Spaghetti With No Tomato “Essence” Leads Woman To Uncover The Many Lies BF Fed Her
Food is enjoyable and should be enjoyed, even if there is a quirk mixed into it. Preferences in food are very human and very normal. And so, preparing a dish the way you want it should be a non-issue regardless of whether you’re the one prepping it, or asking someone else to do it.
Yet, there’s also a non-zero chance that the person preparing the food for you will not understand why you like the food this way and will proceed to do the opposite, making the situation spiral into chaos.
Everyone has food preferences and that’s cool. What’s not cool, however, is disregarding those preferences
Image credits: Anna Shvets / pexels (not the actual photo)
A woman shared how her now ex-boyfriend refused to make noodles how she wanted and how that spiraled out of control
Image credits: Avery Arwood / pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Ketut Subiyanto / pexels (not the actual photo)
The woman also gave a bit of an update following the initial posting of the story on Reddit
Image credits: Ron Lach / pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: missmiles11
And what began as a simple argument over noodles turned into a spiral of confessions ending the relationship
Some time ago, Redditor missmiles11 shared how her dad always prepared noodles differently for her—he would rinse off the sauce afterwards, giving it an essence of tomato. The sauce itself felt overwhelming.
Well, long story short, her boyfriend never did it—though it seemed like he did for over a year—but one day he started adding salt (well, sarcasm) into the mix, as if to mock this food preference, because he saw how she never noticed the difference.
The relationship ended soon after since this foody argument also led to confessions of cheating, lying and other red flags.
And, well, the Reddit community saw a lot of red flags. On the one hand, they thought OP was acting like a toddler by being upset about rinsing noodles, while the ex also got flak for acting predatory. This is besides the concept of wasting food, being abusive and the like.
In general, the community was either saying that OP is in the wrong, or that both her and the ex sucked.
Image credits: RDNE Stock project / pexels (not the actual photo)
For context, having food quirks aren’t bad—as long as they don’t turn into a bigger problem
As stated above, food is enjoyable and should be enjoyed the way you want it. However, there is a bit of a dangerous line to cross when a quirk turns into an obsession or anything, really, that starts causing more problems than it solves.
Body Image Educator and Self Esteem Coach Anastasia Amour discussed this by sharing one of her own food quirks—she could never finish a meal or a drink or anything. And she never liked when her rice was mixed with other foods.
Doesn’t sound all that problematic, but imagine what happened when once the waiter brought her rice already premixed with curry. And that was after her recovery from her challenges with food. That still sent chills down her spine.
Her food quirks had turned from eccentricities to patterns of fear and anxiety that stigmatized eating and led to ritualistic eating behaviors. And if you’re familiar with the concept of anxiety, you’ll know what a downward spiral that is.
However, not all food quirks are harmful, and even more so if you can manage the effects they have on food insecurities and anxieties. In such a case, enjoy your food however you want.
Image credits: Alena Darmel / pexels (not the actual photo)
Some folks ruled that everyone flat out sucked in this situation, mostly due to wasted food and poor behavior
Others were quick to point fingers at the woman for acting seemingly immature
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I have to wonder if the 'edit' wasn't just to cover up how everyone disagreed with her so she could point and say "See? He IS terrible!" whether or not any of the edit actually happened.
Exactly what it seemed to me. The word vomit of "he did this and that" is not very convincing.
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I'm surprised that she got the correct answer, that he's a creep, a liar, and a user, dump his a*s, when she started from a completely dumbassed position herself. The "tomato essense" on noodles thing is such a picky-six-year-old thing to demand. Girl has a lot of growing up to do.
That might be, but the question was not "Do I have to eat like you guys want it?" but "am I right that one has a right to be treated with honesty and respect?".
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Some picky food issues can survive into adulthood, but this is clearly not one of them (or should not be, I mean). Couldn't somebody have sat her down at some point with a plate of plain pasta vs some that had had sauce washed off? Blind tasting. If she doesn't want sauce then that's fine, but insisting on it getting washed off, especially given that she quite obviously could no tell the difference, is just too much.
That would have been a better idea for BF to do instead of lying to her about it for 3 years.
