Husband Doesn’t Help Care For Newborn Baby, When Questioned Demands DNA Test And Ruins His Marriage
What you may not know is that for over thirty years now, there has been a satirical virtual ‘Darwin Award,’ which recognizes persons who have supposedly ‘contributed to human evolution’ by selecting themselves out of the gene pool by passing away by their own stupid actions.
Well, the hero of our story today is alive – and even recently became a father, but for his own actions towards his marriage, he definitely deserves a unique variation of the Darwin Award. Something like ‘How to destroy your marriage after a happy decade in just a few words…’ Don’t believe me? Then let’s read on!
More info: Reddit
The author of the post recently became a father for the first time after around 10 years of marriage
Image credits: Anna Shvets (not the actual photo)
However, the man wasn’t eager to help his wife in taking care of the baby, though he changed his work schedule
Image credits: u/11herb
One fine day the husband even approached the wife with a demand to do a paternity test
Image credits: Valeria Zoncoll (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/11herb
And after the results confirmed his paternity, the author finally agreed to take care of the kid
Image credits: CDC (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/11herb
But then the wife struck back – she claimed it was a betrayal and moved in with her parents with the baby
So, the Original Poster (OP), in his own words, is a man in his early 30s, and his wife is a year younger. They have been together for more than 10 years, and two months ago they became parents for the first time. And when you have a baby, believe me, you need the active participation of both people, thanks to whom they were born.
But the man, it seems, was in no hurry to get involved, so the main burden of caring for the child fell on the mom’s shoulders. With all the ensuing consequences, which any doctor or any experienced parents will tell you about. But the original poster apparently decided to get information from the numerous ‘alpha male’ videos and podcasts.
As you probably already understand, this didn’t lead to anything good. One fine day, the guy came to his wife and asked her to do a DNA test for the child. She, frankly speaking, was shocked, but agreed. And only when the test results confirmed his paternity, the dude announced that now he was definitely ready to take part in caring for the baby.
But then something happened that most likely none of the heroes of those videos and podcasts told the guy about. The wife stated that with his demand literally out of the blue, he had questioned her fidelity, their mutual trust after ten years together, and that it was damn inappropriate, offensive and generally felt like a betrayal.
After saying this, the woman packed her belongings, took the baby, and went to her parents’ house, where she is now. And the original poster is only now beginning to realize that he “did something wrong,” and that he, it seems, destroyed his marriage and his family with his own hands…
Image credits: Timur Weber (not the actual photo)
“Let me try to guess – this man felt a ‘change in previous feelings’ towards him on the part of his wife after the birth of a child, began to wonder what this could be connected with, and found nothing better than to suspect his wife of infidelity?” ponders Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, whom Bored Panda asked for a comment here.
“And he, of course, didn’t think about such terms as postpartum depression, or simply about the specifics of female physiology and psychology after the childbirth. And at the moment when his wife actually needed support and his help most of all, he actually stuck a knife in her back…”
“The most surprising thing is that with the abundance of literature, videos and specialists who can explain literally any nuance – and explain it absolutely correctly, many people still turn to dubious sources, and then wonder why everything went wrong?” Irina summarizes.
Commenters under the original post do not particularly mince words when characterizing the author. “That’s awful that you put her thorough that,” one of the people wrote angrily in the comments. “She definitely deserves better and is probably starting to realize it.” “You ruined your marriage because you treated your wife [badly]. That is her perspective, and she’s right,” another commenter added.
Many people in the comments are also almost sure that after what happened, there is no future for this relationship, and that all that remains for the OP here is to try to become a decent dad, at least. “You deserve this. Focus on being a better father and accept that it will likely be a coparenting relationship from now on,” someone wrote. And what do you, our dear readers, think here?
People in the comments unanimously blamed the man for doing a stupid thing and actually ruining his marriage
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What boggles my mind is that, after he got the results, he thought he could fix things by forcing her to watch and listen to the misogynistic online drivel that rotted his brain so she could "understand his perspective." Smooth move.
"Honey!! Just listen to all these people talk about how women are soulless and awful and just trying to take advantage of everyone and you'll totally get my perspective" dude how did you think that would help your case?!?!?
