Woman Loses It Realizing Friend Had Invited Everyone But Her To Wedding, Leaves Group Chat
Statistics know everything. It knows how many weddings took place in the country over the past year (approximately 2.24M), in how many cases the couple decided that they had enough and parted ways (nearly 674K times), and even how much money is spent on average per ceremony (around $35K in 2023). The only thing it doesn’t actually know is how many different stories, from sad to absurdly funny, happen at weddings.
This particular tale from the user u/Frosty_Foundation130, which we are going to tell you now, will also undoubtedly get added to the statistics of sad incidents at weddings – if, of course, someone bothers to count such stories. Well, if not, just read it, it’s really worth it!
More info: Reddit
The author of the post has a friends’ circle of around 2 dozen people in one group chat
Image credits: Ivan Samkov (not the actual photo)
Two of these friends decided to tie the knot one day
Image credits: Frosty_Foundation130
When it came to invitations, one mutual friend wrote to the author that she was uninvited as the bride-to-be wants a low-key event
Image credits: Plann (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Frosty_Foundation130
The woman didn’t expect this invitation at all but she was incredibly upset when it turned out that she was the only one uninvited out of 18 folks
Image credits: Konstantin Mishchenko (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Frosty_Foundation130
Moreover, many people from the chat had their plus ones as well
Image credits: Kats Weil (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Frosty_Foundation130
So the woman decided to leave that chat – but her best friend called her ‘petty’ for doing so
So please meet the Original Poster (OP), a 23-year-old woman who once found herself in an unpleasant situation and needed advice from netizens (looking ahead, the author was expecting a couple of tips in the comments, and the discussion racked up over 9.2K). So, shortly before the events described, two of the author’s friends decided to tie the knot.
Let’s immediately clarify – in the woman’s own words, she has a common social circle, about two dozen people, and they have a common group chat where they communicate, congratulate each other on important events in life, share photos, and plan common activities.
And so, two of these people in the chat decided to become spouses. The OP notes that she doesn’t actually consider the bride a close friend, although they hung out together more than once or twice, and she even pet sat in the spouses-to-be’s house a couple of times. Well, as for me, what is this, if not evidence of friendship? But apparently the bride thought differently…
When the time came to send out invitations, one of the mutual friends wrote to the OP on behalf of the bride, saying that she was asked to convey that they’re planning just a low-key event for their closest people, so the author shouldn’t be offended that she’s not invited. Well, our heroine didn’t expect an invitation anyway, so on the wedding day she made her own plans. And then the next day came…
The group chat was literally bursting with photos and selfies from the wedding – and the original poster wasn’t even too lazy to count – it turns out that out of 18 people in the chat, only she was not invited! Moreover, almost all the guests had a plus one, and included even those who started dating after the OP was warned about the upcoming ‘low key event!’
Our heroine was so disappointed and upset that she left this chat literally on the spot over the burst of emotions. Apparently, her departure was noticed – so people immediately started DMing her asking what happened. The woman’s best friend, having learned about the reasons for this decision, immediately called her behavior ‘petty’ and ‘childish’.
True, having understood all the nuances, that very friend agreed that the situation looked rather strange. After all, initially she didn’t even know that the bride-to-be specifically asked one of the mutual friends to notify the OP about the upcoming uninviting. So our heroine just wondered how right or wrong was her reaction?
Image credits: Daniel Korpai (not the actual photo)
“I usually believe in the best in people, so perhaps the spouses-to-be simply could’ve really planned a small wedding, and then changed their plans – and just forgot to warn this woman. You always want to believe in the best,” says Irina Matveeva , a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, whom Bored Panda asked for a comment here. “If it was deliberately ignoring just one person out of many friends, then it looks really rude and improper.”
“In other words, you can use the services of a person for petsitting, call them a friend – and then, when the time comes to emphasize your friendship by inviting them to your wedding, you balk, and even bashfully shifting the unpleasant conversation onto someone else. I think this woman did the right thing – unless, of course, other circumstances come to light.”
“As they say, ‘a friend in need is a friend indeed,’ or simply in any unpleasant situation – and this incident most likely showed the original poster who really thinks about her and who doesn’t. I think she needs to figure it out and, if the version of intentional uninviting will be confirmed, just move on with those who truly appreciate her,” Irina concludes.
People in the comments also quite sincerely believe that the original poster did the right thing. Moreover, commenters are confident that they would have acted in the same way in a similar situation. “I would’ve left that group chat too,” one of the commenters wrote. “How is it that everyone else got invited with plus ones but you weren’t? To be honest, that seems intentional.”
In general, people advised the author to simply stay friends with only those who wrote to her and were worried about her absence from the wedding – and let the rest continue to live as they lived. “Stick with the friends that reacted out with concern, drop the rest,” another commenter summarized. And do you, our dear readers, agree with this opinion?
