Woman Leaves Party After Enduring Insensitive Jokes About Her Being A Gymnast, Gets Slammed By Boyfriend For “Overreacting”
The majority will probably agree that friendships are among life’s greatest blessings.
They help us build lifelong connections with people who share our values and interests, and they prevent loneliness and impact our overall well-being. Friends are always there for one another. They provide support whenever life kicks you in the back of the knees while also remembering to celebrate every achievement, no matter how big or small.
In other words, having a buddy by your side – whether it’s to enjoy each other’s company while watching the most generic cooking show or to get together on some random night and vent like there’s no tomorrow – is sure to cure your blues in no time.
However, it’s important to remember that just because you’ve known someone your entire life, this doesn’t suggest they deserve special treatment. People can be wrong, and while, at times, it’s tough to see, when someone close to you points out that they’re feeling uncomfortable, perhaps you should listen.
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Sometimes the most important skill one can possess is knowing when to stop
Image credits: Ricardo Liberato (not the actual image)
“AITA for leaving a party and embarrassing my boyfriend in the process when he didn’t shut down a comment his friend made?” – this woman turned to one of Reddit’s most popular communities wondering whether she was wrong to leave a party after hearing heaps of demeaning comments from her boyfriend’s pals. The post has managed to receive nearly 11K upvotes, as well as 1.9K comments discussing the audacity of some folks.
Woman gets backed online for storming off after her boyfriend failed to shut down inappropriate remarks made by his friends
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The 25-year-old woman began her post by unveiling that she’s a retired professional gymnast who now coaches other would-be gymnasts. She’s been seeing her boyfriend for about a year; however, he works in programming rather than sports.
The lovebirds recently attended a house party, and the woman believed it would be the perfect chance for her boyfriend to introduce her to everyone at once, as she had only met a handful of his friends so far.
The majority of his buddies were great – however, a few started making rather inappropriate remarks once they found out about the author’s profession.
Image credits: Split the Kipper (not the actual image)
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The woman was pretty uncomfortable, but her boyfriend just laughed along with them. She tried to stand her ground, telling his pals that she didn’t like such talk and that it degraded her profession, but they urged her to relax and said that it was only a silly joke. The comments continued until the author couldn’t handle it anymore and told her partner that she was leaving.
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The author rebuffed the man’s attempts to stop her, telling him that now that she was gone, his friends could enjoy their “speculations.” He kept texting her, saying she overreacted, embarrassed him, and even that she should’ve expected those kinds of comments. She acknowledged that she typically has a better attitude in these situations because she’s had to deal with a lot of sexualization, which, regrettably, goes along with being a gymnast; however, she was already under pressure to make a good impression, so it ended up bothering her.
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Image credits: Giuseppe Milo (not the actual image)
Needless to say, the woman opted not to respond to the texts since she didn’t feel ready to continue the conversation without getting into an argument. She felt bad for embarrassing her boyfriend in front of his pals, but at the end of the day, it was them who chose to continue with their nonsense.
What do you think about this?
Fellow community members shared their thoughts on this situation
Although this word can be overused, I’m surprised no one brought up how quickly he went straight to gaslighting her. She was being sexually harassed by his friends, she made it clear it was unacceptable, he refused to step in, so she removed herself from the abuse. And what was his response? Make himself the victim. Of embarrassment. Downplaying her right to feel harassed & blaming her for how he was made to feel. He’s a turd and this is a really good indicator of how he’s always going to react and respond to her & her feelings. I imagine if she were to look back of the past ten months she’s be able to find other indicators of this, but love is really blind on the honeymoon/romancing phase.
So much this. "You embarrassed me in front of my friends" is a giant red flag, and absolute gaslighting behaviour.
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LADIES PLEASE NOTE: If a guy is really into you, he will not, I repeat NOT, allow his friends to think of you as a sexual object. If your boyfriend EVER lets his buddies so much as consider you in a sexual way, you are nothing but a booty call. Yup that's right, you're the fish they have no intention of keeping. Please don't waste your time. Move on. The one your looking for will shut that $h!% down.
And what kind of assholes talk like that? To somebody, they've just met??