Load More Replies..."She wasn't mad" sure, she was devastated and heartbroken for being so mistrusted and disrespected. What a clown.
She checked out of this marriage the second he said that. She wasn't 'cool with it', she was eerily calm because she was looking at a complete stranger.
Load More Replies...He certainly can't claim that it's another guy's responsibility.
Load More Replies...The very fact it even crossed his mind to do the DNA test is enough. Actually doing it, tying helping with the baby with the results and then trying to convince her and himself really that is he could just explain himself she'd be OK is WAY too much. Dude, she hears you. And the more she hears, the further out the door she gets.
Agreed, for the first 2 months he thought everything was fine until she called him out for not helping her with the baby. Thus completely lazy self serving idiot took this road to excuse his laziness as having a legitimate excuse. That is one deep hole he dug and now he is feeling affronted at being buried in his own filth.
Load More Replies..."I didn't think she had been unfaithful but I just needed to be sure." Holy ghost, what was he thinking - parthenogenesis???
He probably buys into the idiotic belief that sperm from any man a woman sleeps with lingers inside her and can impregnate her years after intercourse.
Load More Replies...I'm just gonna appologize for my gender. No excuses given as there are none. I like how he kept digging though, like "6 feet isn't deep enough to bury this marriage? I'll go to 60 feet and check back in."
Bruv, I can't say anything else except you done f-ed up hard, man...!!! -_-"
Haw haw. Lemme guess manosphere idiot incels podcasts. She gone man.
Hopefully she divorced his moronic a$$ and he's having to pay a ton in child support. What a scum bag!
Load More Replies...Thank you, came to the comments to see if that had come up.
Load More Replies..."I dont think you cheated... just prove it to me" all because he listens to podcasts and videos. Yeah... its not hard to guess what brain rott and garbage he's been listening too. Betting he's never missed an episode of Joe Rogan, Matt Walsh or PDB.
OP sounds like he's been super controlling. Maybe once she had the baby the lady realized just how out of whack her life was. When it was just her, she perhaps was less assertive and willing (or able) to fight back. I hope sh'e okay.
This guy is a major AH, and a complete idiot for not realizing what he did!
It is one thing if a guy is in all ways he could be a loving, doting father who really cares for his child, does hia part and with every action shows he's willing to do his part and be a father, who then says: hey honey, I totally trust you and I would never really think that you'd heat on me, I'm just so restless and tired and you know, those guys are teasing me relentlessly, I tried to shake it off because I really don't want to hurt you but they nag and nag and nag, would you mind if we had a DNA test so I can shove it up their @sses so they leave me alone? And this guy who clearly didn't believe that she cheated, but seemed to have hoped so because he didn't want to be a father. He clearly felt no love for his baby and refused to care for the babe. When she begged him for help he evaded and kept trying to get out of it, and then asked for a DNA test in hopes it wasn't his without thinking it through. Otherwise whatever he saw in random videos wouldn't have had such an impact on him
I'm sorry but make HER understand?! She understands perfectly! You allowed yourself to be manipulated and influenced by people on the internet over a long term relationship. Your life suddenly had a huge change and you were looking for any reason for it to go back to how it used to be, in complete disregard to your family. It would have been easier to explain that you didn't feel a bond to your child, it does happen, but you made it the worst and shattered everything she believed about you and your marriage in one sentence. It isn't about you anymore. And you're still making it about you, ignoring everything she's going through because you think it's an overreaction. So no, you can't really fix this. You apologize and listen to her, but now she has to work through what she feels.
She’s getting her ducks in a row to divorce you. She’d do it now if it was financially possible. When she came to you asking about why you weren’t parenting your child, that was your last chance and you blew it. She only did the dna test because she knew you’d insist on one as part of the divorce and she’s already decided to divorce you. Unlike you, she isn’t stupid.
