Guy Leaves Instead Of Waiting Around After Wife Bans Him From The Delivery Room, She’s Furious
Giving birth is quite a feat. Of course, everyone has different experiences, but there are few things everyone has in common: there is at least some pain, discomfort, uncertainty and, eventually, relief.
Because each pregnancy differs from the other, even when we’re talking about the same mother, one cannot know how things are going to pan out. When giving birth, you have to be prepared for the unexpected.
Sometimes, even dads get surprised during birth, which is what happened to the guy in this story. He was hoping to be a part of his son’s birth and was ready to get into the delivery room to help out his wife when he was turned away by her. Scroll down to read the full story and see why the wife got mad at him.
When it comes to what happens in the delivery room, mothers are the ones dictating the rules
Image credits: Büşranur Aydın (not the actual photo)
However, some people might get upset by those rules. This is what happened to the guy in the following story
Image credits: Sarazh Izmailov (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Liza Summer (not the actual photo)
Image credits: aitathawayiwenthome
Image credits: Vera Arsic (not the actual photo)
The emotions are understandable and heightened by stress
It is easy to understand both sides of this story. On one hand, the author’s wish to be a part of his son’s birth is understandable. On the other, the wife is the one who dictates her rules when it comes to delivery—after all, she’s the one doing the work.
What’s perplexing to many people in the comments is how this conversation never came up during the whole pregnancy. He simply assumed that he will be allowed to go in without expressing a desire to participate. She assumed he will stay out without telling him about her intention not to invite him in.
Image credits: Ksenia Chernaya (not the actual photo)
To avoid such misunderstandings, parents-to-be should draft a birthing plan before the big day
A birthing plan is an outline of how one prefers their birth to go down. In it, mothers answer all the questions that would come up on the day of the birth. That way, they don’t need to be bothered with anything else but birthing the baby when the time comes. In other words, it’s a way to ease the mental load for the mother while also informing everyone else of their preferences.
Some of the questions that are usually answered in the plan are:
- What’s the preferred delivery type?
- What’s the preferred atmosphere?
- What props they might need during the delivery?
- What methods can be used to induce labor?
- What’s the preferred pain management?
- Who is allowed in the delivery room? Who can visit after?
- What to do with the placenta?
And even when all of those are decided, it still doesn’t mean that things go according to it. The mother might think that she wants an all-natural birth, but when the pain hits her, she might want painkillers. She might plan to have her husband in the delivery room, but when she’s tired and in pain, she might not want to see him anywhere near her. Respecting that decision is a part of being a good partner.
The author provided more background information about the situation for people looking for more details
Some people sided with guy, claiming it was unfair she didn’t warn him about her wishes in advance
Many said that both of them were not being kind to one another
Others sided with the wife, urging the author to apologize ASAP
i think those that are saying YTA are missing the point its not that she didn't want him there its the fact she didn't say in advance and waited till she was in labour and expected him to wait around for hours if they talked about it before he could have prepared and brought some things to make himself more comfortable while waiting
… not to mention mentally prepare. He’s probably been spending nine months imaging meeting his child in a certain way. It’s unreasonable to expect an expectant parent to *perfectly* shift emotional gears without warning
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Y’all need some marriage counseling. Your communication skills are sorely lacking. ESH
I really don't think ESH simply because his wife deprived OP of an experience he really wanted BOTH to share! He wanted HIM and HIS wife to be the ones holding the baby first, not everyone else but not him! I agree it is her decision, but it should have been stated prior, especially because it seems that OP would have shared previously the fact he can't wait to hold his baby, by how he described the entire situation.
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It was her choice absolutely but how have they never talked about this? That feels like a very strange omission.
In the opening paragraph, the OP writes, “We had not really discussed the plan for the hospital.” That’s all you need to read to see where this is going. PEOPLE, PLEASE TALK TO YOUR PARTNERS ABOUT IMPORTANT STUFF BEFORE IT HAPPENS! 🤦🏽♀️
I don’t think he was wrong for assuming he would be in the room. She was absolutely wrong for not communicating with him upfront.
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Really glad these two people in this incredibly unhealthy relationship decided to bring a life into the world. They're going to make great parents and that kid will be happy and well adjusted.
