Employee Has Had Enough After Annoying HR Lady Kept Pestering Her About Silly Things And Touching Her
We usually spend more time being around our colleagues than our friends. The difference, however, is that we can’t choose who we work with. So there’s no guarantee that we will hit it off with everyone in the office.
The most we can do is try to form an environment where everyone is respectful and maintains a professional relationship. But some people aren’t even that considerate.
Ironically, the HR lady at the company Reddit user FellTheBlackWolf earns her living from is damaging interpersonal communication more than she’s fostering it. Her inappropriate behavior got so bad that employees are dreading every second they have to interact with her.
Sick and tired of the obnoxious woman, FellTheBlackWolf made a post on the r/antiwork subreddit about her to remind us that everyone has different limits and we have to be mindful of the way we interact with each other.
This introverted woman is going to work without the intention to make friends
Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio (not the actual photo)
But the company’s HR lady thinks she’s “lonely” and is forcing her to interact
Image credits: Sora Shimazaki (not the actual photo)
Image credits: felltheblackwolf
Having friends at work can be really useful.
“Our research has repeatedly shown a concrete link between having a best friend at work and the amount of effort employees expend in their job. For example, women who strongly agree they have a best friend at work are more than twice as likely to be engaged (63%) compared with the women who say otherwise (29%),” Annamarie Mann of Gallup said in a statement.
Mannn even suggests to put the science aside and look more holistically at what’s happening in the workforce: “We now live and work in an era where many employees expect their job to be more than a paycheck. The paycheck still matters, of course, but employees seek out and stay with organizations that have exceptional workplace cultures,” she continued. “And while there are numerous components of these cultures, they are often characterized by overall feelings of trust, belongingness and inclusion.”
When HR advisory and research firm Future Workplace conducted a study with Virgin Pulse of more than 2,000 managers and employees in 10 countries, it found that nearly 1 in 10 people have no friends at work, and more than half have five or fewer. And those with few friends did, in fact, saiy they felt lonely either very often or always and disengaged in their work.
Almost two-thirds said they would be more inclined to stay at their company longer if they had more friends—this was especially true for millennials, who consider their manager as their work parent and their co-workers their work family.
So assuming she doesn’t have any ulterior motives, we can at least understand where the HR lady is coming from. However, the way she goes about it is appalling.
As her post went viral, the woman provided more information on her workplace in the comments
Why is it that in the workplace, and in Society in general, that introverts are expected to molly-coddle self declared extroverts? Why should someone who is okay with their own thoughts be forced to spend time with someone who is terrified of being by themselves? Introverts don't need to be "fixed".
Because extroverts run the world. They make the rules and the rest of us have to fall in line.
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Years ago I worked in a government department. Had a desk on the 'quiet' side of an open plan office which suited as I worked long days requiring intense concentration and lack of distraction. The other side of the office was party central, constant talking, one co-worker sang opera all frigging day and they just never shut up. The Assistant Director TOLD me to move into the noisy area as I was too isolated....I outright refused saying I couldn't effectively do my job if constantly interrupted...especially the bloody singing...he went to the Exec Director and made up some BS excuse and she then tried to have me move. I again refused and kept asking what the purpose was for the move. Noone could come up with an answer except for my 'isolation'....we are talking about 15m from my area to theirs....they could clearly see me and me them. They drove me nuts....as an introvert and a little noise phobic it drove me crazy....
I am an introvert and noise phobic too. My last job was working at a community college library. No office. Desk in the middle of the room. Students who acted more than high school kids rather than college students. The noise... OMG, the noise, you wouldn't believe how loud it was! Everytime when I went home, I would sleep for 2 hours just to recover.
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There was a boss of mine, long time ago, who made it her mission to get me to ‘open up’. She tried to hug me, would ask really personal questions, make assertions that ‘bisexual = loose morals’, tell me that I’d be happier if I had babies and came off my meds…etc. It came to a head when she jumped me from behind to hug me the day I returned to work after being sexually assaulted in the street outside the office (I was off for 3 weeks). I didn’t react well, nearly bashed out her teeth with my elbow. Do not touch people.
Wow! I'm so sorry. Both for the sexual assault and that you had to deal with someone like that as your boss. She should be happy if she didn't get more than a couple of bruises for it
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I hate all of the 'team-building' c**p that corporations do to 'increase moral'. Wanna increase my moral? Don't make me do stupid team-building exercises or retreats, just give me more money and let me do my ducking job.