So first he assumed that the child isn't his and uses that as an excuse to be totally unhelpful. Then demands, without any reason to believe otherwise, that he needs a DNA test before helping. Keeping in mind, that she first had to ask him why he wasn't helping before he threw this curveball in her face. The fact that she could remain calm and collected is a testament to her. She had every right to rage in his ace and walk out. But now that he's proven to be a moron and the father, she can leave him. How stupid can he be?
I would have agreed to a dna test and the second he showed the results is when I would have handed him the divorce papers.
That is also what I would have done, too. What an idiot.
Load More Replies...He was failing his responsibilities and being unsupportive. Then, he was insulting, and hurtful, justifying his behaviour by showing that he had no trust in her. He basicly accused her of cheating without any evidence, or even acknowledging that he was having irrational insecurities. Then he justified that by showing her that he was listening to misogynistic drivel and taking it to heart, so much so that he thinks she should believe it too. Dude has zero self-awareness, zero empathy, and zero chance of fixing his relationship unless he fixes himself first.
What a shame Asking paternity test after 10 year of marriage...That means that the one who is unfaithful is you...and you think that she is equal to you. what a little man you are. Now you will see what it is like to be a father and not be able to have your son close and all thanks to you and your stupidity. It's what you deserve.
I doubt if it would do him any good. A heart transplant might; he sure needs one.
Load More Replies...If he didn't fall in love with the child as soon as it was born, there's something wrong with him. He never wanted a kid, he doesn't actually love his wife, and she's finally figured it out.
Now that is simply not true. It can take a while to bond with your kid and we shouldn't shame people that need a bit of time. It doesn't automatically mean they won't love the child or take good care of them. This guy is just an *sshole. If he had put in the work to bond with the child and take care of it, things wouldn't have been so bad. Sometimes people have intrusive thoughts even though they know it's nonsense and I can imagine wanting to be sure. This just isn't the way to do it. This guy doesn't even seem to realize he's the one that's being irrational /unreasonable..
Load More Replies..."I need verification that this baby is mine" is literally suggesting you're suspecting your partner of being unfaithful, and I for the life of me cannot fathom why some men think that's 'not a big deal'.
I could not have said it any better than MajorasKitten above. OP is the biggest moron ever.
YTA... such a tone deaf toxic masculinity moron. He's obviously NOT the brightest crayon in the box for requesting a DNA test for his kid & unclear as to why his wife don't want to be anywhere near him. After 10 years he had absolutely no solid proof that she cheated but he probably did. I truly hope she divorce this idiot, request full custody as well as child & spousal support. He ruined his marriage because he listened to other idiots on a podcast or videos. It's a shame he reproduced too. 🤭
I knew it was over when she calmly agreed to a DNA test. Men are so obtuse sometimes. "She acted like it wasn't a big deal" "She doesn't even get mad about things she used to complain about any more." "She seems a lot less involved like she used to be." All the classic warning signs of someone who's had enough of your c**p and is now figuring out how to cut ties.
I'm not against the idea of DNA test most just because it can help make sure your kid wasn't swapped in the hospital, but this whole situation is ridiculous. "I explained that I didn't think she had been unfaithful..." Dude, yes you did think that. How tf else would she have a baby that isn't yours? Immaculate conception? Come on. Honestly, the fact he left out so much detail about the build up to this tells me all I need to know.
Whoa...yeah definitely AH material male here. Seriously guy? You asked your wife to take a DNA test to prove you are the father of the child and you cannot understand why she is upset? Talk about offensive. You are the father and yet you are merely the sperm donor in this scenario. Talk about not being father material, nor husband material either. Take your immature, misogynistic, arrogant self and leave now. All I can say is I sincerely hope the mother of your child is making plans for her own future, one that excludes you. She needs a real man, a real husband, a real father. She does not need child/man who has no sense of responsibility.
So, dumb question: why couldn't he just do the DNA test without mentioning it to his wife? I mean, it still shows a lack of trust, but at least he wouldn't be ofending her to her face.
That seems like an even bigger breach of trust, to go behind her back?
Load More Replies..."I just want to be sure, I want a DNA test before I'll contribute as a parent." "I don't think you were unfaithful." These two statements cannot exist together. One is a lie, and his wife absolutely did not deserve to be called a tramp after 10 years of faithfulness. Especially not while exhausted from caring for his child while he purposefully neglected her AND the child.
