Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
177
Man Walks Out On Newborn Daughter After C-Section “Ruins” His Perfect Family, Wife Left In Shock
Unlike moms, dads miss out on direct contact with the baby through carrying, delivering, and nursing, which can make them feel less connected with their child. However, the attachment should come with time, and to move things along, there are some practices that can help strengthen the bond.
Unfortunately, this dad didn’t want to try any of the remedies and demanded a divorce after he started feeling like he couldn’t bond with his daughter. His wife was left completely baffled by his statement, which pushed her to seek advice online.
RELATED:
Due to less direct contact with the newborn, some dads may take longer to bond with their baby
Image credits: Jimmy Conover / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Just like this dad, but instead of trying to strengthen the connection, he started demanding a divorce
Image credits: engin akyurt / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Ethan Sykes/ unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: ChallengeConnect590
Fathers don’t have the same feeling of bonding and attachment that moms do
Image credits: Andrej Lišakov / unsplash (not the actual photo)
While dads don’t go through pregnancy, nor do they experience the hormones, the changing body, and the giving of birth, their lives turn upside down too, leaving them feeling all sorts of emotions. These feelings can become very overwhelming when they don’t feel connected or bonded with their newborn. Fathers don’t have the same feeling of bonding and attachment that moms do, which can make them feel distinct and all-consuming emotions.
“One of the things men get hit with, especially first time fathers, is the enormous sense of responsibility and protection,” says parenting coach Richard Horowitz. “That might interfere in the short term with that sense of bonding with the child.”
There are many other reasons why parents, fathers in particular, might not feel connected with their child right off the bat. The dads who feel like they don’t have a ton of experience with babies might get too in their head about it and worry that they don’t have it all figured out like others. They may also be unsure on how to knit that tight bond when the baby doesn’t do much besides sleeping, eating, pooping, and crying. If they couldn’t see their baby be born (like in the case of C-section) or be there after birth, it can take longer to bond in these instances as well.
But it shouldn’t be anything major to worry about. It’s common for dads not to feel instant attachment to their child, as studies have found that their oxytocin (“love hormone”) levels only truly increase when they spend some time caring for their children.
Spending time together is all a parent needs to bond with their baby
Image credits: Toa Heftiba / unsplash (not the actual photo)
It might be hard to do, but dads who truly want to strengthen the bond with their child after welcoming them into this world should put aside the hesitation and anxieties they’re feeling and simply spend time together—it’s all the baby really needs to feel safe and loved.
In reality, bonding seems a lot more difficult than it really is. Parents have a lot of natural instincts that help them take care of a baby. They have to build on them and spend time together, and the bond will be created in no time.
James Di Properzio, a father of four and co-author of The Baby Bonding Book for Dads, recommends dads fitting the quality time through cuddles, taking the night shift, getting involved in feeding and diaper changing, and comforting the baby when they’re in distress. This might all be intimidating and challenging at first, but dads shouldn’t just give up by handing the baby to the mom—instead, they should try to exude reassuring and calm energy that will put everyone, including the baby, at ease.
There’s a lot of information available to parents full of easy-to-follow instructions on every daily activity, from holding the baby to changing a nappy and bathing a newborn. To feel more confident in spending time and bonding with their baby, all parents need is a little practice. And after they have mastered it, not only will they feel more connected to their child, but they’ll also allow the other parent to take a break from parenting duties. This is important, as both parents need time off to recharge and relax!
The woman provided more information in the comments
Some commenters suspected that the man was just looking for excuses to divorce his wife
Poll Question
Total votes ·
Thanks! Check out the results:
Total votes ·
Newsletter
Subscribe to Access
Exclusive Polls
By entering your email and clicking Subscribe, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. You are also agreeing to our Privacy Policy.
Thank you! You've successfully subscribed to newsletters!
Explore more of these tags
What do you think ?
Miriam Insidecor 9 months ago
This man is scum and your daughter deserves better. Get rid of him and make sure everyone knows exactly why he decided to abandon his child.
Leyre 9 months ago (edited)
There is an update, it is from 9 months ago, at the end they divorced because the husband keeps saying that he cannot form a bond with the daughter. He doesn't go to visitation and doesn't pay the established child support. But there seems to be no other family out there (which is what I suspected).
Michael Melfa 9 months ago
Figures. Guy is a deadbeat, child was born, decided this was too much man, and bolted with the weakest excuse he could think of.