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This girl is absolutely ridiculous and desperately needs therapy. Sure he's a jerk but she's the idiot who picked him.
Did anyone else note that she was only 17 when she started dating him? And moving in together before Covid so they could be together-quarantined? Not saying the guy is a creep, but that explains the staggering level of entitlement and immaturity here. Her parents pay the rent for the apartment too.
The fact that she made edits to the post but she didn't acknowledge at all her mistake but only pointed out what she found about her boyfriend doesn't sit right with me. She clearly still thinks that there's nothing wrong with her behavior. Whatever her boyfriend did if he did is wrong and he's an AH for that but it remains unrelated to her stupid pretentions. If I had her issue, so much that you couldn't talk me out of it, I would even be grateful he cured my stupid habit
Aaaaaaaaaand!!! Let's not forget in her first edit she even talked about her pouring the sauce down the drain out of spite. What the f**k. Entitled brat
Load More Replies...
If her dad actually washed off the sauce that is disgusting. And I have so many questions? She never went to the CVS her boyfriend worked at.? Her boyfriend was cheating on her. She found all of this out because of plain pasta?
He could have handled that better and in a more mature way - but he has a point that her eating behaviour is ridiculous if she demands to wash the sauce off the Pasta. In all honesty there are better ways to get a slight tomato flavour than wasting one or several servings of food. (Dried grinded tomato + oil). Can't judge the other stuff, but both are probably not very pleasent to live with
She admitted it was a fake in another comment. "Btw y'all the story was 100% fake. I was just bored during my last semester of college and wrote it to see if people would buy it. I was planning on saying it was fake at the end but felt bad when some people actually seemed concerned. Like I thought the "he's not a pharmacist, he just works at CVS" would give it away, but guess not lol."
We hear about some really dumb things on Bored Panda, this is no exception.
The bf is awful for other reasons but op is ridiculous with her pasta nonsense. I recommend dealing with that before getting a new boyfriend.
I assumed her noodles were stained from the sauce and therefore still had some flavor. But if she didn't question plain white pasta then I doubt her dad was wasting sauce either. Don't know why Dad wouldn't be honest with her. Bigger issue is that a 17yo moved in with a 23yo and her parents have been paying their rent for 3 years. The guy is a predator and found an easy mark to abuse.
Has she ever considered that she just doesn't *like* spaghetti? There's nothing wrong with that, but the song and dance with the wastefulness of it just to pretend you like something you clearly don't is ridiculous. And when she gave the ages and timeframe,,especially *moving in* at 17 - 23, huge red flags popping up there that are far more alarming. The "I'll do the food stuff and you do all the cleaning" is also ridiculous.
Sounds like 'essence of tomato' means OP ate plain noodles and was able to smell the sauce on everyone else's. So Daddy (where was Mommy?) not only exploited a spoiled princess by lying to her about trivial things, he ensured her continued naiveté. Just imagine this scenario multiplied by all the other everyday lessons she didn't learn. Then Daddy pays for an apartment for totally unvetted 23 yr old to prey upon 17 year old when they just started dating so they could share lockdown. And because Princess is so gullible, she believes anything Predator boyfriend tells her and of course he takes full advantage! Princess was doomed from the start. ESH, beginning with Princess's parents who literally fed her to the wolf.
Rinsing sauce off pasta???!!! Heresy f'n located!!! Not sorry about this, but how in the heck do you just waste good sauce like that, especially since a good bottle of sauce isn't anywhere near cheap. Might as well just feed her instant noodles as is, without any sauce or seasoning. Ex is also a POS, for all the lying and infidelity, but wasting good pasta sauce out of spite??? Heresy f'n located AGAIN!!! Good powers above, these two don't deserve each other but also shouldn't be in relationships until they both do some soul-searching and growing up. Jeez!!! -_-"
Wow they both sound awful but glad she dumped the creepy child-predator
Being a grown a*s adult .and saying you're a picky eater isin't cute, it's insufferable, you sound like a toddler, grow up, make your own noodles, and try being an adult, you're just mad because your BF called you on your ridiculous BS, and now you look like the clown you are, and stop looking to the internet for validation and attention. Also weird that you are 20, he is 26 and you have been together for 3 years? So you were a minor and he was 23? Gross.