Absolutely, a happy, well adjusted tug-of-war rope.
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This was a poor communication issue. She should have told him way in advance and not blindsided him like that.
And ignoring the misandry and emasculation. She has no respect for him. If I were him, I would demand a paternity test before putting anything on the birth certificate. And if it’s not his, divorce.
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I wouldn't want anyone to see me giving birth, that's valid but he should have been told beforehand
Yep. He can't communicate with a closed door. About 38 weeks ago would have been the best time
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Was this the immaculate conception? She didn't get there by herself. If she didn't want him to see her actually deliver the baby she could have just told him to stay at her side by her head and not look. I'm sure he would have been fine with that. It really says alot that she chose not to share that moment with her husband and the father of the child. OP is nta.
Didn't you know, a baby will make everything all better
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I can't believe all those saying OP is in the wrong on this. Unless the mother is sure the father will be useless in the birthing process and will just cause more stress the father has a RIGHT to be present at their child's birth. This is a once in a lifetime, miraculous experience and to deny that to a father just because you "don't want him to see you like. this" is just so wrong. Particularly since she didn't have a problem with her sister and mother being there. So unless she expected him to be an utter jerk (which there is no reason to assume in this post) she had no right to do this. Most fathers get to "catch" the baby during a delivery. They are literally the first person to hold the child. She denied him that experience with no good reason that we know of. How cruel.
He doesn't have a right to an opinion when she murders his child. It was pretty obvious that he was walking on air for the whole pregnancy
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Lack of communication was/is the root of all this. Wife absolutely should have informed husband that she had no intention of letting him into the delivery room, and husband should have asked. ESH.
Get a dna test asap. Maybe she had an affair an wasn't sure if the baby was gonna look like you or someone else an didn't want you to flip out. She sounds like she was covering something up.
Have you ever seen a newborn? They look pretty much like aliens.
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The wife is clearly the AH here. Let's say she has a super long labour, like 18 hours. No complications, just long. Is the husband still expected to sit at the waiting room 18 hours straight with zero update? I'm afraid even hospital staff would tell him to go home and rest up. And did not tell her husband "the plan" only until the last minute? For a 100% forseeable event? There's a big red flag flowing around. If I were giving birth to a baby, I would LOVE to hug my baby daddy like a big teddy bear if I could. Leaving him out of the delivery room is absolutely absurd. He need to get the peternity test done. FAST.
NAH but communication could've been better. He was within his rights to leave, and she likely read posts where fathers were unable to be intimate with mothers after seeing a natural birth
Wow the whole thing resolved in 17 words. 40 weeks and time for her food cravings (a real good time to chat), time for huge expensive shopping trip but no time to discuss something that he was looking forward to
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ESH. OP should have talked about this before, but OP’s wife shouldn’t have expected for OP to wait 15 HOURS in the hospital. Edit: typo
I know a couple who went through something similar when their daughter was born. He never got to feel the baby kick, and pretty much got left out of the whole process. Things were not the same between them ever since. In OP'S case, he was done dirty by his wife. By circumventing any possibility of a discussion, she literally treated him like a sperm donor and an inconvenience. Maybe she should just pay him his stud fee and leave. NTA.
Who goes with her in the delivery room should be her decision. It doesn't mean he was treated like a sperm donor. The nasty part is that she did not discuss this with him beforehand and explained her reasons. Plenty of women don't want their male partners in the delivery room but feel pressured by society to let them in anyway.
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Joann Hart and Jefferson Selvy-WHO hurt you guys?? Chill the fúck out, already. GodDAMN.
NTA. You are married. You are not separated. You had made a plan together to pack and call her mother and sister. In this case, there would be no reason "for the father to ask if it was ok to be in the delivery room." If she felt differently, she should have brought it up earlier. To everyone saying, "what if something went wrong or she died?" Well he still wouldn't have been let in unless right before she passed out she instructed him to be brought back and in that emergency situation, they wouldn't bring him back anyway. If she felt the need to exclude him completely then no, he doesn't need to sit there just to be the taxi service home. Everyone giving her a pass because of her hormones is delusional. That is no excuse for this situation. Sadly, I think getting a paternity test is a good call. I also doubt that you can have a good relationship with her after this. Once trust has been broken to this extent, it's hard to get it back. Now the question is, "Do you even want to try?"
