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An unfortunate part of dating that many women go through is the fact that many men, despite, ostensibly, being adults, need to learn a lot of things that seem like they should be self-evident. The reality is that, sometimes, a partner has to be molded and shaped.
Someone asked “Men, what is something your wife/girlfriend taught you that you use often?” and people shared their best examples. We also got in touch with the woman who shared the post to learn more. So get comfortable as you scroll through, upvote your favorites and be sure to add your own thoughts, stories and examples in the comments below.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
That I'm a cutie patootie, I have embraced that fact now.
RELATED:
#2
A few really magical ones come to mind:
1. Most people aren’t rude, they’re probably just shy
2. Don’t set yourself on fire to keep others warm. Putting your own needs at the bottom of the list is just masochism and is probably unhealthy.
3. One girlfriend explained to me (at age 19) that she had to learn to accept that during puberty her body was changing… it was as though guys just kinda got bigger, but a girl’s body changes in a profound and different way. I always thought about that whenever I was intimate with another woman’s body - their bodies can change from one week to the next
4. One girlfriend said something to me one night that was kinda funny… we were back at my place and had both had a big day. I was really tired. I explained I was exhausted and couldn’t really do much to make the night fun. She said that it was okay, it’s not as though I am a clown and have to keep her entertained.
#3
Check washing instructions before doing laundry. Except, this totally backfired on me because now I do all of the laundry.
LauraDragonWench 8 months ago (edited)
Right, "backfired." 😏 My mom made my dad start doing laundry 35 years ago and after a while he took over the chore completely. Because he was the only one who could "do it correctly." (Despite the accidental dyeing and bleaching of the occasional load, but whatever.) Wisely, my mom didn't argue with him and never had to do the laundry again. 😄
BeesEelsAndPups 8 months ago
I don't really mind doing laundry. I used to have to do it by hand, now I have a washing machine with a spin cycle (which pretty much does everything). I have dish-washer too, so I don't mind washing dishes. This stuff is so d**n easy when it doesn't take 2 hours of your day. I put the clothes in the wash, I turn it on. How hard is that? Folding clothes, now that takes forever. Especially for my kids' clothes.
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April Pickett 8 months ago
It's the least you can do. You make at least 50% of the laundry. When your kids are older (10+), you can make them do all the laundry.
Bored Panda got in touch with the woman who made the post in the first place and she was kind enough to share some more details with us. Naturally, we were curious to learn why she posed this question to the internet in the first place.
“I’m a single 30 year old female. I’ve had my fair share of failed relationships, and one night I was wondering if I ever made an impact in their lives. So I was just generally curious about little or big things that have stuck with men over the years from a partner,” she shared.
#4
If she tells me about a problem, my job is to listen and empathize. My job is not to solve.
Theora Fifty-five Johnson 8 months ago
Exactly! and you can say "Are you looking for a solution or commiseration?"
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Michael Largey 8 months ago
If my job is not finding the solution, it may be helping the other person find the solution for themselves.
Just_for_this 8 months ago (edited)
I was guilty of this, i now ask my wife "comfort or solutions?" before she speaks so i can better support her.
Lowrider 56 8 months ago
I've learned to ask my wife when she has problems do you want a solution or just vent?
Snow_White 8 months ago
Mine fails to understand this repeatedly and then gets overwhelmed by all the problems he needs to sort out and lashes out how much I pile on him.
#5
Sent this post to my husband of 15 years with the comment: "Kinda curious...".
His response: "Honestly, that I don't have to apologize for existing."
(Context: His parents were...not easy on him in his youth and always catered to and favored his sisters. He even mentioned he got grounded once for breathing too loud).
But wow this was the best and saddest compliment from my love ever.
BeesEelsAndPups 8 months ago
That's funny because I learned the exact opposite from my ex-wife. I should be constantly apologizing for existing. That took a long time to un-learn. Sorry
Lila Allen 8 months ago
I'm sorry you were treated like this. Next time you feel the impulse to say " sorry" turn it around. Instead of " sorry I am late" say " thank you for waiting for me" Instead of " sorry I didn't get it done" say " I was only able to finish x,y,z" ... don't let her win.