In house we leave the noodles and sauce separate and people can serve themselves the amount of sauce they want. So this whole thing is stupid.
FWIW, the sauce does soak into the pasta a bit, so they are slightly reddish and probably have a hint of tomato-flavor. I'll try (with just a couple noodles) the next time I make spaghetti to test this. Which is why, actually, I think the post is a fake, because no way would you NOT notice.
Here is where I think the "essence of tomato" comes from. I presume that both growing up and with her boyfriend, the other people at the table were eating pasta with the sauce on. I suspect the kitchen cooking smell and the "fully sauced" (two words I never thought I'd put together) pasta on the same table are responsible for that "essence". We do taste with our nose too. Isn't there a gimmicky water bottle with fragrance in the cap but tap water inside? Did I dream that one?
I dont care one bit about the tomato's here. Im stuck on the fact that this guy started grooming her when she was 17 and he was 23. That is freaking creepy chi-mo sh*t. Shes 20, barely an adult by todays standards. she has a lot of learning to do and not with some creepy dude.
They both are horrible people. "Get thee to a nunnery." You both deserve to be forever alone. I hate liars but I couldn't even be in a room with her! I'm imagining the worst sorts of abuse and laughing at it happening to her.
Just a side comment. Spaghetti is pasta not noodles. Pasta is European & made from wheat flour. Noodles are Asian & made from rice flour.
I have to wonder if the 'edit' wasn't just to cover up how everyone disagreed with her so she could point and say "See? He IS terrible!" whether or not any of the edit actually happened.
Exactly what it seemed to me. The word vomit of "he did this and that" is not very convincing.
Load More Replies... I'm surprised that she got the correct answer, that he's a creep, a liar, and a user, dump his a*s, when she started from a completely dumbassed position herself. The "tomato essense" on noodles thing is such a picky-six-year-old thing to demand. Girl has a lot of growing up to do.
That might be, but the question was not "Do I have to eat like you guys want it?" but "am I right that one has a right to be treated with honesty and respect?".
Load More Replies... Some picky food issues can survive into adulthood, but this is clearly not one of them (or should not be, I mean). Couldn't somebody have sat her down at some point with a plate of plain pasta vs some that had had sauce washed off? Blind tasting. If she doesn't want sauce then that's fine, but insisting on it getting washed off, especially given that she quite obviously could no tell the difference, is just too much.
That would have been a better idea for BF to do instead of lying to her about it for 3 years.
Load More Replies... This girl is absolutely ridiculous and desperately needs therapy. Sure he's a jerk but she's the idiot who picked him.
Did anyone else note that she was only 17 when she started dating him? And moving in together before Covid so they could be together-quarantined? Not saying the guy is a creep, but that explains the staggering level of entitlement and immaturity here. Her parents pay the rent for the apartment too.
The fact that she made edits to the post but she didn't acknowledge at all her mistake but only pointed out what she found about her boyfriend doesn't sit right with me. She clearly still thinks that there's nothing wrong with her behavior. Whatever her boyfriend did if he did is wrong and he's an AH for that but it remains unrelated to her stupid pretentions. If I had her issue, so much that you couldn't talk me out of it, I would even be grateful he cured my stupid habit
Aaaaaaaaaand!!! Let's not forget in her first edit she even talked about her pouring the sauce down the drain out of spite. What the f**k. Entitled brat
Load More Replies... If her dad actually washed off the sauce that is disgusting. And I have so many questions? She never went to the CVS her boyfriend worked at.? Her boyfriend was cheating on her. She found all of this out because of plain pasta?
He could have handled that better and in a more mature way - but he has a point that her eating behaviour is ridiculous if she demands to wash the sauce off the Pasta. In all honesty there are better ways to get a slight tomato flavour than wasting one or several servings of food. (Dried grinded tomato + oil). Can't judge the other stuff, but both are probably not very pleasent to live with
She admitted it was a fake in another comment. "Btw y'all the story was 100% fake. I was just bored during my last semester of college and wrote it to see if people would buy it. I was planning on saying it was fake at the end but felt bad when some people actually seemed concerned. Like I thought the "he's not a pharmacist, he just works at CVS" would give it away, but guess not lol."