No, actually, this cognitive dissonance exists in a lot of men who follow incel c**p/misoginist c**p. They don't "think" their partner is cheating, but all the videos say women are, "by nature", gold-digging "wh*res", so they are full of doubt. The videos keep telling them "not to be a cuck and take care of kids that aren't yours" and keep hammering home the idea that "most women" trick men this way. "They want Chad's baby, but they want a sucker to help raise it" is the story they feed. And insecure men devour this steady diet of bovis stercus and start following it. Husband's defense here amounts to: "You see what the bros on the internet were telling me? Most women are like this! They can't help it! I just wanted to make sure, because how bad would it be for me if you were?"
Load More Replies...What a f****n moron! It is astounding how oblivious he is to what he did.
And people whine when I criticize cisgender heterosexual male behaviour. 9_9
We really don't paint ourselves in a good light do we
Load More Replies...I imagine that he would have seen his wife struggling with everything and (even if he hadn't bonded with the kid) he should have helped her. What kind of person sees a new mum struggle and not want to help?! Let alone if it's your own child... bewildered by this man
Exactly! Strangers help pregnant women in public, she was in the house 24/7 and he did nothing, trash, just trash!
Load More Replies...I think if you request a DNA test for your child, you should understand that will be the end of the relationship, period. You're basically saying the mother is a skank and a liar, and most women will not forgive that. If you don't realize this, you are too stupid to parent or be in a relationship.
I m guessing this guy didn't think his wife cheated on him, but instead had the deluded idea that sperm from any man she had been with before him lingers in his wife, and potentially impregnates her long after she had sex with another man. The videos he showed were probably the "science" that explains this. In his twerpy little brain, she doesn't understand how his request for a DNA test isn't him accusing her of infidelity.
What an absolutely lazy, selfish "man". She deserves better and did the right thing leaving.
The irony of being "red-pilled" thus your eyes are "open to the actual world and how it works" but are completely blind to the fact that the a******s pushing this stupidity are grifters and scammers.
What the f did I read? Maybe he's cheating. Maybe he's looking for a way out of this marriage.
Am I the only one who saw the exact same story before, but from the woman's perspective?
She's been with you for a decade and never has given you a reason to suspect her of infidelity and you act all weird around your baby because you're not certain it's yours? Idiot. Yes, you've ruined things. Her reaction with cool detachment is a dead giveaway. She's potentially completely done with you. Gear up for a divorce and child support payments.
I am sure the podcasts tell him to wait until after the baby is born so the mother feels trapped. If he'd asked for the test during the pregnancy she could have left, made other plans, maybe even decided against having the child, but by waiting until she is exhausted and financially more precarious, she's less likely to leave. Glad she's getting out.
What podcast would tell a man with no problems in his marriage or suspicions of cheating to ask her to prove it's his baby? Whatever that podcast is, I would listening.. You've made no attempt to bond with your baby, it looks like you don't love him so of course your wife feels alone. Her expectation of a happy loving family is destroyed. I hope her parents can help her heal.
My Gods I cannot believe this insane f*****t. Firstly he's not even trying to help her let alone pull his weight or look after the baby and support mum. Yet other men are phenomenal step dads. He can't be arsed to look after his own child then uses the pathetic b******t of DNA testing. I wonder if she had known his thoughts if she would have had the baby as you Know if the father of the child is talking like that that you're going to be a single parent before long. What a Complete a**e hole 🤬
Let me see... he didn't think his wife cheated but he still wanted a DNA test? Shouldn't he contact are 51 in that case? I don't blame her for leaving and since he proved he actually didn't want the kid (why else look for reasons not to care?), she should limit contact as well.
if she did cheat in the relationship then id understand him wanting a dna test but his excuses are something even a child wouldnt be dumb enough to try
I was with everyone else when I first read this; “How dare he mistrust her! He should’ve left well alone.” But just now I understood a different perspective. Maybe he was feeling insecure. Maybe her response to his request for the DNA test could’ve been; “Of course darling. I’m sorry you are afraid that I don’t fancy you anymore and have had an affair. How awful for you. Let’s do the test to get us back on an even keel.”