Load More Replies... #6
Always pause and think before responding in a serious conversation.
DowntownStevieB 8 months ago
I do this every time I interview. It works wonders for two things: I process good information into answers and 2. I stutter and it helps me to sound like to know what I'm doing.
BeesEelsAndPups 8 months ago
I learned to pause and think, and then think some more, and then just keep my mouth shut. If I have thoughts to express, don't. If I have emotions, it's because I'm confused. Men don't have emotions. Unless she needs me to be emotional, then do show them, but not too much or I am being too feminine, or exhibiting toxic masculinity, depending on the emotion. What did I learn from my past relationship, it's better to be single.
Andie Day 8 months ago
I'm sorry. You must have met some miserable women. If you have emotions, it's good to process them, but happy is an emotion, and that one is just good to run with. No confusion, please.
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Amanda Reinstatler 7 months ago
The pause is VERY important. Silence often does the talking for you, without blurting out things in anger that you cannot take back
We were also curious to hear her thoughts on why the post got so many comments. “I think because it shows both perspectives and even showed some married (or dating) couples that we really do learn from each other, even if it’s the small things. Not to mention, they’re now learning about each other just from this thread. Anything to make a strong couple stronger. It truly is the little things.”
#7
Value the time you have with the people that you love. Dont take a minute for granted.
nottheactualphoto 8 months ago
Everyone, take this to heart while you're young (if possible). Especially regarding the "old" people. Get them to tell you stories, etc.
Sarah 8 months ago
My dad tape recorded an elderly relative in late 80s- to get the family tree and all such info and stories. She was late 80s - wouldn’t have been able to write it all.. just a tape recorder and fabto have her voice. She was my fav person I’ve ever loved .
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AnnaB 8 months ago
The way a loved one's voice sounds is the first thing you'll forget. So get their stories and history on tape!
LauraDragonWench 8 months ago
So true! My mom died in 2011 and while I can remember the essence of her voice and laugh, I can't remember its sound. We aren't a family that records memories, so I don't have any kind of recording of her - barely any pictures, either. Just fading memories.
Load More Replies... Tabitha 8 months ago
Do waste that precious little time by starting unnecessary arguments or just being an a*s, for no real reason except something else is bugging you/you’re hungry/you’re tired/whatever. You will end up regretting not cherishing that time with that person when you don’t have it—-or them—-anymore.
#8
To not accept the barest level of quality in literally anything.
She encourages me to buy nicer clothing, a better computer, etc. not because nice things are important but because I should feel like I deserve nice things.
I think most men don't have any kind of voice that tells us we deserve good things in our lives.
Nathan Lewis 8 months ago
I have a voice that tells me the cheaper option, more often than not, performs the exact same task
RS 8 months ago
A lot of times the cheap option won't last nearly as long, making its replacements more expensive in the long run than getting the more expensive one in the first place. Of course, some people can't afford the expensive one, and get stuck in a replacement cycle.
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Just_for_this 8 months ago
Regarding computers, Often spending a bit more (not cutting edge, literally ~£50 more) could get you a machine that is exponentially better than the one you are looking at (to a point).
Al Fun 8 months ago
I like the advice from Adam Savage about buying tools (works for many other things too): First buy the cheapest, then, if it breaks, buy the best you can afford. You have proven two things: First, that the cheap one is actually not sufficient for the job, and second, that you use it that much that a big investment makes sense.
DowntownStevieB 8 months ago
I think this works best when it's applied to things you have interest in. For example, I'm not a fashion thinker but I do play the Trumpet and sing, so I buy great things related to that.
Lindsay A 7 months ago
Hair conditioner. I bought cheap for YEARS because I thought they were all the same really. It's just not true. My expensive one lasts the same amount of time (maybe longer) than the equivalent cost in cheap AND works better. Shame it took me until nearly 40 to figure that out!
#9
How to make a grilled cheese sandwich. My ex-wife asked me to make her one once. She watched in horror as I took two pieces of bread put cheese in the middle and then used the microwave.
Lee Gilliland 8 months ago
Bet she didn't stop and rescramble, that's the trick of it. 30 seconds, scramble, 15 seconds, scramble, 15 seconds, scramble and eat.