ESH. She can't undo not letting him in and he can't undo not being there to bring the baby home. With 2 parents THIS self involved I feel for that baby.
Maybe she read an article about that weird phenomenon where some men can't find their wife sexually attractive after watching them give birth? Still something that should have been discussed and op should have stayed there for his baby ESH
It was discussed with the OBGYN. The person with legal authority to authorize emergency medical treatment has to be in the room if you're not in some third world sewer
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I mean if she doesn't want him in the room for the birth the doctors probably won't let him in at all like he said.
And that take two things: 1. A power of attorney in someone else hands (probably the sister) 2. A credible accusation of unsafe conditions. The doc is a mandatory reporter so wait for CPS they're coming
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MY husband stayed in hospital 'doing nothing' with me for DAYS while I gave birth. OK I didn't chuck him out of the L&D Room, but even if I had i think he would have fought it, properly. Its so weird she didnt want him there and I can agree he probably felt like 'whats the point i'll go home' but dont do that. It's weird this was of the cuff, there has to be more to this.
I suspect that the birth of their son was not the only event from which he was excluded. Was he the first to know about the pregnancy? Did he get to feel the baby kick, see the sonogram? Was he even allowed to accompany his wife to any medical appointments? Or was he shut out with the excuse, "This is a woman issue; you wouldn't understand "? But hell hath no fury if she didn't get the expense baby furniture, clothes, and have each and every craving satisfied. I wouldn't blame him if he decides that one child is enough.
Load More Replies... Maybe SHE should have communicated. But it's not on him. When a husband & wife have a baby, 99.99% of the time, the husband is in the delivery room. Why would he have any reason to assume otherwise? He was present for literally every other part of preparing for the baby. He was obviously there when they made the baby (unless it's not his, in which case, he was at least there when they had sex, & thought he was). He's surely seen her through sickness & sadness & everything else in between. To force him to miss the birth of his own child because "she didn't want him to see her that way" is absolutely ludicrous. She took something from him that was absolutely irreplaceable. I couldn't imagine not allowing my husband in the delivery room when our son was born. I wouldn't have wanted him anywhere but! I don't blame him for leaving! She didn't want him there, after all. He wasn't going to see the birth, cut his child's cord, or hear their first cry. He was crushed. Why should he stay? NTA.
YTA, should have discussed things, but he only suspects she decided that before hand, and in the end it is HER DECISION. A lot of you people seem to think that just because a woman is giving birth that HER BODY is fair game to anyone and everyone. It's a huge problem and shows how much further we still need to go. A woman does not loose her autonomy just because she marries a man, a woman does not loose her autonomy just because she sleeps with a man, and a woman does not lose her autonomy just because she's giving birth to a man's child. It's his CHILD, and she didn't deny him even a second of seeing his son after he was born, the man did that. The man went home because he didn't get to make the decision over his WIFE'S body. The child would have been presented to him as SOON as he came into this world, the man is bitter, and so many people are feeding his ego.
So, it's been a year. Has mommy dearest called down yet? Question: she didn't want OP in delivery room. What could he do if there was an emergency? Pace faster???
ESH. Yes, she absolutely should have told him in advance she didn't want him in the room. But no, he absolutely should not have stormed off and not been there when she got out of delivery. He was being a petty, whiny child. Both suck.
I don't think he "stormed off". He hung around the hospital for 6 hours before he went home. Given that births can take more than 24 hours, how long do you think he should have stayed?
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I'm a very low-key person. When we had our 1st my husband & I went to Lamaze classes & had a birth plan with props & such. During labor, I threatened to kick the nurse's @$$ & kick the doctor in the nutz. I grabbed the focal point my husband was holding & threw it at another nurse, and told my husband if he tried to massage my back, I'd cut his hands off. So yeah, labor can cause temporary insanity.
I gritted my teeth and told my husband, “DON’T touch me!” He had been rubbing my lower back as the nurse had told him to. So, he stopped and the nurse said, “No, dad you have to keep doing that.” He said, “Nuh uh… you go ahead and try it.” I looked at the nurse and said, “You touch me and I punch you in the face.” Lol. No one touched my back again.
