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115
“Am I Going Insane?”: Guy Comes Back Early From Work Trip To See His Home In Chaos
Interview With ExpertThere’s nothing like returning home after a work trip. The relief you feel knowing that you’re finally going to cook in your own kitchen, shower in your own bathroom and sleep in your own bed is indescribable.
So when one man entered his apartment after a work trip got cut short, he was expecting to find peace and quiet. Instead, however, he was greeted by a huge mess and his girlfriend’s family. Below, you’ll find the full story that he recently shared on Reddit, as well as a conversation with relationship expert and President of Couples Therapy Inc., Kathy McMahon, PsyD.
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This man gave his girlfriend a key to his apartment because he trusted her
Image credits: Prostock-studio/Envato (not the actual photo)
But he never expected to find her family crashing at his place after returning home from a work trip
Image credits: marevgenna1985/Envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Elratum
Deciding to share your home with your partner is a big step
Image credits: Sigmund/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Knowing when to present your partner with a key to your place isn’t always easy. You don’t want to scare them off by showing up with it on the second date, but if you’ve been dating for years and they’re still not allowed into your home, that might create tension too.
According to a survey from YouGov, the majority of people believe that it’s appropriate to move in with a partner after dating for one year or less. And a quarter of men think only six months is enough time for a couple to decide to share their own place.
But, of course, there are risks to giving your partner a key, or deciding to share an apartment together, too soon. If the relationship is too fresh, the couple may not have built the communication skills necessary to have difficult conversations about small annoyances.
It’s inevitable for couples to have disagreements over things like how to wash the dishes or how to fold the towels. But it’s a lot easier to work through these minor conflicts when you’ve been together for a longer period of time.
To learn more about this particular situation from a relationship expert, we got in touch with Kathy McMahon, PsyD, President of Couples Therapy Inc. She was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda and share her perspective on this story.
“It is easy to get all mixed up in the details of this story; the destruction of property, invading personal belongings to hook up a PS2, theft of prescription medication, but let’s slow down,” Dr. McMahon shared.
“The fact that she doesn’t see anything wrong with this is not a red flag, it’s a flag on fire”
Image credits: A. C./Unsplash (not the actual photo)
“His girlfriend could have asked him if her family could stay at his house while he was out of town. She could have told him before he left, so he could have prepared for strangers inhabiting his apartment, if he wanted to say yes. She didn’t,” the expert noted. “Full stop. End of story.”
Dr. McMahon says that that’s a horrible betrayal. “Everything else that came after it certainly made it worse,” she noted. “He wasn’t his best self during the ‘discovery’ and outrage. Nevertheless, that’s not the thing to focus on.”
The expert says that the real issue here is between the author and his girlfriend. “Not sure how someone comes to think that inviting a family from out of town to live in someone else’s apartment for a vacation is okay,” Dr. McMahon shared. “Perhaps it is cultural. But whatever the reason, the fact that she doesn’t see anything wrong with this is not a red flag, it’s a flag on fire.”
The therapist also noted that there are some boundaries that shouldn’t have to be spelled out in relationships. “Like ‘It’s not okay to sleep with my sister.’ This doesn’t rise to quite that level, but it’s close, especially if they continue to argue about it. Yes, he is being gaslighted. And maybe exploited.”
Finally, we asked Dr. McMahon if it’s possible to re-establish boundaries to keep the relationship alive after an experience like this. “I suppose,” she says. “But I wouldn’t want to have to police my intimate partner and dream up what else she might think is okay to do.”
Readers immediately took the man’s side, and he chimed in to share more details about the situation
Many assured the author that he had every right to kick the family out
However, a small minority thought that the man had overreacted
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What do you think ?
Scott Rackley 7 months ago
I would have went apeshit over this. My place is my sanctuary, and I have hobbies that cost a whole lot.
Crystalwitch60 7 months ago
Exactly this to bang outta order said gf needs to be an ex
Load More Replies...
LakotaWolf (she/her) 7 months ago
It's the GF's sister/husband and family! XD
Load More Replies...
Crystalwitch60 7 months ago
😂😂😂🤷♀️brilliant lol I’m packing now anyone know their addys lol 😂
Load More Replies...
and_a_touch_of_the_’tism 7 months ago
They stole his meds. That’s a REALLY BIG DEAL. I would call the cops over that, especially since, as someone else said, they could easily accuse him of giving/selling them to them and get him into deep s**t.
Crystalwitch60 7 months ago
Mega huge deal and dangerous to I pray the kids didn’t take em 🤬
Load More Replies...
LakotaWolf (she/her) 7 months ago
OP said in a comment on Reddit: "No, we broke up. And yeah, when I told them about the missing meds, they went after each other. Her parents accused the sister husband, the sis and her husband accused my ex, and my ex accused her sis, then her husband... it's a mess. The sis apologised to me about the house, saying that they had verbal confirmation from my ex that they could use it for 2 weeks without issues, and that when I came back, they thought we were having a couple dispute and I tried to pass my anger on them by trying to make them leave, and they got angry. Not that insane and entitled as I believed... I should probably do a proper update, but I just can't be ársed right now. Also still ongoing."
