Part 1: For a Statistically Average Straight Guy
“Incredibly depressing!” – The Basic Times
“They cannot be serious…” – The Dependant
“The least useful guide I’ve read in years!” – The Brobserver
There is quite a bunch of us girls working here at SugarDaters. It so happened that our two male colleagues have shared their thoughts, concerns and advice on the complex subject of getting laid. Although these points would likely be useless in the case of Sugar Dating, they could be of substantial value in the prototypical average life scenario. The scenario that is not applicable to our SugarBabes and SugarDaddies, yet the one that most of us, young people trapped at the office on mating season, are programmed to go through. Please take it as our collective effort to help anyone facing the extreme urgency of experiencing some physical intimacy with minimum effort and maximum results.
From the best-selling authors of a wide range self-help audiobooks that are yet to be published (5 Reasons You Will Never Have a Boyfriend, How to Trick Him Into Marrying You In Less Than 4 Weeks), comes a new piece regarding increasingly problematic phenomenon in today’s society – getting laid. Here are our top 8 tips for your future success.
More info: sugardaters.com
#1 In for an effort
Girls appreciate persistence – the good old classics that helps them feel appreciated. Keep trying, and eventually a “no” will turn into a “maybe” and a “maybe” will soon evolve into “yes”. If it hasn’t happened yet, try harder. Because desperation is the new sexy.
#2 Be creative
By creativity we mean creating your image in the eyes of another party that has nothing to do with your real self. Instead, try out the greatest art of all time – faking it. Fake it ‘till you make it. If you like making it, keep faking it. It can be literally anything – from being extremely talented entrepreneur to world class bungee jumper. Pick your object of fakery and stick with it. You will become a master in no time.
Image credits: giphy.com
#3 Appear Confident
Simply the most attractive feature in a person. Ask anyone. It’s a fact. Confidence stems from within. Just have it.
#4 Appear financially stable
Show you got the money covered: pick her up in a neat car, throw some bling bling on her way while complimenting her extraordinary personality and intelligence, and you will see statistically no less than 4.5 extremely attractive individuals running towards you in slow motion.
#5 Shoot for the stars
from 9 p.m. to 11 p.m. Then slowly decrease your expectations accordingly to the time and probability of getting any at the current place. 2 a.m.: grab whoever is left. If you’re alone by 4 a.m., this was not your night. Start off with lower expectations next time.
Image credits: giphy.com
#6 Be funny
Be funny. Make her laugh. Make it look natural.
Image credits: giphy.com
#7 Be a good listener
Pick the noisiest place in the club and make her tell all about her ex and how badly Kylie Jenner’s new lip gloss line sucks. You can practice your best listening face in front of the mirror. However, the key is to follow her facial expressions and imitate them immediately. They call it expression of empathy and it increases the probability of getting laid at least by 97%.
#8 Have a wingman
The greatest mistake an individual considering a possibility of getting laid can make is not having a wingman. A persuasive wingman is one of the crucial components of short-term success, nearly as valuable as a nice watch or several printed copies of your bank statement. Remember that your wingman cannot be significantly more (or less!) attractive than you are. A good wingman has to ideally blend into your presence while discretely maintaining the flow of potential mates throughout the night.
At the end of the day, it’s all about the 3 great C’s that make the mastering of getting laid so much easier: Creativity, Confidence and Commitment. Commitment to your ultimate goal of getting laid, that is.
Make sure to pre-order our newest soon-to-be-written bestseller:
How to Get Laid as a Girl: When Simply Being There Doesn’t Help
Image credits: giphy.com
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