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Your BF said that you should expect sexually harassing comments. He has proven that he will allow you to be humiliated in public, and join his friends in laughing at you. Honestly, do you really need to know anything more about him?
Exactly. It may feel like a wasted 10 months, but thank goodness it didn't go any further. Could you imagine the best man's speech at the wedding?
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Isn’t it a basic human decency to drop the topic when someone (especially new to the group) expresses they’re not comfortable and don’t wish to expand on it?
Totally. This was a huge red flag. Hoping OP dumped him soon after.
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Dump the man child and do yourself a big favour by ending it. No one should have to “put up with” degrading comments ffs
Passing off nasty/crude comments as "just a joke" is a MASSIVE red flag, get rid of this guy. If he allows his friends to abuse you, he's next.
He values his status with his friends more than his girlfriend. There's no need to back up OP's feelings with arguments on harrassment cases in the past - he's a d**k and he acted like a d**k to her, that's all the argument OP needs. I'm willing to bet he's been boasting about her sexually behind her back to them as well. The next step is that she'll be physically harrassed at some point as well and he'll do nothing as 'you kinda had it coming with your gymnast body'. Leave this sad excuse and find an actual partner.
When guys show you what they are like, believe them. He showed you he was ok with his friends treating you like sh*t and expects you to take their sexual harassment. This is who he is. Meeting the friends is often an inflection point in a relationship because in many ways, a person’s friends say a lot about them and now you know. Cut this guy loose.
Explain to him how it upset you. Then dump him. Any man that won't stand up for the honor of his girl isn't worth it. Sorry. Locker room Talk in front of a girl you like is rude af.
I used to ride horses for a living. The amount of people (both men and women) who made offensive sexualized jokes about my profession was astounding. Trust me folks, NO woman is receiving sexual pleasure from sitting on a horse. Don't be a perv!
In Vino Veritas - if they try and claim it was because they were drunk, what they really mean is that it loosened their tongues enough to spill what they were actually thinking. And thank goodness for that. At least you now know what kind of man child you were having a relationship with. There are some things you can come back from, and some that you definitely can't. This was definitely the latter.
NTA. Also, if I learned that someone was a gymnast, my first thought would be "I bet they'd make a good assassin."
Disgusting behaviour. If he was a real man, he would have stood up for his girlfriend and shut down their immature nonsense out of humanity and respect. Dump his a*s.
Yes. Was it too hard for him to say “My girlfriend doesn’t like your jokes. It’s not funny. Stop.” Or was he bragging for the past few months. Making jokes himself?
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I'm not a gymnast myself, but I encountered this back in 1975. A guy I worked with was amiable and I enjoyed talking to him, and then one day the subject of Olga Korbut and her stellar performance at the 1972 Olympics came up. I was talking about how impressive her skills were, then the guy nods and says, "Yes, she would make a wonderful wife." I knew instantly what he was implying, but was damned if I would ask him to clarify. So before I could change the subject, he just repeated it: "Yes, she would make a wonderful wife." Dirtbag.
You deserve way better than that and as a women to another you should be so proud of yourself for walking out on that circus of clowns cause not a lot of woman woulda had the gall to do it and woulda just brushed it off to keep the peace with the bf and that is no way to live you showed him your your own women and won't and don't need to tolerate that bs if anything I think you handled that situation with grace and class you as many commented on here proved your not his toy or joke for amusement to his friends and that he doesn't control you unlike him being a man's man you showed him your your own woman 💯👏
Thank God you went to that party and his friends said what they said and he did what he did! Being gaslighting you and playing the victim cause at least now you know where you stand in the sense of importance and priority in his life if his friends where that comfortable putting you in the spotlight like that and making sexual remarks and assumptions to the point that you felt embarrassed uneasy and uncomfortable basically sexually harassed indirecly joke or not amd told them to stop and they continued and did nothing than you can only guess those are the jokes and dirty things he says with his friends behind your back especially if they felt that comfortable saying it to someone that is a complete stranger that shows how little respect he has for you and pretty much shows how immature he is for his age I know many will argue but he Is a man that's men's talk ! They where drunk maybe! It was a joke! Doesn't matter cause even if it's men talk a real man knows not to speak of such thing
This doesn't sound like a person you should get attached to unless he wakes up and realizes he's TA.
