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Woman Embarrasses Surgeon In Front Of Med Students For Disregarding Her Because He Knows Better
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Woman Embarrasses Surgeon In Front Of Med Students For Disregarding Her Because He Knows Better

Interview With Author
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If you want to be a good doctor or surgeon, it’s not enough to be well-read and have dexterous hands. You also need a good bedside manner. In short, medical professionals need to instill trust and confidence in their patients. One way to do this is to actively listen to them to learn more about them and their bodies.

Failing to listen properly can have potentially devastating consequences, as one internet user’s story showed. Redditor u/Shadva revealed how her surgeon was unwilling to listen to her issues with her appendix, which nearly led to a health disaster. Read on for the full story. Bored Panda got in touch with the author of the story, redditor u/Shadva, and she was kind enough to share her thoughts about doctors’ (lack of) communication skills and why someone who is in pain might feel reluctant to go to the ER. You’ll find our full interview with the OP below.

One of the most important skills for any medical professional is the ability to communicate well with patients

Image credits: karrastock (not the actual photo)

One woman who went to the ER recounted how an arrogant surgeon refused to listen to what she had to say

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Image credits: nodar77 (not the actual photo)

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Image credits: Shadva

How someone treats their colleagues is a good indicator of them as a person

Bored Panda wanted to find out why the author thought her doctor was so unwilling to hear her out. “My personal thought was that he thought he was better than just about everyone because he was a surgeon. That opinion was backed up by both watching and hearing about his interactions with various staff,” u/Shadva shared with us.

“Before he came into my room, I actually heard him tell a nurse that their observations didn’t matter, that he was a surgeon and they were ‘just a nurse.’ Then he yelled at janitorial staff for not moving out of his way when he was coming down the hall, even though they were mopping the floor.”

Unfortunately, the OP doesn’t think that the doctor will have changed his behavior after the incident with her appendix. “I managed to show him that not everyone will tolerate bullying, even from a surgeon. I do know another doctor signed off on my discharge after a couple of days.”

According to u/Shadva, medical personnel who are unable to listen to their patients’ needs need to be made accountable for their behavior by the administrative staff. She suggested that these doctors may need a refresher course in proper communication, as well as a “stark reminder that they’re human and not a god, and in some cases may need therapy.”

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The drawback is that some hospital administrators “generally ignore such behavior,” according to the OP. This means that the admins are allowing arrogant and rude behavior to go unchecked in some hospitals. However, it’s not just the medical staff that need to change how they approach things. It’s up to the patients to enforce some healthy boundaries as well.

Every patient is different, so doctors need to get to know their medical history ASAP

Image credits: Karolina Grabowska (not the actual photo)

Though communication skills are paramount for anyone working in the medical field, some professionals completely ignore them. They prioritize know-how, technical skills, and dexterity, instead.

Now, don’t get us wrong, doctors absolutely need to be knowledgeable and capable in their field. Many of us want to be looked after by someone who’s intelligent, talented, capable, and who’s able to keep calm under pressure. But if the doctor is cold rather than empathetic, something’s gone terribly wrong.

The fact of the matter is that people’s physiologies are different. Some, like the OP, have a very high tolerance for pain. Others do not. It’s only by talking to patients to learn about their medical history and any quirks their bodies might have that docs can get the full picture.

The real world is very complicated. And your patients won’t all fit the mold. Having textbook knowledge is fine and dandy. But it won’t get you out of every bad situation. Case in point, the surgeon in redditor u/Shadva’s story realized how narrowly he avoided an actual disaster with the OP’s appendix. If he’d listened to her more attentively, he would have realized how serious everything was from the get-go.

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Actively listening to patients helps doctors do their jobs better

Image credits: MART PRODUCTION (not the actual photo)

Dr. John Madden, an Emergency Physician and Director of the Office of Career Guidance and Student Development at St. George’s University School of Medicine, had this to say about the importance of communication: “Being a good listener is critical to being a good doctor. Patients will tell you what’s wrong if you just let them speak.”

Meanwhile, family physician Dr. Lisa Doggett said, “They [doctors] should answer questions using language that is clear without using too much medical terminology. They should be honest but also offer hope, even when a situation is difficult. And they should help their patients feel empowered to improve their own health.”

As of October 2023, the median salary for a surgeon working in the United States is $431,265. American surgeons typically earn between $364,710 and $511,847 per year, according to Salary.com. Generally, these medical professionals’ salaries will depend on their work experience, their education, as well as their skills.

Meanwhile, Indeed.com reveals that the average surgeon’s base salary is $298,418, generally falling between $268,377 and $331,822.

If you suspect that you might have appendicitis, it’s vital that you seek medical help

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Image credits: Павел Сорокин (not the actual photo)

Not many people enjoy the prospect of being rushed to the ER. Some of them might hope that their symptoms will go away on their own or think that they’re overreacting. Others don’t want to ‘bother’ the medical staff with potentially ‘small’ issues.

