Man Spends A Week Taking Care Of Toddler And The Home, Grows Resentment For His SAH Wife
In any romantic relationship, it’s important to remember that you’re supposed to be part of the same team. You’re meant to be on the same side and support one another. However, some folks see their relationships as purely transactional, which is far from healthy.
One anonymous husband turned to the r/AITAH online community for advice regarding a delicate situation at home. From his perspective, his wife, a stay-at-home mom, doesn’t do ‘enough’ chores around the house. Many internet users were absolutely appalled by his point of view and stood up to defend his wife. Scroll down to read what they had to say.
Housework and childcare can be very divisive issues and lead to some resentment between partners
Image credits: Sarah Chai (not the actual photo)
One husband shocked the internet by sharing his perspective about his wife, who is a stay-at-home mom
Image credits: MART PRODUCTION (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Current-Respond2527
The author shared a lot of controversial opinions in his story
The husband, who wrote the controversial post, seems to have an issue with his wife not doing her ‘duties’ or pitching in as much as he thinks that she ‘should.’
From his perspective, because he is the sole breadwinner in the family, his wife ‘should’ do all the housework, along with all the childcare. The OP believes that she should have no problem doing all of this because he himself did everything that needed to be done at home in record time.
“I’m planning on telling her after living in her shoes for a week that I need her to step up to the plate because the amount of effort she’s been putting in is unacceptable. If she doesn’t do it I think I will have to leave her because I don’t feel like taking care of two children,” he wrote.
Many internet users who read his posts and comments were shocked by his uncompromising and cold position, as well as his opinion about women in general.
In one comment, the author stated that, for him, “Marriage isn’t about love it’s about continuing the family name and bloodline.” However, elsewhere, he comments: “I can love my wife and be mad she isn’t doing her part.” What’s more, it’s bizarre how easily the author wrote about the possibility of divorcing his wife.
If money isn’t an issue, it might be best for everyone involved to simply hire a housekeeper and a nanny. Spending a bit of cash to keep the house tidy may be a better alternative to being resentful about the chores not being done ‘right.’
Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)
If there are serious issues at home, it’s best to discuss them in person. However, it’s vital not to be accusatory
Whatever the marital issues might be, it’s important to bring up those questions in a face-to-face discussion. There might be a genuine problem with the housework and childcare in the family. However, how you approach these sensitive topics is vital.
For one, you should never sound like you’re accusing your partner of something. This means reigning in excess judgment and focusing on how their actions and behavior affect you and make you feel.
Remember, the goal isn’t to browbeat your partner into submission or force them to adapt to your requirements. The aim is to find some sort of compromise that would make both people satisfied.
For instance, hiring a part-time housekeeper really might be the best solution. Or, the husband could pitch in with the chores (considering how little time he thinks they take) to match the standards he wants to see at home.
Meanwhile, even if one person is the primary breadwinner, it hardly seems fair that they should never do any of the housework or childcare. Being in a relationship and raising kids together means pitching in as much as you can and as needed, regardless of the circumstances.
There will hardly ever be situations where the couple has a perfect 50/50 split of chores. But you don’t need things to be perfectly balanced. What you need to aim for is a balance that works for you. If one partner works more, they might do slightly fewer chores at home than someone who might, for instance, work less or remotely.
Another good solution is to divide the chores up based on preferences. For example, one partner might not mind doing the dishes and vacuuming, while the other actually enjoys doing the grocery runs and cooking. If there’s an activity both partners hate, they could split it equally among themselves to make it fair.
Image credits: Juan Pablo Serrano Arenas (not the actual photo)
The post got a lot of different reactions. Here’s what some readers had to say about the entire situation
My mother was a sahm. She was extremely lazy. Barely did any housework. Her idea of parenting was to sit us in front of the television and tell us to shut up. When she started working something happened. She started taking better care of the house, the kids and herself. I can't explain it. Maybe she just needed more purpose to her life.
When we are in the wrong role, depression, bitterness, waning 3mpatjy and failure of executive function are really common. I'm sorry for the early years, but I'm glad your mom made changes for the better.