What. Big cruddy jerk! He just didn’t want to help take care of the baby, but refused to say so! He instead asked for a DNA TEST.! ? Even more than moronic! Asking for the DNA test was the stupidest thing he has ever done in his life. He didn’t even go ask his OWN MOTHER , what could be “ wrong” with her! Stupid. Dumb, and selfish. So he watches this random bunch of videos and comes to the conclusion to ask for a DNA test? Wow. He puts the name dumb bunny to shame. He needs to get with it, let her leave, provide more than adequate child support costs, and more than adequate spousal support. This is the least he can do, aside from learning to be a good dad. She has definite grounds for divorce, and breach of contract, for her marriage, and it’s dissolution.
I like how he categorized it as "not that serious". You blew up your marriage because you listened to drivel on podcasts, got your penis in a knot and decided you didn't trust your wife of 10 years with no evidence of infidelity. Yes, you moron, it was serious.
Asking for a DNA test is exactly the same as telling her you don't think the baby is ypurs. Call her a ho whiley you're at it, why don't you. And you don't understand why this would upset and insult her, and what you did wrong? I can scarcely believe anyone with more than two neurones can be so clueless. I would have lost respect for you too. This is not fixable. You can't fix THAT stupid. 🙄
That whole paragraph about if "she could just understand his perspective she will adjust hers" and "it's not that serious so I'm unsure what her issue is"!!! Really?? He IS brainless! Does he really think women are that stupid??
I don't care much for the article. Those are the cutest kūdikiai in the stock photos, BP. :) IMG-171262...238297.jpg
"I didn't think she was being unfaithful but I needed to be sure....".... Just like when I took my driving license and my father didn't let me drive because "it's not that I don't trust you but that's the only car I've got...."
What boggles my mind is that, after he got the results, he thought he could fix things by forcing her to watch and listen to the misogynistic online drivel that rotted his brain so she could "understand his perspective." Smooth move.
"Honey!! Just listen to all these people talk about how women are soulless and awful and just trying to take advantage of everyone and you'll totally get my perspective" dude how did you think that would help your case?!?!?
Load More Replies..."She wasn't mad" sure, she was devastated and heartbroken for being so mistrusted and disrespected. What a clown.
She checked out of this marriage the second he said that. She wasn't 'cool with it', she was eerily calm because she was looking at a complete stranger.
Load More Replies...He certainly can't claim that it's another guy's responsibility.
Load More Replies...The very fact it even crossed his mind to do the DNA test is enough. Actually doing it, tying helping with the baby with the results and then trying to convince her and himself really that is he could just explain himself she'd be OK is WAY too much. Dude, she hears you. And the more she hears, the further out the door she gets.
Agreed, for the first 2 months he thought everything was fine until she called him out for not helping her with the baby. Thus completely lazy self serving idiot took this road to excuse his laziness as having a legitimate excuse. That is one deep hole he dug and now he is feeling affronted at being buried in his own filth.
Load More Replies..."I didn't think she had been unfaithful but I just needed to be sure." Holy ghost, what was he thinking - parthenogenesis???
He probably buys into the idiotic belief that sperm from any man a woman sleeps with lingers inside her and can impregnate her years after intercourse.
Load More Replies...I'm just gonna appologize for my gender. No excuses given as there are none. I like how he kept digging though, like "6 feet isn't deep enough to bury this marriage? I'll go to 60 feet and check back in."
Bruv, I can't say anything else except you done f-ed up hard, man...!!! -_-"
Haw haw. Lemme guess manosphere idiot incels podcasts. She gone man.
Hopefully she divorced his moronic a$$ and he's having to pay a ton in child support. What a scum bag!
Load More Replies...Thank you, came to the comments to see if that had come up.
Load More Replies..."I dont think you cheated... just prove it to me" all because he listens to podcasts and videos. Yeah... its not hard to guess what brain rott and garbage he's been listening too. Betting he's never missed an episode of Joe Rogan, Matt Walsh or PDB.