Load More Replies...
Jeremy James 7 months ago
"He's out of town, so it's okay to trample boundaries because he won't even know," is a massive red flag. With floodlights.
FreeTheUnicorn 7 months ago
Just because someone has a key doesn't mean they didnt commit a crime. I hope OP presses charges, reports the stolen benzos and takes some steps to protect himself from identity theft.
sharyn turnicky 7 months ago
So ex gf??? Stealing d***s is a police matter. Whose to say children didn't take them?
Robert Beveridge 6 months ago
They stole your prescription medication. Nothing else needs said. Cops. Now.
Sue Ellen Bowen 7 months ago
Who does this? I would have called the cops and reported squatters trespassing in my apartment.
*raspberry sound 6 months ago
This is absolutely absurd! It doesn't matter that he didn't write in stone that this kind of thing was completely unacceptable, anyone with a functioning conscience would know that.
Shoopyfloop Roundbird 6 months ago
All of those ppl are totally out lf line! 1)You dont offer up someones home.without their permission 2) as a guest i someones home.you respect their space and, belongings, and you dont rummage through closets or other storage areas, and certainly dont steal prescription medicines.. 3) respect for other ppls homes means you keep it as clean or cleaner than you find it. The girfriend should have offered her place for her family to stay and she could have spent a few quiet nights at her boyfriends. Far less invasive. I suspect she knew her sister would trash the place and didnt want her own things damaged.
barbara Nivens 6 months ago
Somebody saying his gf gave them permission? It's not her apartment. You don't plan on your family using someone else's home. And then getting mad when being thrown out 🤦 And digging through private papers/belongings? Should not have been there without the owner's permission. Hoping she's an ex and the locks are changed.
Mad McQueen 6 months ago
So you could have come home sched time an found what if there weren’t there? Trashed appt? Missing meds? Water and food all over the house? Stolen property because rifled through items to find a ps2? Break it off w her an sue them for damages. Deff break it off and get the key and change locks because who knows if there are copies.
The Starsong Princess 7 months ago
This is 100% the gf’s fault and op should end the relationship. She told her family this is ok and they likely believed her. It doesn’t matter if she’s never behaved like this before (at been caught), this is a dealbreaker. She knew it wasn’t ok or she would have mentioned it in advance.
person (i think) 7 months ago
YTA. Kids were involved, so obviously you should have let them continue to snoop, steal your things, and destroy your house, floors, furniture, et al. It only would have cost you a few thousand for cleaning, repairs, and replacements and you could really start living that doormat lifestyle you have been eyeing
Crystalwitch60 7 months ago
YTA SCUM you are all inhuman !, N op please please tell us she is now your ex this is disgraceful vile of her to hand keys to her family with no respect no asking you if it might be ok first , now to the missing meds u dint say what your on , but as someone who also is on meds a lot of n ones that aredangerous aka morphine n the like just to move I know how dangerous it could be for idiots to take em ffs call the police change the locks do NOT give her a key again hand hers back to ! Along with I’m sorry but we are over this is a huge betrayal of my trust ! Allowing her to be there IS IN NO WAY SHAPE OR FORM OPEN SEASON FOR HER BLOODY FAMILY , end of discussion!
Dr Ero home 6 months ago
What a wonderful spell caster i have ever meet I almost lost my life when my lover of 6 years left to be with another woman. I cried and sober every day, until it got so bad that I reached out to the Internet for help. And i saw a testimony of a spell caster who help a girl called Clara and i said let me give it a try so i contact him for help and he cast a love spell for me which i use in getting my love back and now i am a happy man for what you have done for me, i will not stop sharing your good name to people out there for the good work you done for me. God blesses you as much as you have help me to get my Love back, it is ideal i published this on a local newspaper for others to brings more customers to him, he worth more of this and his reward are sure. thanks and visit him on [drerohomeofgrace@gmail.com]
Crystalwitch60 7 months ago
U mean like you are !!!!!! Pot kettle lol it happens deal with it
Load More Replies... Scott Rackley 7 months ago
I would have went apeshit over this. My place is my sanctuary, and I have hobbies that cost a whole lot.
Crystalwitch60 7 months ago
Exactly this to bang outta order said gf needs to be an ex
Load More Replies... LakotaWolf (she/her) 7 months ago
It's the GF's sister/husband and family! XD
Load More Replies... Crystalwitch60 7 months ago
😂😂😂🤷♀️brilliant lol I’m packing now anyone know their addys lol 😂
Load More Replies... and_a_touch_of_the_’tism 7 months ago
They stole his meds. That’s a REALLY BIG DEAL. I would call the cops over that, especially since, as someone else said, they could easily accuse him of giving/selling them to them and get him into deep s**t.
