ago
Never had that issue with bringing up my two kids. Also now as a grandad taking my grand daugher out- no issues and not feeling like there ever would be here.
#19
it's not okay to be a stereotype who tells a woman to get in the kitchen and make me a sandwich, but it's acceptable if not downright encouraged for a woman to knock me for not being able to lift something heavy saying "you're a man, you're supposed to be able to do this!"
XanthippeⓐWulf🇨🇦️️🇬🇧 2 years ago (edited)
I kind of chuckled at this, but you're right & it's something I never realized. There are no gender stereotypes in this household, my partner knows that if there's a creepy noise in the house, he can wake me up and I'll grab my baseball bat & be like "I got this baby!" but also he does all the laundry & bakes like an angel...so yeah, laundry & cake, manly af!
#20
When a woman expresses her feelings and/or problems, everyone can't get enough. When a man does, he is either ignored or told "man up dude". And this is something that'll go on forever.
#21
Trying to talk to others about mental health (both mine and other's). As a child, my mother struggled with mental health but she was wise enough to get help and through that became determined to break the cycle in our family. She gave me the tools to deal with these struggles myself (and for others).
So now, well into my 50's I'm an empathic, caring man, father, husband that can listen well (typically offering the advice of...you should get some professional help but I'm here for you).
The problem is, any men in today's society judge my help as being "soft" or, "nosey " or being a "wash woman". Personally, I don't give AF but it is a sad statement in our society.
#22
Women have no idea what it's like to go your whole life with no one ever thinking to give you flowers.
#23
Trying to find the balance of being emotionally vulnerable and masculine in such a way that maintains attraction. This leaks into communication, sex, outward behavior, and damn near everything in a relationship.
️Crystal️ 2 years ago
I feel like that balance is nearly impossible in American culture, and I wish it were different 😞 vulnerability is a healthy trait for all relationships - women who say otherwise are contributing to toxic masculinity and are not worth your time, as they likely are not capable of healthy vulnerability themselves. Thank you for sharing this.
#24
The ever lasting circle women put us in where they want us to communicate openly and honestly and then when we do, we have to justify what we said and spend a half hour explaining how what we said wasn't an attack on them but rather a logical statement. Gets annoying to the point I don't care to have an opinion anymore.
#25
My wife and I are very affectionate with our young son. Tons of hugs and kisses. I know that there will be a point where he will no longer want that from me specifically but will be okay with her still showing that kind of love.
#26
If we don’t express our emotions in a way that matches expectations, usually through actions and body language, they generally aren’t received or taken seriously, even when communicated clearly. It typically doesn’t matter how we *say* we feel.
Then if we go so far as to have an outburst like yelling or crying, the emotions are finally understood and taken seriously, but they change people’s opinions of us, and usually in a negative way.
There is no “I was just upset” excuse for us. We have to remain in control at all times because we’ll either be considered too scary or too weak, but in doing so, we’re constantly told that we don’t open up enough.
#27
Talking about your mental health. In recent years I've become more open about it but a lot of the men around me just won't open up about it. There are people I know who have ended their life because of mental health issues.
I think it's a difficult conversation no matter your gender, but a lot of men are told to "suck it up" or told that "men don't cry" so they have to keep it all inside.
#28
I had a situation in that I overheard my fiance's mother once say to her in very different words that men have only two emotions. Rage and horny. Basically sounded to me like she thought all men with emotions were just con-men lying to get sex.
#29
Trying to figure out if she’s into you, or just being nice.
#30
The absolute certainty that society doesn't give a flying f**k about you unless you can offer something. There's no net for men, you're on your own.
#31
"Why don't you just go out there and find a girlfriend?" i have tried, and nothing, every single dating app i have used i have never gotten a match "just go up to a woman and ask them out" that is sexual harassment "you just have to try harder" i am in physical pain from trying just to get one compliment
Solidhog 2 years ago
I really relate to this. My son is 21 and has this exact problem. He needs someone to explore life and share experiences with such as traveling. He has tried, but society has made it so hard to find a girlfriend that is not obsessed with social media exposure or just using dating sites to confirm their attractiveness rather than looking for a date. And trying to date in the real world is whole minefield as all men are now seen as either killers, stalkers or rapists.