OP sounds like he's been super controlling. Maybe once she had the baby the lady realized just how out of whack her life was. When it was just her, she perhaps was less assertive and willing (or able) to fight back. I hope sh'e okay.
This guy is a major AH, and a complete idiot for not realizing what he did!
It is one thing if a guy is in all ways he could be a loving, doting father who really cares for his child, does hia part and with every action shows he's willing to do his part and be a father, who then says: hey honey, I totally trust you and I would never really think that you'd heat on me, I'm just so restless and tired and you know, those guys are teasing me relentlessly, I tried to shake it off because I really don't want to hurt you but they nag and nag and nag, would you mind if we had a DNA test so I can shove it up their @sses so they leave me alone? And this guy who clearly didn't believe that she cheated, but seemed to have hoped so because he didn't want to be a father. He clearly felt no love for his baby and refused to care for the babe. When she begged him for help he evaded and kept trying to get out of it, and then asked for a DNA test in hopes it wasn't his without thinking it through. Otherwise whatever he saw in random videos wouldn't have had such an impact on him
I'm sorry but make HER understand?! She understands perfectly! You allowed yourself to be manipulated and influenced by people on the internet over a long term relationship. Your life suddenly had a huge change and you were looking for any reason for it to go back to how it used to be, in complete disregard to your family. It would have been easier to explain that you didn't feel a bond to your child, it does happen, but you made it the worst and shattered everything she believed about you and your marriage in one sentence. It isn't about you anymore. And you're still making it about you, ignoring everything she's going through because you think it's an overreaction. So no, you can't really fix this. You apologize and listen to her, but now she has to work through what she feels.
She’s getting her ducks in a row to divorce you. She’d do it now if it was financially possible. When she came to you asking about why you weren’t parenting your child, that was your last chance and you blew it. She only did the dna test because she knew you’d insist on one as part of the divorce and she’s already decided to divorce you. Unlike you, she isn’t stupid.
So first he assumed that the child isn't his and uses that as an excuse to be totally unhelpful. Then demands, without any reason to believe otherwise, that he needs a DNA test before helping. Keeping in mind, that she first had to ask him why he wasn't helping before he threw this curveball in her face. The fact that she could remain calm and collected is a testament to her. She had every right to rage in his ace and walk out. But now that he's proven to be a moron and the father, she can leave him. How stupid can he be?
I would have agreed to a dna test and the second he showed the results is when I would have handed him the divorce papers.
That is also what I would have done, too. What an idiot.
Load More Replies...He was failing his responsibilities and being unsupportive. Then, he was insulting, and hurtful, justifying his behaviour by showing that he had no trust in her. He basicly accused her of cheating without any evidence, or even acknowledging that he was having irrational insecurities. Then he justified that by showing her that he was listening to misogynistic drivel and taking it to heart, so much so that he thinks she should believe it too. Dude has zero self-awareness, zero empathy, and zero chance of fixing his relationship unless he fixes himself first.
What a shame Asking paternity test after 10 year of marriage...That means that the one who is unfaithful is you...and you think that she is equal to you. what a little man you are. Now you will see what it is like to be a father and not be able to have your son close and all thanks to you and your stupidity. It's what you deserve.
I doubt if it would do him any good. A heart transplant might; he sure needs one.
Load More Replies...If he didn't fall in love with the child as soon as it was born, there's something wrong with him. He never wanted a kid, he doesn't actually love his wife, and she's finally figured it out.
Now that is simply not true. It can take a while to bond with your kid and we shouldn't shame people that need a bit of time. It doesn't automatically mean they won't love the child or take good care of them. This guy is just an *sshole. If he had put in the work to bond with the child and take care of it, things wouldn't have been so bad. Sometimes people have intrusive thoughts even though they know it's nonsense and I can imagine wanting to be sure. This just isn't the way to do it. This guy doesn't even seem to realize he's the one that's being irrational /unreasonable..
Load More Replies..."I need verification that this baby is mine" is literally suggesting you're suspecting your partner of being unfaithful, and I for the life of me cannot fathom why some men think that's 'not a big deal'.