However, people in the comments massively sided with the author, stating that the bride’s behavior looks really rude and impolite
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The OP has housesat and petsat but theyre not close friends? I feel like giving you the key to my house is a close friends activity. Something seems off
Yeah I was thinking she's not really a friend (friend of a friend who is in the same circle) until the bit about the house/pet sitting. I would be very reluctant to let someone who wasn't a close friend or family look after my house or pets. Makes me think maybe there'd been some minor falling out she wasn't aware of. Maybe she gave them a really s****y gift for their engagement or something? Maybe there was some other aspect - parents are super religious/racist/bigoted in some way and she hits their criteria?
Load More Replies...
They aren't your friends. They tolerate you. Friends would have stood up for you when you were excluded. Find some friends.
As someone who's always felt on the fringe of a lot of friend groups/been ditched for something better I don't blame her for reacting the way she did. It's hard to describe just how much it hurts to be excluded.
I left a group after they were upset over hearing of the death of a close friend of mine but I didn't tell them. Why? The friend that passed asked me NOT to tell anyone that didn't stay in touch to let them know of her passing so I honored that as well as taking in her dog. Honestly, I felt that they were very hypocritical at being upset. THEY NEVER CALLED, TEXTED NOR VISITED HER..EVER. As someone commented above, better off without them.
That is the reason I don't want a funeral and a wake because I don't want people that didn't text me and just remembered me when Facebook remembered them that it was my birtjday gathering on my behalf. I just want to be cremated.
Load More Replies... If you were a close enough friend to be part of a group chat with 2 dozen people, and they were all invited, you should have been invited too. What a s****y thing for the bride to do.
Exactly... And tell me the rest of them didn't know in advance ? I'm sure there was a lot of chatter about the weddings leading up to it. Whis going with who, where you staying, what you getting them etc .
Load More Replies... Poor girl. There's a horrible kind of shame that comes with being the only person who's left out, as though somehow it's your fault. S****y thing to do if you ask me.
Pleas OP remember, that this didn't happen because of you, but because of the bride and your false friends.
Load More Replies... Had something similar happen to me and I can tell you it really hurts. Even now I think of things I wished I had said but in reality I made the best choice by quietly leaving.
Total b***h move and I doubt that the rest didn't know, otherwise there would have been a lot of chat in the lead up. Also they had you at the engage party and took your gift, then invited everyone but you, and plus ones - including new couples. Leaving the group was the only move, find a better group of people who aren't a******s
18 friends in a group chat. Over time, you’ll realize that you only need a few close friends.
Yup. She's only 23 so she's still at that stage where you feel like you need lots of friends. That will change as she gets older.
Load More Replies... The “best Friend” who said she was being petty is not a best friend. Any person in the group who doesn’t have her back is not a friend. I wish I had better recognized this when I used to be on softball and basketball teams. Sometimes it’s hard to face the truth.
I had a bunch of friends from college that all kept in touch fairly regularly. It was harder once people started moving with work, but we still met up on occasion. One was getting married, and I phoned some of the others to see who was booking into the hotel for the night, and they were a bit evasive. I found out later that 8 of them (4 couples) had decided to make it a bit of a holiday and had booked a weekend cottage-I wasn't invited, and afterwards they said they thought I might have felt awkward because I was single. Well..OK. The following year, I moved back closer to my home town, and threw a housewarming party. I'd checked beforehand which dates suited everyone, but on the night, only a handful of my new work colleagues and a couple of friends I'd made after graduating turned up-none of my old college friends. Some friendships come to a natural end, maybe as people mature and change, but its still hurtful feeling excluded and sidelined.
Leave the chat and never explain, it doesn't require it. Find some new friends.
The bridezilla's excuse for not inviting OP to the wedding stinks worse than month-old halibut. She got an engagement gift out of it, then snubbed OP. Leaving the chat group was the right thing to do. If and when she gets married, at least she'll know whom NOT to invite. Whenever you're in any kind of a relationship, think like a cheap piano--know when you're being played.
Did I misread that the OP gave the "happy couple" a gift for their engagement? And then wasn't invited? I don't blame the OP at all. With friends like those, who needs enemies?
Friendship changes as you get older. She's going to learn that more and more. I've been a bridesmaid 3 times, for very close friends - well, at that time we were. Not a single one of them has spoken to me in years. Not because of anything I did or they did. We just got older and situations changed. Some of them had kids, some moved away. We're all almost 50 or older now and how we interact with our friends is different than it used to be when we were younger. It happens to everyone eventually.
Sometimes you just have to move on. Perhaps a few of the folks in the chat are worth having as friends, the bride and the so-called best friend need to be erased. We've all had this happen, such is life.
What makes this especially s****y from the bride, was her getting someone to call OP to tell her, she was not invited. If not for that, it might have been simply an invitation that was forgotten, but there is no chance of that here.
People are in your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. The situation has been exposed for what it is. It's time to let this group go, put a period on that part of your life, and move on. This is an unfortunate and often inevitable part of growing up.