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What's the point of sitting around in a hospital waiting room for so many hours ? There's nothing you could have done. So yeah, going home was OK.
For some reason the person telling him get a DNA test is calling out to me. And I'm not normally that extreme but her behavior was
NTA.... so shocked thay people think you should wait over 15hours in a waiting room while that is going on while getting minimal information.. I doubt any of them would have waited ...
The husband and some commenters are totally a "man" trying ounce again to control in someway a woman's body and what she should do with her body and what happens to her body, lol
YTA seriously? Her BODY!!! Okay I've read all the comments so far and apparently no one wants to go there, so I will. Listen up OP. Maybe, just maybe your wife didn't want you to see everything that happens with a birth? It's not like the movies. She would have S**t herself during the delivery! Yeah that's a real thing!! Yes, you could have been at her head, but do you go with her to the bathroom everytime she has a bowel movement? Crazy, I know but a lot of people are really embarrassed about things like this. As well as being in the most vulnerable, unattractive, in pain situation she will ever be in. Her only mistake was not sitting down with you and discussing this earlier. How sad you can't respect your wife's wishes. Bet it's your last kid. Oh, and just think for a moment. Should you go into surgery to get a vasectomy, would you allow her into the operating room? For the record she wouldn't be allowed. Grow the hell up and be grateful for a healthy wife and baby.
Shadow - How sad that his wife couldn't respect HIS wishes! He missed one of the most important parts of the pregnancy. She didn't get pregnant on her own, but expected him to just forget about the actual birth. Sorry, but this was for both of them. If she didn't want him to see the messier parts of birth, she could have just kept him up near her head. She is the selfish one in this instance and nothing will ever get the moment back for him!
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ESH. The husband for acting like a selfish child instead of TRYING to understand his wife. His whole attitude, the entire thing is like keeping score. The wife for not communicating earlier. Maybe he isn't good in stressful situations or she didn't want him to see her so gross. She should have said something earlier instead of blindsiding him but I'm wondering WHY she didn't communicate earlier? There is a lot more to the story and it kinda looks like the husband wants to ignore his own misdoings because *she* did something worse. Have you ever dealt with kids? "Teacher, she hit me." "Yeah, well, she kicked me first!" Does the initial kick absolve the flowing hit?
The difference is, I’m assuming you both discussed this long before you got to the hospital. My husband would have been upset if I chose to exclude him, but he also wouldn't have contested it because he just wants me to be happy 🤷🏻♀️
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If anyone was potentially making him miss the first 3 minutes of his child's life that would have been on his wife, not him, in this scenario as he wasn't in the room and would have to be fetched. Not everyone stays in a the waiting room for every second either, he could have very reasonably gone for a pee-break at the crucial moment because he was only getting minimal updates. They don't always have time to say 'it's coming now' prior to it happening. For the record, I think she's perfectly well within her rights to choose who is in the room with her, but this is something they absolutely needed to discuss and agree long in advance of the day.
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You're being rather extreme. These aren't strangers, they're spouses! Why he couldn't be I'm the room for the hours before she pushed is beyond my understanding.
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In my country we have a good way of dealing with this; only 1 person is allowed at childbirth, that person must take a 3 day course together with the mum, must be announced to the hospital beforehand and must bring their own rope. So no surprises like this. Oh, mom and baby must stay in hospital for at least 3 days. So you know in advance what time to pick them up.
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i think those that are saying YTA are missing the point its not that she didn't want him there its the fact she didn't say in advance and waited till she was in labour and expected him to wait around for hours if they talked about it before he could have prepared and brought some things to make himself more comfortable while waiting
… not to mention mentally prepare. He’s probably been spending nine months imaging meeting his child in a certain way. It’s unreasonable to expect an expectant parent to *perfectly* shift emotional gears without warning
Load More Replies... Y’all need some marriage counseling. Your communication skills are sorely lacking. ESH
I really don't think ESH simply because his wife deprived OP of an experience he really wanted BOTH to share! He wanted HIM and HIS wife to be the ones holding the baby first, not everyone else but not him! I agree it is her decision, but it should have been stated prior, especially because it seems that OP would have shared previously the fact he can't wait to hold his baby, by how he described the entire situation.