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What I miss from OP is "I'm worried about her mental wellbeing", especially since the wife just left to visit her estranged mother (if I understood correctly). Sounds to me the wife might actually be (post-partum) depressed.
Also, he hasn't really expanded on "estranged Mother"... if her Mother was utter rubbish, maybe she doesn't know what SAHM should be like. I think something more is going on also, especially mental health, and it wouldn't shock me if becoming a mother and having to see her estranged Mother or even hearing from/about her has stirred up some big emotions and issues.
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The relationship sounds very transactional, maybe because they are only together because of the pregnancy. Wife sounds like she hates staying at home. It's not for everyone. They are financially stable, wife should go back to work, get a cleaner and pay for child care. Clearly things worked better when both were working. Maybe it helps, maybe it doesn't, but with a try before divorce.
Managing a house and a kid does take skills. I dont think we need to romanticize it, but its not for everybody. My mom sometimes grumbles that she took care of a babies and a house all by herself, criticizing women who struggle to do both. And I remind her that she literally was a nanny and a housekeeper for rich jerks before she got married, so she learned how to work at home. Its not like doing dishes is some innate feminine quality.
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"... she's costing me more than if I just got a nanny ..", really? The wife is supposed to be more than a housekeeper you can f*ck. I wonder if OP has done the cost/benefit analysis of getting a divorce and paying for daycare?
I don’t understand how she’s costing him more money than if he got a nanny.
Load More Replies... OP is a troll or a horrible excuse of a human being.... some examples of the many putrid comments made by the OP .... EDIT COMMENTS BELOW ARE OP QUOTES FROM REDDIT - NOT MY COMMENTS!!
"She couldn’t even if she wanted to. Plus she doesn’t deserve a dime. We’ve been married for 2 years not 20 you ugly little b***h"
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I don't know man, but the part where you describe the days you spent with your toddler seemed a little off. Sounds almost fake to me, a mother of 2.. It's just a hunch, but I think you left out some "interesting" details.
This. I think the more realistic scenario is that the wife pre-cleaned and pre-prepared meals and did everything before she left to make it easy for him. And what two year old is a 'dream' for a whole week. I call b******t. Either he forgot the tantrums or the kid is too scared to act out around his father.
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All I know is with his attitude it doesn't matter what the problem actually is. He sounds callous and full of himself.
How condescending and what a liar. 3 meals plus 2 snack total of 40 minutes is only possible if they were all pre prepared by wife before she left and microwaved and even then, cleanup of dishes, kitchen and Brandon, cos TODDLER makes it impossible. No mention of shopping, day excursions for Brandon, deep cleaning, bathroom, sheets changed, just rubbish on his part. Hope she leaves him.
I've never understood why anyone would put themselves in a SAHP role voluntarily, but whatever. This guy has experienced ONE week of life at home and thinks it's a piece of cake, ignoring that his wife is most likely drained and maybe depressed because childcare sucks, regardless of how much you love your child. I had to stay at home for the first three years because economically the math wasn't mathing and l've never been more miserable. I foresee a divorce in their future given how he speaks.
This story just doesn't add up. If you can clean your home in 25 minutes, it must already be in good condition - a neglected home is hell to clean. Similarly, if the child is a well-behaved angel, she must have taken good care and trained him well. None of that matches his accusations of laziness or neglect.
Children act differently with different people, especially when it's not the primary caregiver. Like OP, whose son rarely sees everyday. So of course he was gonna act like an angel for dad, he doesn't see him all day, everyday.
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Maybe start by asking what else she's doing? 20 mins of laundry isn't a weeks worth by any means. Children behave differently with the "fun" parent. Take over for a month, or ask her to do a time tracking exercise. I bet there's a lot of running errands, arranging play dates, getting him in and out of the car, to nursery, etc. Yes, she's not in control of the situation, but don't go into it assuming she's being lazy - there could be a lot of work you aren't taking into account, because it isn't obvious when it's put off for two days. Also, PPD or being unsuited to being a SAHM are real possibilities here - ask if she wants to go back to work or to further education.