I like a good joke, but this is abuse. I myself try not to make jokes about someone unless they themselves make the jokes first, even then there are boundaries. Sexualizing children is a definite no-no because it is just not right. I have a son and I am teaching him to respect everyone around him unless they do not truly deserve it, like people like Nassar. I will also not force my son and any future child into a life like sports, modeling, etc. If I ever have a daughter, I don't know what I'll do because if SHE wants to be a gymnast or a dancer, I would always worry because of people like OP's boyfriend.
As a male that is pan ive had to set boundaries even with other men. If you had made the joke its one thing but as soon and i mean the second you felt uncomfortable and it was obvious to him you were, he should have said something. Its not even limited to male or female but he is supposed to have your back. I lost a few friends defending my ex gf when guys kept saying really gross stuff to her at work (we all worked together) but i did not lose any sleep over losing said "friends". It doesnt matter if you were dating or not but if something clearly makes you uncomfortable and they just laugh with them, it is not ok...they chose to be that way because they were too afraid to stand up for what is right. Big red flag! Where does it end? He clearly would rather brag his gf is flexible or hot or w.e than care about her actual emotions. Thats not a partner thats just some one using you for social status...f that! Run! This was just a preview for whats to come!
She in no way in the wrong they were disrespectful and demeaning. She even spoke up instead of smiling and laughing about it to shrug it off. Her bf of almost a year should have at the very least respected her as a person enough acknowledge her feelings and her as a person instead of casually going along with the objectification rather than speak up for someone he should have supported and cared for her feelings instead of swallowing them for the comfort of a party with no business peering into that part of her life and far from shining a spotlight in such a public manner. A sheer lack of respect and callus behavior on his part.
Nta. Not a good sign for the relationship. I get that guys like to brag & crack jokes but real men don't allow other men to talk or joke about their wife, sister, mom or girlfriend in any kind of 😏 sexual way. Especially not in front of her-that's demeaning & degrading.
The "boyfriend" is no friend at all. He and his crowd are very immature and extremely creepy. They don't belong in any woman's life. If he's 29 and acting like that I don't think there is any hope for him. Get out now because his attitude will only get worse.
Dump him. That is all. I'm sick of ppl overlooking shyt and then say you embarrassed them at your boiling point. WTF you think was happening before walking out. This legitimately angers me. Dump him. He is an insensitive jerk and thinks its okay to stomp on your feelings or views for a laugh with his loser buddies. Were their GFs there..let me get they were single 🙄
Sadly this guy will not learn anything. He's just a waste of resources, and probably sexually harassed the females he works with himself. I'm so sick of males thinking it's alright to treat women like this, I wish women would band together and just all together stop sleeping with men to prove a point. If we we have a no shave November for beards and stuff, can we have a month of sexual abstinence? Problem is males have become so barbaric when it comes to sex, sex crimes would probably rise.
-infront of a lady and his lady least of all and would put even his friends in check letting them know where you and them stand In the rank of things especially if he is looking to be in a long term serious relationship if anything his behavior saved you from much more heartache in distant future with him cause his actions prove he is a man's man meaning his friends their opinion and his ego come first before any woman's feelings cause remember he felt embarrassed and that isn't normal not after he saw and clearly understood why the convo was inappropriate and why u felt offended my opinion his friends are creeps/pervs for approaching u in that manner without knowing you personally. he is still in that self absorbed teen mindset with an ego the size of Jupiter who has to look cool infront of his friends. Personally I think you should tell him to lose your number and block him that whole scenario is a red flag if he was really sorry he'd put his friends in check infront of you.--
If you have been hurt/embarrassed by someone’s comments and your significant other chooses to berate you rather than comfort you (or stand up for you), then you need to dump them and find someone else. They obviously don’t care about you as much as you thought.
OP~ dump the boyfriend. He should have had your back and shut his friends down right from the start. Him texting you about how you embarrassed him, makes me want to reach through my computer screen in time and space and smack the ever lovin' c**p outta him for you. Dump him. He's an immature AH and you deserve better.