Load More Replies... It was her choice absolutely but how have they never talked about this? That feels like a very strange omission.
In the opening paragraph, the OP writes, “We had not really discussed the plan for the hospital.” That’s all you need to read to see where this is going. PEOPLE, PLEASE TALK TO YOUR PARTNERS ABOUT IMPORTANT STUFF BEFORE IT HAPPENS! 🤦🏽♀️
I don’t think he was wrong for assuming he would be in the room. She was absolutely wrong for not communicating with him upfront.
Load More Replies... Really glad these two people in this incredibly unhealthy relationship decided to bring a life into the world. They're going to make great parents and that kid will be happy and well adjusted.
Absolutely, a happy, well adjusted tug-of-war rope.
Load More Replies... This was a poor communication issue. She should have told him way in advance and not blindsided him like that.
And ignoring the misandry and emasculation. She has no respect for him. If I were him, I would demand a paternity test before putting anything on the birth certificate. And if it’s not his, divorce.
Load More Replies... I wouldn't want anyone to see me giving birth, that's valid but he should have been told beforehand
Yep. He can't communicate with a closed door. About 38 weeks ago would have been the best time
Load More Replies... Was this the immaculate conception? She didn't get there by herself. If she didn't want him to see her actually deliver the baby she could have just told him to stay at her side by her head and not look. I'm sure he would have been fine with that. It really says alot that she chose not to share that moment with her husband and the father of the child. OP is nta.
Didn't you know, a baby will make everything all better
Load More Replies... I can't believe all those saying OP is in the wrong on this. Unless the mother is sure the father will be useless in the birthing process and will just cause more stress the father has a RIGHT to be present at their child's birth. This is a once in a lifetime, miraculous experience and to deny that to a father just because you "don't want him to see you like. this" is just so wrong. Particularly since she didn't have a problem with her sister and mother being there. So unless she expected him to be an utter jerk (which there is no reason to assume in this post) she had no right to do this. Most fathers get to "catch" the baby during a delivery. They are literally the first person to hold the child. She denied him that experience with no good reason that we know of. How cruel.
He doesn't have a right to an opinion when she murders his child. It was pretty obvious that he was walking on air for the whole pregnancy
Load More Replies... Lack of communication was/is the root of all this. Wife absolutely should have informed husband that she had no intention of letting him into the delivery room, and husband should have asked. ESH.
Get a dna test asap. Maybe she had an affair an wasn't sure if the baby was gonna look like you or someone else an didn't want you to flip out. She sounds like she was covering something up.
Have you ever seen a newborn? They look pretty much like aliens.
Load More Replies... The wife is clearly the AH here. Let's say she has a super long labour, like 18 hours. No complications, just long. Is the husband still expected to sit at the waiting room 18 hours straight with zero update? I'm afraid even hospital staff would tell him to go home and rest up. And did not tell her husband "the plan" only until the last minute? For a 100% forseeable event? There's a big red flag flowing around. If I were giving birth to a baby, I would LOVE to hug my baby daddy like a big teddy bear if I could. Leaving him out of the delivery room is absolutely absurd. He need to get the peternity test done. FAST.
NAH but communication could've been better. He was within his rights to leave, and she likely read posts where fathers were unable to be intimate with mothers after seeing a natural birth
Wow the whole thing resolved in 17 words. 40 weeks and time for her food cravings (a real good time to chat), time for huge expensive shopping trip but no time to discuss something that he was looking forward to
Load More Replies... ESH. OP should have talked about this before, but OP’s wife shouldn’t have expected for OP to wait 15 HOURS in the hospital. Edit: typo
I know a couple who went through something similar when their daughter was born. He never got to feel the baby kick, and pretty much got left out of the whole process. Things were not the same between them ever since. In OP'S case, he was done dirty by his wife. By circumventing any possibility of a discussion, she literally treated him like a sperm donor and an inconvenience. Maybe she should just pay him his stud fee and leave. NTA.
Who goes with her in the delivery room should be her decision. It doesn't mean he was treated like a sperm donor. The nasty part is that she did not discuss this with him beforehand and explained her reasons. Plenty of women don't want their male partners in the delivery room but feel pressured by society to let them in anyway.
Load More Replies... Joann Hart and Jefferson Selvy-WHO hurt you guys?? Chill the fúck out, already. GodDAMN.
