Man Is “Strongly Considering Divorce” After Realizing His Wife’s Affair Was Worse Than He Thought

Few things will rock your relationship as drastically as cheating. The person who has been betrayed might be incredibly confused about their partner’s motives, and the cheating partner may be racked with guilt over their actions. It takes a lot of work to repair a marriage that’s been tainted by infidelity, and it requires full honesty from both parties. 

One man reached out to Reddit for advice after a bombshell was dropped on him about his wife. He knew that she had cheated, but he had no idea how deep her affair went until years later. Below, you’ll find all of the details that he shared online, as well as some of the replies concerned readers left him.

This man was determined to repair his marriage after finding out that his wife had cheated

Man sitting on couch looking distressed while wife sits upset and distant in the background after cheating revelation.

Image credits: prostock-studio (not the actual image)

But when more details about her affair emerged years later, he began to rethink their entire relationship

Man learns two years later his wife’s cheating wasn’t just one drunken night, struggling to rebuild trust again.

Text excerpt explaining a man recalling his wife’s cheating incident during a housewarming party late at night.

Text excerpt about a wife quitting her job after confessing infidelity, related to man discovering cheating after two years.

Text describing a man discovering his wife’s cheating was more than just one drunken night after two years.

Man learns wife’s cheating wasn’t just one drunken night, uncovering truth two years later in their relationship.

Hand signing a contract next to two gold wedding rings symbolizing cheating discovery and relationship trust issues.

Image credits: Burdun (not the actual image)

Text discussing a post-nup agreement including an infidelity clause with penalties for cheating during a divorce.

Text about legal advice on asset split favoring cheater in a spouse cheating case discovered two years later.

Text describing a man discovering his wife’s cheating was not just one drunken night, revealed after two years.

Man discovers his wife’s cheating was ongoing, not just one drunken night, revealing long-term betrayal and secrets.

Text excerpt describing a man discovering his wife’s cheating involved a physical affair lasting five months.

Man sitting on couch looking shocked and confused while reading a message on his smartphone about wife’s cheating.

Image credits: user25451090 (not the actual image)

Text excerpt expressing feelings about a prolonged affair and deliberate choices in a cheating relationship.

Text describing a man discovering his wife’s cheating was not just one drunken night after two years of suspicion.

Text excerpt showing a man reflecting on discovering his wife’s repeated cheating over a two-year period.

Text excerpt about remorse and confession reflecting on a spouse’s cheating and lack of full disclosure.

Text about considering divorce after discovering wife’s cheating, showing emotional struggle and broken trust over 2 years.

Image credits: ThrowRA661155

About one in five people have cheated on a partner

When a couple gets married, they should take their vows extremely seriously. By committing to be someone’s husband or wife, you’re promising to stand by their side during all of life’s challenges. It’s natural for any relationship to have ups and downs, and as much as we might not like to admit it, everyone faces temptations. But if you’re serious about your marriage and loving your partner, it’s important to always choose them first.

Unfortunately, however, we know that plenty of people betray their vows at some point. Life is complicated, and humans certainly aren’t perfect. PR Newswire reports that 23% of men and 19% of women have cheated on a partner at some point. And over two thirds of men, as well as 53% of women, who have cheated on their spouse have done so more than once.

When it comes to why wives cheat on their husbands, women cite a variety of reasons. Angela Skurtu, M.Ed, LMFT, told Brides that one reason for this is that women have a lot of expectations for their marriages. 

“We expect happiness, [intimacy], best friends, and more out of it,” Skurtu explains. “We have put a lot of pressure on marriage when it wasn’t originally designed to meet all your needs.” 

Meanwhile, it can be challenging for women to accept that their relationship will change over time. 

“We tend now to seek a partner who can match one’s sense of emotional intelligence, intellectual curiosity, career achievements, general outlook on life and desire for a certain lifestyle, as well as [physical] compatibility and interest, all of which are extremely difficult to sustain as our life stage and roles evolve over time,” psychotherapist Christie Kim, LMHC, LPC, told Brides. 

Repairing a marriage after infidelity requires effort from both spouses

The stress of life, feeling dissatisfied in the marriage, having low-self esteem, feeling a lack of excitement, feeling lonely, or having a midlife crisis can all contribute to a woman’s desire to cheat. She might also just take advantage of an opportunity to cheat that’s come her way, or she may be trying to dumb painful feelings.

However, none of these excuses justify betraying a partner. They may explain the behavior, but there’s no question that being cheated on can be a devastating experience for the other spouse to go through.  

