Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app
Continue in app Continue in browser

The Bored Panda iOS app is live! Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here.

Parents See Neighbors Having A Party With Kids And Send Their Own Children There, Get Unexpected Response
Parents See Neighbors Having A Party With Kids And Send Their Own Children There, Get Unexpected Response
20

Parents See Neighbors Having A Party With Kids And Send Their Own Children There, Get Unexpected Response

Interview With Expert

43

ADVERTISEMENT

Kids’ birthday parties are on an entirely different level compared to those of adults. Of course, bouncy castles, Disney character impersonators, and food trucks can be a lot of fun, but organizing such a celebration often leaves parents with a plethora of questions. Should they prepare goodie bags for the children? When do they cut the cake? And most importantly, should they invite the neighbors?

Since the relationship between redditor Brilliant_Sound3258 and her neighbors wasn’t the coziest, she decided not to extend the birthday invitation to them. However, this didn’t stop them from showing up, making the whole thing awkward. 

Scroll down to find the full story and a conversation with Gemma Bradley director and founder of Cheshire Party Planner, who kindly agreed to tell us all about guest lists and kids’ birthday parties.

RELATED:

    Ensuring that no one feels left out while planning a birthday celebration can be tough

    Image credits: Jon Tyson / unsplash (not the actual photo)

    This woman thought her neighbors wouldn’t mind not being invited. That is until they unexpectedly showed up

    ADVERTISEMENT

    Image credits: Kindel Media / pexels (not the actual photo)

    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT

    Image credits: Sadman Chowdhury / pexels (not the actual photo)

    ADVERTISEMENT

    Image credits:  Miriam Salgado / pexels (not the actual photo)

    Image credits: Brilliant_Sound3258

    “If they are friends with children in the neighborhood then yes invite them, but not if you don’t know them”

    The guest list of a kids’ party is quite a big deal. It’s not just about the numbers; it has become almost a microcosm of social dynamics that can break or make the celebration. And the parents are usually the ones left to decide who makes the cut.

    ADVERTISEMENT

    Essentially, the end goal is to have an inclusive guest list with people who are closest to your kid and are a part of their support system. Gemma Bradley director and founder of Cheshire Party Planner tells Bored Panda that the usual guest list for 5-year-olds and above mostly includes the children from their group at school. “If it’s a small school, then you could invite the whole class. However, if there are 60 in a year group, like at my daughter’s school, you have to just choose who the birthday child is friendly with,” she mentions.

    She further suggests, “If they are under 5, I would say to just invite family and the child’s close friends from nursery or family friends. The child, whatever age, tends to hang out with their best friends anyway so as long as they are there, the day will be memorable for the child, if all you can afford is a small party.

    When it comes to neighbors, Bradley says, “If they are friends with children in the neighborhood then yes invite them, but not if you don’t know them.” In case they still show up without an invitation she recommends being polite. “Just diplomatically say, ‘Oh I didn’t you were coming, I’m sure there’ll be enough food for them to join in’.

    Then at least you’ve planted the seed that if there isn’t enough food to go around, it’s because some people have just shown up. At a quiet moment, just say to the parent, I’m so sorry, I didn’t know your child was coming so I haven’t got a party bag for them (if you don’t have a spare) but I’m sure they’ll be a piece of cake for them to take.”

    If it so happens that your child doesn’t end up invited, it’s important not to feel instantly hurt

    Image credits: Liza Summer / pexels (not the actual photo)

    Some additional kid’s birthday party rules that Bradly emphasizes are always RSVPing even if the child won’t be able to attend. “The host has to have at least a week (2 weeks would be better!) to let the caterers know how many people they are making the food for and the host needs to know how big the cake needs to be and how many party bags to make. And do let them know if there are any allergies to make the caterers aware,” she explains.

    She also says, “I’m sure most people know this but bring a birthday card and present obviously! However, kids have so much these days and parents only have so much room in the house. So sometimes it’s nice to ask the parents if a voucher would be better for the birthday girl or boy to pick something themselves. One year, my daughter got six jewelry-making kits! It can stop wastage which is good for the environment.”