Kids are usually harder on their primary caregiver than are to secondary caregivers.
Been a dental assistant for 30 years. Dentists are a******s. Their job is not that difficult. Most are used to telling staff members how to do their job, although they have never performed the task themselves. A dental assistant will do 80% of a procedure that the law allows. Dentist attitudes are usually arrogant,
I call bs. There's no way he thought being a SAHP for a 2 yr old for was a walk in the park unless he was doing a s**t job of it. This has to be a troll.
No, he's not the primary caregiver. So his findings are moot.
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This couple is obviously not a team. If you say of your spouse that she costs you more than a nanny, well, the only red flag that's bigger than this one is the one flying over a government building in China. I'm not sure if he wants to make things work, to be honest, because he obviously isn't interested in possible reasons for her behaviour.
I takes me about 1.5-3h to deep clean my tiny studio apartment (depending of if I need to fold laundry or do dishes). There's no way he cleaned an entire house in less that that. Unless by cleaning me means wipe the table and pick up his kid's toys, maybe do some lazy vacuuming, oh and 3 meals in 40 min is pretty much only doable if he's a trained chef, very very into cooking, made pasta an meatballs or only heated up already cooked food. Something about his math ain't mathing here. The bigger issue is that they don't even seem to care for each other. I'm not talking the typical tired just had a baby not caring, but not caring as in there was never any love in this relationship. They need to get someone to mediate between them so they can talk this out, because clearly something isn't working and I have a feeling OP won't be able to do this in the way it needs to be done. (Not saying his wife is telling the truth either, she may just sit by the TV all day like op says, but in that case that needs to be addressed as well)
They don't need mediation. Wife needs to run. Run far. Run fast and never look back.
Load More Replies... OP doesn't get into their relationship, but with a young kid, that's not so unusual, especially since it sounds like they only married because of Landon. He doesn't seem heartbroken over a split, so probably a good indication a split is a better decision. Sounds like 50/50 childcare split would suit both, more time for mom and dad seems like he's keen to take of their son when he's not at work, so with a nanny or day care to cover that, would put in the work. On the other hand, maybe she just hates being SAHM. She could go back to work, even if every penny went child and house care, maybe she's be happier and things would improve.
Would just like to point out the fallacy in OP's comparison. He was not cooking for his wife, doing her laundry, cleaning up after her during that week she was gone and he had the baby. No one walked in the door at 5.30 or 6pm and started hauling him over the coals for not washing dishes. When his wife is there, she's expected to take care of both the baby and the husband, not just the baby. And his math is sus, he hasn't said anything about laundry, errands, grocery shopping. I do not believe that changing diapers takes only 20 mins/day, dirty diapers are nasty messy things where you have to take it off the child and dispose of it, clean the child really well because they are all poopy! powder them and then put a fresh diaper on. And then go scrub your own hands because you've been handling fecal matter. And what is this dude cooking that he only spends 40 mins/day on making meals?? Sounds like the wife needs some counseling or therapy because she's struggling. OP YTA.
He’s obviously lying. And it’s obvious he doesn’t love his wife if you read the original post and his comments about her.
How bold of OP to assume he would even NEED a nanny if he left his wife. Chances are high the child will live with mom unless she's neglecting the child or abusing him. Yes, the courts are finally starting to be fair and give custody of dads who deserve it but the court could easily decide she's the primary caregiver.
The OP is TAH because of the math. 10 minutes to load the laundry is true but add the time for undloading, folding and putting them back in their place, maybe ironing.I think he just tried to make himself look good. And the wife could be suffering from post partum depression.
I can't bare men like this! How dare you treat and talk about her this way? You haven't once said that you love her or what's lovely about. You're a dictator who demands this this and this. I hope she leaves because she's never going to be good enough. I feel for her. Your math is way off and you only did it for a week. You're not a nice man! YTA that won't come as a surprise though. Take a good look at the comments and give your head a shake. Oh and find some love in your heart too!!!