Still, others freeze or run away from their problems because they’re simply scared of finding out the truth.

When it comes to appendicitis, an inflammation of the appendix, it’s vital that you seek immediate medical help if you feel intense abdominal pain.

According to Mayo Clinic, appendicitis causes pain in the lower right abdomen, however, the pain starts around the belly button and then moves.

Other symptoms to look out for include nausea and vomiting, loss of appetite, constipation or diarrhea, abdominal bloating, gas, fever, and pain that worsens when you walk or cough. If you suspect that you or a loved one may be dealing with appendicitis, contact your local hospital. It’s better to be safe than sorry.

Patients need to learn to enforce healthy boundaries and to show that they will not be disrespected

“Patients also need to stop being afraid to advocate for themselves, both for how they’re treated as a person and how they’re treated medically.” The OP noted that many other women responded to her post and shared how often they’re either “totally ignored, or treated like their medical complaints just have to be related to our vaginas.”

Of course, not everyone feels comfortable being “brutally honest” with their doctors. Meanwhile, some patients exaggerate their symptoms. “However, too many providers just assume that almost everyone [lies] instead of working from the point of view of ‘believe, but verify.’”

Meanwhile, Bored Panda wanted to get the author’s thoughts on when somebody should go to the ER. “In a lot of cases, people don’t want to go to the ER because of cost and the only way to fix that is to either regulate it through legislation and oversight or offer universal healthcare,” she said.

“Don’t get me wrong, I don’t object to hospitals, pharma, or insurance companies making a profit, but it should be more about the patients and not completely about the bottom line. For example, without insurance, the brand name Lyrica costs between $266.38 and $1112.72, depending on the dosage and form of Lyrica you take,” she shared one example of just how expensive medicine can be.

“I know that they offer a generic version now, but even the price of pregabalin can vary depending on manufacturer, dosage, and place of purchase. Some people may be afraid of hospitals due to previous experience, such as a relative or friend going in for a ‘minor’ issue, and leaving the hospital through the morgue.”

Redditor u/Shadva continued: “For some people, it may come from being ignored or dismissed time, after time, after time. In my opinion, if they’re worried about something medically, getting advice from their primary care is a good idea, even if it’s just over the phone. If it’s an acute issue or the weekend, I’d honestly prefer that people not take chances with their lives and would just go to the ER right away.”

The internet had a lot to say about the ER situation. Here are some opinions and experiences that people shared

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Jonas Grinevičius

Jonas Grinevičius

Writer, BoredPanda staff

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Storytelling, journalism, and art are a core part of who I am. I've been writing and drawing ever since I could walk—there is nothing else I'd rather do. My formal education, however, is focused on politics, philosophy, and economics because I've always been curious about the gap between the ideal and the real. At work, I'm a Senior Writer and I cover a broad range of topics that I'm passionate about: from psychology and changes in work culture to healthy living, relationships, and design. In my spare time, I'm an avid hiker and reader, enjoy writing short stories, and love to doodle. I thrive when I'm outdoors, going on small adventures in nature. However, you can also find me enjoying a big mug of coffee with a good book (or ten) and entertaining friends with fantasy tabletop games and sci-fi movies.

Read less »
Jonas Grinevičius

Jonas Grinevičius

Writer, BoredPanda staff

Storytelling, journalism, and art are a core part of who I am. I've been writing and drawing ever since I could walk—there is nothing else I'd rather do. My formal education, however, is focused on politics, philosophy, and economics because I've always been curious about the gap between the ideal and the real. At work, I'm a Senior Writer and I cover a broad range of topics that I'm passionate about: from psychology and changes in work culture to healthy living, relationships, and design. In my spare time, I'm an avid hiker and reader, enjoy writing short stories, and love to doodle. I thrive when I'm outdoors, going on small adventures in nature. However, you can also find me enjoying a big mug of coffee with a good book (or ten) and entertaining friends with fantasy tabletop games and sci-fi movies.

Mindaugas Balčiauskas

Mindaugas Balčiauskas

Author, BoredPanda staff

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I'm a visual editor at Bored Panda. I kickstart my day with a mug of coffee bigger than my head, ready to tackle Photoshop. I navigate through the digital jungle with finesse, fueled by bamboo breaks and caffeine kicks. When the workday winds down, you might catch me devouring bamboo snacks while binging on the latest TV show, gaming or I could be out in nature, soaking up the tranquility and communing with my inner panda.

Read less »

Mindaugas Balčiauskas

Mindaugas Balčiauskas

Author, BoredPanda staff

I'm a visual editor at Bored Panda. I kickstart my day with a mug of coffee bigger than my head, ready to tackle Photoshop. I navigate through the digital jungle with finesse, fueled by bamboo breaks and caffeine kicks. When the workday winds down, you might catch me devouring bamboo snacks while binging on the latest TV show, gaming or I could be out in nature, soaking up the tranquility and communing with my inner panda.