The OP has housesat and petsat but theyre not close friends? I feel like giving you the key to my house is a close friends activity. Something seems off
Yeah I was thinking she's not really a friend (friend of a friend who is in the same circle) until the bit about the house/pet sitting. I would be very reluctant to let someone who wasn't a close friend or family look after my house or pets. Makes me think maybe there'd been some minor falling out she wasn't aware of. Maybe she gave them a really s****y gift for their engagement or something? Maybe there was some other aspect - parents are super religious/racist/bigoted in some way and she hits their criteria?
Load More Replies... They aren't your friends. They tolerate you. Friends would have stood up for you when you were excluded. Find some friends.
As someone who's always felt on the fringe of a lot of friend groups/been ditched for something better I don't blame her for reacting the way she did. It's hard to describe just how much it hurts to be excluded.
I left a group after they were upset over hearing of the death of a close friend of mine but I didn't tell them. Why? The friend that passed asked me NOT to tell anyone that didn't stay in touch to let them know of her passing so I honored that as well as taking in her dog. Honestly, I felt that they were very hypocritical at being upset. THEY NEVER CALLED, TEXTED NOR VISITED HER..EVER. As someone commented above, better off without them.
That is the reason I don't want a funeral and a wake because I don't want people that didn't text me and just remembered me when Facebook remembered them that it was my birtjday gathering on my behalf. I just want to be cremated.
Load More Replies... If you were a close enough friend to be part of a group chat with 2 dozen people, and they were all invited, you should have been invited too. What a s****y thing for the bride to do.
Exactly... And tell me the rest of them didn't know in advance ? I'm sure there was a lot of chatter about the weddings leading up to it. Whis going with who, where you staying, what you getting them etc .
Load More Replies... Poor girl. There's a horrible kind of shame that comes with being the only person who's left out, as though somehow it's your fault. S****y thing to do if you ask me.
Pleas OP remember, that this didn't happen because of you, but because of the bride and your false friends.
Load More Replies... Had something similar happen to me and I can tell you it really hurts. Even now I think of things I wished I had said but in reality I made the best choice by quietly leaving.
Total b***h move and I doubt that the rest didn't know, otherwise there would have been a lot of chat in the lead up. Also they had you at the engage party and took your gift, then invited everyone but you, and plus ones - including new couples. Leaving the group was the only move, find a better group of people who aren't a******s
18 friends in a group chat. Over time, you’ll realize that you only need a few close friends.
Yup. She's only 23 so she's still at that stage where you feel like you need lots of friends. That will change as she gets older.
Load More Replies... The “best Friend” who said she was being petty is not a best friend. Any person in the group who doesn’t have her back is not a friend. I wish I had better recognized this when I used to be on softball and basketball teams. Sometimes it’s hard to face the truth.
I had a bunch of friends from college that all kept in touch fairly regularly. It was harder once people started moving with work, but we still met up on occasion. One was getting married, and I phoned some of the others to see who was booking into the hotel for the night, and they were a bit evasive. I found out later that 8 of them (4 couples) had decided to make it a bit of a holiday and had booked a weekend cottage-I wasn't invited, and afterwards they said they thought I might have felt awkward because I was single. Well..OK. The following year, I moved back closer to my home town, and threw a housewarming party. I'd checked beforehand which dates suited everyone, but on the night, only a handful of my new work colleagues and a couple of friends I'd made after graduating turned up-none of my old college friends. Some friendships come to a natural end, maybe as people mature and change, but its still hurtful feeling excluded and sidelined.
Leave the chat and never explain, it doesn't require it. Find some new friends.
The bridezilla's excuse for not inviting OP to the wedding stinks worse than month-old halibut. She got an engagement gift out of it, then snubbed OP. Leaving the chat group was the right thing to do. If and when she gets married, at least she'll know whom NOT to invite. Whenever you're in any kind of a relationship, think like a cheap piano--know when you're being played.
Did I misread that the OP gave the "happy couple" a gift for their engagement? And then wasn't invited? I don't blame the OP at all. With friends like those, who needs enemies?
Friendship changes as you get older. She's going to learn that more and more. I've been a bridesmaid 3 times, for very close friends - well, at that time we were. Not a single one of them has spoken to me in years. Not because of anything I did or they did. We just got older and situations changed. Some of them had kids, some moved away. We're all almost 50 or older now and how we interact with our friends is different than it used to be when we were younger. It happens to everyone eventually.
Sometimes you just have to move on. Perhaps a few of the folks in the chat are worth having as friends, the bride and the so-called best friend need to be erased. We've all had this happen, such is life.
What makes this especially s****y from the bride, was her getting someone to call OP to tell her, she was not invited. If not for that, it might have been simply an invitation that was forgotten, but there is no chance of that here.
People are in your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. The situation has been exposed for what it is. It's time to let this group go, put a period on that part of your life, and move on. This is an unfortunate and often inevitable part of growing up.
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