Did he factor appointments, errands, does she have time for herself? Does she get to leave without the kid and see friends on occasion?
Something is off with this guy, everything he said sounds like his wife is an employee, and not a good one who hrs over paying even thought it's only $2 an hour. Basically this means doesn't seem to understand what a relationship is all about. Yes wife may not be keeping up but it seems hes not tried finding out. She may be suffering from PND which can last for years if not treated, she may feel emotionally/spiritual crushed by how her husband treats her, she may not be happy staying at home. She's estranged from her mother so maybe she didn't get to learn how to look after a home well, she may be suffering from PTSD. He doesn't seem to even asked her.
Some people are slobs and some are not. I (68) was a sahm while my husband's work took him out of the country 2 weeks out of every month. I did it all and that includes yard work, painting the inside of my house ( I wanted to redecorate) plus caring for our child, kept a clean house and cooked meals. I did all this because I wanted to. I enjoyed it immensely. My son's best friend lived across the street. His house was the polar opposite. To each her own
My ex told me how imperfect I was as a SAHM with 3 special needs kids, with him psychologically splitting the kids, throwing away food I grew because he didn't give a ****. I had to work out 6 days per week to keep my chronic pain condition in control. His mom was bipolar but he refused to acknowledge she was once we had kids wh needed help- he and 1 daughter are ADHD- … it's not worth talking about beyond cautioning anyone married to a narcissist proceed only after finding the right lawyer. Oh- I wasn't lazy but am in constant pain.
Do you love your wife? Is she depressed? Sounds like you aren't really partners at all....talk to your wife and find out what's going on. She's probably exhausted.
Yeah... It sounds like OP has made up his mind, and they'd be better of without each other.
My kid is totally different person with my husband. The second he leaves the house she becomes whiny, aggressive, annoying, attention seeking cave troll. She snaps back just the second he returns so he never believes me. She is almost 7 and sometimes I think she is bipolar or schizophrenic, because really, it's like having two different children at home.
My husband learned real fast how hard it was to be a SAHP while I went back to work while he was briefly unemployed for 3 months when our daughter was 1 before she started daycare so we could both work. Our daughter is 6 and we plan to have another. He made it a point to ➡️ask⬅️ me if I wanted to stay home with our second child. I told him I would if daycare was an included option when I needed a break. Edit: for typo.
Hmm, the guy opened a couple of cans and heated them up to cook a meal? That's the only way that could all be done in forty minutes. Having said that, I do think the house can be kept clean and meals cooked if she's a full-time SAHM. So she may simply be lazy.
The kid is only 2, so meal prep is relatively simple, not a guarantee meal time is easy, but it's not the food that's usually the hard part.
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I'm a lazy person. My mental health is ok but i'm lazy. Only in US lazy women are considered 100% depressed or mentally ill. You can be lazy wishout being ill. If a man i lazy, he is a bum and so on. If a woman is lazy - "The poor woman, she must be depressed, there is no way a woman does something wrong without being ill"... He works all day, comes home and has to do most chores and also pays for everything. How is she depressed and he is an AH? He should make her start a job or divorce her. He is right - it would be cheaper to hire a nanny that having a child-wife at home.
Interesting take when there's been no clinical assessment, we're only getting one side of the story and OP's claims of timing are completely unrealistic.
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It's always good to keep in mind that we are only getting his side of the story.
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I agree but for different reasons. I hope he leaves her, too. I hope he leaves her so that she can see, once he's gone, how toxic he is. I hope he leaves her so she can find a spouse who will treat her like a human being and not a maid with benefits. I hope he leaves her so she can thrive without his negative presence in her life. I hope he leaves her so he will have even less time to teach his sexism to their son. I hope he leaves her and never looks back, and I hope that in five years she looks back and says his leaving was the best thing that ever could have happened for her and her son.
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My mother was a sahm. She was extremely lazy. Barely did any housework. Her idea of parenting was to sit us in front of the television and tell us to shut up. When she started working something happened. She started taking better care of the house, the kids and herself. I can't explain it. Maybe she just needed more purpose to her life.