I could not have said it any better than MajorasKitten above. OP is the biggest moron ever.
YTA... such a tone deaf toxic masculinity moron. He's obviously NOT the brightest crayon in the box for requesting a DNA test for his kid & unclear as to why his wife don't want to be anywhere near him. After 10 years he had absolutely no solid proof that she cheated but he probably did. I truly hope she divorce this idiot, request full custody as well as child & spousal support. He ruined his marriage because he listened to other idiots on a podcast or videos. It's a shame he reproduced too. 🤭
I knew it was over when she calmly agreed to a DNA test. Men are so obtuse sometimes. "She acted like it wasn't a big deal" "She doesn't even get mad about things she used to complain about any more." "She seems a lot less involved like she used to be." All the classic warning signs of someone who's had enough of your c**p and is now figuring out how to cut ties.
I'm not against the idea of DNA test most just because it can help make sure your kid wasn't swapped in the hospital, but this whole situation is ridiculous. "I explained that I didn't think she had been unfaithful..." Dude, yes you did think that. How tf else would she have a baby that isn't yours? Immaculate conception? Come on. Honestly, the fact he left out so much detail about the build up to this tells me all I need to know.
Whoa...yeah definitely AH material male here. Seriously guy? You asked your wife to take a DNA test to prove you are the father of the child and you cannot understand why she is upset? Talk about offensive. You are the father and yet you are merely the sperm donor in this scenario. Talk about not being father material, nor husband material either. Take your immature, misogynistic, arrogant self and leave now. All I can say is I sincerely hope the mother of your child is making plans for her own future, one that excludes you. She needs a real man, a real husband, a real father. She does not need child/man who has no sense of responsibility.
So, dumb question: why couldn't he just do the DNA test without mentioning it to his wife? I mean, it still shows a lack of trust, but at least he wouldn't be ofending her to her face.
That seems like an even bigger breach of trust, to go behind her back?
Load More Replies..."I just want to be sure, I want a DNA test before I'll contribute as a parent." "I don't think you were unfaithful." These two statements cannot exist together. One is a lie, and his wife absolutely did not deserve to be called a tramp after 10 years of faithfulness. Especially not while exhausted from caring for his child while he purposefully neglected her AND the child.
No, actually, this cognitive dissonance exists in a lot of men who follow incel c**p/misoginist c**p. They don't "think" their partner is cheating, but all the videos say women are, "by nature", gold-digging "wh*res", so they are full of doubt. The videos keep telling them "not to be a cuck and take care of kids that aren't yours" and keep hammering home the idea that "most women" trick men this way. "They want Chad's baby, but they want a sucker to help raise it" is the story they feed. And insecure men devour this steady diet of bovis stercus and start following it. Husband's defense here amounts to: "You see what the bros on the internet were telling me? Most women are like this! They can't help it! I just wanted to make sure, because how bad would it be for me if you were?"
Load More Replies...What a f****n moron! It is astounding how oblivious he is to what he did.
And people whine when I criticize cisgender heterosexual male behaviour. 9_9
We really don't paint ourselves in a good light do we
Load More Replies...I imagine that he would have seen his wife struggling with everything and (even if he hadn't bonded with the kid) he should have helped her. What kind of person sees a new mum struggle and not want to help?! Let alone if it's your own child... bewildered by this man
Exactly! Strangers help pregnant women in public, she was in the house 24/7 and he did nothing, trash, just trash!
Load More Replies...I think if you request a DNA test for your child, you should understand that will be the end of the relationship, period. You're basically saying the mother is a skank and a liar, and most women will not forgive that. If you don't realize this, you are too stupid to parent or be in a relationship.
I m guessing this guy didn't think his wife cheated on him, but instead had the deluded idea that sperm from any man she had been with before him lingers in his wife, and potentially impregnates her long after she had sex with another man. The videos he showed were probably the "science" that explains this. In his twerpy little brain, she doesn't understand how his request for a DNA test isn't him accusing her of infidelity.