Load More Replies... Naturally, we also wanted to hear her perspective. “I’ve mostly dated blue collar men. So as a female, I've learned how to change my own oil, spark plugs, patch a hole etc. I grew up with a single mother who didn’t know how to do this herself. So partners have shown me how to be more independent and I’ll always be thankful for that,” she shared with Bored Panda.
#10
First gf taught me to drive stick. Bad a*s farmers ftw.
Tracey Stammers 7 months ago
Automatic is less popular in the UK. Stick drive is the expectation when learning to drive.
The Other Guest 7 months ago
Nobody is born knowing how to drive stick. Very few things are easy if you were never taught how to do them.
Load More Replies... #11
How to buy clothes. It sounds small, but I would always just get the first things that fit well enough; when shopping with her she taught me to only settle once I got something which actually fit me perfectly and which I was happy with. Shopping with her now takes an extra hour or so, but I get stuff which I love wearing as opposed to stuff which is good enough.
Sue User 8 months ago
I go shopping when i feel down. Not as a pick me up but rather the fact that if i like whatever it is it then, i must really like it.
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barbara Nivens 8 months ago
It's cheaper in the long run to spend more on quality clothing. If you buy cheap c**p you're replacing it within a year.
#12
To dry my feet and legs before getting out of the shower, and to lower the toilet seat down after I peed.
She tricked me by raising it back up after she went at my house and she explained “this is a guys house, so I’ll raise it back up where it goes after I’m done” and then I just automatically started lowering it when I was at her house like some serious reverse psychology was going on there.
Even my probation officer said “I’ve heard you’ve become quite domesticated😂.
CF 8 months ago
Or we could all try to normalize closing the lid after every use, then flushing. It's more sanitary and removes the whole issue over "why should it lower the seat for you, why don't you lift the seat back when you are done??" Bonus (and primary reason in my home): no litter dust pawprints on the seat from cats playing in the toilet water.
Rinso The Red 8 months ago
I swear it's like people don't even know the lid is an option
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Huddo's sister 8 months ago (edited)
TBH I find it just as easy to lower it when needed as a male would to raise it, so I don't really care. My sister did manage to break my toilet lid/seat when she sat without looking when both were down, so I could see her falling in if the seat was left up. I do think if I was a man I would just sit to pee though.
“There was one comment about a wife who sent this thread to her husband curious about his answer. She went on to say his answer was to never apologize for being himself and then gave some back story of his. His parents made him feel irrelevant compared to his sisters. I think it’s just beautiful growing up from such terrible self esteem from the people who are supposed to love you most, to finding a person who shows you that you do matter to someone.”
#13
To be present and joyful .
#14
A pile of clothes in the corner of the room is not acceptable and there was something called a hamper.
#15
To eat slowly and enjoy my meal. I came from a house where if you didn’t eat fast someone else would.
angelmomoffour62 8 months ago
That's so wrong taking food from kids cause they eat slow. Shame on them...
Lila Allen 8 months ago
I worry about that at school. Our lunch is 25 minutes. By the time kids go through the line and get their food they have about 13 minutes to eat. I don't think this is teaching them good habits
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Lee Gilliland 8 months ago
You rad it right. It was ok to take unbeaten food off the plate of a sibling.
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Fabulous chocolate cookie 8 months ago
I feel this. My parents always were the "efficient" type. You had to eat fast otherwise you would waste time. They would just remove the plate in front of you if you were too slow. There was no room for just some resting or conversations. Just eating quickly and going on with your day.
Helena 8 months ago
My family was the opposite. They dawdled through eating and drove me up a wall. To me eating is mostly just a task. Plow through it and get to something I actually want to do
Load More Replies...She left us with some parting thoughts. “I feel like this thread can be a learning experience for couples of all ages. Talk to each other. Learn about and from each other. We can make this a better place if we all just help each other out, no matter how small it’s still a victory,” she shared.
#16
She taught me to assume the best outcome in any situation, even bad ones. It helps remove or alleviate any possible anxiety, and brings a feeling of calm that keeps me focused and back to reality.