When we are in the wrong role, depression, bitterness, waning 3mpatjy and failure of executive function are really common. I'm sorry for the early years, but I'm glad your mom made changes for the better.
Load More Replies... What I miss from OP is "I'm worried about her mental wellbeing", especially since the wife just left to visit her estranged mother (if I understood correctly). Sounds to me the wife might actually be (post-partum) depressed.
Also, he hasn't really expanded on "estranged Mother"... if her Mother was utter rubbish, maybe she doesn't know what SAHM should be like. I think something more is going on also, especially mental health, and it wouldn't shock me if becoming a mother and having to see her estranged Mother or even hearing from/about her has stirred up some big emotions and issues.
Load More Replies... The relationship sounds very transactional, maybe because they are only together because of the pregnancy. Wife sounds like she hates staying at home. It's not for everyone. They are financially stable, wife should go back to work, get a cleaner and pay for child care. Clearly things worked better when both were working. Maybe it helps, maybe it doesn't, but with a try before divorce.
Managing a house and a kid does take skills. I dont think we need to romanticize it, but its not for everybody. My mom sometimes grumbles that she took care of a babies and a house all by herself, criticizing women who struggle to do both. And I remind her that she literally was a nanny and a housekeeper for rich jerks before she got married, so she learned how to work at home. Its not like doing dishes is some innate feminine quality.
Load More Replies... "... she's costing me more than if I just got a nanny ..", really? The wife is supposed to be more than a housekeeper you can f*ck. I wonder if OP has done the cost/benefit analysis of getting a divorce and paying for daycare?
I don’t understand how she’s costing him more money than if he got a nanny.
Load More Replies... OP is a troll or a horrible excuse of a human being.... some examples of the many putrid comments made by the OP .... EDIT COMMENTS BELOW ARE OP QUOTES FROM REDDIT - NOT MY COMMENTS!!
"She couldn’t even if she wanted to. Plus she doesn’t deserve a dime. We’ve been married for 2 years not 20 you ugly little b***h"
Load More Replies... I don't know man, but the part where you describe the days you spent with your toddler seemed a little off. Sounds almost fake to me, a mother of 2.. It's just a hunch, but I think you left out some "interesting" details.
This. I think the more realistic scenario is that the wife pre-cleaned and pre-prepared meals and did everything before she left to make it easy for him. And what two year old is a 'dream' for a whole week. I call b******t. Either he forgot the tantrums or the kid is too scared to act out around his father.
Load More Replies... All I know is with his attitude it doesn't matter what the problem actually is. He sounds callous and full of himself.
How condescending and what a liar. 3 meals plus 2 snack total of 40 minutes is only possible if they were all pre prepared by wife before she left and microwaved and even then, cleanup of dishes, kitchen and Brandon, cos TODDLER makes it impossible. No mention of shopping, day excursions for Brandon, deep cleaning, bathroom, sheets changed, just rubbish on his part. Hope she leaves him.
I've never understood why anyone would put themselves in a SAHP role voluntarily, but whatever. This guy has experienced ONE week of life at home and thinks it's a piece of cake, ignoring that his wife is most likely drained and maybe depressed because childcare sucks, regardless of how much you love your child. I had to stay at home for the first three years because economically the math wasn't mathing and l've never been more miserable. I foresee a divorce in their future given how he speaks.
This story just doesn't add up. If you can clean your home in 25 minutes, it must already be in good condition - a neglected home is hell to clean. Similarly, if the child is a well-behaved angel, she must have taken good care and trained him well. None of that matches his accusations of laziness or neglect.
Children act differently with different people, especially when it's not the primary caregiver. Like OP, whose son rarely sees everyday. So of course he was gonna act like an angel for dad, he doesn't see him all day, everyday.
Load More Replies... Maybe start by asking what else she's doing? 20 mins of laundry isn't a weeks worth by any means. Children behave differently with the "fun" parent. Take over for a month, or ask her to do a time tracking exercise. I bet there's a lot of running errands, arranging play dates, getting him in and out of the car, to nursery, etc. Yes, she's not in control of the situation, but don't go into it assuming she's being lazy - there could be a lot of work you aren't taking into account, because it isn't obvious when it's put off for two days. Also, PPD or being unsuited to being a SAHM are real possibilities here - ask if she wants to go back to work or to further education.