Repairing a marriage after infidelity is never easy. In fact, between 20% and 40% of divorces are linked to cheating. So if you want to move past this, it’s going to take plenty of effort from both spouses. 

Because of this, the Mayo Clinic recommends not making any decisions right away. It can be hard to think clearly when you’ve just been hit with earth-shattering information like the news of an affair. Take time to process, and don’t make any rash decisions.

At the same time, the spouse who has cheated must take accountability for their actions. If they don’t show remorse and prove to their partner that it will never happen again, there’s no chance of saving the marriage. 

It’s usually a good idea to seek professional counseling as well. Getting advice from an experienced therapist or counselor can help both partners communicate clearly and understand how to rebuild their relationship. The most crucial piece of the puzzle is repairing trust. So if both parties commit to doing so, the marriage stands a chance. If not, it might be time to call it quits.  

Readers shared some harsh truths with the author, noting that it’ll be impossible to ever trust his wife again

Reddit user discusses discovering his wife’s cheating involved a multi-month affair and the impact on their marriage and trust.

Comment discussing a man uncovering the truth about his wife's cheating long after the initial incident.

Man discovers his wife’s cheating involved repeated lies over two years, not just one drunken night incident.

Online text post discussing a man discovering his wife’s cheating involved multiple affairs, not one night.

Comment discussing divorce advice after discovering wife’s cheating and the impact of a prenuptial agreement.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing trust and lying related to a wife’s cheating and infidelity situation.

Screenshot of a forum comment discussing a post-nup deal and the implications of a wife’s cheating affecting property division.

Screenshot of an online comment discussing a man discovering his wife’s cheating was not just one drunken night.

Comment text on screen saying Even her remorse was deception in a plain white background, relating to wife’s cheating revealed years later.

Comment text on social media revealing a man’s discovery of multiple instances of his wife’s cheating over two years.

Comment discussing a man who discovers years later that his wife’s cheating was more than just one drunken night.

Comment discussing a man discovering his wife's cheating was more than just one drunken night after two years.

Text post discussing a man’s discovery of his wife’s prolonged cheating beyond one drunken night.

Comment text on a white background about love and cheating, advising to cut losses and start over when trust is broken.

Comment section showing user sillymanbilly discussing a man finding out about his wife’s cheating after two years.

Comment describing a man discovering his wife’s cheating involved multiple partners, revealing hidden truths years later.

Screenshot of an online discussion about a man discovering his wife’s cheating wasn’t just one drunken night.

Comment revealing man finds out two years later about wife's cheating and ongoing affair beyond a single drunken night.

Comment discussing how a man was manipulated by his wife's prolonged cheating and ongoing lies over two years.

Reddit comment discussing infidelity, lies, and emotional impact of cheating in a troubled marriage after years of deception.

Alt text: man finds out wife’s cheating wasn’t just one night, revealing lies and false compatibility in their relationship

Man reads emotional message about wife’s cheating and the impact on family and finances years later.

Comment discussing a man finding out years later about his wife's cheating beyond one drunken night.

Reddit comment discussing a man discovering his wife’s cheating was more than just one drunken night.

Comment discussing emotional turmoil caused by a man finding out his wife’s cheating was not just one drunken night.

Comment advising a man to talk to his lawyer after discovering his wife’s cheating involved multiple months, not one night.

Man shocked discovering years later that his wife’s cheating involved more than one drunken night.

Comment discussing a man discovering his wife’s cheating was more than one drunken night, focusing on manipulation and trust issues.

Screenshot of a comment saying you will never be able to trust her again about wife's cheating revealed two years later.

Comment discussing a man realizing his wife’s cheating was more than just one drunken night, in a social media thread.

Reddit comment discussing a man discovering his wife’s cheating wasn’t just one drunken night, urging divorce advice.

Man discovering his wife’s cheating was not just a single drunken night, revealing manipulation and betrayal.

Reddit comment warning about forgiving a cheater, discussing consequences of wife’s cheating discovered years later.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment warning that cheaters will always cheat again, advising preparation for divorce.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment congratulating the original poster on fully owning his house amid revelations of wife’s cheating.

Screenshot of a comment addressing a man discovering his wife’s cheating wasn’t just one drunken night after two years.

Man reacts emotionally after discovering his wife’s cheating extended beyond one drunken night, revealing deeper betrayal.

Comment discussing a man discovering his wife’s cheating was a long-term secret, not a one-time incident.

Comment discussing a man discovering his wife’s cheating and the impact on trust after two years.

Comment discussing trust issues after a man finds out his wife’s cheating was more than one drunken night.

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