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“Toxic Support” is a self-initiated social project I created to help reveal the toxicity of phrases people say to someone with depression.

Most of us have heard some of these phrases or said them themselves. I am not an exception... on both fronts.

Having your feelings and/or the fact of their absence devalued and frowned upon because of something you can’t even control as a person with depression is like being forcefully muted and tied up in a tank filling up with water.

More info: yuliyaosyka.com | Instagram | youtube.com

#1

You Just Want Attention!

You Just Want Attention!

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Average Grizzlies Fan
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is painfully true. Many people that need help can be put down by just saying that they are seeking attention. People are actually in pain and saying that they are seeking attention doesn't do anything.

Ana Vaquer Perez
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I feel this, not just with depression but with my ADHD as well. People will say, you just need to pay more attention, your just looking for attention, just get more organized. And I’m over here like YEAH??? YOU GO GET YOURSELF (I know you cant just get ADHD like a cold pls no hate) ADHD AND TELL ME HOW IT WORKS!

Grace
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So true. I have ADHD and when I forget what was requested of me, I ask for a repetion and the usual responce is, "Why didn't you pay attention." And this is from the people who know I hav ADHD.

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Storm Anne
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, if they really wanted attention YOU WOULD KNOW. It really sucks to have a drama queen friend. Trust me, it can turn into a toxic freindship.

Likewise, when being around someone with depression, we don't know what to say, and emotions of sadness, irritation, fear, guilt, and even anger may occur. These feelings obscure the person who needs our support, and instead of being there for them, we shake those feelings off by saying, "it'll be fine, you're just tired" or something of that sort. And it helps—we get rid of the approaching anxiety of feeling uncomfortable, but simultaneously, we hurt the person we wanted to support in the first place, burying them deeper into their depression and the feeling of not being heard.

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    #2

    Pull Yourself Together!

    Pull Yourself Together!

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    SeaShell
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah, that really doesn't help

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    #3

    It Could Be Worse!

    It Could Be Worse!

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    Jade Lynn - Panda's Brat
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It could be worse, but it could still be A LOT better -_-

    Acceber
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This year it's been "But we're all in the same situation" - in terms of lockdown yes. But how you're coping may be very different to how I'm coping

    Jenn C
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Saying it could be worse just makes you feel depressed and guilty.

    So I wondered, how can I facilitate spreading the message and hopefully informing people which phrases to avoid saying to someone with depression if you want to show support? Contemplating the form of the message I wanted to share, I realized that, as an illustrator, my weapon of choice is visuals. Therefore, I wanted to illustrate the phrases as they feel to me, make them literally visible to the eye of someone who might not have been able to see them before. I intentionally chose a bright and optimistic color palette to give the illustrations a sense of cognitive dissonance with the tone of the message. I wanted to juxtapose the toxic phrase with the illustration and an explanation of how this phrase affects a person with depression.

    #4

    But You Have A Beautiful Life!

    But You Have A Beautiful Life!

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    sylvantic
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    also, this adds shame onto the deppresed person. "Why am I depressed, I'm not in a horrible situation."

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    #5

    Be Positive!

    Be Positive!

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    Viviane
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Okay... I'm positive that you're lacking in compassion."

    Anne Le Blond
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or from the very same people ruining your life; it’s what you choose to make of it. way to push the blame on me for your actions, f******s.

    My hope is that these posters make visible that which is often overlooked, provide a glimpse into the reality of depression, and help support those suffering from the illness.

    #6

    You're Being Dramatic!

    You're Being Dramatic!

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    Julia King
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    One time I told my dad I didn´t want to live anymore, he told be to shut up and to stop being dramatic

    Viviane
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Some adults tell children and adolescents to "stop being dramatic", without thinking that some children and many adolescents have adult-sized emotions without the life experience to handle them. So they'll need support for that. Add mental health issues and they'll need extra help.

    Chaotic_pansexual
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would get told with by my parents when I told them about how bad my anxiety got. They only started taking me seriously when I began having horrible panic attacks back and forth.

    #7

    Be Grateful For What You Have!

    Be Grateful For What You Have!

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    SeaShell
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm not saying you shouldn't be grateful for what you have, but if you're in depression, it's hard to be grateful for anything

    Jenn C
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes, let's add guilt on top of the depression, and make you feel worse.

    I am really thankful to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America for their support on this initiative and a psychologist and Gestalt therapist Anastasia Plokhikh for her support and being the editor on this project!

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    #8

    You Think Only Of Yourself!

    You Think Only Of Yourself!

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    David Butler
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Usually it's the people who say this are the ones who only think of themselves, as everyone else's reality is affecting their mood.

    sylvantic
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    this just puts guilt on the depressed person. this makes it worse.

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    #9

    This Too Shall Pass!

    This Too Shall Pass!

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    sylvantic
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I say this to myself when I'm feeling depressed. It helps me, but I'd hate it if anyone said that to me. Sometimes, my meds don't work perfect and I don't feel great. This phrase helps.

    Uncommon Boston
    Community Member
    Premium
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I say this to end a conversation about how poorly I am feeling. It means I will get through this, on my own, don't worry about me. It is meant to push others away, to keep myself safe. I do not want their help.

    SeaShell
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Time doesn't solve everything

    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I agree, saying this to yourself can help through a tough phase. Unfortunately, a lot of the times people say it to others either because they simply don't know how else to support them (I've been one of those myself) or to prevent them from sharing their feelings further.

    Soap
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    This comment has been deleted.

    #10

    Quit Whining!

    Quit Whining!

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    California Jones
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Every damn day. I'm not allowed to say the words "I'm Tired."

    Soap
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Go ahead and complain to me. I'll listen :)

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    #11

    You Are What You Think!

    You Are What You Think!

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    David Butler
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If "you are what you eat" was ever real, the world would be full of coprophages.

    cassiushumanmother
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My rabbit agree with your comment, she's not a giant turd.

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