Load More Replies...
amy lee 9 months ago
You can fix them like you would a dog. Less testosterone might result in him thinking with his head as opposed to the backside.
Load More Replies...
Tamra 9 months ago
This poor woman is married to a complete idiot and useless human being. I hope she sues for the max child support.
Mike F 9 months ago
There have been several updates to the story. Click the user name at the bottom of the post.
Load More Replies... Rachel Pelz 9 months ago
Mental health issue and refusal to acknowlegde this possibility sounds likely to me. Instead of dealing with it -or at least considering to give therapy a try- he decides to live in a dream world where this one unchangeable little event would have changed everything. Poor mom and poor child, once it will learn about its dad.
Crystalwitch60 9 months ago
No it’s just an excuse hence not wanting to go ! Cos he know dam well nothings wrong he just don’t want her n the baby basically ,
Load More Replies...
Christos Arvanitis 9 months ago (edited)
My guess is that he was cheating and already had the woman that we was going to "start over" with picked out. Glad that she left him. What a POS
Italian-Swiss Panda 9 months ago (edited)
Why TF would they want to salvage this "marriage"? He's a despicable human being, I can't believe such people actually exist. Maybe it's just his very weird and of course wrong excuse to a way out of the marriage because there's someone else? And no balls to be honest and open with the spouse, but doing an atrocious and coward move? Oh my sorry I'm rambling I can't believe what I'm reading...
person (i think) 9 months ago
Jesus. I bonded with my godson, even though I didn’t meet him until he was 2 months old, I don’t really like babies, and I was worried about my friend adopting a kid with a bunch of health issues (worried about the health issues, not the adopting). It wasn’t instantaneous, but I would die for that kid, and he isn’t even mine. WTF is wrong with that guy. It is also infuriating when people refuse to get therapy for things that is blatantly a “therapy would make your life better” sort of thing
Apatheist Account2 9 months ago
Incredibly immature. There was something deeper going on, maybe about the OP being NB.
Sara Shamsabadi 9 months ago
she's asking the wrong questions...he was looking for an excuse to bail out of the marriage & responsibilities of parenthood. Please leave this clown & focus on you & your baby.
Janelle Collard 9 months ago
Hope OP got full custody + child support. She's actually lucky - he was either cheating + already had his next wife picked out or he's mentally unwell + refuses to get help.
ElfVibratorGlitter 9 months ago
This is really sad. I just found out yesterday our baby doesn't have a heartbeat.
Crystalwitch60 9 months ago (edited)
Well this was a year or more ago , n I was hoping for an update , I seriously hope he got his s**t together ! Cos that is the most PATHETIC excuse for leaving I’ve heard in my 60 yrs ! Like really dude !! Blaming your poor precious daughter , when in reality you could have LOST THEM BOTH as it was an emergency c section!!! not seeing her born is bs ! when mothers have an emergency c section a lot of them don’t see them being born as they are knocked out !!! They still bond , as do the fathers !! basically he is one immature pos ,, and op as others have said when they show you who they really are BELIVE IT !! I pray you got out of this man’s life ,you and your daughter are better than him ! N the reason he won’t go to the docs , cos post natal depression affects men to ! Is cos HE KNOWS ITS JUST AN EXCUSE TO LEAVE YOU , and his responsibility’s , he’s far from ready to be a father !!and anyone woman as ended up with him moving on needs her head testing cos he WILL DO THIS AGAIN !!!x
Ginger Winters 7 months ago
They got divorce. He doesn't do visitation by his choice. He doesn't pay court ordered child support. His father is siding with her and helping out
Load More Replies... Tyke 9 months ago
I know what you mean but a baby would be more loyal than this
Load More Replies...
Kim Kermes 9 months ago
Funny thing, no fathers were allowed in the birthing room in the US until the 70s, and most of them were decent fathers. Mine was a pretty good dad, and I believe my mom sent him home once she was checked 8n, rather sit in a smoke filled waiting room. 50s.
Lena Flising 9 months ago
He seems EXTREMELY insensitive. Just cause HIS perfekt idea of a birth didn't happen, he wants to ignore both you and HIS daughter, as if you are not Real People, and just start over with a new "cast "... What does he think will happen to his daughter now? How would HE have reacted if his dad had done this to him?
meeeeeeeeeeee 9 months ago
I wouldn't leave the child with a freak who talks such shite. It's possible she's in danger being around him.