Kids are usually harder on their primary caregiver than are to secondary caregivers.
Been a dental assistant for 30 years. Dentists are a******s. Their job is not that difficult. Most are used to telling staff members how to do their job, although they have never performed the task themselves. A dental assistant will do 80% of a procedure that the law allows. Dentist attitudes are usually arrogant,
I call bs. There's no way he thought being a SAHP for a 2 yr old for was a walk in the park unless he was doing a s**t job of it. This has to be a troll.
No, he's not the primary caregiver. So his findings are moot.
Load More Replies... This couple is obviously not a team. If you say of your spouse that she costs you more than a nanny, well, the only red flag that's bigger than this one is the one flying over a government building in China. I'm not sure if he wants to make things work, to be honest, because he obviously isn't interested in possible reasons for her behaviour.
I takes me about 1.5-3h to deep clean my tiny studio apartment (depending of if I need to fold laundry or do dishes). There's no way he cleaned an entire house in less that that. Unless by cleaning me means wipe the table and pick up his kid's toys, maybe do some lazy vacuuming, oh and 3 meals in 40 min is pretty much only doable if he's a trained chef, very very into cooking, made pasta an meatballs or only heated up already cooked food. Something about his math ain't mathing here. The bigger issue is that they don't even seem to care for each other. I'm not talking the typical tired just had a baby not caring, but not caring as in there was never any love in this relationship. They need to get someone to mediate between them so they can talk this out, because clearly something isn't working and I have a feeling OP won't be able to do this in the way it needs to be done. (Not saying his wife is telling the truth either, she may just sit by the TV all day like op says, but in that case that needs to be addressed as well)
They don't need mediation. Wife needs to run. Run far. Run fast and never look back.
Load More Replies... OP doesn't get into their relationship, but with a young kid, that's not so unusual, especially since it sounds like they only married because of Landon. He doesn't seem heartbroken over a split, so probably a good indication a split is a better decision. Sounds like 50/50 childcare split would suit both, more time for mom and dad seems like he's keen to take of their son when he's not at work, so with a nanny or day care to cover that, would put in the work. On the other hand, maybe she just hates being SAHM. She could go back to work, even if every penny went child and house care, maybe she's be happier and things would improve.
Would just like to point out the fallacy in OP's comparison. He was not cooking for his wife, doing her laundry, cleaning up after her during that week she was gone and he had the baby. No one walked in the door at 5.30 or 6pm and started hauling him over the coals for not washing dishes. When his wife is there, she's expected to take care of both the baby and the husband, not just the baby. And his math is sus, he hasn't said anything about laundry, errands, grocery shopping. I do not believe that changing diapers takes only 20 mins/day, dirty diapers are nasty messy things where you have to take it off the child and dispose of it, clean the child really well because they are all poopy! powder them and then put a fresh diaper on. And then go scrub your own hands because you've been handling fecal matter. And what is this dude cooking that he only spends 40 mins/day on making meals?? Sounds like the wife needs some counseling or therapy because she's struggling. OP YTA.
He’s obviously lying. And it’s obvious he doesn’t love his wife if you read the original post and his comments about her.
How bold of OP to assume he would even NEED a nanny if he left his wife. Chances are high the child will live with mom unless she's neglecting the child or abusing him. Yes, the courts are finally starting to be fair and give custody of dads who deserve it but the court could easily decide she's the primary caregiver.
The OP is TAH because of the math. 10 minutes to load the laundry is true but add the time for undloading, folding and putting them back in their place, maybe ironing.I think he just tried to make himself look good. And the wife could be suffering from post partum depression.
I can't bare men like this! How dare you treat and talk about her this way? You haven't once said that you love her or what's lovely about. You're a dictator who demands this this and this. I hope she leaves because she's never going to be good enough. I feel for her. Your math is way off and you only did it for a week. You're not a nice man! YTA that won't come as a surprise though. Take a good look at the comments and give your head a shake. Oh and find some love in your heart too!!!