See alot of huge RED FLAGS. End this. This won't stop. He is just like his friends. They have insulted you and you will get no I'm sorry. You will and have gotten alot of laughs at your expense behind your back.
A man is known by the company he keeps. Your BF is probably just as bad as his friends when you're not around. I have found this to be true of the men I've dated. My husband doesn't tolerate this kind of behavior from his friends. He ended a friendship with a guy he'd known since childhood over a domestic violence incident. You can do better.
So first off allow me to apologize on behalf of the male half of our shared species because you are in no way shape or form the a*****e in this situation. Your boyfriend is not only the a*****e but a punk and a lame for not immediately having your back and shutting his so called friends down... I imagine the reason he didn't is because this inappropriate friend is the "alpha" of their friendship... So your boyfriend just goes along with what said friend does or says... When u not only shut him down but shut him down in a way that made this inappropriate friend look like a complete a*****e and u explained why u didn't like those types of jokes in a way that everyone in listening distance could empathize with (regardless of wether they are willing to admit or not) u showed that he isn't the only alpha in the room... In my experience most male alpha's (at least the one's who haven't fully matured) find few things as threatening as a female who won't bow down... And then on top of that
Ditch him and his gagamaggot friends. Significant others are supposed to defend and protect each other! This guy did neither and joined in the harassment. The entire lot are Definitely TAHs here! I feel like I need shower with germicidal soap just reading that! You are NOT TAH! They're all gross and disgusting and need to grow TF UP! IMO Gymnasts (and dancers) have always been amazingly strong, graceful and poised! These idiots, on the other hand, are over grown frat-rats.
You wouldn't be saying that in front my husband that's all I can say. Real men stick up to nonsense like this. That would be the last time they made that comment. Find a better partner.
Why not stick up for yourself? Should you man have to do it for you? Then run away crying like a child that's real adult. I agree they should have dropped it but since they did not you just let them win by getting under your skin. Have a little backbone stand up for yourself! Again don't agree with the harassment but I would have thrown the sexual stuff back at them "Not like you would ever will find out!" Knock them down a peg show you have gull and they leave you alone.
I don't see why the only possible outcomes are: 1. Her boyfriend standing up the her 2. Her storming out 3. Sucking up the whole harassment Why does it never occur to people that they can actually stand up for themselves and they are not some pet or inferior being. I've been in similar situation before and I just expressed my annoyance. Do what what my bf did? He shut up because he knew I would be offended if he assumed I am unable to speak for myself and I would expect him to do it on my behalf.
Personally think OP needs to find the humor in friends joking around. Should he had said, "ok, that enough boy" yes, IMO, but I think she WAY OVERREACTED. Get the feeling she's likely to have issues with a bunch of different topics as well. Actual harrassment is one thing, but losing your s**t over some joking and storming off makes you the a*****e.
You may think it is one sided and that she over reacted, you are allowed your opinion. I don't know any women who talk like that, personally, but I'm sure there are. Hopefully though, they wouldn't do it in front of the person they are actually talking about and if they did and were asked to stop that they would. I do wonder though, what exactly you think was wrong in how she handled it. She has answered a few of the earlier posts on the original forum so hasn't just planted a bit of click bait, stirred things up and gone. He didn't need to 'flip out' on his friends as you put it. I don't think anyone actually suggested challenging them to a dual to defend his ladies honour. As for noticing she was uncomfortable, she said she was and asked them to stop. Is that not enough of a clue for him?
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Although this word can be overused, I’m surprised no one brought up how quickly he went straight to gaslighting her. She was being sexually harassed by his friends, she made it clear it was unacceptable, he refused to step in, so she removed herself from the abuse. And what was his response? Make himself the victim. Of embarrassment. Downplaying her right to feel harassed & blaming her for how he was made to feel. He’s a turd and this is a really good indicator of how he’s always going to react and respond to her & her feelings. I imagine if she were to look back of the past ten months she’s be able to find other indicators of this, but love is really blind on the honeymoon/romancing phase.