#32
Sometimes she just wants me to listen (which I do) and other times she wants me to fix it (which I also do). I get it right more than 50% of the time, The other times I get yelled at for not doing the right thing.
She'll go on a rant about me not providing the correct response. I just remove myself from the situation and wait for the cool down.
#33
Modern society can view us being totally useless but somehow in charge of everything
Or getting your c**k caught in a zipper a la Something About Mary style
The latter is probably the worst thing
#34
The whole series or why do you like/why are you doing/wearing/eating/drinking/feeling x or why do you know about or how to do x, you’re a guy? Questions we get on a regular basis.
Why are you wearing pink? You’re a guy
Why are you drinking anything that’s not a beer? You’re a guy
Why are you in this pottery class? You’re a guy
Why did that movie make you tear up? You’re a guy
Hell my favorite was when I was asked that question because I asked for water on a hot day. Apparently drinking water isn’t a thing guys are supposed to do.
Even got asked that when someone asked why I was wearing glasses. Apparently if you’re a guy you’re not allowed to see properly.
Just about every guy gets questions like these on a regular basis that they probably don’t even notice any more.
It’s also not just other guys that ask this but men, women, family members, kids, servers, and I’ve had people at places that tried to make a point that everyone was loved and accepted ask stuff like that even if it wasn’t intentional.
Ace 2 years ago
I can't imagine what sort of a world you live in where you experience these things at all, let alone on a regular basis. Never happened to me, none of them. Well, maybe once, many years ago on a stag do, all the guys including me drinking beer and I ordered a glass of red wine to go with my steak. TBH I think they really didn't get it, rather than being a man thing, until I just said "one cannot possibly eat a steak without a glass of red".
#35
Honesty & feelings: Women ask for that in a relationship & yet when you do, they say that not true & you don’t feel that way. Or worse, look down upon you because you let to much feelings come out. Don’t be vulnerable around a woman, get into a men’s therapy group to let it out.
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What do you think ?
lenka 2 years ago
This post actually serves to highlight that a lot of the issues suffered by women as a result of toxic masculinity also have repercussions for men too. Women have been encouraging men to feel, communicate, express, ask for help and engage emotionally - not only for our own benefit but for yours too. Gender roles don't serve anyone well. You don't need to be tough, brave, male, alpha, stoic, lonely or otherwise emotionally void. Please share.
Marcos Valencia 2 years ago
Indeed. Feminism means liberation for men, too.
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Soyexfox 2 years ago
Took my 13 year old daughter to her first concert earlier this year and had to book a hotel room for the weekend. My first thing to pack was my ID and my daughter's birth certificate. Why?.....so I had proof that she was my daughter and I wasn't a sexual predator if I was called out. Also having to explain to my daughter why have to do such things. It still makes me really upset to think that I have to prove my innocence before I have to enjoy something with my kids. By the way, we had a fantastic weekend and she got to see r favourite artist, Yungblud.
vvv 2 years ago
OK but what is the root of the problem...why do you have to do that ?
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R Dennis 2 years ago
I don't know if I should be more surprised or saddened by the lack of empathy from people in the comments. "Until all suffering is equal, yours has no value" is a terrible standard... I guess it's just disappointing...
Cydney Golden 2 years ago
I think what most are saying is that the rules of suffering need to change for everyone.
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Rens 2 years ago
Every time I read these posts, I want to stand up, wave my arms and shout "Here I am! I will listen, I will not judge, I don't care if you're tall or short or thin or fat, regardless of orientation etc, I am here; if you need someone to talk to, I'm here; if you need a hug, I'm here x
ConstantlyJon 2 years ago
One that's not really on here: I have two stepkids, but they're older. I came into their life when the youngest was just turning 4. I biologically cannot have my own children. I've always wanted to have a baby with my wife, but it isn't going to happen. Women are seemingly allowed to fawn over babies even if they're strangers. If I think a random baby is cute, I can't do the same, and it makes me sad. I haven't held a baby in a very long time, but I can't just ask to hold people's babies. I'm holding out hope for grandkids, but that's not something that's up to me.
- 2 years ago
What if the parents were close friends or relatives? At one workplace, several of my male colleagues were fawning over a baby. Personally, I will not hold a baby unless I'm sitting down because I'm scared to drop them - so I'd gladly be the non-fawning woman and let you hold it. I hope you get your wish. Maybe you can say, "I'm looking forward to grandchildren and I need to practice holding babies."
