Guy Gets Into A Heated Argument With Formerly Poor Friend About Privilege, Rekindles His Friendship
It’s more than normal for every and any friendship to experience a bump in the road.
And if one of the people in said friendship has been on the road for a bit too long, had to get stopped by both the police and the old car’s need to rest, then the bump is amplified by a factor of however much the person views all of the above elements as a problem.
In any case, it piles up and it might start bleeding into their relationships and arguments might ensue. But then there’s the responsibility of keeping it frosty, taking a breather and maybe getting some perspective. Among other things.
More Info: Reddit
A bump in the road can derail any friendship, but it is how the two decide to tackle the bump that will matter in the end
Image credits: Sora Shimazaki (not the actual photo)
A Redditor shared an argument he had with a good friend that turned into an AITA story which then turned into a wholesome lesson in reconciliation
Image credits: u/AncientMesapotamia
And what started off as an argument eventually led to a heart-to-heart, with the help of the Reddit community, and the two friends are now better off
Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio (not the actual photo)
This time around, we have an Am I The A-Hole story that’s unlike most others. Notably because there is a resolution, and one that everyone should take lessons from.
Reddit user u/AncientMesapotamia recently had a bit of an argument with a good friend. The story goes that the two met at a company they both used to work for. Their commiseration over that corporate life brought them closer than ever and they took it from there.
Some time later, OP took a wage dip to $80K per year, trading in the corporate grind for something that has made him happier, healthier, and he rekindled purpose in the work he did. His friend continued climbing the corporate ladder—so successfully, in fact, that he reached $300K heights.
For a bit of context, OP grew up in a very financially stable environment that was considered neither poor nor rich. His friend, however, grew up poor. And so, while jumping from rags to riches is a very positive thing, sometimes our perception and mentality lags behind and needs a reality check to catch up.
So, when OP finally got a chance to snag his dream job, albeit at another $5k dip, his excitement did not translate to his friend. In fact, instead of enthusiasm and support, he was met with a remark about the privilege of being able to take a dip. One thing led to another and the two got into a verbal row and had to take a time out.
Image credits: nappy (not the actual photo)
And all of this led OP to r/AITA. While he did feel angry and defensive—something he remarked spoiled rich kids do—getting a mean remark was uncalled for. But that was before he got some perspective from the community.
Folks were shooting for either not the a-hole, no a-holes here and everyone sucks here. But the general tone of the community, no matter the verdict, was not the typical snarky, get a grip, man! affair, but rather a very civil delivery of feedback.
OP learned a lot from people providing a different perspective, filling in the gaps in how his friend might be feeling and the situation he might be in, providing spot-on insights and speculations.
The friend’s retort, while not the best, at least can be justified by the fact that he is under a lot of stress. It was mentioned that he has dependents, ones that heavily rely on him making a lot of money. Also, the job doesn’t help because corporate grind as a term alone should entail that it’s anything but pleasant. The friend has no choice, he’s stuck for now. And this bit of empathic knowledge was exactly what OP needed.
We see OP responding to some of the commenters, thanking them for the perspective and helping him understand his friend’s predicament better. Soon after, we also get an update to the post that OP got in touch with his friend and they had a heart to heart, apologized to each other, and patched it all up with a plan to go to a game together.
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
And here we are, returning to the topic of communication. In one of our recently published articles, one where a couple talked through their expectations and realities, we have the same paradigm at work here too.
Communication is key in any successful relationship as it puts everyone on the same page and so they can assess situations best within that context. This perfectly ties in with communicating needs—the need to be acknowledged, praised, the need to share good news and be excited about it together, etc.
Talking allows for building quality relationships among friends, all the while pushing away the tide of loneliness. This allows folks to not only gain, but also be able to give emotional support, learning about them along the way. Ultimately, establishing a good relationship can lead to better confidence and self esteem.
Oh, and, nobody can read minds, we’re all very limited in our intuition, so communication of how we feel and think is key in maintaining good relationships.
This is the lesson we can learn from OP: he chose to talk. Two dudes talking is not just a podcast genre—it’s a way of establishing and maintaining a healthy and meaningful relationship with people. And the rewards are immense. So, thanks for the reminder and the lesson, OP!
You can check out the post, which got 8,300 upvotes and generated quite a bit of engagement, in all of its context right here. But before you do that, what are your thoughts about talking it out? Or anything else you’ve read here today? Let us know in the comment section below!
The AITA community was key for the author of the post in getting some very needed perspective on how it wasn’t an entirely NTA situation
This was a nice change of pace with it ending up wholesome and positive.
This was a great story. I myself am guilty of occasionally ;) not having empathy for a person's lot in life, though I do try to catch myself. I have come to realization in life that 95% of arguments come from misunderstandings that evolve with the help of stubbornness because everyone wants to "win" a discussion.
This was a nice change of pace with it ending up wholesome and positive.
This was a great story. I myself am guilty of occasionally ;) not having empathy for a person's lot in life, though I do try to catch myself. I have come to realization in life that 95% of arguments come from misunderstandings that evolve with the help of stubbornness because everyone wants to "win" a discussion.
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