What an absolutely lazy, selfish "man". She deserves better and did the right thing leaving.
The irony of being "red-pilled" thus your eyes are "open to the actual world and how it works" but are completely blind to the fact that the a******s pushing this stupidity are grifters and scammers.
What the f did I read? Maybe he's cheating. Maybe he's looking for a way out of this marriage.
Am I the only one who saw the exact same story before, but from the woman's perspective?
She's been with you for a decade and never has given you a reason to suspect her of infidelity and you act all weird around your baby because you're not certain it's yours? Idiot. Yes, you've ruined things. Her reaction with cool detachment is a dead giveaway. She's potentially completely done with you. Gear up for a divorce and child support payments.
I am sure the podcasts tell him to wait until after the baby is born so the mother feels trapped. If he'd asked for the test during the pregnancy she could have left, made other plans, maybe even decided against having the child, but by waiting until she is exhausted and financially more precarious, she's less likely to leave. Glad she's getting out.
What podcast would tell a man with no problems in his marriage or suspicions of cheating to ask her to prove it's his baby? Whatever that podcast is, I would listening.. You've made no attempt to bond with your baby, it looks like you don't love him so of course your wife feels alone. Her expectation of a happy loving family is destroyed. I hope her parents can help her heal.
My Gods I cannot believe this insane f*****t. Firstly he's not even trying to help her let alone pull his weight or look after the baby and support mum. Yet other men are phenomenal step dads. He can't be arsed to look after his own child then uses the pathetic b******t of DNA testing. I wonder if she had known his thoughts if she would have had the baby as you Know if the father of the child is talking like that that you're going to be a single parent before long. What a Complete a**e hole 🤬
Let me see... he didn't think his wife cheated but he still wanted a DNA test? Shouldn't he contact are 51 in that case? I don't blame her for leaving and since he proved he actually didn't want the kid (why else look for reasons not to care?), she should limit contact as well.
if she did cheat in the relationship then id understand him wanting a dna test but his excuses are something even a child wouldnt be dumb enough to try
I was with everyone else when I first read this; “How dare he mistrust her! He should’ve left well alone.” But just now I understood a different perspective. Maybe he was feeling insecure. Maybe her response to his request for the DNA test could’ve been; “Of course darling. I’m sorry you are afraid that I don’t fancy you anymore and have had an affair. How awful for you. Let’s do the test to get us back on an even keel.”
What. Big cruddy jerk! He just didn’t want to help take care of the baby, but refused to say so! He instead asked for a DNA TEST.! ? Even more than moronic! Asking for the DNA test was the stupidest thing he has ever done in his life. He didn’t even go ask his OWN MOTHER , what could be “ wrong” with her! Stupid. Dumb, and selfish. So he watches this random bunch of videos and comes to the conclusion to ask for a DNA test? Wow. He puts the name dumb bunny to shame. He needs to get with it, let her leave, provide more than adequate child support costs, and more than adequate spousal support. This is the least he can do, aside from learning to be a good dad. She has definite grounds for divorce, and breach of contract, for her marriage, and it’s dissolution.
I like how he categorized it as "not that serious". You blew up your marriage because you listened to drivel on podcasts, got your penis in a knot and decided you didn't trust your wife of 10 years with no evidence of infidelity. Yes, you moron, it was serious.
Asking for a DNA test is exactly the same as telling her you don't think the baby is ypurs. Call her a ho whiley you're at it, why don't you. And you don't understand why this would upset and insult her, and what you did wrong? I can scarcely believe anyone with more than two neurones can be so clueless. I would have lost respect for you too. This is not fixable. You can't fix THAT stupid. 🙄
That whole paragraph about if "she could just understand his perspective she will adjust hers" and "it's not that serious so I'm unsure what her issue is"!!! Really?? He IS brainless! Does he really think women are that stupid??
I don't care much for the article. Those are the cutest kūdikiai in the stock photos, BP. :) IMG-171262...238297.jpg
"I didn't think she was being unfaithful but I needed to be sure....".... Just like when I took my driving license and my father didn't let me drive because "it's not that I don't trust you but that's the only car I've got...."
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