Peeka_Mimi 9 months ago
The baby was 4mo when this was posted. Sorry but he's found someone else and is using this as an excuse, so he doesn't look like the monster he is.
UKDeek 9 months ago
This must be absolutely heartbreaking, as the OP has stated they are NB so must have thought they have found someone decent and tolerant in this world, only for them to turn out to be a complete bottomfeeder. Best advice I could possibly give is this - let him go, as he has made his position quite clear. There are other people out there who will be more than happy to be in a relationship with someone who already has a child, and it isn't worth wasting time and effort on something that will never be right ever again.
The_Nicest_Misanthrope 9 months ago
You want a magic spell? Punch him in the f*****g face, girl. What a pathetic excuse for a 'man'! I hope his s***m stops working
Jay Cee 6 months ago
My wife and I attended childbirth lessons run by the National Childbirth Trust (UK) and the one talk that really stood out was when a midwife said: "And now, gentlemen, a little hint, in both mountaineering and childbirth the best advice is DO NOT LOOK DOWN!" Yep, keilands rotation and the forceps delivery of a 9lb 4oz daughter and I'm surprised my wife ever spoke to me again.
Angie Falzarano 6 months ago
Ask how his father bonded with him after his birth. Father's weren't allowed in delivery rooms. This is a more recent occurrence like the last 20 or so years. This man wants out of the marriage and will use any excuse to get out. Guarantee he has a piece on the side and wants to be with her. Not uncommon with married men when wives are pregnant.this is not fixable. Go see a lawyer and get full cuatody.
Darshan 6 months ago
Its obvi to me theres more women involved during pregg periods.. get his face and story out in the digital world... theres gd news just sign the dotted line n fly like bat outta hell
Darshan 6 months ago
U and baby have a bright future. Just not with this chimp
Load More Replies... 
兵藤義一 7 months ago
帝王切開は異常な出産方法です。古代では考えられないことでした。母子ともに死ぬ運命でした。私たちは科学の力で神の領域を侵し、神の意思決定を歪めてしまいました。これは罪深いことです。人間に命を与えること自体が罪です。私は男性ですが、このブログの読者のほとんどは女性です。あなた方は物事を多角的に見ることのできないカルトのようです。欧米はカルトのような国なので仕方がないのです。 娘が帝王切開で生まれた時、私はとても辛い気持ちになりました。螺旋遺伝子の運命が娘に引き継がれてしまったのです。娘は死ぬべきだったと思いました。妻も死ぬべきだったと思いました。娘が成長して子供を産んだ時、また腹を裂かなければならない。私はそれが苦痛でした。そしてその子供もまた腹を裂かなければならない運命なのです。これは神から与えられた罪でした。 たくさんの子供を産みたかったのですが、帝王切開で3人しか産めませんでした。そして安全のため、出産と出産の間は1年空けなければなりませんでした。妻は母乳さえ与えられませんでした。DHA不足が赤ちゃんの脳の発達に影響を与えるのではないかと心配していました。 この世には死ななければならない命があると信じています。そして、この信念を歪めてきた人類の傲慢さ。科学を手に、私たちは神の意志を歪め、自分の力で何でもできると信じています。子供が死ぬと、私たちは嘆き悲しみます。昔の人は、これを神の領域と考え、悲しむことなく受け入れていました。現代の人間はそうすることができません。 帝王切開をする女性や母乳を与えられない女性は、家族のために狩りに出かけない男性と何ら変わりません。自然な状態で母親としての義務を果たせない女性は、死んだ方がましです。
SlightlyTarnished 7 months ago
This is one fücked up man. She's better off without him and getting the best divorce attorney available, one that will get her sole custody, maximum child support, and alimony.
Panda Bear 9 months ago
Personal theory- Guy wanted to be a dad, becomes a dad and realized it wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows and decides to cut and run
Miriam Insidecor 9 months ago
This man is scum and your daughter deserves better. Get rid of him and make sure everyone knows exactly why he decided to abandon his child.
Leyre 9 months ago (edited)
There is an update, it is from 9 months ago, at the end they divorced because the husband keeps saying that he cannot form a bond with the daughter. He doesn't go to visitation and doesn't pay the established child support. But there seems to be no other family out there (which is what I suspected).
Michael Melfa 9 months ago
Figures. Guy is a deadbeat, child was born, decided this was too much man, and bolted with the weakest excuse he could think of.