Got dragged to the mountains to team build. I was just filling in until my supervisor got back from medical leave. We went to a tiny restaurant that clearly couldn't handle the number of people we had. By the time they took our orders I was starving. I think it was around 10 PM when we finished. And the "games " they have you play are crazy.
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Forced socializing in the workplace was my most hated thing about working in an office. I left at 6am each morning and got home at 6pm each night with 3 hours to myself each evening, that's it. I do not need to chat with co-workers, I don't want to go for drinks and wtf is this team building bs? I got judged so hard for just wanting to go home at the end of the day. I finally got a job where I was allowed to work at home and it was like a 200 lb weight was lifted. No more people, it was awesome and I got so much more done.
I got reprimanded for not going to a dinner. I heard almost weekly about how expensive the staff was so how much would two steak dinners be and drinks. I was saving them money. They demanded we go to lunch like once a month. Some of us couldn't afford 15-20. For lunch. Sometimes they would pay. Toxic.
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When I was an Executive Assistant, I would dread administrative assistant day (it's a thing here in the States). Boss wanted to take me out to lunch, but he always chose a steak joint (I'm vegetarian). He wanted to chat about my personal life, but I'm super private about that stuff. I'm so glad to be out of that career path and work from home. Even on-site, I work in a cubicle farm, and I love it.
Yeah talk to the boss. She is overstepping. Work is work. Socializing is after work. Breaks are personal time to decompress. Virtual coffee? Keep it to your face an pretend to drink though the event. You're there you don't have to participate. Is it mandatory? If not don't bother. Meetings are for that nonsense. And the touching? Say you just don't like it and it makes u uncomfortable. Along with the garish vulgar comments. State it's a workplace not a dorm or sorority. And since she's HR maybe she needs to go to some classes the boss can set up for her to re evaluate her position.
Who do you complain to if HR is the one making you uncomfortable?
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I’m an extrovert, but I would be accidentally elbowing anyone who did this to me. Or closing the door in their face. That’s not just extroverted, that’s deranged and cruel.
How was sending a survey to 4 coworkers anonymous.? You know who you sent it to and they have to know who you are to answer questions about you.
First, actually touching someone without permission can actually be deemed assault. Second, aside from being unprofessional, this HR person has lost their mind, if they ever had one. She is opening the door for a major lawsuit against the company. Find out who is over her and complain. Take it to the board of directors if you have to. Trust me, they will act because the last thing they want is to see your name as the new owner. This is a business not a daycare. How did she ever get a job in HR?
I was with her until she made the comment about HR wanting to seem "young and hip." Went back and read again and I feel like she has a really bad attitude. I'm an introvert. I am super uncomfortable with work functions and I hate feeling forced into things. That being said, I can still manage to function without being rude or insulting to the people I work with. While I get some of her points, I also feel like she sounds like a terrible person to have to work with and she needs to find a job where she never interacts with people because she's not an introvert, she is a snob.
Employers like you to be connected to your co-workers because then they feel it will be harder for you to leave, period. Why else would they care? If your co-workers are touching you, tell them to please stop. If they don't, report it to HR. Whether it's sexual or not, it's still unwanted physical contact and it needs to be addressed. If an employer "expects" you to be spending time with co-workers outside of work for "team-building," tell them you expect to be paid for that time.
Why is it that in the workplace, and in Society in general, that introverts are expected to molly-coddle self declared extroverts? Why should someone who is okay with their own thoughts be forced to spend time with someone who is terrified of being by themselves? Introverts don't need to be "fixed".
Because extroverts run the world. They make the rules and the rest of us have to fall in line.
Load More Replies... Years ago I worked in a government department. Had a desk on the 'quiet' side of an open plan office which suited as I worked long days requiring intense concentration and lack of distraction. The other side of the office was party central, constant talking, one co-worker sang opera all frigging day and they just never shut up. The Assistant Director TOLD me to move into the noisy area as I was too isolated....I outright refused saying I couldn't effectively do my job if constantly interrupted...especially the bloody singing...he went to the Exec Director and made up some BS excuse and she then tried to have me move. I again refused and kept asking what the purpose was for the move. Noone could come up with an answer except for my 'isolation'....we are talking about 15m from my area to theirs....they could clearly see me and me them. They drove me nuts....as an introvert and a little noise phobic it drove me crazy....