Did he factor appointments, errands, does she have time for herself? Does she get to leave without the kid and see friends on occasion?
Something is off with this guy, everything he said sounds like his wife is an employee, and not a good one who hrs over paying even thought it's only $2 an hour. Basically this means doesn't seem to understand what a relationship is all about. Yes wife may not be keeping up but it seems hes not tried finding out. She may be suffering from PND which can last for years if not treated, she may feel emotionally/spiritual crushed by how her husband treats her, she may not be happy staying at home. She's estranged from her mother so maybe she didn't get to learn how to look after a home well, she may be suffering from PTSD. He doesn't seem to even asked her.
Some people are slobs and some are not. I (68) was a sahm while my husband's work took him out of the country 2 weeks out of every month. I did it all and that includes yard work, painting the inside of my house ( I wanted to redecorate) plus caring for our child, kept a clean house and cooked meals. I did all this because I wanted to. I enjoyed it immensely. My son's best friend lived across the street. His house was the polar opposite. To each her own
My ex told me how imperfect I was as a SAHM with 3 special needs kids, with him psychologically splitting the kids, throwing away food I grew because he didn't give a ****. I had to work out 6 days per week to keep my chronic pain condition in control. His mom was bipolar but he refused to acknowledge she was once we had kids wh needed help- he and 1 daughter are ADHD- … it's not worth talking about beyond cautioning anyone married to a narcissist proceed only after finding the right lawyer. Oh- I wasn't lazy but am in constant pain.
Do you love your wife? Is she depressed? Sounds like you aren't really partners at all....talk to your wife and find out what's going on. She's probably exhausted.
Yeah... It sounds like OP has made up his mind, and they'd be better of without each other.
My kid is totally different person with my husband. The second he leaves the house she becomes whiny, aggressive, annoying, attention seeking cave troll. She snaps back just the second he returns so he never believes me. She is almost 7 and sometimes I think she is bipolar or schizophrenic, because really, it's like having two different children at home.
My husband learned real fast how hard it was to be a SAHP while I went back to work while he was briefly unemployed for 3 months when our daughter was 1 before she started daycare so we could both work. Our daughter is 6 and we plan to have another. He made it a point to ➡️ask⬅️ me if I wanted to stay home with our second child. I told him I would if daycare was an included option when I needed a break. Edit: for typo.
Hmm, the guy opened a couple of cans and heated them up to cook a meal? That's the only way that could all be done in forty minutes. Having said that, I do think the house can be kept clean and meals cooked if she's a full-time SAHM. So she may simply be lazy.
The kid is only 2, so meal prep is relatively simple, not a guarantee meal time is easy, but it's not the food that's usually the hard part.
Load More Replies... I'm a lazy person. My mental health is ok but i'm lazy. Only in US lazy women are considered 100% depressed or mentally ill. You can be lazy wishout being ill. If a man i lazy, he is a bum and so on. If a woman is lazy - "The poor woman, she must be depressed, there is no way a woman does something wrong without being ill"... He works all day, comes home and has to do most chores and also pays for everything. How is she depressed and he is an AH? He should make her start a job or divorce her. He is right - it would be cheaper to hire a nanny that having a child-wife at home.
Interesting take when there's been no clinical assessment, we're only getting one side of the story and OP's claims of timing are completely unrealistic.
Load More Replies... It's always good to keep in mind that we are only getting his side of the story.
Load More Replies... I agree but for different reasons. I hope he leaves her, too. I hope he leaves her so that she can see, once he's gone, how toxic he is. I hope he leaves her so she can find a spouse who will treat her like a human being and not a maid with benefits. I hope he leaves her so she can thrive without his negative presence in her life. I hope he leaves her so he will have even less time to teach his sexism to their son. I hope he leaves her and never looks back, and I hope that in five years she looks back and says his leaving was the best thing that ever could have happened for her and her son.
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