So much this. "You embarrassed me in front of my friends" is a giant red flag, and absolute gaslighting behaviour.
Load More Replies... LADIES PLEASE NOTE: If a guy is really into you, he will not, I repeat NOT, allow his friends to think of you as a sexual object. If your boyfriend EVER lets his buddies so much as consider you in a sexual way, you are nothing but a booty call. Yup that's right, you're the fish they have no intention of keeping. Please don't waste your time. Move on. The one your looking for will shut that $h!% down.
And what kind of assholes talk like that? To somebody, they've just met??
Load More Replies... Your BF said that you should expect sexually harassing comments. He has proven that he will allow you to be humiliated in public, and join his friends in laughing at you. Honestly, do you really need to know anything more about him?
Exactly. It may feel like a wasted 10 months, but thank goodness it didn't go any further. Could you imagine the best man's speech at the wedding?
Load More Replies... Isn’t it a basic human decency to drop the topic when someone (especially new to the group) expresses they’re not comfortable and don’t wish to expand on it?
Totally. This was a huge red flag. Hoping OP dumped him soon after.
Load More Replies... Dump the man child and do yourself a big favour by ending it. No one should have to “put up with” degrading comments ffs
Passing off nasty/crude comments as "just a joke" is a MASSIVE red flag, get rid of this guy. If he allows his friends to abuse you, he's next.
He values his status with his friends more than his girlfriend. There's no need to back up OP's feelings with arguments on harrassment cases in the past - he's a d**k and he acted like a d**k to her, that's all the argument OP needs. I'm willing to bet he's been boasting about her sexually behind her back to them as well. The next step is that she'll be physically harrassed at some point as well and he'll do nothing as 'you kinda had it coming with your gymnast body'. Leave this sad excuse and find an actual partner.
When guys show you what they are like, believe them. He showed you he was ok with his friends treating you like sh*t and expects you to take their sexual harassment. This is who he is. Meeting the friends is often an inflection point in a relationship because in many ways, a person’s friends say a lot about them and now you know. Cut this guy loose.
Explain to him how it upset you. Then dump him. Any man that won't stand up for the honor of his girl isn't worth it. Sorry. Locker room Talk in front of a girl you like is rude af.
I used to ride horses for a living. The amount of people (both men and women) who made offensive sexualized jokes about my profession was astounding. Trust me folks, NO woman is receiving sexual pleasure from sitting on a horse. Don't be a perv!
In Vino Veritas - if they try and claim it was because they were drunk, what they really mean is that it loosened their tongues enough to spill what they were actually thinking. And thank goodness for that. At least you now know what kind of man child you were having a relationship with. There are some things you can come back from, and some that you definitely can't. This was definitely the latter.
NTA. Also, if I learned that someone was a gymnast, my first thought would be "I bet they'd make a good assassin."
Disgusting behaviour. If he was a real man, he would have stood up for his girlfriend and shut down their immature nonsense out of humanity and respect. Dump his a*s.
Yes. Was it too hard for him to say “My girlfriend doesn’t like your jokes. It’s not funny. Stop.” Or was he bragging for the past few months. Making jokes himself?
Load More Replies... I'm not a gymnast myself, but I encountered this back in 1975. A guy I worked with was amiable and I enjoyed talking to him, and then one day the subject of Olga Korbut and her stellar performance at the 1972 Olympics came up. I was talking about how impressive her skills were, then the guy nods and says, "Yes, she would make a wonderful wife." I knew instantly what he was implying, but was damned if I would ask him to clarify. So before I could change the subject, he just repeated it: "Yes, she would make a wonderful wife." Dirtbag.