I observed her doing it for years, but it didn’t really stick with me until I was in my 30s. The rim could fly off the car while we’re driving, and she would already believe we’re going to crash into soft snow without any injuries or pain. It’s great.
BookFanatic 8 months ago
In my usual overthinking, I have three scenarios. I think through the absolute worst that can possibly happen, the absolute best outcomes, and then what will in all likelihood actually happen. It sounds exhausting but I find it oddly calming.
Lila Allen 8 months ago
Actually it is a valid anxiety management strategy. If you have plan for how you will handle the worst case scenario it decreases anxiety.
Load More Replies... Amanda Reinstatler 7 months ago
I am going to try this!! I always catastrophize everything....
#17
When dealing with a child, if you give them a little control back in decision making it makes controlling them easier when they don’t want to do things. This has helped me as a parent, but even more so as a doctor for kids. My wife is a genius.
LauraDragonWench 8 months ago
They don't teach basic humanity in medical training. Humans are simply machines to be fixed - any software involved, like those pesky emotions, is to be ignored.
Load More Replies... Lila Allen 8 months ago
Oddly the same thing our voting system does. Would you like the donkey or the elephant. When it's a forced choice option you aren't actually getting choices.
#18
Don't try to guess. Ask.
KatSaidWhat 7 months ago
*retrospective upvote* - also if someone doesn't want to tell you and you are supposed to guess, that's some bad communication skills right there.
#19
That I am lovable, valued and valuable even when I am not providing a service.
She taught me this by the negative space created when she left, and I realized I had friends and family and hobbies that fulfilled me, and that I was happier in the company of books and music than alone with her. .
#20
How to budget my money, before my partner I was awful with money really did burn a whole in my pocket but she's really taught me the importance of having money in the bank.
#21
How to braid hair. All boy household except for mom, and she had the curliest hair ever and kept it short. Mine is curly too, but I also cut it short. Long, straight hair, which she has, and basically everything that went along with it, was pretty much a total mystery to me before. Now I’m an expert 😎🤣.
barbara Nivens 8 months ago
I was in the hospital for quite awhile, every time hubby came in and saw that my hair had been washed and styled he always complimented the gals if he saw them. They loved the day he asked them to show him how to do a type of bun. So funny 🤗
#23
Empathy, i use it as often as possible.
Pandemonium 8 months ago
I'll spot you "sym" since you're surely much better than you think you are
Load More Replies... #24
She taught me how to cook better. I could always cook for myself before, but she really taught me a greater variety of ingredients to cook with. Just really opened up my world.
#25
My wife has taught me that there are times she needs me to be her husband and partner. There are other times she needs me to be her friend.
One requires me to listen and offer advice so we can work through whatever together. The other is just to listen and respond with "you're not the b***h, *she's the b***h*".
#26
When you're shopping for meat, use the meat bags (tf are those actually called?) like a glove to grab the meat. So start with your hand all the way inside the bag, grab meat, pull bag over meat. You'll end up never touching it. This is in pursuit of avoiding any raw meat or blood that happens to be in the packaging. If you're not worried about that then snatch it up with your bare hand like a Neanderthal.
LauraDragonWench 8 months ago
It's not. But 9 times out of 10, those plastic-wrapped Styrofoam trays leak and drool, so you use the bag to keep your hands, cart, car, countertop, and refrigerator clean.
Load More Replies... #27
How to cook/season food. She was horrified when I told her I don't like chicken noodles soup because we always have it straight out if the can (usually warmed up). Then she made me homemade soup also using the can, and it's like being sick was worth it just to taste that soup.
#28
My first gf taught me how to go down on a woman and I use that technique to this day. Shout out.
#29
To stop and think logically before flying off the handle.
I’m still working on it, but she’s likely saved me from numerous uncomfortable moments due to my temper.
She’s incredible.
Michael Largey 8 months ago
I was in a relationship with a woman who claimed I was unfair when we argued because I used logic. Another time she asked me "How come when we have an argument, I'm always the one who's wrong?" Because if I thought you were right, we wouldn't be having an argument, would we?