    If it so happens that your child doesn’t end up invited, it’s important not to feel hurt instantly. Most likely, this has nothing to do with your kid not being popular or liked by other children. Perhaps the party didn’t have a big enough budget, or they were only inviting a select group of kids from their class or soccer team. It also could have been a girls-only or boys-only celebration.

    Besides, not getting an invitation can be a great time to teach your children that “they can’t always be invited to everything.” The earlier they learn to deal with rejection in healthy ways, the more hurt feelings they’ll avoid in the future.

    Most readers supported the woman escorting her neighbors from the party

    Meanwhile, others thought it was rude

    Poll Question

    Total votes ·

    Thanks! Check out the results:

    Total votes ·
    Share on Facebook
    Austeja Zokaitė

    Austeja Zokaitė

    Writer, Community member

    Read more »

    Hi, glad you swung by! My name is Austėja, and in the past, I was a writer at Bored Panda. In my time here, I’ve covered some fun topics such as scrungy cats and pareidolia, as well as more serious ones about mental health and relationship hiccups. You can check them out below! I hope you enjoy reading them as much as I enjoyed writing them:)

    Read less »
    Austeja Zokaitė

    Austeja Zokaitė

    Writer, Community member

    Hi, glad you swung by! My name is Austėja, and in the past, I was a writer at Bored Panda. In my time here, I’ve covered some fun topics such as scrungy cats and pareidolia, as well as more serious ones about mental health and relationship hiccups. You can check them out below! I hope you enjoy reading them as much as I enjoyed writing them:)

    What do you think ?
    BewilderedBanana
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The YTA comments are insane. Yes, they're just kids and yes, a couple of cupcakes wouldn't make a huge difference. But that's not the issue - the issue is the entitlement of the neighbour parents. Boundaries needed to be set and this was the only way to do it. And apparently, sending the kids back wasn't even enough coz they came back with the parents :)

    Trillian
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This exactly. I do feel sorry for the kids but people like their parents continue to exist because too many people accomodate this sort of behavior.

    Load More Replies...
    Debbie
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wow, how can anyone think "YTA"? It's not just two extra kids. If there is only a select group of people, anyone not invited has impact on the interactions. Watching two extra kids you hardly know... Party crashing is not nice.

    Floeckchen
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Because the YTA commentors are propably of the same mindset as the neighbors

    Load More Replies...
    ADVERTISEMENT
    BobiJK
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm sure the neighborhood leeches showed up with covered dishes and a gift for the birthday girl.

    Cooking Panda
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If the kids had invited themselves to the party out of curiosity (maybe they happen to walk by and see the festivity), I'd give them some treats and send them home. But "mommy said I could go" changes everything. It means that the parents signed off on the intrusive behavior.

    Hope Tirendi
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Plus it's a stretch but what if the kid was allergic to something in the cupcakes?? Then Mommy would sue their butts off.

    Load More Replies...
    justagirl
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't yet the YTA people at all! Especially since OP does mention not being on particularly friendly terms! Somebody PLEASE explain how OP's "humanity is nonexistent"?

    FluffyDreg
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Because if you don't give a child every they want and don't share all your things with them then you are a bully.

    Load More Replies...
    lenka
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sounds like its time to turn your semi-fenced yard into a fully fenced yard.

    Tabitha
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Maybe even electrified. (I am kidding, ffs.)

    Load More Replies...
    Weasel Wise
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The yta people are insane. Apparently, in their world, if neighbors show up to your house uninvited, it's rude to ask them to leave rather than allowing them to do whatever they want?! Just, wow.

    Joann Hart
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Turn off those lights at night so they don't think you're home

    Load More Replies...
    Anna Ekberg
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Community event? A private birthday is NOT a community event, entitled much?! Jeez, what is wrong with some people?! Oh and the YTA people can go kick rocks.

    Insomniac
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You realize that some of us are from cultures focused on community and hospitality, where it would be considered rude or cruel to turn a child away like that? We don't need to kick rocks for seeing things differently.