Crystalwitch60 7 months ago
Mega huge deal and dangerous to I pray the kids didn’t take em 🤬
Load More Replies... LakotaWolf (she/her) 7 months ago
OP said in a comment on Reddit: "No, we broke up. And yeah, when I told them about the missing meds, they went after each other. Her parents accused the sister husband, the sis and her husband accused my ex, and my ex accused her sis, then her husband... it's a mess. The sis apologised to me about the house, saying that they had verbal confirmation from my ex that they could use it for 2 weeks without issues, and that when I came back, they thought we were having a couple dispute and I tried to pass my anger on them by trying to make them leave, and they got angry. Not that insane and entitled as I believed... I should probably do a proper update, but I just can't be ársed right now. Also still ongoing."
Load More Replies... Jeremy James 7 months ago
"He's out of town, so it's okay to trample boundaries because he won't even know," is a massive red flag. With floodlights.
FreeTheUnicorn 7 months ago
Just because someone has a key doesn't mean they didnt commit a crime. I hope OP presses charges, reports the stolen benzos and takes some steps to protect himself from identity theft.
sharyn turnicky 7 months ago
So ex gf??? Stealing d***s is a police matter. Whose to say children didn't take them?
Robert Beveridge 6 months ago
They stole your prescription medication. Nothing else needs said. Cops. Now.
Sue Ellen Bowen 7 months ago
Who does this? I would have called the cops and reported squatters trespassing in my apartment.
*raspberry sound 6 months ago
This is absolutely absurd! It doesn't matter that he didn't write in stone that this kind of thing was completely unacceptable, anyone with a functioning conscience would know that.
Shoopyfloop Roundbird 6 months ago
All of those ppl are totally out lf line! 1)You dont offer up someones home.without their permission 2) as a guest i someones home.you respect their space and, belongings, and you dont rummage through closets or other storage areas, and certainly dont steal prescription medicines.. 3) respect for other ppls homes means you keep it as clean or cleaner than you find it. The girfriend should have offered her place for her family to stay and she could have spent a few quiet nights at her boyfriends. Far less invasive. I suspect she knew her sister would trash the place and didnt want her own things damaged.
barbara Nivens 6 months ago
Somebody saying his gf gave them permission? It's not her apartment. You don't plan on your family using someone else's home. And then getting mad when being thrown out 🤦 And digging through private papers/belongings? Should not have been there without the owner's permission. Hoping she's an ex and the locks are changed.
Mad McQueen 6 months ago
So you could have come home sched time an found what if there weren’t there? Trashed appt? Missing meds? Water and food all over the house? Stolen property because rifled through items to find a ps2? Break it off w her an sue them for damages. Deff break it off and get the key and change locks because who knows if there are copies.
The Starsong Princess 7 months ago
This is 100% the gf’s fault and op should end the relationship. She told her family this is ok and they likely believed her. It doesn’t matter if she’s never behaved like this before (at been caught), this is a dealbreaker. She knew it wasn’t ok or she would have mentioned it in advance.
person (i think) 7 months ago
YTA. Kids were involved, so obviously you should have let them continue to snoop, steal your things, and destroy your house, floors, furniture, et al. It only would have cost you a few thousand for cleaning, repairs, and replacements and you could really start living that doormat lifestyle you have been eyeing
Crystalwitch60 7 months ago
YTA SCUM you are all inhuman !, N op please please tell us she is now your ex this is disgraceful vile of her to hand keys to her family with no respect no asking you if it might be ok first , now to the missing meds u dint say what your on , but as someone who also is on meds a lot of n ones that aredangerous aka morphine n the like just to move I know how dangerous it could be for idiots to take em ffs call the police change the locks do NOT give her a key again hand hers back to ! Along with I’m sorry but we are over this is a huge betrayal of my trust ! Allowing her to be there IS IN NO WAY SHAPE OR FORM OPEN SEASON FOR HER BLOODY FAMILY , end of discussion!
Dr Ero home 6 months ago
What a wonderful spell caster i have ever meet I almost lost my life when my lover of 6 years left to be with another woman. I cried and sober every day, until it got so bad that I reached out to the Internet for help. And i saw a testimony of a spell caster who help a girl called Clara and i said let me give it a try so i contact him for help and he cast a love spell for me which i use in getting my love back and now i am a happy man for what you have done for me, i will not stop sharing your good name to people out there for the good work you done for me. God blesses you as much as you have help me to get my Love back, it is ideal i published this on a local newspaper for others to brings more customers to him, he worth more of this and his reward are sure. thanks and visit him on [drerohomeofgrace@gmail.com]
Crystalwitch60 7 months ago
U mean like you are !!!!!! Pot kettle lol it happens deal with it
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