You deserve way better than that and as a women to another you should be so proud of yourself for walking out on that circus of clowns cause not a lot of woman woulda had the gall to do it and woulda just brushed it off to keep the peace with the bf and that is no way to live you showed him your your own women and won't and don't need to tolerate that bs if anything I think you handled that situation with grace and class you as many commented on here proved your not his toy or joke for amusement to his friends and that he doesn't control you unlike him being a man's man you showed him your your own woman 💯👏
Thank God you went to that party and his friends said what they said and he did what he did! Being gaslighting you and playing the victim cause at least now you know where you stand in the sense of importance and priority in his life if his friends where that comfortable putting you in the spotlight like that and making sexual remarks and assumptions to the point that you felt embarrassed uneasy and uncomfortable basically sexually harassed indirecly joke or not amd told them to stop and they continued and did nothing than you can only guess those are the jokes and dirty things he says with his friends behind your back especially if they felt that comfortable saying it to someone that is a complete stranger that shows how little respect he has for you and pretty much shows how immature he is for his age I know many will argue but he Is a man that's men's talk ! They where drunk maybe! It was a joke! Doesn't matter cause even if it's men talk a real man knows not to speak of such thing
This doesn't sound like a person you should get attached to unless he wakes up and realizes he's TA.
I like a good joke, but this is abuse. I myself try not to make jokes about someone unless they themselves make the jokes first, even then there are boundaries. Sexualizing children is a definite no-no because it is just not right. I have a son and I am teaching him to respect everyone around him unless they do not truly deserve it, like people like Nassar. I will also not force my son and any future child into a life like sports, modeling, etc. If I ever have a daughter, I don't know what I'll do because if SHE wants to be a gymnast or a dancer, I would always worry because of people like OP's boyfriend.
As a male that is pan ive had to set boundaries even with other men. If you had made the joke its one thing but as soon and i mean the second you felt uncomfortable and it was obvious to him you were, he should have said something. Its not even limited to male or female but he is supposed to have your back. I lost a few friends defending my ex gf when guys kept saying really gross stuff to her at work (we all worked together) but i did not lose any sleep over losing said "friends". It doesnt matter if you were dating or not but if something clearly makes you uncomfortable and they just laugh with them, it is not ok...they chose to be that way because they were too afraid to stand up for what is right. Big red flag! Where does it end? He clearly would rather brag his gf is flexible or hot or w.e than care about her actual emotions. Thats not a partner thats just some one using you for social status...f that! Run! This was just a preview for whats to come!
She in no way in the wrong they were disrespectful and demeaning. She even spoke up instead of smiling and laughing about it to shrug it off. Her bf of almost a year should have at the very least respected her as a person enough acknowledge her feelings and her as a person instead of casually going along with the objectification rather than speak up for someone he should have supported and cared for her feelings instead of swallowing them for the comfort of a party with no business peering into that part of her life and far from shining a spotlight in such a public manner. A sheer lack of respect and callus behavior on his part.
Nta. Not a good sign for the relationship. I get that guys like to brag & crack jokes but real men don't allow other men to talk or joke about their wife, sister, mom or girlfriend in any kind of 😏 sexual way. Especially not in front of her-that's demeaning & degrading.
The "boyfriend" is no friend at all. He and his crowd are very immature and extremely creepy. They don't belong in any woman's life. If he's 29 and acting like that I don't think there is any hope for him. Get out now because his attitude will only get worse.
Dump him. That is all. I'm sick of ppl overlooking shyt and then say you embarrassed them at your boiling point. WTF you think was happening before walking out. This legitimately angers me. Dump him. He is an insensitive jerk and thinks its okay to stomp on your feelings or views for a laugh with his loser buddies. Were their GFs there..let me get they were single 🙄
Sadly this guy will not learn anything. He's just a waste of resources, and probably sexually harassed the females he works with himself. I'm so sick of males thinking it's alright to treat women like this, I wish women would band together and just all together stop sleeping with men to prove a point. If we we have a no shave November for beards and stuff, can we have a month of sexual abstinence? Problem is males have become so barbaric when it comes to sex, sex crimes would probably rise.
-infront of a lady and his lady least of all and would put even his friends in check letting them know where you and them stand In the rank of things especially if he is looking to be in a long term serious relationship if anything his behavior saved you from much more heartache in distant future with him cause his actions prove he is a man's man meaning his friends their opinion and his ego come first before any woman's feelings cause remember he felt embarrassed and that isn't normal not after he saw and clearly understood why the convo was inappropriate and why u felt offended my opinion his friends are creeps/pervs for approaching u in that manner without knowing you personally. he is still in that self absorbed teen mindset with an ego the size of Jupiter who has to look cool infront of his friends. Personally I think you should tell him to lose your number and block him that whole scenario is a red flag if he was really sorry he'd put his friends in check infront of you.--
If you have been hurt/embarrassed by someone’s comments and your significant other chooses to berate you rather than comfort you (or stand up for you), then you need to dump them and find someone else. They obviously don’t care about you as much as you thought.