    Load More Replies...
    Hphizzle
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I grew up in a suburban neighborhood. Most yards didn’t have fences. If your neighbor friends look like they were having a party, you knew to stay away. It was a family event. At the very least, maybe walk by like you’re going elsewhere and see if they invite you if they happen to see you. Backyard parties are not community events.

    Laserleader
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or even front yard parties. Even if it's in an partment complex, and they are holding it in a shared space... still not a community event.

    Load More Replies...
    penguin
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Aside from the situation (children come uninvited and want sweets), I would never give food to children I don't know without the parents' consent. There are too many allergies/intolerances/diets these days and I don't know what children are allowed to eat and what they aren't.

    Load More Comments
    BewilderedBanana
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The YTA comments are insane. Yes, they're just kids and yes, a couple of cupcakes wouldn't make a huge difference. But that's not the issue - the issue is the entitlement of the neighbour parents. Boundaries needed to be set and this was the only way to do it. And apparently, sending the kids back wasn't even enough coz they came back with the parents :)

    Trillian
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This exactly. I do feel sorry for the kids but people like their parents continue to exist because too many people accomodate this sort of behavior.

    Load More Replies...
    Debbie
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wow, how can anyone think "YTA"? It's not just two extra kids. If there is only a select group of people, anyone not invited has impact on the interactions. Watching two extra kids you hardly know... Party crashing is not nice.

    Floeckchen
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Because the YTA commentors are propably of the same mindset as the neighbors

    Load More Replies...
    ADVERTISEMENT
    BobiJK
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm sure the neighborhood leeches showed up with covered dishes and a gift for the birthday girl.

    Cooking Panda
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If the kids had invited themselves to the party out of curiosity (maybe they happen to walk by and see the festivity), I'd give them some treats and send them home. But "mommy said I could go" changes everything. It means that the parents signed off on the intrusive behavior.

    Hope Tirendi
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Plus it's a stretch but what if the kid was allergic to something in the cupcakes?? Then Mommy would sue their butts off.

    Load More Replies...
    justagirl
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't yet the YTA people at all! Especially since OP does mention not being on particularly friendly terms! Somebody PLEASE explain how OP's "humanity is nonexistent"?

    FluffyDreg
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Because if you don't give a child every they want and don't share all your things with them then you are a bully.

    Load More Replies...
    lenka
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sounds like its time to turn your semi-fenced yard into a fully fenced yard.

    Tabitha
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Maybe even electrified. (I am kidding, ffs.)

    Load More Replies...
    Weasel Wise
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The yta people are insane. Apparently, in their world, if neighbors show up to your house uninvited, it's rude to ask them to leave rather than allowing them to do whatever they want?! Just, wow.

    Joann Hart
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Turn off those lights at night so they don't think you're home

    Load More Replies...
    Anna Ekberg
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Community event? A private birthday is NOT a community event, entitled much?! Jeez, what is wrong with some people?! Oh and the YTA people can go kick rocks.

    Insomniac
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You realize that some of us are from cultures focused on community and hospitality, where it would be considered rude or cruel to turn a child away like that? We don't need to kick rocks for seeing things differently.

    Load More Replies...
    Hphizzle
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I grew up in a suburban neighborhood. Most yards didn’t have fences. If your neighbor friends look like they were having a party, you knew to stay away. It was a family event. At the very least, maybe walk by like you’re going elsewhere and see if they invite you if they happen to see you. Backyard parties are not community events.

    Laserleader
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or even front yard parties. Even if it's in an partment complex, and they are holding it in a shared space... still not a community event.

    Load More Replies...
    penguin
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Aside from the situation (children come uninvited and want sweets), I would never give food to children I don't know without the parents' consent. There are too many allergies/intolerances/diets these days and I don't know what children are allowed to eat and what they aren't.

    Load More Comments
    You May Like
    Related on Bored Panda
    Popular on Bored Panda
    Trending on Bored Panda
    Also on Bored Panda
    ADVERTISEMENT