I am an introvert and noise phobic too. My last job was working at a community college library. No office. Desk in the middle of the room. Students who acted more than high school kids rather than college students. The noise... OMG, the noise, you wouldn't believe how loud it was! Everytime when I went home, I would sleep for 2 hours just to recover.
Load More Replies... There was a boss of mine, long time ago, who made it her mission to get me to ‘open up’. She tried to hug me, would ask really personal questions, make assertions that ‘bisexual = loose morals’, tell me that I’d be happier if I had babies and came off my meds…etc. It came to a head when she jumped me from behind to hug me the day I returned to work after being sexually assaulted in the street outside the office (I was off for 3 weeks). I didn’t react well, nearly bashed out her teeth with my elbow. Do not touch people.
Wow! I'm so sorry. Both for the sexual assault and that you had to deal with someone like that as your boss. She should be happy if she didn't get more than a couple of bruises for it
Load More Replies... I hate all of the 'team-building' c**p that corporations do to 'increase moral'. Wanna increase my moral? Don't make me do stupid team-building exercises or retreats, just give me more money and let me do my ducking job.
Got dragged to the mountains to team build. I was just filling in until my supervisor got back from medical leave. We went to a tiny restaurant that clearly couldn't handle the number of people we had. By the time they took our orders I was starving. I think it was around 10 PM when we finished. And the "games " they have you play are crazy.
Load More Replies... Forced socializing in the workplace was my most hated thing about working in an office. I left at 6am each morning and got home at 6pm each night with 3 hours to myself each evening, that's it. I do not need to chat with co-workers, I don't want to go for drinks and wtf is this team building bs? I got judged so hard for just wanting to go home at the end of the day. I finally got a job where I was allowed to work at home and it was like a 200 lb weight was lifted. No more people, it was awesome and I got so much more done.
I got reprimanded for not going to a dinner. I heard almost weekly about how expensive the staff was so how much would two steak dinners be and drinks. I was saving them money. They demanded we go to lunch like once a month. Some of us couldn't afford 15-20. For lunch. Sometimes they would pay. Toxic.
Load More Replies... When I was an Executive Assistant, I would dread administrative assistant day (it's a thing here in the States). Boss wanted to take me out to lunch, but he always chose a steak joint (I'm vegetarian). He wanted to chat about my personal life, but I'm super private about that stuff. I'm so glad to be out of that career path and work from home. Even on-site, I work in a cubicle farm, and I love it.
Yeah talk to the boss. She is overstepping. Work is work. Socializing is after work. Breaks are personal time to decompress. Virtual coffee? Keep it to your face an pretend to drink though the event. You're there you don't have to participate. Is it mandatory? If not don't bother. Meetings are for that nonsense. And the touching? Say you just don't like it and it makes u uncomfortable. Along with the garish vulgar comments. State it's a workplace not a dorm or sorority. And since she's HR maybe she needs to go to some classes the boss can set up for her to re evaluate her position.
Who do you complain to if HR is the one making you uncomfortable?
Load More Replies... I’m an extrovert, but I would be accidentally elbowing anyone who did this to me. Or closing the door in their face. That’s not just extroverted, that’s deranged and cruel.
How was sending a survey to 4 coworkers anonymous.? You know who you sent it to and they have to know who you are to answer questions about you.
First, actually touching someone without permission can actually be deemed assault. Second, aside from being unprofessional, this HR person has lost their mind, if they ever had one. She is opening the door for a major lawsuit against the company. Find out who is over her and complain. Take it to the board of directors if you have to. Trust me, they will act because the last thing they want is to see your name as the new owner. This is a business not a daycare. How did she ever get a job in HR?
I was with her until she made the comment about HR wanting to seem "young and hip." Went back and read again and I feel like she has a really bad attitude. I'm an introvert. I am super uncomfortable with work functions and I hate feeling forced into things. That being said, I can still manage to function without being rude or insulting to the people I work with. While I get some of her points, I also feel like she sounds like a terrible person to have to work with and she needs to find a job where she never interacts with people because she's not an introvert, she is a snob.
Employers like you to be connected to your co-workers because then they feel it will be harder for you to leave, period. Why else would they care? If your co-workers are touching you, tell them to please stop. If they don't, report it to HR. Whether it's sexual or not, it's still unwanted physical contact and it needs to be addressed. If an employer "expects" you to be spending time with co-workers outside of work for "team-building," tell them you expect to be paid for that time.
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