NTA. You are married. You are not separated. You had made a plan together to pack and call her mother and sister. In this case, there would be no reason "for the father to ask if it was ok to be in the delivery room." If she felt differently, she should have brought it up earlier. To everyone saying, "what if something went wrong or she died?" Well he still wouldn't have been let in unless right before she passed out she instructed him to be brought back and in that emergency situation, they wouldn't bring him back anyway. If she felt the need to exclude him completely then no, he doesn't need to sit there just to be the taxi service home. Everyone giving her a pass because of her hormones is delusional. That is no excuse for this situation. Sadly, I think getting a paternity test is a good call. I also doubt that you can have a good relationship with her after this. Once trust has been broken to this extent, it's hard to get it back. Now the question is, "Do you even want to try?"
ESH. She can't undo not letting him in and he can't undo not being there to bring the baby home. With 2 parents THIS self involved I feel for that baby.
Maybe she read an article about that weird phenomenon where some men can't find their wife sexually attractive after watching them give birth? Still something that should have been discussed and op should have stayed there for his baby ESH
It was discussed with the OBGYN. The person with legal authority to authorize emergency medical treatment has to be in the room if you're not in some third world sewer
Load More Replies... I mean if she doesn't want him in the room for the birth the doctors probably won't let him in at all like he said.
And that take two things: 1. A power of attorney in someone else hands (probably the sister) 2. A credible accusation of unsafe conditions. The doc is a mandatory reporter so wait for CPS they're coming
Load More Replies... MY husband stayed in hospital 'doing nothing' with me for DAYS while I gave birth. OK I didn't chuck him out of the L&D Room, but even if I had i think he would have fought it, properly. Its so weird she didnt want him there and I can agree he probably felt like 'whats the point i'll go home' but dont do that. It's weird this was of the cuff, there has to be more to this.
I suspect that the birth of their son was not the only event from which he was excluded. Was he the first to know about the pregnancy? Did he get to feel the baby kick, see the sonogram? Was he even allowed to accompany his wife to any medical appointments? Or was he shut out with the excuse, "This is a woman issue; you wouldn't understand "? But hell hath no fury if she didn't get the expense baby furniture, clothes, and have each and every craving satisfied. I wouldn't blame him if he decides that one child is enough.
Load More Replies... Maybe SHE should have communicated. But it's not on him. When a husband & wife have a baby, 99.99% of the time, the husband is in the delivery room. Why would he have any reason to assume otherwise? He was present for literally every other part of preparing for the baby. He was obviously there when they made the baby (unless it's not his, in which case, he was at least there when they had sex, & thought he was). He's surely seen her through sickness & sadness & everything else in between. To force him to miss the birth of his own child because "she didn't want him to see her that way" is absolutely ludicrous. She took something from him that was absolutely irreplaceable. I couldn't imagine not allowing my husband in the delivery room when our son was born. I wouldn't have wanted him anywhere but! I don't blame him for leaving! She didn't want him there, after all. He wasn't going to see the birth, cut his child's cord, or hear their first cry. He was crushed. Why should he stay? NTA.
YTA, should have discussed things, but he only suspects she decided that before hand, and in the end it is HER DECISION. A lot of you people seem to think that just because a woman is giving birth that HER BODY is fair game to anyone and everyone. It's a huge problem and shows how much further we still need to go. A woman does not loose her autonomy just because she marries a man, a woman does not loose her autonomy just because she sleeps with a man, and a woman does not lose her autonomy just because she's giving birth to a man's child. It's his CHILD, and she didn't deny him even a second of seeing his son after he was born, the man did that. The man went home because he didn't get to make the decision over his WIFE'S body. The child would have been presented to him as SOON as he came into this world, the man is bitter, and so many people are feeding his ego.
So, it's been a year. Has mommy dearest called down yet? Question: she didn't want OP in delivery room. What could he do if there was an emergency? Pace faster???
ESH. Yes, she absolutely should have told him in advance she didn't want him in the room. But no, he absolutely should not have stormed off and not been there when she got out of delivery. He was being a petty, whiny child. Both suck.
I don't think he "stormed off". He hung around the hospital for 6 hours before he went home. Given that births can take more than 24 hours, how long do you think he should have stayed?