Load More Replies... amy lee 9 months ago
You can fix them like you would a dog. Less testosterone might result in him thinking with his head as opposed to the backside.
Load More Replies... Tamra 9 months ago
This poor woman is married to a complete idiot and useless human being. I hope she sues for the max child support.
Mike F 9 months ago
There have been several updates to the story. Click the user name at the bottom of the post.
Load More Replies... Rachel Pelz 9 months ago
Mental health issue and refusal to acknowlegde this possibility sounds likely to me. Instead of dealing with it -or at least considering to give therapy a try- he decides to live in a dream world where this one unchangeable little event would have changed everything. Poor mom and poor child, once it will learn about its dad.
Crystalwitch60 9 months ago
No it’s just an excuse hence not wanting to go ! Cos he know dam well nothings wrong he just don’t want her n the baby basically ,
Load More Replies... Christos Arvanitis 9 months ago (edited)
My guess is that he was cheating and already had the woman that we was going to "start over" with picked out. Glad that she left him. What a POS
Italian-Swiss Panda 9 months ago (edited)
Why TF would they want to salvage this "marriage"? He's a despicable human being, I can't believe such people actually exist. Maybe it's just his very weird and of course wrong excuse to a way out of the marriage because there's someone else? And no balls to be honest and open with the spouse, but doing an atrocious and coward move? Oh my sorry I'm rambling I can't believe what I'm reading...
person (i think) 9 months ago
Jesus. I bonded with my godson, even though I didn’t meet him until he was 2 months old, I don’t really like babies, and I was worried about my friend adopting a kid with a bunch of health issues (worried about the health issues, not the adopting). It wasn’t instantaneous, but I would die for that kid, and he isn’t even mine. WTF is wrong with that guy. It is also infuriating when people refuse to get therapy for things that is blatantly a “therapy would make your life better” sort of thing
Apatheist Account2 9 months ago
Incredibly immature. There was something deeper going on, maybe about the OP being NB.
Sara Shamsabadi 9 months ago
she's asking the wrong questions...he was looking for an excuse to bail out of the marriage & responsibilities of parenthood. Please leave this clown & focus on you & your baby.
Janelle Collard 9 months ago
Hope OP got full custody + child support. She's actually lucky - he was either cheating + already had his next wife picked out or he's mentally unwell + refuses to get help.
ElfVibratorGlitter 9 months ago
This is really sad. I just found out yesterday our baby doesn't have a heartbeat.
Crystalwitch60 9 months ago (edited)
Well this was a year or more ago , n I was hoping for an update , I seriously hope he got his s**t together ! Cos that is the most PATHETIC excuse for leaving I’ve heard in my 60 yrs ! Like really dude !! Blaming your poor precious daughter , when in reality you could have LOST THEM BOTH as it was an emergency c section!!! not seeing her born is bs ! when mothers have an emergency c section a lot of them don’t see them being born as they are knocked out !!! They still bond , as do the fathers !! basically he is one immature pos ,, and op as others have said when they show you who they really are BELIVE IT !! I pray you got out of this man’s life ,you and your daughter are better than him ! N the reason he won’t go to the docs , cos post natal depression affects men to ! Is cos HE KNOWS ITS JUST AN EXCUSE TO LEAVE YOU , and his responsibility’s , he’s far from ready to be a father !!and anyone woman as ended up with him moving on needs her head testing cos he WILL DO THIS AGAIN !!!x
Ginger Winters 7 months ago
They got divorce. He doesn't do visitation by his choice. He doesn't pay court ordered child support. His father is siding with her and helping out
Load More Replies... Tyke 9 months ago
I know what you mean but a baby would be more loyal than this
Load More Replies... Kim Kermes 9 months ago
Funny thing, no fathers were allowed in the birthing room in the US until the 70s, and most of them were decent fathers. Mine was a pretty good dad, and I believe my mom sent him home once she was checked 8n, rather sit in a smoke filled waiting room. 50s.
Lena Flising 9 months ago
He seems EXTREMELY insensitive. Just cause HIS perfekt idea of a birth didn't happen, he wants to ignore both you and HIS daughter, as if you are not Real People, and just start over with a new "cast "... What does he think will happen to his daughter now? How would HE have reacted if his dad had done this to him?
meeeeeeeeeeee 9 months ago
I wouldn't leave the child with a freak who talks such shite. It's possible she's in danger being around him.