Andie Day 8 months ago
Boy, her comment about her being always wrong makes me pretty sure you're a manipulative jerk that doesn't have any respect for women. No wonder she's your ex. If you were at all sensitive, you would open the door to realizing that there can be two sides, multiple ways of looking at the world and doing things, and nobody is 100% right all the time. Your unfairness is because you used your 'logic' as a weapon not a solution,.
Load More Replies... #30
Give them time.
It's never enough, but give the two of you time, as much as possible, whenever possible.
#31
Just asked my husband. He said, “You taught me feelings.” He’s the best.
#32
When my husband & I were still dating, and he first found out I use a straight razor on my legs, his reaction was to immediately ask me to shave his face, as if it was the most awesome great idea in the world. He wouldn't take 'no' for an answer.
It wasn't long before he had his own straight razor & maintenance kit, and now he handles it like a g*****n master of blades.
Auntriarch 8 months ago
My mother used to use a cut throat razor on her legs, the first time my dad saw her do it he fainted
#33
The value of holding my tongue ... even if it's important enough to say, it doesn't need to be said in the heat of the moment.
Michael Largey 8 months ago (edited)
Not everything that pops into your head has to pop out of your mouth.
#34
Assume positive intent, my wife is a saint.
#35
If I'm feeling bad, I don't have to feel bad about feeling bad.
#36
She taught me how to crack multiple eggs. You get one in each hand and tap them together till one of the shells cracks. The one that is still solid has 'won' the battle and gets to fight a new egg. Makes baking that much better.
Lousha 8 months ago
I learned that on a very drunk night, and still use it 25 years later. The last egg did not win anything, it just needs a different opponent than another egg: you hold it in your palm, turn your other hand palm up, form a fist, then let your index finger come out a bit from the "row" of fingers. You hit the egg with the curled up index finger, with a quick and confident motion, and you won.
Jessica Rabbit 8 months ago (edited)
I love cracking my eggs this way. Only ONCE have they both broken, usually only one cracks.
#38
That you can use your feet like heat sink radiators by sleeping with them outside the sheets. It helps a lot to stabilize my body temperature on those in-between nights when I'm not sure whether I'll be too hot or too cold.
LauraDragonWench 8 months ago
I thought that was just an automatic thing. My feet have been doing that since... I don't know when. Always? TIL that wasn't an instinctual move. 😁
Sharkfin6 8 months ago
Fan on every day, all year long. Completely covered under blanket and comforter, curved pillow between my legs against my chest. One hand under my pillow, the other on my husbands waist. One foot and half a cheek peeking out of the blanket lol. Our puppy snoring at the foot of the bed between us. Best sleep every.
Blue Bunny of Happiness 8 months ago
A hot water bottle filled with cold water or out of the freezer to put your feet on. Looking at you current UK heatwave….
#39
Peeling garlic by smashing it with the broad side of the knife. I am a 3 star chef now.
#40
To check before buying something…and to save some money! It has reduced the spending and got us saving a lot of money in no time!
#41
Conditioner works as shaving cream in a pinch.
#42
She taught me to be more decisive.
- She definitely needs leadership because she’s very trait neurotic. I on the other hand have always been very carefree and unbothered so I rarely had strong opinions about stuff in general.
- I am very analytical and problem solving comes easy to me. So being able to express an opinion and follow through actually helped me a lot at work.
#43
I taught my boyfriend to put a dryer sheet at the bottom of the trash can under the bag. He was amazed that the garbage didn't smell anymore and now does it religiously in every trash can at his place.
Huddo's sister 8 months ago
Just sprinkle bi carb soda in the bottom, it's cheaper and more sustainable. If you must have a fragrance too, a drop of essential oil.
#44
That I need to clean the hair out of shower when I am done with it.
#45
To drink water.
#46
To not try to solve every problem they tell me about. It took a while but I eventually learned that women like to tell you about their problems for no reason and if you try to solve them, they get mad. They don’t want you to fix everything (or anything really).
#47
To garggle salt water when I have a sour troath. Its magic.
LauraDragonWench 8 months ago
"To gargle salt water when I have a sore throat. It's magic." And, yes, gargling salt water is a great preventative.
#48
To apply lotion everyday and my skin would feel better.
#49
Using chop sticks, was f*****g clueless with them before i met her.