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Christopher Denney 2 years ago
The one thing I didn't seen on this list is the fact that guys still seem to be expected to be the one to initiate any relationship. Guys are seen as weak if a girl asks them out, and the girls are seen as some slanderous word for sexworker.
Harry Koppers 2 years ago
Fortunately I think this one is changing. Slooowly.
Load More Replies... ️Crystal️ 2 years ago
I have so much admiration for all the men who shared their frustrations! Western society has such absolutely toxic standards/expectations for men. Some men happily feed into it, but I honestly think even more women do! We can't have a change without conversations, awareness, and men bravely embracing their emotions despite the repercussions. Be a rebel, feel your feels, and find healthy spaces where you're safe to express your emotions💜
Dirk Daring 2 years ago
We're not ready for The Horizontal Mambo 100% of the time at the drop of a hat. If we're not In The Mood, it doesn't automatically mean we're cheating on you, no longer attracted to you, or secretly gay.
sofacushionfort 2 years ago
What dark place have I taken as home, where my response to the cry of humanity is only dismissal and righteous condemnation because “my team” is the only worthy humanity?
Metalhead Turtle 🇺🇦 2 years ago
Hey male/male identifying Pandas? ... Trolls, this excludes you. Anyway, I love you. I care about you. I'm glad you're here. I don't know if you can send messages on here, but if you can and you need someone... Reach out to me, okay? And if no one's told you today: you look handsome.
Meh 2 years ago
I don't understand the men with their children comments. Where I live the parks, pools etc are full of men with their kids. Nobody gives a s**t ( apart from the occasional nut case I guess )
anarkzie 2 years ago
These comments are scaring me because if I see a child I will say "Ah, he/she is cute", do people think I'm a pedo? :/
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HyperSocialCheeseFoe 2 years ago (edited)
I hate this. Everywhere you go, everything you do, every part of you will be hated. No matter your race, gender, personality, and no matter how hard you try to do the best you can you will be hated. But, at least some people share love. We need more love and hope in this world, not abuse, hate, and discrimination. But there is nothing I can do about it, no matter how hard I try.
similarly 2 years ago
Just reading through the comments here, it's really obvious that very few people care about men or care about men's issues. I see a lot of dismissing, minimizing, mocking, victim-shaming and victim-blaming, but precious little sympathy or understanding.
Tracy Wallick 2 years ago (edited)
I think it's compassion fatigue; it's more than a little grating when the article is '--things women will never understand', when many of the entries on this list are things we not only understand, but go through ourselves. It shows an exhausting lack of awareness for the problems women face as well as men, and to be brutally honest for a moment, I personally have a harder time sympathizing with men when a number of the problems on this list are of their own making (not showing emotions, having to be the breadwinner, etc.). I'm not saying it's right, I'm not saying they deserve to suffer. What I am saying is that, I feel like if some of these men paid even a little more attention to their female counterparts, they'd realize that many of their issues are not unique.
Load More Replies... Gozer LeGozerian 2 years ago
Men can thank the patriarchy for all of these. It was designed to oppress women, but damn, did it backfire on themselves
Daniela Lavanza 2 years ago
Very interesting posts, but how come so many are redundant? I read the same things twice. BP could clear up and keep the most interesting even if it means less posts, instead of trying to make a long list as a policy.
Tracy Wallick 2 years ago (edited)
I feel for the men in these posts. I really do. But given the title of the article, a lot of the items on this list show an exhausting lack of awareness of women's problems; we absolutely understand a lot of the entries on this list, because we also live with them. Firstly, it means that because many of these entries are not unique, it means they are not alone in their struggles. Secondly, the change needs to come from men; patriarchy was made by men, for men, and to dismantle the parts of it that are harmful, it needs to be men who redefine what it means to be a man.
Gary 2 years ago
Well just one or two posts of something fun would have been nice, PB is so F depressing most of the time.
Bob La Capra 2 years ago
You are right, Gary. Some days the vast majority of posts are negative. I suppose BP has analytics that show the depressing ones get more views and comments which is what it's all about.
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Chris D'Asta 2 years ago
Read through everything and I almost wish I hadn't. It's 5:30 am and I kinda wanna die.