Peeka_Mimi 9 months ago
The baby was 4mo when this was posted. Sorry but he's found someone else and is using this as an excuse, so he doesn't look like the monster he is.
UKDeek 9 months ago
This must be absolutely heartbreaking, as the OP has stated they are NB so must have thought they have found someone decent and tolerant in this world, only for them to turn out to be a complete bottomfeeder. Best advice I could possibly give is this - let him go, as he has made his position quite clear. There are other people out there who will be more than happy to be in a relationship with someone who already has a child, and it isn't worth wasting time and effort on something that will never be right ever again.
The_Nicest_Misanthrope 9 months ago
You want a magic spell? Punch him in the f*****g face, girl. What a pathetic excuse for a 'man'! I hope his s***m stops working
Jay Cee 6 months ago
My wife and I attended childbirth lessons run by the National Childbirth Trust (UK) and the one talk that really stood out was when a midwife said: "And now, gentlemen, a little hint, in both mountaineering and childbirth the best advice is DO NOT LOOK DOWN!" Yep, keilands rotation and the forceps delivery of a 9lb 4oz daughter and I'm surprised my wife ever spoke to me again.
Angie Falzarano 6 months ago
Ask how his father bonded with him after his birth. Father's weren't allowed in delivery rooms. This is a more recent occurrence like the last 20 or so years. This man wants out of the marriage and will use any excuse to get out. Guarantee he has a piece on the side and wants to be with her. Not uncommon with married men when wives are pregnant.this is not fixable. Go see a lawyer and get full cuatody.
Darshan 6 months ago
Its obvi to me theres more women involved during pregg periods.. get his face and story out in the digital world... theres gd news just sign the dotted line n fly like bat outta hell
Darshan 6 months ago
U and baby have a bright future. Just not with this chimp
Load More Replies... 兵藤義一 7 months ago
帝王切開は異常な出産方法です。古代では考えられないことでした。母子ともに死ぬ運命でした。私たちは科学の力で神の領域を侵し、神の意思決定を歪めてしまいました。これは罪深いことです。人間に命を与えること自体が罪です。私は男性ですが、このブログの読者のほとんどは女性です。あなた方は物事を多角的に見ることのできないカルトのようです。欧米はカルトのような国なので仕方がないのです。 娘が帝王切開で生まれた時、私はとても辛い気持ちになりました。螺旋遺伝子の運命が娘に引き継がれてしまったのです。娘は死ぬべきだったと思いました。妻も死ぬべきだったと思いました。娘が成長して子供を産んだ時、また腹を裂かなければならない。私はそれが苦痛でした。そしてその子供もまた腹を裂かなければならない運命なのです。これは神から与えられた罪でした。 たくさんの子供を産みたかったのですが、帝王切開で3人しか産めませんでした。そして安全のため、出産と出産の間は1年空けなければなりませんでした。妻は母乳さえ与えられませんでした。DHA不足が赤ちゃんの脳の発達に影響を与えるのではないかと心配していました。 この世には死ななければならない命があると信じています。そして、この信念を歪めてきた人類の傲慢さ。科学を手に、私たちは神の意志を歪め、自分の力で何でもできると信じています。子供が死ぬと、私たちは嘆き悲しみます。昔の人は、これを神の領域と考え、悲しむことなく受け入れていました。現代の人間はそうすることができません。 帝王切開をする女性や母乳を与えられない女性は、家族のために狩りに出かけない男性と何ら変わりません。自然な状態で母親としての義務を果たせない女性は、死んだ方がましです。
SlightlyTarnished 7 months ago
This is one fücked up man. She's better off without him and getting the best divorce attorney available, one that will get her sole custody, maximum child support, and alimony.
Panda Bear 9 months ago
Personal theory- Guy wanted to be a dad, becomes a dad and realized it wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows and decides to cut and run
You May Like "Meals Aren’t Cooked Every Night": Mother-And-Father-In-Law Cross A Line By Threatening CPS Over Messy Home Man Uses Girlfriend’s Birthday To Teach Her A Lesson About Disappointment, Ends Up Single Woman Hands Husband Divorce Papers, Because He Ignored His Mom's Insults Way Too Long
Gabija Palšytė
Ieva Pečiulytė
Gabija Palšytė
Related on Bored Panda
50
73