We hear about some really dumb things on Bored Panda, this is no exception.
The bf is awful for other reasons but op is ridiculous with her pasta nonsense. I recommend dealing with that before getting a new boyfriend.
I assumed her noodles were stained from the sauce and therefore still had some flavor. But if she didn't question plain white pasta then I doubt her dad was wasting sauce either. Don't know why Dad wouldn't be honest with her. Bigger issue is that a 17yo moved in with a 23yo and her parents have been paying their rent for 3 years. The guy is a predator and found an easy mark to abuse.
Has she ever considered that she just doesn't *like* spaghetti? There's nothing wrong with that, but the song and dance with the wastefulness of it just to pretend you like something you clearly don't is ridiculous. And when she gave the ages and timeframe,,especially *moving in* at 17 - 23, huge red flags popping up there that are far more alarming. The "I'll do the food stuff and you do all the cleaning" is also ridiculous.
Sounds like 'essence of tomato' means OP ate plain noodles and was able to smell the sauce on everyone else's. So Daddy (where was Mommy?) not only exploited a spoiled princess by lying to her about trivial things, he ensured her continued naiveté. Just imagine this scenario multiplied by all the other everyday lessons she didn't learn. Then Daddy pays for an apartment for totally unvetted 23 yr old to prey upon 17 year old when they just started dating so they could share lockdown. And because Princess is so gullible, she believes anything Predator boyfriend tells her and of course he takes full advantage! Princess was doomed from the start. ESH, beginning with Princess's parents who literally fed her to the wolf.
Rinsing sauce off pasta???!!! Heresy f'n located!!! Not sorry about this, but how in the heck do you just waste good sauce like that, especially since a good bottle of sauce isn't anywhere near cheap. Might as well just feed her instant noodles as is, without any sauce or seasoning. Ex is also a POS, for all the lying and infidelity, but wasting good pasta sauce out of spite??? Heresy f'n located AGAIN!!! Good powers above, these two don't deserve each other but also shouldn't be in relationships until they both do some soul-searching and growing up. Jeez!!! -_-"
Wow they both sound awful but glad she dumped the creepy child-predator
Being a grown a*s adult .and saying you're a picky eater isin't cute, it's insufferable, you sound like a toddler, grow up, make your own noodles, and try being an adult, you're just mad because your BF called you on your ridiculous BS, and now you look like the clown you are, and stop looking to the internet for validation and attention. Also weird that you are 20, he is 26 and you have been together for 3 years? So you were a minor and he was 23? Gross.
In house we leave the noodles and sauce separate and people can serve themselves the amount of sauce they want. So this whole thing is stupid.
FWIW, the sauce does soak into the pasta a bit, so they are slightly reddish and probably have a hint of tomato-flavor. I'll try (with just a couple noodles) the next time I make spaghetti to test this. Which is why, actually, I think the post is a fake, because no way would you NOT notice.
Here is where I think the "essence of tomato" comes from. I presume that both growing up and with her boyfriend, the other people at the table were eating pasta with the sauce on. I suspect the kitchen cooking smell and the "fully sauced" (two words I never thought I'd put together) pasta on the same table are responsible for that "essence". We do taste with our nose too. Isn't there a gimmicky water bottle with fragrance in the cap but tap water inside? Did I dream that one?
I dont care one bit about the tomato's here. Im stuck on the fact that this guy started grooming her when she was 17 and he was 23. That is freaking creepy chi-mo sh*t. Shes 20, barely an adult by todays standards. she has a lot of learning to do and not with some creepy dude.
They both are horrible people. "Get thee to a nunnery." You both deserve to be forever alone. I hate liars but I couldn't even be in a room with her! I'm imagining the worst sorts of abuse and laughing at it happening to her.
Just a side comment. Spaghetti is pasta not noodles. Pasta is European & made from wheat flour. Noodles are Asian & made from rice flour.
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