Sara Wilson 2 years ago
Sadly, women have lists like this too! What's needed is for people to start talking and LISTENING and trying to see things from the other side. Not just trying to get your side "winning". It's the only way this works! It's why the US is so f*cked up too
similarly 2 years ago
Honestly, Sara, I see lists for women on BP about once a week, but I agree: communication is absolutely essential.
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Jonathan MacFarlane 2 years ago
So... men's struggles don't matter? In your push for equality, you've accidentally done the oppisite.
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ConstantlyJon 2 years ago
This is a toxic take. The idea that promoting attention on men's issues removes attention from women's issues is insane. Saying posts like this "detracts attention from real issues" is saying that men's issues aren't real, which only makes the actual men's issues worse. That's like saying raising awareness of prostate cancer detracts from awareness of ovarian cancer. Very bad take. It's all important, and this kind of thinking only makes matters worse for everyone.
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lenka 2 years ago
This post actually serves to highlight that a lot of the issues suffered by women as a result of toxic masculinity also have repercussions for men too. Women have been encouraging men to feel, communicate, express, ask for help and engage emotionally - not only for our own benefit but for yours too. Gender roles don't serve anyone well. You don't need to be tough, brave, male, alpha, stoic, lonely or otherwise emotionally void. Please share.
Marcos Valencia 2 years ago
Indeed. Feminism means liberation for men, too.
Load More Replies... Soyexfox 2 years ago
Took my 13 year old daughter to her first concert earlier this year and had to book a hotel room for the weekend. My first thing to pack was my ID and my daughter's birth certificate. Why?.....so I had proof that she was my daughter and I wasn't a sexual predator if I was called out. Also having to explain to my daughter why have to do such things. It still makes me really upset to think that I have to prove my innocence before I have to enjoy something with my kids. By the way, we had a fantastic weekend and she got to see r favourite artist, Yungblud.
vvv 2 years ago
OK but what is the root of the problem...why do you have to do that ?
Load More Replies... R Dennis 2 years ago
I don't know if I should be more surprised or saddened by the lack of empathy from people in the comments. "Until all suffering is equal, yours has no value" is a terrible standard... I guess it's just disappointing...
Cydney Golden 2 years ago
I think what most are saying is that the rules of suffering need to change for everyone.
Load More Replies... Rens 2 years ago
Every time I read these posts, I want to stand up, wave my arms and shout "Here I am! I will listen, I will not judge, I don't care if you're tall or short or thin or fat, regardless of orientation etc, I am here; if you need someone to talk to, I'm here; if you need a hug, I'm here x
ConstantlyJon 2 years ago
One that's not really on here: I have two stepkids, but they're older. I came into their life when the youngest was just turning 4. I biologically cannot have my own children. I've always wanted to have a baby with my wife, but it isn't going to happen. Women are seemingly allowed to fawn over babies even if they're strangers. If I think a random baby is cute, I can't do the same, and it makes me sad. I haven't held a baby in a very long time, but I can't just ask to hold people's babies. I'm holding out hope for grandkids, but that's not something that's up to me.
- 2 years ago
What if the parents were close friends or relatives? At one workplace, several of my male colleagues were fawning over a baby. Personally, I will not hold a baby unless I'm sitting down because I'm scared to drop them - so I'd gladly be the non-fawning woman and let you hold it. I hope you get your wish. Maybe you can say, "I'm looking forward to grandchildren and I need to practice holding babies."
Load More Replies... Christopher Denney 2 years ago
The one thing I didn't seen on this list is the fact that guys still seem to be expected to be the one to initiate any relationship. Guys are seen as weak if a girl asks them out, and the girls are seen as some slanderous word for sexworker.
Harry Koppers 2 years ago
Fortunately I think this one is changing. Slooowly.
Load More Replies... ️Crystal️ 2 years ago
I have so much admiration for all the men who shared their frustrations! Western society has such absolutely toxic standards/expectations for men. Some men happily feed into it, but I honestly think even more women do! We can't have a change without conversations, awareness, and men bravely embracing their emotions despite the repercussions. Be a rebel, feel your feels, and find healthy spaces where you're safe to express your emotions💜
Dirk Daring 2 years ago
We're not ready for The Horizontal Mambo 100% of the time at the drop of a hat. If we're not In The Mood, it doesn't automatically mean we're cheating on you, no longer attracted to you, or secretly gay.
sofacushionfort 2 years ago
What dark place have I taken as home, where my response to the cry of humanity is only dismissal and righteous condemnation because “my team” is the only worthy humanity?