Adam Benson 8 months ago
I'm glad I learned to use them before I moved to China, it's come in very useful here - though I hold them a little differently than the locals.
Multa Nocte 8 months ago
She wouldn't have to be. I use chop sticks all the time and I am not Asian.
Load More Replies... #51
Don't ask your kid what they want for a snack, just put something in front of them. That's pretty much it.
#52
How to cook rice.
#53
My last girlfriend taught me the difference between body spray and deodorant lol.
#54
She taught me to negotiate hard even for small things.
She used to say that is all practice that will pay dividends later. That has helped me in all my business dealings.
#55
Where we live, in the summer you can hold your hand up to the horizon, count how many full hands stacked before reaching the sun. Each hand is approx one hour until the sun sets. Each finger is approx 15mins. It's not exact but it's d**n close.
I taught this to my husband when we first met and he thought it was some kinda crazy. Now I see him doing it relatively frequently.
#56
To say the following
My bad.
I'm sorry
I'm wrong
No I was not thinking.
#57
How to fold a fitted sheet.
Michael Largey 8 months ago (edited)
Folding fitted sheets is like watching a magician saw his assistant in half. It can't be done in real life, but I enjoy watching someone create the illusion.
LauraDragonWench 8 months ago
Come to my house, I'll show you how it's done - no saw required!
Load More Replies... Lady Eowyn 8 months ago
I have tried every trick I have ever read/heard about to fold a fitted sheet. None of them work. kermit-oxy...2cae36.jpg 
Cheryl Ramsay 8 months ago
fold long corner to long corner, tuck corners together, fold. repeat with short corners, tuck into long corner's "pockets and fold. Then fold sheet to whatever size you want. Smaller sheets are easier than queen or king.
#58
*wiping front to back.
#59
According to my (f) partner (m), how to appreciate the little things. Sunsets, a fire on a cold day, a tasty homemade meal, etc.
#61
How to be more hygienic. I used to think I was doing good enough until she told me otherwise.
#62
If I turn the duvet cover inside out, insert my hands to the corners and then grab the corners of the duvet pulling it through it’s a hell of a lot easier than trying to shove a duvet into a case.
#64
Use your tongue to do calligraphy.
#66
Technically an ex girlfriend, but she taught me a trick to close chips bags pretty much airtight without using any clip. It's a bit hard to explain but you use the air pressure of the bag to keep its own fold pressed closed.
#67
Gf 30 years ago got me brushing my teeth in the shower. GAME CHANGER! I'll never go back to the sink again.
LooseSeal's $10 Banana 8 months ago
How does this save any time? I can't wash myself while brushing my teeth, so it's going to take the same 2 minutes. Plus the water will be running the whole time.
LauraDragonWench 8 months ago
If your showerhead has a pause/shut off function, use it. You wash yourself, then brush your teeth (or vice versa). It's not necessarily about saving time, but doing a task that's potentially messy in a place where it's easy to rinse out/off your mouth.
Load More Replies... Michael Largey 8 months ago
Those of us who use electric toothbrushes might be a little hesitant.
Explore more of these tags
What do you think ?
Just_for_this 8 months ago
To talk about and express my feelings. To the world im a closed book - but to the people who matter im getting better at it.
Adam Benson 8 months ago
My Chinese wife taught me to make a wicked stir-fry. It turns out the magic ingredients are salt, sugar and just the right amount of oil.
Fabulous chocolate cookie 8 months ago
My ex taught me that my feelings are valid, I have the right to say what bothers me and I need to ask for help more. Plus she taught me "accidently" when we broke up how to be more okay with doing things alone sometimes.
Just_for_this 8 months ago
To talk about and express my feelings. To the world im a closed book - but to the people who matter im getting better at it.
Adam Benson 8 months ago
My Chinese wife taught me to make a wicked stir-fry. It turns out the magic ingredients are salt, sugar and just the right amount of oil.
Fabulous chocolate cookie 8 months ago
My ex taught me that my feelings are valid, I have the right to say what bothers me and I need to ask for help more. Plus she taught me "accidently" when we broke up how to be more okay with doing things alone sometimes.
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