OP~ dump the boyfriend. He should have had your back and shut his friends down right from the start. Him texting you about how you embarrassed him, makes me want to reach through my computer screen in time and space and smack the ever lovin' c**p outta him for you. Dump him. He's an immature AH and you deserve better.
See alot of huge RED FLAGS. End this. This won't stop. He is just like his friends. They have insulted you and you will get no I'm sorry. You will and have gotten alot of laughs at your expense behind your back.
A man is known by the company he keeps. Your BF is probably just as bad as his friends when you're not around. I have found this to be true of the men I've dated. My husband doesn't tolerate this kind of behavior from his friends. He ended a friendship with a guy he'd known since childhood over a domestic violence incident. You can do better.
So first off allow me to apologize on behalf of the male half of our shared species because you are in no way shape or form the a*****e in this situation. Your boyfriend is not only the a*****e but a punk and a lame for not immediately having your back and shutting his so called friends down... I imagine the reason he didn't is because this inappropriate friend is the "alpha" of their friendship... So your boyfriend just goes along with what said friend does or says... When u not only shut him down but shut him down in a way that made this inappropriate friend look like a complete a*****e and u explained why u didn't like those types of jokes in a way that everyone in listening distance could empathize with (regardless of wether they are willing to admit or not) u showed that he isn't the only alpha in the room... In my experience most male alpha's (at least the one's who haven't fully matured) find few things as threatening as a female who won't bow down... And then on top of that
Ditch him and his gagamaggot friends. Significant others are supposed to defend and protect each other! This guy did neither and joined in the harassment. The entire lot are Definitely TAHs here! I feel like I need shower with germicidal soap just reading that! You are NOT TAH! They're all gross and disgusting and need to grow TF UP! IMO Gymnasts (and dancers) have always been amazingly strong, graceful and poised! These idiots, on the other hand, are over grown frat-rats.
You wouldn't be saying that in front my husband that's all I can say. Real men stick up to nonsense like this. That would be the last time they made that comment. Find a better partner.
Why not stick up for yourself? Should you man have to do it for you? Then run away crying like a child that's real adult. I agree they should have dropped it but since they did not you just let them win by getting under your skin. Have a little backbone stand up for yourself! Again don't agree with the harassment but I would have thrown the sexual stuff back at them "Not like you would ever will find out!" Knock them down a peg show you have gull and they leave you alone.
I don't see why the only possible outcomes are: 1. Her boyfriend standing up the her 2. Her storming out 3. Sucking up the whole harassment Why does it never occur to people that they can actually stand up for themselves and they are not some pet or inferior being. I've been in similar situation before and I just expressed my annoyance. Do what what my bf did? He shut up because he knew I would be offended if he assumed I am unable to speak for myself and I would expect him to do it on my behalf.
Personally think OP needs to find the humor in friends joking around. Should he had said, "ok, that enough boy" yes, IMO, but I think she WAY OVERREACTED. Get the feeling she's likely to have issues with a bunch of different topics as well. Actual harrassment is one thing, but losing your s**t over some joking and storming off makes you the a*****e.
You may think it is one sided and that she over reacted, you are allowed your opinion. I don't know any women who talk like that, personally, but I'm sure there are. Hopefully though, they wouldn't do it in front of the person they are actually talking about and if they did and were asked to stop that they would. I do wonder though, what exactly you think was wrong in how she handled it. She has answered a few of the earlier posts on the original forum so hasn't just planted a bit of click bait, stirred things up and gone. He didn't need to 'flip out' on his friends as you put it. I don't think anyone actually suggested challenging them to a dual to defend his ladies honour. As for noticing she was uncomfortable, she said she was and asked them to stop. Is that not enough of a clue for him?
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