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rayneofsalt avatar
Rayne OfSalt
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

An ex of mine had excruciating pain 3 weeks out of every month, only relieved when she got her period (which, of course, came with its own issues). For years her doctor just kept giving her narcotic pain pills, refused to listen to her, wouldn't do any kind of tests. I finally convinced her to see my family gp, first thing he does is send her off for mri's, ct scans, bloodwork, everything he could think of. Turns out her gallbladder was stuffed full of stones and had been for years. He got her in for emergency surgery the same day the results came back, and she's been pain-free ever since.

parmeisan avatar
Parmeisan
Community Member
5 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you ever have a serious allergy to medication, trust the pharmacist and not the doctor. I am deadly allergic to penicillin [it caused a kidney shutdown and nearly killed me] and have been told to avoid "all beta lactam antibiotics" as well because of similarities. Every time I am prescribed antibiotics I ask the doctor to confirm they are not that type because I cannot have them. Then I ask again at the pharmacist. TWICE now I have been give a prescription by a doctor who assures me it's fine and then gotten to the pharmacist and been told the doc messed up and this is beta lactam. One of the doctors when I told him: "What do you know about beta lactam?" "Not much, just that I can't have it." I guess he assumed I was making it up? I should have told him, "Just that my GP, allergist, and nephrologist have all told me it might kill me." Even then I'd need to check again with the pharmacist. :(

bookfanatic1979 avatar
BookFanatic
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yep. Not nearly as severe as your example, but my doc suggested I get the RSV (Respiratory Syncytial Virus) vaccine along with my usual flu shot. I'm 44. I asked my pharmacist and she refused. Turns out the FDA specifically warns against giving that shot to people under age 60. Not sure what would have happened, but I listened to her.

Load More Replies...
parmeisan avatar
Parmeisan
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I went to the ER once because my chest very very strange. There was almost no pain, but something felt WRONG. Fast forward 6 hours and various blood tests, ink tests, etc and I've been diagnosed with pulmonary embolism (blood clot in my lungs) and the specialist comes out to see me. We go through the whole list of symptoms again for him and he asks for level of pain on a 1-10 scale. I say 2. He incredulously says, "You came into the ER for a TWO?!?" and I say, "Well I was right, wasn't I?" Unsurprisingly he was a terrible doctor for several reasons and I later got my GP to find me a new specialist.

Load More Comments
rayneofsalt avatar
Rayne OfSalt
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

An ex of mine had excruciating pain 3 weeks out of every month, only relieved when she got her period (which, of course, came with its own issues). For years her doctor just kept giving her narcotic pain pills, refused to listen to her, wouldn't do any kind of tests. I finally convinced her to see my family gp, first thing he does is send her off for mri's, ct scans, bloodwork, everything he could think of. Turns out her gallbladder was stuffed full of stones and had been for years. He got her in for emergency surgery the same day the results came back, and she's been pain-free ever since.

parmeisan avatar
Parmeisan
Community Member
5 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you ever have a serious allergy to medication, trust the pharmacist and not the doctor. I am deadly allergic to penicillin [it caused a kidney shutdown and nearly killed me] and have been told to avoid "all beta lactam antibiotics" as well because of similarities. Every time I am prescribed antibiotics I ask the doctor to confirm they are not that type because I cannot have them. Then I ask again at the pharmacist. TWICE now I have been give a prescription by a doctor who assures me it's fine and then gotten to the pharmacist and been told the doc messed up and this is beta lactam. One of the doctors when I told him: "What do you know about beta lactam?" "Not much, just that I can't have it." I guess he assumed I was making it up? I should have told him, "Just that my GP, allergist, and nephrologist have all told me it might kill me." Even then I'd need to check again with the pharmacist. :(

bookfanatic1979 avatar
BookFanatic
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yep. Not nearly as severe as your example, but my doc suggested I get the RSV (Respiratory Syncytial Virus) vaccine along with my usual flu shot. I'm 44. I asked my pharmacist and she refused. Turns out the FDA specifically warns against giving that shot to people under age 60. Not sure what would have happened, but I listened to her.

Load More Replies...
parmeisan avatar
Parmeisan
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I went to the ER once because my chest very very strange. There was almost no pain, but something felt WRONG. Fast forward 6 hours and various blood tests, ink tests, etc and I've been diagnosed with pulmonary embolism (blood clot in my lungs) and the specialist comes out to see me. We go through the whole list of symptoms again for him and he asks for level of pain on a 1-10 scale. I say 2. He incredulously says, "You came into the ER for a TWO?!?" and I say, "Well I was right, wasn't I?" Unsurprisingly he was a terrible doctor for several reasons and I later got my GP to find me a new specialist.

Load More Comments
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