Metalhead Turtle 🇺🇦 2 years ago
Hey male/male identifying Pandas? ... Trolls, this excludes you. Anyway, I love you. I care about you. I'm glad you're here. I don't know if you can send messages on here, but if you can and you need someone... Reach out to me, okay? And if no one's told you today: you look handsome.
Meh 2 years ago
I don't understand the men with their children comments. Where I live the parks, pools etc are full of men with their kids. Nobody gives a s**t ( apart from the occasional nut case I guess )
anarkzie 2 years ago
These comments are scaring me because if I see a child I will say "Ah, he/she is cute", do people think I'm a pedo? :/
Load More Replies... HyperSocialCheeseFoe 2 years ago (edited)
I hate this. Everywhere you go, everything you do, every part of you will be hated. No matter your race, gender, personality, and no matter how hard you try to do the best you can you will be hated. But, at least some people share love. We need more love and hope in this world, not abuse, hate, and discrimination. But there is nothing I can do about it, no matter how hard I try.
similarly 2 years ago
Just reading through the comments here, it's really obvious that very few people care about men or care about men's issues. I see a lot of dismissing, minimizing, mocking, victim-shaming and victim-blaming, but precious little sympathy or understanding.
Tracy Wallick 2 years ago (edited)
I think it's compassion fatigue; it's more than a little grating when the article is '--things women will never understand', when many of the entries on this list are things we not only understand, but go through ourselves. It shows an exhausting lack of awareness for the problems women face as well as men, and to be brutally honest for a moment, I personally have a harder time sympathizing with men when a number of the problems on this list are of their own making (not showing emotions, having to be the breadwinner, etc.). I'm not saying it's right, I'm not saying they deserve to suffer. What I am saying is that, I feel like if some of these men paid even a little more attention to their female counterparts, they'd realize that many of their issues are not unique.
Load More Replies... Gozer LeGozerian 2 years ago
Men can thank the patriarchy for all of these. It was designed to oppress women, but damn, did it backfire on themselves
Daniela Lavanza 2 years ago
Very interesting posts, but how come so many are redundant? I read the same things twice. BP could clear up and keep the most interesting even if it means less posts, instead of trying to make a long list as a policy.
Tracy Wallick 2 years ago (edited)
I feel for the men in these posts. I really do. But given the title of the article, a lot of the items on this list show an exhausting lack of awareness of women's problems; we absolutely understand a lot of the entries on this list, because we also live with them. Firstly, it means that because many of these entries are not unique, it means they are not alone in their struggles. Secondly, the change needs to come from men; patriarchy was made by men, for men, and to dismantle the parts of it that are harmful, it needs to be men who redefine what it means to be a man.
Gary 2 years ago
Well just one or two posts of something fun would have been nice, PB is so F depressing most of the time.
Bob La Capra 2 years ago
You are right, Gary. Some days the vast majority of posts are negative. I suppose BP has analytics that show the depressing ones get more views and comments which is what it's all about.
Load More Replies... Chris D'Asta 2 years ago
Read through everything and I almost wish I hadn't. It's 5:30 am and I kinda wanna die.
Sara Wilson 2 years ago
Sadly, women have lists like this too! What's needed is for people to start talking and LISTENING and trying to see things from the other side. Not just trying to get your side "winning". It's the only way this works! It's why the US is so f*cked up too
similarly 2 years ago
Honestly, Sara, I see lists for women on BP about once a week, but I agree: communication is absolutely essential.
Load More Replies... Jonathan MacFarlane 2 years ago
So... men's struggles don't matter? In your push for equality, you've accidentally done the oppisite.
Load More Replies... ConstantlyJon 2 years ago
This is a toxic take. The idea that promoting attention on men's issues removes attention from women's issues is insane. Saying posts like this "detracts attention from real issues" is saying that men's issues aren't real, which only makes the actual men's issues worse. That's like saying raising awareness of prostate cancer detracts from awareness of ovarian cancer. Very bad take. It's all important, and this kind of thinking only makes matters worse for everyone.
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