Load More Replies... I'm a very low-key person. When we had our 1st my husband & I went to Lamaze classes & had a birth plan with props & such. During labor, I threatened to kick the nurse's @$$ & kick the doctor in the nutz. I grabbed the focal point my husband was holding & threw it at another nurse, and told my husband if he tried to massage my back, I'd cut his hands off. So yeah, labor can cause temporary insanity.
I gritted my teeth and told my husband, “DON’T touch me!” He had been rubbing my lower back as the nurse had told him to. So, he stopped and the nurse said, “No, dad you have to keep doing that.” He said, “Nuh uh… you go ahead and try it.” I looked at the nurse and said, “You touch me and I punch you in the face.” Lol. No one touched my back again.
Load More Replies... What's the point of sitting around in a hospital waiting room for so many hours ? There's nothing you could have done. So yeah, going home was OK.
For some reason the person telling him get a DNA test is calling out to me. And I'm not normally that extreme but her behavior was
NTA.... so shocked thay people think you should wait over 15hours in a waiting room while that is going on while getting minimal information.. I doubt any of them would have waited ...
The husband and some commenters are totally a "man" trying ounce again to control in someway a woman's body and what she should do with her body and what happens to her body, lol
YTA seriously? Her BODY!!! Okay I've read all the comments so far and apparently no one wants to go there, so I will. Listen up OP. Maybe, just maybe your wife didn't want you to see everything that happens with a birth? It's not like the movies. She would have S**t herself during the delivery! Yeah that's a real thing!! Yes, you could have been at her head, but do you go with her to the bathroom everytime she has a bowel movement? Crazy, I know but a lot of people are really embarrassed about things like this. As well as being in the most vulnerable, unattractive, in pain situation she will ever be in. Her only mistake was not sitting down with you and discussing this earlier. How sad you can't respect your wife's wishes. Bet it's your last kid. Oh, and just think for a moment. Should you go into surgery to get a vasectomy, would you allow her into the operating room? For the record she wouldn't be allowed. Grow the hell up and be grateful for a healthy wife and baby.
Shadow - How sad that his wife couldn't respect HIS wishes! He missed one of the most important parts of the pregnancy. She didn't get pregnant on her own, but expected him to just forget about the actual birth. Sorry, but this was for both of them. If she didn't want him to see the messier parts of birth, she could have just kept him up near her head. She is the selfish one in this instance and nothing will ever get the moment back for him!
Load More Replies... ESH. The husband for acting like a selfish child instead of TRYING to understand his wife. His whole attitude, the entire thing is like keeping score. The wife for not communicating earlier. Maybe he isn't good in stressful situations or she didn't want him to see her so gross. She should have said something earlier instead of blindsiding him but I'm wondering WHY she didn't communicate earlier? There is a lot more to the story and it kinda looks like the husband wants to ignore his own misdoings because *she* did something worse. Have you ever dealt with kids? "Teacher, she hit me." "Yeah, well, she kicked me first!" Does the initial kick absolve the flowing hit?
The difference is, I’m assuming you both discussed this long before you got to the hospital. My husband would have been upset if I chose to exclude him, but he also wouldn't have contested it because he just wants me to be happy 🤷🏻♀️
Load More Replies... If anyone was potentially making him miss the first 3 minutes of his child's life that would have been on his wife, not him, in this scenario as he wasn't in the room and would have to be fetched. Not everyone stays in a the waiting room for every second either, he could have very reasonably gone for a pee-break at the crucial moment because he was only getting minimal updates. They don't always have time to say 'it's coming now' prior to it happening. For the record, I think she's perfectly well within her rights to choose who is in the room with her, but this is something they absolutely needed to discuss and agree long in advance of the day.
Load More Replies... You're being rather extreme. These aren't strangers, they're spouses! Why he couldn't be I'm the room for the hours before she pushed is beyond my understanding.
Load More Replies... In my country we have a good way of dealing with this; only 1 person is allowed at childbirth, that person must take a 3 day course together with the mum, must be announced to the hospital beforehand and must bring their own rope. So no surprises like this. Oh, mom and baby must stay in hospital for at least 3 days. So you know in advance what time to pick them up.
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